GENERATION III Posted March 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2012 [quote name='AkatsukiPride!' timestamp='1331849184' post='5872117'] Heres my app- [spoiler='Esgarth ex Inferno ']Name: Esgarth ex Inferos (ex Inferos being a title, but prefers just “Esgarth”) Faction: Good (Just kinda mean) Age: 6,675 Gender: Male Species: Western Personality: Esgarth is a defensive dragon, especially when protecting younger dragons. He tends to be rash and cruel to those who wish to hurt others. He can also be mean to about everyone. He speaks up and usually wishes to take control and tries to be the Alpha Dog, but knows when to give up. He doesn’t have much consideration for others, but will still protect anyone that wishes to hurt his friends and family. But if fighting seems pointless at the given moment, he’s not one to jump into battle. He doesn’t fight for fun, only for a cause. However, he tends to be sadistic when actually in battle. Powers/Spells: -Fire Breath -Lava Breath -Front-Limb Extension -Body leaks lava -Extreme body temperature - Corpus Igneus: Ignites the body - Saxa Liquefacta: Body turns to lava - Fortissimo Ignibis: Ignites area - Monte Inferno: Summons/Erupts/Explodes volcanoes or mountains - Subito Flante: Ground beneath and around user explodes into lava - Flante Mortem Inferno: Launches a giant ball of dark fire -Mea Inferno: Combusts everything for ½ a mile with dark fire - Adolebit in Inferno: Ignites Target in dark fire Color: Red Height (erect): 19 feet, 6 inches Length (nose to tail): 23 feet, 8 inches Wingspan (single): 24 feet Wingspan (full): 53 feet Wing Phalanges: 4 Other Description Details: Rocky body, jagged spikes down the spine and tail. Cracks in armor glow red with lava. Three claws on each leg, long curved talons. Pale underbelly. Hot scales to protect himself. Eyes glow. Teeth come right out of skull and are covered in armor as well. Muscled hind legs. Fan at tail’s end. Armor infused with iron and tungsten-Naturally fire resistant. Image: [url="http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/034/7/c/red_dragon_by_guzboroda-d4oi4n1.jpg"]http://fc09.devianta...oda-d4oi4n1.jpg[/url][/spoiler] [/quote] OP. too old to be that sadistic and not old enough to be that powerful. only evil dragons dip into dark magic so theres no way he would start out as good at all. he would be evil. and your spells need re-checking, and please explain what front limb extension is[quote name='Katoki' timestamp='1331771589' post='5870932'] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Name: Krushru[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Faction: Good[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Age: 2200[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Gender: Male [/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Species: Western[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Personality: Krushru is the Kind of dragon that rushes into everything without really thinking of what will happen. He also speaks without thinking and over all just says what comes to mind. He often likes to be the center of attention. He is usually nice to everyone else but because he says whatever comes to his mind he can sometimes come off as rude or disrespectful. He can also tend to not show respect to older dragons that haven’t proven then deserve respect. He doesn’t like listening to or following rules. Because of this and the fact that he says what comes to mind he usually gets in a lot of trouble.[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Powers:[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Fire Breathing[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Lighting Breathing [/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Color: White with black on the edges of his wings.[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Height: 7.5 ft[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Length: 12.5 ft[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Wingspan (single): 12 ft[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Wingspan (full): 26 ft[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Wing Phalanges: 4[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Other Description Detail: Krushru is fairly small but can handle himself in a fight. He is pure white but has black on the edges of his wings. What he lacks in size he brings up in the size of his wings.[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Image: Nothing fits[/font][/color][/size] [size=3][color=#000000][font=Calibri]Sorry it took so long to get in[/font][/color][/size] [/quote] you repeat the line "says what comes to mind" waaay to many times, and your description is inadequate. you also dont have enough powers. he should know more than that. you dont have to make him UP either. and for gods sake, spell check Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
宇佐見 蓮子@C94 Posted March 16, 2012 Report Share Posted March 16, 2012 Er... is my app accepted? I mean, i fixed it and everything.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GENERATION III Posted March 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2012 [quote name='Neko Miko <3' timestamp='1331880691' post='5872894'] Er... is my app accepted? I mean, i fixed it and everything.... [/quote] getting there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katoki Posted March 16, 2012 Report Share Posted March 16, 2012 Ms word didn't tell me anything was wrong with the spelling so cant help that bro. Is there a minimum for powers needed? I figured since he was fairly young he wouldn't have all that much. Does the description need to be longer? If so how much longer? Also what do you mean by 'You don't have to make him UP either'? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
宇佐見 蓮子@C94 Posted March 16, 2012 Report Share Posted March 16, 2012 [quote name='GENERATION III' timestamp='1331882397' post='5872899'] getting there [/quote] What do you mean by "getting there"? What's wrong with it? [quote name='Katoki' timestamp='1331882557' post='5872900'] Ms word didn't tell me anything was wrong with the spelling so cant help that bro. Is there a minimum for powers needed? I figured since he was fairly young he wouldn't have all that much. Does the description need to be longer? If so how much longer? Also what do you mean by 'You don't have to make him UP either'? [/quote] UP means Underpowered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GENERATION III Posted March 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2012 [quote name='Katoki' timestamp='1331882557' post='5872900'] Ms word didn't tell me anything was wrong with the spelling so cant help that bro. Is there a minimum for powers needed? I figured since he was fairly young he wouldn't have all that much. Does the description need to be longer? If so how much longer? Also what do you mean by 'You don't have to make him UP either'? [/quote] lemme rephrase: your sentence fluency is downright awful. i had to read it twice to understand what you were trying to say. hes almost the same age as Shuilong, my first dragon on page 1. you need to describe at the very least what i wrote down in the original app sheet. ignore that last one. UP means UnderPowered[quote name='Neko Miko <3' timestamp='1331883106' post='5872903'] What do you mean by "getting there"? What's wrong with it? [/quote] i mean i havent gotten to yours yet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katoki Posted March 16, 2012 Report Share Posted March 16, 2012 Uuh not really sure what to tell you there O.o don't know how to fix my 'sentence fluncy' or whatever seeing as your the first to mention that O.o usually it's the grammer or spelling that gets to people O.o Can't see spoilers right now so I'll fix it tomorrow my time. I wasn't trying to make him under powered just didn't want to give him all that many powers things._. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GENERATION III Posted March 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2012 look at shuilong for a point of reference, katoki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elƒie Posted March 16, 2012 Report Share Posted March 16, 2012 You know what would help Gen, doing an accepted app spoiler so all of the accepted apps can be easily found and used as references. :/ Btw, is my app accepted? It's post number 33, page 2. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AkatsukiPride! Posted March 16, 2012 Report Share Posted March 16, 2012 I attempted to fix it. Hope it's acceptable now. Should be post 43. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GENERATION III Posted March 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2012 you ppl are so impatient! im in the process of making an app spoiler and i havent finished critiquing all the apps yet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elƒie Posted March 26, 2012 Report Share Posted March 26, 2012 Gen.. It doesn't take that long to create a spoiler, read peoples apps and say whether they are accepted or not and what changes needed to be made... I'm having a feeling that this is just gonna get abandonded again like Sancta, which was moving along just fine, might I add. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AkatsukiPride! Posted March 26, 2012 Report Share Posted March 26, 2012 @Generation III: Yeah. Your taking [i]way[/i] to long. And you never said anything concerning my edited app. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yosuke-kun Posted March 29, 2012 Report Share Posted March 29, 2012 I'm gonna withdraw. I kinda thought it woulda started by now, but that's not my reason. I couldn't get an original character that satisfied me made. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GENERATION III Posted April 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2012 i will not drop this one, but i am on hiatus to catch my life up. just chill and keep the rp on the side until i come back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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