The PS4 Test

[IQuitDolphin]

This is a test I have decided to cook up that could possibly merit good discussion in terms of how discipline should be conducted.

 

Take the case of a elementary school student (about second grade); let's call him Todd. He is not academic, and spends the majority of the time playing his dank new PS4, which he received for his birthday. His grades have been falling ever since the start of the school year, and soon he has an F (or the equivalent of an F) in all of his classes 4 weeks before the school year is finished. Although he has an F, he has enough time to get a passing grade if he works diligently for the rest of the year. He has not told his parents about his problems and his parents do not inquire further after Todd replies "good" when his parents ask "How is school?". His parents soon learns about the problem and confronts their son.

 

----

 

Now, the test is, what would you (the parent) do?

 

Keep in mind that all of the statements above are cold, hard facts, and emotion should be purposely excluded from any responses. Also keep in mind that Todd is still young, meaning that his moral compass has not been completely set by his/her parents.

[Shalltear Bloodfallen]

First of all, I would want to know why I was being lied to.

Second of all it's a ultimatum, either get passing grades, or I will be limiting/taking away his Ps4 acess.

If needed to I will make damn sure that they study (as in I will watch them do it)

 

If I utterly feel I cant trust him, I would speak to the teachers directly, and ask they inform me about Todd's test scores (and such), just so Todd cant keep on lying.

 

It may have been a gift, therefore it's a touchy situation if I have the "right" to limit console acess, but it's my job to take care of Todd, and make sure they can eventually support themself. Neglecting school is a quick start on a bad downward spiral, and I wont accept that happening to my own son/daughter. They may hate me then, but eventually they'll know why I did it and thank me for it

 

And yes I speak from experience, I'm still working on climbing my way out of the hell that occured by basicly just neglecting school for an entire year

[The Amazing Avian]

Firstly, my son would have a glorious pc because I didn't raise a peasant.

Secondly, he probably built it himself because again, I did not raise a peasant.

Thirdly, I would give him an ultimatum, pass or disassemble it until I see improvement. I understand that he wants to play games and whatnot because I can relate to it. However I can also relate to not passing and shooting yourself in the foot because of it. I'd honestly rather not see him repeat my mistakes.

[~British Soul~]

1. I'd be asking myself "Why didn't I set boundaries regarding the PS4 to begin with?"

2. I'd find out why he lied to me. (though I'd be expecting a "I dunno" response)

3. Present the ultimatum; Get a passing grade or I'll take away your PS4 access

4. To show that I'm being serious, take away his access anyway and supervise his studying.

 

I understand that he wants to play games, but he also needs to realise studying is important and if he fails the year, it'll be on his permanent record and will have an underlying impact in the future, so intervention before it's too late is key. He mate hate me now, but he'll soon realise that I'm doing this for his future.

[mitchermitcher]

Since we are going with that premise for this thread I won't go into the whole 'I wouldn't have let this happen' schtick.

 

I am a firm believer that a kid's job is to play more than anything else since that's how I was raised myself, as long as the kid develops an interest for learning things. Getting all F's in class is bad but not the worst thing ever when he's still a second grader. Scoldings and severe limiting of playtime is a given to try to make him understand how bad the situation's gotten. I'd do my best to help him understand enough to get that passing grade within 4 weeks. If despite our best efforts he still failed then that's that. If he's worked hard then I won't even scold him anymore, I'll just encourage him to work harder next time. If he didn't put in the effort despite being scolded and whatnot then sheet, I've failed, he's failed, I don't know what I'd do then. Say goodbye to that PS4 but by then that's not the important thing.

 

The kid's moral compass was mentioned and that's an interesting point. Is he failing just because of his disregard for studying? Is it because of how things are being taught at school? Studying aside, how does he treat other people? If he's a good and kind child that treats others with respect then even if he's failing school right now as a second grader I'd have faith in this hypothetical child of mine to develop an earnest mind for learning as he grows older(naturally, with a lot of support and raising towards that ideal). The ultimate goal isn't to prevent him from failing the year but to prevent him from becoming a worse person as a result of failing and negligence.

[vla1ne]

why not study and play together? if he's in second grade then the parental attachment would likely still be there, why no build off of it? sit with him to learn the problems that he's studying so that you know he's got a grasp of the problems. make sure he's getting what the teacher's teaching, even if you have to teach him yourself after classes. and when the homework is done, let him play what he wants. improved grades can be rewarded with new games/ allowance/accessories, and poor grades can lead to increased amount of things that he has to study and review before playing. it'd give him motivation to improve his grades, and ensure that he learns as well as enjoys his game time. 

[Progenitor]

Having gone through literally this exact same thing myself, I would impose a new rule on his video game privileges. Basically, based on how many of each grade he has, and what grade that is, the total play time at any given point would be limited.

For example:

4 or more F's results in 0 game time.

1 F restricts it to an hour per week, on the weekend. (That's not nearly as harsh as it sounds. My parents held me to this all through elementary school, and I was a pretty dang good student in elementary school)

On the other hand:

All A's or 4 A's and 1 B results in unrestricted play time.

All Cs is maybe something like no play time during the school week, but unrestricted on weekends.

If he gets caught going against the stipulations, then he gets knocked down a level for a certain set period of time. He has to know exactly what the consequence will be, not just that "there will be consequences". Multiple offenses yield increasing punishment. Failure to follow the rules at the base level of no play time would result in me confiscating the PS4 until he is able to move up a level.

 

In that method, the child's play time is directly correlated on the grades he receives. The parent is not punishing the child, rather the child quickly learns that in order to have the most fun, they have to get the best grades. It enforces a "work hard, then play hard" mentality, and that kind of structure is what children need to learn. Yes they need to have fun, but that fun cannot come at the expense of study. The scale also needs to be adjusted to the child. Maybe my child just isn't an A student. He's just struggling to get the few A's he can. Then I would make the restrictions on an "all B" scale much less strict (not like they already were).

 

In Todd's case, first the problem must be identified. Is the PS4 truly the cause? Or is it just a catalyst? This can be found out easily by talking with the teacher. They will know if something has changed due to the drastic shift in the quality of submitted work. Has Math homework stopped being turned in? Are English papers sub par compared to previous papers? Is he finishing tests much later than he used to? That kind of thing. If they say yes, then it's safe to assume the PS4 is at least part of the problem, and this system should be enforced.

 

That's just my opinion though. I've been known to be a bit compulsive, especially when t comes to video games. That's why I was so restricted as a kid. It helped a lot looking back. I was struggling a lot in High School during my senior year, so guess what? I uninstalled Steam. I did a complete 180 in my grades. Granted, that was a personal realization and decision. You can't just straight up cut kids off at that age, because they see it as you being unfair to them. If the punishment is known and completely controlled by them however, you would be surprised how quickly kids can adapt to achieve the best case scenario.

[♪ ♪Aria ♪ ♪]

I would ask first, why he is lying, to check whether he will give an honest answer or not.........

If he answers honestly, I would propose an Ultimatum, "You must promise work hard to fix your grades, if not then I will sell the PS4." This will inflict fear inhis character and make him do things the proper way, since fear can force someone to do the right thing......

If he accepts it, then I'll let it slide for today, but I will keep track whether he does what I say, or keep doing the bad routine.......

If I found out that he didn't keep the promise, I take the PS4 Immediately and "pretend" to sell it, then he will be depressed, but I'll offer him to "buy" a new one if he could fix his grades......

 

If he denies the promise, then I will immediately take the PS4 and "sell it", then repeat the same as above......

 

If he proved successful, then I'll give him extra.....

[MiracleGhost47]

I would ask first, why he is lying, to check whether he will give an honest answer or not.........

If he answers honestly, I would propose an Ultimatum, "You must promise work hard to fix your grades, if not then I will sell the PS4." This will inflict fear inhis character and make him do things the proper way, since fear can force someone to do the right thing......

If he accepts it, then I'll let it slide for today, but I will keep track whether he does what I say, or keep doing the bad routine.......

If I found out that he didn't keep the promise, I take the PS4 Immediately and "pretend" to sell it, then he will be depressed, but I'll offer him to "buy" a new one if he could fix his grades......

 

If he denies the promise, then I will immediately take the PS4 and "sell it", then repeat the same as above......

 

If he proved successful, then I'll give him extra.....

Why do you need to pretend to sell it when you could just take it to your your room and tell him he lost his privileges? Being sneaky like that is dangerous, because if he does somehow find it, he not only knows that it's not safe to trust you, but also gets further assurance that it's safe to lie to others. I heard that children have a tendency to lie when they see others doing it. Even when they overhear a "white" lie, they consider it solid proof that it's okay to lie whenever they feel like it. 

 

Sorry if I'm jumping off-topic, but I felt like I needed to point that out. 

[♪ ♪Aria ♪ ♪]

 

Why do you need to pretend to sell it when you could just take it to your your room and tell him he lost his privileges? Being sneaky like that is dangerous, because if he does somehow find it, he not only knows that it's not safe to trust you, but also gets further assurance that it's safe to lie to others. I heard that children have a tendency to lie when they see others doing it. Even when they overhear a "white" lie, they consider it solid proof that it's okay to lie whenever they feel like it. 

 

Well, I think this ways is more economically safe, since you don't need to buy a new PS4 when proved successful, and save some amount of dollars, but I agree it isn't the best and wisest choice to do... Since children tend to follow their parents footsteps.....

 

I'm not  fit to be a parent after all.......Since I tend to think only about my interests