ZeRainbowDash Posted November 1, 2013 Report Share Posted November 1, 2013 I expect harsh criticism, as this is my first time actually doing a fanfic... if its bad feel free to tell me. If you guys want I'll write more. If no well ok then [spoiler=Le Story]The sun dawned bright over New York City, where the Duel Monsters World Championship was being held. Thousands of eager duelists were entering, but only one would become victor. With double elimination, the thousands would soon become hundreds, then hundreds would become dozens, and the dozens would end up as fifty. People of all nationalities, creeds and ages were here. Ethan Drake stood on a street corner with a bag over his shoulder, and a deck box on his hip. He was tall, with fair hair and gray eyes. He wore a black jacket with the Duel Monsters logo emblazoned on it. That, along with the duel disk he wore on his left arm, marked him as a contestant in the Championship. He hailed a taxi and climbed in, then directed him to the Coliseum, where official duels took place. Most of the duels in the tournament would be won or lost in the streets, with only the finalists dueling in the Coliseum. “You competin’ in that tourney?” the cabby asked. A thick Brooklyn accent made his words slightly hard to understand to Ethan, who was born in Monroe, North Carolina. “Yes sir,” he answered. “Well good luck to ya. You’ll need it. They say that the last year’s winner is back. Heard he’s never lost a match.” “Really? Well, there’s a first for everything.” Ethan replied, dismissing the cabby’s pessimism. “Well, here ya go.” the cabby answered. “That’ll be twelve dollars and sixty-seven cents.” “Here. Keep the change,” Ethan answered, handing him a twenty. He opened the door and climbed out, savoring the crisp autumn air, then proceeded to the check-in. He opened the main doors and stepped in. The massive entry hall was packed, with close to a thousand people all talking at the same time, milling around. Ethan glanced at the massive screen that took up most of the far wall. It directed him to the table with last names A-E. Seven computer monitors rested on the table. There were no keyboards, so he assumed it was a touchscreen. He tapped the screen. It showed the Duel Monsters logo for a moment, then an application screen popped up. Name: Age: Social Security: Deck: He tapped out “Ethan Drake, 19, 335-98-4486, Hieratics”, then tapped “Submit.” A box appeared, with the words “Thank you for entering, have a nice day.” Ethan turned away and moved towards the screen. A long list of names and decks scrolled down. He was astonished at the multitude of decks that were listed on the screen. Suddenly the screen flashed, then cut to a man in a three-piece suit and fedora. “Welcome Duelists. I am Jace Wild, creator and president of Duel Monsters. I have hosted this little tournament to discover the best duelist in the world. There are twelve hundred and fifty of you. The rules of this are simple- you challenge each other. If you are challenged, you must accept it. If you refuse, you are disqualified. If you lose twice, you are disqualified. You will each receive a small chip to place in your duel disk. If you are defeated, it will record it. If you are victorious, it will also be recorded. When there are 50 contestants left, you will all be notified, and the brackets will be set up for the rest. Thank you, and I bid you good luck. Farewell” Immediately, chaos ensued as people began challenging one another. Ethan just slipped through the crowd, then opened the door and stepped outside. “And so it begins…” He muttered. Duel 1 Three hours later Ethan was sitting in a diner, eating lunch when the door clicked open and a large group of duelists stepped in and began to order. He was sitting in the back corner, hoping they would just glance over him. He sipped his coffee, trying to look inconspicuous, although that was rather difficult with a duel disk on his arm. Suddenly a one of the duelists spotted him. He nudged the one studying the menu, then pointed Ethan out. The duelist approached, and sat down at his table. Long shaggy brown hair framed his face and he had piercing green eyes. “So, you in the tournament?” he asked. “Yes, I am” Ethan answered. “Well so am I,” the duelist said. “What’s your name? I don’t recognize you.” “Ethan Drake,” he replied raising his head and looking the duelist right in the eyes. “Well Ethan Drake Do you know who I am?” “No, I don’t,” Ethan said. “I am Alan Lee,” The duelist answered, clearly expecting Ethan to know the name. When he gave no sign of recognition, Lee snapped open his duel disk. “You’re either new, or you’re stupid. Either way I won’t have a problem beating you! I challenge you to a duel!” “Alright.” Ethan stood, snapped his own disk open, then walked to the diner doors and stepped outside. He took his deck out of the box, then slid it into the deck slot, then did the same with his extra Deck. The streets cleared around them, giving the two duelist space, but still keeping a circle of spectators. “I’ll start this show off!” Lee said, the drew his hand. “I summon Fire King Avatar Yaksha in Attack Position!” Fire King Avatar Yaksha Level 4/Fire/Beast-Warrior [spoiler=Effect]If a face-up “Fire King” monster you control is destroyed by a card effect and sent to the Graveyard(except during the damage step): You can Special Summon this card from your hand. If this card is destroyed and sent to the Graveyard: You can destroy 1 card in your hand or that you control. You can only use the effect of “Fire King Avatar Yaksha” once per turn[/spoiler] ATK/1800/DEF/200 “Then I activate Fire Formation- Tenki. And When Tenki is activated, I can add a Beast Warrior to my hand from my deck. And I’ll bring Brotherhood of the Fire First- Bear! Then set two and end my turn.” “Draw!” Ethan drew, then studied his hand. “Alright. Now, I’ll activate Hieratic Seal of Convocation, which allows me to take a Hieratic to my hand. So I’ll bring Hieratic Dragon of Tefnuit to my hand. And because you control a monster and I don’t, I can Special Summon him! So come on out, Hieratic Dragon of Tefnuit!” A golden dragon with a white mane appeared on the field with a burst of white light, forcing Lee to blink. Hieratic Dragon of Tefnuit Level 6/Light/Dragon [spoiler=Effect] If your opponent controls a monster and you control no monsters, you can Special Summon this card(from your hand) This card cannot attack during the turn it is Special Summoned this way. When this card is tributed: Special Summon 1 Dragon-Type Normal Monster from your hand, Deck or Graveyard.[/spoiler] ATK/2100/DEF/1400 Next I activate Hieratic Seal of Supremacy, which allows me to special summon 1 Hieratic monster from my hand! I Special Summon Hieratic Dragon of Eset in Attack Position!” Hieratic Dragon of Eset Level 5/Light/Dragon [spoiler=Effect]You can Normal Summon this card without Tributing, but its original ATK becomes 1000. Once per turn: You can target 1 face-up Dragon-Type Normal monster on the field, the Levels of all face-up Hieratic monsters currently on the field become the Level of that card until the End Phase. When this card is Tributed, Special Summon 1 Dragon-Type Normal Monster from your hand, Deck or Graveyard.[/spoiler] ATK/1900/DEF/1200 “I’ll set two and end my turn.” Ethan said, sliding two cards into the duel disk. Now on his side of the field were a golden dragon and a purple one, as opposed to the saber-cat with the staff on Lee’s. “OK, I draw!” Lee drew his card, the grinned. “Exactly what I needed! Now I activate my set card- Generation Shift! You see, now I can destroy one card I control to add another with the same name from my deck! So long, Yaksha!” The monster shattered into little fragments that dissipated in the wind. “Now, Yaksha’s special ability activates! I can destroy 1 card from my hand or that I control. So, from my hand I’ll destroy Fre King High Avatar Garunix! Then, because you control a monster and I don’t, I’ll activate the Spell card Onslaught of the Fire Kings, which lets me Special Summon a Beast-Warrior, Beast or Winged beast monster from my Deck. So I’ll bring on out Fire King High Avatar Garunix!” Another one! Ethan thought, Damn! How am I going to stop that loop??? “But that’s not all! I now activate Circle of the Fire Kings! I can destroy a Fire monster I control to Special Summon another from the Graveyard. So I’ll just go ahead and trade Garunixes!” A massive heat wave blasted through the street as the High Avatar appeared on the field with a gout of flame. Fire King High Avatar Garunix Level 8/Fire/Winged-Beast [spoiler=Effect]During the next Standby Phase after this card is destroyed by a card effect and sent to the Graveyard: Special Summon this card from the Graveyard. When you do: Destroy all other monsters on the field. When this card is destroyed by battle and sent to the Graveyard: Special Summon 1 “Fire King” monster from your Deck, except “Fire King Avatar Garunix.”[/spoiler] ATK/2700/DEF/1700 Ethan clenched his teeth, knowing he would have to do something before Lee started running a Garunix loop. “Go, Fire King High Avatar Garunix! Attack Eset with Searing Flame!” A crimson jet of fire struck the purple dragon, and it shattered. Ethan felt the heat from the fire as it destroyed his monster and ate away at his Life Points. 7400 I 8000 “Then I’ll set two more and end my turn,” “I draw!” Ethan looked at the card he had drawn: One Day of Peace. “Now that it’s your standby phase, my Garunix’s effect activates. Come on back!” The blistering heat wave came again, and the monster reappeared on the field. “And now his effect kicks in- All other monsters are destroyed! Go, Crimson Sunburst!” A ring of fire flared out from the monster’s wings, but when it disappeared, Ethan’s monsters were still standing. “Not so fast.” he said, “I activate Hieratic Seal of Reflection- which negates your monster’s effect and destroys it!” Hieratic Seal of Reflection [spoiler=Effect]When a Spell Card, Trap Card, or monster effect is activated: Tribute 1 Hieratic monster; negate the activation and if you do, destroy it[/spoiler] A round seal flared in the air, sending the fire back at the Garunix, destroying it. “And now that I have tributed my Eset for the activation, I can Special Summon a Dragon-Type Normal monster! Come on out, Hieratic Seal of the Sun Dragon Overlord! Golden light flared, and from it descended a golden orb with a strange symbol etched into it. It seemed to glow with the light of the sun, and Lee had to shield his eyes until the light faded. “Now, I activate my trap card Reckless Greed, allowing me to draw two cards at the cost of my next two draw phases.” Ethan drew, then smiled. Now it is time to end this duel! I Tribute Hieratic Dragon of Tefnuit to Special Summon Hieratic Dragon of Su! Then from my deck I Special Summon Galaxy Serpent!” Hieratic Dragon of Su Level 6/Light/Dragon [spoiler=Effect]You can Special Summon this card(from your hand) by Tributing 1 “Hieratic” monster you control. Once per turn: You can Tribute 1 “Hieratic” monster, except this card, from your hand or your side of the field, to target 1 Spell/Trap card your opponent controls, destroy that target. When this card is tributed: Special Summon 1 Dragon-Type Normal Monster from your hand Deck or Graveyard. [/spoiler] ATK/2200/DEF/1000 Galaxy Serpent Level 2/Light/Dragon/Tuner [spoiler=Lore]Your hopes and dreams will be refreshed if you catch a glimpse of thise rare creature in the evening twilight, soaring in the Sea of Stars[/spoiler] ATK/1000/DEF/0 “Next I Tune my Hieratic Seal of the Sun Dragon Overlord and Galaxy Serpent to form a Level 10 Synchro monster!” A supernova of flame appeared behind Ethan and three reptilian heads thrust out, along with an ear shattering roar. “Arise, Trident Dragion!” Trident Dragion Level 10/Fire/Dragon/Synchro [spoiler=Effect]1 Dragon-type Tuner + 1 or more Non-Tuner Dragon-Type monsters This monster cannot be Special Summoned, except by Synchro Summon. When this card is Synchro Summoned, you can destroy up to 2 cards you control. If you do, for each card destroyed by this effect, this card gains 1 additional attack.[/spoiler] ATK/3000/DEF/2800 Lee looked at the massive dragon behind Ethan with shock. “I’m not done yet! I activate Su’s effect and Tribute Hieratic Seal of the Sun Dragon Overlord from my hand to destroy one of your set cards!” “Which one?” “It doesn’t matter- I activate Mystical Space Typhoon, destroying the other one!” Ethan was down to two cards in his hand. It was time to end this. “Now, let’s get rid of that Garunix! I Tribute Su for Hieratic Dragon of Nebthet. And now, with Su’s effect, I Summon Hieratic Seal of the Sun Dragon Overlord from my Graveyard. But it won’t be there for long- I’m Tributing it to activate Nebthet’s effect! By Tributing a Hieratic monster, I can destroy one of yours! Now Nebthet- Cleansing Flame!” A jet of purple flire struck Garunix, destroying it. “Now I set one card. Which doesn’t matter, because of Trident Dragion’s effect, I’ll send Nebthet and that Set card to the Grave to give Trident Dragion two more attacks. Now, Trident Dragion- end this duel! Supernova Blast!” The three heads drew close and sent a huge fireball right at Lee. The blast hit, and he dropped to his knees. 7400 I 0000 “You’re good, kid. Really good. I’ll give you that.” The spectating crowd went wild as the holograms faded. Ethan walked over to Lee and offered him his hand. Lee took it and Ethan pulled him to his feet. “Good game,” Ethan said, clapping him on the back. “Had me worried when I saw that Garunix loop emerging…” “You countered it well though. Well played. Now, I plan on finding a bar and forgetting this ever happened. Until we meet again.” With that they each went their seperate ways, Ethan back into the diner and Lee to go find his bar.[/spoiler] To be continued.. If yall wish that is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catterjune Posted November 2, 2013 Report Share Posted November 2, 2013 I'm not invested in any of the characters. I don't know why any of them are doing anything, and then suddenly there's a duel.Your fic is like this random sword fight:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0CSrUrfA98Even though it may be interesting to watch, without knowing anything about the people behind the mask I don't really care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZeRainbowDash Posted November 2, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 2, 2013 So i need to develop the characters more. Ok. Will do. Any other advice? Will revise and update it over the next few days Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blacklion65 Posted November 13, 2013 Report Share Posted November 13, 2013 I have a question, will numbers be appearing in this story as normal xyz monsters? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZeRainbowDash Posted November 13, 2013 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2013 Yes, they won't have any larger part unless it is someone's boss monster. For example, Trident Dragion is Ethan's boss. Most likely this will be completely rewritten so that the characters are actually developed. SO It may be awhile. Also need to update the oter story I have up, the as yet titleless one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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