first card for an own tcg

[youbu]

hey, i'm new here and don't even know if this is the right place to post, but i've been making a card for about one week now and i think it's almost finished. now i want to get some feedback to maybe improve it. the context is obviously not importet yet and the stuff you see is just place holding.

 

(it's a little over-watermarked, sorry for that, but i wanted to be safe)

 

 

i would love to get some feedback from you guys.

greetings from germany

[Night]

Wrong section, moved. 

[Blake]

Wrong section, moved.

[Sleepy]

It's fine if you want to keep stuff protected, but I can't even understand what is writen there.

I see an image, but it's gonna be hard commenting on anything except how the design of the image, fonts, and colors look.

 

What are we focusing on here?

How does the card work? How does the game work? What are all those numbers around the 4 text boxes?

 

For now, the only thing I can say is, it looks a bit too overly complex with all those amounts to keep track of.

 

There is also that the image is just a little bit of the card.

More often than not, what the initial appeal for me is in a TCG, is the art. but this looks like it's squeesed in on the little space the card had left, in an awkardly long rectangular landscape shape.

 

 

Be sure that even if you want a game to have a complex enough enviroment, that doesn't always mean that each card itself must be ubberly busy like this one seems to be. Simple effects accumulating whithin the cards that combo together is good enough. Always try to keep it simple and fun.

 

Now with that said, I'll await your answers, and welcome to YCM, as I see that is your first post.

[youbu]

hello sleepy, thanks for your answer and thanks for welcoming me!

one night i wasn't really sleepy when i started thinking of the good old times playing yu-gi-oh with my friends and wanting to be able to create my own games. just then i remembered that i was actually able to and started drawing a concept.
i thougt of the game as something like a strategy game, where you have multiple layers to place cards to either defend your own or damage your oppenent's. as simple as it is, as soon as the king died, you would loose the game. marados is one of these kings. i'll upload a grid of how the playing field works as soon as i get to make one.
also i thought of getting something new in my tcg. i came up with armory. just like in a moba you would be able to either make your card more tanky or more damage dealing. (that's what the white dots in the middle are.)

thinking of such a complex game, i think it's ok to neglect the art.

since my handwriting seems to be catastrophic, i'll type the description and upload it again.



cheers

[Sleepy]

Oh I think I understand (and correct me if I'm wrong because I'm trying to guess from the new info given).

 

You can either play it defensive or non-defensive. Defense Points are used when playing in defensive.

 

If you play it in non-defensive, it can either battle with it's Magical or Physical power, and both are sort of like ATK in Yugioh, but it might be very high in one and very low in another one, giving it more of a chance to be taken down.

 

When it takes damage, I guess it's the difference between both Magical/Physical powers to the loser, substracted from the HP.

 

Passive = Continuous effect always on.

 

Skill = Sort of trigger effects.

 

MP from what I understand so far, seems to be that everytime you use a skill, it has a respective cost from that MP resourse in the card.

 

Both Skills are just on different boxes to indicate they are separate.

To be honest, on that one, you don't have to really do that. It's too much trouble for both the card designer AND the player reading the busy-ness of the card. Yugioh has complex effects, but people can always at least understand when 2 effects are not related to each other. Also, Magic the Gathering simply posts sort of universal terms to label certain effects like trample (piercing), etc. I see your effects have tittles too. Maybe you can just do that if the effects are too widely used among cards. Just post their definition in the rulebook.

The passive skill is also a skill. Vanguard doesn't seem to have a problem having it share a box with everything else as long as you specify that it's passive.

Regardless of wether it has a tittle to identify it or not, you can always write it as sort of this:

Vanish [-20 MP]: Marados stuns one enemy damage dealer for one draw.

and so on.

 

It'd also be wise to put something to identify each set of points.

Something like the word "Defense" or "Def" for short, or "Shield", or a shield symbol, for that corresponding section. Like writing the letters "HP" and "MP" respectively. It's not a MUST, but it'd make it more beginner-friendly.

Sometimes it makes a big difference to put simple guidelines like that. It's not that people can't memorize it, but people are usually lazy. Especially if the art appeal is not gonna be that strong.

 

"Spec" is something I'm guessing is the equivalent to "Types" and "Attributes" in Yugioh or "Clans" in Vanguard. THOSE I think you'd give enough space for. Just enough to write out the whole world. It's more fun when you have "Mage" and "King" there than just a letter, which is hardly different from saying "Type 6", "Type 23", etc.

It's different from what I wrote above about skill tittles, since just a single letter doesn't really say anything at first glance.

Attributes in Yugioh, even if just a japanese sign, have a color code and you sort of know how many there are (it's pretty standard in card games).

 

The lore seems to be separated into 2 lines, that almost look like separate boxes. That sounds like an issue. They should seem to be either all in a single box, or all freely out. MTG puts them after the effect on the bottom of the card, but in the same box, and a different font. While Vanguard doesn't even use a box for them. Pokemon just has simple stuff like "Mew: Alfa Pokemon". So they have no issue with that either.

 

 

 

 

 

Those are the ideas I came up with.

I know putting something like this takes work, but those are my ideas.

Sorry if the suggestion looks like a lot of changes.