Naturia Yggdrasil (Limited)

[Yuuji Kazami]

You guys can all thank Cherz for getting me back into Naturias again. This card has already been uploaded to Duel Portal.

 

 

Limited because it was way too powerful when used with her custom cards in a Naturia Deck.. This is also VERY, VERY nerfed compared to the original. Thanks to Cherz for playtesting this.

 

I'm a little unsure of the wording on the draw effect. I don't think targeting and shuffling at once is a valid cost.

 

Thoughts please.

[Blake]

Given that this is NOT the Duel Portal forum, it isn't exactly acceptable to say "I'm making a limited card", especially not in Advanced Cards. This is a section held to higher standards of design, in its current state, and this means you strive to make cards that do not deserve a limit. The fact that Konami pumps out power cards means nothing as an argument.

Moving on, the flavor doesn't make sense.

Firstly, Naturia already has a sacred tree, and it's associated with the Sephirot and Qliphot, concepts from Jewish mysticism. It serves as the Sephirot, while its roots are the Sephirot. As such, this just seems odd, as their sacred tree has already been classified, and it's with another set of beliefs.

However, those aren't even associated with the Naturia archetype, merely being called "Sacred Tree", and their leaders are Leodrake and 3/4 of the Cardinal Beasts. (Azure) Dragon, (White) Tiger, and (Black) Tortoise, with the (Vermillion) Bird never printed/shown. In-theme, it doesn't make sense for the tree to be anything except associated with Sophia/Tierra or the cardinal beasts.

Additionally, while it isn't playable, the deck has a field spell that would include this in its area, so... Just doesn't make sense that there is a field within a field. Being a continuous spell would make a lot more sense.

 

What you can do here is think outside the box. Ritual Beasts are a mixture of Gusto and the remnants of/spirits of the Naturia Forest... So why not make this something associated with said spirits? Sure, the art probably needs a change, but you could easily name it something along the lines of "Naturia Spiritual Grounds".

The real crime of this card is that you didn't adequately limit its design, and made it do way too much. 3 effects on one card with no gimmick to them isn't elegant OR a smart design avenue. In fact, "once per duel" restrictions are even worse than declaring a card limited, usually, because they mean you are intentionally overdesigning a card and justifying it with an inelegant clause, when you could simply make a more fair card.

So let's move on. It can search... Sacred Tree or Forest, meaning this effect isn't worthy of a once per duel restriction. IF anything, it just seems wrong that it can search itself, as design standpoint means that your cards should encourage interaction with one another, not making 3-card sets that work all as one and make other cards better. This design comes across as a S/T TGU, considering Tree is semi-generic and the hard OPD is unneeded. The second copy could just search the third, and you still managed to find tree in the first place, ala Sangan.

The second effect seems like you undercosted it. Return 2...? I mean, Return 3 or 4 to draw one makes a lot more sense. This is less than half the cost of the Avarice cards, acting as if it's a Scrap Recycler... But this is a spell. Just bump it up to 3 or 4, leaning to 3, because the deck itself still isn't that good. The "Once per turn," listed in this part of the effect is redundant, as well.

Then there's the third effect... Why does this reward you for blowing it up? This should be opponent only, if anything. It's not exceedingly unfair, and the likelihood of killing it in-theme seems low, but you should never leave open design strands when possible, unless intending support that interacts with it later on.

If anything, I'd make it a continuous spell and remove the third effect, arriving somewhere around...

Naturia Spiritual Grounds
Continuous Spell
When this card is activated: You can add 1 "Naturia" Spell/Trap card from your deck to your hand, except "Naturia Spiritual Grounds". You can target 3 "Naturia" monsters in your Graveyard; Shuffle all 3 into the Deck, then draw 1 card.

 

Name is tentative, of course, but this is a much better end product than was initially offered up.

[Yuuji Kazami]

Given that this is NOT the Duel Portal forum, it isn't exactly acceptable to say "I'm making a limited card", especially not in Advanced Cards. This is a section held to higher standards of design, in its current state, and this means you strive to make cards that do not deserve a limit. The fact that Konami pumps out power cards means nothing as an argument.

 

Moving on, the flavor doesn't make sense.

 

Firstly, Naturia already has a sacred tree, and it's associated with the Sephirot and Qliphot, concepts from Jewish mysticism. It serves as the Sephirot, while its roots are the Sephirot. As such, this just seems odd, as their sacred tree has already been classified, and it's with another set of beliefs.

 

However, those aren't even associated with the Naturia archetype, merely being called "Sacred Tree", and their leaders are Leodrake and 3/4 of the Cardinal Beasts. (Azure) Dragon, (White) Tiger, and (Black) Tortoise, with the (Vermillion) Bird never printed/shown. In-theme, it doesn't make sense for the tree to be anything except associated with Sophia/Tierra or the cardinal beasts.

 

Additionally, while it isn't playable, the deck has a field spell that would include this in its area, so... Just doesn't make sense that there is a field within a field. Being a continuous spell would make a lot more sense.

 

What you can do here is think outside the box. Ritual Beasts are a mixture of Gusto and the remnants of/spirits of the Naturia Forest... So why not make this something associated with said spirits? Sure, the art probably needs a change, but you could easily name it something along the lines of "Naturia Spiritual Grounds".

 

The real crime of this card is that you didn't adequately limit its design, and made it do way too much. 3 effects on one card with no gimmick to them isn't elegant OR a smart design avenue. In fact, "once per duel" restrictions are even worse than declaring a card limited, usually, because they mean you are intentionally overdesigning a card and justifying it with an inelegant clause, when you could simply make a more fair card.

 

So let's move on. It can search... Sacred Tree or Forest, meaning this effect isn't worthy of a once per duel restriction. IF anything, it just seems wrong that it can search itself, as design standpoint means that your cards should encourage interaction with one another, not making 3-card sets that work all as one and make other cards better. This design comes across as a S/T TGU, considering Tree is semi-generic and the hard OPD is unneeded. The second copy could just search the third, and you still managed to find tree in the first place, ala Sangan.

 

The second effect seems like you undercosted it. Return 2...? I mean, Return 3 or 4 to draw one makes a lot more sense. This is less than half the cost of the Avarice cards, acting as if it's a Scrap Recycler... But this is a spell. Just bump it up to 3 or 4, leaning to 3, because the deck itself still isn't that good. The "Once per turn," listed in this part of the effect is redundant, as well.

 

Then there's the third effect... Why does this reward you for blowing it up? This should be opponent only, if anything. It's not exceedingly unfair, and the likelihood of killing it in-theme seems low, but you should never leave open design strands when possible, unless intending support that interacts with it later on.

 

If anything, I'd make it a continuous spell and remove the third effect, arriving somewhere around...

 

Naturia Spiritual Grounds

Continuous Spell

When this card is activated: You can add 1 "Naturia" Spell/Trap card from your deck to your hand, except "Naturia Spiritual Grounds". You can target 3 "Naturia" monsters in your Graveyard; Shuffle all 3 into the Deck, then draw 1 card.

 

Name is tentative, of course, but this is a much better end product than was initially offered up.

Welp, this is what I get for taking 10> mins to make a card, and having someone else to playtest it. It was initially somewhat effective in the playtest, and Naturias weren't too overpowered with only 1 copy.

 

Thanks for the detailed info. I had forgotten the difference about the Duel Portal and Advanced forum posting rules. Also, I had initially added that Yggdrasil couldn't be searched with Yggdrasil, but it looks like I forgot to save it.

 

Will self-lock this thread.