First Xyz monster

[card creator 123]

 

Lore: 2 Level 6 monsters

         Once per turn you can detach 1 Xyz material; Until the End Phase, its ATK is halved, but it can attack your opponent directly. If this card has no Xyz materials, return it to the extra deck and if you do, Special Summon 2 "Snow" tokens (Water/Aqua/Level 3/ATK 1000/DEF 1000).

 

 

Forgive me for the OCG, the correction is on the lore.

[the_engineer]

Once per turn you can detach 1 Xyz material; Until the End Phase, its ATK is halved, but it can attack your opponent directly. If this card has no Xyz materials, return it to the extra deck and if you do, Special Summon 2 "Snow" tokens (Water/Aqua/Level 3/ATK 1000/DEF 1000).

 

i would correct it with this.

[card creator 123]

thanks, i'll correct it now.

[razzy]

It's not bad. Not sure how easy/hard Level 6 Aquas are to get. Never played them. But aside from that it is good for your first Xyz. 

Having said that there are a few ocg errors. Mostly you need to remember to specify where to detach the material from (although it may seem obvious), and that the effect is effecting "this card" too.

 

 2 Level 6 Aqua-type monsters

Once per turn: You can detach 1 Xyz material from this card; this card's ATK is halved, but it can attack your opponent directly. These effects last until the End Phase. If this card has no Xyz material: Return it to the extra deck, and if you do, Special Summon 2 "Snow" tokens (Water/Aqua/Level 3/ATK 1000/DEF 1000).

[Zauls]

Make this generic and it would be fine balance-wise. The only Level 6 Aqua in the game is Mobius, so this would be nearly impossible to summon as it is.

[Sleepy]

I agree with the above. The card would be fine if generic.

It's a 1500 ATK direct attacker during your turn, a 3000 ATK wall during your opponent's. And it leaves you small fodder/wall in the form of Tokens.

It's biggest issue would be the 3000 ATK when attacking normally, although not much since other Rank 6s are around the 2700s or 2800s. Besides, it's Token effect requires it to be completely successful until it runs out of materials, and I don't think that's gonna be the case too often.

 

In short, you can just make it "2 Level 6  monsters" and it'd be fine.

[card creator 123]

thanks sleepy and saberzauls, i'm going to do what you said sleepy, i'll change it to ''2 level 6 monsters'' and thanks for the information saberzauls.