[Fanfiction] Thar's YCM Pairings (PG-16)

[Simping For Hina]

daexrapid

[Kazooie]

daexrapid

 

daexnightxyinxrapid

 

things should be getting serious now

[Simping For Hina]

daexnightxyinxrapid

 

things should be getting serious now

This is the kinkiest thing I have ever read.

[Rapidfire]

daexnightxyinxrapid

 

things should be getting serious now

 

*sigh* This wasn't in my job description.  

 

 

This is the kinkiest thing I have ever read.

 

I've read tumblr fanfics and this is about 40 times kinkier. 

[Kazooie]

*sigh* This wasn't in my job description.  

 

if you don't like it, we can always replace you with desu. i'm sure there would be no objections to that :'O

[Desu the Blue Nerd]

This is the kinkiest thing I have ever read.

 

I thought you were more well read than that.

*sigh* This wasn't in my job description.  

Since when'd you get a job? Since when'd you become old enough to get a job?

 

 

I've read tumblr fanfics and this is about 40 times kinkier. 

Well this is one definition of not being well read.

 

 

if you don't like it, we can always replace you with desu. i'm sure there would be no objections to that :'O

 

It'd be more of a rejection.

[Agro]

Also, I'm not your man. Don't think I can't tell you're pushing hard for us two to be shipped. At this rate of yours I'll only be able to replace Rapid in that earlier idea I had.

Thar doesn't have permission to ship me with anything except Blue Waffles, so your point is rather moot.

[Thar]

I've been wanting to sneak in that RapidxPizza short in, which gave me an idea. Why not have it fall from the sky and make it talk and have it say it's a former admin? *cough cough*

Thar doesn't have permission to ship me with anything except Blue Waffles, so your point is rather moot.

AgroxthewordPoints wouldn't go well either, by the looks of it.

Btw, I've been thinking, and AgroxBlueWaffles will be a thing. It'll be short, but I know how it's gonna go.

[Mugendramon]

Thar doesn't have permission to ship me with anything except Blue Waffles, so your point is rather moot.

 

Thar doesn't have permission to ship me with anything except Blue Waffles, so your point is rather moot.

 

ship me with anything

 

Thar I think this is go

[Thar]

Thar I think this is go

It's gonna be blue waffles... and I'm gonna make it as humiliating as possi-

*looks over at Yin*

...f*ck, well I'll make it subjectively funny.

[Thar]

BUMP

 

FusionxClair is almost done. Again, I'm sorry for the long wait. Dead computer and all.

[Tourmaline]

Feel free to post the story you earlier took down. Striker is not somebody I would ship myself with, even in the sake of comedy, but if it is more widely enjoyed while I see that my caring is dwindling, then there is no reason not to.

[Thar]

I honestly don't see any reason to now. Pretty much everyone here has either already read it or are too focused on the most recent ones to really care. Either way, I'm sure Striker wouldn't mind if it stayed off.

 

EDIT: F*ck it. StrikerxAlice has been re-added.

[Nathanael D. Striker]

Thar, use my initial reaction to decide. And yes, you made the correct choice.

[Lt. Colonel Remo]

Thar, use my initial reaction to decide. And yes, you made the correct choice.

 

Feel free to post the story you earlier took down. Striker is not somebody I would ship myself with, even in the sake of comedy, but if it is more widely enjoyed while I see that my caring is dwindling, then there is no reason not to.

Welp double tsundere OTP of YCM

[Thar]

Aaaaaaand the wait is over. Here's the next fic.

 

[spoiler=Out With A Bang - Fusion x Clair (7,212 words.)]It was a cloudy day in YCM City. The sun was completely blocked off to emit a musky atmosphere, which worked well with the event that took place in the cemetery known as the GraveLARD, a name created by YCMembers who were too lazy to call it the graveyard of the Leaving and Returning District. Amongst the grounds of the GraveLARD, a funeral took place, commemorating the departure of Clair. Everyone shed tears over the grave as they lowered the casket into the pit just before the gravestone, wincing as the casket slipped and plummeted to the bottom, kicking up dust that stuck to the tear-soaked faces of those standing next to it.

Fusion was one of the attendees, but was further back in the crowd. Out of all the people surrounding Clair’s grave, he felt the most sorrow, but showed the least of it. The feeling burned inside his chest as he took deep breaths to dim it down. After the cloud of dirt settled, he walked up to the open grave and looked directly into it, lifting his collar up to cover his mouth and nose from the lingering dirt particles in the air. After a moment, he could be seen standing still, drawing Remo from the crowd to comfort him.

“Fusion, buddy,” Remo said, putting a hand on Fusion’s shoulder, “We’re all shedding tears here, but I’m surprised to not see any on you. Isn’t she special to you?”

“She’s special to everyone…” Fusion looked over at Remo, whose face reflected the light from the clouds off the layer of tears on his cheeks.

“Oh no, Fuse, I’m one of few people who know she means much more to you than anyone here,” Remo grabbed the collar of the shirt he wore underneath his suit, wiping his face dry, “So is there a reason why you aren’t crying?”

Fusion looked back at the grave, taking a deep breath and letting out a deep sigh, “Look at it this way… she may be gone, but there’s no use being sad about it, because when my own time comes, I’ll be with her again.” Fusion looked over at Remo again, this time wearing a shy smile.

Remo laughed, wiping off more tears, “Man, I’d kill to have whatever mindset you have.” With a last tap on the shoulder, Remo dispatched himself from Fusion and walked away from the grave, “Just don’t be too hasty, all right? No one’ll want you killing yourself over this.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.” Fusion waved Remo off, returning his gaze to Clair’s grave, which was still open and revealing the casket. All the attendees were spread out further away from the grave at this point, talking amongst each other and wiping each others’ tears. Fusion remained looking down at the casket, “I hope you know what you’re doing, Clair,” he muttered, aware that no one was close enough to hear him, “For both of our sakes…”

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After the funeral, Fusion spent the rest of the day in his house along the walls of the city borders, pondering his life. He stood up to walk out to his mailbox, opening it up only to let a heap of envelopes fall to the ground. When he bent down to pick them up, his head bashed into the metal housing. The impact made him grunt loudly as he instinctively pressed two palms on the area of pain, having to put on hand on the mailbox for support as he nearly passed out.

“Is this really how my day’s gonna end?” Fusion groaned. He made sure that the mailbox was far enough out of his path to retry picking up the letters, walking back into the house with his arms full. He dropped the mountain of letters on a round table just behind the couch that faced the small TV, ignoring the several envelopes that fell on the floor over the edges. With a frustrated sigh, he walked over to his computer, practically falling onto his chair as he half-mindedly opened his email, not surprisingly seeing his Inbox spammed with sympathy emails. He facepalmed, “Now I’m glad we’re doing this together,” he sighed, closing out of his email without looking at a single one. At that moment, his phone started buzzing. It was Clair.

“There you are,” Fusion said after he answered the call, “Are you still underground?”

“Nope,” Clair responded with a hint of jest, “My casket wasn’t even buried. What kind of funeral WAS that?”

Fusion was dumbfounded, “Wait… literally HOURS have passed and they didn’t even fill the grave?”

“I know right? No wonder this place is always haunted.”

“Haunted?”

Clair pondered for a moment, “Guests and anonymous users, I guess. They’re all over the place, and no one knows who they are.”

“Don’t the Mods know?”

“Beats me.” There was a pause, followed by the sound of bustling and a thud, “…okay, I’ve just climbed over the back fence. Meet me in the woods behind the cemetery. There’s a treehouse here that looks like it hasn’t been used in a while. Looks like a roomy place to lay low until we can get out of this dump.”

“Ah, that must be Striker’s treehouse.”

“Who?”

Fusion snorted, “Nevermind. Anyway, I’ll meet you there soon. It might take some time, though. If I’m gonna disappear, I need to avoid everyone.”

“You can’t just avoid everyone, Fusion. You need to kill yourself.”

Fusion cocked his head to face the phone in wide-eyed shock, “Wait, Clair, you’re not telling me to-”

“No no, stupid!” Clair laughed, “You need to make people believe you are dead so that they can at least have some closure.”

“Ah, okay, that makes more sense.”

Clair scoffed, “You don’t actually think I want you to kill yourself, do you? C’mon, Fuse, even I know you’re not THAT emotional.” Fusion laughed at the remark, and Clair joined with him over heavy breaths from running and bustling of leaves and footsteps, “I’ll leave you to make a plan for yourself. Remember where I’m seeing you. Good luck.” A click gave the impression of her hanging up, leaving Fusion to gather his thoughts and draw out his next few moves.

“Looks like I gotta kill myself.” He said. His options were practically limitless, but he found one way to pull it off with a trademark. He remembered his days with Daniel and Elfman in YCM High, and their presence in his memories branched out to everyone he knew in the forum. Amongst these thoughts, he had one destination to reach to gather what he needed, “Alright, time to take my last trip down memory lane.”

Fusion abandoned all that he had piled up in his house to jump on his bike and rev up to drive down to to YCM High, which was deserted because of the late hour. The sky was barely lit from the sunlight that leaked through the horizon as the lights from inside the building gave the illusion of night to Fusion. He swiveled his bike through the concrete walkways and parked it against one of the walls next to the door, entering the school through the side entrance.

“Okay, just gotta grab a few things from the science lab and get out.” Fusion felt like he was a member of the Breakfast Club as he lightly walked down the hallway with his hands spread out in front of him to keep his balance. He was wearing a backpack to pack the supplies before he would leave, but the idea of explosive chemicals on his back made him think twice about this “mission.” Just as he was about to round a corner, he heard footsteps, which made him scurry back behind the same corner and peek around it. From the wall at the other end, a shadow leapt behind the opposite corner, leaving Fusion anxious. He took a few deep breaths before bolting further down the hall, stepping lightly like before yo avoid any unneeded noise.

“Man, I hope that’s not a guard. I was never considered a ninja.” Fusion was about to laugh at his own comment when he heard the footsteps again, this time coming from the hall further down. Whoever this person was, with how quickly they got down there, they must have been running like he was. Also, by tracing the sound’s direction, it sounded like they were headed to the same destination, “does someone know I’m here? How would they know I was going to the science room?” Fusion whispered as he moved slower, keeping his eyes and ears on the hallway; the sounds dimmed out. He figured that the person was also paranoid of another person’s presence. Nope, not a guard… but who?

Fusion prioritized the task at hand, which was a few more intersections forward. He could see the door from where he stood, but as he began to walk again, the footsteps scurried back down the hall he was about to cross. Just as he went to look, there was no one there. He took no time to be curious and dashed with light steps, reaching the last intersection before the door to the science room when he crashed into another running person and fell back just as they did. Both of them gasped as the other person scrambled to their feet while Fusion remained motionless on the ground, groaning in pain. As Fusion raised his head, the other person was running in the direction of the science room.

“Wait!” Fusion shouted, which made the other person stop and turn around. Fusion could hear her sigh as she walked up to him and held out her hand.

“Fusion, you dolt.” She laughed as she pulled her hood up. Fusion’s eyes lit up with a smile as he grabbed her hand and pulled himself up, meeting Clair with a brief kiss on the lips and a tight hug.

“Clair, I thought you were gonna wait at the Treehouse.”

Clair sighed, “Honestly, I just couldn’t. That place is a mess. I dunno what Striker and his ‘members’ used to do in there, but whatever it was, they never cleaned up.”

“I don’t think I wanna know.” Fusion and Clair exchanged curious looks, “Though, one thing confuses me… Striker’s treehouse is by the Hotel.”

“I’m guessing that has something to do with his little ‘alter ego’ doohickey deal.”

“You mean War Torn?”

Clair shuttered at the name, “Yes, that. Though, I can’t be sure. That treehouse was never brought up in the open, so my guess is he tried to keep it secret.”

“So… what are you doing here?”

“I was just about to ask you the same thing!” Clair was ecstatic about clarifying that with Fusion, “We were even headed in the same direction.”

Fusion pointed to the door to the science lab, “I was headed to that room.”

“The science lab?” Clair made a confused look, “…why would there be anything of use in there?”

“Don’t you remember? When I went to school here, I blew up a part of the wall in there. You might still be able to see the scars even after reconstruction.” Fusion walked through the doors with Clair following, pointing at the roughly-drawn circle in the opposite wall that looked like an actual scab. It was painted over with the same color as the rest of the walls, but the area of interest was sticking out from the plaster.

“Ah yeah, I remember now,” Clair said, “Only vaguely, though, back when everyone was cool. Hell, back when this city actually felt like home.”

Fusion nodded, “Is that why you’re leaving?”

“I already left,” Clair headed back out of the room.

“Where are you going?”

“Seriously, you’re not gonna find anything in here. How are we gonna get highly-explosive chemicals in our backpacks without blowing ourselves up along with something else on our way back?” Fusion just realized that Clair was also carrying a bag, “Follow me. I’ve got a better idea… and it’s a lot more fun!” The two ran down the hallway, turning a few corners before reaching a locker. Clair memorized the lock code before opening it to reveal a box on the top shelf. She carefully grabbed it on both sides, placed it on the floor, and opened it. Inside was a neatly-stacked collection of dynamite sticks with a miniature push lever and a roll of wire. Fusions eyes were wide in shock, which made Clair laugh.

“What? Were you expecting a make-up kit?” Clair pushed Fusion on the shoulder, almost tipping him over.

“No…” Fusion turned his eyes at Clair but kept his head facing forward, “…I’m just wondering how you managed to get explosives in the school. You know this place will lock down if they so much as see a THREAT for bombs, right?”

“Well, considering I no longer go to school here, and considering they never lock the side doors…” she put the cover back on the box, putting it into her backpack, “I take advantage of using my old locker to store this stuff.”

Fusion looked back at the locker, getting a quick last glance at the other things in the locker before Clair stood up at closed it, “What other things do you have in there?”

Clair loosened the straps of her bag, “Just… stuff. Not really important, since we’re leaving this dump anyway. People might find it, but hey, at least we’ll be outlaws by then, right?” Fusion snorted at the remark, standing up with her. They both came to an intersecting hallway before they began to go opposite ways.

“Where are you going?” Clair asked.

“I parked on this side.”

“Oh… well, we’ll meet up later, then. I’m risking a lot just by being here.” The two locked eyes before mutually leaping at each other for an embrace and a kiss, savoring the moment as if it were their last. They finally pushed themselves off of each other before running in the opposite direction to their designated vehicles and driving off to their own destinations for the time being.

---------------------------------------------------------

 

Meanwhile back at the cemetery, the darkness after sunset gloomed amongst the gravestones, including the open one that would’ve held Clair. An officer pulled up on his bike, leaning it against the building without a kickstand. A nearby vending machine grabbed his attention as he needed some caffeine to be able to operate during this shift. The thud of the can hitting the retrieval box was accompanied by a crunching noise in the woods.

“Hm?” the officer was laid back and took his time to reach for his flashlight, stretching to buy time. The crunching continued but waned in the distance as he turned it on and pointed it around a tree, seeing nothing of interest, “eh, probably just a squirrel. Those rabid rodents are everywhere.” He stretched again, as he normally would do while the sun wasn’t shining. As a routine, he would walk the bordering fence in order to scout for any last-second fleeing vandals that saw him coming, but found no one. Shrugging, he merely looked around a few times and sat against one of the bigger gravestones, pulling out a snack from his pocket and munching. It was when he dropped the wrapper when the wind blew it away. He followed, knowing that littering in a graveyard was unlawful, only to catch it over the unfilled grave of Clair.

“What the f*ck?” he said in surprise, “this thing ain’t even filled! What kind of cemetery is THIS?” He looked up at the gravestone, seeing Clair’s name on it. He recognized it, letting a smile creep across his face as he looked down at the coffin, “Well, I guess that explains why she hasn’t been around lately.” His fantasies let loose with the idea that Clair’s grave was not blocked and not guarded by others. He was the only one watching the cemetery, and the place was deserted, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take a peak. Hell, it should be new. Her cute body wouldn’t be too decomposed.” A faint laugh escaped his throat as he let his legs hang over the edge and land on the coffin, anchoring himself between it and the dirt wall. With his knees bent, he opened the coffin with a heave, flinching with shaking knees at the sight of an empty coffin.

“We have a graverobber on the loose!” The officer shakily grabbed his walkie-talkie and belted out the call, “Clair’s grave has been left unfilled and the coffin is empty! I need back-up here, pronto!” Acknowledgement followed and sirens could be heard immediately headed toward the cemetery. The officer climbed out and waited for them with a flashlight at the ready to signal his position, which was given to the ones who pulled up. Amongst them was Hunter, the chief squad commander of Thread Control.

“Hunter, sir, what do you make of thi-”

“Shut up and let me take a look.” Hunter’s tone wasn’t loud but it hit like a brick. The officer pointed the flashlight into the grave, which showed Clair’s open, empty coffin, “You were the only one here, weren’t you? It wasn’t you, was it?”

The officer flinched in disagreement, “What? NO! Why the f-”

Hunter’s hearty laugh cut him off as his hand smacked the officer’s shoulder from behind, making him grunt from the impact, “I’m only kidding, private! Get a sense of humor, will ya?” He looked back into the grave, “Get a flashlight back in there.” The light shone along the walls as requested, and Hunter scanned the grave with trained eyes. He immediately perked up and walked down an invisible trail like a hound dog.

“Um, sir?”

“Yes, the gal is either a zombie or she faked her death.” Murmurs followed in surprise of the zombie remark, which made Hunter look back at the group of officers gathered at the scene, “You don’t agree? Hell, you guys haven’t been around long enough to have ever seen a zombie, haven’t ya?”

“Sir, we should be s-”

“Serious? Bah, it’s not like I haven’t seen this before.” He took a deep breath, “Well, obviously not a zombie. If it was, it’d be obvious with the smell. My only conclusion is that she wasn’t really dead. She faked her own death and planned to use it to run away.”

“But sir, how can you be so sure?”

Hunter looked at the officer with piercing eyes, “You must be joking. You think a fake death would allow enough time to pass for the grave to be filled in? How the hell would she get out then? Exactly! She wouldn’t! She took advantage of the lazy bums who didn’t feel like doing some manual labor to finish the job.” He wasted no time walking back to his vehicle, “It’s no grave robber. We have ourselves a person who’s trying to not exist! This calls for a manhunt!”

All the other officers knew what Hunter meant, “Sir Hunter, you don’t mean… you’re bringing out…”

“I’m bringing out the beast that gave me my name!” Hunter turned his hips to look back at the officers, snapping his fingers and revealing a glistening grin and a wink. The officers were moved by the gesture, ecstatic to see Hunter do what he does best, “Anyway, you bums better get back to your posts. As for you three…” he pointed to the three officers closest to him, “…join this graveyard shifter and be sure that no one either comes in or out. Move out!” Hunter stepped into the vehicle, gunning out of the opened gate and leaving the three officers to be weeded out from the rest as they left alongside the chief.

“Care to explain why you opened the coffin?” asked one of the officers, wearing a suspicious look towards the one that was already assigned to the graveyard.

“Well, if you saw a grave that hasn’t been filled, you’d be curious too, right?”

The officer being asked the question backed away slowly, “I’m just gonna leave you to your own business… and space.” All three officers spread out amongst the graveyard, keeping a sharp eye out for any other vandals of the night.

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“Well, you ready?” Clair was stationed in an alleyway, eyeing the streets like a shy cat, “We have to be quick with this. Any stalling and people will only be drawn to us.”

“Where are you right now?” Fusion was walking out of the store with bags full of food. The bags hung from his elbows as he stuffed them into the back of his bike with one hand and talked on the phone with the other.

“I’m in an alleyway in the outskirts of the metro area.”

Fusion winced, “Are you serious? What if someone sees you?”

“Relax, I’m like a black cat at night. No one will notice.”

“But Black Cats also cause bad luck, which is NOT what we need.” Just as Fusion said that, he closed the hood on his bike’s storage trunk on his shirt, grabbing it as he walked away struggling and pulling it off.

“I thought I told you to relax.” Clair sighed, laughing at her own frustration with her runaway soul mate, “Just go with the flow on this one. Chances are we might get followed, but that’s what the dynamite is for. We want people to think we’re dead.”

“Which you already have taken care of.”

“Well yes, but…”

“But what? Tell me they think that…”

“Well, here’s the thing… you know how that grave was never filled in?”

Fusion gulped with wide eyes, “Oh god, did they get suspicious?”

“Obviously, but that’s not the real problem. Hunter is the chief officer of that area,”

Fusion was still sitting on his bike, remaining motionless and shocked from the news, “Hunter, you mean the sniper?”

“We’re most likely gonna be in crosshairs. Get ready!” A click on the phone left Fusion to wallow in anxiety from the event that was to come. He took a deep breath, turning back the handle of his bike and letting the engine rev into acceleration out of the parking lot. As he weaved through the streets leading into the metro area, he had to improvise. He was not given specific directions, so finding Clair was like tracking a mouse in a dark room. After some twists and turns, he found himself in the outskirts, where the buildings began to appear old from lack of rejuvenation. Fusion found himself relieved, as a place like this was not a likely place for wandering citizens.

As he searched each alleyway, the right one was revealed when a whining cat was heard. Fusion walked the bike in neutral into the alleyway, seeing Clair come around the corner with the cat held in her arms, purring.

“Aw, Fusion, can we bring him along?” Clair stroked the cat’s back as he lied with his eyes closed, rubbing his head on Clair’s arm.

Fusion snickered, “Sure, why not? …though we’d have to keep him out of Hunter’s sights.”

“Fair enough.” Clair carried the cat to the trunk of Fusion’s bike, but the cat jumped out, whining as he jumped up on a dumpster and dug into it. Both Fusion and Clair scoffed as Clair jumped on as if to ride the bike herself. Fusion followed, spooning her with his arms extended over her shoulders and grabbing onto the handles.

“You ready?” Fusion revved the engine.

“Oh yeah, I’m ready.” Clair’s game face was on as she pulled out two face-masks from her blouse. She handed one that looked like an Orc to Fusion while putting on the one that looked like a cat.

“What are these?”

“Masks to hide our identity.” Fusion nodded, understanding her reasoning immediately as he accelerated the bike out of the alley. Within seconds, they were ripping the streets, and sirens blared.

“Damn, already?”

“I told you we’d be watched.” Clair lowered her head as Fusion did the same. The sirens grew louder as red and blue lights flashed behind them. Fusion sped up, taking ninety-degree turns while his bike leaned practically on its side.

“Damn, this is gonna be intense.”

“Get ready for the ride of your life, Fuse!” Both Fusion and Clair laughed, holding on as Fusion weaved through the streets of downtown YCM City. With their masks securely strapped to their faces, they looked like a pair of criminals from an action movie, only without guns. Pacifism took control of the chase until the sound of a bullet pelting the street beside them caught Clair’s attention.

“Welp, looks like Hunter is on us.”

“Ah, sh*t.” Fusion was too focused to have noticed the bullet hitting the street, but the sound of Hunter’s name gave him chills. With this in mind, he noticed the other bullets hitting the street, making him swerve between lanes albeit one was for cross-traffic.

Clair scoffed, “Man, this guy couldn’t hit a falling pizza.”

“Wait, you mean that one Admin that used to be here?” Fusion tried to talk while driving, which felt impressive to him.

“…or maybe he could. The guy hasn’t been around.”

“No, if he shot an Admin, the guy wouldn’t be a squad commander.”

“True.” The chase pursued with vehicles going both directions honking and braking, moving out of the way for the cop cars blaring their sirens and lights. Clair looked back at where she imagined Hunter was watching them through his scope, smiling, “Hey Fuse, let’s give Hunter something to look at.”

“Like wha- WHOA WAIT,” Clair stood up on the pegs of Fusion’s bike as she loosened the lace around her skirt, letting it fall to the seat, “Clair, we’re not wearing protection as we know it!”

“So?” Clair tightened her grip on the handlebars, resting her head at the center of them, “C’mon, live a little!” The sound of Clair’s devious voice gave Fusion a boner with the vibrations of the bike assisting. The mask he wore hid his widened eyes and blaring nostrils. A straight-away came up past the city, where Fusion let go of the handles to pull down Clair’s panties as well as his own trousers.

Meanwhile, Hunter sat at the edge of a helicopter that hovered over where a clear view of Fusion and Clair, “Good job, boys, make them run!” He held his sniper rifle firmly against his shoulder, looking through the scope at a zoomed-in image of the pair ripping through the metro area. Just as the straight-away came, he saw that Clair and Fusion had dropped their pants and began doing it doggy style.

“…the f*ck?” He watched as Fusion’s hips moved frantically as he held onto the handlebars while Clair lied flat up against the middle of them, raising her head up in pleasure. With a boner of his own mounting the crease of his pants, he saw Fusion turning his face around and raising his right arm to raise his middle finger. Hunter’s face turned red with rage, “I won’t let you get away with this!” He attempted to get a good shot on the two, but the maneuvering helicopter made it a chore and cost him several bullets. With a shot finally locked on, he pulled the trigger, only for no shots to be fired.

He pulled out his walkie-talkie, cursing, “Someone get a bike ready for me on the ground. I’m coming down!” He grabbed the parachute that hung from the edge of the door, strapping it to his back and jumping out without a second thought. He immediately pulled the string to release the parachute, pulling out his pistol to take a few rough shots, but only in vain. As he reached the bottom, someone on a bike prepared to dismount for Hunter to board and accelerate, “I have you now!” The chief commander zipped along the winding road, leaving all of his followers in the dust.

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Fusion pulled up along the driveway of his house. Both his and Clair’s pants were dropped, but upon arrival, they both pulled them up, but Clair kept her hands on the straps. She wore a gloomy expression that Fusion would later catch as he dismounted the bike and headed into the opening garage with the bike in neutral, “Clair, you alright?”

“Yeah, but… we never finished…”

“We can finish when we get out of here. I’m sure they’re still on us.” With the bike in the garage, Clair was still on the bike when she grabbed Fusion’s sleeve and pulled him back on.

“Please, let’s just finish while we’re walled in. I seriously can’t handle waiting.” Clair’s cheeks were red, and her voice had a whiny tone of ecstasy, “Please Fusion, I’m begging you.”

Fusion sighed with a smile, “All right, but we need to be quick. I can already hear them approaching us.” Fusion mounted the bike as well as Clair. Assured that their identities were hidden, he removed his mask along with Clair’s, finally able to see her glistening eyes as they made love in a barely-lit garage. Moans of pleasure could be heard over the approaching siren, which was noticeably singular. The two finished with a loud groan, hearing as the amount of sirens outside was underwhelming for a pair of outlaws.

“That’s strange,” Clair whispered with an exhausted tone, “Wasn’t the entire CITY chasing us earlier?”

“That IS strange…” Fusion got off the bike, walking toward the closed garage door with no pants on as he put an ear to it. He could hear a voice outside.

“CLAIR. I KNOW YOU’RE THERE!” Hunter’s voice was angry and frustrated as the sound of a cocked gun rattled Fusion’s nerves, “Get out and show yourself! You’re not getting out of this city THAT easily!” Fusion could hear the sound of Hunter’s gun taking aim, running with Clair swooped into his arms into the house.

“You do know I can still walk, right?” Clair pushed herself off of Fusion, placing her feet on the floor and running back into the garage. Before Fusion could tell her to not go there, she came back with the box of dynamite in her hands, “Alright, let’s set these babies up!”

“COME ON OUT, YOU HEAR?!” Hunter’s voice grew more potent of anger as he began to fire shots at the house, shattering windows and cracking wood. Clair and Fusion scrambled to place sticks of dynamite on every square meter of the house before they left it decorated. With everything set up, Fusion put the bike back in neutral and rolled it into the house and toward the back door. Just as the final phase of the plan was set, Hunter bashed the door open with the hilt of his gun, aiming in all directions as more sirens approached the scene, “I CAN SMELL YOU. GIVE IT UP, ZOMBIE CLAIR. YOU’LL BE NOTHING BUT A ROTTING CORPSE WHEN I’M DONE WITH YOU!”

“Huh, how rude.” Clair’s voice rattled Hunter’s attention as he rushed into where Fusion and Clair were mounted on the bike, taking aim once and for all before the bike bolted forward through the glass door. Shots fired from Hunter’s gun, mostly missing from his unfocused rage, as the bike began to disappear into the horizon before he could see Fusion holding up an old-fashioned demolition box with a hand grasping the pump. At this point, Hunter realized that the entire house was riddled with sticks of dynamite. With a gasp and a “AW SHI-” Hunter’s last sight was white as well as his last feeling being heat. A blast of fire and dust shook the city as the approaching vehicles resisted to continue forth from the force of the blast.

---------------------------------------------------

A moment earlier, the house next door to Fusion’s house had One Direction blasting from the stereo. Down the hall, Rapid danced and skipped down into the living area, singing along to the tune as she approached the freshly-made pizza that sat on her stove next to the window. She admired it like a work of art.

“Just wait until you’re all cooked!” Rapid’s mouth began to drool as she continued to dance to the music, “Oh god, I can’t wait! I’m just so hungry!” She moved over to the carpeted area where the TV watched over. A couch bordered the carpeted area from the hardwood floored area that was the kitchen for which the pizza resided. With her mind, body, and soul dedicated to the music, a loud and nearly deafening explosion destroyed the wall alongside the kitchen.

It was not long before Rapid stood up with her ears ringing and her vision blurry. She swayed like a drunken Irishman as she made her way to the fiery and damaged part of the house, almost in tears as that was where her pizza was. As she finally got to the hole, her senses began to regain themselves as an overwhelming smell flooded her nostrils. At the side of her eye, she saw the pizza on the stove. The cheese was boiling, the crust was brown and crisp, and the other toppings glistened of grease. Her eyes lit up and her mouth let loose saliva like Niagra falls as she let a wide smile fill her expression. She looked out the hole in her wall, following the faint sound of a motorcycle riding off in the distance.

“THANK YOU, NEIGHBORS!” She didn’t care if the house next to her was in shambles and that her house had a giant hole in it. She turned her attention to the mouth-watering pizza and lunged at it, devouring it with all of her senses.

------------------------------------------------------------

 

The fallout of the explosion took place the next day. Yellow tape was wrapped around the entire yard with wooden stakes as the pivoting points, only allowing cops and mods to enter. One of the mods present was Icy, a squad commander formally stationed in the RC Area before he was called to this case.

“Here? This has nothing to do with Realistic…” he mumbled under his breath as cops, detectives, and firemen scoured the area in a frantic fashion, investigating and putting out whatever flames were still burning on the embers. Amidst the chaos, another vehicle pulled up with a figure in a trench coat coming out of the driver’s seat. He removed his fedora and sunglasses, revealing himself as Zazu. Icy scoffed at the sight of him as he ducked under the tape and approached him, “what the hell are you doing here, Zazu? I thought you were on probation?”

“As long as I don’t ‘test out’ any new experiments without approval of the mod department, it’s not that big of a deal.” Zazu unbuttoned his coat to let some cool air into his sweating torso. Icy sighed at the pitiful sight as he looked away at the damaged building.

“Might I ask why you’re here?”

“Why else would I be? I heard an explosion and got excited!”

“Naturally.” Icy rolled his eyes, “Considering you’re not even from this time, one would not find it surprising that your ability to travel back in time works well with your love for destruction.”

“Is that supposed to be an insult?” Zazu’s voice was raspy, making him cough and hack, “I only came here to have a reason to post here without being perma’d.”

“You’re pretty damn lucky you aren’t banned HERE.” Icy’s voice grew harsh, “Hell, you’re even lucky that your cloning machine was spotted before you could even use it.”

“But it’s still there.” Zazu approached the burning building, ignoring Icy’s locked gaze, “so about this explosion… who was behind it?”

“I can tell you who was IN it.” Icy sighed with a hand on his face, “Hunter, our trusted marksman. Our most talented dead-eye that has taken down more rule-breakers than all of us combined.”

“Let me guess… he was inside the house?”

“He was so close…”

“Close to doing what?”

“Taking out the runaways.”

Zazu perked up in interest, “Runaways? Do tell!”

Icy was almost reluctant to answer, but felt that he had no choice, “Fusion and Clair. Clair was supposedly dead. She had her own funeral and everything. But she somehow escaped from her own grave and planned an escape with Fusion.”

“Fusion?” Zazu’s brow raised, “Why him?”

“Cause he was the only man that Clair ever loved… and the only person to agree to run away with her.” Icy lowered his head in shame again, “It’s a shame, really. Of all people, it had to be him.”

“What’s so significant about him?”

“We were going to promote him to modship.” Icy sighed while raising his head to converse with Zazu properly, “He was the only person I was confident to give the job to. He has what most members don’t.”

“Oh, I’m sure there’s a loophole to this.” Zazu’s grin made Icy grimace slightly. Zazu entered the remains of the building toward the shattered back door, where he did not hesitate to notice a trace of blood on one of the sharp points of the glass, “See this? DNA in its purest form! You know what this means, right?”

Icy shook his head, “We’re NOT using that cloning machine of yours, Zazu! I forbid it! It’s not even finished. Who knows what will happen?”

“Oh, quit being such a baby!” Zazu teased, “It’ll be fine. Hell, I managed to sneak in a few touch-ups while under mod surveillance. Business only; no funny stuff. I made sure to get their approval and assured my own behavior around them.”

Icy submitted to Zazu’s story, “Well, if the mod department knew of it, then… I guess we can give it a try. But I’m warning you, Zazu… if anything goes wrong or if you try anything suspicious, I’ll Interpolaritally ban you!”

“Oh, that’s a big word! What does it mean?”

“It’s short for IP ban. It means I’ll ban you from materializing anywhere within these city limits at any point in time, space, or parallel universe.”

“That’s possible?”

“I sure as hell hope so…” Icy sighed once again, watching as Zazu took out a cotton swab from his front pocket and dabbing the blood on the glass with it, putting it in a tiny Ziploc bag, “Well, come on then. We have work to do.”

“Certainly, certainly…” Zazu exaggerated the mad scientist character that he portrayed as he crept along the yard into his vehicle. Icy jumped into his own, following him to his area of residence, where he entered a dark, wet corridor that led to a small room consisting of high-tech equipment covered in cloth and yellow tape. From what he remembered of the exterior, a security camera was watching the entrance as well as the interior and everything in it. Icy followed Zazu as he approached a machine that touched the top of the room, pulling off the cloth to reveal a capsule made of stainless steel.

“Behold, my cloning machine!” Zazu immediately took out the swab containing Fusion’s drawn blood.

“You sure this is gonna work?”

“Yes yes, hold your horses, it’ll be fine.” Icy refused to agree, but was intrigued by the contraption and what Zazu was about to do with it, “Here it goes!” Zazu placed the swab in a little compartment and shut the door, pressing a button and watching as the machine steamed and rattled. A window showed the happenings that took place inside, which appeared to be the blood from the swab multiplying and fleshing out into a humanoid figure.

“My word!” Icy was flabbergasted by the sight as Zazu murmured a chuckle before the machine began to settle to a hissing stop. A long moment of awe passed before the door opened to let out a cloud of smoke. Finally, from the covering that made Icy cough and cover his eyes, was a look-alike of Fusion. Icy was speechless as he approached the clone, examining it for defects.

“Isn’t he handsome!” Zazu cheered, “Just like Fusion!”

“Wait, something’s wrong with his eyes, it seems.” Icy noticed that the Fusion clone’s eyes were darker than normal, giving off an evil aura on the guy, “This just doesn’t feel like Fusion. Nobody would believe this was him.”

Zazu looked where Icy was looking, raising a finger to signify an idea, “Why not just give him a different name?” He put a finger on his chin in thought, “He looks like Fusion, but he’s evil… EVILFUSION! Simple, yet affective.”

“Evilfusion…” Icy pondered, nodding at the sound of it as it repeated in his mind, “…I like it. It was a nice ring to it… and it might help a LOT in the moderating field. People will surely submit to this guy.”
 

“Oh, this is fantastic! Finally, someone appreciates my work!” Zazu exclaimed.

 

Icy rolled his eyes, "Don't push your luck, Zazu." Zazu backed away from Icy, acknowledging the warning just before a gateway materialized behind him. Out came a man and woman in all black holding what seemed to be futuristic pistols of sorts, Zazu squinted as if to get a better look.

 

"Oh s***." Zazu gasped, "Hey Icy, it was nice seeing you, but I think I left the stove on 3 years from now, bye!" He turned and just as he gained momentum the man whom he recognized as Night cocked his pistol and fired a single burst at him, leaving "NECRO" branded cleanly on his ass. 

 

"F***ing Bumpers forcing us to chase them through time, some people have s*** to do." Night muttered slightly annoyed as he lit a new cigarette. 

 

"Really Night? Cigarettes? I thought I taught you better than that." Icy sighed as the two greeted one another. "Well I'm a Mod now, so clearly some of what you taught me registered." He leaned in for another toke but instead dropped it and crushed it with his boot, dejectedly.

 

"Mod? You finally got accepted huh? ...Who's terrible idea was that?" He said before letting out a brief chuckle.

 

"Go f*** yourself." The two now laughing in unison. 

 

"Speaking of promotions, whatever happens to me? Admin right? It's gotta be Admin." 

 

"About that..."

 

"Hey Icy, it's been a while." Yin greeted him with not slightest modicum of enthusiasm, instead she just roped up Zazu with the rigor of a black-widow entangling it's prey and proceeded to drag him away, all the while kicking and screaming. 

 

"She's still as anal as ever I see." 

 

"Yeah I wouldn't mention that to her, it's been kind of a sore subject lately. Quite literally." 

 

Icy didn't seem to understand the joke. "Well anyway, it's been fun talking to you again but in the future we're kinda in a war with spambots" Night quickly explained as he reloaded his pistol and followed Yin through the gateway. Icy didn't know what to say towards what had just happened. The gateway closed behind the three, leaving him alone with Evilfusion. He approached the clone, making eye contact with it. Evilfusion’s attention was grabbed as Icy raised his right hand, “Raise your right hand, clone.” Evilfusion did so, “Do you swear to serve the community, promote justice, and provide a good example of the law of this city?”

 

Evilfusion smiled, “I swear.”
[/spoiler]

 

Credit to Night for part of the ending.

[Nathanael D. Striker]

And the origin of evilfusion has been revealed.

[Night]

Pre-teen pizza-crazed and One Direction obsessed Rapid needs her own spin-off. 

[Astolfo]

That was amazing.

[~British Soul~]

That was quite the read. The origin of evilfusion at the end was pretty cool to say the least. I can't wait for the next installment.

[Fusion X. Denver]

Brilliance, brilliance everywhere.

From funny small moments like Fusion hitting his head on the mailbox or Hunter also getting a boner to stuff like sex on the motorbike and time-traveling mods, I was so entertained by this.

I unfortunately saw Striker's comment (browsed this on mobile) before reading the story and spoiled the twist, but it was great regardless.

Thanks for the laugh, dude. Well done.

[Thar]

Glad y'all liked it. ^^

 

I wanted to make Rapid's pizza an incarnation of Falling Pizza, but it didn't really work out as I was writing it. Regardless, I'm glad I got that in.

 

Crab x Pika is in progress, though it'll be very long compared to most works.

[Rapidfire]

Pre-teen pizza-crazed and One Direction obsessed Rapid needs her own spin-off. 

 

Obviously, and those were dark times. We don't talk about one erection here. 

[Thar]

Obviously, and those were dark times. We don't talk about one erection here. 

 

One erection spread out amongst 5 guys, implying that each guy has a fifth of an erection, indicating that they all have erectile dysfunction therefore One Direction is a group of old people disguised as young boys.

 

Case closed. 

[Tourmaline]

Welp double tsundere OTP of YCM

I'm far from tsundere.