How can you make your commentated let's play more entertaining? Let's Play critque thread

[I Hate Snatch Steal]

The idea behind this thread is that anyone can post a link to a let's play video that they or someone they know recorded with the intent of getting critique on how to make it more entertaining next time. I had wanted something like this for myself, but decided other people might want it too.

 

The three rules (for now) are as follows:

 

0. Mods have the final say, they can even take over this thread if they want to.

 

1. You must post a video that you or someone you know recorded and is willing to take criticism on. This is to avoid turning this into a discussion thread about popular youtubers and thus defeat the purpose of the critique aspect. Feel free to mention popular youtubers as examples of how things are done though.

 

2. There is no time limit on how long your video can be, but people don't have to watch all of it before replying if its long.

 

 

edit:

Maybe these starwars battlefront 2 videos will generate some discussion:

 

 

[I Hate Snatch Steal]

I thought I'd give this thread another try