15 Things That Introverts Would Never Tell You

[Just Crouton]

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Introverts catch a lot of s*** for being introverted. The whole world seems so enamored by extroverts – the people we know who just want to be around people all the time. While we introverts might not want that, it doesn’t mean we’re depressed or suicidal or anything wacky like that. There are some things you should know about us.

 

1. Small talk sucks.

We’re just not very good at it. We’re typically the big-thinking types. We like big ideas and theories. Small talk is uncomfortable. We don’t care about the weather or how your cat has been doing.

 

2. Being alone is fine.

Seriously, we’re doing okay, even if we hole up in our houses for a while. We don’t need other people for stimulation. We find that ourselves.

 

3. We aren’t rude or uptight.

We might seem like that at first, but get to know us. We’re still a fun bunch of friends, we just don’t always acclimate to unfamiliar settings and people so quickly.

 

4. Sometimes, we swing both ways.

We might be introverts, but sometimes we are just so the life of the party. We do this willingly when we’re up to it, but we can’t always keep that kind of energy going. If we throw a party, great! But give us some time to recover.

 

5. We have friends. And they like us! Probably.

People hear the word ‘introvert’ and think of the goth kid sitting alone at the food court. That’s a whole different thing entirely. We love having friends, and our friends love having us! We put in a conscious effort for people we think are worth it.

 

6. When with the right people, we feel safe.

Having the right people in our lives is amazing. we really give our best selves to the best people. We shine in the right company. But sometimes it takes a while to find those people.

 

7. We like to write things out.

Writing is easier than talking for us sometimes. Email is the best because it helps us get the thoughts out of our heads without being interrupted. Thinking about giving us a call? Try a text or email instead.

 

8. We’re super productive.

Sometimes at least. Usually in our alone time, we’re able to really rock and roll on projects that we need to finish. The solitude helps us, as we tend to be a bit more distractible than most.

 

9. If we don’t like you, you won’t know it.

It’s the truth of the matter. We hate conflict. So even if we don’t like you, we’ll still be nice. It’s a lot easier than being real with you. Especially if your feelings are inconsequential enough that confronting you on your bullshit isn’t even worth the time. Sorry. Well, not sorry.

 

10. Networking events suck.

Seriously. Is there a mailing list we need to opt out of? There are few things more uncomfortable than a networking party. Except maybe a dentist’s networking party that we’ve just been accidentally invited to.

 

11. We don’t like crowds.

Though I find that after a few beers, I can tolerate it. Introverts tend to get overstimulated easily, so big crowds aare tough to deal with.

 

12. Sorry, we probably weren’t listening to your story.

We care deeply about our friends, but people outside of that circle will have a tough time maintaining our attention. It’s not that we have ADD or anything like that, we just don’t really care about you. On the plus side, we won’t judge you, so feel free to tell us all the f***ed up things you said to your ex.

 

13. Don’t make a fuss out of our birthdays.

For the longest time, I had a great deal of difficulty understanding why I hated my birthday so much. Everyone I ever knew would come out and party with me! But then I realized: that’s the problem! We don’t need to make a fuss out of our birthdays, so please don’t do it to us.

 

14. We don’t want to make a fuss out of your birthday.

We can quietly honor the annual birthday, right?

 

15. If we’ve chosen to be friends with you, appreciate it.

We value our alone time. If we see you often, it means that we really love you. Just don’t get too bummed out when we don’t hang for a week at a time sometimes.

[evilfusion]

Sounds about right. At least 3/4 of those describe me well enough.

[Simping For Hina]

I think that small talk is scary for most people.

[evilfusion]

I think that small talk is scary for most people.

 

Perhaps, but I find that small talk, at least for me, but some introverts may agree, is simply a chore. A tedious, rarely beneficial social chore.

 

Very rarely is important information exchanged. You're unlikely to bond with the other person. It's awkward and clumsy. It's difficult to even think of questions or comments to make to keep the small talk going, and depending on your familiarity with the other person, you probably don't want to share much information in the first place, but feel obligated to be polite.

 

It's not scary so much as something so unnecessary and uncomfortable that you'd be better not to waste your energy doing it at all.

[Agro]

People still do these stupid "introvert"/"extrovert" lists that don't really do anything?

[Thar]

Everything except 8, 12, and 15 are true about me.

 

I think that small talk is scary for most people.

 

I'm not so much intimidated by it as I am bored of it.

 

Just go up to someone and say "hey, did you know that greenhouse gases are responsible for the sunset?"

[Fusion X. Denver]

Introverts are usually super-productive?

Well don't I feel gipped.

 

1, 2, 5, 6, 9, 10 and 15 sum me up pretty well. Especially 15, because I really do love my friends, even if I haven't hit you up in a few months or got back to you really late about that text/PM/etc.

[Rodrigo]

That's me in a nutshell. All of them fit my personality.

[Night]

This doesn't describe introverts, it just describes people in general. 

 

I'll let you in on some secrets us "extroverts" have been hiding from you "introverts" for years:

 

1. "Small talk sucks." We're aware. No one likes small talk, do you actually think there's someone in the world who really gives a fuck about the current weather. No one does, but "small talk" is an integral part of developing conversation. I love discussion regarding broad topics like philosophy or shit that I personally find interesting like graphic design. I'm not however going to walk up to a random person on the street and start talking about typography or whether abortion is wrong.  

 

2. "Being alone is fine." No shit. 

 

3. "We aren't rude or uptight." Yeah, we don't think that. There are people in the world who are considered to be "shy," no idea if you've ever heard that term before but it basically just describes people who need more acclimation in most scenarios before they open up completely. It's easy to see how you could confuse shy with rude though. They're practically synonyms. /sarcasm

 

4. "We swing both ways." Again, I'm considered an "extrovert" by 3 different personality quizzes. I too "swing both ways," I'm not constantly social, I too need to be alone at times. So introverts can be extroverted at times, and extroverts can be introverted? Wow, it's almost like it's all the same shit. 

 

5. "We have friends too." No fucking way, I would have never guessed. 

 

I could go on, but you probably get the gist of it. It's all bullshit. 

 

You're not a title, you're just a human with tendencies, don't let them define you. 

[Shradow]

Yeah, I'd say those apply to a lot of people.

[LordCowCowCowCowCowCowCowCow]

4. Sometimes, we swing both ways.

Must. Not. Make. Obvious. Joke.

 

Anyway, from what I read there are, like everyone here, things that I relate to.

However with a list that's fairly vague and large like this it's kinda a given. I'm sure these are more common among introverts, but they seem to be fairly typical human reactions in many ways.

Night said it better as always.

[Agro]

I'm surprised it took until Night for everyone to see the obvious.

[Slinky]

All of these pretty much describe me.

Except #9. I love conflict (not actually participating in it, though I will be the first one to jump in if there is something that actually needs to be said). I just find it oh so absolutely amusing.

Other than that part, the rest of #9 applies to me pretty well.

[.Rai]

A few of these make introverts look like proper dicks.

I mean, these range from obvious and applicable to everyone, to overly generalised, to irrelevant. Quite a few apply to me, but I doubt it's because my tendency to introversion defines me and my character.

Night sums it up best of course.

[.Rooster]

Introverts are also pretty good at making friends, just that they don't appreciate fakers.

[Blake]

Completely disagree with 2/13/14.