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Keyblade War - Discord and Evil


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Mate, I'm not sure what to say. This is probably the most straightforward story I've ever written here.

 

Keyblade Knights hate darkness. Some of the knights thought, hey, maybe we should study this crap instead of destroying it immediately. Some of the others disagreed. They fought, the knights that wanted to study Darkness splintered off and created the Seekers of Darkness. The two groups hate eachother now. The schism is the fight that they had... because that's what a schism is.

 

Exactly where did I phrase something that could possibly make this unclear?

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Hahaha, calm down Fiendish Doctor Hydra. Yes, I am able to understand now, but please, don't talk down to me. Because you see, in real life, I actually do have a hard time understand some things. So with the way you're talking to me...it feels like you're calling me stupid...yeah...

 

Anyhow, I am about finished with my character applications, so I please ask if you could wait a little longer.

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Hahaha, calm down Fiendish Doctor Hydra. Yes, I am able to understand now, but please, don't talk down to me. Because you see, in real life, I actually do have a hard time understand some things. So with the way you're talking to me...it feels like you're calling me stupid...yeah...

 

Anyhow, I am about finished with my character applications, so I please ask if you could wait a little longer.

 

Well, it's been about 12 hours or so. I still don't see any differences. How much longer until I can finally be on your side with this?

 

Speaking of apps, I'm under Writer's Block right now, so expect my application to be done within the next few days. Thank God you're not giving us time limits for reservations anymore, Hydra. Or...are you?

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I was thinking of a slightly young Seeker, (16ish-ish). It would actually be Haku's youngest brother, subjected to Darkness, and all that, Time-users forcing him to age (+8ish-ish years), and infusing him with Darkness, when he was taken by the NeoShadows. This of course would've been by the more corrupt Seekers, who were "evil". He [the brother] doesn't have his own experience, but rather information "transferred" to him from another Seeker. The brother would have no memory he could recall before becoming a Seeker, but slowly he gets his memory back, Haku and him clash in battles, etc. (He has a small portion of consciousness remaining to him originally, and he can see the "Dark" portion of him controlling everything, and his own little remnant's getting crushed by the rest of the "Darkness" in his mind. Unfortunately, he can't fight the Darkness (as of now).). And something bad happens to one of them or whatever (not fatal or anything) and gets memory back. The brother would have small things that hint of his "Light" past, but mostly all Dark items.

 

***Didn't plan about the younger sister yet, although I will soon***

 

Would something like the above be fine? Or is it breaking rules?

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From what you edited, things actually make more sense, but still has some things I'm confused about. How would Diego and "ARMOR" create a time vortex after fighting only once!? You need to explain as to how that makes sense. If a Time Affinity was allowed (I forget if it is or not), then Diego would be the one to have it, replacing Lightning with it. But even still, Diego wouldn't have gotten strong enough to accidentally trap the two in a wormhole returning them back a thousand years. And what happens after Diego returns to the past? how does he end up with the Seekers of Darkness? You need to explain more in Diego's bio. Sorry, just pointing this out so that you're aware of another change to be made.

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If a Time Affinity was allowed (I forget if it is or not)

It is.

 

Hey Fiendish Doctor Hydra, by some chance I do happen to mess my character application again, is it possible that you can help me with my characters? I was re-reading them and I am still a bit shakey about them. So I was wondering, is it possible that you can help me?

Yeah, sure.

 

Would something like the above be fine? Or is it breaking rules?

 

As long as he doesn't get ridiculous godmode darkness powers out of it, I'm cool with it.

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Wait... Hydra, for Teiko (his name), he was 8 when he was captured, then forcibly aged around 5 years (to have a more "fit" body they can use as a Seeker), and they (the corrupt Seekers) trained him for the rest. So.... is the Mark of Mastery thing required? Because the Seekers tested him brutally over and over until he developed a Keyblade, then trained him again, brutally to enhance his skills, and aquire a "union" with the Keyblade, which they somehow took over with Darkness.

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Mark of Mastery is required for all full knights. It's fine if he's some darkness-addled berserker they've been keeping in their basement for years and never let out, but keep in mind the other characters will be curious as to why they've never seen him before, considering most knights know eachother at least by sight. Also the other Seekers would be pretty disgusted if they found out the truth behind his origins; they do have standards.

 

Keep in mind that a character that never learned proper Keyblade techniques probably won't have a very stable Rider, and probably wouldn't have any armor at all (I'm fine with your character not having armor given the circumstances). Considering he never took any of the normal disciplines, he's also not likely to have many spells, probably none that are not Darkness-related, and none that require a great deal of focus or complex forms.

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So I'm trying to keep him as an intelligent (when he's not "insane") person, and what I meant was learning the Keyblade techniques and "disciplines" of the Knights, but in a Dark-oriented fashion. And a small bit of him rebelling and such creating mental unstability sometimes. I want to try to keep him as an originally young character (8ish), but with armor, and some powerful, but hard to use sorts of magic. Do you have any advice Hydra?

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So I'm trying to keep him as an intelligent (when he's not "insane") person, and what I meant was learning the Keyblade techniques and "disciplines" of the Knights, but in a Dark-oriented fashion. And a small bit of him rebelling and such creating mental unstability sometimes. I want to try to keep him as an originally young character (8ish), but with armor, and some powerful, but hard to use sorts of magic. Do you have any advice Hydra?

 

There are no 'Dark-oriented' ways of learning Keyblade techniques; they're the same techniques no matter which side of the conflict you happen to be on. They're called disciplines because they take significant mental discipline to master- someone who tries to control the power of Darkness without sufficient willpower learned beforehand would find their heart eaten and broken in seconds.

 

My advice is to think of the ramifications of his situation- as far as I can tell, being supernaturally aged and educated by insane darkness-obsessed people seem to have turned him into a Super Soldier without any actual downside except some vague 'rebelling'.

 

So Hydra, did you say you wanted me to change Alexander's factional loyalties?

 

If you wanted, I'm fine with it. I don't think it's totally necessary.

 

Alright Fiendish Doctor Hydra, I just got done updating my second character application. So out of curiousty, do they meet the requirements for your role-play?

 

Well, you rewrote it. I guess it's a less confusing read than it was before.

 

The problems, however, really come down to Special Snowflake Syndrome. He's from the future! And his armor is made of Darkness! And he has an ancient bloodline power that nobody else does! And he has a spirit of Death itself in him! And he dual-wields! And he's younger than anyone else! And he's using the Kingdom Key (a key, that should be noted, doesn't exist yet. Kingdom Key was created at the end of Birth by Sleep)! And his keychain's a sliver of his own heart (even though that doesn't even begin to make sense)! And he's got a vendetta against this other guy! And he also suffers from incredible angst!

 

That Keychain doesn't really make sense either. You didn't actually list an event that made the keychain manifest, you just kind of continued his biography.

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The problems, however, really come down to Special Snowflake Syndrome. He's from the future! And his armor is made of Darkness! And he has an ancient bloodline power that nobody else does! And he has a spirit of Death itself in him! And he dual-wields! And he's younger than anyone else! And he's using the Kingdom Key (a key, that should be noted, doesn't exist yet. Kingdom Key was created at the end of Birth by Sleep)! And his keychain's a sliver of his own heart (even though that doesn't even begin to make sense)! And he's got a vendetta against this other guy! And he also suffers from incredible angst!

 

Lol, I thought of Ishida when I read this xD

 

First, Kingdom Key is Sora's keyblade. Nevermind it not existing, it simply belongs to someone else. Unless he kills Sora, takes the keyblade, then trolls it til it serves him, he shouldn't have it. And don't say he killed Sora, cuz that's just a recipe for some emo girls crappy fan fiction.

 

Second, why does he have armor made of darkness? That's just horribly useless (in my opinion only) as it seems like it'd protect from literally nothing, with the possibility of light. Seeing as the point of armor is to stop at least a little damage, you should maybe change this. Besides, while it is an interesting thought, it seems ineffective.

 

The keychain part... well, Hydra covered that.

 

Aso, why does he have a spirit of death in him? Not sure if you explained that, but even if you did, that's kinda dark for Kingdom Hearts, a game that almost always ends with a huge emphasis on love, goodness, and friendship. It'd be a good idea for a Devil May Cry RP, but it seems out of place here.

 

The ancient bloodline thing is a bit out of place too, but easier to tie in. The only real problem I personally see with it is that it gives you the option to make him super OP.

 

Not trying to be rude, but he kinda feels like all you really did was mesh a bunch of emo anime characters together. The character just seems far too familiar to me. He lacks a certain individuality I guess. If it were me, I'd say scrap or fix all that stuff and he's fine, though the time travel kinda bugs me, it's not a necessary no, but it's Hydra's call there, and I think I might have said too much as it is, sooooo........ yeahhhhhhh

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Relax Kio-kun. As a story-teller, I am not foolish to simply make an over-powered character. I've told plently of stories already to know what kind of character when I see one...after I usually read a Wikia on that character if they're form a game...like Final Fantasy XIII for example...

 

Anyhow;

 

Really!? Really!? No one thought the Armor of Darkness was cool!? PSSH!!! And I can't believe you guys can't remember Riku's armor from the first Kingdom Hearts games!! Bah humbug!!!

 

But getting serious here, just give me a little bit more time to modify some things around here.

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*facedesk*

I'm serious. You don't think your characters are OP'd? Oh hey, a completely fire resistant armor for one. :/

Your bios for either of them don't even mention the Schism.

Also, they are basically completely irrelevant to ANY KH story line, or KH even.

You have so many extra little stupid details that make it worse and are completely useless. Also, be realistic. Morphing armor? Darkness Armor? The list could go on, but I'm too lazy right now.

You basically don't even fulfill all of the criteria with either app. Get some experience. Not trying to be rude, but the apps are horrible. Get some experience, read stuff up, then try again. And at least make it relevant to the RP you're gonna post in. :/

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No one thought the Armor of Darkness was cool!? PSSH!!! And I can't believe you guys can't remember Riku's armor from the first Kingdom Hearts games!! Bah humbug!!!

 

Point of order: That's not Keyblade Knight Armor. That's just a bodysuit with a fun tropical skirt to remind us Riku isn't all work, no play.

 

Keyblade Knight Armor has three specifications to it:

  • It is summoned by pressing a plate located somewhere on the Wielder's person.
  • It protects against the Light and Darkness, but provides almost no protection against other kinds of attacks.
  • It covers the entire body- Except for the Seekers of Darkness, who purposely detach parts so they aren't so isolated from the Darkness and Light.

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