Just Crouton Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 Does not apply if your name is MD Geist, Riki-Oh, Crying Freeman, Bean Bandit, Grey, Spike Spiegal, Mugen, Shunsuke Sengoku, Makoto Ito, or anyone from the Gundam universe not-named Kira Yamato. 1. You must be an eternally chaste block of wood that only exists to push the story forward In anime, it's more important to be admirable than to be a person, for some reason. Everyone else gets to be cool, because anime. Your job is to preach the eternal goodness of friendship, and to beat the lead villains. 2. You must resolve everything by asserting your courage, and your need to protect your loved ones Who needs brains to overcome adversity? You're in an anime. Just power up! You can never lose because you have friendship, except when a new villain appears, which in that case, you just need more friendship! 3. You must not have any moral conflicts that can't be resolved by referring to #2 After all, you only exist to push the story forward. Serious moral conflicts would make you interesting, and you can't have that! You're an anime for crying out loud! 4. You must have at least two flaws One flaw is to advance major story scenes, the other is for the shoehorned (keyword) "comedic" scenes. 5. A female will fall in love with you, even if it comes out of left field, and you must ignore her feelings* What? Some girls like wood. But, you don't have time for love, because romance would make you interesting. You have to push the story forward! Until the epilogue when you can bang her all you want. *(Possibly) ignore if you're in a romance anime. ___________________________________________________________ And, now you have the basics to become an anime. Remember your friendships, ignore your forced love interests, and grasp ZA HONOO NO COURAGE-SU! After 100 episodes of recycled filler, beach episodes, and the hot springs episodes, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goddamnit names are a pain Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 This is so simple that everyone should know it already. Where can I pick up a copy of the intermediate or advanced edition? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Crouton Posted November 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 This is so simple that everyone should know it already. Where can I pick up a copy of the intermediate or advanced edition? The company was shut down for malpractice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goddamnit names are a pain Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 Can you guide me to the nearest black-market to pick up a copy of the forbidden texts, oh wise one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Crouton Posted November 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 Can you guide me to the nearest black-market to pick up a copy of the forbidden texts, oh wise one? Over in Surrealton, where they're filming the movie adaption of this guide on a budget of 25 water drops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slinky Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maeriberii Haan Posted November 29, 2014 Report Share Posted November 29, 2014 ew makoto ito anyway, needs more mention of Chirico Cuvie in the OP as an exception. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.