AsianGuy1137 Posted January 13, 2013 Report Share Posted January 13, 2013 [i]What does it mean to be a duelist? Why do people duel? Why do I duel? Because I made a promise. A promise of two dreams joined together in hope...[/i] [center]===============[/center] [center][size=6]YU-GI-OH![/size][/center] [center][size=5]- Legacy of Hope[/size] [b]-[/b][/center] [center]===============[/center] Arc I [url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/295691-yu-gi-oh-legacy-of-hope/#entry6119937"]Chapter I[/url] [url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/295691-yu-gi-oh-legacy-of-hope/#entry6122552"]Chapter II[/url] Note: In the fanfic universe, only the original Yu-Gi-Oh! series will be considered canon. Everything else, e.g. GX, 5Ds, and Zexal, is not formally part of the universe. The fanfic uses a heavy amount of created cards. Some cards that exist in the real game, such as Tour Guide, Grapha, and Gates of Dark World, don't exist in the fanfic universe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Moonflowyr Posted January 13, 2013 Report Share Posted January 13, 2013 Those spoilers are [i]really[/i] awkward. Do this instead. The first time you mention a cards name, say Maxx C. Do something like this: "I use the effect of [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Maxx_C"]Maxx C[/url]!" And put a link to the cards wiki page on the card name instead of using the spoilers. Other than that, this was alright. You need to put some other hook in besides a duel, and something about a dream. The way you change scenes is also a bit awks. And we dont really know anything about the characters, not even what they look like. Not good. This needs some work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsianGuy1137 Posted January 13, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2013 [spoiler=Chapter I] - Unknown - A teenage boy stood on the side of a hospital bed, overlooking the condition of a girl, lying unconscious in the bed. The boy’s face was heavily disfigured while the girl’s face contrasted the boy’s with an unnaturally serene expression, almost as if she was lifeless. The boy held the girl’s hand with vigor as if he was trying to tether her last vestiges of life to his side. “I made a promise, a promise to uphold your dream through mine. I’ll never let go, I’ll never let go…” - Present - The loud, rhythmic beeping of an alarm clock woke up the teenager sleeping on a nearby bed. The teenager's name was Colton. He seemed like a normal teenager in every sense of the word. His diet consisted primarily of junk food and unhealthy carbonated soft drinks. His favorite hobby involved video games and Duel Monsters. He lived in a sizable apartment complex in a good neighborhood. Unlike other teenagers though, Colton had no parents to take care of him. He had no formal education that would qualify him as a useful part of society. And he had an unnaturally disfigured face full of scar tissue and abnormalities that would deem him as grotesque to any normal person. Still, Colton tried to live life as normally as he could. So by conditioned reflex, Colton immediately slammed on the alarm and promptly sat up. As consciousness slowly crept through the waking teenager, he semi-coherently muttered the phrase from his dream “I’ll never let go…” Vision returned to Colton, slowly sharpening the blurry outlines surrounding him into distinct shapes that he recognized as the contents of his bedroom. Colton picked up the top card of his deck, carefully examining every detail of the card. [center]Champion of Virtue - Hope[/center] [center]Monster | LIGHT | Rank 4 |ATK: 2500 | DEF: 2000[/center] [center]Warrior | Effect:[/center] [center]2 Level 4 LIGHT monsters[/center] [center]During the turn that this card is Xyz Summoned: This card cannot be destroyed or affected by your opponent’s card effects. Once per turn: You can detach 1 Xyz Material from this card; draw 1 card and gain 1000 Life Points.[/center] “I still remember the day you gave it to me and made me make the promise. Today, I promise you, I won’t disappoint. I’ve made it to the final round of the regional tournament, and I’m going to take first place. Then, I’ll finally have enough duelist points to enter the pro league. Wish me the best of luck.” Colton then proceeded to take care of his daily hygienic needs and dress up for the day ahead. After the morning routine was finished, Colton placed the card back into his deck case, alongside the rest of his deck before heading out for the big tournament. - Duel Stadium - In a large stadium sat thousands of spectators eagerly awaiting the final duel that would determine the outcome of the regional tournament and bestow the victor with the honor of being crowned the supreme regional duel champion. At the very center of the stadium, the dueling field was setup with extravagantly gilded marble tiles surrounded by an outer ring of finely-sculpted columns. The design of the field pervaded an atmosphere of Hellenistic magnificence. On one end stood Colton, wearing a hood partially covering his face, with his standard duel disk strapped on his left arm, activated and ready to be engaged in a duel. On the opposite end stood the defending champion of the tournament, similarly ready to start. Above the dueling field, four large screens, each facing one of the four main directions, displayed the avatars of the two contestants. “We’ve all been waiting for this moment since the start commencement of the tournament. After one long week of thrilling, impassioned, and exceptional dueling from the best contestants the region has to offer, we gather here to witness the epic conclusion of the grand event. Who will receive the honor of being crowned as the true pinnacle of dueling prowess, the title of the supreme regional duel champion? Will it be the long-established and proven champion, time and time again - the unsurpassed colossus, Max Gregor? Or will it be the aspiring but radiant rising star, Colton Summers? Let’s find out as we commence the final battle - duel!” [center]Duel Start[/center] [center]Colton: 8000 (5/0/0) || Max: 8000 (5/0/0)[/center] A coin with the face of both contestants each on one side was flipped on the large screens. After a few seconds of twirling, it settled down with Max face-up. The announcer declare, “Max Gregor will go first!” [center]Turn 1[/center] [center]Colton: 8000 (5/0/0) || Max: 8000 (6/0/0)[/center] “I’ll start,” declared Max, “By activating [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_World_Dealings]Dark World Dealings[/url]!” Both players performed the action. Max continued, “I discarded [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Broww,_Huntsman_of_Dark_World]Broww, Huntsman of Dark World[/url] so I can draw one more card.” “Next,” stated Max, “I activate Demonic Ascension by banishing Broww from my graveyard!” [spoiler=Demonic Ascension] Spell | Normal Banish 1 Fiend-Type monster from your Graveyard; add 1 Fiend-Type monster with the same Level as the banished monster from your Deck to your hand.[/spoiler] “With it,” explained Max, “I’ll add Fabled Evocatorus from my deck to my hand and summon it.” Max Field: Fabled Evocatorus (4/1500/800). [spoiler=Fabled Evocatorus] Monster | LIGHT | **** | ATK: 1500 | DEF: 800 Fiend | Tuner | Effect: If this card is discarded to the Graveyard: You can Special Summon it. When this card is Summoned: Add 1 “Fabled” monster from your Deck or Graveyard to your hand, then discard 1 card.[/spoiler] “I’ll add Fabled Grimro from my deck to my hand and discard [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Snoww,_Unlight_of_Dark_World]Snoww, Unlight of Dark World[/url] to add Crimsin, Eradicator of Dark World from my deck to my hand!” “I discard [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Fabled_Grimro]Fabled Grimro[/url] to add [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Fabled_Krus]Fabled Krus[/url] from my deck to my hand.” “Next, I activate Creeping Corruption by discarding Krus to draw two cards. Then, Krus’s effect triggers, letting me special summon Fabled Grimro from my grave!” [spoiler=Creeping Corruption] Spell | Normal Apply one of the following effects. * Discard 1 Fiend-Type monster from your hand; draw 2 cards. * Tribute 1 Fiend-Type monster you control; draw 1 card.[/spoiler] Max Field: Fabled Evocatorus (4/1500/800). Fabled Grimro (4/1700/1000). “Now, I’ll tune the two together to synchro summon [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Fabled_Valkyrus]Fabled Valkyrus[/url]!” “Using its effect, I’ll discard Fabled Ringiovanus to draw a card. I’ll set two cards and end. During the End Phase, the effect of Ringiovanus lets me return two fiend monsters from my grave to my hand.” [spoiler=Fabled Ringiovanus] Monster | LIGHT | *** | ATK: 1000 | DEF: 600 Fiend | Effect: During your Main Phase: You can discard this card and one other Fiend-Type monster from your hand. During the End Phase of the turn this card was discarded to the Graveyard: Target up to 2 Fiend-Type monsters in your Graveyard, except “Fabled Ringiovanus”; add them to your hand. You can only activate the effect of “Fabled Ringiovanus” once per turn.[/spoiler] “I’ll return Fabled Evocatorus and Snoww from my grave to my hand. That’ll be it.” The crowd went wild with applause and clamor. The overhead screens shifted to a display of the ceremonial commentator. “What a classic opening! In addition to gaining quite a bit of card advantage, Max was also able to masterfully summon one of his aces! Can Colton match such an opening play? Let’s find out!” [center]Turn 2[/center] [center]Colton: 8000 (6/0/0) || Max: 8000 (6/1/2)[/center] Max Field: Fabled Valkyrus (8/2900/1700) 2 Set Support Card “Not bad,” commented Colton, “But I’ve seen better. You’re running a turbo hybrid between Dark Worlds and Fableds which means the bulk of your cards are going to be monsters with built in value and enablers, leaving little room for any kind of reactive disruption.” “In other words, I’m not running a lot of traps. Good observation.” “But just to be safe,” continued Colton, “I’ll summon [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Pollux]Constellar Pollux[/url] and play Sudden Illumination, targeting your two set cards.” [spoiler=Sudden Illumination] Spell | Normal Activate only if you control a face-up LIGHT monster. Target up to 2 set cards on your opponent’s side of the field OR 2 cards in your opponent’s hand; reveal them and draw 1 card. Your opponent can discard 1 card; negate this card’s effect.[/spoiler] Max reluctantly complied, revealing the two set cards to be [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dragged_Down_into_the_Grave]Dragged Down into the Grave[/url] and Demonic Malevolence. [spoiler=Demonic Malevolence] Trap | Normal Banish 1 Fiend-Type monster from your Graveyard; destroy 1 card on the field.[/spoiler] “Interesting,” noted Colton, “Through Pollux’s continuous condition, I’ll summon [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Kaust]Constellar Kaust[/url].” “In response to the summon,” declared Max, “I’ll activate Demonic Malevolence by banishing Fabled Krus from my grave to destroy your Kaust!” “Chain,” responded Colton, “With [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Forbidden_Lance]Forbidden Lance[/url] targeting my Kaust!” “Fine,” stated Max, “Your monster lives.” “Good. I’ll use Kaust’s effect to increase the level of both my monsters by one. Then, I’ll overlay the two to xyz summon [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Pleiades]Constellar Pleiades[/url]!” Colton Field: Constellar Pleiades (R5/X2/2500/1500) “Now,” continued Colton, “I’ll enter the Battle Phase. I detach Kaust from Pleiades to bounce your Valkyrus!” Max picked up the card and put it back into the duel disk’s Extra Deck compartment. “Next,” continued Colton, “Pleiades will attack you directly!” [center]Max: 8000 -> 5500 (6/0/1)[/center] “I’ll set one support card and end my turn.” [center]Turn 3[/center] [center]Colton: 8000 (2/1/1) || Max: 5500 (7/0/1)[/center] Colton Field: Constellar Pleiades (R5/X1/2500/1500) Max Field: 1 Set Support Card “I’ll summon Fabled Evocatorus and use its effect to add another Grimro to my hand. Then, Evocatorus lets me discard Snoww and add Dark World Dealings to my hand. I’ll pitch Grimro to add another Fabled Ringiovanus from my deck to my hand and then use Dark World Dealings to discard Crimsin, Eradictor of Dark World and draw one card. Crimsin’s effect then triggers, letting me destroy your Pleiades!” [spoiler=Crimsin, Eradicator of Dark World] Monster | DARK | ****** | ATK: 2500 | DEF: 1400 Fiend | Effect: If this card is discarded to the Graveyard by a card effect: Destroy 1 monster your opponent controls. While this card is in your Graveyard: You can target 1 card in your hand; discard the card and Special Summon this card.[/spoiler] Colton watched helplessly as his monster exploded in a shower of pixels. Max grinned. “I’ll use Crimsin’s effect by discarding another Fabled Krus in my hand to special summon itself from the grave.” “Chain,” responded Colton, “With [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Maxx_%22C%22]Maxx “C”[/url]! I’ll draw a card for each special summon you perform!” “Fine. Crimsin hits the field. Then, Krus lets me bring back Grimro. I’ll tune my two Fabled monsters together to synchro summon back Fabled Valkyrus!” Max Field: Crimsin, Eradicator of Dark World (6/2500/1400) Fabled Valkyrus (8/2900/1700) “I’ll use Valkyrus’s effect to discard Ringiovanus to draw one card. Now, I’ll attack you directly with Crimsin followed by Valkyrus!” Colton stood his ground as the two fiends charged at him, lowering his life point counter to the red zone. [center]Colton 8000 -> 5500 -> 2600 (4/0/1)[/center] “That’s enough for now. I’ll set one card and enter the End Phase. Fabled Ringiovanus lets me return Fabled Evocatorus and Snoww back to my hand.” The screen returned to the commentator. “What a spectacular decimation by the ruthless defending champion! Can the aspiring contender come back or is this the end of the line?” [center]Turn 4[/center] [center]Colton: 2600 (5/0/1) || Max: 5500 (6/2/2)[/center] Colton Field: 1 Set Support Card Max Field: Crimsin, Eradicator of Dark World (6/2500/1400) Fabled Valkyrus (8/2900/1700) “I can definitely come back,” stated Colton, “I activate Xyz Reborn to bring back Constellar Pleiades. Xyz Reborn attaches itself to Pleiades as a xyz material. Then, I activate Heavy Storm to clear your backrow.” Max nodded in affirmation, letting his two set support cards be engulfed by a raging storm. “Next,” continued Colton, “I activate Constellar Formation!” [spoiler=Constellar Formation] Spell | Normal Activate only if you control a face-up “Constellar” monster. Add 1 “Constellar” card from your Deck to your hand, except “Constellar Formation”. You can Normal Summon an additional time this turn. You can only activate 1 “Constellar Formation” per turn.[/spoiler] “Formation adds [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Sheratan]Constellar Sheratan[/url] to my hand. I’ll summon him and use its effect to add [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Sombres]Constellar Sombres[/url] to my hand.” “Alright, I call my right to shuffle your deck,” announced Max. Colton ejected his deck from his duel disk’s compartment and handed it over to Max. Max smiled as he quickly cut the deck before returning it back to Colton. “I summon Constellar Sombres through the additional normal summon Constellar Formation granted me.” Colton Field: Constellar Pleiades (R4/X1/2500/1500) Constellar Sheratan (3/700/1900) Constellar Sombres (4/1550/1600) “Constellar Sombres banishes Constellar Pollux from my grave to return Kaust to my hand and normal summon it through its own effect! I’ll then use Kaust’s effect to increase its level and the level of Sombres by one. I’ll overlay the two and xyz summon [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Number_61:_Volcasaurus]Volcasaurus[/url]!” Max’s eyes widened in surprise as he realized what was about to happen. Colton raised his hand as he declared his next move. “I’ll detach a material from Volcasaurus to destroy Crimsin, Eradicator of Dark World and inflict twenty-five hundred points of damage to you!” [center]Max: 5500 -> 3000 (6/1/0)[/center] “Then, I’ll detach a material from Pleiades to bounce Fabled Valkyrus away. I then chaos xyz change my two monsters into [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Gaia_Dragon,_the_Thunder_Charger]Gaia Dragon, the Thunder Charger[/url] and [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Constellar_Ptolemys_Messier_7]Constellar Ptolemys Messier 7[/url], respectively!” Colton Field: Constellar Pleiades -> Constellar Ptolemys Messier 7 (R6/X1/2700/2000) Volcasaurus -> Gaia Dragon, the Thunder Charger (R7/X1/2600/2100) “Now,” concluded Colton, “Time to end this duel. Gaia Dragon, charge with thunder eruption!” [center]Max: 3000 -> 400 (6/0/0)[/center] “Finally, Constellar Ptolemys, finish him off with radiant burst!” “Wait,” interrupted Max, “I invoke the right to a once per duel deck check!” Colton’s expression changed into a look of bewilderment. “What? How is that relevant at this point in the duel?” “I think you cheated,” accused Max, “You drew that Heavy Storm right when you needed it! If it wasn’t for that, my set Torrential Tribute would’ve stopped you from pushing for game!” The audience gasped and murmured amongst itself. The commentator was puzzled and turned to the overseeing judge next to the dueling field. The judge nodded in confirmation of the request and raised a yellow flag indicating a time out. Colton walked up to the judge and ejected the contents of his duel disk, handing them to the judge for inspection. After a moment of going through the cards, the judge blew a whistle and raised a red flag. “There has indeed been a violation of rule five-point-two-dash-one. An excess of the legally allowed amount of the card Heavy Storm was found in the deck of contestant Colton Summers.” Colton raised his eyes in incredulous astonishment. “What? That’s not possible. You even performed a deck check before the duel commenced. I didn’t have any extra copies then.” “That is true,” agreed the judge, “But that does not mean that you didn’t somehow sneak it in during the duel.” “No, wait! I - there’s no way, I’d never -” “I knew it,” proclaimed Max as he walked up to the two, “I knew you cheated. There’s no way an inconsistent, bottom of tier two Constellar deck could ever make it this far. I’ll bet you’ve been cheating all this time.” “What? How could you possibly make such an outrageous claim? You have absolutely no proof -” The judge raised his hand, causing Colton to fall silent. “Although we have no previous records of any such allegations, current circumstances dictate that we must reconsider the legitimacy of your current record. As of now, this duel will be considered as an automatic loss for you. I must convene with the other head judges of this event to consider what course of action should be taken. You are dismissed.” [center]Duel End[/center] [center]Winner: Max Gregor![/center] The screen shifted back to the commentator as he tried to recompose himself and recapitulate the events that had just transpired to the audience. “Well, what an incredible turn of events. It seems that the rising star, Colton Summers has just been disqualified for cheating, meaning that the defending champion, Max Gregor, has once again won the regional tournament and earned the title as the supreme regional dueling champion for the third time in a row!” Colton fell to his knees. His vision started blurring while his head swirled in incomprehensible confusion. [i]“Colton, promise me… promise me that you’ll pursue your dream and change the world…”[/i][/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Moonflowyr Posted January 13, 2013 Report Share Posted January 13, 2013 You should still describe the characters. They just seem odd. Out-of-place. I get it for Custom Cards, but what you should do is make a seperate thread in RC/AoC with all the cards you'd be using, and put a link to that thread in the OP, with each individual card in a seperate spoiler. For customs anyway. And the links are just much neater overall. It isnt that hard to look at the wiki if you dont know what a card does. The only hook that could even be called a hook in there is the fact that our protaganist, which we know nothing about btw, says he didnt cheat, but somehow cheated. I have no reason to belive he didnt cheat and someone framed him, so I think he cheated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsianGuy1137 Posted January 13, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2013 I might consider going with your suggestion, but the main problem this isn't as polished, characterization-wise and layout wise is because it's quite a hassle, and I'm lazy. As for knowing nothing about the character, you can't expect everything to be laid out from the offset. I do plan on developing the character through dreams and flashbacks and dialogue and such as the fanfic progresses. The "hook" is a prelude to what happens next so it is setup for the plot to start flowing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Moonflowyr Posted January 13, 2013 Report Share Posted January 13, 2013 Then ydafuq are you here. I mostly meant appearance. All we know about this guy is his first name, that he likes unhealthy food, and video games. And his face got all f***ed up somehow. What does this kids hair look like? How tall his he? How old is this teenager exactly? Why did his face get messed up? Is he of a heavy or light build? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsianGuy1137 Posted January 13, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2013 Why? Because I like the card game of course. Enough so to make a fanfic involving it. That's not to say I can't still be lazy enough to overlook some of the more minor details such as characterization of appearance. How did his face get effed up? Well, that's a major point of the plot which will not be revealed just yet. It's actually coming up pretty quickly though, chapter 3 if all goes according to plan. I'll probably work in other minor details next chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iam Isthename Posted January 14, 2013 Report Share Posted January 14, 2013 It's not about you getting your ass lazy, it's about making your characters more detailed...I kinda liked your fanfic but try reading most of the novels out there and you'll find out that every main characters were introduced and were specifically detailed on its very first chapter. Why? Well, duh! It's like we are reading with our eyes alone and not with our imagination. Hmmm, my point is we are reading a story which suppose to bring your characters into life and live like they are real persons but how can we visualize them then if you couldn't even describe them properly? Just take our opinions as a mere opinions, okay? You're too lucky enough that someone's giving an opinion. It's a rare thing here in creative writing where other fanfics or novels got hardly no comments at all. Overall, the story is a good one but there's some problem here and there that needs to be polished or whatever you may want to call. For now, I still want something on this story that can give a grip for me to consider reading this again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsianGuy1137 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2013 Yes, the characters do need more descriptions, I'll get around to it eventually, but the main appeal to me is the overall plot and duels. The details of what a character looks like in the long run mean s*** as appearances rarely truly influence anything. For example, take video games where you could either create your character to look any number of ways or play with first person interfaces where appearance of your character literally means nothing. They rely on gameplay rather than just base appearances of the character themselves to bring the game to life, although being able to visualize what you look like might help. I understand how creating an environment through descriptions can be significant in many ways, but that's quite different from just describing how x has y features and does z. As for getting comments, yes I know, I've written many fanfics that have received no comments on here. I haven't properly conveyed any gratitude, which is my fault. I truly do appreciate the time people take to give me feedback, even if I don't always agree with all of it. I'll try to improve on everything you two have pointed out so far. Thanks for reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsianGuy1137 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2013 Welp, for anyone that's still interested (which would be wonderful and much appreciated) I have finished writing the second chapter. [spoiler=Chapter II] - Dream - A frail boy sat huddled up in the corner of an alleyway. His head was buried between the embrace of his arms, but no matter how tightly he tried to hide himself from his surroundings, his arms were too thin and his face was too noticeable to escape the notice of those around him. Through the gaps of the shield the boy’s arms formed, glimpses of scarred and malformed features of the boy’s face were visible, each hinting at the grotesque abomination that lay hidden beneath the arms. “You’re a freak,” shouted a bigger boy as he picked up a rock, “And freaks like you need to be punished for your actions!” In one swift motion, the bigger boy threw the rock at the frail boy in the corner. The force of the impact left a dark bruise on the frail boy’s head, but he showed no reaction and sat passively, trying to hide from the world. The bigger boy picked up another rock, but before he could raise his arm, a hand was placed on the boy’s shoulder, causing him to pause and look around. The boy saw a girl with flowing vermillion hair and a pale complexion highlighted by her rosy cheeks and her brilliant blue eyes. The boy slowly regressed back into passive idleness. “Tell me what happened.” The boy turned to the figure crouched up in the corner. “This filth was trying to steal my cards!” “Did he steal anything?” “No, but he touched them with his filthy hands, and now they’re ruined!” The girl quickly searched through her satchel and took out a small, thin card. “Will one hundred credits be enough to replace them?” The boy’s head turned slightly in surprise. His eyes shifted back between the girl’s own eyes and the card, barely able to comprehend the implications of her action. After a moment of silent consideration, the boy took the card. “Yeah, I guess this’ll cover it, but you’d better make sure that freak stays in line. Next time he does that, I’ll bash his head in!” “I’ll make sure he never comes near you again. I’m very sorry for what he did.” The boy walked off, followed by the other spectators in the area. The girl walked up to the frail boy in the corner and sat down next to him. She placed a hand on the boy’s head as she examined his bruise. “If you keep on getting bruised like this, the headmistress won’t let you go out anymore.” “I don’t care.” “You weren’t really trying to steal his cards, were you?” The boy shook his head. “I was watching them duel, but one of them accidentally dropped his cards when he was shuffling. I tried to help pick them up, but then… then he slapped the cards out of my hand and pushed me into the ground…” “Colton, I’m sorry about what happened, but we’ve been over this. The world isn’t always a fair place, and sometimes you have to stay away from people like them, people that can hurt you and get away with it.” “Alyssa, why did you come here?” “To look after you. It’s almost time for supper, and the headmistress expects sector officials to arrive, possibly for an evaluation of the house. It won’t reflect well on her if you’re missing.” “I’ve seen how she looks at me. She doesn’t care about me at all. She’d probably be happy if I ran away and never went back. I’ll be one less mouth to feed and waste money on.” “She might be, but I wouldn’t. Why did you come out here?” Colton nodded. “I’ve been watching them. They’re workers at the industrial site, probably orphans of the Outbreak like most of the kids back at the house but without the money needed to be signed into the Program like us.” “But why watch them?” “Everyday I see them walk into the industrial site looking. They have a look on their face, like they hated everything, but when they walk out and get together to duel - that’s when their faces change. I know it’s just a game, but when they play, they look so different, like everything they’ve been through was only a dream, and they were waking up, living a different life, a life that they were creating for themselves, one duel at a time.” “You think dueling can change the way things are?” “I don’t know, but seeing people duel, it just - it gives me hope.” A smile formed on Alyssa’s face. “Alright, it’s decided then. I’m going to teach you how to duel...” - Present - The vestiges of consciousness slowly crept back into Colton’s being as he regained his bearings and woke up. Looking around, Colton realized that he was lying on a makeshift bed in an mostly empty room. His duel disk and deck case lay on a nearby counter. Colton sat up and picked up his belongings. The lights immediately turned on. A man wearing a lab coat walked in. “Ah good, you’re awake. I thought I heard some rustling in here.” “Where am I?” “An abandoned subsection of the stadium used for storage of sports equipment back when sports were the big thing. This card game you kids play has become surprisingly popular in the last two decades.” “What happened?” “You seemed to have fainted right after you were disqualified from the regional tournament. They called in an EMSA squad, but we decided that you were just disorientated and tired, likely from bad eating and sleeping patterns.” “Uh, right. I remember them saying something about deciding what to do with my record.” “I don’t know anything about that, but they told me that they would be in the front office if you needed to go see them. You seem healthy enough so you can leave whenever you’d like to.” “Right, thanks for looking after me.” “Yes, also, you might want to get something done about, well, your condition. I could recommend a few surgeons if you’re interested.” “That won’t be necessary,” responded Colton before abruptly getting up and leaving. - The Office - Colton pushed open the glass door and entered the room, causing everyone in the room to turn their attention to him. The head judge that oversaw the final duel of the tournament gestured for Colton to take a seat. Colton complied and waited for the judge to say something. “You must be wondering about our decision regarding what should be done to your record.” Colton felt a mixture of anxiety and frustration but decided to hold his emotions back in an attempt to seem composed. “Yes, I am.” “You must understand, Mr. Summers, that your poor decision at the tournament was a major offense against the system. It cannot be tolerated.” “Yes, I understand. If there was any way to amend for my actions, I would do whatever it takes to do so.” “Cheating of such caliber must be punished. You will be made an example of what happens when such major offenses are committed. It has been decided that in consideration of your recent actions, your current record cannot be maintained in good faith and must be invalidated and cleansed. You will be banned from participating in any official tournaments and any sponsors you might have gained will be stripped from you indefinitely. You may plead your case to revoke the ban in five years, should you so desire. For now, that is all.” Colton suppressed his urge to walk up to the head judge and clobber him in the face as grief compounded by fierce contempt burned through Colton’s entire being. “I think you should leave,” stated the head judge as he took notice of Colton’s condition, gesturing towards the security guards stationed on the sides of the entrance. The guards held Colton’s sides as they escorted him out of the building. Colton was helpless to protest as he walked in the company of the guards, seething in rage. They arrived at the entrance to the stadium, where the guards left Colton and went away. Colton merely stood in place, too conflicted by his emotions to do anything. “You look pretty angry.” Colton recognized the voice and turned his attention to its source. Leaning on the side of entrance passage stood Max Gregor, the contestant Colton faced and lost to in the final duel of the tournament. “You…” “Don’t take it personally. You played pretty well and all, but I couldn’t let you win the tournament and break my current streak. They’ll call me a prodigy among duelists, breaking records and revolutionizing the game into new and never before explored bounds.” “Why? Why did you wait till I declared an attack before calling for a deck check? It doesn’t make sense. Nothing you did made any sense.” “Ah yes, they always thought you were a promising duelist. They said you had the potential to become a real contender, if you ever made it into the Pro League. I never could understand why you liked to use those trashy Constellar junk cards. As the saying goes, the duelist’s cards reflect his soul. I guess the saying held true for you.” “What’re you talking about?” “You still don’t get it, do you? I still don’t see why they thought so highly of you. Not only do you use trash cards, you’re as clueless as they come. Why do you duel?” “I have my reasons.” “Personal ambitions for getting into the Pro League, no doubt. We all know how every single worthless street urchin in the world dreams of becoming a pro. The fame, the glory, the money, the power… It can be quite a handful for most people to have without losing themselves, and it certainly isn’t a title that should be given out to those who don’t deserve it to be misused. There are some people who would consider it a duty to make sure something like that never happens.” “I don’t understand.” “Of course not. You’re just a worthless street urchin driven by his own selfish, base desires. I, however, am one of the few entrusted with the honor of upholding the sacred duty - the duty to protect the integrity of the game and its secrets. You have no place in our system, and you needed to be purged.” Max grinned as he walked up to Colton. “Didn’t you wonder where your extra copies of Heavy Storm came from?” Colton stood still in apprehension. Max bent forward and whispered in Colton’s ear. “Remember when I shuffled your deck? It must’ve seemed like a strange request with how thorough the automated shuffling systems are now. Still, it’s an old rule they kept to ensure that players still had the chance should they distrust the function. It wasn’t to make sure your deck was truly shuffled. It was to place those extra copies of the card there, to get you disqualified at the first chance I got.” Colton thought back to the occurrence, recalling the details of the event. He remembered a smile on Max’s face as the deck was shuffled. “You…” Before Max could react, Colton lunged at him, pinning him to the ground. The rage that had been steadily building up inside him broke out, unleashed upon the unsuspecting target in devastating blow upon blow. Nearby security staff noticed the incident and rushed to the scene to intervene. After a long struggle, Colton was finally separated. When Colton’s grip was released, Max fell to the ground with his face reduced to a bloody pulp. “You bastard!” screamed out Max with a shaking slur, “I’ll have you rot in a cell for the remainder of your worthless, miserable life! You’ll never duel ever again!” Colton didn’t struggle as security cuffed him and pinned him against the ground. His vision started blurring again as his surroundings faded away. - Detention Center - Colton lay in a bed attached to the back wall of a detention cell. He had been lying on the bed as he stared at the ceiling for countless hours, never moving or flinching. No matter how much time had passed, nothing changed. The passing of time seemed like - WAS - an illusion. A constant illusion that would never end. “Looks like you made well on your promise,” said Colton aloud to himself, “I’ll rot away in the cell, never dueling again.” After a long, unbroken silence, Colton finally closed his eyes. “I’m sorry Alyssa. I couldn’t keep my promise.” A loud thud resounded through the area. Colton immediately sat up and walked to the front of his cell. The familiar sound of footsteps broke through the surrounding silence, slowly growing louder and louder. Then, the footsteps ceased. Colton pushed himself against the door of the cell and peered through the small opening in an attempt to make out what was on the other side. Through the opening stood a cloaked man. “You are Colton Summers?” Colton hesitated to answer. “Don’t worry, this isn’t some kind of trick. If sector security wanted to do something to you, it would’ve already happened. In fact, it just so happens that I stopped by, looking for you just before something was about to happen to you. You put quite a few scratches on the face of that piece of crap of an excuse for a duelist. He wasn’t too happy about that and bribed the guards quite a handsome fee to make you ‘disappear’ so to speak. Luckily, I intervened on your behalf and bribed them an even bigger fee to make sure of it.” “What?” “Oh, hmm, I could see how that would cause confusion for someone in your situation, locked away from the happenings of the world. Right, well, what I meant by that was that I made sure the guards won’t be bothering you any longer. In fact, I have the key to your release right here.” The figure held up a key to the opening and shook it as if the act verified its existence. “Are you - do you mean you’re going to release me?” “Hmm, well, that stands to be seen. Tell me, do you consider yourself a good duelist?” “What kind of convoluted line of reasoning is that? You come here, giving me hope for being released, and then you completely get off the subject. How could you possibly expect me to answer that in this state?” “Hmm, yes, I suppose you’re right. Even if you did claim to be a great duelist, and even if you have the results to back it up, how can I know for sure? I mean, you were accused of cheating after all. I should’ve thought this out more…” “Accused of cheating?” “Yes, why do you ask? You were right there - oh! Now I understand. Right, you don’t understand what I’m saying. Let me be more specific. I know for a fact that you didn’t cheat. Anyone with half a brain should be able to deduce that. None of the facts add up to suggest that you did in any way.” Colton didn’t expect such a response. “How do you know that?” “A duelist of his caliber, as low as it might have been, still wouldn’t make bad moves for no reason. He’s won several tournaments before in the past as have you. Naturally, when you stepped up to challenge his metaphorical throne, you upset the natural order and attracted his attention. He must’ve researched you, your cards, your playstyle, your strengths and weaknesses, and all such encompassing details. Although theoretically speaking, a top tier deck like his should’ve been able to easily overcome yours, there was one glaringly obvious detail he couldn’t overlook - your opening hand, which naturally plays a crucial factor in determining the outcome of the duel. I personally am somewhat surprised after I did my research on you.” “Does your rant have a point or did security send you here to babble me to death?” “Let’s not be hasty here. Patience is a virtue. Now, where was I… Ah, yes. As I was saying, your opening hand - it has a statistically significant deviation from a normal distribution of opening hands for your deck, with all card choices and automated shuffling patterns considered. I’ve studied the duel disk’s programming extensively, specifically the shuffling algorithms used in an attempt to randomize the standard distribution of opening hands. With the given number of arrangements that can be generated, the total number of possibilities amounts to three trillion seven hundred eighty-nine million nine hundred twenty-two thousand sixty-five, if my calculations are correct, which they always are so rest assured.” “What kind of bull is this?” “There is no ‘bull’ in pure mathematics, unless you were referring to the common controversy over the fundamental soundness of number theory principles applied to real world simulations. It’s caused quite a hassle to the scientific community at large ever since Riemann proposed that dubious hypothesis. Funny how easily our perceptions of the world can be shattered by a few numbers and squiggly symbols. Oh, but I’m getting off track… Oh yes, as I was saying, your opening hands have been statistically significant in their deviation from the predicted normal distribution, over five entire deviation ranges in fact. Of course, some would argue that there is no such thing as true probability as there can only be one output for each input and differences in outcomes are due to infinitesimal aberrations in initial conditions, but such a line of thinking is impossible to apply in any practical convention.” “Uh…” “To summarize, you’re an extremely lucky person. Almost impossibly so. I’m sure Max Gregor would’ve taken that into account when he faced you. Didn’t you find it strange when he set Dragged Down Into the Grave when the card itself retains its maximum value, as I’ve measured through statistical analysis of the outcomes of thousands of duels, when it’s played during the first one to two turns? Such hand disruption at the beginning would’ve had a great toll on you, from a theoretical standpoint of course, but your opening hand consisted of almost perfect complements that allowed you to push for control of the game or at least a good chance of recovering should you overextend into a suboptimal state.” “For all we know, it was because he didn’t have any cards worth discarding.” “Then you don’t know his deck well enough. With his opening hand, there were seven viable setups he could’ve performed, but instead of rushing to setup his field, he decided to play a more reactive game by maintaining most of his value cards in hand. No, using a positional scoring analysis, his move was suboptimal, but it was the right one for his intended strategy.” “The right one?” “He had planned on you using a searcher, in your case a Sheratan or Constellar Formation, so that he could call the right to shuffle your deck and then activate his Dragged Down when you had drawn a staple card, which in your case happened to be Heavy Storm, to reveal to the public. Then, he could leisurely sit back and Mind Crush you all day long. Quite a good strategy, I must admit myself, as the deck he was running could viably manifest some form of use through Mind Crush as a discard outlet. It brilliantly conceals his main purpose.” “How - how could you have possibly figured that out?” “The same way you did, no doubt. I have at least half a brain and likely more than enough to suffice, if I do say so myself.” “Wait, let me get this straight. You’re telling me that he based his ENTIRE strategy on cheating me out?” “Of course not. That’s the strategy someone else clearly conceived for him to use, but he himself lacks the prerequisite intellect to devise and properly implement such a plan. He’s really a horrid duelist for misusing such good cards. Ah, what has the state of the game come to? But I digress. Does this make sense to you now?” “Not at all. Why are you here? It can’t be just to blabber on endlessly.” “Of course not. The subjects I blabber about are far above your level of comprehension. Please don’t take that as an insult. It’s merely an observation. No, my purpose here is to offer you a renewed purpose, should you so desire and prove yourself worthwhile. So tell me, why do you duel?” “Why do I duel…” Colton briefly reminisced on everything that had happened to him, every event and experience that had converged and created him as the person he was at the very moment. “Because, I made a promise, a promise I can’t break, will never break, and will keep on trying to uphold as long as I breathe.” “Well that drastically simplifies the situation. Now, the way I see it, you have two options. You can stay here indefinitely, or at least until they decide to do whatever they want to you, or you could make good use of your dueling skills by coming with me and joining my crew.” “Your crew?” “That’s right. I’m part of an underground dueling crew. Notorious to some, still notorious but useful to others. We could use someone with your skills. It wouldn’t be much different from what you do now, except the duels take place under a context of questionable legality. Pay’s not bad, and life expectancy isn’t much shorter than your usual occupations. Plus, there is still a chance that we can get you to the pro league. “I guess I have nowhere else to go. I’ll come with you.” “Great!” The sound of twisting bolts resonated through the cell. Then, the door slowly opened. The figure took down his cloak, revealing himself to be a young, blonde-haired teenager, not much older than Colton himself. His face was creaseless, trouble free - distinctly contrasting to Colton’s own - and possessed a gleaming smile and gentle eyes that seemed to consist of a bright but simple cheerfulness that completely distorted the events that had just transpired. “Welcome aboard, Mr. Summers. I’m Kyle Wording. Me and the rest of the crew will be glad to have you. Now, if you’ll please follow me, we should be out of here shortly.” Colton couldn’t believe what was happening to him. Everything seemed so surreal yet so vividly impressionable, as if he was finally waking up from a dream into a reality that he could mold to whatever future he desired.[/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Premier Alexander Romanov Posted January 16, 2013 Report Share Posted January 16, 2013 It seems like a solid story, but why isn't Volcasaurus a Number? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsianGuy1137 Posted January 16, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2013 [quote name='TheFinalFan' timestamp='1358325625' post='6122580'] It seems like a solid story, but why isn't Volcasaurus a Number? [/quote] Thanks! Numbers only exist in the context of the anime so I decided to change it into a regular Xyz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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