Jump to content

Cherry Heart [Quest-based RP] Always Accepting

Aix

By Aix
in Out-of-Character Planning

Recommended Posts

Thar Rookie

Thar

Posted
Posted

Sorry guys, but due to an overall lack of interest, I've decided to drop out. Kyng's critique had nothing to do with it cause it was completely fair and sensible, but since that was the one character app I had completed and was ready to use, I knew that if it wasn't right then all my motivation to RP would drain while working on it anymore. It's a shame, cause it's been years since I actually completed an RP app, but I guess my inability to improve it only means this kinda thing just ain't for me.

 

EDIT: Nevermind.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 368
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Yui Enthusiast

Yui

Posted
Posted

Look at that I've finally got an app done. Time to go do a second one fml

[spoiler=Izula, Who Smiles at Death]

l6AdzUc.jpg

"Would you die already? It's almost like you don't realize how important death is!"

Name: Izula

 

Age: 22

 

Race: Kettir

 

Sex: Female

 

[spoiler=Appearance]wAfah2d.jpg

Height: 5'5

Weight: 118 pounds

 

[spoiler=Personality]

Before anything can be said of Izula herself, it should be noted that she is of the Xol'Kettir tribe. This means she both fears and worships the death god Xolti, and believes that when something dies, its soul is sent to Xolti so he can consume it. As a shaman of the tribe, Izula will actively seek sacrifices she considers something Xolti will enjoy; exotic life forms and those who try to run away from or prevent death are particular priorities on her list. These sacrifices aren't just to appease the death god either. The Xol'Kettir believe that should Xolti grow too hungry, he will descend upon the world and consume it in its entirety. In a nutshell, the belief goes something like "Death is good because it makes Xolti happy and also keeps him from causing an apocalypse; we need to kill things." This belief system is not to be confused with genocide; killing all of something at once will mean it won't be there ever again afterwards, essentially denying Xolti future meals. This helps separate Xol'Kettir shamans from blind mass murderers.

 

Izula herself, first and foremost, a shaman of Xolti, meaning she reveres death and will happily bring it to others. Those who try to run away from death are the most likely to be her targets for future sacrifices. On that note, it should be noted that regular sacrifices are still an important and fulfilling part of Izula's day-to-day. Even if it's just something small like a rabbit, rest assured that Izula will try to sacrifice at least one thing to the death god on any given day. Gods gotta eat, after all.

 

Barring her obsession with death however, she is still a shaman, trained to have the best interests of others at heart. She just has a really weird way of expressing it. She believes that death is for the best in every way, which can be a frightening combination with her ability to hold a grudge. These grudges will usually be directed at those who betray her, the Xol'Kettir, death, or an important friend. Those who pursue immortality or already have it cannot under any circumstances be forgiven. With immortals, she'll be hostile at best.

 

As far as Izula as a person goes, she's quite sociable when not on the hunt. Generally very patient and willing to share her wisdom with those around her, Izula fits the personality one would expect of a shaman quite well. She frowns upon cruelty and blashphemy alike, but she considers things like treating the ill to be among the former. Although her morals may not quite be in line with the "normal" sorts, Izula's a good girl who tries to do good things for others. Even if it invovles killing them. Especially if it involves killing them.

 

[spoiler=Biography]

As an infant, the first sights and sounds to fill Izula's baby mind were those of a sacrifice ritual. The fire, blood, dancing, chanting, and pleas for mercy from the sacrifice all coincided with her birth under the light of a moon that could be seen through the storm clouds ever hovering above Zyzymt. According to Xol'Kettir custom, a child born under the light of the moon was destined for greatness, and would be trained in the ways of a shaman of death. As well as how to hunt and kill, she'd be taught how to handle the numerous rituals surrounding death, including but not limited to:

 

Finding a sacrifice and then sending them to Xolti's domain

Proper raising of a dead Xol'Kettir's remains after their death

The glorious execution of any who betray Xolti or the Xol'Kettir, and finally

Ritualistic suicide when the shaman is no longer able to serve the tribe

 

Of those who are selected to become shamans, only about 10% of Xol'Kettir are able to raise the bodies of the dead; one cannot become a shaman without this skill. Izula, alongside two other trainees in a group of 36, possesesed this power, and as such were to kill the others. However, unlike the other two, rituals weren't all Izula was good at. In fact, she was proving to be an even better hunter than a shaman. These "war shamans" weren't unheard of, and were given positions of honor in the war efforts against the Ae'Kettir and any other races unwilling to embrace the jaws of death.

 

Izula's military career ended with a notorious blunder that led to the escape of an Ae'Kettir shaman mere hours before his execution. Both disgraced and unwilling to take his place while she could still perform the rituals of a shaman, Izula ran away. Several Xol'Kettir were sent to find her and tell her that she wasn't going to be executed, but none returned. Ae'Kettir camps would find themselves devastated with no survivors, but Izula was unable to find the shaman that got away.

 

Two years ago, she learned that her prey had fled Zyzymt once it became clear Izula was looking for him. Izula immediately began killing anything she could use parts from to make a rather sketchy boat, leaving her native jungle and vowing to not return to her people until she tracked down and properly executed the shaman that got away.

 

Her discovery of Cherry Heart not long after reaching Arbolia gave her both a potential means of finding her target and getting quests to kill things to help keep Xolti's appetite in check. She was all too eager to join up.

 

[spoiler=Abilities]

(un)Death for from the Death God!: Izula, as with any Xol'Kettir shaman, has the power to reanimate the bodies of the recently-deceased as a mindless ghoul. They interpret this ability as Xolti granting them favor for delivering him more food, but the reality is this is just good ol' magic. The zombies conjured up by this ability generally stick around for about three days before deteriorating, and the magic itself can't be used on a body that's been dead for over an hour. Using this magic requires a brief ritual, but the ritual in question is also capable of summoning multiple ghouls at once.

 

Violent Voodoo: Blood magic is a common tradition among Xol'Kettir hunters that are able to use magic. More or less universally, they use this blood magic to coat their knives in blood and give it poisonous properties. The "poison" will then work its way into the target's bloodstream with each cut, causing increased pain in the afflicted area and halting the body's healing processes in the poison's general area. Too much of this enchanted blood in one's body can and most likely will lead to death.

 

Femme Feline: The Kettir have feline traits in more than just their appearance. They are quick on their feet, have excellent reflexes and flexibility, and can use their sharp claws to help climb trees.

 

Combat Training: Zyzymt is a savage place, and when you're participating in a war there you're expected to know what to do. Izula is skilled with the use of a knife in combat, using swift agile strikes to wear her opponent down while taking care not to take any herself.

 

[spoiler=Misc]

Carries a knife with her at all times. Primarily meant for sacrifice, but combat is a close second for the purpose of its design.

 

 

 

Increased her combat capabilities as requested.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
JessicaMuddy Newbie

JessicaMuddy

Posted
Posted

Muddy, Momma is acceptable. Kirby, I'm unsure. Limit his ability to use this magic when he is using a form - as opposed to swallow fire, become fire, swallow earth, become fire+earth, etc - and it'll become acceptable. With abilities as strong as these you cannot be generic about its description. Detail is needed. This is also the case with Kenpachi - his lockdown's cost, is it a one-time charge of blood, is it continual? How much blood does he have? How much times does an amount of blood give him?

Fixed Kenpachi's blood thing, but I'm a little unsure what you mean by the Fire Storm thing. Are you saying he should always have the power to become fire, then get an additional thing with it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Love of Ghibli Newbie

Love of Ghibli

Posted
Posted

These reviews ere looking for discrepancies for acceptability. If you want more in depth reviews with pros and cons let me know, I guess. With this said:

 

Next Tuesday, your app is unacceptable. Your explanation of what magic he uses is of insufficient quality and detail. You may use the video link to supplement it, certainly, however you should describe your magic's capabilities in detail regardless. See this done and your application can be re-evaluated.

 

 

I have edited the abilities.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Kyng Newbie

Kyng

Posted
Posted

Yui Prime, your app is acceptable.

 

Muddy, Kenpachi is acceptable. Regarding Firestorm, what I mean is simply this: if he can copy what he consumes, what is to stop him from continuously copying more and more until he essentially becomes unstoppable? Kirby's copy ability is limited to 1 power, he must then rid of it before consuming again. This limitation isn't noticeable on Firestorm, nor an alternative.

 

Next Tuesday, your app is acceptable.

 

Cherz, your app is acceptable.

 

I will be working on the IC. I will not likely have it up by today due to going to London, however I will attempt to have it up by Friday at the latest.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
cardgameking Newbie

cardgameking

Posted
Posted

cardgameking, while your character's lack of specialization in magic is acceptable it might be problematic for him in the future. Something to consider.

 

 

Well, I suppose that is easily solved. Lots of magic people in the guild, so one of them can teach him, and as his condition reverses magic, so he'll (hopefully) become even more unique. May add in some kind of necromancer rader though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow Experienced

LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow

Posted
Posted

Can I just say the nurse's Love Beam seems incredibly iffy? It completely negates a male character who finds her attractive (which means just physically, something even people uninterested could feel) and it kinda sounds like something that'd lead to a lot of problems.

In that anyone can just say the target isn't attracted so it's either a power that will be

1.) Frustrating to use as there's no really arguing if a character decides it doesn't work

2.) If it does work it totally takes the character out of commission.

 

I get that it needs to hit and that it's male only but...seems iffy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
JessicaMuddy Newbie

JessicaMuddy

Posted
Posted

Muddy, Kenpachi is acceptable. Regarding Firestorm, what I mean is simply this: if he can copy what he consumes, what is to stop him from continuously copying more and more until he essentially becomes unstoppable? Kirby's copy ability is limited to 1 power, he must then rid of it before consuming again. This limitation isn't noticeable on Firestorm, nor an alternative.

 

Ah, got it. Will change now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Cherz Newbie

Cherz

Posted
Posted

Can I just say the nurse's Love Beam seems incredibly iffy? It completely negates a male character who finds her attractive (which means just physically, something even people uninterested could feel) and it kinda sounds like something that'd lead to a lot of problems.

In that anyone can just say the target isn't attracted so it's either a power that will be

1.) Frustrating to use as there's no really arguing if a character decides it doesn't work

2.) If it does work it totally takes the character out of commission.

 

I get that it needs to hit and that it's male only but...seems iffy.

I added a bit of text explaining it better, I think you have the wrong idea about Charm.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow Experienced

LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow

Posted
Posted

I added a bit of text explaining it better, I think you have the wrong idea about Charm.

It still seems super strong. They can't do anything for a few seconds, granting free hits, and avoid attacking the healer. Plus the pain/pleasure would certainly affect their capability to fight.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Maeriberii Haan Newbie

Maeriberii Haan

Posted
Posted

I'd believe it's affected by someone's willpower (and preferences) too, so most of the time she'd only charm human mobs at best.

 

On the other hand, Sedation can pretty much be the same thing. Might need a delay to its effect and explanation on range.

 

Anyway, sorting out the rest of the reviews.

 

Thar: I think we've talked about it in Skype. Gush is fine now.

Raine: Reo is fine. I don't think she's meant to be a combatant, so ability-wise she should be fine. Although, I'd be curious on your ideas on how will she use her magic during the RP's course.

Toyo: Lisei should be fine. Bio is...adequate, I'd say, and maybe you can add more fluff to it in the future. Ability wise he seems to be really powerful, but looks manageable.

Cardlover: Angel looks fine, but how detailed can Nano Eyes be? And, how will it work for its "figuring the best strategy in battles" part?

 

Alright, that should be it for now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
JessicaMuddy Newbie

JessicaMuddy

Posted
Posted

I'd believe it's affected by someone's willpower (and preferences) too, so most of the time she'd only charm human mobs at best.

 

On the other hand, Sedation can pretty much be the same thing. Might need a delay to its effect and explanation on range.

 

Anyway, sorting out the rest of the reviews.

 

Thar: I think we've talked about it in Skype. Gush is fine now.

Raine: Reo is fine. I don't think she's meant to be a combatant, so ability-wise she should be fine. Although, I'd be curious on your ideas on how will she use her magic during the RP's course.

Toyo: Lisei should be fine. Bio is...adequate, I'd say, and maybe you can add more fluff to it in the future. Ability wise he seems to be really powerful, but looks manageable.

Cardlover: Angel looks fine, but how detailed can Nano Eyes be? And, how will it work for its "figuring the best strategy in battles" part?

 

Alright, that should be it for now.

What about Fire Storm?

I fixed his ability.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Raine Newbie

Raine

Posted
Posted

I'd believe it's affected by someone's willpower (and preferences) too, so most of the time she'd only charm human mobs at best.

 

On the other hand, Sedation can pretty much be the same thing. Might need a delay to its effect and explanation on range.

 

Anyway, sorting out the rest of the reviews.

 

Thar: I think we've talked about it in Skype. Gush is fine now.

Raine: Reo is fine. I don't think she's meant to be a combatant, so ability-wise she should be fine. Although, I'd be curious on your ideas on how will she use her magic during the RP's course.

Toyo: Lisei should be fine. Bio is...adequate, I'd say, and maybe you can add more fluff to it in the future. Ability wise he seems to be really powerful, but looks manageable.

Cardlover: Angel looks fine, but how detailed can Nano Eyes be? And, how will it work for its "figuring the best strategy in battles" part?

 

Alright, that should be it for now.

 

Fighting is for meat heads and inadequately-endowed! Reo will be won-dee-see-mo as a support type character, and her ability will allow me to make sure she can always find unique and creative ways to ensure mission success. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...