~YCM's Dating Club~ (Join, because we're cool ;D)

[Lust the Lascivious]

i dont think it is bad to date someone younger than yourself

[Merci]

[quote name='clairedestroyer' timestamp='1357838176' post='6117307']
notice how i never said "absolutely never date someone younger." because i think that in some cases its acceptable as long as precautions are taken. dont you dare come in here and say s*** like youve just said to me in some attempt to defend something i didnt even say i was actually against.
[/quote]

Whoa, whoa whoa. Calm down, please. He just interpreted your post in a different way than you were intending, that's all. He wasn't trying to actively ruin your reputation or anything, it's nobody's fault.

[Cute Rotten Yoshika]

im not saying anything about reputation. im saying his comments were gross and insensitive. i will admit i overreacted at the time but it doesnt change the fact that he said something that was wrong and harmful and unnecessary.

[Marisa Kirisame-ze]

Hey~ This week's been crazy, but I have a liiiiiiiittle time to be on here before my friend's bday dinner, so just wanted to stop by and say hi! And that I hope everyone's doing well.

And we're on the topic of dating someone younger? I think the age doesn't matter - what does is the individual and romantic dynamics between the two. If they're truly two people who love each other, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. It all depends on the person. Think about it - someone could be 15, but have the mind of an adult, no matter the gender. Or someone could be 20 and have the mind of a little kid. I think mental age and maturity matures a lot, but the actually age itself? Who cares.

Though I do think there's a line that shouldn't be crossed. Particularly if you're in high school and you're dating someone almost in their 30s, and so on. What I'm talking about above is between a 1 and 8 year difference. That, to me, is a good limit.

And I'm very used to going for older people. I always like older and taller, but right now, I actually think I'm getting into this sophomore. I'll see how it goes. It's only a one year difference, but still, it's a bit odd for me to like someone younger.

[Rapidfire]

I think ya'll are taking this the wrong way. Who said the girl had to be used? Girls can easily use guys. We have different reasons. Oh and as for the matter of dating a 18 year old. Been there, done that. It was interesting but pretty annoying if you ask me. I don't really agree with half of the stuffyou guys say, I don't really have age preference.I follow my feelings, that includes breaking up with them after a couple of weeks. I'm not really the type for relationships. I just can't commit. Really I don't care what you call me because I am emotion slut. My friend said relation whore is a better word. You know I don't really mind it. It's the same only you never get bored, or stop liking. BUT since one of my resolutions was to stop liking everyone, I broke any "relations" I had. It was pretty easy on my part, just because I never like a guy that much. I guess I never fall hard. Though when I do care about a guy, I don't really say anything. The guys I like are always out of my league, plus they see me as a friend, and as someone who helps them get the person they want to go out with. That is my curse. <3

Oh and Marisa, exactly my point. Age? WHO gives two fucks.

[Cute Rotten Yoshika]

ive never said "dont date underage people". not once. ive only said be careful because im someone who was hurt by it once and i know other people who were hurt by it and many people seem to blow it off as not a big deal at all. it really is. it can ruin your life.

ive also never said anything about only girls being used. ive never said anything about gender. that was all assumed on your part.

[Merci]

While I'm not that kind of guy, I understand what you're trying to say, Rapidfire, I mean I used to have a bestfriend like you. Personally, I just tend to commit without effort, dangling along until something good happens. Does that make any sense? Technically, I'm being loyal, but I can probably easily cut myself off and move on if I ever decide to. Maybe it's just me.

And Claire, honestly, calm down. She probably just skimmed over everything so she could give her own two cents on it, as nobody has the time to analyze every single detail. "

[Rapidfire]

Well most of this site is a male population, so I had a pretty good reason for that assumption. When you say it can ruin someones life not really. It's just a excuse, I know cuz I have had a lot of excuses. Really it's lack of motivation, all you need is some hope. You are gonna get rejected, broken, beaten, hurt many times through your life. But no one has a excuse of running away by saying "it ruined my life." Get motivated and do something fun when your feeling down. It's all a part of life. :'D

[Merci]

[quote name='Rapidfire' timestamp='1357870783' post='6117706']
Well most of this site is a male population, so I had a pretty good reason for that assumption. When you say it can ruin someones life not really. It's just a excuse, I know cuz I have had a lot of excuses. Really it's lack of motivation, all you need is some hope. You are gonna get rejected, broken, beaten, hurt many times through your life. But no one has a excuse of running away by saying "it ruined my life." Get motivated and do something fun when your feeling down. It's all a part of life. :'D
[/quote]

I like this post. So, I'm gonna siggy it. xD

[Rapidfire]

[quote name='Merciful Idiot' timestamp='1357870973' post='6117715']
I like this post. So, I'm gonna siggy it. xD
[/quote]

Fine with me. :3 That probably made my day.

[Nathanael D. Striker]

I'm still dealing with my own issues, but I'm not worrying much about it. And Rapid, I'm somewhat shy around girls I like and usually don't say anything while trying to act normal. That often leads me to miss opportunities. Oh well, live and learn.

[Cute Rotten Yoshika]

[quote name='Rapidfire' timestamp='1357870783' post='6117706']
Well most of this site is a male population, so I had a pretty good reason for that assumption. When you say it can ruin someones life not really. It's just a excuse, I know cuz I have had a lot of excuses. Really it's lack of motivation, all you need is some hope. You are gonna get rejected, broken, beaten, hurt many times through your life. But no one has a excuse of running away by saying "it ruined my life." Get motivated and do something fun when your feeling down. It's all a part of life. :'D
[/quote]

youre assuming again. by "ruin your life" i dont mean some petty s*** about being heartbroken. im referring to stuff like being stalked and harassed, much like i mentioned earlier:

[quote name='clairedestroyer' timestamp='1357781596' post='6116776']
yes though i got lucky for the most part. but i have a friend whos life was ruined for multiple years and had to get the police to step in and stop it because she online dated a guy who was 18 when she was 15. it was awful. and the worst part was she could only get the police involved because there were pictures involved. in most places stalking itself isnt a crime the police can do anything about. so again, be safe.
[/quote]

if youre not gonna argue in good faith and actually read what ive said on the matter before replying then please dont say anything.

[Rapidfire]

Oh, my bad. Though you meant like dwelling over love. But being stalked is bad, but you should know the person well enough to know if they will hurt you. Seriously sometimes it's hard to tell, but there are things that give it away (if the person is a stalker or something). Plus it's kinda that persons fault if they send "pics". I mean seriously it's so easy to just be in a good relationship. Well for me it is, I have amazing self control.

[DL]

Okay

First

Claire, DMG is just a bit too into this sort of subject, and expects people to be against it.

I understand, you simply want people who do that, to be careful.


I myself agree.


I also believe age doesn't matter too much in some ways, and it does in others.

Maturity, mostly.

[Cute Rotten Yoshika]

[quote name='Hayate Ayasaki~' timestamp='1357873015' post='6117749']
Okay

First

Claire, DMG is just a bit too into this sort of subject, and expects people to be against it.

I understand, you simply want people who do that, to be careful.


I myself agree.


I also believe age doesn't matter too much in some ways, and it does in others.

Maturity, mostly.
[/quote]

regardless that doesnt make that sorta statement about rape okay. thats not an okay thing to say ever. no excuses.

and rapid, well but see thats my point. people who are younger are more likely to mess up and not see the signs that someone is a stalker, or do something stupid like send pictures. thats why im iffy on that stuff cuz i know teens do stupid stuff. i did stupid stuff. thats why i want people to not blow stuff like this off and downplay it, because it is very much a big deal.

[Spirit of DMG]

I'm just gonna say this. Age doesn't mean sh** on maturity and being stupid. Neither does occupation. I currently am working with people who are 30+, doing a job you would expect some maturity out of. I have seen them dancing to Gangnam Style. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but couple that with constantly making puns out of people's names, and laughing like a group of schoolgirls, and what do you get?
Now, about the stalker... yeah, no one's gonna see the signs. Because there are none. All you're ever gonna see is "This guy is really clingly, and really creepy." That's it. Not that I've experienced this, or know anyone who has, but from Dateline, that "Watched" or whatever on ID, Most Evil, and a few other things I've seen, the "signs" of a stalker, are roughly the same as a creepy, overly-clingy non-stalker. Thus, unless you're one of those people who assume the worst about everyone, you're not gonna see it coming. Again, your friend didn't end up getting the police involved because she was 15 dating 18. That had sh** to do with it. That happened because the guy turned out to be a stalker. Which could just as easily have happened if she was 32 dating 35.
EDIT:
One more thing:
I know a girl who was raped. She was more bouncy and smiley and giggly than anyone I know. Her secret? She left the past in the past, and moved on with her life. So, "I was raped" being an excuse to be Debby-Downer and "My life was ruined"? Uhhh.... no. I only have second-hand information here, and she never told me how old she was when it happened, but it is quite possible to get over it.

[Mr.WHAM]

[quote name='Rapidfire' timestamp='1357869348' post='6117688']
I think ya'll are taking this the wrong way. Who said the girl had to be used? Girls can easily use guys. We have different reasons. Oh and as for the matter of dating a 18 year old. Been there, done that. It was interesting but pretty annoying if you ask me. I don't really agree with half of the stuffyou guys say, I don't really have age preference.I follow my feelings, that includes breaking up with them after a couple of weeks. I'm not really the type for relationships. I just can't commit. Really I don't care what you call me because I am emotion slut. My friend said relation whore is a better word. You know I don't really mind it. It's the same only you never get bored, or stop liking. BUT since one of my resolutions was to stop liking everyone, I broke any "relations" I had. It was pretty easy on my part, just because I never like a guy that much. I guess I never fall hard. Though when I do care about a guy, I don't really say anything. The guys I like are always out of my league, plus they see me as a friend, and as someone who helps them get the person they want to go out with. That is my curse. <3

Oh and Marisa, exactly my point. Age? WHO gives two fucks.
[/quote]
PM ME there's something I wish to talk to you about.

[Thar]

Stalkers are indeed creepy, but as far as I can call myself a hypocrite for saying that, I'm not sure if internet stalking is considered the same thing.

[Merci]

[quote name='Reiji Kokonoe' timestamp='1357874587' post='6117769']
I know a girl who was raped. She was more bouncy and smiley and giggly than anyone I know. Her secret? She left the past in the past, and moved on with her life. So, "I was raped" being an excuse to be Debby-Downer and "My life was ruined"? Uhhh.... no. I only have second-hand information here, and she never told me how old she was when it happened, but it is quite possible to get over it.
[/quote]

Yeah...I didn't want to mention it at first, but my girlfriend's like this too, and she had been raped as well in the past. Honestly, I don't know how she got over it, but I would personally stab this guy with a knife if I ever found where he lived. She was at her cousin's house, and her cousin's friend was there too. Nobody else was home at the time and...well.

[quote name='Yan-Tsundere Barrel' timestamp='1357875215' post='6117778']
Stalkers are indeed creepy, but as far as I can call myself a hypocrite for saying that, I'm not sure if internet stalking is considered the same thing.
[/quote]

It [i]is[/i], especially when the girl in question is active on Facebook, Twitter, or any other social media site. Drunkenly-uploaded photos would be saved before they can sober enough to delete them, and girls always handing out just about their entire life from address to when they're alone (even an update as innocent as "[i]yay parents r gone for whole day![/i]"), it's dangerous. Not to mention the guy'll know all her favorite things and use them to his advantage.

[Mugendramon]

[quote name='Reiji Kokonoe' timestamp='1357874587' post='6117769']
I'm just gonna say this. Age doesn't mean sh** on maturity and being stupid. Neither does occupation. I currently am working with people who are 30+, doing a job you would expect some maturity out of. I have seen them dancing to Gangnam Style. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but couple that with constantly making puns out of people's names, and laughing like a group of schoolgirls, and what do you get?
Now, about the stalker... yeah, no one's gonna see the signs. Because there are none. All you're ever gonna see is "This guy is really clingly, and really creepy." That's it. Not that I've experienced this, or know anyone who has, but from Dateline, that "Watched" or whatever on ID, Most Evil, and a few other things I've seen, the "signs" of a stalker, are roughly the same as a creepy, overly-clingy non-stalker. Thus, unless you're one of those people who assume the worst about everyone, you're not gonna see it coming. Again, your friend didn't end up getting the police involved because she was 15 dating 18. That had sh** to do with it. That happened because the guy turned out to be a stalker. Which could just as easily have happened if she was 32 dating 35.
EDIT:
One more thing:
I know a girl who was raped. She was more bouncy and smiley and giggly than anyone I know. Her secret? She left the past in the past, and moved on with her life. So, "I was raped" being an excuse to be Debby-Downer and "My life was ruined"? Uhhh.... no. I only have second-hand information here, and she never told me how old she was when it happened, but it is quite possible to get over it.
[/quote]

I sorta dislike having to be the one arguing against someone with an open mind. But I think I should point something out.

Sure, some girls who're 15 are perfectly mature and some people who're 30 or so are way more immature than they should be [s](says who, the social conventions which deem the act of dating underage people amoral in the first place?)[/s], doesn't mean it isn't clearly much more to be expected that they're getting into something which will likely hurt said underage boy/girlfriend.

Also, there is a very fine line (mostly written by law anyway, it makes little biological sense) that separates 15 from 18. You really can't be saying "I've dated underage people" when you're 18.

[DL]

[quote name='Mugendramon' timestamp='1357875972' post='6117788']
I sorta dislike having to be the one arguing against someone with an open mind. But I think I should point something out.

Sure, some girls who're 15 are perfectly mature and some people who're 30 or so are way more immature than they should be [s](says who, the social conventions which deem the act of dating underage people amoral in the first place?)[/s], doesn't mean it isn't clearly much more to be expected that they're getting into something which will likely hurt said underage boy/girlfriend.

Also, there is a very fine line (mostly written by law anyway, it makes little biological sense) that separates 15 from 18. You really can't be saying "I've dated underage people" when you're 18.
[/quote]Wait, you can't?

Thought it was illegal?

[Cute Rotten Yoshika]

[quote name='Hayate Ayasaki~' timestamp='1357876614' post='6117803']
Wait, you can't?

Thought it was illegal?
[/quote]

it depends on jurisdiction. the reason why 18 is considered the hard line for most people is because 18 is the age for both anything involving travel between states/countries and anything on the internet.

[Mugendramon]

[quote name='Hayate Ayasaki~' timestamp='1357876614' post='6117803']
Wait, you can't?

Thought it was illegal?
[/quote]

Well, like I said,

"there is a very fine line [b](mostly written by law anyway, it makes little biological sense)[/b] that separates 15 from 18."

By that I mean, that sure, it might be illegal, but the "wrongness" if goes that far and that's it. There's nothing biologically wrong that deems an 18-year old should not be with a 15-year old.

*exhale violently exhale violently*

[Nathanael D. Striker]

I really don't care what age a person is, as long as it is within reason. If love happens, it happens and stopping it will do no favors.

[Cute Rotten Yoshika]

[quote name='Reiji Kokonoe' timestamp='1357874587' post='6117769']
I'm just gonna say this. Age doesn't mean sh** on maturity and being stupid. Neither does occupation. I currently am working with people who are 30+, doing a job you would expect some maturity out of. I have seen them dancing to Gangnam Style. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but couple that with constantly making puns out of people's names, and laughing like a group of schoolgirls, and what do you get?
Now, about the stalker... yeah, no one's gonna see the signs. Because there are none. All you're ever gonna see is "This guy is really clingly, and really creepy." That's it. Not that I've experienced this, or know anyone who has, but from Dateline, that "Watched" or whatever on ID, Most Evil, and a few other things I've seen, the "signs" of a stalker, are roughly the same as a creepy, overly-clingy non-stalker. Thus, unless you're one of those people who assume the worst about everyone, you're not gonna see it coming. Again, your friend didn't end up getting the police involved because she was 15 dating 18. That had sh** to do with it. That happened because the guy turned out to be a stalker. Which could just as easily have happened if she was 32 dating 35.
EDIT:
One more thing:
I know a girl who was raped. She was more bouncy and smiley and giggly than anyone I know. Her secret? She left the past in the past, and moved on with her life. So, "I was raped" being an excuse to be Debby-Downer and "My life was ruined"? Uhhh.... no. I only have second-hand information here, and she never told me how old she was when it happened, but it is quite possible to get over it.
[/quote]

good for her. but guess what? its not your place to tell other people to get over their trauma. its not your place to callously remark on something that YOU PERSONALLY have not experienced. and the fact that youve had to decide to make a Big f***ing Deal out of defending something that i didnt even SAY SOMETHING AGAINST and felt the need to make some cool comments about rape and "hur hur well see its the same thing when the person is 50 or 182. hur hur ive dated underage girls so its totally okay and youre just whiny" is gross and you just need to drop it.