One Shot: The Disappearance of Princess Dionaea

[Catterjune]

When I had finally returned to the little town of Silvershine I had discovered quite a commotion. A large crowd had gathered at the central square, listening to the words of the castle's messenger. Not seeing much else to do I had decided to listen in on their meeting.

"After 3 long days the only conclusion we can draw is that foul play was afoot in Princess Dionaea's disappearance."

A murmur of whispers before a voice distinctly called out. "It was Sir Goddard!"

Followed by an even louder cacophony. Everyone called out their favorite theory for the girl's disappearance.

"It was the dark wizard Palindrome!"

"Bandits from the desert!"

"Pirates from Ravenport!"

The messenger merely shook his head, giving a sigh before blowing a horn to call their attention. The masses were quiet long enough to hear the messenger's voice.

"Sir Goddard has been more than reasonable and cooperative throughout this investigation. He merely wishes for the safe return of his beloved fiancée. Do not sully the name of the commander of the Knights of-"

"The Knights of Kadasid are in on it too!" More yells, some agreeing, some disagreeing.

I merely shook my head in disgust at the scene of people. It seemed a nearby villager however had noticed me.

"You disagree young man?" the blacksmith, a middle age, bear-like man questioned. "Think about it. Putting the prime suspect at the top of the investigation? It reeks of treachery!"

I raised a skeptical eyebrow before stating. "That's ridiculous. He loved Princess Dionaea. He wouldn't kidnap her. It wouldn't surprise me if the Princess just got sick of it all and left."

"Now who's talking crazy!" the baker, a portly young woman who had been overhearing our conversation chimed in. "Listen young man, the Princess had the perfect life up there in Castle Silvershine. She was a beautiful woman, wore the finest of dresses, ate the finest of foods, adorned with the finest of jewelery, engaged to the bravest and most handsome knight. A boy like you wouldn't understand a woman's heart!"

I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the castle's messenger.

"King Lucas and Queen Catherine have requested that all young, able-bodied men report to the castle tomorrow at sunrise aid in the search of their beloved princess."

The crowd seemed to be lulled by the messenger's words and began to thin out and slowly return to their duties. While they all had their own competing conspiracy ideas, they still only wanted to find out the truth behind their Princess's disappearance.

The messenger climbed onto his horse and slowly began making his way back to the castle, however he stopped dead in his tracks as out eyes met.

"You there," his sudden gesture to me caused me to flinch. "Young sir!"

"Y-yes?" I stated, regaining my composure after his sudden outburst.

"I've not seen you in Silvershine before. Just who are you anyway?"

"Call me... Darrow. I'm a... traveler. Traveling mercenary."

"Kind of thin to be a mercenary." He stated mockingly, eying me up and down. "But as long as you've got a pair of arms, legs, and a good set of eyes you'll do." He tossed me a copper coin with a picture of the Royal Family crest on it.

"See that big castle over there? Be there at sunrise tomorrow morning. That copper piece should be enough to get you a room at the inn for the night and a meal." The messenger's then pulled at his reins and had his horse turn around as he rode back to the palace and out of sight.

In truth, I didn't need the money but as a "traveling mercenary" it would be uncharacteristic to deny such a request.

I stayed at a local inn for the night and in the morning I found myself with about a hundred other young men from the kingdom in the castle courtyard.

We were ordered to get in line and register with the castle magistrate. I however, tried to suppress my excitement. No one there had yet realized how I had gotten rid of Princess Dionaea...

"Your name, sir?"

None of them knew how on the night of her disappearance, I held the Princess's clothes and tossed them into a fire. No one could see the blade at my side was the same blade I held as I grabbed the Princess's hair and... cut her long dark locks to the messy bob cut I now wore. Princess Dionae was gone and in her place -

"Darrow, traveling mercenary."

[Umbra]

Well, the twist was obvious - to me, at least - about halfway through the story, and the world seems a bit... bland, but I suppose that's what you can expect from an average one-shot. It could make for an interesting full-blown story, though, if you'd expand on the world and the history behind it.

 

As it is right now, it's alright, but it could be something much greater.

[Night]

The salient twist upset me.

 

The story itself lacks quite a bit, however it's structurally sound for the most part, and leaves much to be desired. It works in that regard. 

[Dr. Cakey]

I feel like there isn't enough...I don't know...meat to it. Granted it's a one-shot, but the paragraphs felt a little thin to me. Beyond that, there aren't any structural complaints, and if you wrote more I'd read it. So...yeah, I guess those are my thoughts.

 

I wonder if I can...fit any more ellipses...into this post...

[Aix]

I agree with Cakey here, it lacks any sort of content, though it was a pleasant quick read.

[Catterjune]

The one big rule about show business is always leave them wanting more.

While it was originally a prologue to something longer, I think it serves an alright purpose as a one shot. I just don't have the time or patience to commit myself to writing too long. Short stories are fine too.

[?someone?]

The one big rule about show business is always leave them wanting more.

While it was originally a prologue to something longer, I think it serves an alright purpose as a one shot. I just don't have the time or patience to commit myself to writing too long. Short stories are fine too.

 

Rules are meant to be broken, maaaaaan. >:C

Two things that haven't been said: Palindrome is a f***ing great name for a wizard (or an Batman villain), and those townsfolk with their rumours remind me of a particular Monty Python quote...

 

"She turned me into a newt."