2 Numbers from a fanfic I was going to make

[Jord200]

Number 24: Snow Storm Hero
Rank 4 WATER Warrior-Type Xyz
ATK 2300 DEF 2100
2 Level 4 WATER Monsters
Once per turn, you can detach an Xyz Material from this card to place 1 Ice Counter on every face-up monster on the field, except this card. When this card battles a monster with at least 1 Ice Conuter on it, decrease that monster's ATK by 300 for every Ice Counter on it.

Number 52: Witch Queen Gretchen
Rank 3 DARK Spellcaster-Type Xyz
ATK 2400 DEF 2550
3 Level 3 Monster
This card cannot be Special Summoned, except by Xyz Summon. Once per turn, during your Main Phase or your opponent's Battle Phase, you can detach an Xyz Material from this card, and banish 1 Spell/Trap Card from either player's Graveyard. This card gains the effect(s) of that Spell/Trap Card until the End Phase.


These were supposed to be in a Rosario Vampire Yugioh Zexal crossover fanfic I was going to make, but I'm making it a Pokemon Rosario Vampire crossover instead. If you've seen Rosario Vampire, you should be able to figure out who had these Numbers. Interasting note, 52 is the only one of the two that possessed its owner.

[DrunkenSage69]

Some problems:[list=1]
[*][u][i][b]Snow Storm Hero:[/b][/i][/u] It doesn't specify how much it decreases. I wouldn't make it much since it puts a counter on all monsters except itself.
[*][i][u][b]Witch Queen Gretchen[/b][/u][/i]: Being able to banish any s/t card and gaining it's effect(s) for just detaching 1 material is a little broken. And with Tour guide + easy lv 3 summoners like Spell Striker, it becomes a very quick 1st turn Xyz and very dangerous for just 1 material and any good s/t in either grave. I would suggest having specific lv 3 monsters (either type or attribute) to make it a little more difficult to summon or making the effect detach more than 1 material.
[/list]
Other than those statements, I like the cards and good luck with your fanfic .
[color=#ff0000][size=5][u][i][b]Overall: 7/10[/b][/i][/u][/size][/color]