~YCM's Dating Club~ (Join, because we're cool ;D)

[Spirit of DMG]

................why........why do the rest of you guys have to have such great Valentine's Days...? [/excuse me just a little depressed]

 

As for me, I guess I should go into detail. See, what started as an ordinary, happy conversation about Valentine's Day escalated into my girlfriend admitting to me that she's been dating another guy who she likes, a lot. She still loves me, but she also loves this other guy, and is confused because she doesn't want to break either of our hearts. I told her I just wanted her to be happy, but then she sorta yelled at me that she wanted me to be happy, said that she didn't deserve anything, that she's worth nothing, and asked me why I would ever love a..."hopelessly romantic depressed suicidal whore/cunt". She's been through...a hell lot of problems, too. Raped twice, and the only loyal boyfriend she ever had (and loved with all her heart) got hit by a car - once upon a time, they had planned to run away together. She told me that all she ever does is hurt me and everyone else around her, and that she wants me to love someone worth my time...

 

I don't know. I just don't.want to give up on her. I won't ever give up on her, because I know this sounds cliche but I do love her. I can't put it into words, but I just do. Yet I...I don't know. I'm not sure why I'm even telling you guys this, because I'll probably just smash my laptop if someone even subtlety suggests I leave her - which I won't ever.

 

I've been very patient for the past eight months, and I'm more than prepared to wait five years. Ten years. I'm just worried... about her. I don't know what I want to know. I'm scared that she might choose another guy over me, TERRIFIED that she might just go ahead and commit suicide. I thought she'd cheered up over the past year, but it turned out that she'd only been pretending....I should've been expecting this, really. But I'm not giving up.

 

Again, I don't know why I'm telling you guys this...I guess I just feel like getting support is all.

...

*crosses arms and looks at the floor to my left, teary-eyed, biting lips.*

I... I understand, Mercy... I get it... [/whisper]

As far as what to do... I really don't know. I still don't know... just... just be there. That's all you can do. Just make sure she knows that if she needs you... if she needs anyone... that you're there, and willing to lend a shoulder.

[Tourmaline]

Well is it not true? Or can you say you can truly love 2 people, in the 'lover' way?

At the very least, not morally, at most, not emotionally.

Would you like to tell me how you certainly know this? Otherwise, you've no reliable information to refer to.

[DL]

Would you like to tell me how you certainly know this? Otherwise, you've no reliable information to refer to.

It's just common sense.

 

It's either not possible, or not moral, to love two people

 

At least that's how I see it, and it honestly makes a lot of sense >_>

[Tourmaline]

It's just common sense.

It's either not possible, or not moral, to love two people

At least that's how I see it, and it honestly makes a lot of sense >_>

Common sense is learned wholly on bias.

What is moral is subjective.

And you're practically telling me it's subjective.

You tried to discredit the entirety of polygamous relationships where there are actual societies who live such lives happy and unwavering due to never learning the strictness of morals in the western world. Or so a sociologist stated.

[DL]

Common sense is learned wholly on bias.

What is moral is subjective.

And you're practically telling me it's subjective.

You tried to discredit the entirety of polygamous relationships where there are actual societies who live such lives happy and unwavering due to never learning the strictness of morals in the western world. Or so a sociologist stated.

No, I'm simply stating that's my view of things.

 

If they want to be polygamous they can.

 

In fact, I have dated multiple people in the past.

 

But to date/marry and to love are two different things.

[Tourmaline]

Says you? Just because you think it's that way doesn't mean people can't successfully live opposite lifestyles. Somebody can love multiple people while going out with them. Some do it maliciously, but that's not what is being assumed.

[DL]

"Says you?"

No

 

Again, it's only my point of view

 

That it isn't moral to love more than 2 people.

 

Like, yeah, sure. ...love...uh...no, you should work on that.

 

Again, opinion.

[Agro]

Marriage and love can exist at the same time, but they certainly don't constitute the other.

[DL]

Marriage and love can exist at the same time, but they certainly don't constitute the other.

Exactly

 

if the presence of one was needed for the other to exist, then there wouldn't be this many divorces.

[Tourmaline]

You don't seem to be understanding the point I was making, which was that the quantity of relationships one is in has no definite bearing on the validity of the love shared by those people

[DL]

I understand that.

 

But I personally believe that if you truly LOVE someone, then it's THAT someone, and no one else.

 

 

It's all moral-based however, and truly depends on the person in question.

[Aerion Brightflame]

Trying to define what Love is isn't something we can do. It's different to everyone, and hence whilst some people may only love person there entire life, others may love multiple people at once.

 

We can't say our view of love is any better than anyone elses, only that it is different. Since doing anything else is claiming you know better than the rest of mankind.

 

And as for Multiple Marriages? I say that if love is shared between all the people, then it is in there right to be married.

 

Also sorry if I'm missing the point of the conversation, that's just my opinion on the stuff I saw being talked about.

[Kōsuke Ueki]

Well, my Winter Recess is starting after I'm done with school today, and that means I WON'T be able to confront you-know-who for the whole time. Granted, I'll be going to New Hampshire, so I can relax and get away from everybody. But I gotta prepare when I get back, so that I know how to go about this.

 

Plus, she's still clueless about me lying to her. I may have found this other guy, but that's doesn't mean I have solved the case. I just know that he's there. Finding out who he is will probably be about as hard as confronting her, if not easier.

 

BTW Rapid, from what you said previously, I can talk A LOT in 2 minutes, as long as I got the strength to do it.

[Gabriel Maeso]

So... just giving out a fact before I open up on an annoying rant again. I house different personas besides who I am. Obvioulsy there are different thoughts, oppinions and patterns os speach and behavior. It never came to be a problem before, and I still think it isn't, but me and my girl are facing some problems for a while already, they are unralated to the previous I open out here but... I dunno if it's because I am on a very sensitive time of the year for me, since somehting that happened not to long was what made me brake harshly from that and things I stocked up. Well I'm going out of topic, anyway, there is a part of me that thinks that the problem that's the root for the others is not soemthing neither of us can work into, and that we should just shush and get going with the wind, another part of me thinks that the problem is actualy that we don't go foward towards it and do somethign about it.

But I know that if I try to bash into any problem, into anything actualy, that will make her sad and then I will make her cry, even if I say that I will protect her and that nothing bad would happen. I know she trusts my words, but sometimes I don't think she realizes, or if she does, if she believes their meanings, and sometimes I think that she believes I am way different than what I am most of the time. For an example, I am an "out" kind of person sometimes, like if you get a knight form olds and placed him in our time, I've been always like this, but I don't think she ever really saw it, so when she does, she acts disapointed at first, then says that it's nothing.

well... that was all for now, I know I don't post here often or anything(that's also an example of me being "out"), but well, this seemed the place to say all of this and not be judged or anything of the sort.

[Spirit of DMG]

DL: Polygamy and Poly-Am both work on the basis of loving more than one person. Although, where Poly-Am states that everyone involved in the cacophony of relationships is, well, involved in it, Polygamy is... John Tucker, basically.

 

Gabe: Ummm...  well... you have a very complicated way of stating things. From what I just read, you have multiple personalities, but that has nothing to do with your problem.

You basically follow the rules of conduct of medieval knights, but your not sure if that has anything to do with your problem.

In fact, you're not even sure what the problem is.

 

Am I close?

[Gabriel Maeso]

Gabe: Ummm...  well... you have a very complicated way of stating things. From what I just read, you have multiple personalities, but that has nothing to do with your problem.

You basically follow the rules of conduct of medieval knights, but your not sure if that has anything to do with your problem.

In fact, you're not even sure what the problem is.

 

Am I close?

 

I suposse that you are... I do think that I may be the cause of most of it, but also there are thigns that I dunno if she knows exactly the meaning off, so I can't state it cause it most likely will make her cry and last time that happened I am sure that I was closer to loosing her than "a" and "b", so...I am not sure of what's the problem, but there is one and that I'm sure of.

[Spirit of DMG]

hmmm.... This presents a challenge, then.

Ehhh.... I got nothin for ya, sorry. All I can say is that you should try and get her to tell you what's going on. Though it sounds like she won't talk...

Try talking to her friends, maybe? Generally people will tell their friends about things when they won't tell anyone else.

[Kōsuke Ueki]

Or, they'll keep it all to themselves and not tell their friends a thing. Just saying.

 

And Gabe, are you a schizo, or have MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) by any chance? If either one is the case, then maybe you should look into a therapist who specializes in responding to how your condition works. And maybe s/he could help you. Just a penny for your thoughts.

[Gabriel Maeso]

hmmm.... This presents a challenge, then.

Ehhh.... I got nothin for ya, sorry. All I can say is that you should try and get her to tell you what's going on. Though it sounds like she won't talk...

Try talking to her friends, maybe? Generally people will tell their friends about things when they won't tell anyone else.

 

Actualy, she doesn't talk about that with most of her friends, actualy, before we started dating, I was the friend she told about those things(just FYI, no I didn't took advantage of her when she was vulnarable, when we started dating, I was the one vulnarable and I was the one who asked if she would date me.), and now she sometimes talks to this friend of hers that I don't know well and he never seemed very good to me in the first place, just a hunch, and honestly, I am REALLY jealous at him, because he always sounds like a better version of me and can hold up an interesting conversation, but that's now why I have that hunch, even before I started getting jealousy out of him I had an ominious feeling about him.

 

Or, they'll keep it all to themselves and not tell their friends a thing. Just saying.

 

And Gabe, are you a schizo, or have MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) by any chance? If either one is the case, then maybe you should look into a therapist who specializes in responding to how your condition works. And maybe s/he could help you. Just a penny for your thoughts.

 

I'm not a Schizo, and it's not exactly a MPD, but that wudl eb the best way to describe it, but that isn't an issue for me at any rate, so untill I trully snap for good, I will stay as I am now. I am happy with who I am anyway, just not happy that the problems are happening.

[Merci]

There's no such thing as MPD. It's called DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).

 

I have it too, but on a much minor scale. It doesn't affect my life at all, but it does help me improve as an individual, maybe...how do I explain it? When I look into a mirror, my reflection talks back in a very different attitude than my own. Every time I say something, my body instinctively turns away, and then turns back - sometimes forcibly - for that mirror guy to reply. I don't have any control of what he says, but he's pretty mean and narcissistic, giving bad advice. I asked him the same thing I asked you guys about my girlfriend yesterday, and he told me I should just leave her. Instead, I slammed my fist into the school mirror, but he only laughed at that.

 

I know that mirror guy isn't really me because I can't control whatever he says (hell, he even uses a different tone), but he's similar to me in some ways.

 

Regardless, mirror guy is unimportant. He doesn't affect my life at all.

[Spirit of DMG]

... Okay, I have to say it. It needs to be said.

Mercy, that sounds so much like what you see in movies and cartoons when a character needs a motivational speech or something, and the only thing around to give it to them is a mirror. Seriously, that's exactly what it sounds like.

 

Then, I'm here. It seems interesting, doesn't it?

[Merci]

Huh. I never thought of it that way. I guess you're right. Only problem is that his 'motivational' speeches tend to demoralize me instead.

[Mugendramon]

So you ask questions to a mirror then turn away from it then look back to it for terrible advice? That doesn't sound much like a deal at all.

 

Why don't you just stop doing it? Or does it amuse you to converse with your body-snatching mirror self?

[Merci]

I have no control over it. Maybe unconsciously I do, but it's not a conscious move by my body. Plus, I do just walk away and leave the mirror whenever I've had enough of him. It's impossible to look into a mirror without him popping out. Oh and it [i]isn't[/i] that big of a deal, you're right, but I just thought I should mention it since Gabriel has some sort of identity disorder of his own.

[Spirit of DMG]

Don't we all have identity issues here? It seems like every other person you meet here has some form of an alternate. Though, it sounds as though yours is the least extreme. Least helpful as well, and not for only a single reason.