Desu the Blue Nerd Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 I'm pretty sure this is completely irrelevant from DEF 2. He just said this is an RP he's making after he's done with DEF 2. I also want to avoid the whole concept of someone being able to corrupt a person, as it is already a part of Spiritual already, but I do like the idea of Fusion/Absorption. I wonder why no one else is adding anything? (8 l) Because know one really cares much or thinks they'll be of much help. So what else do you still need? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glitch Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Jake is writing a fanfiction based on a fic called Trio of DEF, which is similar to another fic called YCManga in that it's based around the forum and its members. The one that Jake's writing is supposedly the sequel, but some refuse to accept it like that. The discussion is about a RP that Jake plans to make based on DEF 2. He wants to know how certain branches of abilities can work out and what kind of powers relate to them/how they are used.Oh, ok then. Thank you. No input. :3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thar Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Ah okay, it sounded like it was relevant to DEF 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 So what else do you still need? Well some of the stuff I still don't enjoy. I mean the whole Fusion/Absorption thing like I already mentioned I do like and will add that but the other ones I really don't think they will work out. Ah okay, it sounded like it was relevant to DEF 2. Nope not at all. Like DF said this is for a role play I plan on doing AFTER 'Trio of DEF II'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Mind+Spiritual=Control (I know I keep bringing this back up but really think about it. Control of not only mind but spirit as well. Like even the soul's will to fight back against the psychic attacks has been snuffed out.) Really dislike it that much? Well I still got one more for it. Mind+Spiritual=Emotions (Along the lines of being able to control and manipulate people's emotions as well as other related things. Ex. Take away the morale of enemies and boosting the morale of allies.) Spiritual+Natural=Resonance (A sort of extreme attunement with nature. All within nature is in view and grasp. Sight from the point of view of a single blade of grass a mile away or even teleportation to said blade of grass becomes possible. A bit more open to change but the extreme attunement to nature sounds really good to me. Really, superior tracking skills with things like first hedge view and just being told by plants what the status of things are sounds like it'd be great. But then again, it's already probably a natural thing. Resonance is still a really cool word though.) Astral is still literally all I've got for Body+Spirit. Seriously, throw a bunch of ghost shit in there too. It'd be great. Maybe just rename it Spectre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Okay as I said with the whole corruption thing I'm not that interested in giving people the ability to control other people. Yes psychic has that but only the strongest of masters can use it and even then it is not a fool proof ability. So anything with controlling or manipulating anything about a person be it spirit, soul, emotions, etc. I'm not interested in hearing it. As for the 'Resonance' portion I thin something like that, minus the teleportation, would be a good idea. Combine that with someone who can use wide-ranged telepathy then you got a good tracking team right there that can communicate important information to a battalion over large battlefield. And 'Astral' just seems like a portion of Spiritual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Headmaster Monokuma Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Honestly at this point, I'm just giving Desu points for giving enough of a fuck to even try helping you. Good job Desu, 11/10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 20, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Honestly at this point, I'm just giving Desu points for giving enough of a f*** to even try helping you. Hey Dane, don't think that I don't appreciate all of his assistance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted March 20, 2014 Report Share Posted March 20, 2014 Okay as I said with the whole corruption thing I'm not that interested in giving people the ability to control other people. Yes psychic has that but only the strongest of masters can use it and even then it is not a fool proof ability. So anything with controlling or manipulating anything about a person be it spirit, soul, emotions, etc. I'm not interested in hearing it. I literally have nothing else here. Those are the best options to me at least. And Emotion sort of early on wouldn't be an outright mind control thing. It'd be more of a suggestion thing. Like, "Oh, man, I'm sort of under the weather now," with an Emotion user snickering in the background. As for the 'Resonance' portion I thin something like that, minus the teleportation, would be a good idea. Combine that with someone who can use wide-ranged telepathy then you got a good tracking team right there that can communicate important information to a battalion over large battlefield. And 'Astral' just seems like a portion of Spiritual. Dude, just go with spectre and have characters have ghost powers like Danny Phantom. Phasing and the such. Also, pyrokinesis is a thing, you know. Your magic fireballs mean little to me. Honestly at this point, I'm just giving Desu points for giving enough of a f*** to even try helping you. Good job Desu, 11/10. I was sort of enjoying it. Keyword: was Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 21, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2014 Dude, just go with spectre and have characters have ghost powers like Danny Phantom. Phasing and the such. Alright I suppose we can go with that. Also, pyrokinesis is a thing, you know. Your magic fireballs mean little to me. I know pyrokinesis is a thing and people can manipulate fire in multiple ways. Pure 'Nature' masters can control fire, though it can also be controlled with Magic and Chakra as well. There is always going to be a few things that can be done more than one way. Thanks for everything DF, you basically helped me kick a lot of this out of the "needs to be done" bin and now I can resume writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 31, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Anyone willing to help with the role play thing I have going while I write? Also anybody ever watch Blue Exorcist or Black Lagoon before? I recently began to watch them via Toonami and I have to say so far both are pretty good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 I don't got much going on. Might as well I suppose. Seen Blue Exorcist. Don't care much for it. Still need to watch Black Lagoon. Raine recommended it to me a while ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Black Lagoon was pretty good in my book. God I love Balalaika. She is a true waifu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted March 31, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 I don't got much going on. Might as well I suppose. Should I send you the information here, via PM, or just over Skype? Seen Blue Exorcist. Don't care much for it. Still need to watch Black Lagoon. Raine recommended it to me a while ago. Yeah honestly Blue Exorcist is kind of becoming more of a bore to me. Seriously you have the son of Satan in a school for exorcists who would kill him if his secret is found out and . . . the last episode was about a cooking demon being upset. What? Seriously this show needs to pick up with more awesomeness if I'm to remain interested. Black Lagoon on the other hand. My. F*cking. God. Two episodes in and I can say I f*cking love these characters already. They are completely unadulterated badasses who don't give a d*mn and will do whatever they can to accomplish their goal. Not to mention this is one of the few anime that I can remember that the main cast isn't "good" by any means. In fact in most series they'd be the bad guys. It's a nice change of pace. Black Lagoon was pretty good in my book. God I love Balalaika. She is a true waifu. Character from the series or are we talking about something completely different? Like I said above I've only ever seen the first two episodes. And on the note of badass . . . On Novermber 1st, 2013, 80-year-old Russian shepherd Yusuf Alchagirov was minding his own business, not pissing anyone off, just working his farm in the ultra-rural, super-hilly backwater province of Kabardino-Balkaria along the Russia-Georgia border. He's lived a quiet life with his wife, family, and fellow villagers, working these fields since the days of Joseph Stalin, going through the daily-grind of sheep herding and farming presumably without ever having to literally headbutt any predatory wildlife unconscious in a life-or-death struggle for his own survival. But that day would be unlike any of the previous 29,200+ days of Yusuf Alchagirov's life. Today he was going to find himself locked in hand-to-hand combat with a pissed-off 1,000-pound Grizzly Bear armed with razor-sharp six-inch claws the size of kitchen knives and teeth specifically designed for crunching bone and disemboweling the meaty parts of organic life forms. You see, it was on this day that Yusuf, who didn't have access to badass ATVs and sh*t and was still manually running down his sheep down on foot Cliff Young style despite literally being older than the Luftwaffe, found himself trotting through an old raspberry field near his farm and directly into a crude trap laid for him by one of nature's most gigantic and cold-blooded killers. I guess the story goes that Alchagirov's dumbass sheep ran off like a bunch of asswh*les and wandered into the fields, but right as our old man hero was about to round them up and send them back to their pens he looked behind a nearby raspberry tree and saw a gigantic-ass brown bear sitting there, crouched in attack position, just waiting for this geezer to show up, rub a bunch of delicious berries on his head to season himself up, and then leap directly into the bear's open jaws like a Salmon during spawning season. Now, it's important to mention that Russia is basically getting f*cked up right now by some kind of crazy Bearmageddon. Apparently there's been a lot of flooding recently, meaning that a bunch of bear food has been destroyed in the northern parts of the country, and now brown bears are rampaging across the countryside devouring everything they can find. Their favorite food is Geologists, having eaten three of them in the last calendar year, but in addition to hating scientists they also like to break into homes and steal borscht from peasants because they are total dicks and have no respect for oppressive Capitalist concepts like private property or the freedom from not being eaten by bears while you're trying to take a piss in the wilderness. Yusuf Alchagirov had already had enough of this bear bullshit. The 80 year-old man froze for a second, staring unblinkingly to the predatory eyes of a voracious, man-eating, half-ton killing machine that was preparing to massacre and devour him in a flurry of spikes and gore. Only one thought passed through his mind: I'm going to f*ck this thing up and wear his balls as a hat. The bear charged. Yusuf acted fast – he pulled off his jacket, threw it over the bear's head, and then f*cking punched the bear in the f*cking face as hard as he could. But the old "bag over the head punch in the face" thing just pissed the bear off more, and the thing threw the coat off its head and chomped down with its ridiculously-massive jaws, locking them onto Yusuf's arm, ripping into bone and flesh with its slathering fangs. Yusuf Alchagirov did exactly what you or I would have done in that situation – he grabbed the f*cking bear's lower jaw,wrenched it off his arm, and didn't let go. Oh yeah, and by "what you and I would have done in that situation", I meant to say "the exact opposite of what you and I would have done in that situation." Wrenching the bear's head with one arm, Alchagirov dug in his pocket for a knife, pulled it out, and prepared to face-shank the bear. The bear, prepared for such a move and extraordinarily livid that he was getting his ass kicked by an 80 year-old man, slapped that sh*t right out of the old Shepard's hand, ripped its jaw free, and grabbed the shepherd up in a badass 1000-pound bear hug, lifting Yusuf three feet off the ground. Yusuf Alchagirov, his feet dangling like that dude being choked out by Darth Vader at the beginning of the first Star Wars movie, He HEADBUTTED THE F*CKING BEAR IN THE FACE WITH HIS FOREHEAD. Let's think about this for a moment. Bears have big teeth. Their mouths open wide enough to fit a man's head inside, and their jaws are powerful enough to decapitate you. But this guy smashed the bear so hard in the nose with his head that it not only stunned the bear, it made it drop him. Then he kicked it in the balls. A lot. I am not joking. The two warriors went at it, octogenarian vs. bear, for a few more minutes. The bear, having enough of the headbutting dick-kicking action of Yusuf Alchagirov, suddenly remembered it was a F*CKING BEAR and decided to put an end to this epic battle once and for all. It grabbed the 80 year-old man, lifted him once again, and threw him off a cliff. He plummeted dozens of feet, slammed into the rock below, and fell unconscious. The bear, still seething with fury, dusted himself off and casually walked away in search of other human life to snuff out with his teeth. But Yusuf Alchagirov, bloodied from being punched, clawed, and bitten by a 1,000-pound Brown Bear and then thrown off a cliff, didn't die. He woke up seven hours later, picked himself up, and walked back home. On the way there he found a team of villagers that had been sent to find out why he'd missed dinner. He'd broken four ribs, had a couple bite wounds and bruises, but was otherwise OK. Yeah, he'd lost the fight by TKO, but it was like the Jamaican Bobsled Team of Kicking Bears in the Dick. When he got home his loving wife made him three traditional pies as a "Congratulations for Not Dying" present. He ate them all. Three pies. Because that's how he rolls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted April 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2014 So I was surfing the internet or specifically Youtube and I happened to find this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McwPgig9uH0&list=PLE7266AE338818854 For what it is and the fact that I'm assuming the VAs are first timers, it's a very good dubbing of the comics. And, yes, Peach kicks ass in this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted April 6, 2014 Report Share Posted April 6, 2014 OH MY GOD THAT OLD MAN IS SUCH A BADASS I SERIOUSLY DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE WAS ABLE TO ACTUALLY FIGHT. DOES AGING NOT WORK THE SAME IN RUSSIA? HOW BADASS WOULD HE HAVE BEEN IN HIS PRIME? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted April 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2014 OH MY GOD THAT OLD MAN IS SUCH A BADASS I SERIOUSLY DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW HE WAS ABLE TO ACTUALLY FIGHT. DOES AGING NOT WORK THE SAME IN RUSSIA? HOW BADASS WOULD HE HAVE BEEN IN HIS PRIME? Honestly all I can say is . . . he's from Russia. Russians are well known for being those kind of balls-to-the-f*cking-walls nuts. And if you think HE was insane, this will humble you by letting you know that this dog is thousands of times more badass than you: Sergeant Stubby was a stray, homeless mutt who saved more lives, saw more combat, and performed more badass feats of heroic awesomeness than most people could ever hope to accomplish even WITH the advantage of prehensile thumbs and the ability to utilize 100 percent of their brain power without exploding into a burst of ball lightning. The American version of Voytek the Soldier Bear, this fearless, ass-destroyingly ferocious Pit Bull Terrier started his humble life as most stray animals do – hungry, cold, alone, and stranded in the town of New Haven, Connecticut. Living garbage can to garbage can without so much as a doghouse roof over his head, one day this poor dejected little canine happened to stumble onto the parade ground on the campus of Yale University, where it just so happened that the men of the 102nd Regiment, 26th Infantry Division were training for their eventual deployment to fight in World War I. The so-pathetic-it's-adorable little dog-creature was taken in by a soldier named John Robert Conroy, who named the pup "Stubby" on account of the thing's little stumpy gimp tail (or maybe this is a common trait of pit bull terriers, I have no idea). Conroy started leaving food out and let the little guy sleep in the barracks from time to time, and before long pretty much every dude in the 102nd thought this thing was omg totez adorbs, etc. The dog, for its part, was also like insane-as-hell smart, and I don't mean like, "Oh hey that dog thinks he's people because he sits in an armchair and licks beer coozies" stuff, but more like, "Holy crap balls Lassie's trying to tell us that Little Timmy fell down a well and is being slowly digested by a thousand rabid snakes sent forth from a rift in the Hellmouth," smart. After just a few weeks of hanging around the drill field, watching the soldiers do their thing, this friggin' dog/Battle-Cat hybrid learned the damn bugle calls, could execute the marching maneuvers with the men, and was – I s*** you not – trained to salute superior officers by raising his forepaw to his brow in what I can only imagine was a sight so cripplingly adorable that nowadays it would be an obnoxious, long-running Internet meme on one of these I Can Has Catburger websites. Private Stubby had free reign to drink out of any toilet bowl on the Yale campus during training, and when the order came down for the 102nd to ship out to battle Conroy just stuffed the dog into his greatcoat and smuggled him on board a ship bound for France. Once the transport was under way, Conroy brought the dog out onto the deck, and all the sailors all decided this dog was so totally flippin' sweet that they had a machinists' mate make him a set of dog tags to match the ones worn by the soldiers. When Conroy got a little sloppy and his weirdo covert dog smuggling operation was discovered commanding officer, Conroy gave the order to, "Present Arms," the goddamned dog saluted the commander. The officer was like "WTF ever" and from that point on Stubby was officially allowed to follow Yankee Division out to the battlefront. This is where it gets good. Stubby became the official mascot of the American Expeditionary Force, and did his part to raise morale to the war-weary soldiers on the front lines. Ok, that's great, but during his tour of duty in Europe, Stubby also participated in 17 battles and four major offensives – including the St. Mihel, Meuse-Argonne, Aisne-Marne, and Champagne Marne campaigns. In February 1918, while fighting in a heated sector north of Soissons, Stubby found himself under constant artillery and sniper fire for over a month straight with no respite, responding by howling and barking in "a battle rage" every time gunshots started ringing out. He was wounded in action later that month in a chemical weapons attack, when the Germans launched some mustard gas that poisoned the little dog so hard it nearly died. But this was a badass pit bull, and it would take more than a lung full of poison gas to slow him down. Instead of croaking, Stubby became more hardcore – he'd had his fill of getting the crap kicked out of him by chemical weapons, and thanks to his heightened sense of smell this little bastard could now sniff out mustard gas before it became lethal. From that point on, any time a gas canister exploded near American lines, the friggin' dog would run up and down the trenches barking and biting men until they put their gas masks on, an act that saved countless lives. Once his comrades were properly masked-up, Stubby would run and hide until the gas cloud cleared (because this was back in the days before they'd invented doggy chemical warfare hoods). Well when this tiny tornado of life-saving awesomeness wasn't, you know, saving the lives of thousands of American soldiers by alerting them to imminent peril by land or by air, Stubby the Combat Canine spent a lot of his free time running around through No Man's Land looking for wounded and dying Allied soldiers to rescue. According to first-hand accounts, this dog could hear English being spoken (like, no s***, he could allegedly differentiate English from German), and he'd immediately run over and check out the wounded man. If the dude was able to walk, Stubby would lead him back to friendly lines. If the guy was too jacked up to move, Stubby would stand there and bark until a medic arrived. Are you kidding me with this? Stubby the War Dog was wounded in combat in April 1918, when he was hit with a German hand grenade while participating in the assault on the German town of Schieprey (now there's a sentence I never thought I'd write). Despite receiving shrapnel wounds to his forelimbs and chest, Stubby survived the grenade blast, lived through some emergency surgery, and spent his convalescence time cheering up the wounded men in the field hospital. He returned to action a few months later and helped participate in the liberation of Chateau Thierry, a deed that got the French babes living in the city so pumped up that they made him a chamois blanked decorated with the flags of the Allied countries to thank him. The men of the 102nd, for their part, made Stubby a jacket designed to look like an American military uniform, and then they decorated it with Stubby's name, rank, and medals – medals that included the Purple Heart, the Republic of France Grande War Medal, the Medal of Verdun, and medals for every campaign in which he'd served. But this thing wasn't done yet. While serving in the Argonne Forest during the Meuse-Argonne campaign of September 1918, Stubby was patrolling the trenches when he discovered a camouflaged German spy hiding out mapping the Allied trenches. Stubby smelled the Kraut on this dude and started freaking the hell out, woofing at this dude like a damned psychotic bark machine, and nothing this poor chump could do to stop Stubby from freaking out on him. Finally, convinced that he wasn't going to shut the damn dog up, the German turned and ran for it. That was just the opportunity Stubby was looking for. The dog hauled ass, ran this guy down from behind, launched itself like a hair-covered missile, and bit into his calf, dropping the spy to the ground. Then Stubby bit the dude on the ass and locked his jaws shut, refusing to give this dude his ass back (or let him move in any way at all) until Americans showed up to arrest him. For his actions, Stubby the Ass-Biting Maniac Dog was given a battlefield promotion to the rank of Sergeant, which, awesomely enough, meant that the dog now outranked his owner, who was only a Corporal by this point. Stubby became the first dog to be promoted to a rank the army, and, as a b****in' side note, when the Americans brought the German spy back to camp they stripped the prisoner of his Iron Cross and pinned the German military medal on the dog's jacket instead. After the war, Sergeant Stubby was smuggled back to the states, where he was an instant celebrity. He inducted into the American Legion, offered free food for life from the YMCA, and whenever he went out of war bonds promotion tours five-star hotels would relax their "no dogs allowed" policy for the canine war hero. He went to the White House twice, met three presidents, and in 1921 the American overall commander "Black Jack" Pershing personally pinned a one-of-a-kind "Dog Hero Gold Medal" on Stubby's military jacket. When Robert Conroy ended up attending Georgetown University for law school after the war, Sergeant Stubby went with him. The dog immediately became the official mascot of the football team – and to this day the University sports mascot is still a dog (though it think it's a bulldog these days). In addition to hanging out with the players and looking up cheerleaders' skirts (maybe), it eventually became tradition to bring Stubby out on the field during Halftime of football games and he'd pump the crowd up by running around the field pushing the ball around with his nose. Nobody had really done anything like this before, meaning that in a weird-as-hell Forrest Gump-like twist, Sergeant Stubby might have possibly invented the Halftime Show. Seriously. Sergeant Stubby, American war hero dog, died in 1926, at the (approximate) age of ten. Nowadays his taxidermized corpse is featured with its own exhibit at the Smithsonian's Museum of American History, which is simultaneously creepy, awesome, and the sort of thing that every man and animal in the country should aspire to. In addition to providing early warning for chemical attacks, Stubby could also use his supersonic dog-hearing to detect artillery fire before the shells started exploding – a trait that earned him the gratitude of many men who probably would have been blown the hell up if it wasn't for this little guy's warnings. As if it wasn't awesome enough that he had some Peter Parker-style spider sense for incoming warheads, Stubby could sense German ground attacks – as soon as the Huns would go over the top, Stubby would sniff the bratwurst coming and run over and bite the nearest American sentry until that guy got off his ass and sounded the alarm. It didn't take long for the doughboys to learn that if the dog started going apeshit it was time to hit the deck, and from that point on the American trenches started to resemble the post-apocalyptic future scene from Terminator 2 where the humans used psycho dogs to let them know when Terminators were heading their way. Oh s***, I just remembered Arnold is Austrian, so that analogy has a whole other layer to it that I didn't intend when I originally wrote it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted April 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2014 And you know what? [spoiler=Just for Broken] There is a dark and foreboding place where few men dare tread, and where those who do tread speak with indecipherable accents. A place that will rape your Christian soul and be left unquenched, sitting there silently... taunting your soul's now-swollen assh*le with its maddening silence - where is your God now?! There's no way that such a hellish, fiendish nexus of putrid rot and agony could exist! Well, it does, and that place is none other than the continent of Australia. But Australia, some say? Not the home of Kangaroos and Crocodile Dundee! Not the merry, magical land of Fosters beer fountains, Koalas, and effeminate metrosexual fashion that would make Brad Pitt blush. Thou foul. Thou art deceived by wicked, impure forces! Thou art seduced by dark conjurers whose words are as laced with poison as your beloved Koala's eucalyptus leaves. The creation of the Outback. Australia is a terrible place that leaves none but the strongest (or the gayest, for some peculiar reason) alive. Why else would the British have designated the entire continent as a PRISON COLONY for the worst scum of the earth Britain had to offer? Now granted, the British are prudes, and their idea of a rapscallion (or whatever the f*ck those pussy-ass redcoats call it) probably just meant somebody who didn't butter his crumpet right, or whose grammar didn't sexually arouse the Queen enough. But still - the fact that this land was designated as a death trap so that foppish aristocrats could go back to their polo games in peace says something about the assumed lethality of this place. And that lethality is more than just an assumption. Out of the intelligently-designed cruelty of some c*ck-sucking assh*le of a God, or just dumb luck, Australia has the largest concentration of venomous, aggressive, and black-hearted creatures on Earth. The Box Jellyfish, the most ruthless, terrifying, and pants-sh*ttingly evil killer of men (some people die as soon as 4 minutes after being stung) - lives off the shore. The Sydney Funnel Web Spider, whose bite can cause PERMANENT open sores if it doesn't just kill you outright, and whose temperment - unlike most cowardly spiders - actually compels them to actively pursue you and repeatedly bite you - calls Australia its home. The Australian Death Adder... well, sh*t, why do you think they named it that? The Saltwater Crocodile, none other than the LARGEST REPTILE ON EARTH, guess where he dwells? If you're bold enough about water to still take baths, I doubt that smug look of non-terror on your face would remain if you knew that the horror that is the Blue-Ringed Octopus frequents all coasts around the continent; the LD-50 of its venom (as in, the amount of the substance that will kill 50% of the test subjects) is so high that a single dose is enough to kill 20 f*cking grown men. The Australian Jumper Ant - responsible for over 90% of Australia's emergency anaphylactic shock cases - is so sadistic and predatory that it actually has been known to wait on tree branches to ambush people below! Even the plants are f*cked up in Australia. Known only as "The Stinging Tree," this spawn of Satan looks deceptively innocuous. It's a mild-mannered-looking thing that's merely covered with tiny hairs. But the slightest touch of those hairs has been known to instantly kill rodents within a day, paralyze dingos and dogs, and cause excruciating pain (and yes, even death) to humans. I mean f*ck, seeding the land with enormous reptilian carnivores and holocaustic insects is bad enough. But disguising certain agony and death as a little tree is truly a hallmark trait of sociopathic genius. Then there's the Platypus. He deserves his own paragraph because of how much of a deceiver he is. He lulls you into complacency because his neurotoxic spurs don't directly kill humans most of the time. Don't be fooled; you'd beg for death. All human victims of Platypus stings suffer immediate hyperalgesia (clinical hypersensitivity to any sensation of pain) for weeks or even months after the sting! That's Australia's way of saying "don't f*ck with me, assh*le, or I'll send a Salt Water Crocodile to f*ck you up and shove Box Jellyfish up your urethra while force-feeding your wife eucalyptus leaves. That'll teach you not to use the word "crikey" in a pejorative context. F*ck-ass." Australia is a psychotic, cold-blooded murderer that would swallow you whole if you so much as left the front door of your house (and this is assuming that your Sydney Funnel Web barricades are in working order). Whoever thought up the concept of Australia was inflicted with the madness of Nietzsche and the megalomania of Qin Shi Huangdi. And you know what? Genocidal, rampaging hellholes bent on exterminating all life on Earth are truly badass. "I swallowed your God." [/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Warden Posted April 6, 2014 Report Share Posted April 6, 2014 Yeah, that's pretty much it; except, they forgot how red-back spiders like to hide in toilets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted April 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2014 Yeah, that's pretty much it; except, they forgot how red-back spiders like to hide in toilets I doubt the original author ever actually went to Australia for long enough to learn that lovely little fact. But are you serious? I mean, seriously, they actually f*cking do that!? D*mn Australia you are crazy! (O_e) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desu the Blue Nerd Posted April 6, 2014 Report Share Posted April 6, 2014 Where's the Desu fanservice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Headmaster Monokuma Posted April 6, 2014 Report Share Posted April 6, 2014 Where's the Desu fanservice? Hiding up Jake's ass I would imagine. That or he just doesn't love you the way he used to Desu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted April 6, 2014 Report Share Posted April 6, 2014 Yeah, that's pretty much it; except, they forgot how red-back spiders like to hide in toilets Literally Mordor sounds like the fucking French Riviera at this point what the actual fuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted April 6, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2014 Where's the Desu fanservice? You get no fan service. >> << I wouldn't even know what to do if I was so inclined. I DID ask you for assistance so maybe that? Oh well . . . ummm . . . . has anyone seen the new Captain America movie? The local fair is in town. Anyone have good fair stories they'd like to share? You're so out of topics right now. Yup *nods* EDIT: I'd seriously reply to Dane if he was worth it. Though to be fair Dane, either add something meaningful to the discussion or don't comment. Literally Mordor sounds like the f***ing French Riviera at this point what the actual f*** Funny you should say that. The article DID have the Australian flag with Mordor's eye photoshopped in it (XD) See? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lt. Colonel Remo Posted April 6, 2014 Report Share Posted April 6, 2014 Though to be fair Dane, either add something meaningful to the discussion or don't comment. Well if this is the rule this club might as well just lock up now #REKT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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