[YGO] Nightmare Soldier [Chapter 5: Research and Development] Posted!

[Synchronized]

 

[spoiler=Chapter 1: Destiny]
"Good evening sir. A rather oddly timed meeting, wouldn't you say?" Hirosaka was a frail, light skinned man who didn't have much to his credit. He had spent many years working as the assistant director of Ryos Academy, just one of many elite duel monsters schools that had risen to the top of the proverbial food chain. 

While there were very few above him in authority, he preferred not to make his presence known unless it was absolutely necessary. Rather, he preferred to keep to himself and oversee that the Academy's day to day operations ran smoothly and effectively. 

About thirty years had passed since the very first Duel Academy was established, and my how things had changed since then. Instead of just a few prestigious schools, academies had opened all across the globe, separate in nature but united under one umbrella - the National Series.

What was the National Series and why was it so important, so prestigious that every country in the world had some sort of representation in it? 

The answer is very simple. These academies were the future of dueling. Unlike the limited number that had existed upon their inception, there were hundreds of speciality schools where duelist could learn to hone their craft. Singles, teams, Pro Level, duelist management, judging, specialization in new mechanics, and even card design were just a handful of what these schools had to offer. 

However, with a much larger base of students being accepted into these academies, the chance to graduate and immediately shift to the Pro Circuit had become increasingly difficult. Gone were the days of every graduate being guaranteed a spot. Things were different now. Which meant that the top performing schools in the National Series had the best chance for consideration.

For the students, this meant achieving success at the highest degree and realizing their dreams. And for the schools whose students performed at such levels? Recognition, sponsorships, and most importantly, money. In addition to that, these elite schools who performed at the top were often given exclusive cards from Industrial Illusions themselves. The incentives were great, and the general public latched on to every moment.

You could say it was a win-win for all sides. Even schools that didn't necessarily rank in the Top 4 of the series would still get their names out there, and that was a start.

---

And it was almost that time of the year. Only two months remained until the preliminaries of the National Series and Hirosaka had never been under so much stress. This year's crop of final year students was one of the most talented he had ever been witness to. 

But of course, only a limited number of students could participate in the event. Each school could select a grand total of five representatives, and with somewhere around 50 schools participating in the event, that meant two-hundred and fifty students would be competing to be this year's champion.

His problem? Ryos Academy was home to nearly 800 students. How exactly would he break it to them that less than 3% of them would be chosen? Well, he was still searching for that answer.

Which is why when the Director called him in for an emergency meeting at two in the morning, he was quite annoyed. He didn't dare show it outright, but what could be that important that it couldn't wait till morning?

"Sincerely sorry to have disturbed you, Hiro," the Director addressed him for the first time since they had both arrived near the docks. The Director was a tall, somewhat muscular man who was very well respected amongst the Academy Network and highly regarded as one of the best duelists in the world. Working under him had been an honor, but at the same time there was something about the man that Hirosaka found slightly off-putting.

Still, this was a powerful man and it was best to avoid making him angry. He'd seen a few people make that mistake, but never anyone make it twice. His mind wandered to those recollections for a moment, but the Director's bold voice cut him off.

"You know under normal circumstances I would not have bothered you, but I received word that this week's shipment has arrived." 

The shipment he was referring to was a small collection of cards designed exclusively for Ryos Academy. Every week on Sunday evening, a package containing a select few rare cards was delivered to the school, under the condition that it would be used as a prize support for the school's weekly competitions.

Students would be randomly selected to partake in a single elimination tournament and the winner would receive these cards. He could only assume certain other academies enjoyed similar benefits, but that was not his business nor his concern.

Every week the package would arrive and every week a staff member would deliver it to the Head Office where it would sit until it was awarded. The Director had never once made reference to this, except in passing from time to time. So why now was this such a concern? The timing of this was strange.

"I'd presume so. It's been so long since I've given it a second thought," Hirosaka replied honestly. He sighed, hesitating to ask and risk annoying the director. "Pardon me for asking, but why all of the sudden is this a concern? I assure you those responsible for their safekeeping would not deter from that."

The Director nodded, replying sternly. "And I'm sure you're right. They've all performed excellently. But I'm afraid this week's shipment will..." He paused for a moment. "Unfortunately I need to take hold of them. It is of the utmost importance."

That took an unexpected turn, Hirosaka thought to himself. Those cards were specifically for the students as a performance incentive. The tournaments were a way to test their prowess, and in return for their participation as well as to ensure they would compete at the highest level and then some, they had the chance to win the cards. What would he tell the students if there were no prize cards available? Surely the Director had to be aware of the ruckus this would cause.

"That's not an issue, is it, Hiro?" The Director asked condescendingly, his overwhelming presence feeling amplified and then some. 

"Of course not sir," Hirosaka lied in response, running his fingers through his hair awkwardly. "But what will I tell the students? If we are unable to hold a tournament, would that not raise complaints?"

The Director's eyes veered off into the distance of night for a few moments. He was careful not to show any emotion that might give away his position. "Don't be foolish, I wouldn't dream of interfering with the tournament. I need these cards for what I can say is for the better of the Academy. This is for the good of the school. But here, take this."

Hirosaka extended his hand as the Director handed him a single card. It's black border and starry background were barely visible under the fall of night, but he could clearly see it was an Xyz monster. 

"This is a very rare card from my own personal collection," the Director smiled an insincere smile. "After all, even though I am forced to take these cards, it is only fair that in return I offer something to compensate. Give this card to the student that achieves victory. It is the least I can do," he smiled once more.

He would have to wait until he returned to his residence to look at the card in full detail, but something about this whole encounter left him a little on edge. Probably just his exhaustion getting to him, he reasoned. 

"Now then, would you be so kind as to fetch those cards for me?" 

Hirosaka thought it over once more. Even if something about this felt wrong, there was nothing he could do. The Director would get his way. And so, after sighing to himself and flashing a fake smile, he nodded. 

"Yes sir. I'll fetch them right away." And so he did.

---

Dylan was woken up by the obnoxious sound of the alarm clock on the side of his bed. He was still so tired, but slapping at it randomly with his hands in hopes of hitting the snooze button was failing.

After three tries to no avail, he finally slammed his hand into the clock, knocking it onto the floor with a THUD! He sighed. He'd missed the button, and now the clock was in the middle of the floor and still beeping like crazy.

It was gonna be one of those days.

With one last sigh, he crawled out of bed and grabbed the clock off the floor, turning it off and placing it back on the nightstand beside his bed. But not before looking at it--it was already 9:30?! 

Oh man, he slept through class! It hadn't happened in a while, and normally he was always present and alert so surely Professor Kyota wouldn't be too angry with him, but it was the beginning of the week, which meant the pairings for this week's tournament would be announced. And he missed them! 

That meant whoever his opponent was for the first round, he'd already had the upper hand by being present and getting the chance to study his opponent's Deck and play style. The Academy kept a record of every duel conducted within it's walls for research and instructional purposes, and it was totally within the rules for students to access it. But now he didn't know who his opponent would be and the preliminaries would start in less than three hours! 

Ugh, he had to get to the square!

---

Throwing on a pair of jeans from the night before and a plain white t-shirt that were laying on the ground, he darted for the door. Only then did he remember to grab his backpack, containing both his Deck and his duel disk. 

"Whoa, I was just about to ask where you were today!" Dylan barely caught himself as he ran out the door and nearly took out the brown-haired girl standing in the doorway. Her eyes were a deep blue and she couldn't help but roll her eyes at the boy's carelessness. Like usual.

Her name was Allison. She was a second year student, two years behind Dylan who was just now entering his final year at the academy. She specialized in teaching, and hoped to land a job at one of the Academies closer to her home state back in the United States. 

The two had met in a class last semester and instantly clicked as friends, even though Dylan was a bit careless at times and seemed to go into these random zoned moments. Still, he was such an exciting duelist to watch and she had watched him rise through the ranks for almost a year now. Out of 800 students in Ryos, Dylan was ranked 85th. That was a huge accomplishment. 

She had traveled overseas to attend Ryos because of its reputation as one of the best schools in the world for teaching Duel Monsters, but even more than that, it was home to some of the best duelists in the world. It had been 15 years since Ryos' first year and every year since, it's students had placed in the National Series. But as great as Dylan was, he had no idea what he wanted.

He'd once told her he was majoring in Pro Circuit studies, but she didn't sense passion in his eyes to just become a pro duelist. There was something about him she couldn't figure out; it was like he was constantly searching for something, but even he didn't know what.

"Yeah sorry about that! Couldn't sleep at all last night!" He shouted, only stopping long enough to acknowledge her. "But I have to get to the library! Don't have time to talk now!"

"Wait a sec, I gotta tell you-" It was pointless; he'd already run off. "I was going to tell you the tournament isn't the same this week as usual...but of course you're in too much of a hurry to listen," she groaned. He'd figure it out soon enough. In the mean time, she figured she might as well attempt to catch up with him.

---

The central square was bustling. Dylan had slowed himself down just a little as he got closer, so as not to look ridiculous running around like a crazy person. 

He was surprised by how few people were in the library. In fact, aside from a few people reading in the lounge and a couple of people sitting at tables going through their decks, there was nobody. 

This was...definitely not commonplace. Everyone knew Mondays were the start of the tournament week--why wouldn't they be--
"Ugh, there you are! I hate when you run off like that!" 
He turned around to see Allison standing in the doorway, almost keeled over and breathing pretty heavily. 
"Ally? Whoa what happened to you, you look like you got hit by a bus!" He exclaimed. 
She glared at him. "If I wasn't exhausted from running so fast, I'd slap you. Anyway, this is what I was trying to explain before you took off like a crazy man," she said, catching her breath.
"Yeah...sorry about that," he laughed awkwardly. "I slept in a bit."
"No kidding, I figured that out when you missed the lecture. Class was short today because they announced a different format for this week's tournament. It's...kinda weird."
"Huh? What kind of a different format?" He asked as the two left the library and entered the square to see multiple students facing off in duels. Wow, that had only been a few minutes and there were already a bunch of duels going on. "Like changes in card limitations?"
Allison shook her head. "No, nothing like that. Normally the tournaments are Swiss with a top percentage, but this week's contest is modeled after an old style--the GX Tournament."

He racked his brain for a moment. Why was that so familiar? "GX Tournament? OH! I remember that now, that's the tournament that was like between a bunch of different academies and had some of the best pro duelists in the world. So pros are coming here?!" He asked, a little too excitedly.

"Don't get too excited," she joked. "There won't be any non-Ryos students here. They're just modeling it after that. Basically every student has one medal. If you're challenged to a duel, you have no choice but to accept. The winner, obviously, gets the loser's medal. At the end of the week, whoever has the most medals is the winner. It's that simple. But, unlike most weeks, there's only one prize card."

Dylan froze in his tracks. Only one prize card? That didn't make any sense! The tournaments always came down to a top 3 bracket, and all the winners would choose between a select number of cards. He'd won a great number of tournaments in his four years here, and still had a bunch of his prize cards stored back in his dorm. Though he'd come up short of 1st place the past few weeks, he always had a solid chance to make a good showing. With only one winner, things suddenly got a lot more important.

"You alright Dyl?" Allison asked, noticing he'd kinda gone into a trance or something. "You're zoning out on me again."
"Huh?" He asked, not even noticing as the girl's eyes were close to his own. "Oh yeah...I'm fine. I just find it weird...why change the tournament now? It's almost time for the National Series to begin and only the duelists that perform well will be considered..." This was his last year at the Academy. If he wanted to make it on the pro circuit, he had to be better than ever. He'd always come just a bit short of making the National Series.

And he did want to make it to the pros, right?

---

His attention became fixated on the two duelists standing closest to them. One of them was a younger kid, probably a first year student based on the looks of him. His field was full of monsters, not exactly any that Dylan recognizes, but there were three of them and they all had at least two thousand attack points. 

The younger boy's opponent however, Dylan knew very well. Ryujin Tsunaka. They'd never really gotten along, but there was a mutual respect between the two of them. Ryu was also a final year student, and his skills were unparalleled. In fact, though he was down to a mere three hundred life points with an empty field, he was moments away from winning the game.

"Sorry kid, but I can't afford to lose to a first year with the series so close. You put up a valiant effort and for that I commend you," Ryu nodded his head, though the boy assumed he was bluffing. After all, there was no way he'd make a comeback now. 

"It's my turn now! And I draw!" Ryu's deck was powerful because of it's explosive potential. He played a "Scrap" deck, the likes of which had earned him his reputation. "Since you sent my Scrap Shark to the Graveyard last turn, I now have a total of five "Scrap" monsters in my Graveyard. That means that by using these two cards, I still have enough to make a game ending push! First I activate Stardust Shimmer!"

Dylan found himself fixated on the duel as Ryu's ace monster arose from the wreckage of which it took refuge, a menacingly large mechanical dragon with two huge wings and thin silver cannons to go along with them. 
 
“Whoa, that thing’s huge!” Allison exclaimed somewhat fearfully as Ryu’s ace monster rose behind him.  Dylan had seen it before and even had the opportunity to battle it once, albeit in a failed attempt.  It was always impressive, but he knew that monster alone wouldn’t be enough to secure Ryu’s victory.  That being said, it was a victory that regardless, given his opponent, was assured none the less. 
 
The girl was new to the school, at least only being in her second year, and so she wasn’t all that familiar with Ryu’s work, but it was safe to say he had established himself as one of the best duelists in the school, although there had been some rumblings that he slacked within the classroom, when he was on the field, it was all business.
 
“I may only be a first-year student, but think of the glory I’ll receive when I take down the famous Ryujin!” The boy exclaimed with a cheeky grin.  “This is gonna be great!  I ain’t scared of your monster at all, try coming at me!”
 
Ryu examined the field, completely ignoring the boy’s taunting words.  They were nothing he hadn’t heard before.  Three monsters, Vorse Raider, a vicious carnivore warrior wielding a sharp blade, boasted only 1900 attack points.  The second one, Frostosaurus, a prehistoric reptile made completely out of nearly unbreakable ice, was much more formidable at 2600 points.  The third and final one, Spiral Serpent, a deadly beast of the deep with layers upon layers of razor-like fangs and a thirst for blood, held 2900 attack points; the only one stronger than his Scrap Dragon.  He had to take down all of them in one turn, which wasn’t necessarily an easy task, but nonetheless, one he had prepared for. 
 
This kid’s medal was as good as his.
 
“You talk a big game and you’ve done well for a freshman, but this one’s over!  From my hand I cast the Spell Card Scrap Kinetic Fusion!” There were two monsters remaining in his Graveyard, one being Scrap Beast and the other being Scrap Chimera.  They were relatively useless in comparison to the rest of the field, but with Scrap Kinetic Fusion, he could rebuild them into something more impressive.
 
“Poor kid’s done for,” Dylan remarked unsympathetically.  “The same card that did me in the first time we faced one another.”
“What’s so special about it?” Allison asked, unable to help but notice a shift in Dylan’s demeanor while watching the duel.  Was there something between Ryujin and himself? She had never seen the two of them together before, but it was almost like his entire personality changed. 
“Just watch, you’ll see.”
 
“It works like this! By banishing Scrap Beast and Scrap Chimera from my Graveyard, I’m able to rebuild Scrap Dragon into another mode of combat!” The two monster’s spirits floated upwards from beneath the dragon, combining in a sphere of light as the mechanical dragon drew from their strength.  When it resurfaced, the two slim silver cannons at its side had been replaced by new ones, their barrels now resembling the head of a fearsome chimera.  The beast, doing its part, had broken down into armor that now covered the entire torso. 
 
“Scrap Kinetic Fusion takes any two “Scrap” monsters that he might have at his disposal, breaks them down, and then reassembles them so that a “Scrap” Synchro monster can build upon itself.  His Scrap Dragon is now equipped with a Chimera Cannon, the likes of which boosts its attack points by 1000 points.  And the Scrap Beast that comprises its armor allows the dragon to shield itself from possible destruction.” Dylan explained, still marveling at the sight.  It was every bit as powerful as the first time he’d felt its presence.
 
“So he recycles his monsters even when they’re destroyed?” Allison asked, intrigued by the concept.
 
“I’m surprised this is the first time you’ve heard of him,” he said.  “But I guess since you’re not necessarily here to go into the pro dueling leagues it kinda makes sense.  Ryujin is regarded so highly as a duelist here because no matter how many times you knock him down, he’ll just rebuild.  He thrives off of players who think that simply taking out his monsters will lead to his defeat.  What most duelists interpret as pounding him into the ground is really just helping him to build his ultimate strategy.  That’s a lesson I learned the hard way.”
 
“Go Scrap Dragon, activate your special ability!” Ryu exclaimed as the boy watched in marvel, wondering if he was possibly in over his head.  “Scrap Annihilation Cannon!” The dragon’s power, which allowed its controller to target one monster on each side of the field, and with each cannon destroy that target, was nothing new.  What puzzled the boy was why his opponent would use that power when the only monster on the field was the dragon itself.  If he destroyed his own monster, he’d be wide open for a direct attack.
 
But Ryu didn’t bother to explain.  As the cannons chose their targets, one fired a shot up into the air, directly above Scrap Dragon itself.  The other fired a blast of bullets across the field at the slimy serpent, obliterating it to pieces.
 
"Have you lost a step?" The boy asked condescendingly. "You bring out that monster, your only chance of winning, and then carelessly destroy it?!"
 
He finished his sentence as the charged blast on Ryu's side of the field came full circle to hit it's target. But instead of being harmed by it, the black armor it had donned thanks to Scrap Beast simply disintegrated.
 
"N-no...his armor took the hit instead?"
 
"There's a lot more to a game than what you see on the surface," Ryu explained calmly. His presence and his unwillingness to show fear made him even more threatening to his opponents. It was like he knew exactly what he was doing at all times. Even when he didn't. "Every card in my deck has a use. I don't play a single card without having some kind of a use for it. And that makes an unbreakable strategy."
 
"Now I see," the boy said. "You used Scrap Beast to make an armor so Scrap Dragon wouldn't take the hit!" Just how good is this guy? I know he's supposed to be one of the school's best, but I'm starting to wish I hadn't challenged him now.
 
"Precisely. And that's not all," Ryu said as his dragon's cannons began to build steam. "By using Scrap Chimera, I've made some modifications to my dragon. Modifications that, to be specific, give him an additional five hundred attack points for each cannon. And then, for each one, Scrap Dragon can make an additional attack."
 
"If my math is right, that means he can attack three times!" Allison exclaimed. Ryujin's opponent hadn't taken any damage yet, but that was about to change. What a duelist this guy was.
"Right," Dylan acknowledged. "It's like I said, the same way our first duel ended. Poor kid made a mistake challenging him."
 
"It's time to end this duel. With 3800 attack points and three attacks, it's more than enough to put you out of commission. Good try kid, but this one's over. Scrap Dragon, destroy his monsters and then his Life Points! Chimera Cannon Flash!"
 
There were three shots in succession, but it was all one huge flash of concentrated energy. And when it cleared, both duelists had lowered their disks, with the boy dropping to his knees in defeat.
 
---
 
"Oh man, this really sucks," the boy said dejectedly as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the medal he'd been handed. Ryujin walked over to him and took it, not taking any pleasure in doing so, but realizing the importance in this competition. "I lost..."
"You did," Ryu nodded. "But you've got potential. And a lot to learn. I'm sure by the time you get to where I am, you'll be an entirely different duelist. Until then, I look forward to our next duel."
 
He nodded his head, placing the medals in his pocket before turning to walk away. When suddenly, without even really knowing what he was doing, Dylan called out to him.
"I've been waiting for our rematch for three years now, and watching that I've got an itch to duel! Ryujin, whattya say? Duel me!"
Allison gasped. After seeing what that guy was capable of, Dylan was gonna challenge him just like that?! Was he crazy? He'd be eliminated from the tournament in the first round.
 
Ryujin sighed, then turned to face him. He knew this would come eventually; after the way their first duel went, there was no way he'd be leaving the academy without facing Dylan at least one more time. But right now? He didn't believe the kid was ready yet. And yet, tournament rules said once a challenge was made, one couldn't deny it.
 
Looked like he didn't have a choice.
 
---
 
It had been a while since they had all gathered like this.  But that was a good thing.  Because now, the idea of finally being able to take action after having to hide away for three years brought smiles to their faces.
He had called upon them, which meant the plan was finally being put into motion.
 
It was time to wreak havoc.
 
To be continued...[/spoiler]

[Synchronized]

[url=http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/313913-ygo-nightmare-soldier-chapter-2-web-of-deceit/#entry6376541][/url]

[url=http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/313913-ygo-nightmare-soldier-chapter-3-honor-code-part-one/?p=6380305][/url]

[url=http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/313913-ygo-nightmare-soldier-chapter-4-honor-code-part-two/?p=6386480]Chapter 5: Research and Development[/url]

[Loyalist]

Might read this later.

[Synchronized]

Might read this later.

 

Well, thanks for the free bump. :]

 

Would certainly appreciate some feedback and stuffz.

[Vector Nightmare]

Since noone else is even bothering to post their opinion on anything, might as well...

 

Impressions from the intro blurb; oh no, not another Duel Academy... oh god wait there are many Duel Academies here? And a tournament introduced right off the bat? This isn't going to end well... basically all red neon warning signs were screaming at me to get away at this point. Making the central premise of your story a tournament is fine, but when you introduce it right off the bat (before the story even begins), without any build-up, and in a Duel Academy setting to boot, that fine transforms into an urge to decapitate something.

 

But I pushed past that, because I've seen many unoriginal concepts turn into quite decent stories in the hands of talented authors, and I believe you are in the group that has what it takes (there's still very little reason to actually adopt such a concept, especially given the great ability you've displayed in building a coherent world and setting, which is something many people struggle with and as such resort to copy-paste concepts, be they Duel Academy or something else, unless you're going for some genre-subversion theme, which doesn't look likely right now at least. But like I said, moving on). Blurb also introduces us to our protagonist, which is a bad practice. Why do we need to find out about this character before he is actually introduced in the story, when the only piece of info we get is that he has no passion for anything? Which also contradicts the last part. If he has no passion about anything, then he doesn't really have anything to prove. If he feels like he has something to prove, then he is passionate about something.

 

Anyway, for better or worse, we have our Hero, Unmotivated The Character, and are ready to move on to the chapter proper... oh wait. The chapter proper actually begins with a new "I shall spell the plot out to you now" sequence. Duel Academies, directors, and cards oh my. After a long, long, LOOOONG part about things that we really have no reason to invest into at this point in time... we find out that the director wants to hog all the good cards for himself, and instead chooses some cheap-ass card to give as a prize. And if that card is not Baby Tiragon I will be much disappoint. Judging by the serious cases of Wrong The Feeling our perspective guy Hirosaka is getting, it seems the director is up to a few more nasty things, too.

 

After all that, we finally get to meet Unmotivated Dylan, who wakes up LATE FOR THE DUEL ACADEMY ENTRANCE EXAMS... oh wait, he's already in the Academy. Nonetheless he wakes up late for something, because being punctual and being good at card games don't go well together. So what he was late for was class, but instead of class it was just an announcement of tournament match-ups, which you'd think would make it more ok to be late at, but of course it's even worse because Dylan has studied the Art of War and needs to know the enemy before engaging in card-related hostilities.

 

Shortly after getting out of the room, a Wild Female Character appears, which Unmotivated Dylan nearly TAKES OUT. As in KILLS HER. Or possibly sends her to the Shadow Realm. Nonetheless said character survives the experience without holding much of a grudge. Her name is Allison and she has BLUE EYES. Which is one piece of information more than we know about Dylan. Oh well.

 

We learn that our Unmotivated Dylan The Murderer is actually good at card games. And is also exciting to watch as he throws cards around. These two facts, along with the OMFG I AM LATE sequence... actually pretty much show us that Dylan DOES actually have some form of motivation / passion / interest in what he's doing. One of the reasons why people should not do blurbs, is that they dish out information before its proper time, and then when you start reading the story that information feels off, and until it actually clicks, it pretty much seems inconsistent and sloppy writing. And if the writing is sloppy and inconsistent, you probably won't wait around too long for it to click.

 

At any rate, we receive some added padding from Allison's point of view about Dylan. Which... again, doesn't feel like any concrete character building. Just some informed qualities that simply don't match up with his actions, and have no bearing on the plot right now (lacking as that plot might be). Eventually we do find out what it was that Dylan missed by oversleeping... it was... DRUMROLL... MOAR DRUMROLL... A CHANGE IN THE TOURNAMENT RULES!!!

 

EL GASP!

 

...so yeah. After such a world-shaking event, we are introduced to Rival The Character. Side note; introducing a skilled duelist by pitting him in a situation where he's facing an overwhelming disadvantage, and then turns it around, against a no-name fodder character, isn't good practice. If Skilled The Character was so Skilled, he shouldn't have been in that situation in the first place. Better just show him dominate entirely, than that.

 

Anyways. Vague stuff happens. Not gonna comment on much because it was little more than a mediocre showing of a random Scrap deck, and I don't like how Kinetic Fusion... isn't really a Fusion. The fact that we don't get stuff explained to us in strict gameplay terms and the lack of explanation for how Kinetic Fusion works gives this an odd Duelist Kingdom feel... which isn't exactly a good thing.

 

And the chapter ends with Unmotivated Dylan The Killer facing off against Skilled Ryujin The Rival. That was... admittedly rather unexpected, but not in a good way. If Dylan wins despite his lack of motivation and informed lesser skill, then that's some Mary Sue padding. If he loses it will be interesting (and actually make his informed flaws apparent) and a decent step in his character development... but then he'd be eliminated from the tournament, and some odd twist would have to put him back in the game, which doesn't feel like something that should happen so soon. I suppose there are other possible outcomes... but it still feels iffy.

 

All-in-all, overall verdict... not impressed. The main fault lies with Dylan. You first introduce him to us as a supposedly impassionate, unmotivated character, but then his actions and words clearly show that he does feel invested in what he does. If his portrayal had been more consistent with his informed qualities, we'd be looking at a reasonably interesting character, but as it is, it's pretty problematic - plot and setting feel painfully generic and the story only has its characters to rely on. With Dylan being a weird Yusei/Judai mix, Allison feeling like an Asuka expy, and Ryujin channeling Ryo, this really feels like GX season 1 except jumping straight into the season 2 tournament arc. Which... is not a good thing.

 

Definitely needs work, if it's going to stand out.

[Synchronized]

First of all, thanks for taking the time to reply!

 

Anyway, I'm not done with Accel at all, but I'm having somewhat of a writer's block and I wanted to take a break and work on a simpler project.  I've always wanted to do a Duel Academy fic that actually stood out and was different, so I figured while I'm taking a break from Accel, I'd do this.

 

The three goals I set for myself were:

 

1.) Have a main character that isn't happy-go-lucky like Jaden and isn't some kind of novice duelist

2.) Establish a plot that isn't the exact same as every other one

3.) Place an emphasis on competition (i.e. the National Series)

 

I'd like to think I did the first one, kinda?

 

But there's obviously a lot more to do.  I know I'm capable of writing a good story but Duel Academy fics are a really challenging beast to tackle.  I think I can do well with it; my goal is to make it stand out and be different.

 

Edit:

 

Made a few cosmetic/lore changes.  I'm actually planning on the story being a lot darker than the original title may have suggested, so I wanted to do something that demonstrated it a little better.

 

I also removed the blurb from the beginning because that way it's a little less 'spoiling' and doesn't cause as many contradictions as before.  

[Ren✧]

Well contrary to most, I actually enjoy a Duel Academy setting, so this grabbed my interest from the start. At the same time, I'm also glad that you have changed the academy to be more immersive than what was shown to us in GX and I think you have probably established the best setting for an Academy-type fic. My first comment really has more to do with my laziness, but putting in links to the cards used would really be beneficial. And when you use custom cards, I think we would all appreciate it if we could see what those cards actually do. I am assuming that whatever you did with Scrap Dragon and the Kinetic Fusion thing is more of a season 1 anime mechanic than anything else. In truth, I detest that in fics and would much rather see a more competitive style of dueling than what we saw in Duelist Kingdom. 

 

The characters seem fairly lack luster. There were a few interesting characteristics, like the lack of drive in the main character, but as Vector pointed out you do manage to contradict yourself. Also Ryujin and Hiro's relationship of mutual respect is interesting to see so early in the story, as we normally see such a character and the protagonist at one anothers' throats. As a whole, I thought the chapter really didn't establish much of anything and really wasn't very impressive. At the same time, I see an intriguing story that could be built out of this and I eager to see what you will do. 

[Synchronized]

I'm always the type that is optimistic to any story, but I've always wanted to make a good duel academy Fic.

I know I had a lot of issues but I took them all into consideration and actually made some significant changes already to the upcoming chapter.

Stick with me, I'm gonna turn it around. :D

[Ren✧]

I'm always the type that is optimistic to any story, but I've always wanted to make a good duel academy Fic.

I know I had a lot of issues but I took them all into consideration and actually made some significant changes already to the upcoming chapter.

Stick with me, I'm gonna turn it around. :D

 

Don't worry, you got me for at least a few more chapters :D :P

 

Was I right though, that the thing with Scrap Dragon was an anime-esque mechanic(like Soldier of Stone destroying the moon in season 1) or was I just totally lost? 

[Synchronized]

Don't worry, you got me for at least a few more chapters :D :P

 

Was I right though, that the thing with Scrap Dragon was an anime-esque mechanic(like Soldier of Stone destroying the moon in season 1) or was I just totally lost? 

 

No, it's a bit more complex than that.

 

I had a feeling people might get that Duelist Kingdom vibe but the card(s) does have a purpose.  Because it was really just a Prologue duel, I didn't bother to spoiler-ize stuff.  Although I did do it here, in this next Chapter.  Once we actually see Ryujin duel I'll go more into detail about the Scrap Kinetic Fusion series.  It just didn't seem like a necessary explanation for more or less a small excerpt of a duel.

 

[spoiler=Chapter 2: A Web of Deceit]

Chapter 2: A Web of Deceit

 

Allison had found herself in one of those weird trances Dylan often went into for a moment.

 

Why would he challenge this guy?! She knew he was talented, but the tournament had only just begun. It was weird, she had only just heard of Ryujin. True, because she was studying to be a dueling professor and not a pro, she wasn't completely immersed in the social culture of the Academy yet. But this guy was good. Really good. "Are you crazy?!!" She blurted out, almost completely out of character.

 

Dylan wasn't expecting it, and even Ryujin himself was thrown off by the sudden outburst. "You don't even have your medal yet! Plus this guy just wiped the floor with that kid! I thought you wanted to make it to the finals in this thing?"

 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dylan said, shooting her a disgruntled glance. "You don't think I could beat this guy?"

 

"Look, I don't know this guy at all, and I know you're good, even great." She defended herself. "But you're making this challenge on impulse, wouldn't it make more sense to try and collect more medals first?"

 

"Makes no difference to me," Dylan said. "I've been waiting for the chance to duel him for a long time. In the normal tournaments, I've never had that option. He's always first place." He and Ryu locked eyes; there was an obvious tension between them. Dylan's generally calm demeanor changing to a serious tone was something Allison wasn't used to seeing from him. In fact, she didn't remember seeing it at all. What had happened in their first duel to make things so personal? She wondered.

 

Finally, Ryu spoke. "The girl is right." He said bluntly, closing his duel disk. "You don't have your medal yet, this duel will have to wait."

 

"You kiddin' me?" Dylan challenged, growing frustrated. "What kind of answer is that?! You can't just turn down my challenge!"

 

Ryu sighed, though he knew that this was the only reasonable thing to do. "I'm not turning down your challenge. Like I said, you don't have your medal. Therefore if I win, it would make no difference." That logic was flawed and he knew it, but it wasn't the time yet.

 

"Come on, you can't tell me you're scared!" Dylan pressed him further. "Ryu I challenged you!"

 

Allison grabbed his arm, and the look in her eyes was strange. "Dyl, listen to him." She reasoned.

 

"Look, I have no plans of losing this tournament," Ryu asserted. "I can't shake this feeling that there is more to it than just winning."

 

"Hang on, what is that supposed to mean?" Dylan asked. "Figure it out," Ryu said. "They change the tournament on a whim? The National Series is drawing closer. A one-winner tournament sounds awful fishy to me."

 

Whoa no way... Dylan hadn't even considered that. Normally they used the tournaments as a way to get students engaged but...if there were National Series implications?

 

"It's just a suspicion, but I can't take any chances," he said, nearly staring a hole through Dylan in the process. "I will win. Consider this a pass. If you really want that rematch, win the most medals and make it to the finals. If you can do that, then I will accept your challenge."

 

"Damn it..." Dylan muttered under his breath, so quietly that almost no sounds came out. This was so embarrassing. Whatever Ryujin thought he was doing, "sparing" him...it only pissed him off. He knew he could beat him. He had to. It was the only goal he truly needed to accomplish before leaving the Academy. It was more important to him than anything, even the National Series. And it was all because of that duel.

 

---

 

About ten minutes had passed since the confrontation, and Dylan had barely said two words. Allison had gone with him to the Director's Office to retrieve his medal, where he'd told the secretary his name, but that was the extent of it. She wanted to ask him about the duel so badly. It was only one duel...why was he so fixated on it? "Dyl, I..."

 

"Don't," he cut her off. "I appreciate your concern, but I don't want to talk about it." He clenched his fists at his side, staring dejectedly at the ground. "There was so much they wanted from me. So much potential. I was supposed to be the best..."

 

"But ultimately I failed. That will always exist, no matter how hard I try to overcome it. Unless I can beat him. That's the only way to make it go away." His words were cryptic. She had no idea who "they" were, but it didn't take a genius to see how shaken up he was.

 

"Look, I don't know how to help you directly, but I do know this," Allison grabbed his shoulder softly and offered a caring smile. "If beating Ryujin means as much to you as you say it does, then you have to make it to the finals, which means you have four days to win as many medals as possible. And I think you can do it."

 

Dylan gripped the medal in his right hand and brought it to eye level. She was right. Ryu was underestimating him, but he would change that.

 

"Did I hear somebody say something about medals?" The voice belonged to a slim boy, one with tangled ginger hair and a pair of black glasses that sat on the bridge of his nose. He was dressed in a formal plaid attire but everything about him carried a weird feeling. He was quite creepy. But he had a duel disk on his arm, and that meant he was a valid target.

 

"Where the heck did he come from?!" Allison shouted, nearly jumping out of her shoes in fright. "I've already got a bad feeling about this guy!"

 

"Well that's awful harsh," Dylan said with a grin as he pressed the red button atop his duel disk to activate it. "Hey, hang in there with me okay? He may seem weird, but this guy's about to be my first win!"

 

"Ugh but why does it have to be this guy?!"

 

"You're the one who said I needed medals, and you're right! So I need to start now! There's no time to waste!"

 

"I suppose that qualifies as an acceptance of my challenge," the boy replied. "Ah, while I may only be a second year student, I will take pride in defeating someone of a much higher level."

 

"Whoa hold on, I recognize this guy now!" Allison exclaimed as her initial fear wore off. "He's a second year student by the name of Souta Higashi! He's a Year 2 student just like me and rumor has it he plays a Spider Deck! Ugh, just the thought gives me the shivers!"

 

"Insects, eh? Well, won't this be fun!"

 

"I am not sure "fun" is the word I'd use, but sure, let's go with that! You've fallen into the spider's nest and now there is no escape!"

 

---

 

DUEL!!

LP4000/4000

 

"It was my challenge, so it's only fitting I go first." Souta declared, drawing his starting hand with an eerie smile that reflected off his glasses.

 

“By all means,” Dylan nodded.  Meanwhile, Allison tried to keep her fear under wraps, to little avail.  Little did she know, it was about to get worse.

 

“I think this would be much more fitting with a change of scenery, don’t you?” Souta asked rhetorically, sliding a card into the first slot on his disk.  The ground began to shake as the floor morphed into a damp, grassy field.  Trees with twisting, knotted branches rose from the ground all around them, leaving only a small portion of sunlight visible through the tops of the trees.  “So I’ll begin with Verdant Sanctuary!”

 

“Don’t get too comfy just yet,” Souta warned.  “Because I’m also activating the spell Spider Web!” From deep within the forest, hundreds of webbed threads shot out from all sides, even grazing Dylan and Allison, the latter not taking too kindly to it.  The strands came together in the center of the field, assembling a giant web.  “Now that’s more like it!  So to get this show on the road, I call forth Hunter Spider (ATK1600)!”

 

The black arachnid, its legs spotted with orange, spanned about four feet and had two sharp fangs that could easily devour a trapped enemy.

 

[spoiler=Verdant Sanctuary]

Spell (Continuous)

When an Insect-Type monster is destroyed and sent to the Graveyard, its controller can add 1 Insect-Type monster with the same Level as the destroyed monster from their Deck to their hand.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Spider Web]

Spell (Field)

When a non-Insect-Type monster attacks, it is changed to Defense Position at the end of the damage step.  Its battle position cannot be changed until the end of its controller’s next turn.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Hunter Spider]

LV4/EARTH

Insect

This monster feeds on whatever it catches in its web.

1600/1400[/spoiler]

 

“I take it that’s the end of your turn, so I draw!” Dylan exclaimed.  He wasn’t intimidated by the insects, not even a little.  The only thing that had him slightly off guard was that Field Spell.  He knew full well what it was capable of.  ‘Spider Web’ would change any monster that wasn’t an insect and dared to attack straight into defense position after the battle ended.  It was a genius strategy because the monster would then become defenseless, allowing the Spiders to swallow it.  But, if he could get that Hunter Spider off the field, even if it meant his monster went into defense, then there was a good chance he’d be able to do something.

 

“You’re not remotely grossed out by these things?!” Allison shouted, having moved about ten feet away from where she was standing originally while still trying to cheer Dylan on. 

 

“While she may be annoying, the girl is right to be surprised,” Souta interjected with a smile.  “You seem far too calm for someone staring down what you’re staring down.  Once you enter the spider’s web, you become nothing more than dinner!  I dare you to attack me!”

 

Dylan cocked his head to the side.  “That’s cute.  But seriously, if that’s what you want, then it would be rude of me not to oblige!  Come forth, the mighty Cyber Dragon (ATK2100)!”

 

Almost resembling a metallic snake in its design, the all-metal dragon rose from the ground and let out a screech. 

 

“Excuse me?! That’s a Level 5 monster,” the boy cried.  “Summoning that without Tribute is against the rules!”

 

“Under normal circumstances sure, but Cyber Dragon’s just a bit different.  See, as long as you control a monster and I don’t, I can special summon it from my hand without having to pay any tribute costs!” Dylan exclaimed, curling his fingers into a fist.  “Now, Cyber Dragon, attack his Hunter Spider with Strident Blast!” The snake happily obliged, charging a beam of particle energy within its mouth and firing it directly at the spider, helpless to block it.  The remaining force from the attack nearly knocked Souta over, but he held his ground.

 

LP|Souta 3500

LP|Dylan 4000

 

The boy grimaced for a moment, but then his despair turned to a smile.  “You may have managed to take my spider down, but at what cost? You see, by attacking, your Cyber Dragon now become entangled within my web!” The dragon tried to resist, but the force of the sticky threads was too great, forcing it into defense.

 

“Your monster—!” Allison exclaimed, worriedly.  Dylan had walked right into a trap.

“Don’t worry about me, just try to keep yourself calm over there,” he smiled.  “I knew full well that Spider Web’s effect would kick in.  Even in Defense Mode, Cyber Dragon still has 1600 defense points, and with no monsters in play, it’ll be freed in no time!”

 

“I’m impressed with your knowledge,” Souta added, smiling once again and only increasing his creepy vibes.  “But unfortunately you didn’t take Verdant Sanctuary into consideration!  You see while it’s true that I don’t have another monster in my hand that would allow me to destroy your Cyber Dragon, Verdant Sanctuary makes up for that.  Once you destroy one of my Insects, Verdant Sanctuary allows me to search my Deck for any one and add it straight to my hand!” He cackled uncontrollably, searching his Deck for a card.

 

“Ah yes, this should do nicely.”

 

Damn. Dylan swore under his breath.  He hadn’t taken that into account.  What a simple thing to overlook.  Obviously there was a reason Souta had played Verdant Sanctuary first.  Nothing he could do about it now.  “I’ll set two cards and end my turn.”

 

[spoiler=Cyber Dragon]
LV5/LIGHT

Machine / Effect

You can Special Summon this card from your hand if your opponent controls a monster and you control no monsters.[/spoiler]

 

“Just as I suspected you would,” Souta drew his next card.  Oh, how wonderful it was.  Just the card he needed.  “You see, I could tell based on your state of distress that you would be the perfect opponent! Just like a spider, I wait until my prey has stumbled into a place where they will not think clearly.  And then, I capitalize and destroy them! Don’t believe me? Allow me to demonstrate it perfectly!”

 

He couldn’t let his emotions get the best of him.  The stress of things with Ryujin would have to wait – after all, if he wanted his duel he needed to win.  So he had to put it off for now.  And take whatever this guy had to offer.

 

“Now then, I summon Spyder Spider (ATK1500)!” This spider was smaller, with scrawnier legs and a much smaller body than the hunter, but it was still just as creepy.  Much of its body was radiated by a neon green color, and there were a set of spy goggles atop its head that were glowing in the same color. “And by activating the Spell Card Neutralizer Force, any monsters either of us control that are in defense position immediately have their defense points reduced to zero!”

 

Reduced to zero?! That wasn’t good.  Clearly Souta was building a lock, and it was working.  Now, any monster that attacked would be forced into defense mode with no way to defend itself.  And his Spiders would be free to attack as they pleased. 

 

“Let’s just see how strong your Cyber Dragon is now!  Spyder Spider, attack with Laser Cannon Shot!”  Firing two blasts from the goggles on its forehead, the spider annihilated Cyber Dragon down to rust in seconds.  “Oh and there’s something else! Whenever Spyder Spider destroys a monster in battle that’s in Defense Position, I can call forth a Spider from my Graveyard and Special Summon it to the field!  So please give a round of applause to the encore presentation of Hunter Spider!”

 

[spoiler=Spyder Spider]

LV4/EARTH

Insect / Effect

When this card destroys an opponent’s Defense Position monster by battle, you can Special Summon 1 Insect-Type monster from your Graveyard.  If it attacks, change it to Defense Position at the end of the Damage Step.

1500/1500[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Neutralizer Force]

Spell (Continuous)

When a monster is changed to Defense Position by a card effect, the DEF of that monster becomes 0.[/spoiler]

 

“Hunter Spider, attack his Life Points directly with Web Blaster!” From the creature’s two fangs shot a thickly spun web, striking Dylan directly.  After the attack settled, he noticed the larger spider, too, was forced into Defense Position.  But why?

 

LP| Souta 3500

LP | Dylan 2400

 

“Dylan, are you alright?!” Allison called out to him.  That attack looked painful.  She too didn’t understand what had happened there.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he assured her.  “What’s really got me concerned is the fact that his Spider changed to Defense Position, when Spider Web specifically states Insect-Type monsters are free from its binds.”

 

“Normally yes, but because I brought Hunter Spider back to the field with Spyder Spider, I’m forced to change it into Defense Position.  But it’s no matter, because even if you destroy my Hunter Spider, your monster will just be forced into Defense and the same exact thing will happen next turn!”

 

“Damnit, he’s right,” Dylan said.  “If I attack his Spyder Spider, he’ll take damage but then I’ll be forced into defense and his Hunter Spider will be free to attack.  If I take out his Hunter, Spyder will destroy me and then I’ll take another direct attack.  There’s no good outcome here!”

 

“Now do you see?! The power of my Spiders! No matter what move you make, there’s no way you come out of it on the winning end!” Souta burst into laughter, setting one card to end his turn.

 

---

 

This doesn’t look good at all, he’s totally trapped! The girl watched nervously, trying to believe in him but wondering how anyone could get out of a lock that literally shut down everything.  Dylan was going to have to find a way out, he would, right? She’d never seen him so passionate about anything, that duel with Ryujin meant something to him, and she wanted to do whatever she could to help him achieve it.  But on the sidelines, there wasn’t much.  “Dylan!” She called out to him.  “You got this.  I’ve seen you duel your way out of much tougher situations before! Just keep your head on straight and don’t think about anything right now but winning this duel! I know you’ve got what it takes!”

 

"Thanks," he nodded. "Don't worry, I've got no plans of giving up any time soon! Draw!" Awesome. He'd drawn Cyber Repair Plant. A spell card that let him search for any LIGHT machine and add it to his hand. If his idea was gonna work, this card was essential to the strategy. "I activate the spell card Cyber Repair Plant!" He said. "Now I can add one monster from my Deck to my hand, and it's all thanks to you. So come forth, Cyber Dragon Core (DEF1500)!"

 

A smaller, metallic red metallite rose from the ground, coiling around itself. "Now Core's effect activates, allowing me to add a card from my Deck to my hand!" Dylan exclaimed, setting the very card he'd added. "That's all for me."
 

Core was the perfect monster to draw. And arachnoid over here was about to find out why.

 

"You hyped that up as some kind of game changing play, but there's a reason I didn't fret," he said. "Because when the prey is aware they've been trapped, there's no escape! Now, I summon Dark Spider (ATK0)!" The third, sleek black eight-legged insect arose in-between the other two. It was smaller, but it's red outline was indicative of it's power. "What it lacks in strength, Dark Spider makes up for in support! When it hits the field, the Level of all Insects I control is boosted by one!"

 

[spoiler=Dark Spider]

LV1/DARK

Insect / Effect

Target 1 Insect-Type monster you control; increase it’s Level by 1, until the End Phase.  You can use this effect up to twice per turn.

0/0[/spoiler]

 

Interesting choice.  I’m not sure why, when he’s making a push aggressively, that he’d choose to summon such a weak monster just to boost the Levels of his monsters.  He could be planning to Xyz Summon, but I don’t get the sense that’s his playstyle. Still, Dylan knew he couldn’t afford to underestimate his opponent’s plays.  There was obviously some reason he’d chosen to summon Dark Spider, so the only answer was to stay on guard.

 

“You seem perplexed, so allow me to clear things up for you,” Souta offered, grinning from cheek to cheek.  “With Dark Spider now in play and the levels of both Hunter Spider and Spyder Spider being increased to five, I’m able to activate the Trap Card Ranking System!” 

 

His reverse card opened, depicting a series of level stars in a variety of colors.  It appeared to be supplying power to the hungry spiders on his field.  “Ranking System may not have any direct correlation to the insect monsters, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a very viable tool!  You see, if I control a Level 5 or higher monster and a Level 4 or lower monster at the same time, I can activate this Trap!  And if I do, all monsters I control gain two-hundred attack points for each of their Level stars!”

 

[spoiler=Ranking System]

Continuous Trap Card

Activate only if you control a Level 5 or higher monster and a Level 4 or lower monster. All face-up monsters you control gain 200 ATK x their Level.  You can only control 1 “Ranking System”.[/spoiler]

 

Hunter Spider: 1600 + 1000 = 2600

Spyder Spider: 1500 + 1000 = 2500

Dark Spyder: 0 + 200 = 200

 

As the trap card continued to strengthen them, the monsters grew in size, creating a totally different feel in the air.  Souta’s face told the entire story; this had been his plan all along, to set up a nearly unbreakable strategy and literally force his opponent to be the cause of his own defeat.  Any plays that Dylan made would directly affect Souta’s entire field setup.  It was absolutely brilliant.  As a duelist, one couldn’t help but not appreciate such things. 

 

“Now it’s time to bring an end to this!  It’s been fun, but unfortunately the old guard is out and the new generation of duelists is just beginning!  Hunter Spider, swallow his dragon whole with Devouring Demolition!”  The now-giant arachnid made its way towards Cyber Dragon Core, which was the only monster left on the field to protect him.  If it was destroyed, it was game over.  He’d lose his medal in the first round and there’d be no way to get his rematch.

 

Just because he admired the strategy, didn’t mean he had to let it go unchanged.  This kid was good, but they were on different levels.

 

“I’m afraid I can’t let that one go through!  Reveal trap, Cyber Network!”  Almost overlapping the virtual forest that surrounded them, lines of cybernetic energy connected to one another forming a square on the ground.  “You’re not the only one with access to some pretty useful tools, as you put it!  And let me show you what I mean!  Cyber Network allows me to banish a light Machine-Type monster from my Deck!  And while normally that wouldn’t change the outcome of this particular battle, the monster I’m choosing to banish is Cyber Dragon Drei!”

 

Just as the spider reached its target, another, much larger metal dragon appeared to take the hit instead, its remains forming a barrier around the weaker Core.

 

[spoiler=Cyber Network]

Continuous Trap Card

Once per turn, you can banish 1 LIGHT Machine-Type monster from your Deck.  You must control a face-up “Cyber Dragon” to activate and to resolve this effect.  When this card is sent from the field to the Graveyard: Special Summon as many of your banished LIGHT Machine-Type monsters as possible.[/spoiler]

 

“Why is your monster still alive!” Souta exclaimed angrily.

 

“Cyber Network let me banish Drei from the Deck, and in turn when Drei is banished, it grants immunity to a “Cyber Dragon” on the field throughout the duration of the turn!” 

 

“That trap is the only reason you’re still in this,” Souta grimaced, just seconds away from winning and beating a senior student, only to have the inevitable delayed infuriated him.  A win of this caliber would surely bring him to new heights in the eyes of the student body.  That was the reason he had set-up this duel in the first place.  He had seen Dylan duel before—the entire school had been present during the famous duel between Ryujin and the boy.  There was no mistaking his talents even if many of the students found him to be a bit…out there. 

 

So when he had discovered that Dylan was absent from class, it seemed like the perfect time to launch a sneak attack.  He developed a plan to hide outside of the Director’s Facility until Dylan retrieved his medal, which all students who weren’t present at the lecture would have to do.  Once he did, he would challenge him and not only be the one to defeat him and take his medal, but also be the one who eliminated Dylan from the tournament.  The plan was foolproof.

 

He had specifically designed his Deck to counteract the offensive strategies that Dylan’s Cyber Deck was known for.  Experience didn’t matter, it was all about the advantage.  And now he was going to seize what was rightfully his; recognition.  Something Dylan didn’t seem to care about, anyway.  Even in the duel, it seemed like his mind was in other places.

 

Soon the entire school would know the name Souta Higashi; and it was effortless.

 

Cyber Network, he hadn’t expected it to come into play.  But it was nothing but a minor roadblock.  All he had to do was remove it.  There would be no other means of defense.  “I set one card face-down, and now I’ll call it a turn.”

 

“Say what you will, but I held on another turn and that’s what’s important here!” Dylan asserted, drawing another card from his Deck.  “Now—“

 

“Just one moment,” Souta interrupted.  “Before you begin your last pathetic attempt at a futile defense, I activate the Trap I just set!  Explode Web!  By offering an Insect on my field as a sacrifice, I can destroy one card on the field, and I’ll offer Dark Spider to remove your Cyber Network from the equation!”

 

[spoiler=Explode Web]

Normal Trap Card

Tribute 1 Insect-Type monster you control and target 1 card your opponent controls; destroy that target.  During your Standby Phase, you can banish 2 Insect-Type monsters from your Graveyard; Set this card.[/spoiler]

 

Allison spoke out for the first time in a while; how had Dylan not seen a move like that coming? “No, not that!  The Trap was the only thing keeping you in the game!”

 

Souta, prepared to comment in agreement, stopped short in his tracks as a smile flashed across Dylan’s face. 

 

“I prefer to think it was more like the contrary,” Dylan replied, happily placing the card into his Graveyard slot.  A white light exploded from the Graveyard as the lines that formed the network on the forest floor dissipated.  “I was relying on you destroying my Cyber Network Trap solely because it was the one element I needed to win!”

 

“Hold on a second, how have you turned around so quickly?!” Souta roared.  “Just moments ago you were barely acknowledging the fact that this duel was even going on, and now you’re lively and full of energy! Is this some kind of act?!”

 

“Eh, you could call it that I suppose,” Dylan replied.  “All due respect, my mind is in other places.  I knew from the moment we met that you and I are two completely different people.  Dueling to you isn’t what it is to me, and I just find it bothersome to acknowledge someone who only cares about reputation.”

 

“Huh?!  What do you mean by that?!” The boy exclaimed.  There was no possible way Dylan could have been onto him this whole time; he had planned everything perfectly.

 

“Oh come on man, don’t play stupid,” Dylan laughed.  “I may not be the most alert person, but when it comes to dueling, I tend to take things a little more seriously.  You see, it’s in my blood.  And there’s something that I have to achieve.  So I can’t afford to be so careless all the time.”

 

“I may not always be observant, but of course I noticed you sneaking around outside the Director’s Office, scurrying off down the sidewalk to the outskirts of the city square,” he explained, as Allison listened intently wondering how he had even noticed something like that, as when they were walking his mind was in a totally different place.  “That’s why I paid it no attention, and got my medal.  I was actually going to go back to the dorm to make a few last-minute changes before I got started but since I’d seen you run off, I knew I had an opponent ready and waiting.”

 

“No way, that’s crazy,” Allison observed. “His opponent tried to set him up, but it was actually Dylan who pulled a fast one.  That’s why he was so eager to accept the duel; I thought this guy totally gave me the creeps and it seemed random that he’d appear to suddenly, but Dylan knew to expect it.  Don’t tell me he’s...don’t tell me he’s been just toying with this guy the entire time.  That’s not like him at all!  It’s like that confrontation with Ryujin woke something inside of him,” she acknowledged, noticing obvious changes.  “Is this the real Dylan?  If he’s this good, then why have I never seen this side of him?”

 

“You can’t be suggesting...” Souta trailed off.  He’d let himself get duped!

 

“I’ve been a student at this academy for four years now, do you think it’s the first time I’ve seen a lower grade student try to use another, higher-ranked student to gain some kind of popularity?” Dylan asked.  “The difference between you and I is that while you want to win for recognition, I need to win because I have no other choice!”

 

“Even then, I have no reason to believe you’re not just bluffing me!  You don’t have the assets necessary to beat me now!”

 

“Until you destroyed my Cyber Network, I didn’t, but now I do!” The burst of light covered the field and the feint roar of a new dragon could be heard as Drei took its place on the field alongside its smaller comrade.  “When Cyber Network is destroyed, the same monster it banished is then summoned to the field!  So feel the might of Cyber Dragon Drei (ATK1800)!”

 

“A far more impressive monster, I’ll give you that, but have you forgotten that your monsters are under the effects of my Spider Web?!  Even if you do make a Fusion, you’ll get just one attack and then you’ll be forced into defense position, where my insects will devour you...and put an end to this charade!”

Souta finished his sentence only to notice the reverse card that Dylan had just activated.  Suddenly, his spiders began to cry out as they were morphed by its magic, going from eight-legged insects to being coated in a metallic shell, actually falling through the defenses of the Spider Web and onto the forest floor.  THAT card?!  “No way...he’s not bluffing!  That card was the first card he set when the duel began...he really did outplay this entire game!”

 

“Oh that’s right, I forgot to mention, I activated the Trap Card DNA Surgery!  This Trap takes all monsters on the field and changes them to the Machine-Type!”

 

[spoiler=Cyber Dragon Drei]

LV4/LIGHT

Machine / Effect

When this card is Normal Summoned, you can make the Level of all “Cyber Dragon” you control 5.  If this card is banished, you can target 1 “Cyber Dragon” on the field.  During this turn, it cannot be destroyed by battle or by card effects.

1800/800[/spoiler]

[spoiler=DNA Surgery]

Continuous Trap Card

Declare 1 Type of monster.  All face-up monsters on the field become the declared Type.[/spoiler]

 

“My insects!  What have you done to them!”

 

“Since your spiders have become cyborgs, they’re at my disposal now!  By using Cyber Dragon Core, Cyber Dragon Drei, Hunter Spider, and Spyder Spider, I’m able to perform a contact Fusion Summon!  Come forth, the mighty creature, Chimeratech Fortress Dragon (ATK4000)!”

 

[spoiler=Chimeratech Fortress Dragon]

LV8/LIGHT

Machine / Fusion / Effect

"Cyber Dragon" + 1 or more Machine-Type monsters on the field

Cannot be used as a Fusion Material Monster.  This card gains 1000 ATK for each Fusion Material Monster used to Summon it.

?/?[/spoiler]

 

Shockwaves generated from the mere presence of the new, towering dragon that completely outshone any of the monsters which had appeared before it.  A creature build completely out of smaller monsters coming together to create a powerforce, Chimeratech Fortress Dragon exploded onto the field, letting loose a roar so strong it could be heard for miles.  Even though it would still fall under the spell of Spider Web were the duel not about to end, the dragon showed no fear of it, in fact being so large that it more or less disregarded it completely. 

 

“I suppose I should criticize you for going to such means just to earn a victory, but to be honest it’s almost admirable,” Dylan said.  “It’s not something I would do personally, but we’re in a competitive environment and winning is important.  If you aren’t willing to do what it takes to win, then you’re in the wrong profession.  So I commend you for the effort.  And perhaps if you had gotten lucky enough to find a senior student who didn’t have one thing driving them to win at all costs, the end result would have been different.  But alas, it’s over.  Chimeratech Fortress Dragon, attack with Strident Shockwave Stream!”

 

A mega-surge of energy blazed from the dragon’s mouth, completely eradicating the virtual forest and any traces of the spiders that went with it.  Souta cried out from the impact of the blast as he landed on the ground.

 

LP| Souta 0

 

DUEL END

 

---

 

Ryujin stood atop the tower that watched over the city square.  He scoffed aloud and smiled so slightly.  “I never thought I might anticipate the chance of dueling you again.  But if this drive will lead to you realize your full potential, then perhaps there’s actually a duelist at this Academy that is worth my time.”

 

He counted the number of medals in his pocket; nineteen, so far.  And Dylan had two.  Anyone who had a medal would make it to the finals.  But that didn’t mean there wasn’t still time for Dylan to lose his.  “Let’s see if that duel actually taught you anything.”

 

---

 

A dark, dreary shadow was overcast.  Avaritia could sense it, and the dark energy in the air nearly made him salivate.  To have been the first to be dispelled was an honor, and was itching to get started as soon as possible.  What made his job even more fun was the fact that his orders were so simple even the lowliest of pawns could carry them out.  He would certainly do so with ease, but that wasn't all he had in mind.  Taking out a couple of specific targets would be fool's work.  

 

Since the only command had been to ensure that they were all taken out, there was nothing to stop him from taking a few...extra measures.  He could feel his soul quivering at the thought of devouring their physical forms, so much power and raw energy to tap into.  Just beating them wouldn't be enough; there were limitless meals at his disposal! 

 

In fact, he presumed, maybe he would just take out all the designated targets, not just his own.  Going the extra mile...what a wonderful, kindhearted person he was.

 

He ran his tongue across his lips--he could hardly wait.[/spoiler]

[Synchronized]

Working on the third Chapter currently, just in case anyone was wondering.

[Ren✧]

Sorry no comment from me, I don't have much time to be on the internet in general, let alone devote time to getting some reading done. Will get it in so though, so please don't feel discouraged 

[Vector Nightmare]

Well... everything was going reasonably well and I was looking at a big improvement from the first chapter. Until Dylan apparently turned into Yagami Light.

 

Having the creepy little Insect user pull a "you fell right into my trap" on the main guy is actually a decent device that's been around since Duelist Kingdom, and I have no complaints with it. Having the main guy then reverse the situation via some quick strategic thinking (ala Yugi, Yusei), or some willpower hax (ala Judai, Yuma) is also acceptable. But having him pull a "NO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN IN MY TRAP ALL ALONG" when he doesn't even channel the "keikaku dori" personality like at all, that's just off-putting, even if it's on a relatively minor level.

 

It probably just boils down to... Dylan being undecided about what character type he wants to go along with. While I'm a fanatic advocate of the "don't just stick to one character trope - give characters depth" axiom, it's also very important to keep consistency in mind. Dylan has been switching around various personalities in just two chapters for really vague reasons.

 

Otherwise, two things that annoyed me a tad were Ryujin being "on top of things" so early in the story, with his Bad Feeling (TM) and such, and Allison being kinda too much of a cheerleader character here. Souta comes across pretty well for what he is, and your decision to leave the Main VS Rival duel for later was probably for the best, given the alternatives. Also, the duel was quite good, even though I would have preferred something a bit shorter / simpler, given that this is just the second chapter (and the first real duel of the story). Simply put, I found it difficult to get into the duel and follow it through, because I just aren't really invested in the story yet. A relatively shorter, "flashier" duel would've generally served as a better hook.

 

One interesting thing I'm liking is that Ryujin, the Rival, is using Scraps, whereas Dylan, the Main Character, is using Cybers. Thematically and even mechanically Scraps are more of an underdog deck, while Cybers are sort of a high-profile powerhouse deck, so normally you'd expect their roles to be reversed. This is the kind of "twist" that is actually good, even if you don't end up going somewhere deep with it, character-wise. Even though I do suggest that at least for the central characters, you always have to have a reason for them to use the deck they use, either (or both) thematically or in-universe.

[Synchronized]

Sorry no comment from me, I don't have much time to be on the internet in general, let alone devote time to getting some reading done. Will get it in so though, so please don't feel discouraged 

 

No worries man!  Appreciate it.  No rush, I'm not going anywhere haha

 

Well... everything was going reasonably well and I was looking at a big improvement from the first chapter. Until Dylan apparently turned into Yagami Light.

 

Having the creepy little Insect user pull a "you fell right into my trap" on the main guy is actually a decent device that's been around since Duelist Kingdom, and I have no complaints with it. Having the main guy then reverse the situation via some quick strategic thinking (ala Yugi, Yusei), or some willpower hax (ala Judai, Yuma) is also acceptable. But having him pull a "NO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HAS BEEN IN MY TRAP ALL ALONG" when he doesn't even channel the "keikaku dori" personality like at all, that's just off-putting, even if it's on a relatively minor level.

 

It probably just boils down to... Dylan being undecided about what character type he wants to go along with. While I'm a fanatic advocate of the "don't just stick to one character trope - give characters depth" axiom, it's also very important to keep consistency in mind. Dylan has been switching around various personalities in just two chapters for really vague reasons.

 

Otherwise, two things that annoyed me a tad were Ryujin being "on top of things" so early in the story, with his Bad Feeling (TM) and such, and Allison being kinda too much of a cheerleader character here. Souta comes across pretty well for what he is, and your decision to leave the Main VS Rival duel for later was probably for the best, given the alternatives. Also, the duel was quite good, even though I would have preferred something a bit shorter / simpler, given that this is just the second chapter (and the first real duel of the story). Simply put, I found it difficult to get into the duel and follow it through, because I just aren't really invested in the story yet. A relatively shorter, "flashier" duel would've generally served as a better hook.

 

One interesting thing I'm liking is that Ryujin, the Rival, is using Scraps, whereas Dylan, the Main Character, is using Cybers. Thematically and even mechanically Scraps are more of an underdog deck, while Cybers are sort of a high-profile powerhouse deck, so normally you'd expect their roles to be reversed. This is the kind of "twist" that is actually good, even if you don't end up going somewhere deep with it, character-wise. Even though I do suggest that at least for the central characters, you always have to have a reason for them to use the deck they use, either (or both) thematically or in-universe.

 

Appreciate the comments, as always.

 

Let me try to explain from my perspective.  What I was trying to do was create a situation where the protagonist isn't in a situation where they have to worry, if that makes sense.  So often, especially in Yu-Gi-Oh! anime and Fan-Fiction, the characters find themselves in situations that they have to overcome and win, and while it's used because it works, I just wanted to try something a little different.  I wanted to establish that Dylan was in no way an underdog duelist and that he's very skilled.  Obviously, he's going to run into people that are more skilled than he is, and those duels will mean more because it's been shown how good he is.

 

I guess I went about it in the wrong way.  I'm glad you liked the build-up, though.  Would you say overall it was better than the initial Chapter?

 

As far as Dylan's character goes, there's some things I'm trying to implement and I'd like to think they're working well, but maybe not well enough.  His character does have a backstory that will eventually make sense, but the way I'm going about getting there may not be the best way.  I'll try and be a bit less "all over the place" in regards to his actions.

 

The Cyber Dragons and Scraps respectively definitely have their place and aren't just random.  There's actually some cool elements in play there that I haven't showcased yet, because I don't think the time is right.  However, I'm glad that's something you actually liked and hopefully when it is expanded upon, it will pack the punch I'm expecting.

 

The duel between Dylan/Ryujin will happen eventually, obviously, but I want it to be a major point of the story.  I think too often the rival either gets beaten in an upset defeat or squashes the protagonist and that becomes the focus of the story.  Well here, we know there's an issue between the two of them because of something that happened in their last duel, but we don't know what.  We know Dylan has to beat him for some reason, but that's about it.  Who won their last game? How? Why? These are all questions that I look forward to answering in the story because I think they will make for some interesting reading.

 

As always, appreciate the comments like I mentioned earlier and I'll try and make changes accordingly!

[Synchronized]

[spoiler=Chapter 3: Honor Code Part One]
Chapter 3: Honor Code Part One

"I hope you're ready for this, Tensho," the female voice echoed into the man's earpiece. He could hear her clearly despite the rapid propelling of the helicopter in the background. "Your time frame here will be limited. Even in costume, it's not worth the risk that they notice you, so I would make it as quick and effective as possible."

"Gwen, we've gone over this multiple times now," he scowered back at her, quietly enough that the pilot would not attempt to overhear the conversation, though the spinning of the blades made that highly unlikely.

Dressing as one of those Academy students was already annoying. What were these uniforms made of, anyway? They were uncomfortable as all hell. But he had to give himself credit; he pulled off the look quite nicely. "Unless you'd care to repeat the entire spiel again?"

She grunted, but thousands of miles away there wasn't much she could do, despite how frustrating his arrogance sometimes made her. "You better cool it or I'll fly out there myself," she threatened emptily. "I know you think you have all the answers but we can't afford to get noticed; don't you remember what Arthur said?"

"Arthur this, Arthur that, I really don't care," he snapped. The figure in question was their boss, a rather calm man who never really placed as much emphasis on his orders as the girl did. They had a mutual understanding, really. As long as Arthur continued to hold up his end of the bargain financially, he could continue to follow orders. What this girl had trouble understanding about that, baffled him. "It's easy. I track the guy down, find out what he's really made of, and report back. I don't know what's so complicated about it."

"You and I both know you have tendency to let your pride get the best of you," she snapped. "Just because you're gonna duel this guy doesn't mean you have to beat him. All you have to do is test him."

"Yeah, yeah I got it," he shot back, followed by the quiet beep of him hanging up the phone. Sheesh, she was annoying. Well whatever, pride wasn't gonna come into play. No Academy student had what it took to beat someone like him. Might as well consider it mission accomplished.

---

"Cyber Dragon, finish him off with Strident Blast!" Dylan ordered as the charged beam hit his opponent, sending him stumbling. "There's medal number five."
He walked over to his fallen opponent, helping him up almost unenthusiastically. The boy, a third year student who hadn't really provided much of a challenge at all, handed him his medal dejectedly before seeing himself off.

“Nice one, that was over before it started,” Allison joked. She smiled, but she was the only one. Dylan, while appearing somewhat content, was lacking that positive emotion. His entire demeanor had changed since the confrontation with Ryu, despite the number of duels he’d won in a relatively short period of time. About two hours had passed since the tournament’s start and he already collected four. She wondered to herself if Ryujin had gotten that many yet, but decided it best not to bring that up. If Dylan kept putting in performances like these, he’d make it to the finals in no time.

Dylan didn’t read too much into the first few wins; there were so many students participating in the tournament that it was obvious the weaker ones would be eliminated first. That’s just the way it worked. But there were only so many poor duelists to go around. Eventually, the only ones left would be the top tier talent. And as a result, these easy wins weren’t going to mean much.

“Thanks, but these duels don’t mean much of anything,” Dylan said. “Sorry if I’m lacking your enthusiasm; there’s no way it’s going to be this easy—none of the tournaments are ever this easy. Even with a change in format, I expect that only the best duelists will make it to the finals and that’s where skill is really gonna come into play.”

“That’s how all the tournaments go, isn’t it?” Allison inquired, trying to make sense of what he was getting at. “Why would it be any different now? You’re not afraid of a challenge; you made that explicitly clear when you tried to face Ryu earlier.”

He nodded, then shook his head. “It’s got nothing to do with being afraid. I keep thinking about what he said. If it’s true that there might be some sort of National League implications, some students who need to make it there might take drastic measures to ensure their victory. In other words, I’m worried about the possibility of Ryu being eliminated before we get a chance to settle things once and for all.”

“No way, you can’t be serious,” she said with a wide-eyed stare. “Ryujin’s the best duelist the Academy has.” She didn’t think about how Dylan might take that statement, but thankfully he seemed to pay it little attention. “You saw how impressive that comeback was he made earlier, remember? I don’t think you have anything to worry about. If anyone’s going to eliminate him from the tournament, it’s gonna be you.”

“You don’t understand,” he snapped, growing irritable. “You’re still new here so the implications of the National League don’t resonate with you, but there is nothing bigger. There’s an audience of millions that watches, hundreds of duelists that partake. For those looking to become pros it’s the most important thing in the entire world. There are some who would do whatever it takes to get there.” He let those last few words hang on the tip of his tongue for a moment before releasing them into the air, seemingly zoning off into a distant memory.

“I get that, but this isn’t the National Series. It’s just a weekly tournament. Honestly, I think you’re making it a way bigger fuss than you should,” she said.

“Look, you don’t get it!” He shouted at her, only afterwards trying to reign himself in, then sighing. “Listen, I appreciate the support, but I think I’m gonna do this on my own. “I need to beat him. Until then, I’m stuck. This may not mean anything to you, but to me it is.”

“Dylan, wait,” she tried to reason with him, wondering now if she had crossed a line.

He put his hand up. She hung her head, but decided not to follow him. This was a totally different person than before; she had never seen him so passionate about anything, but it was almost like it had overtaken him completely. Why did this duel mean so much to him? It was a pressing question, but with each moment that passed she found herself more and more drawn towards needing to find the answer.

---

Tensho scrolled through the messages in front of him for a moment, clicking off his phone as the helicopter landed on the Academy’s landing base. The student uniform would still take a little getting used to, but if everything went the way he was hoping, he wouldn’t be stuck in this place for more than a few minutes. “I shouldn’t be long,” he said to the Pilot, who could finally hear him now that the sound of the blades had stopped. “Keep watch for when I return here, but don’t stay on the platform. We’re trying to stay as concealed as possible.”

“Gwen, send me the statistics on this one again,” he said, speaking into the earpiece.

She kept him waiting for a moment. “Excuse me, how do we ask?”

He took a deep breath. Every part of him wanted to throw the stupid earpiece into the ocean off the dock and do this himself, but he had no one to blame; he should have seen her snooty attitude coming. “Send me the statistics on the one I need to locate…please,” he muttered.

“Now that’s more like it,” she giggled, taking great amusement in mocking him. “Was that so hard? Anyway, I just patched them over to you. The target’s name is Ryujin Tsunaka. Information about his whereabouts and dueling deck were included. Appearance as well. He’s actually kind of cute, much more than you,” she joked.

“Good thing I’m not flying anymore, I already want to vomit,” he spat back sarcastically. Time to find this guy. “I’m out.” He said, hanging up.

“Sheesh, not even a thank you?” Gwen joked aloud, but he wouldn’t hear it. “Sometimes I wonder why I even help you in the first place.” They had their moments, but that aside, her mind was really focused on whether or not things were going to go smoothly. Tensho was the best duelist they had in their employ, but with that talent came responsibility and restraint, neither of which he was particularly good with. I just hope you don’t screw it up too badly.

---

Assistant Director Hirosaka was seated in an office chair, but on the opposite side of his desk rather than at it. He was staring at a picture hanging on the wall. It had been there as long as he could remember, a photo of every director together from the Director's Conference five years ago. Once a year every year before the National Series began, every Director from every Academy in the world got together for an open forum, where ideas were discussed, some even implemented, and in general just an opportunity to clear the air.

That conference was just two weeks away now, and he had just received a phone call from the Director that unfortunately, he would be unable to make it. And so Hirosaka would have to go in his place. The Director had cited a family emergency as his reason but something just didn't sit right. After what had transpired last night, and now this, Hirosaka was feeling a little uneasy.

The timing of these events couldn't possibly be more coincidental.

Even if for some reason his suspicions were justified, there was no way to go about confronting them. The Director had the absolute full authority over everything that happened here. He could fire him in half a second without any questions and that would be the end of it.

“Hirosaka, sir, the status report you requested.” A woman slightly younger than him, sporting flowing brown hair and wearing a black mini-skirt entered the room and smiled, placing a stack of papers on his desk.

“Thanks Tanya, impeccable timing,” he replied. She nodded and showed herself out. He shuffled through the stack of papers. Five hours since the tournament had begun and already two-hundred students had been eliminated. They didn’t have an exact count of how many were remaining in the tournament since the policy allowed students to enter until the end of the first day, although those who chose to wait would be at a significant disadvantage.

While it was true anyone with a medal would automatically make it to the finals, the system was designed to reward those who had received more medals and not show so much favor to those who may have chosen to hide and take the easy way out. Once the finals began, those with the least medals would be automatically paired up against those with the most medals. So what may have been gained by waiting until the end of the day to enter and get a medal, was ultimately useless because it would mean there was a good chance you got paired up against the school’s best duelists.

He had to admit, with the change in tournament structure so quickly, he was surprised to see the amount of students that had signed up without a second thought. All of this was so sudden, but the only thing that really had had him off guard was that strange feeling he got from the card...

Maybe he was just overthinking things—he needed to get some rest. At this point, there was nothing he could do but let the tournament play out.

But first, he had one phone call to make...

---

Ryujin had propped himself up against the wall for a moment, just taking in a few breaths of fresh air. So far, he had accumulated twenty-three medals, easily more than any other competitor in the tournament. He didn’t care so much about having the most, especially because he was confident he could beat any opponent regardless of the finals’ pairing system, but the more medals he got, the sooner the tournament was to reaching its conclusion. If he could eliminate more duelists from the equation before the fourth day of competition, there would be fewer duelists in the finals. Simple as that.

There weren’t too many others around him, as most were dueling or mourning their defeat. But after a few moments of relaxation, a blue-haired boy entered the equation, wearing an Academy uniform and sporting a duel disk on his arm, though his medal wasn’t visible. He almost looked lost. Unless he did so first, Ryujin had no intention of challenging him.

The boy was about to speak when suddenly his jaw dropped as they locked eyes. Ryujin didn’t know what to make of it; it was a bit unexpected.

“Can I help you?” He asked, somewhat rhetorically.

“I—I’m sorry,” the boy said, hanging his head. “I’m new here, and I’ve been trying to find an opponent that looks like they’re tough enough to challenge!”

The way he worded that was strange. A new student this close to the National Series? That was highly unlikely, unless he was a transfer. “Hm, and I look like that type of opponent? Tell me, how many medals have you collected?” Even though Ryujin wasn’t totally buying into this kid’s story, he figured he’d play along.

“Medals?” The boy asked, shrugging his shoulders, but then catching himself at the last second. “Oh, right! Sorry!” He laughed awkwardly, holding the back of his head. “I almost forgot! I don’t have them on me!”

Ryu shot him a look that made it clear he wasn’t buying into it, and the boy swore under his breath. Damnit, I couldn’t look any sketchier right now. How was I supposed to know medals were involved?

“Is that so?” Ryu pressed. “So I take it then that you’re a participant in the tournament?”

“Of—of course!” The boy exclaimed. “Like I said, I’ve been trying to find the best duelist here and everyone says you’re that guy!” Even saying that made his stomach turn—this guy may have had a somewhat intimidating look, but he was no more than an Academy student. A small fish in a slightly smaller pond.

“Well, if you don’t have your medal, I don’t see how it’s worth my time to beat you right now,” Ryu said. “But, you seem awful determined. I tell you what, I’ve got more than enough medals right now—if you’re so sure you can beat me, then let’s see what you’ve got.”

Truthfully, Ryu didn’t care about his reputation amongst the school. He’d never call himself the best, that was the worst mentality to have. Especially when it came to dueling. But he wasn’t afraid of any opponent. He wasn’t believing a word that came out of this kid’s mouth. Regardless of whatever he was trying to do, a duel was a duel. And there was no point in declining his challenge. I’ll see if I can’t get some answers out of you. I’ve got a good feeling I know what you’re really up to.

Heh, he let his ego get the best of him, the kid said. I was afraid that was going to get confusing for a few seconds there. “That’s what I like to hear! You can call me Tensho! And I’ve got no reason to ask your name because you’re Ryujin Tsunaka! But I don’t care about that, there’s no challenge too strong for me to tackle! Get ready cause here I come!”

DUEL!

Ryu|4000
Tensho|4000

Every year around this time, the National Series would send out scouts to all the different schools. More often than not, they would act as students or Professors, whatever was more acceptable to fit their style in order to get a look at the students they may have been interested in. While it was just a hunch, Ryu had a feeling this guy was one of them. And if his hunch was accurate, beating this guy could only help his chances of making it.

The only thing he found weird was that if this guy was a National Series scout, surely he would’ve been informed of the tournament and been given a “medal” so as not to make himself look suspicious. Maybe they were just going for the obvious. Oh well, it didn’t matter. It was game time.

---

Tensho was almost kicking himself at that near fail. Thankfully, the kid was naïve enough to accept his challenge anyway. All he had to do was “test his skills”, but he could tell just from looking at him that he was nothing more than an overrated Academy senior. He didn’t see what Arthur was so interested in to begin with.

“I’ll go first! Draw!” He exclaimed, giving the cards in his hand a once-over. “I summon Silent Honor Endurance Knight (ATK1550)!” Clad in aqua blue armor and brandishing a longsword, the knight stepped forth from his card with a fierce cry. “And when Endurance Knight hits the field, I’m able to take a spell from my Deck and add it to my hand. Just so happens that I’ll grab Honor Code – Sword of Absorption and equip it to my Endurance Knight!”

Holding out his hands, the knight’s sword changed to an aqua blue that matched the color of its armor. It became emblazoned with a wave-like symbol and a blue aura. “That should be enough.”

[spoiler=Silent Honor Endurance Knight]
LV4 / WATER
Warrior / Effect
When this card is Normal Summoned: You can add 1 Equip Spell Card from your Deck to your hand. If this card is used as Xyz Material for an Xyz Summon: You can target 1 Set card on the field; return that target to its owner's hand. You can only activate 1 "Silent Honor Endurance Knight" effect per turn, and only once that turn.
1550/1500[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Honor Code – Sword of Absorption]
Equip Spell Card
Equip only to a WATER Warrior-Type monster. The equipped monster cannot be targeted by your opponent's card effects. If the equipped monster would be destroyed by battle or by a card effect: You can destroy this card instead.[/spoiler]

“You’d think, but I’m afraid I’m about to disappoint you!” Ryujin wasn’t paying the knight much attention, but it didn’t take a fool to see there was a reason he’d upgraded his weapon so quickly. Time to find out what that reason was. “I summon Scrap Shark (ATK2100) in attack mode!” The rusted tin conglomerate of recycled parts taking the form of a shark with layers of razor sharp fangs arose from the dirt in front of them.

“Next, because Scrap Shark is on my field, I can Special Summon Scrap Orthros (ATK1700) from my hand!” The quadrupedal mech, crouched in a hunting stance and ready to strike, took its place on the field alongside Ryu’s other monster.

[spoiler=Scrap Shark]
LV4/EARTH
Fish / Effect
If a Spell, Trap, or monster effect is activated: Destroy this card. When this card is destroyed by the effect of a “Scrap” card: You can send 1 “Scrap” monster from your Deck to the Graveyard.
2100/0[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Scrap Orthros]
LV4/EARTH
Beast / Tuner / Effect
This card can only be Special Summoned by controlling a “Scrap” monster. When you do: You can destroy 1 “Scrap” monster on the field. If this card is destroyed by the effect of a “Scrap” card and sent to the Graveyard: You can add 1 “Scrap” monster from your Graveyard to your hand.
1700/1100[/spoiler]

Scrap Orthros was a Tuner, Scrap Shark was not. With just two cards, he’d been able to create a scenario in which he could summon his ace monster. Talk about making a strong first impression. This guy was about to get a taste of what he was really capable of. “Now I tune Level 4 Scrap Orthros with Level 4 Scrap Shark to Synchro Summon...the ultimate creature built from the scraps themselves...Scrap Dragon (ATK2800)!”

With a thunderous impact, the winged metal dragon descended from the skies, its massive size towering over everything else around them. If people hadn’t noticed that there was a duel going on yet, Scrap Dragon’s appearance would likely change things.

Heh...bringing out a monster like that on the first turn? Sure, I’ll bite. Maybe the kid’s got a little skill. Tensho acknowledged. Or maybe it’s just a lucky break. Let’s see what this contraption can do.

“You don’t seem all that shaken,” Ryu said, further reinforcing his belief that this guy wasn’t a student. “That impresses me. But once you’ve felt the wrath of my dragon, I’m not sure you’ll be so calm and collected! Scrap Dragon, attack his Silent Honor Knight with Twin Blaze Burst!”

The knight stood steady as two simultaneous blasts of fire were shot in its direction, holding its sword up against the combined might of the attack, being pushed back extremely far but still managing to hold on, until the sword shattered.

Tensho|2750

Ryu nodded, noticing the warrior was still on the field. “Just like I thought,” he said. “I knew there was a reason you’d played that sword and then proceeded to leave the rest of your field unprotected. Even though your knight has survived the attack, you still take the damage!”

“Oh I’m well aware,” he said, trying to maintain a “competitive spirit”. “But that’s alright because my monster was spared!”

“For now, but let’s see how long you can keep that defense strategy up,” Ryu replied, placing two cards face-down.

[spoiler=Scrap Dragon]
LV8/EARTH
Dragon / Synchro / Effect
1 Tuner monster + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters
Once per turn, you can target 1 card on each player’s side of the field: Destroy those targets. If this card is destroyed by your opponent’s card and sent to the Graveyard: You can Special Summon 1 “Scrap” monster from your Graveyard, except a Synchro Monster.
2800/2100[/spoiler]

“Oh don’t worry, I’m not gonna be playing defense this time around! Here comes Silent Honor Rebellion Commandant (ATK1650)!” Cloaked in a blue robe and wielding a long two handed shield, the monster arose and took its place on the field. “And now since I’ve got two Level 4 monsters, I can overlay them both in order to Xyz Summon! If you thought your monster was something to marvel at, just wait until you see what I’ve got in store! Come forth, Silent Honor ARK (ATK2100)!”

The bluish gray ship hovered downwards, with two huge spikes extending from it, one on either side that acted as a means of defense. It was big, but Scrap Dragon still towered over it. There was no doubting its power, though. And Ryu had no plans to take it lightly.

I’ve never had an opponent overcome Silent Honor ARK, so there’s no reason to believe this guy will be the first. Tensho said, taking pride in his monster’s presence. Dueling was in his blood; he would do whatever it took to get the job done, and Arthur knew that. No matter how much Gwen may have worried and complained about his “pride”, he always provided results. And this time would be no different.

“Now by using both of Silent Honor ARK’s overlay units, I can target one monster on the field that was Special Summoned and then—” He paused for effect. “My Honor ARK absorbs that monster!”

It does what?! Ryu exclaimed. He’d set a Trap to protect his monster from destruction but...this was an entirely different type of effect. There was no way for him to stop it. As both spheres circulating ARK vanished, the spike shields on both sides opened upwards, creating a vortex that began to pull the dragon in. Ryu was forced to watch helplessly as his monster became nothing more than a meal, attaching itself to the kid’s monster as an Xyz Material.

“You noticed I wasn’t afraid of your dragon and I have to commend you for that! There’s no reason to be afraid when my monster is superior!” Tensho exclaimed, remembering he had to try and stay in character as best he could. But he couldn’t help himself—he found it irritating when kids like this got so much praise despite being lackluster at best. “Now it’s time to put this newfound power to use! Silent Honor ARK, attack his Life Points directly with Chaos Excellion Force!”

Ryu|1900

[spoiler=Silent Honor Rebellion Commandant]
LV4 / WATER
Warrior / Effect
If you control a WATER monster that is equipped with an Equip Spell Card, you can Special Summon this card (from your hand). "Silent Honor" monsters you control gain 350 ATK. If this card is used as Xyz Material for the Xyz Summon of a WATER monster: You can target 1 face-up monster on the field; return that target to its owner's hand. You can only activate the effect of "Silent Honor Rebellion Commandant" once per turn.
1650/1600[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Silent Honor ARK]
LV4/WATER
Aqua / Xyz / Effect
2 Level 4 monsters
You can detach 2 Xyz Material from this card to target 1 Special Summoned monster your opponent controls; attach that target to this card as Xyz Material. If this card would be destroyed: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card instead.
2100/1600[/spoiler]

Ryu stood up, breathing heavily. He was fine, but the impact of that monster’s attack was nothing to take lightly. If Scrap Dragon had been destroyed, he would have been able to find a way to bring it back to the field. But in this case, while it was trapped as an overlay unit under that thing, he was going to have to improvise.

“That was a hell of a move and I’d be fooling myself if I tried to say otherwise,” he nodded. “But don’t get too confident just yet! We’re only just getting started! Your ARK is going down!”

---

Allison had found her way to the Assistant Director’s office, the same place they were handing out medals to those students who wished to enter the tournament still. Though time to enter was running short, there were still medals left.

She was confused by all of this and had no idea why Dylan was acting the way he was, but if there was one way to get his head on straight and try to get the answers out of him, it was through the one thing that seemed to be a definite—duel monsters.

“Yes, Allison Kijiro, 2^nd year,” she said, showing her Duelist ID card to the woman at the booth. “I’d like to enter the tournament, please.”

To be continued...[/spoiler]

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Oh hai thar.

 

So I finally made the effort to get round to reading chapter one, and putting aside every reserve I have for duel academy fics, here goes:

 

I have one or two minor nitpicks with the actual writing. The 'what's so important about the National Series you ask?' feels fourth wall breaking, which only works if it's actually deliberate and for humour and is funny, IMO. Also writing numbers as numbers, like 3%, is something I just don't like to see personally.

 

The evil director is fairly... well, did I miss something or couldn't he get the cards himself? Supposed he needed to give a reason/explanation to someone rather than just swipe them, I guess. There's a line again which I found unsettling from Hirosaka the supporting; "this was a powerful man and it was best to avoid making him angry. He'd seen a few people make that mistake, but never anyone make it twice." Well... why's that? Does he have their heads chopped off or dunked in acid or something? And Hiro hasn't gone to the CIA yet?

 

We move on from the Evil Director and Hiro to our hero Dylan, who is awoken by his alarm to realise he has overslept and missed class. So... either it took over an hour or more for him to stir to the sound of his alarm... or he actually set it to go off at 9:30. For after class. In this case, I immediately come to the conclusion that Dylan is an idiot.

 

Except he's not an idiot. He is: "he was such an exciting duelist to watch...Out of 800 students in Ryos, Dylan was ranked 85th. But as great as Dylan was, he had no idea what he wanted." Oh... k... well doesn't this feel like immediate Mary sue building, again to me anyway. Describing a character in story as great like this, again kind of irks and puts me off him. I get you don't want to have a Jaden/Yuma character, but... instead we have this 'great guy' without a purpose and already has the traditional cheergirl chasing after him.

 

And shortly afterwards we get the rival guy, who, with the unexplained custom card (I kind of understood how it worked despite the decieving name, athough I'm assuming stuff on guesswork) makes a spectacular reversal against the kid who had been beating down this other supposedly great guy. What a lot of great guys there are at this academy. Ain't it swell? And this great guy has no physical description of any kind I noticed, so immediately I have Shark appear in my head in his place, possibly because of the similar name to Ryoga, or maybe because of the use of Scrap Shark, and now he won't budge. Speaking of Scrap Shark, another thing that irked me during the writing was the: "Ryu's deck was powerful because of it's explosive potential. He played a "Scrap" deck, the likes of which had earned him his reputation." Well, why not just go with "I activate Stardust Shimmer" *Dramatic reactions and wonder as stuff happens and monsters appear* "By banishing Scrap Shark..." and so on, which would make that evident in a more natural way. And all the saying throughout about how he was going to win, and his reputation, and just... ugh...

 

And then we end with the challenge, which again comes off so Yuma vs Shark-esque, and then all of the vague evil scene, and we're done.

 

So in summary: although there are good intentions and the writing is mostly short and snappy and to the point and keeps the plot rolling, it jars in places with the above mentioned which took me out of the story and made me think about stuff. And because I came out and thought about stuff, it made me think about the lack of depth to the characters, how they're just described up front as "this guy is great duelist with high reputation" and all so perfectly told up front rather than shown, and yeah... to be honest I'm not digging it so far. I'll give it a few more chapters though for you as you have got a good rep here and I believe you could turn it around, but I hope it does quick because so far... yeah... sorry :(

[Synchronized]

Oh hai thar.

 

So I finally made the effort to get round to reading chapter one, and putting aside every reserve I have for duel academy fics, here goes:

 

I have one or two minor nitpicks with the actual writing. The 'what's so important about the National Series you ask?' feels fourth wall breaking, which only works if it's actually deliberate and for humour and is funny, IMO. Also writing numbers as numbers, like 3%, is something I just don't like to see personally.

 

I can already tell without reading this review any further that the majority of what follows will be negative.  There were...quite a few things to not like about Chapter 1 especially because I was on the entirely wrong track character wise.  So everything you're about to see is more than likely justified.  But let's see.

 

The evil director is fairly... well, did I miss something or couldn't he get the cards himself? Supposed he needed to give a reason/explanation to someone rather than just swipe them, I guess. There's a line again which I found unsettling from Hirosaka the supporting; "this was a powerful man and it was best to avoid making him angry. He'd seen a few people make that mistake, but never anyone make it twice." Well... why's that? Does he have their heads chopped off or dunked in acid or something? And Hiro hasn't gone to the CIA yet?

 

Not to say that he killed them or anything like that; maybe they were fired, or punished, etc.  This part I wanted to leave open to the imagination, you know? Let the readers decide for themselves if he's just a bad guy, like someone you don't want to make angry, or if he's actually a bad guy.  He's the Director (President) of a major Duel Academy, the idea of someone in that position of power being somewhat intolerable isn't too far out of the question.

 

We move on from the Evil Director and Hiro to our hero Dylan, who is awoken by his alarm to realise he has overslept and missed class. So... either it took over an hour or more for him to stir to the sound of his alarm... or he actually set it to go off at 9:30. For after class. In this case, I immediately come to the conclusion that Dylan is an idiot.

 

Except he's not an idiot. He is: "he was such an exciting duelist to watch...Out of 800 students in Ryos, Dylan was ranked 85th. But as great as Dylan was, he had no idea what he wanted." Oh... k... well doesn't this feel like immediate Mary sue building, again to me anyway. Describing a character in story as great like this, again kind of irks and puts me off him. I get you don't want to have a Jaden/Yuma character, but... instead we have this 'great guy' without a purpose and already has the traditional cheergirl chasing after him.

 

Like I addressed in what I think was my first response to Vector, almost every Mary-Sue character that we see especially in these kind of fics are underdog duelists who don't have too many friends or are underestimated and have to work their way to the top.  I'm trying to tell a different story here.

 

And shortly afterwards we get the rival guy, who, with the unexplained custom card (I kind of understood how it worked despite the decieving name, athough I'm assuming stuff on guesswork) makes a spectacular reversal against the kid who had been beating down this other supposedly great guy. What a lot of great guys there are at this academy. Ain't it swell? And this great guy has no physical description of any kind I noticed, so immediately I have Shark appear in my head in his place, possibly because of the similar name to Ryoga, or maybe because of the use of Scrap Shark, and now he won't budge. Speaking of Scrap Shark, another thing that irked me during the writing was the: "Ryu's deck was powerful because of it's explosive potential. He played a "Scrap" deck, the likes of which had earned him his reputation." Well, why not just go with "I activate Stardust Shimmer" *Dramatic reactions and wonder as stuff happens and monsters appear* "By banishing Scrap Shark..." and so on, which would make that evident in a more natural way. And all the saying throughout about how he was going to win, and his reputation, and just... ugh...

 

What I was going for was the attempt to build him up as someone that was not only respected, but one of the Academy's best students, if not the best.  I wasn't going for a Shark vibe at all.  I'm not too big a Zexal fan and if anything I'd argue he's more comparable to Zane/Ryo than Shark.  But maybe that's just a different interpretation.

 

And then we end with the challenge, which again comes off so Yuma vs Shark-esque, and then all of the vague evil scene, and we're done.

 

So in summary: although there are good intentions and the writing is mostly short and snappy and to the point and keeps the plot rolling, it jars in places with the above mentioned which took me out of the story and made me think about stuff. And because I came out and thought about stuff, it made me think about the lack of depth to the characters, how they're just described up front as "this guy is great duelist with high reputation" and all so perfectly told up front rather than shown, and yeah... to be honest I'm not digging it so far. I'll give it a few more chapters though for you as you have got a good rep here and I believe you could turn it around, but I hope it does quick because so far... yeah... sorry :(

 

Yeah, there's definitely plenty of room for improvement.  One of the main issues, too, was that I created almost two character perspectives for Dylan, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but they don't mesh well together and he flips back and forth so drastically that it just takes you out of the story.  That's something I'm working to improve and establish a "darker" tone overall as far as his character is concerned.  He's obviously got some skeletons in his closet that relate to past events and that's part of the story-telling.

 

The plan is obviously to get a lot more into the depth, something I think is done well for Ryu at least during 3-4, where it's established (although it's a minor spoiler, it doesn't detract from much) that he's obviously looked up to by some of the other students as a somewhat "representative" of the Academy.  They know many of them can't beat him, but they also don't want to see others beat him, either.  I think it's an interesting dynamic but again opinions will obviously and understandably vary.

 

There are some elements I'm trying to work into it and one of the most important aspects has been taking the criticism and advice of those who have read it and changing them for the better.  

 

So I appreciate the lengthy review and again the criticism is totally helpful.  I'm applying it to every new piece I work on to make sure I get things on the right track, as I do have an end game in mind, sort of.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Yeah, there's definitely plenty of room for improvement.  One of the main issues, too, was that I created almost two character perspectives for Dylan, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but they don't mesh well together and he flips back and forth so drastically that it just takes you out of the story.  That's something I'm working to improve and establish a "darker" tone overall as far as his character is concerned.  He's obviously got some skeletons in his closet that relate to past events and that's part of the story-telling.

 

The plan is obviously to get a lot more into the depth, something I think is done well for Ryu at least during 3-4, where it's established (although it's a minor spoiler, it doesn't detract from much) that he's obviously looked up to by some of the other students as a somewhat "representative" of the Academy.  They know many of them can't beat him, but they also don't want to see others beat him, either.  I think it's an interesting dynamic but again opinions will obviously and understandably vary.

 

There are some elements I'm trying to work into it and one of the most important aspects has been taking the criticism and advice of those who have read it and changing them for the better.  

 

So I appreciate the lengthy review and again the criticism is totally helpful.  I'm applying it to every new piece I work on to make sure I get things on the right track, as I do have an end game in mind, sort of.

 

I'm sorry I've been mostly negative, I keep doing that in reviews without highlighting so much of the positive. And yet I wonder why other people who comment on my stuff mainly pick up on negatives? :mellow: Wow, this is actually quite hard and I really feel like a jerk. The Shark thing I think it was literally more cuz he had a similar name and used Scrap Shark that put that image in there. My complaints about the director aren't massive and can see what you mean about leaving it to interpretation; so I guess I just went a bit wild. Cuz I want all of the evil. :)

 

Well, I dunno. It wasn't really obvious he has skeletons at this point at all looking at him, quite the opposite and he seemed quite carefree, and as for 'obviously it'll get more indepth'... well, okay. I will stick with it and comment again when I get around to chapter 3 and if the stuff I mentioned does help then good, I guess, although I'm sorry I didn't mention as much as positive as I would like to think I'd try to. Because there are one or two positives. The actual writing style is - the things I raised aside - good, albeit vague in places. And it's a well described world and everything is set up quite nicely and effectively. As for this tournament, well I kinda like tournaments and haven't seen vast amounts of them around here, so I'm happy with it :)

[Synchronized]

[spoiler=Chapter 4: Honor Code Part Two]

Chapter 4: Honor Code Part Two

 

“Whoa, what’s that?”

“No mistake about it, that’s Ryujin alright.  I’ve heard that dragon’s roar so many times I couldn’t possibly forget it!”

“Well, we already lost our medals...might as well go check it out!”

“Duel’s probably gonna be over by the time we get there!”

 

---

 

A monster like that more or less confirms my suspicions.  He’s definitely not a student here.  Silent Honor ARK was a monster he’d never even heard of, never mind seen before.  Now that he thought about it, the Silent Honor concept as a whole was new to him, and that was rare.  So either this kid had come across some extremely exclusive cards, or he wasn’t who he claimed to be.  Ryu had decided, already, that he was going to get his answer either way.

 

“It’s my turn, I draw.” His options weren’t as strong as he would have liked.  Because of Scrap Dragon no longer being on the field, none of this combos would be set off effectively.  Quick thinking was the only solution.  “I activate the Spell Card Supply Unit from my hand!  And then, I summon Scrap Kong (ATK2000)!”

 

The bipedal primate, made entirely of recycled metal, appeared on the field wielding a half-broken chainsaw where its right arm would be.  No sooner was it summoned, that it began to break down into a pile of parts. 

 

“Uh, hang on,” Tensho interrupted, playing the part.  “Why would you summon Scrap Kong of all things? If you summon it normally, it’s instantly destroyed!”

 

“Precisely the reason why I did it.   Because thanks to Supply Unit, when a monster on my field is destroyed, I can instantly draw an extra card from my Deck!” He exclaimed, drawing as the pile of scraps began to disappear.  “But that’s not all, because of Scrap Kong’s special ability, I can add a Scrap Monster from my Graveyard back to my hand! So Scrap Shark, come on back!”

 

[spoiler=Scrap Kong]

LV4/EARTH

Beast / Effect

When this card is Normal Summoned, destroy it.  If this card is destroyed by the effect of a “Scrap” card, you can add 1 “Scrap” monster from your Graveyard to your hand.

2000/1000[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Supply Unit]

Continuous Spell Card

Once per turn, when a monster you control is destroyed by battle or by a card effect: You can draw 1 card.[/spoiler]

 

“But I’m not done yet, because even though Scrap Shark is back in the game, I’ve already used my summon this turn on Scrap Kong, so I’ll have to relegate to this!  Scrap Breaker (ATK2100)!” Ryu shouted as he placed the monster on his duel disk.  A metalloid creature with no legs hovered above the ground.  It was large, and both of its arms were comprised of metal cannons.  “If you control a monster and I don’t, Scrap Breaker can come out free of charge.  Granted, there’s a cost—it’s destroyed during the End Phase, but that’s alright, because I planned on using it to take down your ship!  Scrap Breaker, take out his Silent Honor ARK with Ionized Burst!”

 

There was a huge explosion in the center of the field as the two monsters collided, but when it cleared, the fallen remains of Scrap Breaker lined the field, and Tensho’s ARK stood strong, though with no remaining overlay units.

 

“His monster survived the attack?!” Ryu cried in revelation.  “But how, there were no other cards on his field...”

 

“Let me clear up the confusion for you,” Tensho interjected, smiling for a moment but catching himself.  Again, he had a part to play.  As the young student trying to make a name for himself, he couldn’t exactly act all arrogant.  Though in his head, this duel was a no-brainer.  “See, because Silent Honor ARK detached an overlay unit, it protected itself from destruction!”

 

Damn...Ryu swore at himself.  He should have seen that one coming.  For the second turn in a row, the kid had left his field wide open despite having nothing but a monster.  That meant he had no need to waste cards on a defense strategy when Ryu was playing right into his hand.  He had to get his head on straight and focus.  Otherwise he’d lose.  And that wasn’t an option.

 

“Well played, but my turn’s not over just yet!  If Scrap Breaker is just gonna be destroyed by your ARK, I might as well put it to better use, by activating the face-down card Scrapstorm!” He declared.  “With this, when my Scrap monster would be destroyed, I can send a different Scrap monster from my Deck to the Graveyard, and then I’m allowed to draw an additional card!”

 

[spoiler=Scrap Breaker]

LV6/EARTH

Machine / Effect

If your opponent controls a monster and you control no monsters, you can Special Summon this card from your hand.  If you do, destroy it during the End Phase.

2100/700[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Scrapstorm]

Quick-Play Spell Card

Send 1 “Scrap” monster from your Deck to the Graveyard and if you do, draw 1 card.  Then, destroy 1 “Scrap” monster you control.[/spoiler]

 

“Draw all the cards you want, but that’s not going to change the outcome of this one,” Tensho grinned.

 

“We’ll just see about that,” Ryu said.  There was no way he could afford to lose this.  Not to this kid.  He wasn’t ready to lose just yet.

 

“You’re right, I guess we will,” Tensho replied as he drew his next card.  He’s resourceful, I’ll give him that.  I haven’t seen him let one single card go to waste.  Even still, that doesn’t mean much of anything.  He can get all the cards he wants; if he can’t make a play then there’s no reason for me to be worried.  He had to admit, Ryujin was probably better than the majority of the students here, but that wasn’t saying much.  None of them were worth the investment, in his humblest opinion.  It was time to bring this little test to an end.

 

“You’re finished, and so it’s my turn now,” Tensho declared, quickly drawing a card.  Interesting that he’d draw this now, but definitely a p

ositive.  Whatever attempt his opponent might make at a comeback would be quickly shut down now.  “I summon Silent Honor Hydro Dispel (DEF1350) in Defense Mode.”

 

The sage was cloaked in a dark blue robe as he used his staff to kneel down on the field, hovering over the horizontal card beneath him.  Even though he’s low enough that another attack from ARK could knock him out, he’s still got that face-down card and I’m not gonna risk it.  With Hydro Dispel now on the field, if he does somehow manage to survive this turn, I’ll be ready to stop whatever he might do.

 

[spoiler=Silent Honor Hydro Dispel]

LV4/WATER

Spellcaster / Effect

When your opponent activates a Spell Card: You can tribute this face-up Defense Position monster to negate the activation and effect of that card and if you do, destroy it.  If this card is used as Xyz Material: You can target up to 2 “Silent Honor” monsters in your Graveyard; attach those cards to 1 Xyz Monster on the field as Xyz Material.

1300/1350[/spoiler]

 

“I’ve established my defenses so now it’s time to end this game!  But I’m not naïve! That trap card you have set, there’s a good chance you’re planning to use it to defend yourself.  And if that’s the case, then you’d better play it now, because otherwise you’re done for!”  Tensho thrust his arm into the air, ordering ARK to take aim.  “Silent Honor ARK, attack his Life Points directly with Chaos Excellion Force!”

 

---

 

Ryujin was relieved, but only slightly.  His Trap would save him, but had Tensho summoned that monster in attack mode, the story might have been different.  Thankfully, the kid was playing cautiously just in case.  He wanted to say it was a rookie mistake, but his gut told him there was more going on here than what it seemed.  Still, he had to stay in it if he wanted to find out.  “You’re right, I do, and I’ll activate it now!  Reveal trap, Half Unbreak!”

 

Ryu|950

 

The force of the blast was strong, but he was still holding on when the smoke cleared.  “Thanks to my trap, any battle damage I take during this turn is halved, so as you can see, I’m still here.”

 

“Nice play!  You’re lucky this turn, but now you’re out of traps and with this card I’m setting, I’ve got a feeling you’re not gonna be taking another hit and surviving,” Tensho grinned, making a fist and trying to play the part of determined.  This was too easy.

 

The “Silent Honor” Deck was one of a kind; there was an answer to every play and he had spent years perfecting his strategies.  No academy student was gonna pull a fast one on him.  As far as he was concerned, test was over.  Just to put the finishing touches on a job well done.

 

[spoiler=Half Unbreak]

Normal Trap Card

Target 1 monster on the field.  This turn, that monster cannot be destroyed by battle and any battle damage you take from battles involving that monster is halved.[/spoiler]

 

Ryu scowled before drawing, then—huh, wait, what was that?  He sensed someone.  A small crowd had gathered around them watching the duel, but that wasn’t what he was paying the most attention to.  On the edge of the cliff overseeing the path on which they were dueling, Dylan had revealed himself from the shadows of the trees, watching the duel intently.  Interesting that with his renewed focus in the tournament, he’d spend time standing around watching a duel like this when he could be working on getting more medals.  Certainly the timing of it was odd.

 

Nevertheless, Ryu grinned, drawing a card.  If he was gonna make a comeback, now was his one and only shot.  And thankfully, the card he’d just drawn would help him get there.

 

“Whoa, no way, Ryujin’s actually losing?!”

“Looks that way, but who the heck’s he dueling? I’ve never seen that kid before!”

“No idea man, but he’s gotta be pretty good if he’s got Ryu on the rocks!”

“I’ve seen him come back from worse than this, there’s a reason he’s the school’s best ya know!”

“I dunno, I’ve just got a weird feeling about this...”

 

How weird, Tensho observed.  It was almost like the other students looked up to this guy, despite being clearly overshadowed by him.  They feared his skills and wanted to be able to defeat him, but didn’t want to see him lose, either.  Something intriguing about his mystique.  Well, for an academy kid anyway.  I still don’t see what makes him so special, but whatever...sorry kid, gonna have to break your illusion of grandeur.

 

Ryu overheard the comments from the small crowd but didn’t pay them too much attention.  It wasn’t the first time he’d made a comeback—his Deck was prepared to make the most out of any situation, that’s what made Scraps so strong.  There was always a way.  But this time, he’d grown a bit concerned.  This guy—the more the duel prolonged, the more he began to speculate that he had no association to the National Series at all.  He couldn’t be sure, but the kid seemed to be putting no effort in at all and still easily handling him.  Exactly who was he?

 

“So what, you give me that speech about how I’m not ready and then you let some random kid wipe the floor with you?”

 

He glanced upwards at Dylan, who wouldn’t look at him directly, but seemed to be trying to motivate him, in a completely uncharacteristic way.  “What’s it to you?  There’s no medal on the line here, even if I lose you have no reason to fear if a rematch is what you desire.  You’re wasting your time here.”

 

“I’m not sure you get it.  I have to beat you.  There is no other way,” he explained.  Tensho found himself engaged in the exchange despite not understanding what was going on.  It was obviously another student, but he had no idea who and he really didn’t care.  But the passion there was quite evident.  “But that’s a personal goal for me.  Winning this tournament, honestly I could care less about it.  For you, that’s a different story.  People look up to you—you have the makings of a pro duelist.  That’s the you I want to beat, the Ryujin that’s at the top of his game and won’t let anyone get in his way and stop him from achieving victory.  So why don’t you stop letting this guy get in your head.  It doesn’t matter who he is—you’re dueling.  All that should matter is that you win.”

 

Huh? He looked at Dylan, who wasn’t speaking with too much fire but was clearly trying to tell him something.  Something he’d lost sight of for a moment.  This entire duel he’d been racking his brain trying to find out exactly who Tensho was and what he wanted, why he’d come here to challenge him.  But that answer wasn’t as important as winning was.  Because he had to win.

 

“Forgive me, I got distracted from our duel for a moment.  Now, back to the game,” Ryu said, not replying to Dylan’s words.  “I activate the Spell Card Stardust Shimmer!”  His field became aglow with bits of magical energy, lighting up the already bright path further.  “By taking two of my Scrap monsters and removing them from play, I can special summon a Synchro Monster from my Graveyard!”

 

“Not so fast,” Tensho said.  “By offering my Silent Honor Hydro Dispel as a tribute, I can completely negate and nullify your spell!”

 

“Fine by me, thanks to my plays with Supply Unit last turn, I’ve got more than enough cards to make another play!  At least now your Hydro Dispel is gone.” And that just leaves the one face-down card.  If I can get rid of that, I think I can win this.  “Let’s try this turn what I couldn’t do last turn!  But first, I activate the Field Spell Card Scrap Factory!”

 

The area around them became covered by a virtual warehouse, filled with all sorts of parts and recycled pieces of “Scrap” monsters.  “Scrap Factory offers an additional two-hundred attack and defense points to all of my Scrap monsters! So now, when I summon Scrap Shark (ATK2100) once again, your Silent Honor ARK won’t survive another attack!”

 

“So close, but I didn’t forget you had Scrap Shark in your hand, either!” Tensho pressed a button on his duel disk, revealing the set card.  “I activate the Trap Card Honor by Rank!  This trap activates when you summon a monster who’s level is equal to the Rank of an Xyz Monster on my field, and then proceeds to destroy that monster!”

 

[spoiler=Stardust Shimmer]

Normal Spell Card

Target 1 Synchro Monster in your Graveyard; banish from your Graveyard monsters whose total levels equal that monster’s Level, then Special Summon that monster.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Scrap Factory]

Field Spell Card

“Scrap” monsters you control gain 200 ATK and DEF.  If a “Scrap “monster you control is destroyed by a card effect: You can Special Summon 1 “Scrap” monster from your Deck.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=Honor by Rank]

Normal Trap Card

When your opponent Normal Summons a monster whose Level is equal to the Rank of an Xyz Monster you control: Destroy that monster.  Then, you take damage equal to the Rank of 1 Xyz Monster you control x100.[/spoiler]

 

Tensho|2350

 

"My Trap requires I take minimal damage, but I ain't sweatin it!" He exclaimed proudly.  This was game over for sure.

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure just yet.” Ryu crossed his arms and stood confident as his Field Spell began to take effect, its various parts and assembly lines starting to move and take action.  “When you activated your Trap, while you did destroy Scrap Shark, you also triggered the effect of my Scrap Factory!”

 

“I did what?!”

 

“Scrap Factory takes effect when a Scrap monster is destroyed by a card effect, and when it does, I’m able to call forth a different Scrap monster directly from my Deck!  Rebuilt from the remains of his fallen comrade, Scrap Golem (ATK2300) arises!”

 

The heaping clunk of metal with a refrigerator for a torso stepped off the factory’s assembly line, standing strong.

 

He’s got a counter to every play, damn that’s annoying.

 

“Here comes my grand finale!  By activating Scrap Golem’s special effect, I can call forth a Scrap monster from my Graveyard, so please give a warm welcome to Scrap Orthros (ATK1700)!”  Even though he had the play to win the game, something still felt off.  This kid could have legitimately won the duel last turn if he had simply summoned Honor Dispel in attack mode instead of defense.  “Playing it safe”, that wasn’t a legit reason not to make that last push.  This win wasn’t really a win.  But the question still remained...

 

[spoiler=Scrap Golem]

LV5/EARTH

Machine / Effect

Once per turn, you can Special Summon 1 “Scrap” monster from your Graveyard to either player’s side of the field.

2300/1400[/spoiler]

 

“I’ll tune Scrap Orthros with Scrap Golem in order to Synchro Summon the Level 9 Scrap Twin Dragon (ATK3000)!”  In a rage of mechanized might, the two-headed dragon rose, a collaboration of the parts used to put it together, only now they had come together to form a monster of unimaginable power.  It let out a fearsome cry from both heads, shaking the entire area around them.

 

“Whoa, Scrap Twin Dragon?!  I haven’t seen him resort to that card in forever!”

“Normally he wins before he’s gotta bring that out!”

“That’s true...but Scrap Twin Dragon is Ryujin’s mightiest monster.  I’ve never seen anyone take it down!”

 

[spoiler=Scrap Twin Dragon]

LV9/EARTH

Dragon / Synchro / Effect

1 “Scrap” Tuner + 1 or more non-Tuner monsters

Once per turn, you can target 1 card you control and 2 cards your opponent controls.  Destroy the first target and return the second targets to their owner’s hand.  If this card is destroyed and sent to the Graveyard, you can Special Summon 1 “Scrap” monster from your Graveyard.

3000/2200[/spoiler]

 

“That should wrap this one up.”  Ryu said, cold.  “By using Scrap Twin Dragon’s effect, I can destroy my own Supply Unit in order to return your Silent Honor ARK back to your Extra Deck!  At that point, your Life Points are wide open for an attack!  Go, Twin Burst Blaze!”

 

Tensho|0

 

DUEL END

 

---

 

“It’s about time you cut the act.  It’s obvious you’re not a student here, I’m not buying it,” Ryu said, lowering his disk and walking over to his opponent, who was on one knee recovering from the final blow.  “So tell me who you are, and why I shouldn’t report you to the authorities.”  He threatened, although he had no intention of doing so.

 

“I told you, the name’s Tensho,” Tensho replied, dropping the excitement from his voice.  Having to throw that game made him sick to his stomach.  “That’s all you need to know.  You may have beaten me today, but I can promise you it’s not going to end like that the next time we meet, Ryujin Tsunaka.

 

Gwen, patch in a command to the copter.  I’ll be there in less than three.  Get me out of here.  He said quietly, although it was likely that Ryujin may have heard him—she didn’t bother to mock him now; she could tell by the tone of his voice that now wasn’t the time.

 

“Right, it’s on its way,” she replied. “We’ll talk when you get back.”

 

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to take my leave.”

 

“By all means go,” Ryu said.  He turned to face the other direction and prepared to walk back out into the square.  “Perhaps next time we meet you won’t throw the game and I’ll beat you for real.”

 

Tensho felt his eyes widen as the rest of Ryu’s comments lingered.  How did he...Just who was this kid...and why did Arthur have such an interest in him?

 

---

Assistant Director Hirosaka yawned, arms outstretched as he stood from his desk and flicked off the light.  It was about time to go home and get some rest; he had so many things to sort out so the chances of a good night’s sleep were slim, but better than sitting in here.

 

He closed the door behind him quietly and made his way out to the main room, where he could see his secretary was getting prepared to do the same.  “I’ll be going then, Tanya.  You should, too.  We’ve got a busy day tomorrow.  Tournament will be in full swing.”

 

“Same to you sir,” she replied.  “Just trying to finish up a few last minute things.  Got a little caught up showing the new Professor the Research Lab earlier.”

 

Hirosaka was just about to leave the room when he heard the last thing she said.  “New Professor?” He inquired.  “Are you sure you’re not overtired? I haven’t authorized the employment of a new professor since before the semester started.”

 

“I’m certain of it. Professor Clay Bayton, just met him earlier.  Seemed like a really nice man, if not a little eccentric.  He’s apparently the new head professor for the Ritual department.”

 

New head professor for the...Ritual department? That was impossible—all signings went through him and him only.  This wasn’t good—it wasn’t good at all.  “There is no new professor...”

 

“But sir I...”

 

“Someone has been given unauthorized access to the research lab...that could mean...”

 

He bolted out the door—looked like he wasn’t going home after all.

 

To be continued...[/spoiler]

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

So chapter two has been devoured.

 

First off, I am glad Dylan and Ryujin didn't fight, and the reasoning was simple and fair rather making Ryu "you're not worthy of fighting me cuz I'm a jackass" so he came across alright.

 

Secondly, I like this Souta creep. Even if he does appear a bit Weevil incarnated, his personality fitted well in this role. Although I would have liked to have seen him being present in the background beforehand like he said he was rather than literally materialising out of thin air like he did. Dylan says he knew he was there (cuz Dylan is great and nothing gets by him), but I would have liked it had there been some hints of a figure lurking in the shadows. Kinda like in my fic (sorry for plug) but like there's always a subtle precursor to Urusula arriving on the scene to cause trouble.

 

Little thing that's annoying me at the moment is Allison. She's a second year, but doesn't know who Ryujin is despite him winning tournaments regularly, and doesn't seem to know too much about Dylan. She doesn't seem to know much in general, which is making her fall into the cheerleader role. She does have knowledge of Souta, which is fine given same year. Also little thing; again with the announcement of "oh watch out he uses spider deck." Just... can we please find that out by him summoning a spider?

 

Dylan doing the "I didn't fall into your trap you fell into MY trap" was, well you've already been panned for that once -_-

 

I'm largely okay with the duel, as the mistakes from Dylan were good given where they meant theme wise although again real internal turmoil would have been better and a rally when realising 'oh shit I'm gonna lose to this guy then never get my rematch' than 'I got this sucker all along cuz I'm great'. The slower pace established the calculating, methodic side of Souta really well. Card edits I can live with, although they could be more clearly explained in the speech proper when altered as sometimes they seem to contradict each other (see Neutralizer Force's spoiler for problem). Also last scene was pretty nice. Dylan using Cybers is... pretty cool I guess. The winning move was pretty nice too.

 

So, yeah, better, although Dylan and Allison remain problematic. :)

[Synchronized]

So chapter two has been devoured.

 

First off, I am glad Dylan and Ryujin didn't fight, and the reasoning was simple and fair rather making Ryu "you're not worthy of fighting me cuz I'm a jackass" so he came across alright.

 

I'm glad everyone seems to have liked that approach.  To me, it felt like a very "marketable" duel, and what I mean by that in this context is that it's the type of thing that will be way more meaningful if it's built towards instead of just happening in Chapter 2 and having no real meaning other than the sake of having a "big duel" at the beginning.  Obviously, and I'm not even sure it can be considered a spoiler, a duel between the two of them will happen eventually, but the hope is that with the right build-up, it'll be epic.

 

Secondly, I like this Souta creep. Even if he does appear a bit Weevil incarnated, his personality fitted well in this role. Although I would have liked to have seen him being present in the background beforehand like he said he was rather than literally materialising out of thin air like he did. Dylan says he knew he was there (cuz Dylan is great and nothing gets by him), but I would have liked it had there been some hints of a figure lurking in the shadows. Kinda like in my fic (sorry for plug) but like there's always a subtle precursor to Urusula arriving on the scene to cause trouble.

 

I probably could have done a little bit more to give the readers and idea that there was someone else there, I'll admit that.  Contrary to what Vector said, I actually think Dylan having prior knowledge of Souta being there actually made him seem smart and showed that he's not your typical protagonist, but that's a matter of opinion, I suppose.  He was a bit Weevil inspired, but that's not necessarily a bad thing, either.  There were obviously some noticeable differences but sometimes you just need that "villain" to create a foil for the protagonist and the Weevil type makes a nice fit for an introductory level one.

 

Little thing that's annoying me at the moment is Allison. She's a second year, but doesn't know who Ryujin is despite him winning tournaments regularly, and doesn't seem to know too much about Dylan. She doesn't seem to know much in general, which is making her fall into the cheerleader role. She does have knowledge of Souta, which is fine given same year. Also little thing; again with the announcement of "oh watch out he uses spider deck." Just... can we please find that out by him summoning a spider?

 

Yeah, some of that is by design, and some of that is poor scripting.  Her and Dylan have been friends for a while, but because her field of study is more along the lines of teaching (she wants to become a Duel Monsters instructor), she's not always associated with those who are going for the pros, which a good majority of the school is.  At the same time, the whole Souta thing seemed to make sense and I wanted to give an idea that maybe the kid was threatening, but again, you can't please everyone and I can see where it would have been more effective to do things a little bit differently for sure.

 

Dylan doing the "I didn't fall into your trap you fell into MY trap" was, well you've already been panned for that once -_-

 

Yeah, and I addressed it above, too.  I personally liked it and I think it was one of those things that works if you only use it sporadically.  Again, just my opinion.  And it's not something we're going to see all the time.  But Dylan's been a student at the Academy for almost four years, this kid's relatively new and there's no reason to believe that it's out of the realm of possibility for a senior student to have a sharper intellect or be more aware of these things.  It just appeared to make sense.

 

I'm largely okay with the duel, as the mistakes from Dylan were good given where they meant theme wise although again real internal turmoil would have been better and a rally when realising 'oh s*** I'm gonna lose to this guy then never get my rematch' than 'I got this sucker all along cuz I'm great'. The slower pace established the calculating, methodic side of Souta really well. Card edits I can live with, although they could be more clearly explained in the speech proper when altered as sometimes they seem to contradict each other (see Neutralizer Force's spoiler for problem). Also last scene was pretty nice. Dylan using Cybers is... pretty cool I guess. The winning move was pretty nice too.

 

Whenever I DO do card edits, I try to make them very subtle.  Sometimes I make changes just taking into consideration the fact that this is "Anime-world" based, and therefore some cards that have major nerfs or restrictions in the TCG/OCG don't necessarily need those here.  I can also see your argument about the internal turmoil and I think we'll see that, too.  I'll make a bit more of an effort to explain the card edits as well, because they do appear from time to time.  (For example, in Chapter 4 Scrap Orthros' effect is buffed so that it doesn't have to destroy a "Scrap" monster on summon, but it is able to.)  Just things like that which make for a bit more fluent dueling instead of coming up with completely new cards.

 

So, yeah, better, although Dylan and Allison remain problematic. :)

 

Great, glad to hear it!  And I'm working on it!  Although I think now that I have a better idea of Dylan's character direction, the rest of that will fall into place.  Allison is one I'm still working on, but hopefully Chapter 3 will give a little more upside to her character and start the process of making her more relevant.

[Synchronized]

Chapter 5.  Yay for exposition and actual plot development!

 

[spoiler=Chapter 5: Research and Development]

Chapter 5: Research and Development

 

I have to move faster...I’m afraid I may not make it in time...

 

It had been thirty years since the inception of Ryos Academy, and in that time the school’s massive intake of money had allowed them to upgrade their facilities to the best that the industry could offer.  Duel disks, stadiums, classrooms, teaching equipment—you name it, they spent the money to have it, in order to provide the best possible services for their students.  Rather than waste extra money on nonsense, it was always cycled back into the Academy; this had earned them a pristine reputation as one of the nicest schools in the world, and it was something they all took pride in.

 

While the entire Academy was top-of-the-line, they had also constructed a facility that...well, was not so well known to the general populous.  Hidden underneath the main dueling hall, the Research Center was a “study” of sorts, and only Professors and Administration had access to it.  Not only did it contain areas for scientific study, but also a collection of the Academy’s history; every single occurrence that had happened here, general knowledge or not, was stored within the Center’s protective walls.

 

Not necessarily designed for secretive purposes, the Center was the origin of many interesting discoveries as it related to Duel Monsters and the connections between this world and the other worlds around it.  Some of the world’s most elite professors had made discoveries here that were revolutionary.  However, some of them, the rest of the world wasn’t ready for.  As some of these experiments were conducted and the outcomes began to take a shocking turn, it was decided that the Research Center would be sealed off from the outside world, with the exception then of Professors and those above them. 

 

And so, after the graduation of Ryos’ first senior class, the Research Center was sealed off and not spoken of—the students had no idea of its existence and over time, anyone that might have remembered it had completely forgotten.  Things had worked out perfectly.  These risky experiments had been ordered to cease and desist for the safety of the general public, and so they had.  There were sometimes rumblings among the staff that tests were still being conducted, but there was no evidence to prove it, and so it was swept under the rug.

 

All of this in combination is what sent a jolt through Hirosaka’s body after hearing Tanya’s comments about the “new professor” being granted access to the lab.  Not only were there not any new professors, but in order for anyone to enter the lab, they had to have a Ryos ID card—it simply wouldn’t open without it.  Which meant that somehow, whomever this stranger was that she’d met with, well, he got in legally.  How in the world he obtained an ID card was another question in and of itself, and honestly one that he wasn’t so sure he wanted to know the answer to.

 

He could barely breathe anymore as he continued dashing and darting through the seemingly never-ending hallways of the Administration Building, making his way to the bottom floor.  A series of hallways connected the Research Center to a few different buildings, but only those with knowledge of its location would know where to go. 

 

I don’t understand, what would an outsider want to gain from the Research Center? Activity has been more or less dead there for years...

 

In what seemed like forever, he finally reached the large metal door that blocked the entrance to the connecting hallway.  He swiped his ID card against the scanner as the door opened sideways, illuminating the hallway in front of him before slamming shut quickly.  He continued making his way towards the center, but something stopped him in his tracks.  Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a Duel Monsters card on the ground.  He bent down to pick it up.  The base was green, a Spell Card, but the front of it was completely blank.  There was no picture at all.  This was getting more and more strange...

 

At his feet, he felt the ground begin to shake.  His mind had become fixated on the card for but a moment, temporarily sucking him out of reality.  He felt a gathering of energy, an extremely overwhelming surge of power, growing stronger by the millisecond as even the lights began to flicker above his head.  As he realized what was happening, it was too late.  There was a loud crash and a blaze of flames whisked through the steel walls on either side, annihilating everything around them.  He closed his eyes tight as he felt the heat blast him into oblivion.

 

---

 

The intense explosion was loud—it did not escape the ears of the students.  Almost all at once, the entire island froze as everyone stopped what they were doing as they felt the explosion rock the ground.  Strangely enough, they couldn’t see anything, but that definitely wasn’t a duel.

 

“What the hell was that?” The group of kids that had been watching Ryujin’s duel with anticipation began to chatter amongst themselves, many of them fixated on the crazy loud noise.

Ryujin scoffed, but said nothing.  He had no idea where it had come from, either.  But standing around waiting to find out wasn’t exactly the option he most preferred.  He pressed off his disk, gave Dylan one last glance, and took off.  The kids protested, but he paid them no attention.

 

“I’m so confused! What’s going on?!”

“I have no idea man, that was crazy!”

“Should we go check it out?”

“Er...I’m not sure if that’s the best idea!”

 

---

 

---

Tensho had neared the helicopter and signaled for the pilot’s landing as he nearly lost his footing all at once.  The ground shook beneath him, and he had to react quickly to avoid falling on his face.  At the same time, he felt a crazy amount of energy sweep across the docks. 

 

That definitely wasn’t duel energy...He observed, pondering for a moment whether or not he wanted to investigate it.  He didn’t want to spend any more time on this island, but it had piqued his curiosity.  Especially not if I could feel it from all the way out here.  So what the hell was it?

 

A familiar click activated his connection with Gwen, and he sighed before he called out to her.  “Postpone the flight for a few minutes, I’ve got something I need to see,” he ordered.

 

On the other end, she’d already begun chastising him.  “What are you talking about? Your orders were to test the kid and leave, don’t go getting into trouble, idiot!” She yelled, although she could tell by the tone of his voice he’d already made up his mind.  At least by attempting to reign him in, she came across like she was doing her job.

 

“Calm down,” he assured her, not wanting to hear the annoying screeching anymore.  “It won’t be long.  I just got a strange feeling—something tells me I might not be the only visitor on this island right now.”

 

“But that’s not your concern!  I thought you said you hated this place anyway? Why risk getting yourself into trouble or worse, getting caught? Just come back!” They’d known each other for years, but somehow Gwen had never been able to figure out exactly how the hell this kid worked.  One minute he was grumpy and miserable, the next he was like a curious child seeking for adventure.  It was so inconsistent, it made her head hurt. 

 

She had never understood his hatred for Ryos, or Academy Students in general, but it was more than evident.  Once, she had brought it up to Arthur, but he shook the question off and changed the subject rather quickly, explaining that he was just bitter. Of course she hadn’t bought it, but his hatred for the place seemed irrational, especially if it could provide them with stronger recruits. 

 

“Just shut up and let me handle it,” Tensho snapped.  The wind forces were strong, and whatever impact he’d felt had gone out into the water now, causing the waves to rise higher than usual.  His leather jacket, a midnight black, offered no source of protection from the wind and in fact, had nearly blown off in the process.  But he caught himself and tightened it.  “I’ll take full responsibility, so you can stop worrying.  In the meantime, do a scouting report for me and see if any unscheduled flights landed in this vicinity today.”

 

“Urgh, it wouldn’t hurt you to ask nicely!” Nevertheless, she cut him a break.  While her anger was visible on the outside, inside what was causing it was more or less her fear—history had shown that Tensho could be very stubborn and that’s what made him such a dangerous asset.  While he had his benefits as the best duelist in their employ, his mind often wandered.  And since she knew there was no way she was going to convince him to change his mind about this, she obliged his request.

 

“Check back with me once you get those results.  I’m going.” 

 

With one last sigh of hesitation, he took off towards what he presumed was the source.  Funny.  I never thought I’d see it again.

 

---

 

Everything had gone dark.  He could barely see, in fact.  Smoke had come and gone, and now it was almost as if everything around him had been completely destroyed, which was probably because it had.  Pieces of rubble from the now destroyed hallways still lingered, but the place was definitely ruined.  And somehow still, despite the fact that the explosion should have killed him, Hirosaka found himself still alive and well. 

 

About as well as one could be after a near-death experience, anyhow.  How had he survived?  There was almost no way it was even realistically possible.  His body was sore and he’d definitely gained some cuts from the wind forces, but he was well enough to move, if not a bit shaken up mentally.  He knew why, why the intruder had chosen to go to the Research Center.  He knew exactly what they were after, and it was why he was so afraid that he wouldn’t make it in time.  As soon as he’d felt that first wave of energy, it had become clear that he was too late. 

 

But even if they had retrieved it, that explosion was unlike anything he’d ever seen.  No doubt about it, someone had retrieved it, and then taken it upon themselves to destroy the entire place, leaving nothing behind.  He tried to stand, but his body and his mind both were still a bit thrown off from the initial shock, so he had to do so carefully.  As he did, he noticed the card he’d picked up moments earlier.  The blank Spell.  It was still blank, but as he looked at it a second time, he gained a vivid memory.  The card; that was what had protected him from the explosion.  He couldn’t make out the entire memory, but the card had formed a bubble-like shield around him, and that took the brunt of the attack.  It must have been strong, because his body was still kind of banged up.

 

He was lucky to be alive, and he knew it, but he had more questions than answers now.  At this point, the only option was to move forward.  If he had any hope of finding clues, they would be up ahead at what remained of the Research Center.

 

Hirosaka jolted his arm against the wall, and the real pain that he felt reassured him that he was still very much alive, though he couldn’t be sure how.  Even if the card had protected him, which seemed implausible in and of itself, the force of that explosion was nuts.  Either way, he had survived.  There would be time to sit down and figure out how, but now was not that.  Especially because it was likely he wasn’t alone down here.  The walls had been destroyed for the most part, but some sections that were more greatly reinforced had held up enough to give the underground corridors some semblance of structure still.

 

His eyes became somewhat adjusted to the darkness around him.  Perhaps the sensible move would be to go back the way he came—surely the explosion had only gone so far in that direction.  But there was also the chance that he would be blockaded in.  If pieces of rubble had fallen nearly as much as they had here, there might not be an exit.  He could be trapped down here.  What’s worse, if that was the case, there was no guarantee someone would be able to find him.

 

“I can’t believe after all this time, someone has finally come to find it,” he said aloud, speaking to no one but himself.  “I had always assumed such a day would come, but now?  It had been so long since anyone had even inquired about it—the research center had been a perfect hiding place, but it was almost not necessary, because its very existence was hidden for so long.”

 

Limping and pulling the weight of his sore and tattered body along the way, he made his way towards the center’s remains.  Each step was increasingly painful, but considering he shouldn’t have realistically survived, he couldn’t complain all that much.  He used the stone wall as a guide, occasionally tripping over pieces of brick that had fallen at his feet. 

 

Though his vision wasn’t great, he had been making it along fine.  As he neared the outskirts of the center, he gasped as the steel door that acted as a barrier had been blown to smithereens.  There was dim light from the remains of the lab, but very little.  What caught his attention was the figure standing in the back of the room.  A tall, middle-aged man oddly lacking any sense of facial hair and donning a black cape emblazoned with a bunch of odd, golden symbols.  The man hadn’t been even remotely phased by the explosion, though it was inherently obvious that he was the cause of it.

 

Judging by his calm stance and the sinister smile on his face, it was obvious he was expecting company.  By the time Hirosaka had reached the door, it was too late for him to retreat anyway.  Obviously this guy had wanted to lure him here, but why?  He was about to find out.

 

“Such a relief to see you’ve made it here in one piece,” the man cackled, thrusting his head back into the air and letting out a rigorous laugh.  “I was beginning to worry that the force of the explosion might have killed you.  Now, that wouldn’t have been nearly as fun.”

 

Well that confirmed as much.  Hirosaka tried to stand his ground, but in his current state he couldn’t have possibly appeared as even slightly intimidating.  “You...why have you come here?”

 

“Let’s not pretend this is something it isn’t, we’re both men here.  You know exactly the reason that I’m here, don’t you, Hirosaka Mayamoto.” The man reached into his pocket and flashed a small trinket.  It was a pink heart, carved from crystal, and he turned it over in his hands a couple of times, smiling at it like he had just garnered a prized possession.  “Just doing a little...collecting.  I must say, in its entirety this was even easier than I had presumed it to be, and I wasn’t really dreading it to begin with,” he laughed again, running the item through his fingers with a satisfied grin. 

 

He retrieved it…just as I had feared.

 

“Are you at a loss for words? I suppose I can’t really blame you for that, after all if I were in such a high-ranking position at such a prestigious Academy and allowed someone to slip through my defenses so easily that I practically handed over my most prized possession, I’d be a bit embarrassed too!” He roared with laughter, and Hirosaka hung his head.  “The Heartstone, one of eight.  Such a small, simplistic item, yet when combined with the force of its brethren, possesses power so great I can’t even begin to comprehend it!  Do you understand the excitement there?! How wonderful this truly is for me! This is just the beginning—I will harvest all of them!”

 

The man had lost it, apparently.  While Hirosaka had some knowledge of the heartstone, it was still something so unknown that they’d only begun to crack its history.  What little information they’d gained, and the dangers that came along with it, was the reason they had decided to cease research on it entirely, hiding it away in the research center.  With so few people even aware of its existence, the simplest hiding place was actually the most effective.  But it had been ordered to cease.  Whoever this man was, the fact that he knew of its existence was actually terrifying—because it meant that perhaps, they had a traitor among their ranks.  The safety of the entire school, the image they had worked so hard to create, if word were to get out about the fact that they had been concealing the heartstone for so many years...he feared what might happen.

 

“But forgive me, I’m getting ahead of myself.  It would only be fair for me to introduce myself—my name is Avaritia.  It is a name I suppose you will remember well, as it’s the last one you will remember hearing,” the man said, a very overwhelming darkness in his eyes.  “Retrieving the heartstone was important, but I’ve also been given some targets I must eliminate from the equation.  Don’t consider it anything personal, really, just some...safety precautions,” he ran his snake-like tongue over his lips, brandishing a duel disk on his right arm.  It was nightmare black with a gold trim, very similar to the cape he was wearing in design.  “Now that the heartstone is at my will, I can begin the soul collection process.”

 

“Soul collection? Are you mad?!” Hirosaka belted, still trying to make some sort of sense of this entire situation.  Avaritia’s body became encased with a pink aura, emanating from the heartstone no doubt.  The amount of energy surging through the room at that point was unlike anything he’d ever felt.  Just by grabbing it, the man had been able to completely command its power.

 

“Mad? No, quite the contrary!  In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my entire life!  This power, I can feel it surging throughout my veins!  And this is just one!  Can you imagine what we’ll be able to do if we collect them all?!  And the more souls we are able to collect, the stronger our Grand Design will become!  It’s truly a shame you are unable to witness this in its entirety, but I am afraid your journey will end here.  Now, if you possess the strength, activate your disk and accept your final duel!”

 

“I suppose I don’t have any other choice...” He hung his head once more.  There was nowhere for him to go, especially not with this guy going mad with power.  Trying to retreat would probably be a waste of time.  At least if he fought him on fair ground, he might stand a chance.  If he wanted to save the rest of the school and its reputation..."If I am to accept your challenge, should I win, you must agree to return the heartstone to me!"

 

Avaratia laughed uproariously, shaking his head.  "Now why would I agree to something like that?" He asked, smiling brashly.  "You're in no position to be making demands of any kind.  It's because of me that you're still alive.  Do I look like a fool to you?"

 

Hirosaka cringed, frustrated with himself for allowing things to get this bad so quickly.  But his enemy was right--why would he agree to those circumstances? He had no negotiating power at all here.  He had to get that stone back somehow.  If the public were to find out, he'd be screwed.  He'd probably even lose his job, or worse.  "What I can offer you is this.  If you were to defeat me, I will restore the damage done to your facilities and leave this island in peace...for now.  It won't matter soon enough, anyway.  But if it would make you happy to have some small "victory" to cling to, then that is my offer."

 

There was no other option--he had to accept, and hope that with a victory, things would somehow sort themselves out.  Because it was clear this guy wasn't bluffing; with what they had learned about the heartstone so far, power was just the beginning of what it could do in the wrong hands.  

 

"Then I accept your challenge."  He pressed the button on his duel disk to activate it, stepping back as his opponent did the same, the magical aura surrounding him acting as a source of light in the ruined remains of the research center.

 

"Very well, this should be a blast!  Well, maybe not for you.  But if it helps, just know your sacrifice is the first of many for a far greater cause: the Grand Design!"

 

To be continued...[/spoiler]

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Just hit Chapter 3, where things start to get serious.

 

[spoiler=Comments on Chapter 3]We start with the new man, Tensho... who at checking to refresh my memory isn't the evil character described at the end of Chapter 2. Which is fine either way I guess. But apparently he's another person coming to the school with ill intent. And with some backing of Gewn as his support from online, and working for some guy Arthur, who presumably gave him his own chopper. They are here to 'test' one of the students. I can already see where this is going; and I like it.

 

Back to Dylan and Allison. Dylan picks up his fourth win, so we can skip the meaningless jobbers that the anime always spends the first few introductory weeks on and move along, and Dylan takes his medal like it's all cool Allison says stuff about Ryujin being the best duelist in the school in such a way of awe that doesn't seem in character; I thought earlier she barely knew who Ryujin was? Or it might be my memory. Anyway, Dylan goes from his 'unpassionate about anything mode' (annoying setting)  to his 'deep-seated past trauma must settle score mode' (which is also annoying), and decides now that Allison doesn't understand him (well how can the poor lass when you won't tell her anything jabroni?) and goes off on the whole go it alone thing.

 

Now you might be thinking at this point I'm just repeatedly picking on Dylan at the moment after he's made a not great start and now he can do no right with me, but he's doing no right and is walking into every main character cliche full in the face, and his two moods are both just roughing me up. He shouts at his friend (who despite this is starting to show Kotori levels of blind-devotion) because of her not having a chance of getting him, and walks off.

 

Somebody needs to save this story.

 

Enter. Ryujin.

 

(Well, after another scene with Tensho and Gwen the disembodied voice. And then a nice little trnasition backstory with Hirosaka that was nice. Right sorted)

 

Enter. Ryujin.

 

Ryujin is challenged by some kid who has suspiously arrived at the school, who OHMYGAWDITSTENSHO! What happened to this guy? He's apparently had some unfortunate incident with a time machine since he was last on screen and has turned from 'a man' to a 'kid'. Which is... pretty much the extent of the physical description we got of Tensho in this chapter, which amounts to as much as Gwen the Disembodied Voice.

 

However despite Tensho confusing age issues, the best thing this chapter and I enjoyed the duel. I was a bit alarmed at first that apparently that first Silent Honour monster can seemingly add any spell to your hand, but according to the spoiler you just missed the word Equip in there. Kinda alarming mistype. but otherwise the duel was good and posed a nice interesting dilemma to our anti-hero. I like Silent Honour has an archetype and find it quite interesting, and the dropping of Number and stuff I'm fine with.

 

And the finish with Alison is also quite strong with her getting involved in stuff rather than just being a cheerleader, so it was a good way to wrap it up[/spoiler]

 

So... in summary. The format of the whole tournament and duel school is getting more into a good groove now I think, and your 'baddies' are fairly interesting and characters like Ryujin and Allison are getting better, and the plot is more clearly leading somewhere interesting than most. :)

 

It's just kinda silly things like Tensho being a man somehow duping people into thinking he's a student with no physical description (I know Gilag did it, but that was idiotic enough the first time!) and the exposition being done through the POV of disembodied voice we haven't seen anything of which wasn't for me personally, but not outright against. And Dylan. :(

[Synchronized]

Just hit Chapter 3, where things start to get serious.

 

[spoiler=Comments on Chapter 3]We start with the new man, Tensho... who at checking to refresh my memory isn't the evil character described at the end of Chapter 2. Which is fine either way I guess. But apparently he's another person coming to the school with ill intent. And with some backing of Gewn as his support from online, and working for some guy Arthur, who presumably gave him his own chopper. They are here to 'test' one of the students. I can already see where this is going; and I like it.

 

Can you? I'm not 100% sure.  But, I like that you've at least formulated an opinion quickly on it.

 

Back to Dylan and Allison. Dylan picks up his fourth win, so we can skip the meaningless jobbers that the anime always spends the first few introductory weeks on and move along, and Dylan takes his medal like it's all cool Allison says stuff about Ryujin being the best duelist in the school in such a way of awe that doesn't seem in character; I thought earlier she barely knew who Ryujin was? Or it might be my memory. Anyway, Dylan goes from his 'unpassionate about anything mode' (annoying setting)  to his 'deep-seated past trauma must settle score mode' (which is also annoying), and decides now that Allison doesn't understand him (well how can the poor lass when you won't tell her anything jabroni?) and goes off on the whole go it alone thing.

 

Yeah, I didn't see a point writing more "squash match" duels when there would be no reason for readers to believe that Dylan was actually going to lose.  Allison didn't know who he was originally, but in Chapter 1-2 you see clearly from Dylan and Ryu's exchange (which she's standing right there participating in), that she understands it and also understands that Dylan, for whatever reason, needs a rematch.

 

Now you might be thinking at this point I'm just repeatedly picking on Dylan at the moment after he's made a not great start and now he can do no right with me, but he's doing no right and is walking into every main character cliche full in the face, and his two moods are both just roughing me up. He shouts at his friend (who despite this is starting to show Kotori levels of blind-devotion) because of her not having a chance of getting him, and walks off.

 

It makes sense, though.  A lot of people have had criticisms of Dylan and a good amount of them are not without reason.  Still, even if he's not the main character, I think he plays an important role and that's one that I hope to get to.

 

Somebody needs to save this story.

 

Enter. Ryujin.

 

(Well, after another scene with Tensho and Gwen the disembodied voice. And then a nice little trnasition backstory with Hirosaka that was nice. Right sorted)

 

Gwen was communicating with him through a headset, but I'm assuming you picked up on that and were just trying to add a little.

 

Enter. Ryujin.

 

Ryujin is challenged by some kid who has suspiously arrived at the school, who OHMYGAWDITSTENSHO! What happened to this guy? He's apparently had some unfortunate incident with a time machine since he was last on screen and has turned from 'a man' to a 'kid'. Which is... pretty much the extent of the physical description we got of Tensho in this chapter, which amounts to as much as Gwen the Disembodied Voice.

 

Tensho was never stated to be an adult.  I did that explicitly, on purpose actually.  He's 18, the same age as Ryujin.  I didn't specifically go into details on age but I was also careful not to describe his appearance too much because I wanted to let his personality do the talking.  I did expand on the physical description of him a bit in Chapter 5, but I was going for more of a "show, not tell" approach.

 

However despite Tensho confusing age issues, the best thing this chapter and I enjoyed the duel. I was a bit alarmed at first that apparently that first Silent Honour monster can seemingly add any spell to your hand, but according to the spoiler you just missed the word Equip in there. Kinda alarming mistype. but otherwise the duel was good and posed a nice interesting dilemma to our anti-hero. I like Silent Honour has an archetype and find it quite interesting, and the dropping of Number and stuff I'm fine with.

 

Because I use the spoilers, sometimes I'll just try to make the dialogue a little less...explanatory, for lack of a better word.  Not sure if that makes sense, but it just seems a little less bland to do so.  I like Silent Honor as well and that's why I designed a custom archetype for him.  Dropping the Numbers is just better because I'm not incorporating Numbers as a plot element in the story at all so there's no point.

 

And the finish with Alison is also quite strong with her getting involved in stuff rather than just being a cheerleader, so it was a good way to wrap it up

 

Glad you liked this as well.  I know I made her out to be somewhat of a cheerleader type early on, but that's not what I'm going for.  So hopefully I'll be able to right that wrong.[/spoiler]

 

So... in summary. The format of the whole tournament and duel school is getting more into a good groove now I think, and your 'baddies' are fairly interesting and characters like Ryujin and Allison are getting better, and the plot is more clearly leading somewhere interesting than most. :)

 

It's just kinda silly things like Tensho being a man somehow duping people into thinking he's a student with no physical description (I know Gilag did it, but that was idiotic enough the first time!) and the exposition being done through the POV of disembodied voice we haven't seen anything of which wasn't for me personally, but not outright against. And Dylan. :(

 

I'm glad you liked it, and it's reassuring to see that you've actually had more positive things to say with each Chapter, which means it's getting better (slowly but surely).  

 

Like I mentioned in the spoiler response, Tensho's not an adult.  At all.  Because all the students wear uniforms, he also had to wear one to fit in.  I suppose that's my fault for not explaining it clearly enough, but yeah.

 

Dylan, as I said, is not the Main Character and I have a tendency to do things a little different than most and not necessarily give away too much about the main protagonist right away.  Right now, there's three potential characters who could fill that spot.  Obviously I know how the story plays out, but I'm talking about from the perspective of the reader.  Think of it like Fairy Tail's first few episodes, where you kind of learn about most of the characters before one or two of them get pushed to the role.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

(Stuff in spoiler)

 

I'm glad you liked it, and it's reassuring to see that you've actually had more positive things to say with each Chapter, which means it's getting better (slowly but surely).  

 

Like I mentioned in the spoiler response, Tensho's not an adult.  At all.  Because all the students wear uniforms, he also had to wear one to fit in.  I suppose that's my fault for not explaining it clearly enough, but yeah.

 

Dylan, as I said, is not the Main Character and I have a tendency to do things a little different than most and not necessarily give away too much about the main protagonist right away.  Right now, there's three potential characters who could fill that spot.  Obviously I know how the story plays out, but I'm talking about from the perspective of the reader.  Think of it like Fairy Tail's first few episodes, where you kind of learn about most of the characters before one or two of them get pushed to the role.

 

Well, it was either gonna be 'Guys coming to challenge Ryujin' or 'Guys coming to challenge Dylan'. And since the latter would have just been more Mary-Sue plating and given you do spread things evenly, I was sure you'd give Ryujin screentime.

 

I'm pretty sure he was originally described as a man in the opening scene, but yeah, a little description wouldn't have hurt. And I now Gwen was speaking through a headset and was being cheeky. She just got a lot of her feelings/background come across for somebody who wasn't physically present was all. Yeah of course I understand he had to wear a uniform, but yeah it did throw me a bit having nothing to work with, but also his background with this Gwen and Arthur, he seemed to have been working with them/in their emply for a while, so that kinda suggested he wasn't that young. So yeah he did come across as a bit Gilag to me. Sorry.

 

I have a tendency to do things a little different than most and not necessarily give away too much about the main protagonist right away...

 

Dylan, as I said, is not the Main Character...

 

Um... couldn't this be defined as giving stuff away OOS? And I've never watched Fairy Tail. But yeah, it's a better balance than having a Jaden figure dominating and "look at me I'm the lead I get all the cover". This has it's ups and downs so far, but it is progressing and I'd encourage more people to comment on it to maybe get a more balanced view than just mine as to how things are coming across and either prove some stuff is just me being picky or something.