wording problems

[avariademon]

i need to make this wording right, im not TO concerned whether his effect is overpowered or not, and if it is tell me how i can fix it and i might just do so ANY how this card is based off of a charicter of mine his effect comes dirrectly from the effect of the charicter

 

Avaria, Rouge Demon

Dark(atribute),Thunder(type),5(stars),1900(atk),1300(def)

when this monster card is destroyed pay 500 Life Points, then return this monster to your side of the field. You may tribute this monster to destroy one Face-Up Monster on your opponents side of the feild.

 

i was trying to make his effect as ballenced as posible while keeping to the theme of contunious revival, i would have liked to make him 2k or higher but i wasent sure that would be ok in addition his effect only costs 500 problem im having with that is 500 seems to little but 1000 seems to much im a little split. would he be ballenced if i incresed his atk to 2200 and increased his life pay effect to 1000 (remember his effect is not opptional you HAVE to pay it unless he is returned to your hand or the top of the deck) i also would kind of like to make it so his effect activates even if removed from play, but im not sure if that is TO overpowered or yeah... and i realise the destruction effect might be a bit overpowered but it activates his first effect basically destroy a face up monster for whatever life points, if i increase the life points it makes it more expensive... but again im not sure if its to broken or not... any how help on wording is my main concern.

[Umbra]

Umbra Style

 

Avaria - Rogue Demon

DARK

Thunder

5 / 1900 / 1300

When this card is destroyed, pay 500 Life Points and Special Summon this card to your side of the field. You can Tribute this card to destroy 1 face-up monster on your opponent's side of the field.

 

The card is balanced as it is, since you have to keep paying and summoning it, over and over again.

[avariademon]

ok thanks

[ender4449]

Umbra Style

 

Avaria - Rogue Demon

DARK

Thunder

5 / 1900 / 1300

When this card is destroyed' date=' pay 500 Life Points and Special Summon this card to your side of the field. You can Tribute this card to destroy 1 face-up monster on your opponent's side of the field.

 

The card is balanced as it is, since you have to keep paying and summoning it, over and over again.

[/quote']

 

yeah that about sums it up and since its only face up monsters at risk that balances it

 

but you could have 8 stars 2200 ATK 1800 DEF and 1000 for the cost

 

oh and when can we see the whole card??

[avariademon]

you know i just realised something, one i really dont want his second ability to be a one time use, its supposed to be you send him to the grave to destroy a monster the dilema that im haveing is his first effect states destroyed and his second effect states tribute, the problem is the second effect if activated would not activate the first effect (which was what i was going for in the first play) we could make the first effect send instead of destroyed but the problem there is that then you could tribute him easily and i dont want him to be broken, then i thought he cant be tributed for a tribute summon, then cannon solder came to mind, thats to much after that i thought cant be tributed at all, that defeats the purpose of his second effect.

 

so we could 1. make his first ability say sent to the grave (screw out of play its fine if removing gets rid of him) add in he cannot be tributed exept be his own effect (or however that is worded), or 2. reword the second effect so it destroyes him rather then you tribute him, i think the second idea is a bit better.

 

it may make him a little more unballenced but theres really no point in having an exiled force ability on this monster if thats what was going to happen i would just get rid of the second ability and work with something else

 

in addition i already have the entire card set up art included (please if you see it dont insult the art because I did draw it, i will probably replace it with something better, when i learn how to draw better.) so as soon as the ability gets sorted out he will be ready to post... this is probably not going to be the last time i ask for wording advice on a card like this.

[ender4449]

i say go with the first one

[avariademon]

ok i went with the first one if there are any wording problems please tell me and i will fix it this is Avaria, Rouge Demon Ver.1

 

[ender4449]

ok now i get the general picture and idea