Thar Posted July 31, 2014 Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 Why do lollipops believe everything you tell them? Because they're suckers! Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot! How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Tentacles! What did the mexican firefighter name his two sons? Jose and Hose B! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog King Posted July 31, 2014 Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 Why was the grass orange Because it was Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elijah~ Posted July 31, 2014 Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 What’s it called when a group of cows make puns? Herd - play. Why did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool. Which plant is the most addictive? A crack-tus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thar Posted July 31, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 I went to the seafood festival the other day. I pulled a mussel. This just in, a dwarf was spotted wreaking havok in town moments ago. Eye-witnesses say that there is a small medium at large. A light beam projects onto a wall and says "I'm lazy." A red beam projects next to it and says "Oh yeah? Well I'm lazer." A lollipop is holding a shovel when it finds something partially buried in the ground. Unsure that it can get it out, his pal Booker T says "Can ya dig it, sucka?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~British Soul~ Posted July 31, 2014 Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 Where do Volkswagens go when they get old? An Old Volks home A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thar Posted July 31, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped his ass. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? "Breathe, dammit, BREATHE!" Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a six offender. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goose Posted July 31, 2014 Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 how did the blood de hoop? by shakening the craken of course! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thar Posted July 31, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 So a bomb was dropped on a ghetto community of horses and pigs. Eye-witnesses comment "there goes the neigh-boar-hood!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog King Posted July 31, 2014 Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 why did the elephant need toilet paper Because he was a party pooper Wat is dis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toffee. Posted July 31, 2014 Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 ITT: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog King Posted July 31, 2014 Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 knock knock Whose there Neighbour Nigger who Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trebuchet MS Posted August 1, 2014 Report Share Posted August 1, 2014 Two men walk into a bar. They were hospitalized. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chairman ali Posted August 1, 2014 Report Share Posted August 1, 2014 Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot! i died Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thar Posted August 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2014 Three nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man comes up and exposes himself to them. Two of them have a stroke. But the third one couldn't reach. What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A Private Tutor! Why can't Helen Keller play sports? Because she's dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog King Posted August 1, 2014 Report Share Posted August 1, 2014 did you here about the 2 men in the bar last nigt "no" Good because there was too much violence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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