YCM Official Creative Writing Club

[Aix]

Won't write anything this round cuz exams but I'll probably review one that catches my eye.

[Makο]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/13lPpr4j1dwjJ7OTw4O5t2wBz2ltye8yERDeRatxD0tQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

I don't know how to google doc

 

Words: 1690. Three and a half pages on OpenOffice.

 

It's hard to explain things without explaining things. Also it's hard to write good. Oops.

 

somehow there's only a tumblr post for the song I chose. not on youtube????

[Raine]

Alright, I was playing with ideas to make submission easier. Here are preferred submission methods:

 

1. Members please copy and paste and write your stories in Google Docs and submit a share URL link with permission to view-only. This will keep the club forum clean and easy to archive in the first post. 

 

2. If members have difficulty doing so, or are for whatever reason unable to do so, submitting your creative writing in typical YCM fashion of a spoiler will also be acceptable. 

 

I will add this to the first post for future reference. 

 

EDIT: Night added. Shame on you all for not telling me about that typo earlier!

[Tinkerer]

Shame on you all for not telling me about that typo earlier!

But I--

 

You know what? Forget it...

[JessicaMuddy]

I think I'm gonna have to skip out on the first task. School is starting tomorrow and I ain't got time for writing. If possible, I'll try to crank out something by 1st of Feb, but no promises.

[Maeriberii Haan]

I'll get myself to write and review soon, been in some sort of rut lately sorry.

[Raine]

I'm so sorry everyone but being the host I feel like I have to be a good example especially early on, but my own story is delayed to Monday. I good friend of mine died a few days ago in an industrial accident so it's been hard dealing with things, obligations, and this. But I want this club to do some good for everyone, I encourage everyone to submit something by Sunday or soon after so I can assign some reviews for the coming week.

 

Thank you all for joining, and I look forward to reading everyone's soon!

[Thar]

I'm so sorry everyone but being the host I feel like I have to be a good example especially early on, but my own story is delayed to Monday. I good friend of mine died a few days ago in an industrial accident so it's been hard dealing with things, obligations, and this. But I want this club to do some good for everyone, I encourage everyone to submit something by Sunday or soon after so I can assign some reviews for the coming week.

 

Thank you all for joining, and I look forward to reading everyone's soon!

 

No need to apologize. Take all the time you need.

 

Sorry for your loss. :(

[mitchermitcher]

I understand that the lack of submissions aside from Mako's may be discouraging to you as a host but worry not, I am around 700 words into mine and am finishing it today. And sorry to hear that.

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

I'm so sorry Raine. Anything I can do I'll do.

I...just haven't been able to get the right feeling.

[The Warden]

Username: Broke.N

What you want to be called: The Heart Breaker

What are your primary interests in writing: Creating, evolving my abilities as a writer, expanding my knowledge ever greater, improving myself in every way, and to entertain others with my works.

What do you like most about creative writing: Enjoyment, plain and simple. I like it when something can catch me off-guard, can make me laugh, can make me cry. I love it when I can actually feel for what I am reading.

[Makο]

either my story sucks ass, or I was just in the right mood to write

 

I mean, a lot of what I write is inspired by the music I'm listening to anyway, so

[mitchermitcher]

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VBjQOiXhuVps0CrLB_IhCKyIesylgHl-RcKHWUzrg7Y/edit?usp=sharing

 

I am DONE. Entire thing's 1750 words. Because I rushed through this yesterday and today, I wrote this without really thinking about whether it was interesting or readable or not. The last part was something I tacked on in order to add some sort of narrative to the piece but honestly I dunno if it's any good. If nothing else I had a lot of fun worldbuilding this.

[Makο]

mfw I just now realized the google doc didn't keep the link I had

 

 

...gonna... go fix that. So the song is there. For... context.

 

rip

 

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VBjQOiXhuVps0CrLB_IhCKyIesylgHl-RcKHWUzrg7Y/edit?usp=sharing

 

I am DONE. Entire thing's 1750 words. Because I rushed through this yesterday and today, I wrote this without really thinking about whether it was interesting or readable or not. The last part was something I tacked on in order to add some sort of narrative to the piece but honestly I dunno if it's any good. If nothing else I had a lot of fun worldbuilding this.

 

Ok. So, I gave your tale a once over, and all-in-all, I think I like it. There are a bunch of cliched ideas that were sometimes distracting, as well as a couple of world elements that I thought were strange, but all in all it was well constructed. I feel like it combined a bunch of other ideas I've seen elsewhere with moderate success, and could be used as the setup for something really good.

 

My biggest complaints sort of come in between the lines of the overall story. Like, how upon Eden's appearance, the world very quickly stopped fighting and decided to work together. While something of this level could eventually occur in such a situation, it's very unlikely it would happen to this sort of total degree. Also, when they reach the top, and find the button, I find it hard to believe that everyone just agrees to "press the button." I mean, sure, there's not much else you can do with that, but I can assure you that there would be waaaaay more staunch defiance against such a decision.

 

When all's said and done, tis a good story. Wasn't boring, kept my interest, neat concept; basically nails all the required categories of a short story.

 

sorry for bad cnc

[Mugendramon]

Monkey obviously goes for sci-fi, Take One

 

Reviewing will come in later because ZZZZZZZZZ

[mitchermitcher]

Monkey obviously goes for sci-fi, Take One

 

Reviewing will come in later because ZZZZZZZZZ

The Portal track you chose really fits well with the nature of the story. By itself the track is already quite suitable with how ominous and thrilling it sounds but when you consider the game it came from and the realization Trret'nar had at the end, I don't know, it feels like it fits well.

 

Story itself is short and bitter and simple(not very sweet though), doesn't take very long to get to the point. You may or may not find this to be a strong point in the writing but for me, I like that after reading it I don't feel like reading more of this. It doesn't need a continuation or a few extra pages, it's perfect as a standalone, it got its point of portraying an alien's point of view as it's hunted by a seemingly inferior civilzation(humans). I don't want to know more about the universe in the story more than what was already presented in the text. It's perfect for a short story. Sometimes I read short stories and feel they're not suited for the length, like they could've been longer, they should've been longer, and I absolutely dislike that feeling. Perhaps your stance on short stories is that they should make the reader want to read more than what was written but for me I like that this doesn't. 

 

I suppose this is more of a nitpick but I feel that you shouldn't have had Trret'nar speak a line at all. It makes him seem more human when he's not and naturally he wasn't actually speaking English, was he? The narration conveys his thoughts and feelings well enough that translating his one line “Stop, I’m begging you!” felt needless and makes him less alien. I sympathized for him plenty without that line, and it would make him more 'alien' if he never had a proper line to speak, perhaps. One more thing is that you stated him to be 'mourning' at the very beginning of the story. It's a very human emotion and while I'm by no means suggesting aliens(your version of it at least) don't feel emotions but I wished you didn't quite so outright state it. It's the sort of thing I feel adding in a few extra lines to convey it in a more subtle way would be fine. It sounds like nitpicking to me as well but I can't think of anything else to mention and it'd probably feel better to get even a slightly longer review even if it doesn't say much.

 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/13lPpr4j1dwjJ7OTw4O5t2wBz2ltye8yERDeRatxD0tQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

I don't know how to google doc

 

Words: 1690. Three and a half pages on OpenOffice.

 

It's hard to explain things without explaining things. Also it's hard to write good. Oops.

 

somehow there's only a tumblr post for the song I chose. not on youtube????

Thanks for the review! I didn't get a quote notification so I had no idea when you added that into your other post(first time I checked the review wasn't there) so maybe this is a little late in return but, yeah, here goes.

 

I suppose the most interesting thing about yours is that it kept itself relatively exciting without ever showing the battle. It's just a couple of instructors or military people commentating on the match, it allows the characters to spout a decent amount of exposition without relying on the narration and that's great. You also have very decent prose, although it's quite noticeable. I'm not sure how to say it but say, the second line in the first paragraph, it has a very pleasant flow to it but you notice that as you read. In comparison, Mugen's story I didn't pay too much to the prose(one or two choice of words aside) and sometimes one works better than the other. Your story in particular wasn't too serious so I don't think the style was out of place but it did stand out. That aside, the ending segment really nailed it btw.

 

I suppose as a weakness, the story lacks character. It also lacks actual characters(heh). I get that it's a short story and short stories focus on the idea more than the characterization and hell I'm guilty of the same thing but the commentators aren't very notable. And there's really no one else but those guys. There's the MIW and the CAN and I suppose they are the closest to being actual characters in the story, and the MIW's actually characterized quite well for a battleship institute(We get the idea that their leader's pretty reckless and thinks outside the box) but we don't actually see tihs, we only hear people talking about it. In the end it's a short story about a number of spectators commenting on something and while you did a decent job making it exciting, I dare say it's not enough.

 

On a more minor note the very first sentence had me reread it a couple times. Thought it referred to a team called Orchestrator(I am more fond of that than 'Orchestrater', it feels better imo) at first.

 

Soundtrack choice, it's a battleship yamato OST so you wrote a story about battleships. Solid choice but I don't have much to say.

 

As you all can tell I don't think too much about what I type in when I review stuff, don't take it too seriously I guess.

[Night]

I don't know how you kids can crank out 1500+ words out of your bastards like it's nothing, meanwhile I'm sitting here with 300 words after two hours of brainstorming and writing. Maybe I'm just taking this sheet too seriously, but I've never been one to half-ass anything.  

[VCR_CAT]

Username: VCR_CAT

What I would like to be called: Video Cassette Recorder _ Computer Assisted Technology

Primary Interests: Sci-Fi; but I've found myself more and more interested in stories that are more grounded in reality; modern day stuff with as few twists as possible.

What Like Most Writing About: Telling great stories is awesome, but I really like that behind those stories there's a message and feels that the writer has buried beneath the text in the dark tunnels of the Subtext; even better when these messages and feels are meant to impact people in meaningful ways.

[Makο]

I don't know how you kids can crank out 1500+ words out of your a******s like it's nothing, meanwhile I'm sitting here with 300 words after two hours of brainstorming and writing. Maybe I'm just taking this s*** too seriously, but I've never been one to half-ass anything.  

It's less about half-assing, and more about writing without fear of consequence, as I've come to realize. At least, about myself. Like, I'll come up with an idea, and rather than pouring over every fine detail, or wondering what others may interpret my work as, or fearing critical reception, I just write and write and write until an ending appears. I worry about everything else after the fact.

 

...It's also a bit of half-assing. Maybe.

[Thar]

I don't know how you kids can crank out 1500+ words out of your bastards like it's nothing, meanwhile I'm sitting here with 300 words after two hours of brainstorming and writing. Maybe I'm just taking this sheet too seriously, but I've never been one to half-ass anything.  

 

It's a lot easier than it looks. As long as you know how to describe something in detail and sequence, writing it is all a matter of getting a flow going. You should never brainstorm in the middle of writing, cause it ruins the flow. Just keep writing and make sheet up if you have to, then read it back and make changes if necessary.

[mitchermitcher]

Oh hey I remember when something like this was a thing and then died.

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

Alright I was debating if to post this and how to phrase it and where. Decided to post, wing it, and here.

 

Okay so basically I'm trying to decide what I want to write. I'm trying to start fresh with a story, and try to take my time to make sure it's good, while still doing my usual writing style of not over-planning and seeing where the story takes me.

But I don't know what to do.

It would be fantasy, of some kind. I can't do technobabble to save my life and anything else doesn't feel right. It might be serious, it might not.

I need to figure out where to set it.

 

As of now I have several worlds. There's one that includes my main countries, Celta and Tevinus.

Celta is a land ruled by a line of Emperors who have total power, many lords, and is really bad at keeping his people safe but really good at keeping the country running just well enough for him to live well.

Tevinus is a land where magic is king, the Council governs over them and your status is determined by your magical ability.

 

Then there's IFNH, which some of you know of. A land of craziness and randomness filled with hundreds of races, and the main city, Centra City, is practically a country of its own.

 

And my most recent one, Plessia , which is a darker fantasy realm tied to a world similar to Earth. They don't know of each other but are connected. I don't have a ton of info about it but some can be found in my "Make a Character" thread in Misc.

 

And I could do a totally different setting, idk.

 

I have a story for Tevinus which the first novel is complete of. I have a massive amount of story/history/characters for Celta, where I don't even know where to start.

For IFNH I got a story on-going which is at about 50,000 words

For Plessia I have a first person experiment ongoing where atm I'm drawing a blank.

 

I could continue these stories but it doesn't feel right at this moment.

So basically I'm trying to figure out what I want to do now. All I know is I want a story to focus on...And I guess I'm posting here to get this said and see if anyone here has anything to help point me in a direction.

[Raine]

Alright I was debating if to post this and how to phrase it and where. Decided to post, wing it, and here.

 

Okay so basically I'm trying to decide what I want to write. I'm trying to start fresh with a story, and try to take my time to make sure it's good, while still doing my usual writing style of not over-planning and seeing where the story takes me.

But I don't know what to do.

It would be fantasy, of some kind. I can't do technobabble to save my life and anything else doesn't feel right. It might be serious, it might not.

I need to figure out where to set it.

 

As of now I have several worlds. There's one that includes my main countries, Celta and Tevinus.

Celta is a land ruled by a line of Emperors who have total power, many lords, and is really bad at keeping his people safe but really good at keeping the country running just well enough for him to live well.

Tevinus is a land where magic is king, the Council governs over them and your status is determined by your magical ability.

 

Then there's IFNH, which some of you know of. A land of craziness and randomness filled with hundreds of races, and the main city, Centra City, is practically a country of its own.

 

And my most recent one, Plessia , which is a darker fantasy realm tied to a world similar to Earth. They don't know of each other but are connected. I don't have a ton of info about it but some can be found in my "Make a Character" thread in Misc.

 

And I could do a totally different setting, idk.

 

I have a story for Tevinus which the first novel is complete of. I have a massive amount of story/history/characters for Celta, where I don't even know where to start.

For IFNH I got a story on-going which is at about 50,000 words

For Plessia I have a first person experiment ongoing where atm I'm drawing a blank.

 

I could continue these stories but it doesn't feel right at this moment.

So basically I'm trying to figure out what I want to do now. All I know is I want a story to focus on...And I guess I'm posting here to get this said and see if anyone here has anything to help point me in a direction.

 

I'm sure you have a lot in your head, but as of what I've read. You've convince me of nothing, I am entirely unconvinced that your story is worth reading or has any quality to it. What are you trying to make? Are you just wanting to mass produce some fantasy line? What makes your story worth writing down? Why should I care? You didn't type much and I know you have more, but again, if you're going to lay down some plot for us to talk about, I couldn't give two shits about what you name your country or what type or Roman/Feudalism spin off you used.

 

Give me the reason why I'd reading your story, why is it important to you and who the characters I'm supposed to care about are? Everyone can world build a fake textbook if they try but if you're going to give so little information give us something to at least look at and say, "Yeah, I'd like to know more about that" or "That's be interesting."

 

 

 

Oh hey I remember when something like this was a thing and then died.

 

 

Since my friend passed away close to two weeks ago, I've been depressed and avoiding spending time forcing myself into labor I didn't have to. I've been feeling better, I'll see if I can get some reviews done.

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

I'm sure you have a lot in your head, but as of what I've read. You've convince me of nothing, I am entirely unconvinced that your story is worth reading or has any quality to it. What are you trying to make? Are you just wanting to mass produce some fantasy line? What makes your story worth writing down? Why should I care? You didn't type much and I know you have more, but again, if you're going to lay down some plot for us to talk about, I couldn't give two shits about what you name your country or what type or Roman/Feudalism spin off you used.

 

Give me the reason why I'd reading your story, why is it important to you and who the characters I'm supposed to care about are? Everyone can world build a fake textbook if they try but if you're going to give so little information give us something to at least look at and say, "Yeah, I'd like to know more about that" or "That's be interesting."

...Iiiii wasn't trying to convince you of anything? Not gonna lie almost closed out of tab because it sounds like you didn't understand anything I said.

And the rest of your post makes me realize I shouldn't have bothered. I didn't say anything about my words trying to get you interested, or anything like that. It wasn't intended to give a run down about what it all was about, it was to get advice on how to decide on what kind of story I want to write.

But clearly I made a mistake in asking here, thanks for showing me that much.

I don't think I want to bother with this Club right now, remove me from the member list.

 

And yes, I'm perfectly capable of handling criticism. But There when there's nothing given to critique and it's not asked for, it's just being an ass.

[Raine]

...Iiiii wasn't trying to convince you of anything? Not gonna lie almost closed out of tab because it sounds like you didn't understand anything I said.

And the rest of your post makes me realize I shouldn't have bothered. I didn't say anything about my words trying to get you interested, or anything like that. It wasn't intended to give a run down about what it all was about, it was to get advice on how to decide on what kind of story I want to write.

But clearly I made a mistake in asking here, thanks for showing me that much.

I don't think I want to bother with this Club right now, remove me from the member list.

 

And yes, I'm perfectly capable of handling criticism. But There when there's nothing given to critique and it's not asked for, it's just being an ass.

 

Yo, Cow. I'm not attacking you, I'm not even saying you were wrong to post that here, if fact I was glad you did. What I was saying is that, when you write a story, it's the story we should be interested in. The world is a function of that, you typed out names, and facts, and vague ideas for the world. But I was trying to force out of you, that I wanted to know about what you were trying to communicate rather than what you built in your head for the sake of itself. I was really not trying to be an ass, I'm harsh because I am but I never intended to insult or offend you. The kind of story you want to write is something you should be inspired on, it's never  a task, so I was trying to draw from you the story YOU wanted to draw from it rather than trying to force you to write one not of your own inspiration. I'm truly sorry if it came off that bad, it was never my intent.