Kenshin Saya(My character)

[Jackel The Mad]

[img]http://i1195.photobucket.com/albums/aa396/NeoXRaven/AAAAAAAAAAAAA/The_Warrior_by_qiqo.jpg[/img]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Name: Kenshin Saya [/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Age: 17 [/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Personality: He is quiet and anti social. He was a very good student in school and practiced combat. His anti social behavior cause problems for him at school; he spent all his free time doing school work or training.[/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Gender: Male [/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Race: Asian [/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Place of Birth: Saigon, Vietnam [/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Date of Birth: October 31, 1556[/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Height: 5'6[/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Weight: 60 kg[/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Build: Slender[/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Eye Color: Light Brown[/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Hair Color: Black[/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]History: Kenshin was born in Saigon; he is the older of two kids. He started to learn martial arts at a young age; by the age of 14 he had nearly mastered Muay Thai, Sambo, and Aikido. Being the very anti social person he is he didn’t have very many friends and was often very lonely. On his 16[sup]th [/sup]birthday his brother and he were talking outside, where he over heard there parents talking about giving them to the government as slaves in return for there lives. That night in such a rage Kenshin grabbed his knife walked into his parents room and slit there throats while they slept. The next morning a squad of armed soldiers stormed the house taking his brother he managed to escape barely.[/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Language: Japanese, German, Russian. [/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Family:[/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Mother: Dead [/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Father: Dead[/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Brother: Alive[/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Identifying Mark(s): A Celtic cross tattooed on his left arm.[/size][/font][/b][/i]
[i][b][font=Arial][size=2]Fighting Style: Muay Thai, Sambo, and Aikido[/size][/font][/b][/i]

[i][font=Arial][size=2]Let me Know how I did.[/size][/font][/i]

[CinnamonStar]

This is a RP character, right?
Well the idea is good, I don't know all the martial arts or fighting styles you were talking about, but it seems like you know something about them.
The personality part needs more lines though. If you want to RP on this forum, you need some more character aspects, but I think it would need some more details anyway. He's quiet and anti-social, great. Maybe you could explain the kinds of problems he faced at school more and give him some more ways to act.
Maybe you could also dwelve more into the family constellations. If he really killed his own parents, it sounds like there's more dirt going on in the family. You probably know the book The Geisha and well...she coped with it in a different way. If you want to keep these, you could explain the motives.

So yeah, in short: The basic framework looks good, but I'd add some more history and personality descriptions.

[Jackel The Mad]

Thank you for the feedback and this is for a Story I am writing he is the main character and I will fix.