Super Chaos Sonic Posted June 27, 2013 Report Share Posted June 27, 2013 Just for reference, the clam was HIS idea. In fact, most of the heist stuff is his idea just like most of the case is mine. For future reference by the way Broken, the heist and case always happen at the same time, hence why some parts merge. One isn't meant to be read before the other like in most books, you can read one, or both sections in any order you choose. You can completely ignore Spectre Scourge and his "Vongola" and focus on the Detective or vice versa. Honestly, we're doing more out of boredom than anything. In hindsight though, I should've avoided letting him use the clam...too late now though. It was..._-_ Sorry once again Creator for saying it was your idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mugendramon Posted June 27, 2013 Report Share Posted June 27, 2013 you can read one, or both sections in any order you choose. I disagree, if you bothered to read my bit of the review: The Case mentions Sonic having the gem like the reader was to be perfectly aware that Sonic was there, but we had no idea Sonic was with them unless we'd read the Heist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Warden Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Exactly, and I am perfectly aware the Heist was Sonic's part, I said so in my analysis. Also, I found Sceptre Scourge to actually be the only interesting part in the entire fic, why would I ignore him? And dear sweet lord why would I WANT to focus on Aito. He makes my skin crawl with how annoying he is, and how annoying Enzax will most likely end up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Well, considering my dislike for any mystery that isn't Sherlock Holmes or a horror from Stephen King, Enzax being annoying as all hell is probably intentional on some sub-conscious level. By all means, focus on just the Heist, it's your choice. @Mugen A writing oversight then, I'll be sure to double check the PoVs next time before posting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Warden Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Oh god no, as far as I'M concerned, I'm done with TES *drops mic and walks off* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Well, things that go from idea to a chapter in the span of 6 hours probably don't amount to very good things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Warden Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 No, they really don't. And nor does it aid the reader when there aren't any divisions between the scenes. Tis a lovely thing to be reading one paragaph, then suddenly you timeskipped 3 days later with absolutely no signs you did so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Yes, a valid point, I didn't think that it would be that big of a deal. I'll take it into account I use a timeskip. You know, all of this stated plainly is much better than trying to decipher a bunch of, to be honest, fairly good jokes at our expense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Warden Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 That's why I have the analysis, to explain what you did wrong plainly. I may not get everything, but I do try to stomp out the bigger of the turds. Granted, I DID state plainly that the timeskip was half-assed and not even given a decent division. You can find said comment after the 3 day skip that happened right out of left field. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Oh, I'm aware, and I took it into account then as well. I'm saying that in case you had more help to give. Because avoiding the repetition of mistakes is something I really like to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mugendramon Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Well, considering my dislike for any mystery that isn't Sherlock Holmes or a horror from Stephen King, Enzax being annoying as all hell is probably intentional on some sub-conscious level. Does this also answer to the fact that Aito was the only one to get anything right at the investigation, even to the point of having your cop dismiss potential evidence? I know the genre requires a degree of police ineptitude for the detective to shine, but some things just stick out a lot. Also the whole "Moderator Force" operating in Clubs and Organizations is led by a CC Mod. That confused me a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Honestly, you'd be surprised by how often real police dismiss evidence like that. That aside though, I'm not entirely sure how inept the fictional police in the stories are, so I'll attribute that to inexperience in the genre. Black is a good friend, and I don't really know any of the C&O Mods aside from Flame Dragon, and I hadn't really thought of a good name to play Flame Dragon off. Black is a very simple name to work with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mugendramon Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 You see, I'm one of them. It's just what I meant by doing your homework: Before writing things and making up the plot, it's a good idea to make sure you're talking about the right things. That's an especially delicate matter when you're making an Alternate Universe out of something. Just as an example, if you look at the bottom of any of the forums, you can see who their Moderators are. It's a bit outdated, but can still get a name or two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Noted. I didn't mean to offend if you are offended, I simply went with what I knew. and yes, I understand the importance of homework, again we did this upon a whim. Also I didn't know that you could find the fourm mods on the bottom of the fourms. Then again, I usually just use my bookmarks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted June 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Vongola in Italian means Clam. I own the Vongola HQ here on YCM. Creator suggested clam, with the Vongola thing. Sorry Sonic but in no way did I connect clam to Vongola. All I thought was, "why the hell is there a clam being left?" I didn't even think of vaginas or anything else. Just . . . wondered why there was a clam. So SoP was a freedom-based RP? I remember Akatsuki's: the Hidden Base. Had no plot and everyone was kinda doing their own thing, which made a huge mess of things. But it was still fun picking fights and screwing around in character. You could even do things on your own for character development or have your own training arc. But it was also a major amateur operation, so someone running one would need to do a good job in reining everyone in with reasonable limits. Well Fusion basically, like I told Mugen, the role players will be basically free to do what they want but will have to get to the "Goal Points" I set for them. How is up to them and the reactions will be in response to their methods. So if they manage to sneak in somewhere, the enemy will be less prepared then if they had just ran in yelling and screaming and using their powers at will. Hey I just remembered! I was in Struggle of Powers!! Yes, yes you where. So was I . . . Didn't you die though? Yup (>>) Honestly, you'd be surprised by how often real police dismiss evidence like that. That aside though, I'm not entirely sure how inept the fictional police in the stories are, so I'll attribute that to inexperience in the genre. Black is a good friend, and I don't really know any of the C&O Mods aside from Flame Dragon, and I hadn't really thought of a good name to play Flame Dragon off. Black is a very simple name to work with. I'd say you're wrong Creator but I've watched enough Investigation Discovery, if that is to be trusted, and 48 Hours to know better. I've seen cases which the police obviously overlooked the, well, obvious. Though to me I think the Mods do a good job, at least in my story they are. Actually, now that I think about it, the Mods are doing exceptionally well. Wiseman was defeated by a combination of DEF and Mod power Glitch was defeated by the children Striker was just plain trounced by the Mods So . . . yeah, they've done well enough that most vigilante groups are no longer active- the Fake Type Knights are the only ones left still operating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mugendramon Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Though to me I think the Mods do a good job, at least in my story they are. Actually, now that I think about it, the Mods are doing exceptionally well. Wiseman was defeated by a combination of DEF and Mod power Glitch was defeated by the children Striker was just plain trounced by the Mods So . . . yeah, they've done well enough that most vigilante groups are no longer active- the Fake Type Knights are the only ones left still operating. ...What story would you be talking about? DEF II? Or is this some sort of random unnamed "History of YCM" thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Well of course, the Fake Type Knights will never surrender. Even if you think we're done, we are still hard at work doing whatever we want. I'd honestly be surprised if you wrote in the total destruction of the FTK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted June 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 ...What story would you be talking about? DEF II? Or is this some sort of random unnamed "History of YCM" thing? DEF II Well of course, the Fake Type Knights will never surrender. Even if you think we're done, we are still hard at work doing whatever we want. I'd honestly be surprised if you wrote in the total destruction of the FTK. Nope they're still around. Oh wait! I just remembered Rachel and Lyn's "Daughters of Darkness" which is kind of short of a vigilante group. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Okay, that one was pretty clever. Rachel and Lyn, Enzax's daughters, who happens to be me, TheCreator, Darkness Incarnate. I guess they didn't want to be associated with Daddy's old group so they went and made their own? More importantly, when are we going to actually get full blown chapters from you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mugendramon Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Okay, that one was pretty clever. Rachel and Lyn, Enzax's daughters, who happens to be me, TheCreator, Darkness Incarnate. I guess they didn't want to be associated with Daddy's old group so they went and made their own? More importantly, when are we going to actually get full blown chapters from you? To be honest I don't think we'll get those until Broken moves from the forum. Considering what happened when we got so much as an excerpt of it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted June 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Okay, that one was pretty clever. Rachel and Lyn, Enzax's daughters, who happens to be me, TheCreator, Darkness Incarnate. I guess they didn't want to be associated with Daddy's old group so they went and made their own? More importantly, when are we going to actually get full blown chapters from you? *facepalm* You just ruined a good surprise to most people on who their father actually is. Thank you . . . thank you for ruining it (=3=) But once I get a full "season" I will begin posting it. To be honest I don't think we'll get those until Broken moves from the forum. Considering what happened when we got so much as an extract of it... Honestly, Broken being here isn't going to affect it. I just hope I'll get a fair review from him with not so much bias. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thar Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 To be honest I don't think we'll get those until Broken moves from the forum. Considering what happened when we got so much as an extract of it... Why should that be a reason NOT to, though? I mean, Broken has his own thing going, and with that we'd have the long-awaited chapter to read AND a hilarious break-down of it. Consider it a new video game release that has a lot of hype, and when you finish the main story, there's a bunch of Easter Eggs to look for that you could've missed, and you think, "Oh wow, how could I have missed that?" or "Ah, so I guess that area was significant after all." The only difference, really, is that we're not paying $60 for it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake the Sage Posted June 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Why should that be a reason NOT to, though? I mean, Broken has his own thing going, and with that we'd have the long-awaited chapter to read AND a hilarious break-down of it. Consider it a new video game release that has a lot of hype, and when you finish the main story, there's a bunch of Easter Eggs to look for that you could've missed, and you think, "Oh wow, how could I have missed that?" or "Ah, so I guess that area was significant after all." The only difference, really, is that we're not paying $60 for it... Okay . . . no pressure, sure (XD) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sploda Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Jake, anyone who read the original DEF kinda already knew who they were. You surprise no one except maybe thar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thar Posted June 28, 2013 Report Share Posted June 28, 2013 Jake, anyone who read the original DEF kinda already knew who they were. You surprise no one except maybe thar. I wouldn't say surprised, considering I'm not the least curious about them anyway. Heck, there wasn't even the slightest segue leading to it at any point that I remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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