Newer Member Contest [1-3 Stars] [JUDGED/FINISHED]

[EPTinYugi]

 Eptinyugi, some of your art looks squashed, however I like the idea, there are OCG Errors however I like the idea of Counters when Battle Position is changed. Good work.
 

Thanks! :) I'll try to fix the OCG errors later on. Thank you for having me and have a good day.  :)

[TFMegamanlan]

What exactly do you mean by "so large"? Do you mean the image size exactly or the cards/effects? (I just want to know for when I'm working on them.)

[:^)]

What exactly do you mean by "so large"? Do you mean the image size exactly or the cards/effects? (I just want to know for when I'm working on them.)

 

The actual size of the cards you made were quite large, and the first two images you used look two small for the card size, so I'm assuming the template you're using is quite large.

[TFMegamanlan]

Yea, I use a Phone app to make my cards. I dont know why the pictures come out so big...

[Avaren]

Avaren, however you didn't make cards specifically for the contest, it is better, because that way you had no OCG fixes for your cards, and they're how you initially made them. The art is quite nice, however there are OCG Errors. Good work however.

 

I would like to point out that while none of these cards where edited for the contest, some have changed from how I had originally made them (In particular 2nd Degree and Chains, chains has changed many times from the initial creation which was decidedly much more powerful then it's current form).

 

I would be quite grateful if you could point out the OCG wrong with my cards. As they do come from a set, there are similarities between a heap of cards within the set, so a OCG mistake on one could mean a OCG mistake on a lot of the cards.

[:^)]

I would like to point out that while none of these cards where edited for the contest, some have changed from how I had originally made them (In particular 2nd Degree and Chains, chains has changed many times from the initial creation which was decidedly much more powerful then it's current form).

 

I would be quite grateful if you could point out the OCG wrong with my cards. As they do come from a set, there are similarities between a heap of cards within the set, so a OCG mistake on one could mean a OCG mistake on a lot of the cards.

 

Alright then. 

 

IceBurn - Crystal Slice

 

You can Target 1 card on the field; that card and/or its effects cannot be activated. Only 1 card can be Targeted by this effect at a time.

During each of your opponents Standby Phases, if this card is Targeting a card on the field; deal 100 damage to your opponent.

 

Should be:

You can Target 1 card on the field; The Targeted card and it's effects cannot be activated; You can only Target 1 card with the effect of "IceBurn - Crystal Slice". During each of your opponent's Standby Phases: If this card is Targeting a card on the field: Inflict 100 damage to your opponent.

 

I'm assuming that when you say "Only 1 card can be Targeted by this effect at a time" you only mean Crystal Slice's, also the burn is quite minuscule.

 

IceBurn - Lizard Infantry

 

When this card is Summoned, destroy all cards targeted by a "IceBurn" card and Special Summon a "IceBurn" monster from your deck that's level is equal to or less then the amount of cards destroyed by this effect.

This card is treated as a Level 2 monster for a Synchro Summon,

 

Should be:

When this card is Summoned: Destroy all cards targeted by an "IceBurn" effect; Then Special Summon an "IceBurn" monster from your deck that's level is equal to or less than the amount of cards destroyed by this effect. This card is treated as a Level 2 monster for a Synchro Summon.

 

IceBurn - Magma Glow

 

Once per turn, you can destroy a card targeted by a "IceBurn" card; Deal 250 Damage to your opponent.

When this card destroys a monster by battle; Select a card that is Targeted by a "IceBurn" card, then Target a card in your Graveyard; Destroy the selected card, then shufle the targeted card to your Deck.

 

Should be:

Once per turn: You can destroy 1 card targeted by an "IceBurn" effect; Inflict 250 Damage to your opponent. When this card destroys an opponent's monster by battle and sends it to the Graveyard: Target 1 card that is Targeted by an "IceBurn" effect; Then Target 1 card in your Graveyard; Destroy the Targeted monster and return the Targeted card to your Deck.

 

IceBurn 2nd Degree Burn

 

If a "IceBurn" monster you control deals damage to your opponent (either by battle or by effect); deal 500 damage to your opponent.

If this card is destroyed; Target 1 card on the field; Destroy it during your next Draw Phase. If you have a "IceBurn 3rd Degree Burn' in your Graveyard while this card is face up on the field; you can target that card; send it to the bottom of your deck.

 

Should be:

When an "IceBurn" monster you control inflicts damage to your opponent (either by battle or by effect): Inflict 500 damage to your opponent.

When this card is destroyed: Target 1 card on the field and Destroy it during your next Draw Phase. Once per turn: While this card is face-up on the field you can return 1 "IceBurn 3rd Degree Burn" from your Graveyard to your Deck.

 

IceBurn Savage Chains

 

Once during either players turn; you can activate 1 of the following effects (and if you do you cannot activate the other effect next turn);

- Target 1 monster on the field; it cannot declare an attack and loses 500 ATK/DEF.

- Select 1 targeted card on the field; Negate the effects of that card (this effect lasts until the next Draw Phase) OR destroy that card.

 

Should be:

Once during either players turn: You can activate 1 of the following effects (if you do, you cannot activate this card until your second Main Phase after this card's activation);

- Target 1 monster on the field: It loses 500 ATK and DEF; Then it cannot declare an attack until the End Phase.

- Target 1 card that is Targeted by an "IceBurn" monster: Your opponent can choose to either negate the effects of that card until the End Phase or Destroy the card.

 

Select was changed to Target with PSCT.

[TFMegamanlan]

Can you explain what is wrong with my OCG Grammar as well? thanks =)

[Avaren]

Alright then. 

 

~stuff~

 

Select was changed to Target with PSCT.

 thanks, while some of what you fixed changes the wanted effects, I'll still be making changes that should improve the set's OCG.

 

 

"I'm assuming that when you say "Only 1 card can be Targeted by this effect at a time" you only mean Crystal Slice's, also the burn is quite minuscule."

 

What I mean by that is that while Crystal Slice is targeting a card, you cannot activate it's effect to target another card.

The burn is meant to be small, the majority of the set burns the opponent, so having a large burn effect would increase the sets power a lot, also Crystal Slice has one of the better "freeze" effects and is one of the strongest base water monsters by ATK/DEF. I don't believe it needs to out-shine the other base water monsters further then it currently does.

 

 

Also, I would like to argue something about this:

"You can Target 1 card on the field; The Targeted card and it's effects cannot be activated; You can only Target 1 card with the effect of "IceBurn - Crystal Slice""

I can't find where I remember this from, but I believe effects are meant to be placed like this:

Effect activation requirements (and if none, Effect Targets): Effect Targets (if any and not already written); Effects. Restriction on Effect (If any).

 

for an example I'll point out the E.Rulers, which have all their effects, then as a separate sentence they have the restriction to those effects at the end.

 

The way you structured the effect /w it's restriction is different from this format:

Effect activation requirements /w Effect Targets; Effect: Restriction on Effect.

 

Plz note that with this, I'm only pointing out the placement of the Effect and the Restriction on Effect parts.

[:^)]

Can you explain what is wrong with my OCG Grammar as well? thanks =)

 

I'll get around to it ASAP