Tomorrow, I'll have to make a potentially-horrible decision that may affect the rest of my life. Please help, YCM.

[Merci]

Edit: Somehow, the problem was solved, I was able to make it past the storm without any real trouble happening. Not to say that it won't happen again, but I'm glad. In any case, I'm removing all the information here because it details my personal life a little too much.

[Kyng]

I'll give you my interpretation from the legal standpoint.

You must understand what your brother wants. Does your brother want to spend time with your father? In that instance it isn't kidnapping, and you taking your brother from your father is debatable as to whether it would be kidnapping in its own right or not.

Does your brother not want to stay with your father? In that instance your father is kidnapping your brother. In saying this, it is logical to assume you would not be kidnapping your brother, but rather rescuing him from your father.

If your parents are not divorced on paper, then this custody isn't legally enforceable (to my knowledge.) So, unless I get more details on this special type of divorce I might or might not be able to help you regard your mother calling the police. If your brother has been kidnapped, then your mother should do so with haste - again, this all comes down to figuring out whether your brother wants to be there, or not.

In sum: find out what your brother wants, then either have your mother call the police (since kidnapping ain't a joke) or bring him home when you get the chance, following which have the police ready on the phone should your father start an issue.

Hope this helps.

[Merci]

Hope this helps.

The problem here is, my brother has a fairly serious case of ADHD. Therefore, he can't make his own decisions. I don't really want to talk bad about him, but to be blunt, he fails at comprehending things, and hell, despite being seven he still has a lot of trouble with speech. Even if he does say anything, then it'd be short-sighted and fail to see the point.

Whether or not my brother protests wouldn't matter, since due to his condition, it's unlikely that anyone would listen to him. To me, what he thinks is a non-factor in this situation since he wouldn't care either way whether he spends time with his mother or his father.

And yes, they are divorced on paper, but it's only been done by my mother. You see, she divorced him while he was back in England unaware, looking for a job, and I can only assume that she accomplished this through an illegal manner due to the circumstance in which it was done (both parties are required to be present and agree, right?). She's married another man since then, you know, just in case you've forgotten, so at least it's recognized as official even if it's illegal.

Also, this is Indonesia. Corruption everywhere. It's pretty easy to exploit the legal system here.

[Kyng]

I see, that would make things a little more difficult to deal with.

The fact both parties need be present for a divorce is only slightly true - should both parties be willing, then yes, and it would speed the process up. However should one party wish to divorce, it wouldn't be fair to leave them trapped in a marriage with another spouse who still wants to be married. So after a period of time (which in the UK is 5 years) a spouse can divorce their partner without their partner's consent if they've lived apart for 5 years.

I'd keep what I've said in mind, because even if he does have ADHD, by the books he's still able to ultimately make a decision and that'll be the deciding factor as to whether he's kidnapped or not.

Sorry if I can't be of any more help on the legal side.

[Frunk]

If the divorce was illegal, the custody agreement is non-existent. I assume, therefore, that your father is still the legal guardian of his son. Therefore, you would probably be in the wrong, if your father were to take the matter to the police.

 

Quite simply, you know your family and your situation better than anyone here, so I wouldn't expect any genuine assistance if I were you. This is something you need to figure out on your own.

[Flash Flyer - Sakura]

As Kyng already mentioned, it depends on what your brother wants to do.

Does he wish to go with your mother to the gathering or stay with your dad and spend Easter? Even if he has ADHD, he should still be able to make up his own mind about what he wants to do.

 

To be honest, I am not sure of how the circumstances for your situation would play out here in the United States (mom divorced your dad, but he didn't agree to it); I believe that both parents must consent to the divorce agreement, but don't quote me on that.

 

In your case though, since neither of your parents are willing to yield (which really is horrible for familial relations), you are pretty much in a bind. If it's serious enough that law enforcement needs to be brought in to settle a family issue (in the event your dad takes matter into his own hands), I would probably leave it. While yes, it is going to be painful leaving your brother with your father and having to explain to your relatives why your bro isn't here, considering the nature of your family, it's best not to have this escalate further than it should be.

 

 

I can't really give any more help besides what I just mentioned, but hopefully things pan out in the end. I feel sorry that you have to deal with this.

[Merci]

If the divorce was illegal, the custody agreement is non-existent.

It's legal, and recognized, it's just that it was achieved through an illegal manner. Otherwise, my mother wouldn't have been able to remarry as a Muslim woman. Legally, he is not in custody of his son, my mother and stepfather are.

Also, my bro doesn't even know what Easter is. In fact, he can't even count from one to ten, and even if he does want to go home, chances are that my father'll just ignore it, waving it away as senseless complaining. Most of the things he say don't make sense in the first place.

But still, thanks for all the advice, everyone. I do appreciate it, although it isn't helping me much when it comes to having to make a decision.

I can only hope that things'll work out for the best.

[Frunk]

although it isn't helping me much when it comes to having to make a decision.

 

That's because it's your decision, not ours.

If you truly want help, you need to find a family member or friend who knows your world if you want any genuine insight. Otherwise, you're on your own. You're not going to find any answers here.

[Tentacruel]

Pretty sure kidnapping is also illegal.

 

Regardless, family drama.  It sucks.  

 

You just have to be calm, stay back, and assess the situation.  Compare your options.  I'd also recommend to put yourself in a position that gives you bargaining power.  (If shit goes down.)
 

Also, be careful.  Being hasty can be very dangerous.