Austin 3:14 says “I just calculated your circumference”

[Just Crouton]

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Whereas “Austin 3:16″ remains synonymous with ass-whupping among wrestling fans worldwide, few are familiar with the relatively obscure “Austin 3:14″ verse, which refers to the “whupping” (or calculating) of a circle’s circumference in relation to its radius.

 

Legendary pro wrestler “Stone Cold” Steve Austin almost never mentions the Austin 3:14 verse, even though it, more than any other verse in the Book of Austin, refers directly to the concept of a “squared circle.”

 

As one of the lesser-known books of the Bible, the Book of Austin contains a number chapters and verses that have failed to gain the same widespread popularity as the 16th verse of the third chapter.

 

Theologian and biblical scholar Mordecai Thorn, however, has uncovered a trove of historically overlooked phrases from the Book of Austin, including:

 

• Austin 6:19 — “I just whupped your little luchador.”
• Austin 9:99 — “I just subscribed to your network.”
• Austin 4:20 — “I’m just gonna sit here with some Doritos and chill for a while.”

 

It is believed that Steve Austin rarely utters the Austin 3:14 verse because once he gets started, he typically ends up reciting an infinite number of decimal places, and the audience quickly grows tired of chanting “WHAT?!”

[宇佐見 蓮子@C94]

 

• Austin 4:20 — “I’m just gonna sit here with some Doritos and chill for a while.

i do believe this is the code Rob Van Dam lives by

[Thar]

• Austin 3:69 - "I made all these bitches crawl from the window to the wall."
• Austin 3:60 - "I no-scoped your ass after making a full turn."
• Austin 3:65 - "I whip your ass every day of the year."
• Austin 6:66 - "I whipped Satan's ass."
• Austin 1:01 - "I taught you a basic lesson on whipping ass."