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CM Punk transitions from pro wrestling to fake sport


Just Crouton

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The internet is abuzz today after former WWE Superstar CM Punk announced he is transitioning from the respectable, competitive sport of professional wrestling to the choreographed, circus-like spectacle of mixed martial arts.

 

Punk, who earned his fame as a legitimate fighter in World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), said he is looking forward to entertaining fans in the cartoonish pseudo-sport of Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC).

 

“I have a background in kempo and I’ve been doing Brazilian jiu-jitsu for a long time,” said Punk, adding that his background in improv comedy and Shakespearean drama will also serve him well in UFC.

 

“Pro wrestling taught me how to fight,” he added, “but now I’m keen to learn the showbiz side of sports entertainment.”

 

Punk is expected to become UFC champion before January, unless he walks out of the company first, which is widely believed to be inevitable.

 

By February, Punk is expected to be a mainstay on the national spelling bee circuit.

 

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I await Punk's promo involving a man wearing a mask for no reason.

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