is this card effict phrased correctly?

[pfaccioxx]

a card I'm working on and plan to upload to DA in a little over a week
is the effect phrased correctly, if not could someone help me fix it?
the effect:

If this card is sicksesfaliy normal summoned you may normal summon 1 other monster this turn. This card is unaffected by card effects with the exception of it's own. Treat this card as a level 0 monster with no attribute. This card cannot declare or be declared as the target of an attack. Once per turn during your main phase you may tribute this card to normal summon a level 4 or lower monster from your hand.

[pfaccioxx]

[quote name='Riki Naoe' timestamp='1332442132' post='5883803']
Not really too bad, but with your spelling errors, it certainly looks that way. Anyway,

"When this card is Normal Summoned: You can Normal Summon 1 other monster. This card is unaffected by card effect except it's own. This card is treated as a Level 0 monster with no Attribute. This card cannot declare an attack. This card cannot be targeted for an attack. Once per turn, during your Main Phase: You can Tribute this card; Normal Summon 1 Level 4 or lower monster from your hand."

This is better and a little more like what a real card is like now, at least. Some things that should always be capitalized are all of the summons (Normal Summon, Flip Summon, Special Summon, or just Summon). Level, Attribute, Deck, Graveyard.
[/quote]

K thanks for the fix
I'll try to remimber those tip's
anyways if youer intersted in seeing the finel card I'll be uploading it to DeviantArt on Apr, 1st (same username as YCM)

[Nicο]

Not really too bad, but with your spelling errors, it certainly looks that way. Anyway,

"When this card is Normal Summoned: You can Normal Summon 1 other monster. This card is unaffected by card effect except it's own. This card is treated as a Level 0 monster with no Attribute. This card cannot declare an attack. This card cannot be targeted for an attack. Once per turn, during your Main Phase: You can Tribute this card; Normal Summon 1 Level 4 or lower monster from your hand."

This is better and a little more like what a real card is like now, at least. Some things that should always be capitalized are all of the summons (Normal Summon, Flip Summon, Special Summon, or just Summon). Level, Attribute, Deck, Graveyard.