The Darkest Light (PG 13)

[Sanvitch]

My first attempt at a fan fic ever. I'm very much open to critisim.

Idea behind it for anyone whos intrested. I thought it would a cool idea to do a twist on a duel acadmey story, and i thought it would be a lot more fun to do it from the bad guys view.

[spoiler='Setting']Here it was, the same old. Same old. Bad guy with a plan to end the world in an overly complicated manner. Good guy comes along from nowhere, duels his ass off and wins. Bad guy meets a bad end, good guy lives happily ever after. Well that’s what supposed to happen. But in their eyes, I’m the bad guy. And I guess there right. I’m One of them anyway… And as for the Hero coming along and kicking my ass. Like that’s gonna happen. [/spoiler]

[spoiler='Chapter 1']There was a storm tonight. Duel academy Island was being rocked with bad weather. The winds bellowed, lightning lashed out. Waves battered at the edges of the island, attacking it with savage ferocity. The Acadmey building itself stading strong as the stone it was made from. The students were safe, all in their dorms. In fact, only one man was in the academy proper. The chancellor, David Breton.
Chancellor Breton wasn’t a young man. He hadn’t been a young man for several years now. His hair, once a bright red, was gone. His eyes bore the weight of years. Like his predecessors, he wore a long scarlet jacket, almost a fusion with a cloak. He sat back in his office, in his expensive leather chair. He stared blankly at the form on his desk. The rain was lashing at the windows followed by a crash of thunder, and a flash of lightning. The lights in his office dimmed Then died, leaving him in the darkness. Slowly he stood up.
“I know you are there. You may as well come out.” At first nothing. Then slowly someone stepped out of the shadows.
“It’s been a while, Chancellor.” Spoke the new man. He was wearing a long dark blue plain jacket, almost black.Underneath that he wore a simple shirt, torn and battered. The sound of his heavy footsteps slowly echoed throughout the room.
“Indeed it has. Imrial."He was blonde, dark blonde in fact. Almost brown. He wasn’t too tall, wasn’t too short. In fact, at a first glimpse he seemed normal. Except for his eyes. The left, was a deep sapphire blue, ocean like. As for the right one, emerald green. It was an unsettling sight, but he didn’t care. Imrial walked and sat down in a leather chair opposite the Chancellor’s desk.
“I assume you know why I am here.” Imrial said, taking great comfort in the chair. He was relaxed, as if the situation was everyday life.
“Yes.” The chancellor sighed. Slowly he took a pen out of his top pocket.
“Allow me to fix the lights.” Imrial clapped his hands, and with a slow flicker, the lights in the Chancellor’s room lit back up. The chancellor sighed again, and with a lifetime worth of regret lifted, signed the form on his desk.
“It is done. All of the pieces are in place.” The chancellor looked over towards Imrial, whose eyes were fixed out the window. “What happened to you… What could possibly have made you do this…” Imrial looked back at the Chancellor. His face was grim, and like the Chancellors full of regret.
“People make mistakes… And some spend the rest of their life living by them…” The chancellor reached into his desk, and pulled out a sorely used relic. His duel disk. Battle city issue, and rough around the edges. Imrial stood up slowly, and to the Chancellor’s shock gave him a bow of respect.
“You were never the sort to fall with them… I could never imagined it having happened.” Chancellor took out his deck, and engaged his duel disk. Imrial opened his jacket, and removed his Duel disk. It was custom, in the style of a Dragon’s wing. Chancellor caught a glimpse of not one, but two deck holders at his waist. “You have another deck.. Where from?” Imrial smiled.
“My gift from the 13.”
“May I ask which mark you acquired?” Imrial nodded, and undid the buttons at the end of his right sleeve. He pulled back the sleeve, showing a black tattoo, burned into his skin it seemed. A complex pattern, a series of long lines, making no identifiable pattern, except for the people who made it their duty to study.
“Serpentarius, the greatest of the 13.” Imrial said, before hiding the mark once more. Breton sighed.
“I hoped not. You have condemned yourself.” Imrial stared at him blankly.
“I’m afraid I did that a long time ago, old friend.” His duel disk whirled into life. As it did so, Imrial let out a brief gasp of pain. “It still takes some getting used to.”
“I can imagine.” Breton drew his starting hand, and waited for Imrial to do the same. “Will you honour your promise? Will they be safe?”
“I promise. I will let no harm come to them.” At least for a time… The 13 are fickle. “You are a brave man David.” Breton let a small smile slip.
“As are you. And I can tell your unease. You do not want this.” Imrial laughed.
“That is where you are wrong.” Imrial drew his five cards. “This is only enjoyment left in my life.” He raised his hand pointing at Breton. “And no power will take it from me.” Breton sighed.
“So be it…” Breton drew his sixth card.
“I summon, Elemental Hero Voltic, in attack mode (1000/1500).” A blue armoured figure appeared, electricity crackling between its hands. “Then I equip it with Voltic spear, raising its attack by 1000.” A long golden spear materialized in the Voltic’s hand, and it began supercharging itself.
“Elemental Heroes. One of the old sets, I remember Jaden…” Imrial said.
“He made them famous… You two were friends.”
“Emphasis on were.” Imrial said, waiting for Breton to end his turn.
“I set one card.” The lights flickered once more. “Is It not able to keep the lights on?” Imrial laughed.
“Serpentarius is the most powerful scion, but it is a child. It’s will is fickle.” Breton sighed once more.
“How the mighty have fallen.”
“I draw.” Imrial said, a flare of darkness surrounding his movement. “And as for the mighty falling. A phoenix rises from the ashes. I summon, Twin Headed Behemoth (1500/1000).” A twin headed Dragon appeared before them, shadows spilling outwards to give it form. Both heads were tri horned, one with glowing red eyes, one with blue. It growled, and its breath steamed.
“I was expecting bigger.” Breton said, before pressing a button on his duel disk. His face down card flipped into life, trap hole. “But it will do.” The dragon collapsed, sinking into the ground.
“On the contrary.” Imrial said, three simple words defeating anything the professor could’ve hoped for. “I used a weak monster to clear the path for a more powerful one. Go foolish Burial.” A card slid out of his deck, and Imrial sent it to the grave.
“That card… It was-was Darkblaze Dragon wasn’t it.” Imrial nodded, before activating another spell card, Premature Burial.
“Behold, the Dragon Lord, Darkblaze Dragon (1200/1000).” A four winged dragon appeared in a rapidly expanding circle of black flames. It’s scales were a deep dark blue, almost black. Its underbelly was a bright orange, the utter contrast. Slowly it touched the ground, claws digging in and cracking the pristine marble floor. The stones had melted in the circle of Black fire. It was small, just above Imrial head. Then it began growing, doubling in size quite rapidly. Its wings were now large enough to break through the walls of the office, and its tail crashed to the ground, the tiles shattering. “when darkblaze is special summoned from the grave, its original attack and defence is doubled.” The dragon snarled and opened its jaws. It’s white teeth glistened, before slowly being illuminated by dark blue light. A ball of dark fire materialized in its jaws. Then a stream shot outwards, striking and consuming Voltic. It howled in pain, before the fires carried outwards.
“As you know, when Darkblaze destroys a monster in battle. It flames care not for your monster, and you will take damage equal to that monsters attack. Essentially, when it destroys an attack position monster, you take 2400 damage.” The flames struck Breton, tossing him back, and setting his jacket on fire. He smashed into the glass and heard it crack. Slowly he stood, taking off his jacket. The marble floor had melted.
“I’m ashamed of you Imrial.” Breton said as his life points dropped to 1600. “I thought you specialised in one turn kills.” Imrial laughed.
“Only on those who aren’t worth any more of my time.” Breton muttered something under his breath.
“I set two face downs.” Twin headed behemoth appeared again in a stream of darkness. This time it was missing a head, and 500 attack points and was in defence, shielding itself with its wings.
“My go then I assume?” He drew his card. His jacket had burnt to a crisp. “I summon Elemental hero Ocean(1500/1200), and activate his effect, returning Voltic to my hand.” A blue, amphibious hero appeared in a swirl of water. It held a double bladed spear.
“Wow. Another hero. Lemme guess. A fusion is next?” Breton mumbled.
“I activate Polymerisation, fusing Voltic and Stratos in my hand to summon Elemental Hero Great Tornado. (2800/2200)” A swirling mass of light formed before settling, And from it emerged a tall yellow and green hero. In place of a right hand, it had a rapier fused to it. It wore a long battered cloak, which began blowing in the wind. “Now, Tornado halves the attack and defence of all monsters on your field.” A swirl of wind whooshed around, forcing the dragon to land, it howled as it did so, unable to move. Twin headed behemoth did the same.
“Ah, how the game has changed. Fusions used to be the big thing. Then synchros… And now XYZ…” Imrial said.
“There aren’t enough people who follow the old ways.” Breton said. Imrial smiled.
“Too right…. But there will be one less by nights end..” Imrial felt the brand of Serpentarius burning more intensely. I have to end this. Soon.
“Great tornado, attack Darkblaze Dragon.” Imrial smiled.
“You think I would let you put my dragon lord down so easily.” He pressed a button on his custom duel disk. “Staunch Defender, which forces all of your monsters to attack my Twin Headed Behemoth.” Tornado charged towards behemoth, hand raised. With a silent shout, it split Behemoth in half. “And you can’t attack ANYTHING else.” Ocean had been wasted. Breton cursed.
“Damn you.”
“Someone did that a long time ago…” He drew his card and smiled. “Time to end this. I activate my face down, call of the haunted, resurrecting my Twin Headed Behemoth.” The familiar dragon reappeared. “Now I tribute both my monsters to summon the second Dragon Lord. Behold Tyrant Dragon. (2900/2500).” The two dragons broke apart into shadows, which merged, forming a bigger shadow. The new shadow was over twice as tall as Darkblaze. It was brown, scaled. As it took form, it found itself to be to large for the room. It tore through the roof, and smashed the back wall with its tail. The floor groaned under the new dragon’s weight. Two long horns burst from its head, and a green gem was set in the middle of its forehead. It let out a roar and Breton was thrown to the floor by the force of it.
“Your beast isn’t strong enough to wipe me out.” Breton said, standing slowly and defiantly.
“I activate the spell card, Dragon’s gunfire. Since I control a dragon, you take 800 damage.” I ball of fire shot outwards, striking Breton in the chest and tossing him to the ground. His life points dropped to 800.
“s***. That means… I-I-I.” He fell to the floor.
“Tyrant Dragon, attack Great Tornado.” The Dragon answered. A huge ball of fire shot out of its mouth, and the Hero exploded into pixels. Breton was tossed backwards into the glass. It cracked again. Breton cried out in pain.
“You… you let me live…” Imrial laughed.
“No. Tyrant Dragon has a special ability. When he destroys one of your monsters in battle. He may attack another one of your monsters.”
“Why not attack Oce-“ He started to cry as he saw a crimson glow form in the Dragons mouth. “Stra- Straight away?”
“Because… I wanted to see you suffer.” Imrial walked over to the desk and took the form that Breton had signed earlier. “like I said. I will enjoy my life.” The dragon spat out a fireball at Breton. Ocean rushed to intercept. The explosion shot outwards in all directions, shattering the glass. Imrial heard the faint scream of Breton. Farewell.
Imrial felt the mark on his skin stop burning. The other Dragon disappeared. The rain was lashing into the battered and broken office. The glass was shattered, the ceiling destroyed. Imrial walked out of the office, and slammed the form into the wall on the outside. The wind will only blow it away in the office… Slowly he walked through the silent and darkened halls of duel academy. Memories flowed back. Jaden, Chazz, Zane… none of them mattered now.
“Is it done?” Asked a man appearing out of the shadows.
“If it wasn’t would I be standing here?” Imrial said. The figure stepped out. It was another of those blessed by the 13. He bore the mark of Capricorn, the ram. He was short, barely up to Imrial’s neck. He wore a long black cloak, with a yellow glyph on the back. He had striking white hair cut above his eyes, and pale skin. His voice was soft, almost like the wind. His name was Jin.
“To true.” Jin said. Imrial kept walking.
“Serpentarius seems to be with us.” Imrial laughed.
“Serpentarius cares not what we do. We act under the command of the Seraph. Her word is law.” Jin and Imrial walked out into the storm. The rain began to buffet them, before Jin raised his arm. The mark on it glowed, and the thunder began.
“Is that so? You talk as if you know the 13 on personal terms?” The thunder worsened, a bolt of lightning striking the ground in front of the two, slowly working its way towards them.
“No. But I am as close as it could be.” Neither one of them spoke words as the lightning struck them and they were gone.
High above, they watched. High above they plotted. High above they remained. And so it has begun…[/spoiler]

Again, happy for any critism or advice.

[Vairocana]

[spoiler=]There was a storm tonight. Duel academy Island was being rocked with bad weather. A tropical storm.[b] (Boring. You've told us there's a storm. Fantastic. Show it to us instead. Dark clouds massed like angry giants, grumbling in the sky. The rain lashed the stone parapets of the Duel Academy (I have no idea what the DA looks like) like whips. The wind moaned like a wounded animal. Lighting flickered across the sky in a constant stacatto. Stuff like that is ten thousand times more interesting than "there was a storm")[/b] All the students were safe, all of them in their dorms. In fact, only one man was in the academy proper. The chancellor, David Breton.
Chancellor Breton wasn’t a young man. He hadn’t been a young man for several years now. His hair, once a bright red, was gone. His eyes bore the weight of years. Like his predecessors, he wore a long scarlet jacket, almost a fusion with a cloak. He [s]was[/s] sat back in his office, in his expensive leather chair. The rain was [s]lashing[/s] [b]lashed [/b]at the windows[b],[/b] followed by a crash of lightning[b](thunder. Lightning does not crash)[/b]. The lights in his office dimmed[b], then[/b] died, leaving him in the darkness. Slowly he stood up.
“I know you are there. You may as well come out.” At first nothing. Then slowly someone stepped out of the shadows.
“[b]I[/b]t’s been a while, Chancellor.” Spoke the new man. He was wearing a long [s]bark[/s] [b]dark [/b]blue [b]plain [/b]jacket, almost black.[s] All the details had been removed, leaving the Jacket plain[/s]. Underneath that he wore a simple shirt, torn and battered. The sound of his heavy footsteps slowly echoed throughout the room. He was blonde, dark blonde in fact[b],[/b] [b]a[/b]lmost brown. He wasn’t too tall, wasn’t too short. In fact, at a first glimpse he seemed normal, [s]average in fact[/s][b](normal is the same thing as average, no need to repeat)[/b]. Except for his eyes. The left, was a deep sapphire blue,[b] like the ocean[/b] [s]ocean like[/s]. As for the right one, emerald green. It was an unsettling sight, but he didn’t care. I don’t care what anyone thinks of my looks. [b](1. Try to avoid sudden switches in pov, it confuses the reader. 2. Don't switch between third and first person for the same reason. 3. You repeated yourself)[/b]
“Indeed it has. Imrial.”[b](Reasons why you shouldn't stop in the middle of your narrative to completely describe a character: I almost didn't understand this sentence becuase it was so long ago that he first spoke. It also disrupts the flow of the narrative. Slip in one or two important features and move on with the narrative, sneaking in other descriptors here and there)[/b] Imrial walked and sat down in a leather chair opposite the Chancellor’s desk.
“I assume you know why I am here.” Imrial said, taking great comfort in the chair. He was relaxed, as if the situation was everyday life.
“Yes.” The chancellor sighed. Slowly he took a pen out of his top pocket.
“Allow me to fix the [b]l[/b]ights.” Imrial clapped his hands, and with a slow flicker, the lights in the Chancellor’s room lit back up. The chancellor sighed[b] again[/b], and with a lifetime worth of regret lifted, signed the form on his desk. [b](Where did the form come from? This is the first time I heard about it)[/b]
“It is done. All of the pieces are in place.” The chancellor looked over towards Imrial, his eyes fixed out the window[b](the "his" is confusing here. Whose eyes?)[/b]. “What happened to you… What could possibly have made you do this…” Imrial looked back at the Chancellor. His face was grim, and[b],[/b] [s]much[/s] like the Chancellor[b],[/b] full of regret.
“People make mistakes… And some spend the rest of their life living by them…” The chancellor reached into his desk, and pulled out a sorely used relic[b](I don't understand what "sorely" means in this context)[/b]. His duel disk. Battle city issue, and rough around the edges[b](boring. Give us better description.)[/b]. Imrial stood up slowly, and to the Chancellor’s shock gave him a bow of respect.
“You were never the sort to fall with them… I could never imagined it [s]having happened[/s][b] happening[/b].” Chancellor took out his deck, and engaged his duel disk. Imrial opened his jacket, and removed his Duel disk. It was [b]a [/b]custom, in the style of a Dragon’s wing. Chancellor caught a glimpse of not one, but two deck holders at his waist. “You have another deck.. Where from?” Imrial smiled.
“My gift from the 13.”
“May I ask which mark you acquired?” Imrial nodded, and undid the buttons at the end of his right sleeve. He pulled back the sleeve, showing a black tattoo, burned into his skin it seemed. A complex pattern, a series of long lines, making no identifiable pattern [b](you can't say it's a complex pattern and then say there is no identifiable pattern)[/b], except for the people who made it their duty to study. [b](people who make it their duty to study.....stuff? Just to study?)[/b]
“Serpentarius, the greatest of the 13.” Imrial said, before hiding the mark once more. Breton sighed.
“I hoped not. You have condemned yourself.” Imrial stared at him blankly.
“I’m afraid I did that a long time ago, old friend.” His duel disk whirled into life. As it did so, Imrial let out a brief gasp of pain. “It still takes some getting used to.”
“I can imagine.” Breton drew his starting hand, and waited for Imrial to do the same. “Will you honour your promise? Will they be safe?”
“I promise. I will let no harm come to them.” At least for a time… The 13 are fickle. [b](dialogue goes on a new line)[/b] “You are a brave man David.” Breton let a small smile slip.
“As are you. And I can tell your unease. You do not want this.” Imrial laughed. [b](sounds like Imrial is speaking)[/b]
“That is where you are wrong.” Imrial drew his five cards. “This is only enjoyment left in my life.” He raised his hand pointing at Breton. “And no power will take it from me.” Breton sighed.
“So be it…” Breton drew his sixth card.
“I summon, Elemental Hero Voltic, in attack mode (1000/1500).” A blue armoured figure appeared, electricity crackling between its hands. “Then I equip it with Voltic spear, raising its attack by 1000.” A long golden spear materialized in the Voltic’s hand, and it began supercharging itself.
“Elemental Heroes. One of the old sets, I remember Jaden…” Imrial said.
“He made them famous… You two were friends.”
“Emphasis on were.” Imrial said, waiting for Breton to end his turn.
“I set one card.” The lights flickered once more. “Is It not able to keep the lights on?” Imrial laughed. [b](again, sounds liek Imrial is speaking)[/b]
“Serpentarius is the most powerful scion, but it is a child. It’s will is fickle.” Breton sighed once more. [b](And this sounds like Breton is speaking)[/b]
“How the mighty have fallen.”
“I draw.” Imrial said, a flare of darkness surrounding his movement. “And as for the mighty falling. A phoenix rises from the ashes. I summon, Twin Headed Behemoth (1500/1000).” A twin headed Dragon appeared before them, shadows spilling outwards to give it form. Both heads were tri horned, one with glowing red eyes, one with blue. It growled, and its breath steamed.
“I was expecting bigger.” Breton said, before pressing a button on his duel disk. His face down card flipped into life, trap hole. “But it will do.” The dragon collapsed, sinking into the ground.
“On the contrary.” Imrial said, three simple words defeating anything the professor could’ve hoped for [b](I don't quite understand what you were going for with this sentence)[/b]. “I used a weak monster to clear the path for a more powerful one. Go foolish Burial.” A card slid out of his deck, and Imrial sent it to the grave.
“That card… It was-was Darkblaze Dragon wasn’t it[b]?[/b]” Imrial nodded, before activating another spell card, Premature Burial.[b](please learn to format dialogue correctly)[/b]
“Behold, the Dragon Lord, Darkblaze Dragon (1200/1000).” A four winged dragon appeared in a rapidly expanding circle of black flames. It’s scales were a deep dark blue, almost black. Its underbelly was a bright orange, [s]the utter contrast[/s]. Slowly it touched the ground, claws digging in and cracking the pristine marble floor. The stones had melted in the circle of Black fire. It was small, just above Imrial head. Then it began growing, doubling in size quite rapidly. Its wings were now large enough to break through the walls of the office, and its tail crashed to the ground, the tiles shattering. “when [b]D[/b]arkblaze is special summoned from the grave, its original attack and defence is doubled.” The dragon snarled and opened its jaws. It’s white teeth glistened, before slowly being illuminated [b](if they're glistening, they're already being illuminated by something)[/b] by dark blue light. A ball of dark fire materialized in its jaws. Then a stream shot outwards, striking and consuming Voltic. It howled in pain, before the fires carried outwards.
“As you know, when Darkblaze destroys a monster in battle[b],[/b] [b]i[/b][b]ts[/b] flames care not for your monster, and you will take damage equal to [s]that monster[b]'[/b]s[/s] [b]its [/b]attack. [s]Essentially, when it destroys an attack position monster, you take 2400 damage.[/s]” The flames struck Breton, tossing him back, and setting his jacket on fire. He smashed into the glass and heard it crack. Slowly he stood, taking off his jacket. The marble floor had melted. [b](If its hot enough to melt marble, Breton should be dead. Also, you already said the marble melted earlier)[/b]
“I’m ashamed of you Imrial.” Breton said as his life points dropped to 1600. “I thought you specialised in one turn kills.” Imrial laughed.
“Only on those who aren’t worth any more of my time.” Breton muttered something under his breath.
“I set two [b]cards [/b]face down.” Twin[b]-[/b][b]H[/b]eaded [b]B[/b]ehemoth appeared again in a stream of darkness. This time it was missing a head and 500 attack points[b],[/b] and was in defence, shielding itself with its wings.
“My go then I assume?” He drew his card. His jacket had burnt to a crisp. “I summon Elemental [b]H[/b]ero Ocean(1500/1200), and activate his effect, returning Voltic to my hand.” A blue, amphibious hero appeared in a swirl of water. It held a double bladed spear.
“Wow. Another hero. Lemme guess. A fusion is next?” Breton mumbled.[b] (Why is Breton mumbling what appears to be dialogue that Imrial is saying?)[/b]
“I activate Polymerisation [b](this is incorreclty spelled.)[/b], fusing Voltic and Stratos in my hand to summon Elemental Hero Great Tornado. (2800/2200)” A swirling mass of light formed before settling, [b]a[/b]nd from it emerged a tall yellow and green hero [b](these descriptions are boring)[/b]. In place of a right hand, it had a rapier fused to it. It wore a long battered cloak, which began blowing in the wind. “Now, Tornado halves the attack and defence of all monsters on your field.” A swirl of wind whooshed around, forcing the dragon to land, it howled as it did so, unable to move. Twin headed behemoth did the same.
“Ah, how the game has changed. Fusions used to be the big thing. Then synchros… And now XYZ…” Imrial said.
“There aren’t enough people who follow the old ways.” Breton said. Imrial smiled.
“Too right…. But there will be one less by night[b]'[/b]s end..” Imrial felt the brand of Serpentarius burning more intensely. I have to end this. Soon. [b](pov switch. first person.)[/b]
“Great [b]T[/b]ornado, attack Darkblaze Dragon.” Imrial smiled. ([b]If it is someone or something's name, it is capitalized)[/b]
“You think I would let you put my dragon lord down so easily[b]?[/b]” He pressed a button on his custom duel disk. “Staunch Defender, which forces all of your monsters to attack my Twin Headed Behemoth.” Tornado charged towards behemoth, hand raised. With a silent shout, it split Behemoth in half. “And you can’t attack ANYTHING else.” Ocean had been wasted. Breton cursed.
“Damn you.”
“Someone did that a long time ago…” He drew his card and smiled. “Time to end this. I activate my face down, [b]C[/b]all of the [b]H[/b]aunted, resurrecting my Twin Headed Behemoth.” The familiar dragon reappeared. “Now I tribute both my monsters to summon the second Dragon Lord. Behold Tyrant Dragon. (2900/2500).” The two dragons broke apart into shadows, which merged, forming a bigger shadow. The new shadow was over twice as tall as Darkblaze. It was brown, scaled. As it took form, it found itself to be to large for the room. It tore through the roof, and smashed the back wall with its tail. The floor groaned under the new dragon’s weight. Two long horns burst from its head, and a green gem was set in the middle of its forehead. It let out a roar and Breton was thrown to the floor by the force of it.
“Your beast isn’t strong enough to wipe me out.” Breton said, standing slowly and defiantly.
“I activate the spell card, Dragon’s gunfire. Since I control a dragon, you take 800 damage.” [b]A[/b] ball of fire shot outwards, striking Breton in the chest and tossing him to the ground. His life points dropped to 800.
“s***. That means… I-I-I.” He fell to the floor.
“Tyrant Dragon, attack Great Tornado.” The Dragon answered. A huge ball of fire shot out of its mouth, and the Hero exploded into pixels. Breton was tossed backwards into the glass. It cracked again. Breton cried out in pain. [b](So that's some really strong glass)[/b]
“You… you let me live…” Imrial laughed. [b](please stop doing this. when you do things like this, it looks like Imrial was speaking)[/b]
“No. Tyrant Dragon has a special ability. When he destroys one of your monsters in battle. He may attack another one of your monsters.”
“Why not attack Oce-“ He started to cry as he saw a crimson glow form in the Dragons mouth. “Stra- Straight away?” [b](why was he cut off?)[/b]
“Because… I wanted to see you suffer.” Imrial walked over to the desk and took the form that Breton had signed earlier. “[b]L[/b]ike I said. I will enjoy my life.” The dragon spat out a fireball at Breton. Ocean rushed to intercept. The explosion shot outwards in all directions, shattering the glass. Imrial heard the faint scream of Breton. Farewell.
Imrial felt the mark on his skin stop burning. The other Dragon disappeared. The rain was lashing into the battered and broken office. The glass was shattered, the ceiling destroyed. Imrial walked out of the office, and slammed the form into the wall on the outside. The wind [b]would[/b] only blow it away in the office… Slowly he walked through the silent and darkened halls of duel academy. Memories flowed back. Jaden, Chazz, Zane… none of them mattered now.
“Is it done?” Asked a man appearing out of the shadows.
“If it [s]wasn’t[/s] [b]weren't, [/b]would I be standing here?” Imrial said. The figure stepped out. It was another of those blessed by the 13. He bore the mark of Capricorn, the ram. He was short, barely up to Imrial’s neck. He wore a long black cloak, with a yellow glyph on the back. He had striking white hair cut above his eyes, and pale skin. His voice was soft, almost like the wind. His name was Jin.
“To true.” Jin said. Imrial kept walking.
“Serpentarius seems to be with us.” Imrial laughed. [b](you use "Imrial laughed" way too much)[/b]
“Serpentarius cares not what we do. We act under the command of the Seraph. Her word is law.” Jin and Imrial walked out into the storm. The rain began to buffet them, before Jin raised his arm. The mark on it glowed, and the thunder began.
“Is that so? You talk as if you know the 13 on personal terms?” The thunder worsened, a bolt of lightning [s]striking[/s] [b]struck (keep tense consistent) [/b]the ground in front of the two, slowly working its way towards them. [b](a bolt of lighting cannot work its way anywhere. After it strikes, it is gone)[/b]
“No. But I am as close as it could be.” Neither one of them spoke [s]words[/s] as the lightning struck them and they were gone.
High above, they watched. High above they plotted. High above they remained. And so it has begun…[/spoiler]

[b]Format your dialogue better. Don't switch pov. Work on description and word variety.[/b]

[Sanvitch]

Noted, changes will be made.
I need to proofread better. The changes in person should be italics to show they are thoughts.

Thanks for the help.