Suicide

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

Since I've been having more thoughts than usual about this subject I figured might as well ask YCM on their thoughts on suicide and it's impact.

[Tentacruel]

I'm generally against it as a concept, and up until recently I never really thought about it, but a few months ago I let the solitude get to me and felt really shitty for a while, and my life isn't even that bad.  So, while I would definitely say I don't really think it's a good thing at all, I get it.  When you're feeling like that, no amount of rationalizing that it's a bad idea matters.  It's like, funk you, I'm done.

[Aerion Brightflame]

I am not as opposed to it as most people, but only because I've actually considered it as the logical outcome of where life is headed for me. 

 

However I don't think it is a decision that should be rushed into. You should definately consult at least one person on the idea, discuss it with them, wait 24 hours if you still wish to go through with it, and all the other sorts of things expected to be done to try and prevent it. 

 

It is devastating for others afterwards, but to me that's beside the point so long as the above steps have been under-taken before hand. 

 

EDIT; If nothing else I would never place the blame with the party who killed themselves; There reasons and rationalisations are probably something we won't fully understand,  

[Andx]

If you're having suicidal thoughts or even dwelling on the subject more often than usual I'd say you need help. One of the most powerful drives of humans is the preservation of their own life. Something has to be fundamentally wrong with your life or at the least something you feel absolutely helpless to change in order to feel like ending it would be better.

 

If I wasn't super clear I don't like the idea much at all and wouldn't ever want anyone to do it. I've been depressed. Never quite suicidal but still. Things can and do change and I like to stick by that belief rather than give up.

[Yui]

Don't.  I'm just saying, don't.  Dunno if you're considering doing it, but absolutely under no circumstances do not.  You'd be doing exponentially more harm than good.

 

I'm rather against the concept of suicide unless the one doing the deed is legitimately, literally, and 100% better off not staying alive.  And out of the 7,000,000,000+ people on this planet, I refuse to believe a single one exists who meets those criteria, as part of "legitimately, literally, and 100%" includes having absolutely nobody who would mourn their loss, and everybody has somebody who would mourn.  You especially around here; me and Aix in particular, I'd imagine (for differing reasons; no homo).

 

I've been up, down, left, right, slanted, crooked, stretched, compressed, twisted, straightened out, and spun into circles, and have seen and heard quite a few things in the last few years.  And none would be as upsetting as hearing Saint frigging CowCow is no more.  I typically like to leave y'all to sort out your own stuff so that I don't seem invasive, but if you're legitimately contemplating suicide, I may have to cast aside my usual policies.

[Simping For Hina]

I repeat my own troubles with suicide and the fact that I literally stopped trying to commit suicide because I was really bad at accomplishing it, and failed 5 times to do so. That is really the only reason I stopped trying, but I am happy that I did stop or else I would never get to where I am now. I am honestly the happiest I have been in my life and I keep getting happier. There is no reason for me to be sad, and I have no regrets with anything in my life as I have moved on from them or I have at least mended what I have done wrong.

 

It is a tragedy when anyone does commit suicide, and it always comes when someone is at their lowest point in life. They have no chance to grow from it afterwards, and that is terrifying. You never know who is going to commit suicide, and you can never tell. That is also terrifying. There are signs, but those signs mean a lot of different things for everyone.

[Susie]

when i was battling my anger issues and depression i had once or twice thought about suicide but i never did it because even then i thought it was an incredibly foolish thing to do. suicide doesnt allow you to be free all it does is let your pain swallow you whole, the true way to relieve the pain is to conquer it.

[Tentacruel]

Cowcow, get yourself an alias m8 I didn't recognize you.

 

But yeah, guys, while I 100% agree with you it's sometimes a little more complicated.

 

The analogy I like is drunk driving.  It's stupid, I know it's stupid, you know it's stupid.  Yet, after a few beers you start to give less of a funk.  Similarly, when you're feeling really depressed, logic kinda goes out the window.  It sucks.

 

But CowCow, I'll pray for you.  I think the most important thing is to not get shut off from people IMHO.  We got your back.

[Draconus297]

Okay, rant time.

 

When it comes to death, there are very few people you could talk to- especially my age- that have as much experience with it as I do. I have attended 22 funerals, all of which were people I cared about in one way or another. I'm one cold jerk, but believe me when I say I wasn't always this way.

 

Anyway, regarding suicide in particular, it's just something that many people are against without questioning why.

 

I have the why.

 

I have been there- there was a time when I did attempt suicide, and I was only stopped because someone walked into the restroom at just the right time. It wasn't the therapy that helped- believe me when I say that most people in the profession of psychotherapy are operating off guesswork- it was one really simple realization. There is absolutely nothing more inherently selfish than ending your life. You dying goes beyond just putting your family and/or friends in mourning (or not, if you seriously believe that no one will care), it hits something deeper. One, funeral costs are expensive as funk, so you'll probably funk over your family and/or friends financially for months. Two, everything that needed you to function- your social group, any pets you have, your workplace- will have to change suddenly, and in many cases people you thought would never care wind up showing they have just enough of a heart to be broken. Three, and I know this sounds surprisingly spiritual from a self-professed atheist, but you might not be ending whatever pain you're in simply by offing yourself. We have no idea what happens after death, so any straightforward advice I could give you there would be a boldface lie, but in my professional opinion you want to stick with a known quantity of evil rather than risk getting yourself into something deeper.

 

It's for reasons like these that I've talked three separate people down from suicide in the past, and I sincerely hope that I reach you, as well.

 

After all, what would the world be without Lord CowCow?

[TheWhiteWizard]

sucide has terrible affects on the people you leave behind, my mother commited sucide when i was three and up until I moved into my current house I had been making people my motherly figure (Don't Judge). I always wished I could get my mother back and I prayed and prayed. After a while I just began to feel hate and anger at her for leaving her children behind asking if we weren't good enough for her, and I have mixed feelings about her, were i miss her but I hate. Moral of the story, sucide has more effects then ending your own life, it hurts everyone else and they have to live on with that pain.

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

@Tenta: Now he has one.

 

Anyway, I'm generally against the subject of suicide on the grounds that there are ways to get over depression and other negative thoughts without resorting to killing yourself.

Granted, I haven't had people close to me decide to pull the trigger on their own lives, so there's that. I have had extreme emotions at certain points, but not to the point where I'd consider killing myself.

 

There is a breaking point where no amount of talking will stop you from going over the edge, yes, though I'd like to think of suicide as a last-ditch resort if all other options are exhausted. Most of the time, there should be at least one option left.

 

Indeed, suicide will leave a mark on a lot of those you care about, but others might see it as the coward's way out of certain matters (mostly in cases where one would go on a rampage).

 

-------

On that note, if someone close to you is having these sort of thoughts, encourage them to think the other way and determine other options to resolve their problems besides killing themselves.

[Makο]

At the deepest, darkest points of depression, suicide looks like the most attractive thing in the world. Romantic, almost, depending on the person. To some, it's a means of escape. You feel cornered, unwanted, unloved, terrified, and just want to go. If "going" means taking your own life, than so be it.

 

To others, it's a way to stick it to the world. You feel wronged by those around you. Neglected, unloved, unwanted, whatever it may be. So you think, "Suicide'll do the trick. I'll end my own life prematurely, and then they'll realize. They'll know the wrong they've done, and they'll feel regret. A regret that will never leave them."

 

In either case, it's a terrible thing. But the thoughts, in the heat of the moment, are almost intoxicating, and can be difficult to escape was entrapped. Hope that you never find yourself in such a situation.

 

Of course, this is all based off of my experiences, but... I think it can be a least a little relatable.

[Ryusei the Morning Star]

Don't take what you can't give back. Which includes your own life

[Flame Dragon]

Until recently I couldn't understand what someone could be going through when they have depression. Honestly, I still really can't, but since I finished college I've been in a funk. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself without school so and I know my mind has developed more cracks in it than it normally has (so to speak). I don't know if I was/am depressed, but its certainly been a pretty crappy 7 months at times even if the worse of it was towards the start. I am reasonably certain though that what I've been going through is only an iota of what a lot people go through when they do have depression and my heart seriously goes out to them. Always remember you are worth it. Someone, somewhere cares about you. Its impossible to go through life without making that connection with someone. If your ever feeling like going through with it, talk to someone. Always speak up and look for help because you will find it. Life is inherently valuable and something that should be protected and shared. No matter how bad things may seems you'll always be able to find something to enjoy in the here and now and things will get better, even if it might not seem like it right now.

[Azure Wolf]

I have considered it, but just ended up not really counting it as a valid option. It doesn't help and will just cause more suffering. If you are going to die anyway, from disease or something and you don't have long then it is an option as long as you are in your right mind, but otherwise it is just stupid. Can't really think what to say about it but my brother did do a nice post on Facebook about it.

 

 

I've been thinking this for a while now and have finally decided to say it before I forget again.

You may or may not know that until earlier this year I was dealing with serious depression. There were some points where I had suicidal thoughts daily. But I managed to get past my problems, and want to get a message out to anyone reading this how feels life isn't worth living or anyone you know who you think is suffering from depression.

Find a dream.
I spent five years of my life just going along with what people told me I was good at, I never thought for a moment what I myself wanted to do with my life, so I just followed suggestions and blindly moved forward day by day.
It was when I finally got to a stage where I truly believe I was at breaking point that I realized what I was missing. When I actually thought about what I wanted to do and realized that it wasn't impossible, it turned my life around. I found my dream.
It doesn't matter if it doesn't seem like something you'd be good at, you can always get better. It doesn't matter if other people think you should be doing something else, it's YOUR dream and anyone who really cares about you will support you in it.
Just make sure you're doing what you want to in life, don't go ahead with what people tell you you should do and spend you're life in a place you don't want to be.
Find a dream.
That's all it might take to make your life worth living again.

[Astolfo]

Don't do it. Don't even think about doing it.
Because so many people care about you, and they would all miss you.
You have tons of friends that would support you.

So if you want help or emotional support, talk to them.
Talk to us. Talk to me. Please. Talk to someone.
Things might seem bleak, but I refuse to believe that it can't get better, whether it just happens by chance, or you work with people that care about you to make it happen. It's not going to be over until you damn let it be, and I refuse to believe you're someone who's just going to go out like that and leave behind everyone that cares about you so so so much.
That's bullshit, and you know, I know, we all know, that's not the Cowcow we know.
So don't you dare do something as stupid as that.

Going along with Misagi said, think of the good things in your life.
If you can't, find something. If you can't find one, MAKE IT HAPPEN.

LIVE TO MAKE SOMETHING GOOD HAPPEN FOR YOURSELF, AND YOU CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN.

I know you can do it. You're not the kind of person to give up on something as important as your own life.

It's okay to be depressed, everyone can get in a funk at times, and it can get really bad at times.

But it is never ever hopeless.

 

Why?
Because we're all here for you.

[Kyng]

There's always someone worse off than you, who would happily trade places with you, more often than not. Unless you've truly hit rock bottom, where your basic needs aren't being met, I don't see any just reason to contemplate suicide.

[Dad]

Forgive me if this is long winded, because I'm on the verge of tears.  I'll do my best not to make this about me, but only because I believe I can relate.  I'm not gonna call you Cowcow.  I'm gonna call you Ryan, and I hope that you can forgive me for being personal, but only because I care about you.

 

Ryan, I have been there.  It wasn't long ago I told YCM that I was plotting my own suicide.  I've been there, and I just couldn't go through with it.  The gun was to my temple, the bullet was loaded but I never pulled the trigger.  I was on the edge of leaving my mother and the rest of my family in the greatest pain imaginable.  Whether its jumping off a bridge, overdosing, or blowing your brains out, no one should have to bury their child.  I lost my grandmother and that only further drove me to the edge, but I couldn't do it.  And Ryan, I can't say I know what you're going through, why you're contemplating this, or even why the thought has crossed your mind but I can assure you that someone, somewhere, on this planet loves you enough to tell you that they would struggle for the rest of their lives without you.  

 

I'm sure you've been through something to have these thoughts run into your mind.  But I don't think it can over come you.  I don't look down on suicide.  I believe it takes a broken will, a shattered heart, and a crushed mind to go through with it.  You wouldn't be a coward, you wouldn't be a wimp.  But you would be dearly missed.  Your presence makes someone's day.  Your spirit brightens someone's view.  And I can vouch for that because I shouldn't be at my funking computer crying thinking I'm about to lose someone else.  I can't stop you Ryan.  But I can tell you that, for being probably hundreds of miles away, you became a friend of mine.  And I don't know how many more friends I can lose without breaking.

 

People say "I love you" when they talk to their parents, their boyfriends or girlfriends, or their children.  But Ryan you're my friend.  And I love you.  As a human being, as Cowcow, as Ryan, I love my friend.  And I can't even begin to tell you how devastated I am just looking at the title of this thread.

[Tourmaline]

I don't think you should do it. I'm not against suicide in particular, but you know you can at least do something with yourself and you're way too righteous to actually find happiness in death (admittedly more of a neutral than anything). If you can withstand depression now you'll be stronger for the rest of your life anyway. That's what it is, and to be honest it would so not be you to let sadness kill you off.

[mitchermitcher]

Don't really know you that well Cowcow, but the people of this forum cares about you, if nothing else. They care, a lot. Just the Hi I'm Dad guy alone made an excellent post already. People will care if you kick the bucket, even if its only across the computer screen.

 

Life is precious. Once you die, it's over. You WILL die eventually, so don't make your time even shorter. You may feel like life isn't worth living anymore and that nothing will change so you might as well die. That's not true. Whether you try or not, you will meet new people as you live through your life, and they all have a chance of brightening your life, just as much as you have a chance of brightening theirs. And if you try to reach out when you're becoming suicidal, then people will be more than glad to help. Maybe their sentiments aren't real and they're only helping to make themselves look better or because they don't want to be confronted about the reality of their short lives themselves, they will still help you. And they will feel something if they failed and you die.

 

I've seriously contemplated suicide only once, and that was after the first day of college, which was like a little over a month ago. A night of sleep(and more than a bit of consultation from my parents, god bless them) allowed me to get over it but I still hate myself for ever being that vulnerable in the first place. Suicide is wrong, I believe, as long as there's even the slightest will to live. Most people who jump off bridges regret it half-ways down, or so I hear. There's really never a case where someone doesn't have the will to live, even if they feel that way. I say this not based off any facts or statistics, but because I want to believe in the inner goodness inside everyone. Your life might be sheet, and it might not ever improve until the day you die, but I think it's more beautiful to see someone endure it until the very end, instead of killing themselves.

 

In the end, you can either live with it, meet new people, help new people, be helped by new people, and as you lie on your deathbed you can look back at your life with pride, regardless of how much you've actually accomplished. Or you can kill yourself right now, all alone, while you're still in your prime(I assume), and make the people close to you suffer.

 

If you do decide to suicide after all that then, I'm glad I've known you, even if as little as I do.

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

Ah, um, wow. Thanks for the kind words everyone, um, I could say a lot but thanks is all I'll say and leave it at that. Kinda drained of emotion in a good way right now.

Honestly I made this with the main intent of talking about it in general but, yeah, it's not like I haven't been obviously upset lately and...yeah.

 

Anyway just letting everyone know not to worry, things will be alright. Struggles and stuff will continue but it shouldn't get to...that level now.

['tyleR]

On January 9th last year my grandfather, whom I gave the name Pop when I was young, committed suicide.  He drove his van to his favorite park, he busted the window so police would look throughout the park for other evidence of burglary, and sat down on his favorite bench overlooking the small pond, and shot himself with his almost unknown about shotgun.  I was out smoking pot with my friend at 1 in the morning and get a call from my mom.  Through wheezing & raspy voice, uncontrollably crying, she managed to get out "Tyler, Pop is dead."  When I asked what happened, almost numbly, she refused to answer at first, but after prodding and more near unintelligible words, she said "He shot himself, Tyler."  

 

From that point on, the next year was living hell for my family and I.  My mom especially.  While I drowned my sorrows and numbed myself with lots of drugs and doing absolutely stupid hoodrat sheet, stealing and pillaging and robbing and fighting, my mom was at home breaking down every hour, having night terrors where she visualized his death, sometimes screaming at the top of her lungs begging for him to come back.  My grandmother, named Mena by me, was/is numb from the whole thing.  She cried, obviously, as most people did when they found out Pop died, but it was almost like crocodile tears.  Not sobbing or weeping, randomly just a couple tears.  I didn't attend the funeral, which to this day makes me sick, because I didn't want to be reminded that exactly a month before his death he gave me a great gift for my 20th birthday & told me we should go have dinner in a couple weeks like we used too when I was younger.  I said yes, but never actually called him, nor attended family events on that side of the family.  He was a very religious man, much of that side of the family was, and I always felt judged by them because of my obvious differences.  I was wrong in thinking that, and because I never called him and never attended the funeral, I have a heavy heart that I KNOW most people don't have.  I bear a grief that many will never, hopefully, feel.  My mom did not stop crying audibly every night until about March of this year.  She sometimes finds things about him, or sees something that reminds her of him, and she breaks again.

 

Just a month ago my mom found something that my sister wrote for school, my sister was 9 at the time.  It basically said that even though my family didn't tell her the actual cause of death, and blamed it on his health to shield her from the trauma, she knew in her heart that it was something a lot more.  She said she thinks about him every day and wonders if she will ever actually know what really happened.  My mom showed it to me, and not even halfway through reading this paper of only about 6 or 7 sentences max, broke down.  I had to console my mom again, like I did many nights when she would wake up on the couch having a panic attack and I'd be the only one up.  She sobbed, made my shirt terribly wet, and couldn't stop saying "I miss Poppy so much" & "Why did he do that to himself."

 

I could go on for hours and pages about how this affected everyone in my family & family friends in such a traumatic way.  My brother even started rapping, which he's quite good at I might add, and named himself the Moody Militia, after my Pop's last name, which was Moody.  He was a man no one would ever have expected to do such a thing.  Religious almost to a fault, gracious & loving, intelligent, an amazingly hard working man.  Literally the definition of never saw it coming.

 

 

I implore anyone who ever thinks about suicide to not hold in your thoughts, reach out too someone.  Please.  I am actually begging you.  This may seem like it will be the only thing to heal your heart and end your pain, but it isn't.  In doing so, you may end your pain, but you impact everyone around you who loves you in a way that you can never, ever imagine.  It is the worst feeling I've ever experienced.  It is the worst I probably ever will experience.  And if you know anyone you think may be thinking this way, do NOT hesitate to reach out to them, and help them, and care for them, in any way you possibly can.  Not only will you save their life, you will save everyone who loves them from unbearable pain.

 

Okay, I'm crying now.  Peace.