Organized Chaos Posted April 5, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2012 [quote name='evilsoul' timestamp='1333652199' post='5902755'] i could suggest you could put in more of the mods and have them on a misson to get rid of spambots [/quote] I could but I would need some kind of assistance because I write everything quite badly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hydra of Ages Posted April 5, 2012 Report Share Posted April 5, 2012 [quote name='NotSoSlenderMan' timestamp='1333651560' post='5902742'] Thank you for that review. I am going to give up with this Fic now. The evidence always point against me, I am bad at writing. I won't argue, I just wanted to toy with it if you will. So I'll stop. Thanks again for putting me to my senses. [/quote] You are aware that the point of critique is to improve people's skills, correct? If I wanted everyone mediocre at writing to stop trying, I'd lock most of this forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astolfo Posted April 5, 2012 Report Share Posted April 5, 2012 [quote name='Hydra of Clocks' timestamp='1333654392' post='5902794'] You are aware that the point of critique is to improve people's skills, correct? If I wanted everyone mediocre at writing to stop trying, I'd lock most of this forum. [/quote] [color=#000066][b]Any chance I could be an important character? Either side? Also, there was some missing words/spaces and such in the 2nd chapter. Dun feel like finding them though. Seems cool though. Pretty interesting. Also, you're putting all mods as antagonists? What about the good mods?[/b][/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vairocana Posted April 5, 2012 Report Share Posted April 5, 2012 [quote name='NotSoSlenderMan' timestamp='1333651560' post='5902742'] Thank you for that review. I am going to give up with this Fic now. The evidence always point against me, I am bad at writing. I won't argue, I just wanted to toy with it if you will. So I'll stop. Thanks again for putting me to my senses. [/quote] To clarify, when I said "Crab is more likely to be offended by poor writing," it wasn't directed specifically at you, but in general. And you should write for yourself, not for the opinion of others. There are always going to be people who hate your stuff, and people who like your stuff. If you write things that please you, at least you know there's one person out there who likes it, and that should be enough. Don't let other people's opinions run your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hydra of Ages Posted April 6, 2012 Report Share Posted April 6, 2012 [quote name='Vairocana' timestamp='1333661865' post='5902970'] To clarify, when I said "Crab is more likely to be offended by poor writing," it wasn't directed specifically at you, but in general. And you should write for yourself, not for the opinion of others. There are always going to be people who hate your stuff, and people who like your stuff. If you write things that please you, at least you know there's one person out there who likes it, and that should be enough. Don't let other people's opinions run your life. [/quote] That said, don't immediately ignore critique either. It's a balancing act; on one hand, you need to have faith in your own ability to write- but on the other, you need to be willing to change and improve it at any given time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Organized Chaos Posted April 6, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 6, 2012 I guess I did overreact. It's just I'm quite good at writing (mainly horror) but I struggle with basing stories around actual people that I hardly know and basing stories on cardgame forums. I might continue but I am trying to write other stuff at the mo' so I might do one more then call it quits. If there is more, there will be good Mods and members against the rebellion. Sorry again for overeacting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrystalCyae Posted April 7, 2012 Report Share Posted April 7, 2012 I have an idea You say that you have issues basing characters around actual people you hardly know. Perhaps you take the idea, but apply it to characters that have been created in the figment of your imagination. Thus, your writing becomes better in your opinion, and everyone in happy [s]and no-one gets insulted if you portray them incorrectly[/s] Just my two cents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ListenToLife Posted April 7, 2012 Report Share Posted April 7, 2012 The first chapter got me excited. It kind of went downhill though. First, you introduced Rodrigo and made him seem important. Then you killed him off within the same chapter. Not a good Idea. 2nd, there are quite a few errors in a lot of things, for example that britain doesn't have cloudy night often, when in fact it is the exact opposite(We rarely have a clear night. Or day, for that matter.) 3rd, listen to peoples advise. You said you accepted critiscism, and yet, as soon as people critiscise you, you give up? Not good. Not good at all. There are other things, but I'm pretty sure they have/will be highlighted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Organized Chaos Posted April 8, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2012 [quote name='KCNameless' timestamp='1333834082' post='5905461'] The first chapter got me excited. It kind of went downhill though. First, you introduced Rodrigo and made him seem important. Then you killed him off within the same chapter. Not a good Idea. 2nd, there are quite a few errors in a lot of things, for example that britain doesn't have cloudy night often, when in fact it is the exact opposite(We rarely have a clear night. Or day, for that matter.) 3rd, listen to peoples advise. You said you accepted critiscism, and yet, as soon as people critiscise you, you give up? Not good. Not good at all. There are other things, but I'm pretty sure they have/will be highlighted. [/quote] You know everyone else at lest held back a bit, gave honest and helpful critique but no, you throw that out the window. Learn some manners and maybe explain what you found wrong. I do live in Britain and I don't get many cloudy nights (it depends on what region you're in) and even if not, I was using it for a plot effect. Thanks for the critique but I think you're doing it to take the piss now. To those who are still reading, I'm doing the next chapter. It's on how Mage actually got on this site so if anyone could give me a small history on what he did here (I only know the events of near the end of his reign to his banning) or else I'll have to improvise. Hoping to link it to main plot but high chance it won't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherz Posted April 8, 2012 Report Share Posted April 8, 2012 Cherry has Idea. Nobody like cherry grammar. Make for guud chapter 3. You can just ask people for help in pms and stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ListenToLife Posted April 8, 2012 Report Share Posted April 8, 2012 [quote name='NotSoSlenderMan' timestamp='1333846568' post='5905705'] You know everyone else at lest held back a bit, gave honest and helpful critique but no, you throw that out the window. Learn some manners and maybe explain what you found wrong. I do live in Britain and I don't get many cloudy nights (it depends on what region you're in) and even if not, I was using it for a plot effect. Thanks for the critique but I think you're doing it to take the piss now. To those who are still reading, I'm doing the next chapter. It's on how Mage actually got on this site so if anyone could give me a small history on what he did here (I only know the events of near the end of his reign to his banning) or else I'll have to improvise. Hoping to link it to main plot but high chance it won't. [/quote] I apologise if I was rude and inconsiderate. I admit I'm usually a little blunt. I'm just slightly disappointed is all. The first chapter seemed extremely good, and I just dont think the second one lived up to it. I'm really sorry if you took insult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted April 8, 2012 Report Share Posted April 8, 2012 And to throw more wood onto the fire, if you give this thing up I'll be sad that yet another attempt at novelizing the travesty that are the YCM forums got cut short. Again. Besides, the more you write, the better your writing will become. Now, to actual criticism. The second paragraph's random foray into exposition feels incredibly forced. It's like we're getting to know the character and then oh here's some random shit that you should know that's important just because I say so. Scattering details about the Purge itself would be a lot easier to read than just dumping it all at once. Other than that, my main criticisms have already been stated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 Maybe people have been slightly too hard on you. The writing's a bit sloppy, but definitely above average, and there's talent and plenty of potential. Besides, because the story's so off the wall, I don't mind if it's not so tightly written. The biggest thing to fix would probably be the scenes with PikaNinja01. Her gender flips multiple times not just in the same paragraph, but the same sentence. Which, now that I think of it, could be worked into some kind of "there are no girls on the internet" meta-humor, but I don't think that's what you were going for. On an unrelated note, every time somebody writes a forum fic, it makes me wish I was important enough to be in them... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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