What to change for characters

[Azure Wolf]

I'm planning on writing a yugioh fanfic and i've got the characters done just wanting to know if there is any thing i should change.

 

Michael.

A shy, but competitive, 17 year old who is willing to do anything necessary to protect those close to him. He enjoys play a variety of card games and stargazing but dislikes long drawn out waits and crowded places. When alone he can be found staring in to the sky contemplating life. His favorite card is Seven Swords Warrior which is the only reminder he has of his father. Michael has mid length dark brown hair and blue-gray eyes; he is above average height for his age but doesn’t enjoy being as tall as he is as it attracts attention.

Yuhei.

Michael’s childhood friend and main rival. She uses a Dragon Deck constructed with her favorite card, Ascension Sky Dragon. Her brother, Grey works at a gaming shop where she can usually be found. She enjoys teasing Michael about his shyness and has secret feelings for him. Yuhei has long Auburn hair and green eyes; she is slightly above height and was the first person to tease Michael about his shyness before realizing how much pain it caused him.

Grey.

Yuhei’s older brother and her inspiration into gaming. Grey is an analyst who switches between Gemini, Hazy Flame and Hieratic decks to confuse his opponent. He is the best duelist out of the group. He works at a gaming store as cashier and tournament planner. He enjoys creating duel puzzles and accepting any challenge set out for him. Grey is 22 years old and flunked out of University but enjoys his current job. His hair and eye colour are the same as his sister but wears hazel contact lenses.

Mikoto.

One of two twins who both run E hero decks. She enjoys tag dueling, making jokes and drawing. She rarely duels seriously but when she does she is almost on par with Grey. She’s not as active as her sister Mokoto but is in the cross country club at their school. Mikoto has short black hair which she cut herself out of defiance of her parents and has blue eyes. She sometimes makes fun of her sister but usually pretends they aren’t related.

Mokoto.

Twin sister to Mikoto and the more serious of the two. Like her sister she runs an E hero deck but focuses on Masked Heroes. She enjoys watching anime and eating Chinese. She is in a variety of clubs. She is the most intelligent of the group being able to figure out Grey’s duel puzzles quickly and has been moved up two years in school. Because of her dueling skills and intelligence she has been offered sponsorships if she became a pro duellist. Mokoto has the same hair colour as her sister but has long hair and brown eyes. She is jealous of her sister’s happy-go-lucky attitude and wants to be accepted as a normal teenager like her friends.

Nuen.

Yuhei’s Alter Ego. Neun is part of Yuhei’s soul that wished her friends were dead. Neun fully awakens in a duel against Grey, who was just using a random mixture of cards, but still managed to push her into a corner using “Gapp, The Divine Soldier” and “Chaos Sorcerer”. When Neun awakened Yuhei’s deck split into two her original Dragon deck and a new Evil Swarm deck. Neun continued the duel using the evilswarm deck but still lost. This drove Yuhei and Neun to pursue more strength and they eventually then obtain a lightsworn and a Shaddoll deck respectively. Neun’s appearance is slightly different than Yuhei’s as her hair grows darker and her eyes turn a dark purple.

 

Feedback would be appreciated if and it would be any help i could post the deck lists of some of the characters.

 

[MetalRock547]

Everything seem fine. One thing, Grey's deck. Does he have three decks? Or just three archs mixed? Hazy flame and hieratics might work with the right deck build but I'm not entirely sure that adding gemini will work. It's you call. All of the rest seems pretty good though. Don't worry about showing pople the deck until the story comes out. Well, my business is done here. See ya! :D