Kōsuke Ueki Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Speaking of Shio, I never got to see how he looked when you drew him Fry. Don't hold out on us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frybread002 Posted May 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 No Tsa, It's not because I'm holding out. It's because your lazy ass wasn't paying attention when I posted it on the OOC thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Well its in Fry's deviantart account.....the boy in the stars...I believe he called it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kōsuke Ueki Posted May 23, 2012 Report Share Posted May 23, 2012 Jeez, Fry. You in a bad mood or something. Just post the link of your DeviantArt page on the first post, then I can stay up to date with your pics. Also, if you call me lazy one more time, I will rip your lungs out through your ASS!! YOU FEEL ME!?! JK lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frybread002 Posted May 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 Rip my lungs out my ass!? Bahahaha!!! I'm just gonna feel sorry for the crap you'll be going through just to reach my ass! As for the drawing, the pencilin is done, but I'll upload it tommorow. As I'm doing another drawing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frybread002 Posted May 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 [indent=1]Alright Chaos, here's the link to my dA page and to Ryuusaki's character design. However, I should tell you, I only got his suit of armor done, as I was busy with another drawing I was doing.[/indent] [indent=1]As soon as you approve or decline the drawing, I need to know the color schemes of his suit.[/indent] [indent=1][url="http://apacheburger002.deviantart.com/art/Armor-Suit-Rough-Draft-304078128"]http://apacheburger002.deviantart.com/art/Armor-Suit-Rough-Draft-304078128[/url][/indent] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 A bit of Ventus/Terra armor added with the Heartless emblem....GENIUS!!! If no one likes it...I do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frybread002 Posted May 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 Really...Ventus!?!? I can see Terra, but not Ventus...Hmm...I guess I like Birth By Sleep a lot more than I did... Anyhow, the next thing I need to know are the color schemes. Right now, I already have my own ideas flying around, but this is your drawing and your opinions come first. So what do you want on him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 Its the helmet. I can see a bit of Terra and Ventus in the helmet...^^; Anyway for the color scheme.... Well I'm not exactly sure myself. So, knock yourself out with whatever colors you can think of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frybread002 Posted May 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 Before I start on your drawing Chaos, I just want to make an annoucement to everyone: Do you guys recall the Heartless in the role-play? More specifically, I am talking about the ones who were based off the Seven Deadly sins. Well after going through some Demonology research (and with Tsa and his Christain background), what if we made a stronger emphasize on two specific Heartless. Behemoth and an new heartless based on Leviathan. Here are the wikipedia links to two the demons I want to based them off of: -Behemoth [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behemoth"]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behemoth[/url] -Leviathan [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leviathan"]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leviathan[/url] P.S. I know said we would start writing the story yesterday, be I'm going to post-pone that until next week. As I finally figured out how to tell the Heartless story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kōsuke Ueki Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 So wait, what section of Behemoth and Leviathan are you gonna try and emphasize more on? Will it be the Christian belief of it, or something else? You weren't being specific on what you were going to emphasize on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ListenToLife Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 Well, Behemoth and Leviathan were part of the Seven lords of hell. That could work. Except Leviathan is Envy. So if we keep my Invidia, it's a choice. EDIT Actually, we could do something different. How about these monsters are the ultimate forms of each of the 7 Heartless. The Behemoth was summoned, but the guy who summoned it(Cant remember who it was) is really the Behemoth himself. That then makes the woman Invidia Leviathan. Would that work? Or you can just scrap my character. She wasn't that important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frybread002 Posted May 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 I love your idea Weird Guy!!!! Lets go for it! Chaos, how would you feel if Ryuusaki was in charge of the Wyvern class of Heartless? After going through some pics online for a color scheme, I'm really digging the idea of him flying and all that stuff.P.S. We're keeping Selina whether you like it or not. P.P.S. Speaking of her, would you want me to do an drawing of her as well? Cuz I really don't mind doing one. If that's the case, would you want me to do something different with her design? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 Commanding the Wyvern Heartless.... BRILLIANT! But just an observation...isn't Behemoth already a Heartless?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frybread002 Posted May 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Uhhhh...we'll workout the details later on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ListenToLife Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 There is a class of heartless called Behemoth, but they were never as big as the one described in the RP. So whatever-his-name-is could be the 'true' Behemoth. And I'm not so bothered about the appearence of Selina. Something snake-like would fit. Make it fit the personality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frybread002 Posted May 31, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 Alright Chaos, choose which design you want. Here's the link to my dA page. [url="http://apacheburger002.deviantart.com/"]http://apacheburger002.deviantart.com/[/url] On a side note, I'm still uploading the rest of my drawings, so I'll bring in more note worthy material to discuss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 Frist off..Ryuusaki's rough draft is great! Almost makes me think of Ed Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist. Either green or red armor would be awesome! I can't choose myself ^^; someone else choose for me and Fry. As for your other drawings...I'm really impressed ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kōsuke Ueki Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 Who said you can't have both? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 Cause....actually I dunno. Its just really hard to decide between the two. The green is cool looking, and the red looks pretty sweet...a great artist and I can't choose between the two. So someone else, please choose between the two...cause either way, Ryuusaki wins ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frybread002 Posted June 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 Okay guys, I'm going to go out on a limb and agree with Chaos here: I want someone to pick the color schemes for us. Personally, I do like the green version a lot better, but my only problem is that it's not the Heartless colors. As for the red, it's way too bland for my tastes. Like there's something very wrong with it, but the problem is I can't find anything wrong with it. That being said, I really don't mind if somebody wants to printout a copy of my drawing, color it themselves and upload it. As for your statement Tsa, the problem with that, is that I follow the most basic question that Masashi Kishimoto (creator of Naruto) once asked himself: "Am I really going to be able to draw such a fussy, complicated character over and over, panel after panel, and issue after issue, weekin in and week out?" The huge problem I had with the suit of armor, was just how time consuming it was. Don't get me wrong, the drawing was pretty fun and easy, but it took me awhile to draw. As for coloring, I really like to take my time with the details and that tends to add 4 hours to the entire thing. So I only want 1 specific color scheme for the suit of armor. So far, I was pretty lucky to turn out Ryuusaki's armor all in one go, but when it comes to coloring, I like to take pride in my work and make sure it all comes smoothly. In this case, there are a bunch of different ideas floating around in my head, that it's really hard and complicated for me to decide on one thing. That's why I want everyone to go to my dA page, print out the inked in version and just do your own color scheme of it. [Spoiler= [i]The Seven Days[/i]] [Spoiler=Day 1] -[spoiler=Chapter 1] ~Day 5~ [i]"After being here in this 'Place' for 5 days, I came to learn that I'm currently in an town named 'Twilight Town', and if I recall correctly, I was in my home country of Inu, but when that last battle occurred with the enemy country of Ninkai, there was an freak storm, and was followed by these weird 'Shadows'. Next thing I knew, I'm here in 'Twilight Town'." I really don't remember on how I got here, or where I was when it happened. All I can recall is that I was on Inu resting my eyes. When I opened my eyes, the next thing I realized I was in "Twilight Town". Kind of a weird name if you ask me, but if I had to choose a name, I’d suggest something like "Sunset Town" or whatever. As this town would be better known for the beautiful sunsets they have..."[/i] Writing in his journal, there was a young man was sitting on the street within the marketplace of Twilight Town. Within his journal, the young man was writing down every thought and experience he had. [i]"Hehe, I really do enjoy this town. Back in Inu, you would be chased away with a broom for begging on the streets! Not only that, but Twilight Town is really, really clean. Meanwhile, Inu was extremely dirty and it was rare you'll see a flower in the street. But even then, the flower itself was dirty. If anything, what captures me the most, is what's in THE TOWN!! I mean...Well I really can’t explain the right words, but I notice people are just flipping a little switch, and BOOM! A source of light comes in from the ceilings like a light from the heaven itself!! (think it was called a "Light bulb". In Inu, we used lanterns) It's really cool! There are many other things! [/i] [i]Although they're rather hard to explain, the real most useful one that I find helpful, is a little beam of light that comes from this little plastic thing called a "flashlight!" It's really more convenient than a torch. [/i] [i]With a flashlight, you can just point and click the switch, then a light shines in the direction you point it! It takes two other little plastic things that make the flashlight work and is really light and convenient on the go. With a torch, you have to worry about burning yourself, the heat getting to your head, the weight, and the fact that it burns out on you if you use the wrong material. Aside from the technological advances of Twilight Town, I realy like this place. I can literally sleep on the streets, and not worry about a rat getting in my pack and eating my rations!! Hahahaha, of course I won't be sleeping on the streets like I used too back in Inu. If it weren't to Lance and Diego, I wouldn't be able to camp and learn how to hunt. Luckily there's a forest surrounding the town that provides excellent game to hunt and supplies for camping. Although the only bad side I can think of, is the flashlight, is that it doesn't keep me warm like a torch, so I can't rely on it too much..."[/i] ~End~ Finishing his report on his today’s experiences, the young man put a book mark in the page and closed it shut. Sitting on his rear end cross-legged, the young man didn’t bother to heed attention to all the other people walking past him. With all of their shopping needs and other important duties to attend to, the people of Twilight Town didn’t bother with the young man and the young man didn’t bother with him. Instead, the young man only stared at the journal and kept on staring… It was brand new with each page pure white with yellow glossy edges. The perfect definition of a mint-condition book. However the journal itself was completely bland looking. With a beige body and red trimmings, the journal had an empty white space on the front cover that labeled [font=Comic Sans MS]“The Property of Akira Sadisme Runner”[/font] Akira…Sadisme…Runner… Akira… Sadisme… Runner… For what felt like an eternity to him, the young man grabbed his back-pack, opened it, and stuffed his journal back into it’s place. Upon closing his bag, Akira Sadisme Runner, noticed another journal inside his bag and began to stare at it. Unlike his current journal that he bought five days ago…or in more correct terms, the journal he had stolen five days ago, the other journal inside his bag was more elaborately decorated, but in poor condition. With a orange body with red & gold decorations, finished off in black & white trimmings, the upper-center of the journal was a light blue and entitled [font=comic sans ms, cursive]“Property of Akira Runner”[/font] with a little label that said [font=comic sans ms, cursive]“Happy Birthday!! From Hi’hime Kazama[/font]” underneath it. Looking at the two journals, Akira grimaced and began to sulk. When comparing the two books, the brand-new stolen journal was obviously…well, “new” with only five pages written upon. Whereas, the old birthday-gift journal was completely worn out with the spine tearing apart and the pages beginning to yellow. This book further added to Akira’s depression when he noticed that there was a huge chunk of pages missing. In plain truth, ever since the day he had stolen a new journal, Akira began to write down each and every emotion he experienced in the past five days. Every time he put his journal away, he would look at the birthday gift and always fall into some kind of depression. This was something that was never new, but it always felt new to him. The missing pages themselves represented the old memories from his own home world with his own adventures. However, in the weirdest turn of events, he’d became “disconnected” from his world. This resulted in his memories being erased from a lot of major things in his life. For an average 15 year-old, there really is no need to have a lot of experiences. However, Akira was not an “average” 15 year-old as his memories were missing in the first place. Whatever the case, the only real thing that Akira wanted was two things: To recover his missing memories and to return home. Whatever in the world that made him beyond “average” was well out of his means of understanding. With his missing memories and all. After a good 5 minutes had pass, the young man Akira regained his senses and finally closed his bag. Attending to all of the difficulties around him and began to make preparations for his next meal… [font=comic sans ms, cursive]"Oh! Thank you sir."[/font] Replied Akira, a young man who was living off the streets in Twilight Town and had to start begging people in order to have the money for his next meal. Unlike the other beggars in the same district as him, Akira knew how to play the crowd and get easy money. This resulted in fierce competition among the other homeless people and sometimes, brutal gang-wars were fought…But instead of shanks, illegal weapons, and a shady source of income such as drug-deals, these gang-wars were just turf-wars between homeless people who simply wanted a particular street because they had more sympathetic people willing to give them money… Fortunately for our hero(?), Akira had one ace up his sleeve: Back on his home world of Inu, Akira lived as a beggar and was homeless himself. This resulted in his artistic skills of thievery, free-running, a negative attitude on life of a delinquent, and the valuable skill of vanishing from “unwanted” people. However, there was also an unexpected side to him: Humility. While living on the streets, he had no real parents or caretakers to teach him from right from wrong. Being a delinquent, Akira eventually found a single friend that became his family. This new-found family later encouraged him to join the military at the age of 12 and educate him further. Through this process, he met two other kids his age and had similar problems such as him. This caused his family to get even bigger. With a equal sense of seeing how life is never fair and the knowledge of how moving past your problems with your head high, had equipped Akira with much wisdom. Not only that, but most of these gang/turf-wars were generally fought with slanderous words. So Akira had a easy time running away and coming back later to start begging. With stranger after stranger walking up to him, and dropping coins in his little makeshift bag, Akira kept responding with quotes like [font=comic sans ms, cursive]"Your donation is greatly appreciated!”[/font] or [font=comic sans ms, cursive]“Thank you Ma'am!”[/font] Whatever the case, this was his daily life for the past five days. With the daylight finally ending, Akira began to pack up his belonging, gather up all of the money gave him, went to the nearest food stand, purchased some meat and walked off towards the forest where he made camp. Walking down some alleyways and making more turns, the walk to the forest from the marketplace was about a mile away and this left Akira with a lot of time to think of various. Among these thoughts, the most haunting revelation that Akira may not ever go home was bugging him for the longest of time. In the past five days, he had spent every waking hour making great trips all over Twilight Town to find a road home. When that failed, he began taking extraordinary hiking adventures across the mountain side of Twilight Town, but failed. Next, he began mapping the extensive forests that surrounded Twilight Town in order to find a trial began to Inu’s borders. Naturally that also ended in failure and Akira resorted to a last-ditch effort in using the night time stars. While being extremely skilled in astrology, Akira was unable to determine his position because the stars were apparently “in the wrong place.” Walking down some alleyways and making more turns to reach his camp in the forest, Akira kept thinking of various methods of finding a way home. With the haunting fear that he may never travel back to his beloved Inu. Even with his vast knowledge in numerous fields, the biggest fear that Akira could never realize in a billion years, was that he was on another world. [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 2] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 3] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 4] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 5] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 6] [/spoiler] [/spoiler] [spoiler=Day 2] -[spoiler=Chapter 1] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 2] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 3] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 4] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 5] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 6] [/spoiler] [/spoiler] [spoiler=Day 3] -[spoiler=Chapter 1] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 2] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 3] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 4] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 5] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 6] [/spoiler] [/spoiler] [spoiler=Day 4] -[spoiler=Chapter 1] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 2] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 3] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 4] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 5] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 6] [/spoiler] [/spoiler] [spoiler=Day 5] -[spoiler=Chapter 1] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 2] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 3] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 4] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 5] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 6] [/spoiler] [/spoiler] [spoiler=Day 6] -[spoiler=Chapter 1] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 2] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 3] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 4] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 5] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 6] [/spoiler] [/spoiler] [spoiler=Day 7] -[spoiler=Chapter 1] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 2] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 3] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 4] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 5] [/spoiler] -[spoiler=Chapter 6] [/spoiler] [/spoiler] [/spoiler] As for the Fan-Fic adaptaion itself, I've finally gotten the first chapter all squared away and I would like everyone to read it and give their opinions on it. Once I get everyone's feedback, I will reveal my ideas on how we will write the story. (as of now, the first chapter is "officially" done.) In terms of the story progression, one of the main things that Chaos Sonic and I agreed upon, was that we retell the first Kingdom Hearts game. Of course, to cut down on time and work, we will only be using four worlds for this adaption. Two of those will be created specifically for Akira and Shio in order to highlight them as the "main characters." -Space Paranoids/The Grid/ Tron will be for Akira and it takes place during Kevin Flynn's second attempt at creating The Grid. This is the scene where Akira pretty much recovers his missing memories and everything important about him will be revealed. -Wonderland/Underland (Tim Burton's version) is another world that will be created specifically for Shio. In the words of Chaos, it's basically a watered.shorten-down version of the movie and will heavily involve the Heartless. It is also a possibility that the Ryuusaki (the guy in the armor) character will make his debut. Now we got two extra worlds we can choose from...Unfortunately we can only agree on one world to add in. As another Tim Burton film was shown in the role-play, Halloween Town (The Nightmare Before Christmass). If you guys remember from the role-play, it wasn't until Akira and Shio visited Halloween Town that all of the major events with the new Organization XIII and the Heartless army began to take place. As for the last world to be created, this where we all put our heads together and make something called "magic." To finish this message, I guess you can say that everything that Akira and Shio do, will come first and serve as the plot anchor to keep the readers interest. Halloween Town will be the last world visited by the two Keybladers and everything after that will be the plot-twist and mainly about the new Organization XIII and the Heartless. In short, everything before Halloween Town will be the "original" ideas for the fan-fic, while everything after Halloween Town will be the "adaptations: of the original role-play.. If you guys got any questions, please feel to ask. As I don't want anyone on the team to fall behind. Not only that, but it also took me like 5 hours to type everything down. So the least that everyone can is read everything. Besides, not only am I drawing, but I'm also making sure everything goes pretty smoothly and helping Tsa wtih another project of his. Until Then: Cya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Chaos Sonic Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 Good job on the first chapter, Fry. Cant wait for the next one...I mean however it'll be written. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ListenToLife Posted June 1, 2012 Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 A very impressive chapter Fry! Incredible detail and it really sets the scene well. However, I did notice many grammar and/or spelling mistakes, or placing where sentences or phrases could've been worded better or more effectively. As such, I have appointed myself an Editor. From now I'll proof read what you write, and correct the grammar and spelling(And I shall try to keep away from correcting the English-American differences). I'll not interfere or changing the story or make something different happen, I will merely improve the grammar/spelling and occasionally change the wording of some parts, though the meaning shall remain the same. Any arguments with this? [spoiler=The edited version of Chapter 1] ~Day 5~ [i]"After being here in this 'Place' for 5 days, I came to learn that I'm currently in an town named 'Twilight Town', and if I recall correctly, I was in my home country of Inu, but when that last battle occurred with the enemy country of Ninkai, there was a freak storm, and I was followed by these weird 'Shadows'. Next thing I knew, I'm here in 'Twilight Town'." I really don't remember how I got here, or where I was when it happened. All I can recall is that I was on Inu, resting my eyes, and when I opened my eyes, the next thing I realized I was in "Twilight Town". Kind of a weird name if you ask me, but if I had to choose a name; I’d suggest something like "Sunset Town" or whatever; as this town would be better known for the beautiful sunsets they have..."[/i] Writing in his journal, there was a young man was sitting on the street within the marketplace of Twilight Town. Within his journal, the young man was writing down every thought and experience he had. [i]"Hehe, I really do enjoy this town. Back in Inu, you would be chased away with a broom for begging on the streets! Not only that, but Twilight Town is really, really clean. Meanwhile, Inu was extremely dirty and it was rare you'll see a flower in the street. But even then, the flower itself was dirty. If anything, what captures me the most is what's IN the town!! I mean...Well I really can’t explain the right words, but I notice people are just flipping a little switch, and BOOM! A source of light comes in from the ceilings like a light from the heaven itself!! (Think it was called a "Light bulb". In Inu, we used lanterns) It's really cool! There are many other things! [/i] [i]Although they're rather hard to explain, the real most useful one that I find helpful is a little beam of light that comes from this little plastic thing called a "flashlight!" It's really more convenient than a torch. [/i] [i]With a flashlight, you can just point and click the switch, then a light shines in the direction you point it! It takes two other little plastic things that make the flashlight work and is really light and convenient on the go. With a torch, you have to worry about burning yourself, the heat getting to your head, the weight, and the fact that it burns out on you if you use the wrong material.[/i] [i][i]Aside from the technological advances of Twilight Town, I really like this place. I can literally sleep on the streets, and not worry about a rat getting in my pack and eating my rations!! Hahahaha, of course I won't be sleeping on the streets like I used to back in Inu. If it weren't for Lance and Diego, I wouldn't be able to camp and learn how to hunt. Luckily there's a forest surrounding the town that provides excellent game to hunt and supplies for camping. Although the only bad side I can think of the flashlight is that it doesn't keep me warm like a torch, so I can't rely on it too much..."[/i][/i] ~End~ Finishing his report on his today’s experiences, the young man put a book mark in the page and closed it shut. Sitting on his rear end cross-legged, the young man didn’t bother to heed the attention of all the other people walking past him. With all of their shopping needs and other important duties to attend to, the people of Twilight Town didn’t bother with the young man and the young man didn’t bother with them. Instead, the young man only stared at the journal and kept on staring… It was brand new with each page pure white with yellow glossy edges. The perfect definition of a mint-condition book. However the journal itself was completely bland looking. With a beige body and red trimmings, the journal had an empty white space on the front cover that labelled “The Property of Akira Sadisme Runner” Akira…Sadisme…Runner… Akira… Sadisme… Runner… For what felt like an eternity to him, the young man grabbed his back-pack, opened it, and stuffed his journal back into its place. Upon closing his bag, Akira Sadisme Runner, noticed another journal inside his bag and began to stare at it. Unlike his current journal that he bought five days ago…or in more correct terms, the journal he had stolen five days ago, the other journal inside his bag was more elaborately decorated, but in poor condition. With an orange body with red & gold decorations, finished off in black & white trimmings, the upper-center of the journal was a light blue and entitled “Property of Akira Runner” with a little label that said “Happy Birthday!! From Hi’hime Kazama” underneath it. Looking at the two journals, Akira grimaced and began to sulk. When comparing the two books, the brand-new stolen journal was obviously…well, “new” with only five pages written upon. Whereas, the old birthday-gift journal was completely worn out with the spine tearing apart and the pages beginning to yellow. This book further added to Akira’s depression when he noticed that there was a huge chunk of pages missing. In plain truth, ever since the day he had stolen a new journal, Akira began to write down each and every emotion he experienced in the past five days. Every time he put his journal away, he would look at the birthday gift and always fall into some kind of depression. This was something that was never new, but it always felt new to him. The missing pages themselves represented the old memories from his own home world with his own adventures. However, in the weirdest turn of events, he’d become “disconnected” from his world. This resulted in his memories of a lot of major things in his life being erased. For an average 15 year-old, there really is no need to have a lot of experiences. However, Akira was not an “average” 15 year-old as it was not so much a lack of experience, but a lack of recollection of said experiences. Whatever the case, the only real thing that Akira wanted was two things: To recover his missing memories and to return home. Whatever in the world that made him beyond “average” was well out of his means of understanding. With his missing memories and all. After a good 5 minutes had passed, the young man Akira regained his senses and finally closed his bag. He began attending to all of the difficulties around him and started to make preparations for his next meal… "Oh! Thank you sir." Replied Akira, the young man, who was now living off the streets in Twilight Town and had to start begging to people in order to gain the money he needed for his next meal. Unlike the other beggars in the same district as him, Akira knew how to play the crowd and get easy money. This resulted in fierce competition among the other homeless people and sometimes, brutal gang-wars were fought…But instead of shanks, illegal weapons, and a shady source of income such as drug-deals, these gang-wars were just turf-wars between homeless people who simply wanted a particular street because they had more sympathetic people willing to give them money… Fortunately for our hero (?), Akira had one ace up his sleeve: Back on his home world of Inu, Akira lived as a beggar and had coped with being homeless before. This resulted in his artistic skills of thievery, free-running, the negative attitude of life as a delinquent, and the valuable skill of vanishing from “unwanted” people. However, there was also an unexpected side to him: Humility. While living on the streets, he had no real parents or caretakers to teach him right from wrong. Despite being a delinquent and orphan, Akira eventually found a single friend that became his family. This new-found family later encouraged him to join the military at the age of 12 so as to educate him further. Through this process, he met two other kids his age that were attempting to live with similar problems to him. And through this, his ‘family’ continued to grow. With an equal sense of seeing how life is never fair and the knowledge of how moving past your problems with your head held high, Akira had been equipped with much wisdom. Not only that, but most of these gang/turf-wars were generally fought with slanderous words. So Akira had an easy time running away and coming back later to start begging. With stranger after stranger walking up to him, and dropping coins in his little makeshift bag, Akira kept responding with quotes like "Your donation is greatly appreciated!” or “Thank you Ma'am!” Whatever the case, this was his daily life for the past five days. With the daylight finally ending, Akira began to pack up his belongings; gather up all of the money given to him, go to the nearest food stand, purchase some meat and walk off towards the forest where he made camp. Walking down some alleyways and making more turns, the walk to the forest from the marketplace was about a mile long and this left Akira with a lot of time to think various thoughts. Among these thoughts, the most haunting revelation was that Akira may not ever go home, and this realisation was causing him the most grief and worry. In the past five days, he had spent every waking hour making great trips all around Twilight Town to find a road home. When that failed, he began taking extraordinary hiking adventures across the mountain side of Twilight Town, but failed. Next, he began mapping the extensive forests that surrounded Twilight Town in order to find a trial back to Inu’s borders. Naturally that also ended in failure and Akira resorted to a last-ditch effort in using the night time stars. While being extremely skilled in astrology, Akira was unable to determine his position because the stars were apparently “in the wrong place.” Walking down some alleyways and making more turns to reach his camp in the forest, Akira kept planning various methods of finding a way home, with the haunting fear that he may never travel back to his beloved Inu hanging over his mind. Even with his vast knowledge in numerous fields, the biggest fear that Akira could never realize in a billion years, was that he was on another world. ~Day 5~ [i]"After being here in this 'Place' for 5 days, I came to learn that I'm currently in an town named 'Twilight Town', and if I recall correctly, I was in my home country of Inu, but when that last battle occurred with the enemy country of Ninkai, there was a freak storm, and I was followed by these weird 'Shadows'. Next thing I knew, I'm here in 'Twilight Town'." I really don't remember how I got here, or where I was when it happened. All I can recall is that I was on Inu, resting my eyes, and when I opened my eyes, the next thing I realized I was in "Twilight Town". Kind of a weird name if you ask me, but if I had to choose a name; I’d suggest something like "Sunset Town" or whatever; as this town would be better known for the beautiful sunsets they have..."[/i] Writing in his journal, there was a young man was sitting on the street within the marketplace of Twilight Town. Within his journal, the young man was writing down every thought and experience he had. [i]"Hehe, I really do enjoy this town. Back in Inu, you would be chased away with a broom for begging on the streets! Not only that, but Twilight Town is really, really clean. Meanwhile, Inu was extremely dirty and it was rare you'll see a flower in the street. But even then, the flower itself was dirty. If anything, what captures me the most is what's IN the town!! I mean...Well I really can’t explain the right words, but I notice people are just flipping a little switch, and BOOM! A source of light comes in from the ceilings like a light from the heaven itself!! (Think it was called a "Light bulb". In Inu, we used lanterns) It's really cool! There are many other things! [/i] [i]Although they're rather hard to explain, the real most useful one that I find helpful is a little beam of light that comes from this little plastic thing called a "flashlight!" It's really more convenient than a torch. [/i] [i]With a flashlight, you can just point and click the switch, then a light shines in the direction you point it! It takes two other little plastic things that make the flashlight work and is really light and convenient on the go. With a torch, you have to worry about burning yourself, the heat getting to your head, the weight, and the fact that it burns out on you if you use the wrong material.[/i] [i][i]Aside from the technological advances of Twilight Town, I really like this place. I can literally sleep on the streets, and not worry about a rat getting in my pack and eating my rations!! Hahahaha, of course I won't be sleeping on the streets like I used to back in Inu. If it weren't for Lance and Diego, I wouldn't be able to camp and learn how to hunt. Luckily there's a forest surrounding the town that provides excellent game to hunt and supplies for camping. Although the only bad side I can think of the flashlight is that it doesn't keep me warm like a torch, so I can't rely on it too much..."[/i][/i] ~End~ Finishing his report on his today’s experiences, the young man put a book mark in the page and closed it shut. Sitting on his rear end cross-legged, the young man didn’t bother to heed the attention of all the other people walking past him. With all of their shopping needs and other important duties to attend to, the people of Twilight Town didn’t bother with the young man and the young man didn’t bother with them. Instead, the young man only stared at the journal and kept on staring… It was brand new with each page pure white with yellow glossy edges. The perfect definition of a mint-condition book. However the journal itself was completely bland looking. With a beige body and red trimmings, the journal had an empty white space on the front cover that labelled “The Property of Akira Sadisme Runner” Akira…Sadisme…Runner… Akira… Sadisme… Runner… For what felt like an eternity to him, the young man grabbed his back-pack, opened it, and stuffed his journal back into its place. Upon closing his bag, Akira Sadisme Runner, noticed another journal inside his bag and began to stare at it. Unlike his current journal that he bought five days ago…or in more correct terms, the journal he had stolen five days ago, the other journal inside his bag was more elaborately decorated, but in poor condition. With an orange body with red & gold decorations, finished off in black & white trimmings, the upper-center of the journal was a light blue and entitled “Property of Akira Runner” with a little label that said “Happy Birthday!! From Hi’hime Kazama” underneath it. Looking at the two journals, Akira grimaced and began to sulk. When comparing the two books, the brand-new stolen journal was obviously…well, “new” with only five pages written upon. Whereas, the old birthday-gift journal was completely worn out with the spine tearing apart and the pages beginning to yellow. This book further added to Akira’s depression when he noticed that there was a huge chunk of pages missing. In plain truth, ever since the day he had stolen a new journal, Akira began to write down each and every emotion he experienced in the past five days. Every time he put his journal away, he would look at the birthday gift and always fall into some kind of depression. This was something that was never new, but it always felt new to him. The missing pages themselves represented the old memories from his own home world with his own adventures. However, in the weirdest turn of events, he’d become “disconnected” from his world. This resulted in his memories of a lot of major things in his life being erased. For an average 15 year-old, there really is no need to have a lot of experiences. However, Akira was not an “average” 15 year-old as it was not so much a lack of experience, but a lack of recollection of said experiences. Whatever the case, the only real thing that Akira wanted was two things: To recover his missing memories and to return home. Whatever in the world that made him beyond “average” was well out of his means of understanding. With his missing memories and all. After a good 5 minutes had passed, the young man Akira regained his senses and finally closed his bag. He began attending to all of the difficulties around him and started to make preparations for his next meal… "Oh! Thank you sir." Replied Akira, the young man, who was now living off the streets in Twilight Town and had to start begging to people in order to gain the money he needed for his next meal. Unlike the other beggars in the same district as him, Akira knew how to play the crowd and get easy money. This resulted in fierce competition among the other homeless people and sometimes, brutal gang-wars were fought…But instead of shanks, illegal weapons, and a shady source of income such as drug-deals, these gang-wars were just turf-wars between homeless people who simply wanted a particular street because they had more sympathetic people willing to give them money… Fortunately for our hero (?), Akira had one ace up his sleeve: Back on his home world of Inu, Akira lived as a beggar and had coped with being homeless before. This resulted in his artistic skills of thievery, free-running, the negative attitude of life as a delinquent, and the valuable skill of vanishing from “unwanted” people. However, there was also an unexpected side to him: Humility. While living on the streets, he had no real parents or caretakers to teach him right from wrong. Despite being a delinquent and orphan, Akira eventually found a single friend that became his family. This new-found family later encouraged him to join the military at the age of 12 so as to educate him further. Through this process, he met two other kids his age that were attempting to live with similar problems to him. And through this, his ‘family’ continued to grow. With an equal sense of seeing how life is never fair and the knowledge of how moving past your problems with your head held high, Akira had been equipped with much wisdom. Not only that, but most of these gang/turf-wars were generally fought with slanderous words. So Akira had an easy time running away and coming back later to start begging. With stranger after stranger walking up to him, and dropping coins in his little makeshift bag, Akira kept responding with quotes like "Your donation is greatly appreciated!” or “Thank you Ma'am!” Whatever the case, this was his daily life for the past five days. With the daylight finally ending, Akira began to pack up his belongings; gather up all of the money given to him, go to the nearest food stand, purchase some meat and walk off towards the forest where he made camp. Walking down some alleyways and making more turns, the walk to the forest from the marketplace was about a mile long and this left Akira with a lot of time to think various thoughts. Among these thoughts, the most haunting revelation was that Akira may not ever go home, and this realisation was causing him the most grief and worry. In the past five days, he had spent every waking hour making great trips all around Twilight Town to find a road home. When that failed, he began taking extraordinary hiking adventures across the mountain side of Twilight Town, but failed. Next, he began mapping the extensive forests that surrounded Twilight Town in order to find a trial back to Inu’s borders. Naturally that also ended in failure and Akira resorted to a last-ditch effort in using the night time stars. While being extremely skilled in astrology, Akira was unable to determine his position because the stars were apparently “in the wrong place.” Walking down some alleyways and making more turns to reach his camp in the forest, Akira kept planning various methods of finding a way home, with the haunting fear that he may never travel back to his beloved Inu hanging over his mind. Even with his vast knowledge in numerous fields, the biggest fear that Akira could never realize in a billion years, was that he was on another world.[/spoiler] EDIT So basically, I'm Word, but a little better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frybread002 Posted June 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 Double poted...damnit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frybread002 Posted June 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2012 [spoiler=The edited version of Chapter 1] ~Day 5~ [i]"After being here in this 'Place' for 5 days, I came to learn that I'm currently in an town named 'Twilight Town', and if I recall correctly, I was in my home country of Inu, but when that last battle occurred with the enemy country of Ninkai, there was a freak storm, and I was followed by these weird 'Shadows'. Next thing I knew, I'm here in 'Twilight Town'." I really don't remember how I got here, or where I was when it happened. All I can recall is that I was on Inu, resting my eyes, and when I opened my eyes, the next thing I realized I was in "Twilight Town". Kind of a weird name if you ask me, but if I had to choose a name; I’d suggest something like "Sunset Town" or whatever; as this town would be better known for the beautiful sunsets they have..."[/i] Writing in his journal, there was a young man sitting on the street within the marketplace of Twilight Town. Within his journal, the young man was writing down every thought and experience he had. [i]"Hehe, I really do enjoy this town. Back in Inu, you would be chased away with a broom for begging on the streets! Not only that, but Twilight Town is really, really clean. Meanwhile, Inu was extremely dirty and it was rare you'll see a flower in the street. But even then, the flower itself was dirty. If anything, what captures me the most is what's IN the town!! I mean...Well I really can’t explain the right words, but I notice people are just flipping a little switch, and BOOM! A source of light comes in from the ceilings like a light from the heaven itself!! (Think it was called a "Light bulb". In Inu, we used lanterns) It's really cool! There are many other things! [/i] [i]Although they're rather hard to explain, the real most useful one that I find helpful is a little beam of light that comes from this little plastic thing called a "flashlight!" It's really more convenient than a torch. [/i] [i]With a flashlight, you can just point and click the switch, then a light shines in the direction you point it! It takes two other little plastic things that make the flashlight work and is really light and convenient on the go. With a torch, you have to worry about burning yourself, the heat getting to your head, the weight, and the fact that it burns out on you if you use the wrong material.[/i] [i][i]Aside from the technological advances of Twilight Town, I really like this place. I can literally sleep on the streets, and not worry about a rat getting in my pack and eating my rations!! Hahahaha, of course I won't be sleeping on the streets like I used to back in Inu. If it weren't for Lance and Diego, I wouldn't be able to camp and learn how to hunt. Luckily there's a forest surrounding the town that provides excellent game to hunt and supplies for camping. Although the only bad side I can think of the flashlight is that it doesn't keep me warm like a torch, so I can't rely on it too much..."[/i][/i] ~End~ Finishing his report on his today’s experiences, the young man put a book mark in the page and closed it shut. Sitting on his rear end cross-legged, the young man didn’t bother to heed the attention of all the other people walking past him. With all of their shopping needs and other important duties to attend to, the people of Twilight Town didn’t bother with the young man and the young man didn’t bother with them. Instead, the young man only stared at the journal and kept on staring… It was brand new with each page pure white with yellow glossy edges. The perfect definition of a mint-condition book. However the journal itself was completely bland looking. With a beige body and red trimmings, the journal had an empty white space on the front cover that labelled [font=comic sans ms, cursive]“The Property of Akira Sadisme Runner”[/font] Akira…Sadisme…Runner… Akira… Sadisme… Runner… For what felt like an eternity to him, the young man grabbed his back-pack, opened it, and stuffed his journal back into its place. Upon closing his bag, Akira Sadisme Runner, noticed another journal inside his bag and began to stare at it. Unlike his current journal that he bought five days ago…or in more correct terms, the journal he had stolen five days ago, the other journal inside his bag was more elaborately decorated, but in poor condition. With an orange body with red & gold decorations, finished off in black & white trimmings, the upper-center of the journal was a light blue and entitled [font=comic sans ms, cursive]“Property of Akira Runner”[/font] with a little label that said [font=comic sans ms, cursive]“Happy Birthday!! From Hi’hime Kazama”[/font] underneath it. Looking at the two journals, Akira grimaced and began to sulk. When comparing the two books, the brand-new stolen journal was obviously…well, “new” with only five pages written upon. Whereas, the old birthday-gift journal was completely worn out with the spine tearing apart and the pages beginning to yellow. This book further added to Akira’s depression when he noticed that there was a huge chunk of pages missing. In plain truth, ever since the day he had stolen a new journal, Akira began to write down each and every emotion he experienced in the past five days. Every time he put his journal away, he would look at the birthday gift and always fall into some kind of depression. This was something that was never new, but it always felt new to him. The missing pages themselves represented the old memories from his own home world with his own adventures. However, in the weirdest turn of events, he’d become “disconnected” from his world. This resulted in his memories of a lot of major things in his life being erased. For an average 15 year-old, there really is no need to have a lot of experiences. However, Akira was not an “average” 15 year-old as it was not so much a lack of experience, but a lack of recollection of said experiences. Whatever the case, the only real thing that Akira wanted was two things: To recover his missing memories and to return home. Whatever in the world that made him beyond “average” was well out of his means of understanding. With his missing memories and all. After a good 5 minutes had passed, the young man Akira regained his senses and finally closed his bag. He began attending to all of the difficulties around him and started to make preparations for his next meal… [font=comic sans ms, cursive]"Oh! Thank you sir."[/font] Replied Akira, the young man, who was now living off the streets in Twilight Town and had to start begging to people in order to gain the money he needed for his next meal. Unlike the other beggars in the same district as him, Akira knew how to play the crowd and get easy money. This resulted in fierce competition among the other homeless people and sometimes, brutal gang-wars were fought…But instead of shanks, illegal weapons, and a shady source of income such as drug-deals, these gang-wars were just turf-wars between homeless people who simply wanted a particular street because they had more sympathetic people willing to give them money… Fortunately for our hero (?), Akira had one ace up his sleeve: Back on his home world of Inu, Akira lived as a beggar and had coped with being homeless before. This resulted in his artistic skills of thievery, free-running, the negative attitude of life as a delinquent, and the valuable skill of vanishing from “unwanted” people. However, there was also an unexpected side to him: Humility. While living on the streets, he had no real parents or caretakers to teach him right from wrong. Despite being a delinquent and orphan, Akira eventually found a single friend that became his family. This new-found family later encouraged him to join the military at the age of 12 so as to educate him further. Through this process, he met two other kids his age that were attempting to live with similar problems to him. And through this, his ‘family’ continued to grow. With an equal sense of seeing how life is never fair and the knowledge of how moving past your problems with your head held high, Akira had been equipped with much wisdom. Not only that, but most of these gang/turf-wars were generally fought with slanderous words. So Akira had an easy time running away and coming back later to start begging. With stranger after stranger walking up to him, and dropping coins in his little makeshift bag, Akira kept responding with quotes like [font=comic sans ms, cursive]"Your donation is greatly appreciated!”[/font] or [font=comic sans ms, cursive]“Thank you Ma'am!”[/font] Whatever the case, this was his daily life for the past five days. With the daylight finally ending, Akira began to pack up his belongings; gather up all of the money given to him, go to the nearest food stand, purchase some meat and walk off towards the forest where he made camp. Walking down some alleyways and making more turns, the walk to the forest from the marketplace was about a mile long and this left Akira with a lot of time to think various thoughts. Among these thoughts, the most haunting revelation was that Akira may not ever go home, and this realisation was causing him the most grief and worry. In the past five days, he had spent every waking hour making great trips all around Twilight Town to find a road home. When that failed, he began taking extraordinary hiking adventures across the mountain side of Twilight Town, but failed. Next, he began mapping the extensive forests that surrounded Twilight Town in order to find a trial back to Inu’s borders. Naturally that also ended in failure and Akira resorted to a last-ditch effort in using the night time stars. While being extremely skilled in astrology, Akira was unable to determine his position because the stars were apparently “in the wrong place.” Walking down some alleyways and making more turns to reach his camp in the forest, Akira kept planning various methods of finding a way home, with the haunting fear that he may never travel back to his beloved Inu hanging over his mind. Even with his vast knowledge in numerous fields, the biggest fear that Akira could never realize in a billion years, was that he was on another world. [/spoiler] First of all, I am really excited that someone volunteered to be a proof reader. So Weird Guy, you have my blessings. (On a side note, just to be safe, I was proof reading your edits and fixed some errors you missed. However, I'd greatly appreciated if you could read over my edits fix anything I have missed.) As for you Chaos, since I'm having a hard time with the color schemes, you have my permission to print out a copy of the drawing and color in your own designs. From there you can either tell me or upload it and show me. Doesn't really matter. In terms of a group, the second chapter will be the debut of Shio. Personally I much rather have Chaos do his own chapter for Chaos. Unfortunately he doesn't really have a keyboard to type with. That being said I'm more than willing to make another chapter for Shio. This does provide it's own troubles though; In terms of the story, Akira is the "new guy" and is capable of asking questions that a seasoned Keyblader like Shio wouldn't be able to ask. It's kinda like having Sora learning basics again, even though he is a veteran with the Keyblade. This being said, I'd much rather have Shio start off as a more experienced Keyblade Wielder and have him help Akira to progress certain elements of the story. Speaking of the story, the way I setup the plot structure, is we have Seven Days. Within those seven days are Chapters. The story will be told in the progress of one week and during each day, we have a certain number of chapters for those key events. What we have so far are 3 Worlds we will use (Space Paranoids, Underland, and Halloween Town). Problem is we gotta figure out what "days" those worlds will be placed in. Not to mention the ending on the Keyblade Graveyard and the destruction of Castle Oblivion. To finish off, all the future chapters will be written by all of us; for example I already did chapter one. Maybe Double C4 can do chapter two, and Nameless will do chapter three. (Ideally, this is how I picture it comming together. So I plan some things to change.) P.S. How do you guys feel about voice acting? Cuz right I'm actually doing a little audiobook for this chapter just to make this fan-fic Adaptation stand out more. If anything, those scenes that I've been drawing will defenitately have voice acting in them. That being said, you guys wanna voice act, be my guest. P.P.S. By defult I'm doing Akira's voice over and so I'll be doing a little rough draft for a manga scene based on the first chapter so you can see for yourselves what I am talking about. P.P.S.S. Officially we need a Narrator; a person who will read the non-dialouge lines and all that juicy goodness for this audiobook idea. For now, I am doing a test run on the first chapter, so give me awhile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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