~YCM's Dating Club~ (Join, because we're cool ;D)

[Rapidfire]

Trust is not one issue. It leads to a lot of other things. All we were saying is that if you always doubt others with trust, then how will you get to see them for their true colors? Everyone gives off some kind of charisma, but a lot of times once you see their true personality it's totally different. And look I you yourself called me joyful, just proves that you judged me by my cover and abstract. People are made up of more then first impressions, and what's so wrong about trusting others? Yes bad things happen, but I'd rather experience them the hide behind that brick wall forever. Everyone gets their share of s***, and personally I get that you have Aspherger's but that really is no excuse. I'd expect you to give it your best shot, because if you keep fearing that you'll never grow. All it takes is hope, determination, and most of all you have to believe in yourself. Life can sometimes give you a disadvantage but getting over that makes you stronger, and trust me push away the fear, and you'll be better off. When I tell you this it's because I know how you feel. Yes it's scary, but if you push away the fear it won't hurt as much when it happens.

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='Rapidfire' timestamp='1358311838' post='6122448']
Trust is not one issue. It leads to a lot of other things. All we were saying is that if you always doubt others with trust, then how will you get to see them for their true colors? Everyone gives off some kind of charisma, but a lot of times once you see their true personality it's totally different. And look I you yourself called me joyful, just proves that you judged me by my cover and abstract. People are made up of more then first impressions, and what's so wrong about trusting others? Yes bad things happen, but I'd rather experience them the hide behind that brick wall forever. Everyone gets their share of s***, and personally I get that you have Aspherger's but that really is no excuse. I'd expect you to give it your best shot, because if you keep fearing that you'll never grow. All it takes is hope, determination, and most of all you have to believe in yourself. Life can sometimes give you a disadvantage but getting over that makes you stronger, and trust me push away the fear, and you'll be better off. When I tell you this it's because I know how you feel. Yes it's scary, but if you push away the fear it won't hurt as much when it happens.
[/quote]

Man that sums up what I would say collectively with out sounding like an a******, lol
good job

[Nathanael D. Striker]

[quote name='Rapidfire' timestamp='1358311838' post='6122448']
Trust is not one issue. It leads to a lot of other things. All we were saying is that if you always doubt others with trust, then how will you get to see them for their true colors? Everyone gives off some kind of charisma, but a lot of times once you see their true personality it's totally different. And look I you yourself called me joyful, just proves that you judged me by my cover and abstract. People are made up of more then first impressions, and what's so wrong about trusting others? Yes bad things happen, but I'd rather experience them the hide behind that brick wall forever. Everyone gets their share of s***, and personally I get that you have Asperger's but that really is no excuse. I'd expect you to give it your best shot, because if you keep fearing that you'll never grow. All it takes is hope, determination, and most of all you have to believe in yourself. Life can sometimes give you a disadvantage but getting over that makes you stronger, and trust me push away the fear, and you'll be better off. When I tell you this it's because I know how you feel. Yes it's scary, but if you push away the fear it won't hurt as much when it happens.
[/quote]

If you are implying that I'm using my Asperger's as an excuse, you are wrong. I only mentioned that so you guys have some context. And maybe if people gave me a reason to trust, I would. Cause I used to trust people easily, and that turned out horribly. Never again will I be treated as a gullible idiot, never again. And if you think I'm sulking around every day and night, you are dead wrong. While I may suck in the relationship and trust department, I have done other things that people like me only dream of doing. So, before you make your judgments about how I wallow in pity, think about what I said.[/inevitableblowup]

[Rapidfire]

What can I say, I try!

[WTFauKorean]

dude you're making it like, that if you've been played its your fault
if you've been played it's not something you can control, happens to a lot of people
I've been f***ed over numerous times, you just have to stop blaming yourself

[Nathanael D. Striker]

[quote name='Rapidfire' timestamp='1358312464' post='6122462']
What can I say, I try!
[/quote]

Sorry about that. To be fair, I trust you guys more than I trust some of my friends. Mainly since I don't have to worry much about instant judgment. That and things don't spread like wildfire.

*sighs*

I should have kept my mouth shut about Winter Formal.

[WTFauKorean]

[quote name='Striker' timestamp='1358312598' post='6122464']
I should have kept my mouth shut about Winter Formal.
[/quote]

it's better to just listen to the frank s***, no request for opinion is a bad request.

[Rapidfire]

Striker, I was about to post a really long paragraph. But then I decided I would pm you it, because well I have something called pride.

[Mugendramon]

I was about to point out something about your comment being too short, but I'll say it anyway because I have something called patience. Which is very lacking these days.

And, Striker. You came looking for advice. You were actually given said advice. But can you really blame us, for not telling you exactly what you wanted to hear?

[Mr.WHAM]

[quote name='Striker' timestamp='1358312425' post='6122461']
If you are implying that I'm using my Asperger's as an excuse, you are wrong. I only mentioned that so you guys have some context. And maybe if people gave me a reason to trust, I would. Cause I used to trust people easily, and that turned out horribly. Never again will I be treated as a gullible idiot, never again. And if you think I'm sulking around every day and night, you are dead wrong. While I may suck in the relationship and trust department, I have done other things that people like me only dream of doing. So, before you make your judgments about how I wallow in pity, think about what I said.[/inevitableblowup]
[/quote]

Sigh......
Don't waste your own time Striker.
As far as trusting people goes, and this is a statement I am making towards EVERYONE:
[b]No one in this world owes you any outright reason to trust them. You give them your trust and hope that they return your action in kind. If you don't want to trust someone, then don't trust them but do not blame the world.[/b]

As far as you getting rejected I'll put it to to you like this: If you can take out your favorite/best deck in Yugioh and lose in a match and come out okay, then you can cope with someone saying no. As far as your friends influence on your opinion goes, you need to expect them o be friends and be able to take their judgments either intelligently or not at all. These are the people who will take up the majority of your time.

Now as far as asking this person out, if you really want it you will be the scalpel that causes it to happen.
This is a very basic and intelligent in my opinion way to ask her out. Don't put too much pressure on these simple words for they are only a means to possibly open a door or find a new path. Walk up to this girl at either a lunch time or after classes as she's transferring to her activities. Look her CONFIDENTLY -not oppressively, awkwardly shyly, menacingly no, confidently & amicably in her eyes and bring up the topic of the Winter Formal. Then listen to what she says. Continue to make conversation with her and then when you feel relaxed enough, take a little focus and smoothly say, "Hey (Her'name), I was wondering if you would mind going to the Winter Formal with me?" You don't even have to say it like that but you get the point ask her out casually, no with a tone of seriousness like you might address a teacher but a tone you would take with someone who you've known for a while and isn't close family.

Finally, about people judging you. Let them have their opinion or say that until they are recognized to do so by the government it's not their job to judge you.

[Merci]

Trust. You can't trust anybody.

However, you did the right thing posting about your life. It's better to get feedback from the saner people than to continue wallowing in one's own life without realizing the good things and the bad. It's not good to seclude your thoughts from everyone else - eventually, it'll eat you from the inside and out.

[Aa'une]

If we're posting about life problems and need to talk about our lives... Well I'm stressed about a lot. My parents are always on my back about my grades, I don't really spend time with friends cause of it, I struggle mentally. I feel like I have depression. My girlfriend does have depression. I just feel like everything is weighing me down and stressing me out... And I have a really hard time socializing. I always have.

[Spirit of DMG]

Patience... I'm pretty sure I've heard of that...
Anyway, Une... I spend more time here than I do with my friends. Mainly because most of my "friends" get annoying after only a short time.
I might be developing a case of depression, the people I live with are annoying 75% of the time. My life sucks, and my job is highly stressful. About the only good things I have are some instances of beautiful scenery and access to [i]Dark Souls[/i]
And, yes, Mugen. I've already told you, I can blame you for not telling me what I wanna hear. I can blame you for anything.
Une, really don't know what to tell you. I never had to worry about grades, and it sounds like that's the main reason you have trouble in all those other areas.

[Steel Crimson]

[quote name='Hayate Ayasaki~' timestamp='1355586662' post='6093810']
[/quote]
I forgot to ask if you had seen my application, I just didn't see my name was wondering what happened to it, I can always post it again if you'd like

Edit:

Striker, you have Aspergers too? I have Aspergers and it greatly effects my relationship with my girlfriend on some occasions, especially when I can't help saying EVERYTHING in my head

[Merci]

All you depressing guys are depressing my own depressing life by depressingly talking about depressing things that just make me depressed myself. *sigh*

[quote name='Aa'une' timestamp='1358316363' post='6122513']
Well I'm stressed about a lot. My parents are always on my back about my grades, I don't really spend time with friends cause of it, I struggle mentally. I feel like I have depression. My girlfriend does have depression. I just feel like everything is weighing me down and stressing me out... And I have a really hard time socializing. I always have.
[/quote]

Similar situation to me, only I try to be as positive with it as possible. Apart from YCM and my girlfriend, I hardly bother to talk to anyone at all. It just feels empty inside, and everything is piling up on top of me, forcing me to put in a nonexistent greater effort than my own. Does that make any sense?
[color=white]Regardless, my mother tells me that the stress is pretty obvious on my face. I look like a zombie nowadays. Though it isn't exactly grades. Actually, if you asked me to explain why I feel so depressed, I wouldn't be able to give an answer. I don't know what makes me depressed. If I had to put a name to it, I guess it's dissatisfaction with myself. I'm still young, I know, but I feel like I've already missed a lot of things on the way there. Having moved into an Asian country with dual nationalities but unable to return back to my home country due to some silly five-years-thing policy, and thus forced to attend a school whose language I still haven't been able to master after seven years. It's to such an extent that I don't even know what England was like anymore, but I don't belong in Indonesia either. If that wasn't bad enough, I keep doing hypocritical things and every story I write now is depressing. I don't know why, but I just can't write a positive story anymore. A week ago I had the chance to display my creativity in a story so I wrote it based on a world after the apocalypse...it sounded cool at first, but when the teacher read it out loud to all the students, it just sounded utterly depressing. The same thing happened that friday when I had to write about my Christmas holiday- what holiday? I was sick in bed for [i]two weeks[/i]. I tried writing a normal fanfic, but my hand keeps on making things utterly depressing (how does an everyday laboratory suddenly escalate into a Facehugger impregnating your best friend right in front of you?). Also, the fact that I cheated on my (previous) girlfriend to another girl (my bestfriend, who also happened to be a quadruple murderer, three of which were just self-defense gone carried away but the fourth of which crossed the line) who I lost my virginity to still haunts me, and to this day my ex still believes that I was the loyal one and she was the one hiding secrets. We don't chat much anymore, if at all, which is also depressing since she said we could still be friends, though I know that's a cliche line and never going to happen. I also have a horrible short-term memory. And I get sick easily. And some people at my school are starting to notice how I don't react when they physically hurt me - if someone punches my arm really hard or tries to break my hand, I don't so much as flinch or give a sign that I'm feeling pain, and it takes them a little while to realize that they could actually break my bones if they continue. It does hurt, a lot, I'm not numb to it or anything. I'm just used to the pain, I guess, and it helps when I remind my brain that pain is only a chemical sensation. I'm also scared of letting people down, but the weight keeps on getting more and more unexpectedly heavy. Almost everyday now, I let somebody down somehow.[/color]
...well.

Honestly, the only saneness I have in all this is my girlfriend, Leney. She has really depressing problems of her own, which are probably worse than mine. She's......been through a lot, more than me, and is still going through it. But she tries to be positive all the time, so my chats with her are mostly lighthearted (sometimes dropping into serious territory, but quickly springing right back up to jokes before anything can escalate). It's encouraging, suffice to say. Without her in this world of crazy, I may as well die, now shouldn't I?

Ah, I came up as depressed and negative regardless of whether of not you read all that, it was nice to identify what's making me depressed.

[Aerion Brightflame]

@DL, I decided it would be wrong of me to put her in a sham relationship when I didn't really care for her.

Striker whether you like it or not you seem to be using it as a defense. That's not me criticizing you, I've done exactly the same more times than I can count becuase it falls naturally. People don't understand, so you make them understand and expect them to give you sympathy as a result. It got me though a whole lot of time, but like most things my ex made me realize what I was doing, and I snapped out of that. But that's mostly irrelvant.

The worst that happens if you ask someone is they say no. It might sting, but each time it stings the pain fades. Until you don't care about it anymore. Now, logically that suggests that the sooner you reach that point the better as you won't be hurt by it anymore. And your achievements don't matter, not because they are worthless, but because they aren't the thing you want to achieve it sounds like. Achievements only matter when they are what you want. Generally, that's the thing you've never had before.

As for wallowing in pity? I think you know you've done that before. I think everyone has at some point. I don't think people assume you do it every night, becuase hardly anyone thinks about that thing. All I know is that if you are you've got everyone here to help/

It's actually nice looking at all the stories here. It's striking to see how far I've come from how I was. Despite my mood swings it's a relief. Although I did feel like taking some sleeping pills and going outside in the cold all night to end things early in the week, as ever my ex to the rescue and lead to one of the most amazing conversations I've ever had.

[PokeMaster Calvin]

[quote name='PokeMaster Calvin' timestamp='1358223146' post='6121260']
Hey this looks like a nice club

Name: Calvin (Aiden IRL)
[color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3]Gender?: Male[/size][/font][/color]
[color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3]Are you in a relationship?: It's complicated, expecting to go out on a date with someone, but not really in a relationship[/size][/font][/color]
[color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3]Do you have love experience?: Yep, pretty good amount[/size][/font][/color]
[color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3]Do you mind having your relationship status open to public?: Nope not at all[/size][/font][/color]
[/quote]

Was I rejected? :S

[DL]

You're accepted Calvin =D

Everyone can be ;D


And that's sad for her I guess, Overlord...how'd she take it? >:

[Aerion Brightflame]

Well I think. My other friends were there to help her, and we talked things through and decided to be friends. I expected her to be worse off after she called me her soul mate.

[DL]

She called you her soul mate? D:

I'm almost a bit sad for her...^^''


That must hurt...

[Mr.WHAM]

One thing I hate about break ups is how after everything is said and done, the words "I love you" change in meaning to almost nothing, simply a cracked shell of what used to be. The rest of that depressing stuff though, I didn't read. Don't want to read, either but I will out of my respect to you all. I've spent too much time with sadness.

[Aerion Brightflame]

Well I expected her to get all the sympathy from it, and I don't really want or need it.

Tomorrow marks the anniversary of my first break up. A fact I don't want to realise, but my head being my head made me do so.

I'm worried for my mood about it, but hopefully after tomorrow my mood will pick up again and I can function normally again.

Which leads onto to my next question, do any of you have dates that are marked as bad days as a result of a relationship? A day you don't want to remember.

[Kōsuke Ueki]

I'd give some advice to you Striker, but considering how I suffer more from Asperger's than you, I can't really say much. And even though YOU might not use your Asperger's as an excuse, I do, with about everything involving social interaction. I don't want to, but I end up doing it anyway, and I used to tell everybody that I have Borderline Autism, which wasn't completely true. I'm actually Borderline on the Autism Spectrum, so I do suffer from a lot of things.

Think of it like this: I am nearly finished with a Unit in my class called "Exploration of Otherness". Asperger's Syndrome falls under the "Other" category for many things. We had read a book called "The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Nighttime", which was about a teenager, named Christopher Boone, with a more severe case of Asperger's who doesn't understand emotions or social interactions, and he doesn't like being touched, and we go through the book to talk about all of the symptoms we see to put him somewhere on the Autism Spectrum. To compare with the book, we watched Rain Man (Yes, the Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman movie back in '87), which was mainly to understand how to compare Christopher with someone we can actually see experiencing the symptoms.

I know I'm going off topic, and I'm probably rambling about myself, but all I can say is that, do what you think is right. If things don't work out for you, then you move on. If it DOES, exploit it further and see how far things take you.

[PokeMaster Calvin]

The best way to get over a break up for me is to attempt to start looking at other people. Statistically, with 7 billion people on the planet, there are literally 100s or other people at least that could be you "perfect partner."

 

Also keeping busy and making sure you always have something to do helps me. Anything to keep the person off your mind helps a lot.

 

Being sad about a person for more then a month is really unreasonable I think, because it is obvious that you need to move on. Also unless you KNOW that person is the one... ATTEMPT to not get too attached.

[Mr.WHAM]

Well I expected her to get all the sympathy from it, and I don't really want or need it.

Tomorrow marks the anniversary of my first break up. A fact I don't want to realise, but my head being my head made me do so.

I'm worried for my mood about it, but hopefully after tomorrow my mood will pick up again and I can function normally again.

Which leads onto to my next question, do any of you have dates that are marked as bad days as a result of a relationship? A day you don't want to remember.

Barty I have a feeling that you will come out of this right okay!!!
As for dates my most specific one is October 6th.I have 2 more but I don't want to share those. At all. I don't even want to think about them.