The Defenders [PG-13][Giving reps for reviews!]Chapter Nine is up!

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Welcome to The Defenders. This is my 4th attempt at posting a fic on this site, and due to the influence and beta-reading of Phantom Roxas, Dr. Cakey-Chan, .Exa, and Garazza, this fic has been judged as pretty decent, and in a postable shape. So sit back and enjoy The Defenders.

[spoiler=Chapter One]

The room was a bit fuzzy as I opened my eyes. And my head hurt a little. After my eyes adjusted, I attempted to wiggle my toes, succeeded. I swung my legs over the side of the bed I was in, and got a head rush. I felt around my head and realized two things. One, I had a bandage around my head, and two, I couldn’t remember a thing. More investigating also revealed a cast on my left leg. Moving it caused no pain, so I broke the cast and inspected my leg. Aside from being a little pink, it looked just fine. I decided to look around the room a bit.

My investigation of the room brought up some more interesting new pieces of information. I was female, with brown hair and blue eyes. I wasn’t very tall, but I looked around 5’6. According to some plaque on my bed, my name was Lily Aroughs and I was seventeen. And after some pondering, I concluded that I had been in some sort of accident, due to my leg and head bandages, which I had removed. I was also attached to an IV drip.

I wondered if I should remove the drip and go to the front of the building and figure out what the hell is going on. On one hand, it’s insanely awkward to move around with. But I do need it for balance, and who knows. Maybe I need it or something. I weighed the pros and cons, and decided on waiting for a nurse or someone to walk by. I opened my door. After about an hour-long wait, a nurse came by, saw my open door with me sitting on the bed, and started a bit. She concealed it quite well though. She cautiously entered and looked me over.

“Oh…you’re awake.” she said. As she said this, her eyes flitted towards the door, and started edging out. As if she was afraid of me or something.

“Uhm...yeah. Care to tell me what the hell I’m doing here?” My voice had a croak to it. I assumed I’d been under for maybe two to three weeks, and living off that drip. So that explains why I’m so weak. I haven’t had a proper meal in weeks.

“I’m not at liberty to divulge that information…” the nurse said, and then I realized she truly was edging towards the door. “I need to go get the doctor...” and with that, she darted out the door. Wondering what the big deal was, I just waited. The doc could explain this.

After about five minutes, a man who I assumed to be my doctor entered my room. I could see he had a hypo loosely held, and not very well hidden, in his right hand. I was on my guard instantly, and got up, using the IV stand for support.

“Hello Lily, my name is Doctor Higgis. I need to give you a shot now, so if you’ll please sit down on your bed…” his voice had some quality that just screamed untrustworthy, so I stayed back.

“Um…do my parents know about this?” I asked unsteadily, stalling until I figured out what to do.

This caught him rather off-guard, and after a brief hesitation of about two seconds he said; “Of course dear, now you need to take your shot.”

That one hesitation told me a few things. Firstly, whatever the hell he was doing, it was probably illegal. Secondly, my parents believe I’m MIA.

“Sorry, I wanna see some sort of proof that you’re allowed to do this, and that my parents OKed it.” I felt my body moving into some kind of subtle stance, but it was subconscious. I then felt that if this guy attacked me, I could take him. I had no idea why I felt that, maybe my head injuries were more serious than I thought, but I definitely knew I could take this moron.

“I’m authorized to give you a shot young lady, now sit down!” The doc moved towards me, hypo at the ready.

My body responded with reflexes and skills I didn’t even know I had. I immediately dropped into a crouch, and went into a sweep-kick, knocking the guy off his feet. While he was falling, my other foot shot out and kicked him into the wall. I then proceeded to collapse onto the floor as dignified as possible. Again, the problem of having not eaten properly for a couple weeks manifests itself.

I pulled myself up on the IV stand, and pulled the thing out. I retched at seeing the place where the needle went in. I hated needles. As the IV came out, I got a dizzy spell and reached a hand out to steady myself on the wall. After my head cleared, I slowly made my way downstairs. Oddly, the place seemed empty.

The clerk at the front desk had a thin mustache and bushy eyebrows. He was also bald. I resisted the temptation to laugh, and put on a serious face and went up to him. He started, and immediately reached for the phone at the front desk. Now, I wasn’t gonna put up with any of that crap, and my hand shot out and chopped his wrist. While he was gripping his arm in pain, I ripped the phone cord out.

“OK buddy, I have some questions, and you better have some answers or this won’t pan out well for you, alright?” I said angrily. The clerk nodded nervously, still holding his wrist.
“First question, where the hell am I? Second question, who put me here? And lastly, I want an out-of-court settlement for all this trouble you caused me. A thousand should do. In cash. Now.”

“Well…you’re in Greenwood hospital.” The clerk was stuttering. “S...some men brought you here…said you were in an accident.”

Well. So I was right. I had never heard of Greenwood in all my life, but at least I knew the cause of my hospitalization.

“As for the money…I don’t have a thousand on me. But I might have five hundred in the safe.”

“Go get it then.”

He went to the back wall and opened a safe I had noticed before. He counted some bills and came back saying he had four hundred fifty. I accepted, mostly because I didn’t want to leave prints in the safe. I got my money and prepared to leave, when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Now, now…we’re not leaving already are we?” A voice that was like poison honey flowed from behind me. “I have yet to make your acquaintance…Lily.”

I turned, and saw a man in his mid-thirties, wearing a black suit with a black tie. He had dirty blonde hair, and was wearing glasses. He had a wart on his left cheek.

“My name is Professor James Hodge, but you may call me James. And you are Lily Aroughs, and I need to speak with you.”

He had my hand, and started leading me to some back room of the hospital. I felt no immediate desire to resist. The room he led me too had a television screen mounted on the wall, and a long table with comfortable-looking chairs. He went over to the mini-fridge and asked if I would like a drink.

I thought that I liked Coke. So that’s what I asked for, and that’s what I got. Ice cold too.

“Now, you probably have billions of questions, so let me put many of those off by telling you a few things.

“You were in an accident on Mare Creek Road with some college boys driving back to their dorm from a trip to this town. They say you suddenly stumbled into the road, and couldn’t stop in time. Thankfully, you only suffered injuries to the head and leg, and they got you here in good time.

“Now, you have some friends, don’t you Miss Aroughs? At least, you thought they were your friends. They were the cause of your accident.”

It occurred to me that this guy was either a monumental moron, or didn’t know I had lost my memory. So I played the Loyal Hero and said; “My friends wouldn’t do that.”

James smiled and said; “I knew you would say that. Thankfully, I managed to get some footage of the accident.” He picked up a remote and flicked the TV on. A road which I assumed was a stretch of this Mare Creek Road was on the monitor, with a group of kids on the side. I could recognize one as me, but since the video wasn’t exactly high-def, I couldn’t really make out the others. I seemed to be struggling with a boy. After about two minutes of the struggling, it looked like he shoved me out into the road. Then I could see a black van, tinted windows, slam into me. Two boys came out, made appropriate ‘holy s*** what did we do’ gestures, and shoved me into the van. The van disappeared towards town.

The group of kids had somehow disappeared when the van arrived, although I wasn’t really watching them at that time, so I supposed they just ran off.

James turned the TV off. “Those kids were your so-called friends. Now do you believe me?”

I nodded nervously.

“Good. Now, you’re probably starving aren’t you? Well, it’s just about dinnertime, so why don’t you eat and spend the night at my place?”

A meal did sound good. So I accepted. We arrived at his house, which was huge, and had a huge dinner with a woman I assume was his wife. Roast chicken seasoned with garlic salt, mashed potatoes and steamed carrots drowned in gravy, and a delicious chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream for dessert. I opted to go to bed right after dinner, and as I lay there, one thing about this entire event bugged me more than most. Admittedly, this day had been very odd and strange, but just one thing confused me so much.

They don’t usually have security cameras on roads like Mare Creek.

[/spoiler]

Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

[Love of Ghibli]

Okay I feel a little empty after reading this first chapter. I feel like a lot more setting needed to be developed in order for me to understand how some of these instances are plausible. Other than that I think I kept getting confused by a couple of contradictions.

1st Cripple and B.A.M.F: So here we have Lily who's got the amnesia problem waking up in hospital and she acknowledges that she has been hooked up to an IV for x amount of weeks and should be pretty weak...this is logical she is a cripple stat wise. Now somehow she in her weakened state can sweep kick a grown man off his feet and kick him to a wall. Unless there are super powers in the next chapter that's a bit much. But I can chalk that up to adrenaline since she pretty much passed out after that bought of awesomeness. From then on it gets...hyperbolic in my opinion. In my mind I've paralleled this with the hospital escape from Kill Bill and Beatrice Kido couldn't even use her legs. They were in atrophy or something after going so long without being used. I would think something similar should happen in this situation here. But no Lily has enough strength to make her way down the stair and completely manhandle a front desk clerk. Now this could be random placating that would be revealed in later chapters but for now it just reads unrealistic. She should have been curbstomped by the awesome tag team combination of Stairs and Gravity (ever tried going down stairs and your leg falls asleep...its deadly) not demanding monetary compensation and walking out the front door. So if she doesn't have super powers that contradiction is a tad unsettling.

2nd Cautious and Reckless: Here we have amnesia Lily who has almost amazingly deduced her surroundings, scanned personality traits of doctors and their activities, realized her own fighting capabilities and is proceeding to exit the hospital WITH some start up captail. What she doesn't do...is change her clothes. She's going to walk around in a hospital gown and 450 dollars...barefoot. Kinda reckless there, but wait before she can enact this plan of genius she gets stopped by a mystery man and then goes with said mystery man because "she didn't feel the need to resist" him. But she swept kicked a doctor and man handled hospital staff...complete stranger danger on the other hand is fine. Also I'm having a hard time see anyone just being let go to go fetch money out a safe for some random patient walking around not seeing how he could just throw something at her she shouldn't have the strength to put up a decent fight. Though once again this all could be solved in further chapters.

While there are other little nuances that kind of poke at me like saying a hospital could be empty or how she is filmed getting hit be a van and then its not really clear if her friends or a just a bunch of strangers took her and put her into a van, the odd fact that she had never heard of this hospital in her life but she knows of the road where the accident happened and that the van was going in the direction of town. This could all be explained in the next chapter so I can quickly let it go. That just mean this chapter seems lacking on it own. You've introduced the protagonist with a nice gimmick, but your solution to character development came across a little unrealistic so now we have to wait for the next chapter to see if she was a supergirl or was that just some event that couldn't really happen.

I still commend you on writing though it is off to a start and the cliff hanger was pretty omnious. So I look forward to future chapters.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Thank you for the review! I'll have the second chapter up in a few days

[.Exa]

D'aww, you didn't even mention me.
(I helped, didn't I?)

I didn't read the whole of it because of lack of time, but I guess it remained pretty much the same plot-wise.
More in-depth review if I remember to do it, although most has already been said.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

[quote name='.Exa' timestamp='1355315790' post='6091228']
D'aww, you didn't even mention me.
(I helped, didn't I?)

I didn't read the whole of it because of lack of time, but I guess it remained pretty much the same plot-wise.
More in-depth review if I remember to do it, although most has already been said.
[/quote]Lol oops. Fixed it :3

[Lonk]

I decided to look over this fic. It has a great amount of potential, but I feel that it could be paced more effectively.

The main point that bothers me in this chapter was that it felt somewhat rushed. I would have expected much more panic to happen, considering that an amnesiac patient just attacked a doctor with apparant fighting skills is escaping the hospital without approval. I felt that more action could have happened after Lily defeated Higgis and before the encounter with James. I do applaud the realism presented (patients who wake up after several days or more without nourishment do tend to be more weaker), but I think that having James test Lily even more would have been more effective.

Other than that, I like how the story is so far. It starts out well, and we can see the experiences that the protagonist is feeling (which is good to connect the 1st person character to the readers), and James does have a good mysterious air you have around him. Though, why was the clerk so willing to give into Lily's demands?

[Alice Moonflowyr]

It's obvious that everyone sh*t their pants at the sight of Lily. So the clerks reaction fit with the nurses.

And again, everyone was scared silly of Lily, so there was a different kind of panic than the running-around-like-a-chicken-with-its-head-cut-off panic.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

[spoiler=Dat Second Chapter]
I stretched as I woke up, feeling more refreshed, but still remembering nothing. I noticed a set of clothes on the foot of my bed, and swapped them out for the pajamas I was wearing. I was wearing a green tee with a peace symbol on the back, and blue jeans. I wondered if I should do my hair or not, and I decided it was fine. I then heard a knocking on my door.

“Lily? Are you awake yet? I made pancakes.” James’ wife, Emily, was outside her door. She was a sweet thing, one of the sweetest people I’ve met. I think.

“Yeah, I’ll be right down! Just getting dressed.” I said through the door.

I arrived downstairs, stomach growling. The table had a stack of chocolate-chip pancakes on it, and I dug in. I must’ve gone through about five or six before James came down. He arrived right when my mouth was stuffed with pancake. I froze as he stared at me, and stayed like that for a couple seconds. He then smiled, grabbed a plate, stacked pancakes on it, and dived into them matching my gusto. I would’ve laughed if my mouth didn’t have pancakes stuffed in it. I returned to my feast. About ten pancakes later, James stopped, laughed, and said; “Enough, enough, I’m full!”

I swallowed and joined his laughter. I must’ve eaten maybe sixteen, maybe twenty pancakes and James had equaled me. “So am I. I’ve been starved for what must have been months. And you eat like you’ve been eating bugs for weeks on end.”

“Hey, you never know what meal will be your last. Gotta enjoy it to the fullest.” he said smiling. He then got up, took my hand, and said; “Come with me, I want to show you something.” We started walking downstairs, and he said; “Now, before we go into my lab, I do need to explain a few things to you. I work in an area of science not known to many people, and that area is mostly trying to figure out the impossible. Miracles, mostly.” We entered a room that looked more like a fantasy library than a lab.

“This is a lab?” I asked, looking around. “Looks more like a library.” I poked around on a table full of old, musty books and what looked like scrolls. “Actually, it looks more like a wizard’s tower or something.” I said this and looked around, and saw tall bookshelves spanning the distance of the room, made of some kind of maple or cherry wood. The books on the shelves were all dull-colored, and a bit dusty. Hell, extremely dusty.

“Ah, well, I sometimes need to check on old, rather unreliable, texts. Other scientists say it’s despicable, but I’ve made a few breakthroughs.” James came over and quickly moved my hand away from a book I had been looking at. I noticed a vein on his forehead getting…odd…but I brushed it off as he brought me over to something that looked more like a lab, with vials of liquids and other crap I didn’t care about.

He then began to ramble on about some kind of theory about strings, and then pointed out some really complicated equations on a whiteboard. I nearly fell asleep, then heard my name. “Lily, I’d like you to help with my research.”

I blinked a few times and said; “What? I didn’t get any of that.” At first I worried about insulting him, but then I realized I didn’t really care. Luckily he smiled and said; “I said I’d like you to help me with my research. Don’t worry, it’s nothing complicated. I just need you to obtain some…materials…for my experiments. Shouldn’t be too hard, I saw the way you took out that doctor.”

“Oh…yeah, sorry about that.” I said, and I felt myself blush. I still hadn’t the slightest idea on how I had taken out that doc, but maybe I had taken martial arts training or something. “Anyway, what exactly do you need me to do?”

“Just gather some basic materials and information. I’m working on a rather complicated experiment that needs some hard-to-get materials, and I think you’d be able to get them for me.” James was busy at a metal table, reading out of a book as he poured various powders and liquids into test tubes and vials. The job sounded easy enough, and I did owe the old guy a favor.

“OK, so what’s my first job?” I rubbed my hands together in anticipation, hoping it wasn’t something too hard.

“You aren’t religious are you?” James asked. He didn’t turn his head as he said this, and was tapping some more powder onto a piece of paper.

I didn’t think I was religious, and answered accordingly.

“Good, and the first thing I need are human bones.”

This wasn’t too odd a request, as I assumed he needed a sample of whatever is in bones for whatever he was doing. I also wasn’t really in a position to ask questions, so I headed back upstairs, threw on a jacket, and went outside. I then realized I hadn’t the slightest idea on the where for this situation, and asked a passerby where the nearest cemetery was. It was a fat lady in her mid-forties, wearing this outrageous purple [i]thing[/i] with matching high heels and hat. Her lipstick was also purple. She pointed down the street, North-East some, and I noticed her fingernails were also purple. I shook my head ever so slightly as I walked down the street.

It was about a ten minute walk before I arrived at a cemetery, and it was a rather small one. A guard was at the front gate. I went up to him and he gave me a quizzical look. I guess seventeen-year old girls don’t often visit a cemetery.

“What do you want, girl?” The guard growled. He had a nightstick at his waist, and he dramatically patted it as he said this.

“I just need to get into the cemetery.” I said, putting on my best little-girl voice. “My grandparents are buried here.”

“Right. May I have your last name please?” The guard asked, smiling.

“Aroughs.”

The guard started and pulled out his nightstick. “Get away from me!” his eyes bugged out, and his pupils dilated. “Go! Get away you demon!” he shouted, fear in his eyes.

I backed away, and then he charged me. [i]What the hell, he asks me to run then he charges me. Is everyone in this town mental or something?![/i] I dropped to the floor and rolled away from the guard. After he had passed me, I flung myself to my feet, and slammed my fist into his solar plexus. The guard made a big [i]Oof[/i] and passed out. I made a face and looked around for a place to hide the guy. There was a manhole nearby, so I hauled it open and dumped him in. I then entered the cemetery, still shaking a bit.

James never specified what kind of bones he needed, so I figured a skull would do nicely. Besides, they seem creepy. Like him. I then realized I forgot to bring a shovel, and looked around for one. When I failed to find one, I looked around to see if there was a crypt or something. Nothing. I sighed and proceeded to look around again. I then located a wheelbarrow at the corner of the cemetery with a shovel in it. Thanking the careless gravedigger who had left it here, I dug up a skull and headed back to James’ house. When I arrived I was filthy, sweating, and exhausted. Emily opened the door and made a [i]tsk [/i]sound at my clothes. She saw the skull in my hand, shook her head, and said; “James is in the basement.”

I clunked down the stairs and found James in the same spot I had left him. “I brought your bone.” I said, and plopped the skull down on a table.

“I trust there were no complications?” James asked, turning around. As he turned, I noticed a bandage trailing out of his sleeve. He saw me looking and discreetly tucked it up his sleeve. He made no comment, and I felt it wise not to either.

“I had to knock out a guard, but he attacked me first.” I said, still uncomfortable with the whole situation.

“Really? Why did he attack you?” James said with interest. He had picked up the skull and was looking it over.

“He asked for my last name. I think the cemetery I went to was a private one, so I guess he needed verification or something. As soon as I said my last name, Aroughs, he panicked. Called me a demon or something and then rushed me.”

James muttered something I couldn’t hear, and then said; “I think it wouldn’t be wise to reveal your last name to anyone else….ok?” He stared at me in a weird way, like he was looking through me instead of at me.

“Why shouldn’t I?” I asked. And then his reaction told me I had made a fatal blunder. I had just tipped him off to my memory loss.

Both his eyebrows rose up and he nearly dropped the skull. He put the skull down and walked over to me, and put his hand on my shoulder. “You should know that….yet you ask me why.” He looked directly into my eyes, and smiled. “Ahhh…that head injury must’ve been more serious than I thought. You’ve lost your memory haven’t you?”

The way he said that made me feel weird. Like I had just tossed a dog the juiciest bone it had ever seen in his entire life. I slowly started backing away, towards the stairs. Not enough for him to notice, but enough so I was ready to bolt at the slightest hint of intent to hurt me.

“That really is too bad. But, I can help you get it back. If you agree to work with me.” He couldn’t disguise the glee in his voice, although he tried. But getting my memory back was tempting, and I had no idea how to go about it other than this. Anyway, I knew to be on my guard now.

“As long as I don’t have to hurt any more people, I’ll help you.” I said quietly, walking towards the stairs. “But you also need to be straight with me.” With that, I began walking up the stairs. As I neared the top, I heard him say downstairs; “You, young Aroughs, are in no place to make any demands….”

That night, I dreamed of a man with fiery orange hair, wrapped completely in decaying bandages except for around his eyes, which matched his hair. He had an aura of death, and he just stood there laughing. Laughing like the world was his…..[/spoiler]

And I know this chapter was rushed, but the plot has barely reared it's ugly head, so unless you want this to go at a snails pace, this is really the only other option.

[Lonk]

I could have used more description about the cemetary, but it was overall a nice chapter. Now what happened in Chapter 1 makes sense to me.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

The cemetary itself wasnt that important, so I didnt think it warrented much of a description besides 'Small'.

But thanks for the comment again

[Forgotten Prince]

that's pretty rad and awesome no matter what any body says about it, it's your best effort and thats what counts.....I like that!!!!

[Alice Moonflowyr]

[quote name='alduin432' timestamp='1355516818' post='6093152']
that's pretty rad and awesome no matter what any body says about it, it's your best effort and thats what counts.....I like that!!!!
[/quote]lol, thanks. But I do value the input of some of the more...picky...members of the CW section. Makes me a better writer, and makes the story better. But it's good that you like it~

[Forgotten Prince]

i have a lot to say but i'm still working on my posts (not to be rude)

by the way the novel is great i love books like that and you are very creative, keep it up and you'll be an author to a new book...if that's ok?!

[Love of Ghibli]

Okay and here is chapter 2.

Well on the plus side it makes up for about 90% of the things I thought was wrong with chapter 1 so that's great. Clearly our amnesia patient has some superpowers which were needed to make chapter seem plausible and the hospital wasn't empty as much as no one wants to be in her presence for whatever reason. However chapter 2 has a given me revelation: I don't like Lily at all. In this chapter it just further solidifies her mental wish-washiness or hyper impaired judgement. She's so astute that she can break out of hospitals, make ransom demands, deduce facts about herself and her surroundings within an instant, but she goes to the "backroom" with stranger danger aka James, she will go to end up at his house, and eat his food. Even though she, in her "on" moments or in her "right mind" can clearly see the problem with this man. Personally I hope she ends up like some Mayuri Kurotsuchi test in which the pancakes had so many experimental drugs in them she grows bat wings or something.

Anywho the only real problem that have with the chapter is that I still am not clear on a setting here. First chapter she's in a hospital in [i]some [/i]town somewhere, and then we are taken to James' house? Well we aren't really sure if its a house because Lily just woke up somewhere and went down stairs meaning it could be a 2 level loft space that lead to some nearby lab. Which is also just in some arbitrary downstairs and not really explained. I'm mean I used to watch Dexter's Laboratory so I'm willing to let anything slide here. But as it is I don't even know if this is a cul de sac like Ed, Edd, and Eddy or Stepford with the evil robot women. I understand things were rushed but one sentence could have solved all of this. As it stands there's so much room on what time period this could be or where in the world is this place it just makes the story nebulous.

But once again this can all be solved in the next chapter...I see that might be the recurring theme with these chapters.

Nevertheless I still enjoy the story as it is.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Well, if Lily obviously has superpowers, who's to say James doesnt too? Maybe he has powers of manipulation, and is making Lily trust him. If you remember in the first chapter, even though she was a super-tensed and not exactly happy when she first busted out of the hospital, James appears and she suddenly calms down. I did that on purpose, so please tell me you noticed

[Love of Ghibli]

I wouldn't pick up on mind control...its too "intangible." Her super strength or w/e variation of that is blatantly tangible because the laws of science say her muscles would be in atrophy and therefore couldn't, move yet she broke out of a hospital. No other explanation for that. Mind Control can be used as the fall guy for any event that would just appear out of the ordinary: she's calm now, the wife is okay with bringing a stranger home and fixes said stranger food, police reports not being filed seeing as she got hit by a car, etc. If I would have caught on to that I would say everything is now more confusing because she already didn't trust James, but with is him, she bought the story about getting hit with the van, but knows there aren't any cameras on that road. I mean that would have to be a weird version of mind control. How extensive is his mind control then and why wouldn't he be able to sense brain damage or make doctors in a hospital act right.

In short its just easier for me to be annoyed by her. Personally its not even the total wish-washiness/mind freaking it was that she was so "rational" for someone who lost her identity. Which isn't a bad thing it goes into her character but I know I myself might be petrified with fear not beating up hospital clerks and stealing money. Then again she isn't me so maybe I should learn to deal with that lol

[Alice Moonflowyr]

I'm gonna post 3rd chapter tomorrow. She gets pissy at James

[Sora1499]

I really like the way you described James, saying that his voice was like poison honey. Really gives his character a subtle undertone of distrust. In the second chapter, I felt like lily should have met someone who knew something about her so that we can get some insight on what's going on with her before the plot goes full drive and the audience is left in the dust.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Ah screw it. THIRD CHAPTER!

[spoiler=Chapter 3]
I woke up shaking. The nightmare from last night was still fresh in my mind. The flame-haired person, laughing. Shuddering, I pulled on some clothes. Warily, I went downstairs to find a stack of pancakes on the table with a sticky note on the plate. It was from Emily, saying the pancakes were for me. Smiling, I dug in. James came down a few minutes later and began reading the paper. There were about five minutes of awkward silence when he spoke.

“I have another job for you today.”

I chewed on my pancake, swallowed, and asked; “What is it?”

“Very simple and very easy. I need you to head out to the pharmacy and purchase some painkillers. I have a prescription here.” As he finished speaking, he handed me a slip of paper with a bunch of random stuff on it.

“Do you have headaches or migraines or something?” I was curious as to what he needed painkillers for, as I hadn’t seen any evidence of any kind of old injury, and he was fairly young, so arthritis was out of the question.

“Of a sort,” he replied. The way he said it made it quite clear that the conversation was over, and this was what I was expected to do. “You may go now.”

I pulled on a jacket and headed out. Once more I realized I forgot to ask where I might find where I was going, and pondered going back and asking. James was in a mood though, so I just figured I’d find it on my own.

I realized now that the town was pretty small, and it didn’t take long to find the pharmacy. It was a rather smallish building, with not much elbow room in between the aisles of various medications. I weaseled my way to the counter. The guy at the counter was in his mid-fifties, with a handlebar mustache and a cigar in his mouth. I gagged. Showing him the prescription, he grunted and went into a back room.

I heard the door open as he was fiddling around back there, and a boy about my age walked up to the counter.

“Is Art in the back room?” he asked. As he looked at me, I noticed he had really bright blue eyes. Like a blue jay’s feathers.

I assumed Art was the cigar guy. “Yeah, he’s back there.”

“He only goes back there to get really expensive prescription drugs. You got some kind of disease or something?” He hadn’t stopped staring at me, and I was feeling a bit uncomfortable. Whenever I met his eyes, I felt this familiarity that I couldn’t explain. I shrugged it off as more amnesia s***.

“I’m getting painkillers. For…a friend.” I said. James probably wouldn’t be happy if I blabbed he needed painkillers to the town, and he was in enough of a mood already.

“What’s your name anyway?” The boy asked. He still hadn’t stopped staring.

“Lily.” After the fiasco with the guard, and James’ sudden change of mood, I wasn’t going to give some random kid my last name. But as I spoke, I saw something flash in his eyes. Recognition…

“Ah. My name’s Jay,” he said. His stare got even harder as he said that, and after a few seconds he slapped the counter and said; “Alright, Art is taking forever. I’ll be back later. Nice meeting you.” He walked out immediately. Before he went out the door though, he paused and asked; “Just out of curiosity, what’s your surname?”

I said the first name that came into my head. “Jones. My name is Lily Jones.” I felt like an idiot for choosing such a stupid surname, but at least I had covered.

Jay paused for a moment longer, and his shoulders sunk ever so slightly. He then walked out without another word.

After about a minute, Art came back with a paper bag with some more mumbo-jumbo written on a label. He didn’t even ask for any money, and proceeded to ignore me after handing me the bag. As I walked back to James’ house, I felt that I shouldn’t mention Jay to him. He was wound up enough already…

…

James was in his lab when I came back, and I plopped the painkillers on the metal table. “I got your stuff.” I said.

“I trust their weren’t any…issues this time?” He said. The honey from when I first met him was back in his voice. Poison honey. I instantly went on guard. “Because I wouldn’t want the entire town gossiping about you. As you probably saw, the place is rather…small.”

I took a deep mental breath and said; “No. No incidents. Anything else you’d like me to do?”

“Not at the moment, Lily. You’re free to roam. I recommend making a mental map of the town, so you don’t have to waste time finding places I need you to go to.”

Nodding sharply, I left the room, and then the house. I took a real deep breath then, and wondered what to do with the rest of my day. I then wondered if this town had a library, with computers. I could do some research on my last name, Aroughs. See what turned up. Excited at the prospect of finding something out about myself, I headed towards the center of town. Someone should be able to tell me the way.

After about an hour of searching and asking for directions, and getting false ones multiple times, I finally found a library. It was quite large compared to the pharmacy, and as I walked in, I heard a bell chime. A squat little woman who must’ve been in her 70’s came up to me and asked if I needed help. I politely asked if there were any computers around.
“Ah yes dear, we have some of those. Second floor, back right corner. Good luck getting a decent…what do the kids call it, the internet? Good luck getting a connection to that. It’s been known to be spotty.”

Thanking the old lady, I went upstairs and found a few dusty computers. I blew the dust off one of the screens and booted it up. Logging into the ‘Guest’ profile, I proceeded to do a quick Google search on ‘Aroughs’. Nothing particularly eye-catching popped up. I tried multiple combinations of ‘Aroughs’ ‘Demon’ and off a hunch, ‘Witch’, and after about half an hour I finally got a hit. Apparently, hundreds of years ago, there was this sour old queen named Alicia Aroughs. She was rumored to be a witch, because her subjects often heard screams coming from her chambers. I saw an interesting link concerning her descendants, and just as I was about to click, the internet froze. Cursing, I slammed the keyboard. Hard.

I trudged back outside, and was about to head back to James’ house when I saw Jay walking down the street. He gave furtive little glances from left to right, as if he was afraid of being followed. Now, being the well-behaved, innocent little girl I was, I naturally decided to shadow him.

I nearly lost him twice. The kid was good, too good, at escaping shadows. But somehow, I managed to keep up with him. He walked into this old warehouse on the outskirts of town. He flung the door open really wide, so as it slowly shut, I managed to quietly run up and get the toe of my shoe in between the door and the wall. After about three minutes, I quietly opened the door, placed a rock in the place of my toe, and creeped inside the warehouse. Before I did so, I checked the sun. It was about noon. I had maybe 5 hours before James would start missing me.

Once I located Jay, I found a good hiding spot behind some old crates. He was with 4 other people. I made out a girl, and three guys. One of them was an adult, the rest looked like kids my age. They all sat down on various things, except for Jay, who half-heartedly plopped down on the floor.

“Day didn’t go so well huh?” said the girl in a soothing voice.

“It went terribly. I found Lily, but she must’ve gotten amnesia from that ‘accident’. She doesn’t even know her own last name, and she didn’t recognize me.” James sounded like he was on the verge of tears. I had to hold my breath and pinch myself when he said my name.

“She might just be playing it safe. Not many people are friendly to the Aroughs name around here for some reason.” The speaker was one of the boys, a tall blondie in a white tee, leather jacket, and sweats.

“No, it wasn’t that. She didn’t even know who I was, Will. Not at all.”

“We’ll have to approach her again, and this time, maybe jock her memory back into place.” This was the adult, an old guy in his forties. “We can’t lose her.”

I had to get out. I rushed as quietly as I could to the door, and once I put some decent distance in between me and that warehouse, I threw up. Who were these people anyway? Wiping my mouth, I headed back to James’ place. That bastard had some serious explaining to do, and I was going to beat it out of him if I had to.[/spoiler]

YEEEEAH.

[Lonk]

I feel that the third chapter was your best one yet. Everything fragment that you have introduced in the previous two chapters is starting to come together with the revelations of the newest chapter. In addition, I like how the story cliffhangs, as though we might see Lily wanting more answers from James, and is prepared to fight him for them, or it can be completely different from the way I have described it.

Either way, keep up the work. Cannot wait for Chapter 4 to come out.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

[quote name='Tentalus Therapist' timestamp='1355698202' post='6095279']
I feel that the third chapter was your best one yet. Everything fragment that you have introduced in the previous two chapters is starting to come together with the revelations of the newest chapter. In addition, I like how the story cliffhangs, as though we might see Lily wanting more answers from James, and is prepared to fight him for them, or it can be completely different from the way I have described it.

Either way, keep up the work. Cannot wait for Chapter 4 to come out.
[/quote]It's my favorite too. It was supposed to bring more things together, and cast James in more of a bad-guy light.

[Nexev]

Does bothering to review a fic simply for reps makes me a prostitute? Answer: Yes
[spoiler=Chapter One]
The room was a bit fuzzy as I opened my eyes.
[img]http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/0/5768/677948-fuzzylumpkins_large.jpg[/img]
[b]Gotta say, your room is one of my favorite PPG villains.[/b]
And my head hurt a little. After my eyes adjusted, I attempted to wiggle my toes, succeeded. I swung my legs over the side of the bed I was in, and got a head rush. I felt around my head and realized two things. One, I had a bandage around my head, and two, I couldn’t remember a thing. [b]Wow a amnesiac protagionist, how original. Said no one ever.[/b] More investigating also revealed a cast on my left leg. Moving it caused no pain, so I broke the cast and inspected my leg. Aside from being a little pink, it looked just fine.[b] Be careful, if the leg starts singing So What you should probbably go see a doctor... and a record dealer.[/b] I decided to look around the room a bit.

My investigation of the room brought up some more interesting new pieces of information. I was female, [b]I assume your amnesia included not knowing breasts usually went on girls or that riddle would have been found out with the leg by looking down.[/b] with brown hair and blue eyes. I wasn’t very tall, but I looked around 5’6. [b]Now we can assume there was a mirror nearby, we can... but isn't it much sweeter to assume she clawed her left eye out herself to check the color?[/b] According to some plaque on my bed, my name was Lily Aroughs and I was seventeen. And after some pondering, I concluded that I had been in some sort of accident, due to my leg and head bandages, which I had removed. I was also attached to an IV drip.

I wondered if I should remove the drip and go to the front of the building and figure out what the hell is going on. On one hand, it’s insanely awkward to move around with. But I do need it for balance, and who knows. Maybe I need it or something. I weighed the pros and cons, and decided on waiting for a nurse or someone to walk by. I opened my door. After about an hour-long wait, a nurse came by, saw my open door with me sitting on the bed, and started a bit. She concealed it quite well though. She cautiously entered and looked me over.

“Oh…you’re awake.” she said. As she said this, her eyes flitted towards the door, and started edging out. As if she was afraid of me or something.

“Uhm...yeah. Care to tell me what the hell I’m doing here?” "[b]Thats the thing Lily," the nurse said with a sad look in her eye, "You are in hell" suddenly Dio pops out from under the bed and plays a sick guitar rift. [/b]My voice had a croak to it. [b]You know we never were told her species, Lily CAN be a really big frog, lets go with that. [/b]I assumed I’d been under for maybe two to three weeks, and living off that drip. So that explains why I’m so weak. I haven’t had a proper meal in weeks.

“I’m not at liberty to divulge that information…” the nurse said, and then I realized she truly was edging towards the door. “I need to go get the doctor...” and with that, she darted out the door. Wondering what the big deal was, I just waited. The doc could explain this.

After about five minutes, a man who I assumed to be my doctor entered my room. [b]Hello friends I am here [/b]I could see he had a hypo loosely held, and not very well hidden, in his right hand. I was on my guard instantly, and got up, using the IV stand for support.

“Hello Lily, my name is Doctor Higgis. I need to give you a shot now, so if you’ll please sit down on your bed…” his voice had some quality that just screamed untrustworthy, [b]How does one have a untrustworth voice? Does Carmina Burana play in the background?[/b]
[b]for those not in the know this is carmina[/b]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ71CQiDBpY
so I stayed back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjYSERaXEGI


“Um…do my parents know about this?” I asked unsteadily, stalling until I figured out what to do.

This caught him rather off-guard, and after a brief hesitation of about two seconds he said; “Of course dear, now you need to take your shot.”

That one hesitation told me a few things. Firstly, whatever the hell he was doing, it was probably illegal. Secondly, my parents believe I’m MIA.

“Sorry, I wanna see some sort of proof that you’re allowed to do this, and that my parents OKed it.” I felt my body moving into some kind of subtle stance, but it was subconscious. I then felt that if this guy attacked me, I could take him. I had no idea why I felt that, maybe my head injuries were more serious than I thought, but I definitely knew I could take this moron.

“I’m authorized to give you a shot young lady, now sit down!” The doc moved towards me, hypo at the ready.

My body responded with reflexes and skills I didn’t even know I had. [b]YOU HAD AMNESIA YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IF YOUR PARENTS EXIST![/b] I immediately dropped into a crouch, and went into a sweep-kick, knocking the guy off his feet. While he was falling, my other foot shot out and kicked him into the wall. [b]Goodbye friends I am gone, so ends the tale of Doctor Higgs[/b] I then proceeded to collapse onto the floor as dignified as possible. Again, the problem of having not eaten properly for a couple weeks manifests itself.

I pulled myself up on the IV stand, and pulled the thing out. I retched at seeing the place where the needle went in. I hated needles. As the IV came out, I got a dizzy spell and reached a hand out to steady myself on the wall. After my head cleared, I slowly made my way downstairs. Oddly, the place seemed empty.

The clerk at the front desk had a thin mustache and bushy eyebrows. He was also bald. I resisted the temptation to laugh, and put on a serious face and went up to him. He started, and immediately reached for the phone at the front desk. Now, I wasn’t gonna put up with any of that crap, and my hand shot out and chopped his wrist. While he was gripping his arm in pain, I ripped the phone cord out.

“OK buddy, I have some questions, and you better have some answers or this won’t pan out well for you, alright?” I said angrily. The clerk nodded nervously, still holding his wrist.
“First question, where the hell am I? Second question, who put me here? And lastly, I want an out-of-court settlement for all this trouble you caused me. A thousand should do. In cash. Now.”
[b]Lily remenbers a lot for someone who remenbers nothing.[/b]
“Well…you’re in Greenwood hospital.” The clerk was stuttering. “S...some men brought you here…said you were in an accident.”

Well. So I was right. I had never heard of Greenwood [b]Once again, amnesia, you have no idea if you have[/b] in all my life, but at least I knew the cause of my hospitalization.

“As for the money…I don’t have a thousand on me. But I might have five hundred in the safe.”

“Go get it then.”
[b]Lilly, Hero? Amnesia chick, Hospital robber.[/b]

[b]Seriously who robs a hospital, you have to like, eat kittens to do that.[/b]

[b]Are you sure this is the main character? Maybe Doctor Higgs was trying to fix a dangerous criminal with no parents and trying to remove her memory to prevent her from killing again. I liked doctor higgs, his voice sounded awesome.[/b]
He went to the back wall and opened a safe I had noticed before. He counted some bills and came back saying he had four hundred fifty. I accepted, mostly because I didn’t want to leave prints in the safe. I got my money and prepared to leave, when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Now, now…we’re not leaving already are we?” A voice that was like poison honey flowed from behind me. “I have yet to make your acquaintance…Lily.”

I turned, and saw a man in his mid-thirties, wearing a black suit with a black tie. He had dirty blonde hair, and was wearing glasses. He had a wart on his left cheek.

“My name is Professor James Hodge, but you may call me James. And you are Lily Aroughs, and I need to speak with you.”
[b]But first things first... are you a boy or a girl?[/b]
He had my hand, and started leading me to some back room of the hospital. I felt no immediate desire to resist. The room he led me too had a television screen mounted on the wall, and a long table with comfortable-looking chairs. He went over to the mini-fridge and asked if I would like a drink.

I thought that I liked Coke. So that’s what I asked for, and that’s what I got. Ice cold too.

“Now, you probably have billions of questions, so let me put many of those off by telling you a few things.

“You were in an accident on Mare Creek Road with some college boys driving back to their dorm from a trip to this town. They say you suddenly stumbled into the road, and couldn’t stop in time. Thankfully, you only suffered injuries to the head and leg, and they got you here in good time.

“Now, you have some friends, don’t you Miss Aroughs? At least, you thought they were your friends. They were the cause of your accident.”

It occurred to me that this guy was either a monumental moron, or didn’t know I had lost my memory. So I played the Loyal Hero and said; “My friends wouldn’t do that.”
[b]IF MORON MEANS SOMEONE WHO CANT READ MINDS YOU HAVE A VERY HIGH STANDARD OF WHAT YOU CALL INTELLIGENT[/b]
James smiled and said; “I knew you would say that. Thankfully, I managed to get some footage of the accident.” He picked up a remote and flicked the TV on. A road which I assumed was a stretch of this Mare Creek Road was on the monitor, with a group of kids on the side. I could recognize one as me, but since the video wasn’t exactly high-def, I couldn’t really make out the others. I seemed to be struggling with a boy. After about two minutes of the struggling, it looked like he shoved me out into the road. Then I could see a black van, tinted windows, slam into me. Two boys came out, made appropriate ‘holy s*** what did we do’ gestures, and shoved me into the van. The van disappeared towards town.

The group of kids had somehow disappeared when the van arrived, although I wasn’t really watching them at that time, so I supposed they just ran off.

James turned the TV off. “Those kids were your so-called friends. Now do you believe me?”

I nodded nervously.

“Good. Now, you’re probably starving aren’t you? Well, it’s just about dinnertime, so why don’t you eat and spend the night at my place?”
[b]ooooh snap James and Lily sitting in a tree K I S S I N G[/b]
A meal did sound good. So I accepted. We arrived at his house, which was huge, and had a huge dinner with a woman I assume was his wife. Roast chicken seasoned with garlic salt, mashed potatoes and steamed carrots drowned in gravy, and a delicious chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream for dessert. I opted to go to bed right after dinner, and as I lay there, one thing about this entire event bugged me more than most. Admittedly, this day had been very odd and strange, but just one thing confused me so much.

They don’t usually have security cameras on roads like Mare Creek.
[b]How did she know?[/b]
[center][/spoiler][/center]

[center]So the term amnesia seems to be used very selectively here, also not much in the terms of character explanation and so far James and Higgs have more personallity then Lilly... I think "Nurse" has more emotional range then Lilly even, thats bad.[/center]

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Thanks for the review =P

Anyway, fourth chapter is here and ready to roll~
[spoiler=Dat Fourth Chapter]I slammed the door open, and it nearly broke off its hinges. Emily, who was tidying up the area a bit, screamed as I came in. It was either the look of pure fury on my face, or the fact that I had just slammed the door open really hard. Either way. She reached out to me, evidently trying to calm me down, but I just snarled and struck her hand away. She tumbled to the ground and crawled away. I didn’t really give a s***.

I dove down the stairs as fast as I could go. James had obviously heard what was going on upstairs, but was working at his lab table as calmly as could be. This pissed me off even more, and I flipped him around, grabbed his collar, and slammed him back onto the table.

“You old man, have some explaining to do.” I said in his face, my voice menacingly quiet.

James smiled. I slugged him. Hard. He smiled some more, and I slammed his back against the table about four times before repeating myself, loudly this time, in his face again.

“Maybe…you should let me up first.” He said. His voice was smooth, too smooth. I huffed and released him, backing up a few steps. Brushing himself off he said; “I have nothing to say to you. Leave now.”

I just couldn’t hold in it anymore. I roared and flew at him. I did a flying side kick to his ribs, and heard a crack. James tumbled to the ground, holding his ribs. “You sure you don’t have anything to say?” I snarled. “It’ll be a lot easier for you if you spill. Now.”

I heard a noise coming from James. At first I couldn’t make it out, but I realised it was laughter. It grew louder and louder, and suddenly he flung his head back. I shrieked and flew back a few feet. His eyes…oh god, his eyes. They were burning red. Like an inferno.

Suddenly, his features began to melt. His clothing, his face, his glasses. It all disintegrated in a minute. What was left was a thing of the same build, but this thing was wrapped all in decaying bandages, except for his hair and eyes, which were both the same fiery color. Loose bandages trailed off his arms and legs, and a look of insanity had entered his eyes. He was still laughing. I stood there, petrified.

[b]“Wow.” [/b]The thing said calmly, looking at me. [b]“No one has made me unveil for a long time now. Congratulations.” [/b]The thing admired its hands, arms, and legs.

I mustered up some courage and asked; “W-who are you? Are you James?”

The thing pondered over that for a second. “[b]I was James. That was my name before I died. It was arson. Some thug burned my home down, killing me and my entire family.”[/b]

Ignoring the fact that he had said he died, I managed to pull out a faint “Sorry,”

James shrugged and said; [b]“Don’t be. I’m over it. After He revived me, in this immortal and much stronger form, I gave the guy a taste of his own medicine. He roasted. Just like I did…and my mother and father. That’s why I wear these bandages. To cover the burns…but anyway. You are a danger to me and my master’s plan. So therefore, I must eliminate you. And do not call me James anymore. I am Horo. Master of the Sphere of Fire.”[/b] With those words, a ball of fire appeared in Horos’ left hand. Pointing the palm of his hand at me, a roaring beam of flame erupted out at me. I was sure I was going to die, but then the flames kind of…spread. Around me. I didn’t really get it. The shock of having frigging fire shot at me had knocked me down though, and I wasn’t sure what to do.

On an impulse I tried to touch the fire, but my finger was bounced back by some really hard, vibrating wall. I noticed that Horos’ library had been set on fire, and I knew that if he didn’t kill me, the other flames would. But through the roar of the still-going beam of flame, I heard a faint female voice that I recognized from the warehouse.

“Get her out of there! Jay, go, go, go!”

I then realized Jay was creeping down the stairs, with the girl from the warehouse at his side. The girl had both of her hands out, pointed towards me, with a look of severe concentration on her face. “I can’t hold the barrier much longer! You have about three minutes!”

Horo snarled at her voice, and pointed his other hand towards them, unleashing another plume of flame. Swearing, the girl pushed out one hand at that flame, and I suddenly felt really hot. Like I was boiling. I could see that the girl and Jay were alright, oddly. She must be using some kind of barrier like she said.

Jay charged quickly at me, not seeming bothered by the heat at all, and crouched down next to me. “You alright?” he asked urgently, looking me over.

“I’m fine. Really, really confused and pissed off, but otherwise fine,” I said irritably.

“Well, I’m getting you out of here. Will and Kyle are waiting outside.”

“Who?” I didn’t recognize those names at all, except for Will. He was mentioned in the warehouse.

“I’ll explain later. But just so you know, they’re friends.” Jay then grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the stairs. “Rain, get rid of the barrier as soon as we’re up and out!” he said to the girl. She nodded and started backing up the stairs. We passed her, got up and out, and then heard a roar of flames. Rain followed us up, the back of her shirt smoking.

“The bastard singed me! This shirt cost me twenty bucks!” She complained as she came out. Jay smiled and gestured towards the door. “The whole basement is on fire by the way. This whole house is going down.”

“Hey uh…is anyone going to tell me what the hell is going on here?” I said, getting a bit annoyed at the pure lack of info.

“Later. Right now, we have to get out and away from this town.” Rain said, then looked at Jay and added; “Ashton has a car waiting outside. Decent car, should get us out of here quick.”

Jay looked a bit doubtful and asked; “Is it a decent size this time? Last time we borrowed a car it was cramped as all get out.”

Rain laughed and said; “It’s huge. Now come on!”

We raced out the door and saw a big black van right outside. Rain and Jay didn’t even slow as they leapt in the back and yelled; “We’re in, go!” The van rocketed away.

Out the window, I could see the house burning in a huge inferno. But I also saw a man, wrapped in decaying bandages, with hair and eyes as bright as the fire burning around him, standing outside, watching. Watching us go.

…

“Ok, I have a helluva lot of questions, and I want answers. Let’s start with who am I, and who are you guys?” I asked, turning to Rain and Jay. I noticed two other boys sitting in the car. I recognized Will, but not the other one. The other boy had a mohawk, and was wearing a tank top with faded jeans.

“Well, you’re Lily Aroughs. The rest you’ll have to figure out for yourself, although Ashton might be able to help you.” Jay said. I assumed Ashton was our driver, and the adult in the warehouse. “As for who we are, I guess I’ll do introductions. My names Jay, and I’m your brother. I’m a year older than you. This is Rain. You two are best friends. The guy acting all emo is Kyle. He’s my best bud, and he isn’t actually emo. The blondie is Will. He moved into the house next door to us a few weeks ago.”

“Doesn’t really help.” I said. “I don’t want your names, I want to know who you are. How you could do that…stuff.” I aimed that last part at Rain mostly. “And who the hell was that Horo guy?”

Rain answered this time. “We all have special powers and stuff. You do too. I’ll explain.

“We all have a different special ability first of all. Mine is the ability to manipulate sound waves to either be a weapon or a wall, or anything like that. That’s how I shielded you from the fire. Jay can survive pretty much anything. Extreme heat, extreme cold, thirst, hunger, you name it, he’ll come out of it alive. We think the only way he can actually die is if he was beheaded or stabbed dead in the heart. Kyle can transmute things. Like, with some concentration, he can change stone into iron. It usually turns back after a while. Will can change his physical features, the tone of his voice, and even his mannerisms to turn into a completely different person. Which is pretty cool. And you can teleport. You and Ashton were the only ones who knew the specifics, and he’s very cagey about it. You’ll have to talk to him.

“We also each have some kind of enhancement. You have increased physical strength, I have increased intellect, Jay has increased speed, Will is a master strategist, and Kyle is a patience king. We also have control over our Auras, which let us use a kind of magic called Aethr. Our Auras manifest themselves as kind of a white smoke, and we can form and shape it to our liking. I usually don’t bother with Aura stuff, seeing as I have my sound waves. And you can do some pretty cool stuff with obsidian, but again, only you and Ashton knew the mechanics behind that. But Jay, Kyle, and Will all use their Auras in combat and in normal situations. It usually doesn’t match up to something physical, like a steel sword is usually more powerful than an Aura sword, and an Aura fist is weaker than a real fist, and so on.

“That’s about it. Any questions?”

“Yeah. How do I manipulate my Aura?” I asked. The speech she gave me had a ring of truth to it, which suggested that I already knew about it.

“Well, for us it comes naturally. We just kind of imagine a white smoke appearing, and it kinda flows out of us, and then we can shape the smoke and solidify it, and basically manipulate it.”

I resolved to try this later. But for now, I still had one pressing question. Who was I?

[/spoiler]

[Love of Ghibli]

So many apps and RP's got in the way...and then there was that blackout so I've actually read both chapters for a while anywho here we go

Chapter 3: Yeah this was clearly the best chapter (I'm including 4) not because it was particularly great, but it was able to solve the problems of the previous chapter. I get it now the friends in the van were also super powered, there is a litany of background development, its an actual small town (setting has been established), this is great. In addition to that it didn't set up inconsistencies that have to be solved in later chapters. Now mind you on the surface there wasn't much of anything to mess up here. She went to a pharmacy, then a book store, then followed some kid (talk about that later), and went back home. They were all very important events, but it would be hard to mess that up.

Finally normally I would have problem's with the statement "he was amazing at getting rid of shadows" for it implies that the amnesia patient is a superspy who recognizes when someone is good at dodging spy moves. But then it hit me. If he is actually good at dodging shadows that must mean he is a super spy as well. Meaning this is the Spy Kids reborn and therefore making all of her prior B.A.M.F. moments that seemed random and out of place are now explained through one random act of stalking. Its so great I'm almost moved to tears. But yeah this was the good chapter.

[url="http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/32333633.jpg"]Chapter 4:[/url] Yeah that could have been done with some a little more grace...lol While I love that she just went down stairs and delivered beatings it kinda went down hill from there. Okay so James is the sun God or whatever he is now...ugh I knew he was when I read the nightmare portion, but I just hoped he wasn't. I mean I didn't get enough time to fully marinate the idea of a traumatic nightmare into my psyche till it came to life. Thus being a killjoy. For example of that done correctly and what I am talking about. Look at the current arc in Fairy Tail at the very beginning you see Charlie's apocalyptic premonition, and they kept slowly poking at throughout the entire arc. Maybe Fairy Tail winning is a bad thing and closer and closer you don't know what to believe but that nightmare is still relevant. Not like this one where its nightmare and boom 2 chapters later oh...here it is some dude in the basement. Somewhat of a let down.

Second we start getting into what I like to call Air Gear science . If you've ever watched or read air gear you'll see/know that you can do some pretty amazing things with wind, sound, vibrations,...and skates? Sure all of this is explained to you but really when could skates removed the air from an entire area and not be called magic. The point is I don't know how sound blocks fire. While I'm sure you could explain it its just weird. Yes I'll give you the fire balls not hitting her but in truth if she is underground (with no mention of windows) and James/Horo is literally just burning the air with his sheer presence AND chucking fire. Should someone just be pass out from heat exhaustion or smoke inhalation. Then again I guess this could all go down in a matter of minutes so maybe not. I still feel we just rushed into that not so long fight scene.

Like the other chapters before it (not including 3) I hope chapter 5 covers this one up. Because now I need to see firefighters. I need to know how NO ONE notices people pulling up in a van going inside a house, that house now catches on fire, kids dragging someone out, and then fleeing the seen. I'm going to need the definition of teleportation in this sense. Is it Nightcrawler teleportation, which is good, or Jumper teleportation...Oh I hope not. I guess those details can be dealt with in later chapters though. seeing as this was just a chapter about revealing James/Horo and the super kids.

But still intrigued seems interesting and I still commend you on being an author like this its very bold.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

One question.

Dafuq is a Jumper teleport?