[Finished] DT Retrain Contest

[Darj]

I'm curious to know which monsters would you choose and retrain from the DT World, so here I am hosting this contest.

 

Requirement

Make a retrained, Synchro or Xyz version of a monster from the Duel Terminal World. The monster must have generic Summoning requirements AND effect(s). Look at Exciton Knight, Cairngorgon or Leo, the Keeper of the Sacred Tree as examples. Also include a backstory for the card.

 

Deadline

September 8th.

 

Rules[spoiler=]1. Regular YCM Rules apply.

 

2. The card must be a Synchro or Xyz monster based on a monster from the DT World.

2.1 You can pick monsters from any time in the storyline.

2.2 You cannot pick a monster that has 2 or more official versions/incarnations. (e.g. Trishula, Exciton Knight, Leodrake).

2.3 It must have a generic summoning requirements (e.g. Xyz: 2 Level X monsters, Synchro: 1 Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters)

2.4 It must have a generic effect(s) (doesn't need a monster with X name/attribute/type to activate, etc.)

 

3. When posting the card, include a short paragraph explaining or describing the card's backstory: what happened to the original monster, where is it now in the storyline (if applicable), etc. Following the DT storyline is not mandatory: you can take advantage of the world resets that Sophia performed to create cards from other parallel universes (e.g. in a parallel universe, X monster encountered with Y and became this) or gaps in the storyline (e.g. while X and Y tribes were fighting, something happened to Z monster), or make up a couple of things (e.g. Not all members of X archetype were eliminated, and one of them evolved through the time).

 

4. Entries must be your own.

 

5. Write the card text under the card so it will be easier to read.

 

6. Since it is sometimes difficult to find fanart of evolved/upgraded versions of specific DT monsters, you are allowed to use fanarts of that monster as artwork, or submit a Written Card. When submitting written cards you have to include a short description of the artwork or appearance of the monster (how does it looks like, what changed compared to the original monster, etc.)

 

7. Check over your card before submitting it (OCG/grammar, card stats/effect), or you may get less points if it has a lot of mistakes.

 

8. Use official card Types and Attributes, and avoid awkward ATK/DEF values like XX30 or XX10.[/spoiler]

 

Entry fee: 50 points (will go to the pot)

 

Prizes

1st -  50% of the pot + 1 rep

2nd - 30% of the pot

3rd - 15% of the pot

 

Pot: 3960

(Donations accepted; thanks to Aix, Aqua, Crossroad and WizCC for your donations)

 

Participants

1. Giga

2. Nai (Ain)

3. Dramatic Crossroad

4. Aix

5. Bringerofcake

6. Batmed

7. Aqua

8. WizCC

 

Judges

1.Voltex

 

Accepting up to 2 judges. If you are interested, PM me your grading criteria. You must have passed the Judge Exam.

 

Grading Criteria

In this contest in particular, Creativity is the most important aspect of the card: Choosing a DT monster and giving it a generic effect doesn't involve as much thought as coming up with a backstory of the card: explaining what happened to the original monster, describing its hypothetical place in the DT storyline, etc.; and thus the participant should be rewarded for the latter. Therefore, the majority of points will be destined to Creativity, and the backstory you write for the card will be heavily considered for the Creativity criteria.

 

Voltex [50][spoiler=]Balance/Design [15] - The card doesn't have a too powerful effect, it effectively supports most decks as a generic card, suitable ATK/DEF for its Level/Rank and # of materials required, etc.

Creativity/Flavor[20] - The effect is unique, and most importantly, the card's backstory.

OCG [10] - Few or no mistakes in spelling and official card grammar.

Theme [5] - Follow the requirements of the card (generic, based on a DT monster, etc.)

 

Bonus [5]

[3] - Extraordinary backstory: Write an entertaining and/or detailed backstory, or go as far as to write a short story.

[2] - The card and/or its effect somehow makes a reference to the original monster (e.g. pick an Effect Monster and retrain it with a generic version of that effect, the monster retains the ATK/DEF of the original monster but gains additional ATK/DEF with its own effect).

 

Naturally you can't get these points if you don't elaborate your backstory and/or pick a Normal/non-Effect monster, but I am granting these as bonus so you won't get less points if you do so. Also, you can't get a score higher than 50 with bonus points. For example, if you score 47 points but are worthy of 5 bonus points, your final score will become 50.[/spoiler]

[(GigaDrillBreaker)]

I'm in.

[Maeriberii Haan]

I'm in. I'll send the point ASAP.

[Darj]

Alright, will add you to the list.

[Dramatic Crossroad]

I would like to participate in this contest.  

 

[spoiler=Marshland Rescuer]

 

Marshland Rescuer

Attribute: Light / Rank:4

[Psychic Xyz/Effect]

2 Level 4 Monsters

Each time you Special Summon a monster from your Extra Deck; shuffle 1 Xyz Material from this card to the Deck. While this card has Xyz Material(s) attached to it; This card cannot be targeted by your opponent's monster effects.

ATK / 2100 DEF/1800

[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Trivia]

The Troubles of Kamui

 

Having barely escaped demise from the claws of Disigma, with the help of Falco, our hero found himself lost in the darkest corner of the marsh.While wandering for what seemed an eternity to him, the corrupted Vylons finally met their downfall and peace was achieved, but not for long. The Verz plague unfolded new catastrophe, reviving those defeated in battle and infecting many of the surviving tribes - twisting them into cruel power-hungry beings. Unknowingly to Kamui - Falco too had fallen into the grasp of evil. Even in this pinch, luck seem to have favored the boy, since the dense vegetation and thick fog were his only protection agains the poisonous winds that plagued the remaining lands. Kamui, still wandering in the most remote part of the swamplands, found some debris of the Vylon and decided to examine it, with his pure and naïve curiosity. The Vylon fragments suddenly illuminated, having once again reactivated with the return of the Constellars, and enveloped Kamui in light. The boy suddenly felt a surge of overwhelming power and knowledge With his mind connected with the stellar entities, almost losing himself in the flow, a single image made him snap out of this state, and he tapped into terror - Kamui saw his comrade fighting for the side of evil as the corrupted Hraesvelg.

 

Equipping himself with some parts of the Vylon he deemed useful, and with the newly aquired constellar power flowing through his being, Kamui hurried to the battlefield, with the firm resolve to save his friend!!!

...

 

 

 

 

Transformation Explanation: 

   Kamui switched to LIGHT Attribute, receiving new power from the Constellar & Vylon. His hair is worn short and no ponytail anymore, since the mask that prevents infection cannot be put on otherwise. The Xyz Materials shuffled into the Deck instead of being detached relates to his Gusto origins, as well as his determination to not let anyone else get infected by the Verz (Evilswarm). 

[/spoiler]

[Aix]

Bored, though not very familiar with DT lore. I'm in.

[Darj]

Both added to the list, updated the pot, and wrote additional details on Rule #3.

[Bringerofcake]

Are written cards acceptable? If so, I'd like to join.

[Darj]

Yes, Written Cards are allowed, but you have to include a short description of the artwork or the monster's appearance, just for everyone to get an idea of how much the original DT monster changed.

[Bringerofcake]

Can do. Points on the way.

[BatMed]

I'm in ^^

[(GigaDrillBreaker)]

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I would like to introduce you to...

 

Evilswarm Wurm!

 

 

 

3 Level 4 monsters

During either player's turn: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card to target 1 monster on the field; return that target to the hand. You can use the effect of "Evilswarm Wurm" up to thrice per turn. You cannot activate the effect of "Evilswarm Wurm" the turn you Special Summon this card.

 

Now, I don't know if you all know exactly what Mist Wurm was, but in essence it was the Godzilla to the residents of the Mist Valley. Yes, it was good at beating the tar out of threats to the area's security, but it is also A GIANT FREAKING MONSTER that was far from kind to the Valley during its rampages. After the Mist Valley Tribe was decimated by Trishula's rampage, the Wurm remained, until the invasion of the Evilswarms. Seeking beasts with substantial power, they found the wurm and infected it with their virus, causing it to lose some of its characteristic traits in favor of a more bestial appearance. 

[Bringerofcake]

Mist King

WIND

Thunder/Synchro/Effect

7/2200/2000

 

1 Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters

 

Once per turn, you can target 1 card on the field; return that target to the hand. This card gains 100 ATK each time you activate this effect. If this card attacks or is attacked, your opponent cannot activate cards or effects until the end of the Damage Step. You can only control 1 "Mist King".

 

Art Description: The green and intimidating Mist Valley Thunder Lord. However, time seems to have taken its toll on it. Its bird-like appendages are beginning to blacken, and some of its feathers are beginning to molt. The red lines that exist on its "plumage" have become faded as well. Its face is even a little wrinkled. The art itself is depicting King flapping its wings with force, causing several glowing purple threads to be blown backward.

 

After having its mind overtaken by Fabled Raven, Thunder Lord destroyed Ally of Justice Catastor, but managed to break itself out of Raven's control. Thunder Lord fled to a cave within the denser areas of Mist Valley in order to recuperate and repair its shattered mind. Recuperation became hibernation, and Thunder Lord slept through the freezing of the world, along with the entirety of the previous conflict. It probably would have slept for a thousand more years, if the threads of the Shaddolls had not begun to infest Mist Valley. Thunder Lord was forcibly awoken to the strings attempting to corrupt him as it had many others. However, Thunder Lord broke free of the strings through a combination of brute force and mental fortitude, and fled. Now it searches for others who have similarly resisted the corruption of the Shaddolls, in an effort to rid the world of this menace.

[BatMed]

Going to post tomorrow.. also, I've changed my display name : TEM 23 >> Batmed

[-Noel-]

I'm not familiar with DT Storyline, though I can make a short backstory for this

 

[spoiler='Entry']

2 Level 4 monsters

When this card is Xyz Summoned: You can target 1 card on the field; destroy that target, and if you do, place it on the top of the deck instead of sending it to the Graveyard. When this card inflicts Battle Damage to your opponent: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; place 1 card from your opponent's hand or Graveyard on top of their deck. During the End Phase of the turn you activated this effect: You can draw 1 card (This applies even if this card leaves the field.) You can only use this effect of "F-X-Saber Urbellum" once per turn.

 

F-X-Saber of Final X-Saber Urbellum, the only survivor of the X-Saber clan that was eradicated since Worms' invasion. One day he got infected by lswarm virus. With the strong determination to live for those who died protecting him, he's able to control himself and not fully corrupted even after his body changed so much. He continue living for his dead comrades until his last breath.

[/spoiler]

[Beerus]

I'll join.

[Darj]

Accepted. Updated the OP.

[BatMed]

[spoiler='Card - Cerez, Daigusto Enchanter']

 

**Effect**

1 tuner + 1 or more non-tuner monsters

Once per turn, you can shuffle 1 monster from your hand into your deck: Target 1 Special Summoned monster your opponent controls; return that to its owner’s hand.

[/spoiler]

 

[spoiler='Storyline']

Unlike other Gustos, Cerez wasn't able to control Mist valley birds. She was weak, and always unable to protect herself when Gishkies start an attack, but Windaar was always there to protect her. Gusto tribe has always thought to exile her, but Caam and Windaar won't make that happens as long as they are alive. Everything change in an evening: Tempest, one of the Dragon Rulers attack Mist Valley, all Gusto defenses were useless, but something strange happened, it seems that Tempest stopped the ravage one he has got near to Cerez. Her real potentials were finally discovered, unlike other gustos who control birds, Cerez was able to control Wind Dragons, making her the first and the only Gusto Dragon tamer, deserving the "Daigusto" title. However, only 1 dragon wasn't enough to protect mist valley from Gishkies invasion, so she has teamed up with "Constellar Sombre" who gave her more power so she will be skillful enough to woke up a powerful troop, deep into the the ruins of "Dragon Ravine". These troops have rushed to help with the crisis of "Mist Valley" when the Worms have invaded it: The "Dragunity". Once they were revived, Gustos were finally able to protect themselves from Gishki's Menace. 

[/spoiler]

[Darj]

bump

Just to remind to those who have not submitted their entries yet that you have this weekend left to do so.

[Maeriberii Haan]

Yeah, still working on my entry (have discarded a lot of ideas qq).

 

Probably will be submitted tomorrow.

[Darj]

bump

Just to remind you that I will accept entries until the end of this day, unless you ask for extra time, but no more than 2 days.

[Darj]

Time's up.

Batmed, your card has an effect but you wrote a different effect underneath the image. Which is the correct one?

For those who didn't submit their cards: do you want more time, your points back, or perhaps something else?

 

I will work with the scores after the above issues are solved.

[Beerus]

Time's up.

Batmed, your card has an effect but you wrote a different effect underneath the image. Which is the correct one?

For those who didn't submit their cards: do you want more time, your points back, or perhaps something else?

 

I will work with the scores after the above issues are solved.

I am not submitted my card. Dont need points back, keep them for contest.

[Darj]

I decided to review the effect on Batmed's card instead of the written one (because it was the better of the 2).

Here are your scores. I will give 1~2 days for discussing them in case you consider you deserve a better score, or I made a mistake (misunderstood an effect, etc.); after that I will deliver the prizes.

 

[spoiler=Scores]

Marshland Rescuer
Balance/Design: 9 - The card is certainly not broken, but is somewhat underwhelming: With a mere 2100 ATK and protection only against monsters effects, it remains vulnerable to S/T removal and destruction by battle, and thus it is not reliable as a wall.
Creativity/Flavor: 20 - Good backstory, interesting spin-off on Kamui, and I noticed you made a reference to an existing cards, which is nice. You could have gone as far as to mention that thanks to his ecnounter with the Vylon fragment, Kamui managed to safely raise Pilica. Its effect of spinning materials is original, and protection against monster effects is not exactly overused.
OCG: 8 - I spotted a grammar mistake, the first effect should have a ":" instead of ";", and the second one should be continuous.
Theme: 5 - You picked a DT monster and retrained it with a generic effect.

Bonus
Backstory: 2
References: 0

Total: 44


Evilswarm Wurm
Balance/Design: 8 - Bouncing up to 3 times during the opponent's turn is nothing to laugh at, and it can be really frustrating; even Pleaides with only 2 shots and an OPT clause is annoying enough. However, unlike Pleiades, it cannot bounce the turn it Summoned nor it can touch S/Ts, so that more or less helps with balancing the effect. So, I am giving you about half the points.
Creativity/Flavor: 5 - It's a Verz-ified monster; that's about it. I wouldn't say it is that creative. The backstory is lacking too: it can be summed up as "Mist Wurm was infected by the Verz". The effect isn't unique either: it is just a worse Pleiades effect. You will get bonus points for making a reference to the original "Mist Wurm", but naturally a more creative effect would have given you more points. Giving you that many points because at least is consistent with the DT storyline and the Verz archetype (Attributed changed to DARK and it became an Xyz like the ice dragons).
OCG: 10 - I did spot a mistake but it is not relevant enough to deserve less points.
Theme: 5 - You picked a DT monster and retrained it with a generic effect.
 
Bonus
Backstory: 0
References: 2 - Stats and effect similar to "Mist Wurm"

Total: 30

 

Mist King
Balance/Design: 8 - An OPT bounce that hits anything on the field is a dangerous effect, and arguably unfair. Also the Armades effect feels like an overkill. On the other hand, it does come with a lower original ATK than the average Synchro 7.
Creativity/Flavor: 15 - Good backstory, accurate references to the events on the DT storyline. The lower base stats than the original Thunder Lord are consistent with the fact that he is now older. The effects however are not really creative: bouncing is not that rare nowadays, and the last effect was basically copy/pasted from Armades.
OCG: 10 - I spotted a mistake in OCG punctuation, also the ATK boost effect can be simplified with an "and if you do, this card gains 100 ATK" after the bounce effect. However, the effect is still understandable and I don't think it deserves less points for OCG.
Theme: 5 - You picked a DT monster and retrained it with a generic effect.

Bonus
Backstory: 2
References: 2 - It bounces and gains ATK like the original Thunder Lord. It may not have the same stats as the original card, but it lost exactly 400 ATK and DEF because of its age, instead of just random ATK/DEF drops.

Total: 42

 

 

F-X-Saber Urbellum
Balance/Design: 0 - Nope, this is unhealthy for the game. First, it removes anything on its Summon. It might not spin as Castel does, but it is equally effective; also, unlike Castel, it can hit face-down cards. Then, at best this card can generate a +3 by itself (destroy:+1, hurt the hand:+1, draw a card:+1), and that's ridiculous. Granted, it needs to inflict damage to hurt the hand and get the draw, but that's not exactly difficult when it can, let's say, destroy the single monster your opponent controls and attack directly. In short, it is a Castel with additional effects that reward you too much, and you have to consider that Castel is arguably badly designed.
Creativity/Flavor: 16 - Backstory may be short but it tells enough about the fate of Urbellum; changing it to DARK as a reference to the Verz infection is nice. The effects may not be balanced, but they do have a hint of creativity with the "spin to the top of the deck" side effects.
OCG: 10 - Flawless OCG, or at least I didn't spot any mistake.
Theme: 5 - You picked a DT monster and retrained it with a generic effect.
 
Bonus
Backstory: 0
References: 2 - Same base stats as the original Urbellum and it also has similar effects of hurting the hand and placing cards on the top of the Deck.

Total: 33


Cerez, Daigusto Enchanter
Balance/Design: 15 - Also an OPT bouncer, but this feels properly balanced. It has a cost, albeit laughable, but requiring to target monsters with lower levels than the banished card, plus not being able to target Xyzs makes it fair. You would need to set enough high-Level monsters in the grave to continuously bounce the opponent's bigger threats, and thus it would require deck dedication to abuse this card.
Creativity/Flavor: 15 - The effect feels bland since all it does is bouncing, but with added restrictions. You did compromise the backstory by mentioning Tempest, who is not confirmed to exist in the DT world, but I did allow exceptions so I won't give you less points for that. However, if you ever develop on this monster, it would be better if you replaced Tempest with, let's say, an ancient and enraged Dragunity monster or something else.
OCG: 9 - Spotted a punctuation mistake and the word "target" is missing in the last clause (return that target to its owner's hand).
Theme: 2 - This is an original monster, not a retrained DT monster. At least it sticks with the theme as a monster from an DT archetype, and has a generic effect.

Bonus
Backstory: 2
References: 0

Total: 43[/spoiler]

[Bringerofcake]

Seems fair to me. Looking back on it, I think I added the Armades thing to reflect an immunity to Shaddolls, but I'm not really sure because for the most part it seems non-sensical. Either way, I've posted a modified version in Written Cards, so have a look when you can.