Lt. Colonel Remo Posted February 13, 2014 Report Share Posted February 13, 2014 Oh s*** man shots fired HEY IS REMO GOING TO BE PLOT RELEVANT TOO? HE CAN GET RESULTS I KNOW HE CAN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted February 14, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2014 HEY IS REMO GOING TO BE PLOT RELEVANT TOO? HE CAN GET RESULTS I KNOW HE CAN I'm sure he could. But Remo is a Navy Commanders so he might make an appearance (8/) I really don't know if he is going to come in and actually do anything. So tl;dr I don't have anything planned for him that I can recall off the top of my head. If you have ANYTHING you might want to have your character do I'm always interested in hearing what you guys wants. But just remember that it's my choice if I listen or not (83) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted February 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2014 Hey everyone here is a nice little update for you! I know this was supposed to be uploaded with the last chapter but the forum wouldn't let me do it. And believe me after putting 30+ chapters into spoilers it becomes tedious. Thank Google Documents! Trio of DEF Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted February 23, 2014 Report Share Posted February 23, 2014 I don't know if it's just me or if it's too big or whatever, but it isn't loading for me. New chapter's out in a couple days or so, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted February 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 I don't know if it's just me or if it's too big or whatever, but it isn't loading for me. New chapter's out in a couple days or so, right? It didn't load for me either a few times. Give it time and let me know if it won't load. And yeah the new chapter will be out in a couple days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toffee. Posted February 24, 2014 Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 You know, Jake, if your having an issue with the OP-You could always make a separate post to hold other chapters, then include a link to said posts in the OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted February 24, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 24, 2014 You know, Jake, if your having an issue with the OP- You could always make a separate post to hold other chapters, then include a link to said posts in the OP. Yeah I've already had to move the biographies to another post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted February 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 25, 2014 New Update a Day Early? U HAPPY REMO!? XD I kid . . . mostly I hope those who have been given children like them. Also the address is actually a code for a thread here on the website. Free cameo to anyone who gets what thread it is (83) Also, new poll updated as well. Sheesh . . . I update the original story, a new chapter, new biographies, AND a new three question poll? I might need TWO months off now (XD) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted February 26, 2014 Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 I'd answer the poll...but it keeps saying "Error"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toffee. Posted February 26, 2014 Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 Finally got around to reading the rest of the latest chapter(I was interrupted last night)Basically, in short, it's an episode of pure shenanigans.Also, part of me thinks it could be played out with the cast of Azumanga Daioh; It would be sillier, just go with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted February 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 I'd answer the poll...but it keeps saying "Error"... Try now Basically, in short, it's an episode of pure shenanigans. Also, part of me thinks it could be played out with the cast of Azumanga Daioh; It would be sillier, just go with it. Well I wouldn't call it pure shenanigans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smear Posted February 26, 2014 Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 Oi am I still like dead in this one bc being brutally murdered makes me sad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted February 26, 2014 Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 You know, I'm calling this random stranger Deustodo, because thats the only guy I know who is stupid enough to act like that. Also, protip for the quiz: If you picked Creator, your wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted February 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 26, 2014 Oi am I still like dead in this one? Because being brutally murdered makes me sad Well I don't want to "revive the dead" unless I can figure a way that actually makes sense in the given world. So don't expect to be brought back by some magical revival spell or what not. The short story with Rosa coming back was . . . well . . . just her as a ghost. I believe in ghosts and to me that could be included in the story. So you might so up as a ghost but don't hold your breath. You know, I'm calling this random stranger Deustodo, because that's the only guy I know who is stupid enough to act like that. Really? The only one stupid enough to act like that? Also, protip for the quiz: If you picked Creator, your wrong. Why can't it be you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted February 27, 2014 Report Share Posted February 27, 2014 Why can't it be you? Creator doesn't talk like that at all. And the fact that this guy reminded me of Deustodo too a bit would indicate Creator would never want to put up an act similar to him. So for the actual chapter, I'd say my favorite part was the new dynamic between Zugai and Anne. Don't really know a thing about Anne and her being a painfully shy tag-along character was annoying at first, but she could be fun if she and Zugai help each other develop some more. And the scene with Chris, DL and the random guy (1st guess is Wiseman, but who knows) was interesting too. Although, DL would never harp on someone for being ugly after running into him. Kinda hated the rehearsal scene to be honest; I know Keiko's supposed to be a bit of comic relief by not giving a f*ck, but ripping girl's dresses would never fly IRL. As a teacher, Lora should have at least sent her to the principal or something. Also, just be careful with all these characters you're juggling. My main problem with DEF is I had too many and there was imbalanced character development and exposure; I don't want that to happen to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted February 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2014 Creator doesn't talk like that at all. And the fact that this guy reminded me of Deustodo too a bit would indicate Creator would never want to put up an act similar to him. Okay that's a valid point. I'd say my favorite part was the new dynamic between Zugai and Anne. Don't really know a thing about Anne and her being a painfully shy tag-along character was annoying at first, but she could be fun if she and Zugai help each other develop some more. To be hones the more I write this chapter I find myself liking Anne more and more. In fact she is up there in the top three with Rachel only being the better. And her personality was always supposed to be a shy and meek, though you'll see in later chapters she can stand for herself. And yes, her and Zugai will grow closer as time passes. Kinda hated the rehearsal scene to be honest; I know Keiko's supposed to be a bit of comic relief by not giving a f*ck, but ripping girl's dresses would never fly IRL. As a teacher, Lora should have at least sent her to the principal or something. Well the rehearsal served a few purposes. Continuity Introduce other characters Show Lisa isn't abandoning her friends for Adam; development between Lisa, Adam, and Al General "get the chapter rolling" Show Lora is just as bad at putting on a play as I was I thought it was kind of funny since Keiko just shows how random she is. I mean...........she does things just because it might be funny. Also, just be careful with all these characters you're juggling. My main problem with DEF is I had too many and there was imbalanced character development and exposure; I don't want that to happen to you. I understand. To be honest we're going to get a few more characters that play a bit of importance into the story and a few more that will just make cameos or play little importance. That said the story is going to focus on a select few and give them development, like we've seen with Anne and Zugai in this chapter, while others won't get any development at all. For instance there isn't going to be a lot of character development for any of the "adult" characters like Fusion, DL, El, etc. since I consider them "complete characters". But Zugai, Rachel, Anne, Sven, Hiru, Lisa, Adam, Violet, etc. will be given character development throughout the story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted February 28, 2014 Report Share Posted February 28, 2014 Well the rehearsal served a few purposes.ContinuityIntroduce other charactersShow Lisa isn't abandoning her friends for Adam; development between Lisa, Adam, and AlGeneral "get the chapter rolling"Show Lora is just as bad at putting on a play as I wasI thought it was kind of funny since Keiko just shows how random she is. I mean...........she does things just because it might be funny.I understand.Seriously though, imagine that setting IRL and people would be going WTF is wrong with you at her rather than getting a laugh out of it. Maybe if the girls reacted in a way that would ease the mood, but we didn't see how they reacted to their dresses being torn .-.To be honest we're going to get a few more characters that play a bit of importance into the story and a few more that will just make cameos or play little importance. That said the story is going to focus on a select few and give them development, like we've seen with Anne and Zugai in this chapter, while others won't get any development at all. For instance there isn't going to be a lot of character development for any of the "adult" characters like Fusion, DL, El, etc. since I consider them "complete characters". But Zugai, Rachel, Anne, Sven, Hiru, Lisa, Adam, Violet, etc. will be given character development throughout the story.Yeah, that makes more sense on what to do. Looking forward to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 1, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 1, 2014 Seriously though, imagine that setting IRL and people would be going WTF is wrong with you at her rather than getting a laugh out of it. Maybe if the girls reacted in a way that would ease the mood, but we didn't see how they reacted to their dresses being torn .-. Well they didn't really know how to react. Keiko is the kind of person who when you first meet her you really don't know what to do or say beyond, "Is she crazy?" She's the Pinkie Pie of the group to draw an analogy to a similar character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2014 Update coming soon . . . What is everyone expecting in this chapter? inb4goodwritingjokesaremade (>>) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 A New Chapter has been added! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted March 26, 2014 Report Share Posted March 26, 2014 *Reads the first few lines of the new chapter* Awesome way to start it off! *Continues reading* Secondary title to this should be: "The Sonic Screwed Up Chapter" XD All in all, I enjoyed this chapter Jake!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 Secondary title to this should be: "The Sonic Screwed Up Chapter" XD All in all, I enjoyed this chapter Jake!! What did you expect? You did go over your superiors heads without alerting them and got people injured. But don't think Specter Sonic and Susie are out of the game just yet . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 What did you expect? You did go over your superiors heads without alerting them and got people injured. But don't think Specter Sonic and Susie are out of the game just yet . . . *Ideas come to mind* ... You are evil...so now the Chao's have a target on their back like this... Tell me I'll lose the current act and get awesome later...right? o.o XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 *Ideas come to mind* ... What ideas? I wanna hear them! And if ANYONE has a suggestion for how I can include something or you guys think something should be added, I know Kakashi and Raine did so already, I'd be happy to hear them. No promises on if they'd actually be utilized but I'm open to ideas. Tell me I'll lose the current act and get awesome later...right? o.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted March 27, 2014 Report Share Posted March 27, 2014 What ideas? I wanna hear them! Actually thought about the Spliced theory on Susie...something like that causes them to be watched carefully or even tried to be eliminated or something. Currently that was the main idea I thought of: Something tying in with that Susie=Spliced Theory. YOU TEASE!!! XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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