Dr. Cakey Posted July 18, 2012 Report Share Posted July 18, 2012 Because there’s not a lot of activity in the Creative Writing forum, instead of visiting every day/week and sadfacing because there isn’t anything new, I visit every month or so. It’s not on a schedule or anything, just whenever I feel like it. I decided to record my findings in this journal, as journeys into this forum can be dangerous, and I’m not as young as I used to be. [spoiler=Standard History (Day 1)]Story: Yu-Gi-Oh! MemeAuthor: MagicianEatosWeather: Hot Yeah, f*** this s***. ReportFinal Score: -Chapters Words Read: 100 While not boding well for future exploration, I walked on regardless to... Story: The JesterAuthor: DemonicIntentionsWeather: No, Really, It’s Hot There’s a very specific brand of terrible I wanted to read and this isn’t it. Decent, all things considered. Likely doomed to be locked, because I’m pretty sure it doesn’t fit the minimum length requirements, and it isn’t properly formatted ReportFinal Score: 6/10Chapters: One, in two measly parts Story: Brandon Sparkman MonologuesAuthor: BrandonSparkmanWeather: Seriously, I have two fans going and it’s still hot There is a simple answer. Fear is whatcontrols the world, whether you would like to believe it or not.Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.Only I will remain Think for a minute or so about who would miss you when you die. Perhaps you find it sweet that they would miss you. Well, when they fade away as well, who is going to miss you? Nobody. That, my dear friend, is the moral of this story. Do what you can in life to be great, because one day, nobody will remember you.“I will never....be a memory...” Now, dear audience, I need to know. For the sake of my heart and sanity, answer me this. What is love..and why is it such a mystery to those who cannot find it."Hearts, you say? You Humans are always so quick to speak of such things. As though you carry your hearts in the very palms of your hands. But this eye of mine perceives all. There is nothing that it overlooks. If this eye cannot see a thing, then it does not exist. That is the assumption under which I have always fought. What is this "heart"? If I tear open that chest of yours, will I see it there? If I smash open that skull of yours, will I see it there?" Everyone deserves a dance..even if it is just one. So, the next time you interact with a gentle person, put on your mask, and ask them to put on theirs. Maybe then we can all dance."I suppose it is only to be expected. You have my pity. There is no such thing as 'truth' or 'lies' in this world; there never has been. There is only plain, hard facts. And yet, all beings who exist in this world take only those 'facts' that are convenient to them, and take them to be the 'truth'. They do so because they know no other way to live. However, for those powerless beings that make up the majority of this world it is those 'facts' that are inconvenient for their own self-affirmation that make up the real 'truth'." If only others could hear the extremely high pitch. The high pitch of the silence. Perhaps then they could comprehend my pain. The pain that echoes through my being.“Young boy, this is despair.” The first person to correctly identify the source for a quote gets...let’s say, 50 points for each correctly identified quote. Report:Final Score: -Chapters: Five Pretentious Tiny Monologues Story: Deaths & Duel MonstersAuthor: guuu1234Weather: I like One Piece It’s got a lot going for it. You should probably go read it ReportFinal Score: 7/10Chapters Read: Three [spoiler=Standard History (Day 2)]As I traveled up into the higher regions of the Creative Writing forum, I was set upon by various beasts and other, stranger, things. A giant bird attacked me, cawing “DUNE! DUNE! DUNE!” I threw points at it until it went away. As I reached the midway point, a giant moderator appeared. I opened fire, but guns are useless in stories so it opened one of its hundred mouths and swallowed me whole. As I passed through the dimensional vortices of its innards, I saw visions of the past and future, but I can’t be bothered to describe them to you. Then time exploded, which I thought was really weird. I mean, does time work like that? Does anything swallowed by a moderator pass through some kind of time juncture? That would mean there are a lot of time lines. And if so...is there a Double C4 in each of them? I hoped somewhere there was a Dr. Cakey in a time line where One Day of Peace was banned. [spoiler=Altered History (Day 1)]Story: Yu-Gi-Oh! MemeAuthor: MagicianEatosWeather: CloudyI seriously tried to read this. Okay, I didn’t try very hard, but I did try. All I can say is that the hundred words I read were the worst hundred words of my entire life. Which is strange and probably impossible, because I have nothing against words like “a” and “the”, and there were a lot of those. Have you ever read or watched or played something that objectively wasn’t particularly bad but nevertheless caused you extreme suffering? That would be this. Why does this happen? What does it mean? Why are we put on this earth? Given the premise that a woodchuck is - as its name already implies - capable of “chucking” or otherwise throwing wood of some given mass, how much of that wood would it in fact be capable of chucking within a given time interval? Do I actually think this list of questions is amusing? An Arbitrary Number: 3 Story: The JesterAuthor: DemonicIntentionsWeather: CloudyImagine Game of Thrones. Now, take out everything except the two e’s, the t, the h, the r, and the s, and put in a j, another t, and another e. Now you have The Jester. Everybody likes jesters. They make great midbosses, and when modified with cool adjectives like “crimson”, “masked”, or “black” they can even make the cut as main antagonists. They’re also related to Jokers, which are very impressive when played by Heath Ledger or that other guy from that other Batman movie that was good before Christopher Nolan made Batman Begins. Jokers are also strange because they come as part of a deck of cards, but then you have to take them out before you play anything. I mean, what the f***’s with that, am I right? Actual Jesters (rather than people in Jester outfits who commit serial murders and/or run the Circus Level) are few and far between, however, partly because they have been mostly replaced by the far more talented stand-up comedians, but mostly because jesters are creepy and weird. So those were a bunch of words that have nothing at all to do with The Jester. This story is about a servant girl who wants to be a jester, but sadly only men can be jesters. Personally, I’d have aimed a little higher. Maybe “knight”, but probably “sorcerer”. There are lots of career opportunities for women in the magical arts. You don’t have to deal with the glass ceiling. But our heroine has less grandiose ambitions than I. And if I explained anymore, I’ll have told you the whole of the story as it currently exists. On the one hand, why read it if there’s so little to it? On the other hand, it’s going to take you less than five minutes, so why not? An Arbitrary Number: 17 Not A Story: Brandon Sparkman MonologuesAuthor: Brandon SparkmanWeather: CloudyEarlier I mused on why we were put on this earth and how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, but here, the Boy Wonder Brandon Sparkman sits down to discuss just that and more. But who cares about any of that? People posted in this topic, which is much more interesting than some monologues: Crab Helmet Makes One Sentence Critique; Unanimously Elected President Of WorldOh, good, a middle-schooler's deep dark musings, bringing us such wisdom as "People aren't immortal". Double C4 says...something...about like, atheism or something?Please tell me you don't agree with anything you have posted here or what you either have now or will eventually have in your head? If you do, then I guess that's what comes with being an atheist (If you are one, that is), at least the kind that believes that any form of evidence proving that a higher being exists (i.e. God/Jesus Christ) cannot be physically proven, but only mentally, in which such an atheist would merely see it as hallucinations or illusions created by the impossible desire of actually having eternal life. Rinne says “funk”.You're both wrong. Crab doesn't get rights to attack people, you don't get rights to... insult other peoples' religion or lack thereof, which is what I gathered you did in post 4. I'd warn both of you but I haven't yet figured out how the new warn software works and I have no motivation to, so I'll just say shut the f*** up or I will get motivated. That goes for anyone else posting in here or anywhere else in Fanfic for that matter. Rinne completely summarizes my opinion on the monologues in three sentences!As for my own thoughts, it comes off as pretentious. Anyone can spout things like these because they're undeniable and unobjectionable, so you need to bring a new spin to the table to avoid sounding like a twit. I could easily write something about how cannibalizing fetuses is bad, but it would have just the same amount of impact. An Arbitrary Number: 12An Arbitrary Number (for the topic): 9,999 Story: Deaths & Duel MonstersAuthor: guuu1234Weather: CloudyYu-Gi-Oh! stories have a pretty high acceptance for stupid. Fifteen-year-old assassin with amnesia employed by a secret government organization who has to become a pro duelist? Sure, why not? Points of interest include: Short duels. Everybody but me loves short duels. Realistic duels. The duels use all real cards and so far have used low to moderate tier decks for solid back-and-forthing. The writing is decent as well. Not gripping at any particular point, but it gets the job done, which is more than I can say for a lot of stories on this forum. Honestly, the biggest draw is that the more this guy writes, the better he’ll get, so support this guy. Save the future! Or something. An Arbitrary Number: 25 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted July 19, 2012 Report Share Posted July 19, 2012 Hey rejoice man, this section has got busy this week. I mean, comparitively speaking of course. But yeah, there's a lot of new writers coming in and getting stuck in, and one or two old boys returning. So yeah, hopefully that continues and you don't steer them all to the edge :D Glad somebody else read The Jester and thinks it has some promise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SerenadeDSM Posted July 19, 2012 Report Share Posted July 19, 2012 Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.Only I will remain This would be from Dune. Currently on book 5. ^-^ I like the idea of this journal-esque reviewing style. To be honest, it would help to put a little more detail to back up your opinions. I read the first review and I just said "er... why?" since we didn't really even get a small snippet of what was happening (outside the title, but titles don't always help). It would help to at least link to the fic so others can see what you mean. I know you wrote that review the way you did for humorous purposes, but it just came off as arrogance. The other two were slightly better, since they actually said something meaningful. Satire-like reviews are clearly all in good fun, though posting unhelpful, potentially hurtful reviews doesn't do anyone any good. Even for the final review: why should I read it? Just because one person said so, without even telling me what makes it worth reading? There's really no rhyme or reason to your numerical scale since there's nothing here to base it off of. In short, the premise of this thread is good. The execution is not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hatcher Posted July 19, 2012 Report Share Posted July 19, 2012 "Oh look, another reviewing topic. Maybe they'll review a few stories I like or introduce me to a good story and give me a good reason to read it." Day 1: Yu-Gi-Oh! MemeAuthor: MagicianEatosWeather: Hot Yeah, f*** this s***. ReportFinal Score: -Chapters Words Read: 100 Day 1: The JesterAuthor: DemonicIntentionsWeather: No, Really, It’s Hot There’s a very specific brand of terrible I wanted to read and this isn’t it. Decent, all things considered. Likely doomed to be locked, because I’m pretty sure it doesn’t fit the minimum length requirements, and it isn’t properly formatted ReportFinal Score: 6/10Chapters: One, in two measly parts Day 1: Brandon Sparkman MonologuesAuthor: BrandonSparkmanWeather: Seriously, I have two fans going and it’s still hot [irrelevant unfunny quotes] Report:Final Score: -Chapters: Five Pretentious Tiny Monologues Day 1: Deaths & Duel MonstersAuthor: guuu1234Weather: I like One Piece It’s got a lot going for it. You should probably go read it ReportFinal Score: 7/10Chapters Read: Three ... Seriously? You're not gonna link to the story, write what you like about the story, or even give most of them a grade? This isn't even a reviewing topic, it's just a thumbs-up/thumbs-down thread. "[Title of Story] [Good/Bad] [Arbitrary Number/10]" Yeah, funk this sheet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frybread002 Posted July 19, 2012 Report Share Posted July 19, 2012 Uhhh...As much as I try to avoid these kind of thread...the rules do give him the power to make this thread and...yeah...but Hatcher does have a point, it's a thumbs up/thumbs down kind of thread and the only thing that I'm seeing is just random data being thrown at me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest - Neo - Posted July 19, 2012 Report Share Posted July 19, 2012 This is your idea of a Creative Writing clean-up? There's plenty of new writers with some potentially awesome stories and instead of giving people who might be attempting to give this section a try, you know, some links, or even some positives as Pika said, you just flame some stuff with random scribblings? Why even mention the bad stories? Why not just post a thread with some of your good findings so people know where to start when trying to find some stories to get into? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted July 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHCbp5LTgbU&t=1m29s Good job, guys. You just broke the timeline. But if this is 'Altered History'...what's changed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kōsuke Ueki Posted July 20, 2012 Report Share Posted July 20, 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHCbp5LTgbU&t=1m29s Good job, guys. You just broke the timeline. But if this is 'Altered History'...what's changed? I don't even know what to make of this. Hell, this thread seems rather pointless to me. Clean-up thread my ass. This can't even be seen as a review thread. Where's the constructive criticism? Where's the helpful advice that leaves room for improvement? All I see is a jumbled mess of a thread that doesn't really look it'll get anywhere at all. So, like Pika said, "F*ck this sh*t." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest God Machismo!!!!! Posted July 24, 2012 Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 "Young boy, this is despair" is what Aporia said to Rua in 5D's. “I will never....be a memory...” is from Squall in FF8 during the first trip to Galbadia Garden talking about Seifer's "execution" for capturing the president. Gimme points nom nom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted July 24, 2012 Report Share Posted July 24, 2012 Everybody shut up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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