Aggro's One-Shot: When It's Over

[Agro]

So I figured that I wanted to write other things besides The Wanderer, and knowing that I wanted to write so much, but knew I couldn't maintain more than one full fic, I decided to use my extra time writing one-shots that'd hopefully get my creative juices flowing so that I can finish The Wanderer chapters faster and better. As far as the future of these one-shots... I don't even know. Maybe they'll become my next story, maybe they'll rot in the YCM fanfic graveyard. All I know is that I can write them.

Anyway, since you're reading this, feel free to ask for a certain theme. I'll only write fics about what I've seen and know I can write about, but suggestions are always welcomed.

Anyway we start out with this, my first one-shot. There's actually a secret to this, don't spoil it for the rest of the readers if you figure it out. If you want to know, then PM me or place your guess in a spoiler in a post below.

Enjoy Aggro's one-shots #1:

[spoiler='When It's Over']“Keep the line steady.” The man clad in black and grey whispered to the giant spider on whose thread he now dangled. “This is our last shot at this, we gotta make it count.”

He saw the arachnid’s head bob up and down, signaling it understood. The man wiped his brow from the droplets of water that had begun to condense below the brim of his hood, squinting down the side of the building he was about to rappel and hoping he wouldn’t fall like the rain that poured down around him.

“Ready?” The spider turned its head and managed to get at least three of its eight eyes focused on him in what he assumed was a sarcastic glare. A chill ran down his spine. Damn did he hate working with this thing, with those creepy eyes, poisonous mandibles… mandibles. “Alright then, go.”

At the order, the line was let loose from the Spider’s rear end and he steadily fell down the building, holding on and pushing off the side of the building bit by bit until he’d reached the first balcony, also conveniently, his targeted destination.

He landed smoothly, making sure to stand behind the cement wall instead of the curtains, lest someone inside be aware of his presence. Cocking his head to one side, he bumped the slim, feathered beast that had been holding on to his shoulder.

“Scan the room.” The owl hopped down from his shoulder and onto the railing, centering itself in the middle of the glass doors and stood still for a moment, the red glow of its supernatural abilities taking shape in its irises. “Anyone there?”

The owl twisted its head around and then back again twice as fast as if it’d been released from a spring. There was no one to hide from at the moment. The mission could go much smoother than he’d hoped. Maybe too smooth.

Curiously, but still ever cautious, he leaned over and peeked into the window himself. The bird was right; the room was empty. Looking at the sliding glass door itself, he frowned at the lack of a padlock. He always liked it when he could pick something. Replacing it was a keypad, unfortunately placed only on the inside.

No problem for him though, or at least for his fair feathered friend. “Little help buddy?”

The owl bobbed its head and jumped down onto the ground so that he could see the keypad through the glass. Within seconds, it deduced the correct sequence and the door slid open partially.

“Good job.” He winked at the owl, to which he was responded to with a mumbled hoot. Glancing back and forth, he slowly put his foot over the threshold to enter, listening silently for any movement, alas all he heard was a bell.

Quickly he jumped back and began closing the door, only to realize the bell’s origin. In the reflection of the glass as he’d began to close it, he’d seen it. A small girl wearing a white kimono floated nary a yard away from the balcony. It’s icy eyes reflecting an uncharacteristically fiery intent into him.

Stepping back and to the side, he looked at it without the reflection as guidance. Apparently that was enough to see through the illusion, or at least enough that the apparition allowed it. It’s true form was less than human, at least less than he’d remembered.

The yokai chuckled as it saw the confusion in his eyes and slowly levitated down to where he had been standing, placing itself in the opening of the door. Slowly it looked up at him as if he were missing something before bending over the threshold.

Common belief would say that it would not be able to enter, but that would not be its goal. Calm and cool, it began moving its hands in a weaving motion, carrying with it the creature’s abilities, that which he could feel as the air around him moved towards the point in between its hands.

Slowly, but surely, a very dusty and dark violet cloud formed itself in the spirit’s hands. Holding it steadily, she pushed it out onto the ground, right at the point of the threshold.

The cloud spread in a wave from that point, moving only into the room and enveloping the ground and walls, creeping up into the air as well and showing what it was that the yokai wished to reveal.

Chuckling once again, it floated on backwards to its original position and waved itself back and forth patiently.

“Trip wires.” The red lasers could be seen glinting through the smog, lining the floor like wires on a tennis racket. “Wow. I didn’t think they’d have those here of all places. Thanks for that.”

The ghost chuckled again before vanishing as a flash of lightning streaked across the sky.

“We’re in luck though,” he said as he took a step over the laser. “If the lasers had been in the air as well, I’m not sure I could have gotten through.”

The owl hooted once again before hopping in after him.

“Alright,” he whispered, making sure to keep quiet as to not disturb anyone who may have been sleeping in the next room. After locating the next door, he closed the one to the outside and made his way over.

The room itself was nice, an office, well maintained too, with oak cabinets and a polished desk, closed shut this time with an actual lock and key. This, though, wasn’t his goal, and so he exited the room, not even noticing the red flashing light on the sliding door waiting for the code to stop the security alarm from activating.

The next room was almost pitch black and if not for the specialized contact lenses he had on, he probably wouldn’t have been able to see a thing. That was good though. The lights being off in this room meant that the residents were all asleep.

He looked awkwardly around the living area of the apartment he’d entered. It was a two-story flat, this room being the kitchen, dining and living area. The only light coming from the door leading to the hallway, which he could hear voices coming from- thankfully none he needed to worry about- and from the only real window in the area, above the stairs and down a hallway.

He knew the area well, he’d been here, he’d checked over the blueprint of the rooms before coming. If he remembered correctly, the only living occupants should be upstairs, thankfully a story away from where he was headed.

He motioned for the owl to fly up to the top of the railing to watch the hallway as he crossed the room to the door he was headed for. Stopping at the door, he put his ear to it and motioned for the owl to fly down to him.

“Scan.” He told it as it landed at his feet. After staring at the door with that same empty stare, it bobbed its head. The coast was clear and so without hesitation, he opened the door and entered the room, making sure that his owl friend hopped in as well. Once fully in, he took a blutooth headset out of his pocket and put it on.

“You there, Erin?” He whispered into the mic.

“When am I not?” He chuckled at the serious tone she kept with her joke. “Are you in then?”

“Yup, in no problem.”

“No problems? A little ghost told me otherwise.”

He sighed at the sarcastic comment. Of course that yokai girl was with her, what else was new?

“Did you find it yet?”

“Not yet.” He scanned the room, this one a bedroom. “Looks like they were packing up.”

“Well we [i]did[/i] get word that they were moving, right? That’s why we came now in the first place.”

“I know,” He looked at the boxes filled with stuff they must have taken from their closet and wardrobe. “Didn’t think they’d have started packing up already though.”

“Are you going to have a hard time finding it? This was your idea in the first place after all.”

“No, it looks like the safe hasn’t been touched yet.”

The ‘safe’ he was referring to, was a rather large dresser, the middle part, where usually one might find a couple drawers, was replaced with a large metal box, a Masterlock lock holding it shut. He almost chuckled a bit at the look of it. A doily covered the top of it adorned with pictures of the family that lived there.

This was just an ordinary family, but alas they had something that he needed, something they couldn’t afford to lose in the scramble that is a family relocating.

“You might want your little birdie to open it for you.”

“No need.” He responded as he pulled his hand out of his pocket. “I can do this just fine.”

Within seconds, the safe was opened.

The man reached in, pulling out the small box that sat inside.

“Alright Erin, I’ve got it.” He told her as he closed the door. “I’ll be out in a minut-“

“Something wrong?”

The sound of wood creaking slowly descended from the adjacent room. Someone was coming downstairs.

“Did you alert someone?”

“No,” he said even quieter than before, slowly edging towards the back of the room, not sure exactly what to do. “I don’t know how I could have.”

“Did you turn off the alarm after you entered?”

“Turn off? No? What alarm are you talking about?”

He could hear Erin moaning at the other end. “The silent alarm from the workshop, if you don’t turn it off after you close the door, then it’ll warn them. Ugh, you idiot.”

He couldn’t debate that point. He’d been told, he’d just forgotten.

Silently, he listened to the voices on the other side, for there were two, a woman and a man.

“So was it opened?” The woman asked worriedly.

“The computer said it was, but there’s no sign of forced entry and the buttons on the keypad weren’t pushed. It’s probably just a malfunction, I’ll have someone look at it tomorrow.”

The husband’s answer let him sigh. For a second there, he thought he was going to get caught!

“So are you coming up to bed honey?” The man asked.

The response was delayed. “I… I’ll be up in a minute.”

“Alright.” That final response interested him, for it seemed rather solemn. Maybe the couple was going through a rough patch. In a way, he felt bad for having to take this from them.

But that remorse soon evaporated as he heard the screeching of wood, signaling footsteps that edged towards the room he resided in. The woman was coming towards him.

Scurrying, he backed into the closet, quickly motioning for the owl to fly in and take shelter in its upper shelves, and closed the door behind them.

As he knelt down in the closet, he closed his eyes tight and prayed that he’d get out of this without being caught. Through the skin of his eyelids, he could feel the light’s of the room being turned on, rays shining in through the cracks of the closet door like searchlights in a shrouding mist.

The woman was walking around the room, he wasn’t exactly sure where since the floor was more stable in this part of the building. She seemed to stand in one spot for a while though, apparently unaware of the intruder currently residing in her closet.

If only she’d leave, he could get the hell out of there!

Finally he could hear her moving again, but which direction? Her feet were too silent! Sick of it all, he leaned over to the crack in the door trying to look out and see what she was doing, and so she opened the door to meet him.

He stared wide-eyed and shocked, not sure what his next move would be. He locked eyes with the woman, deep green, much like his own. The first look was a horrible, lonely feeling, void of all hope.

“Lucas?” He could hear the voice in his head.

Lucas swallowed his saliva, not sure how she said his name without moving her lips. But there was something else off… the veins just around her irises were bulging, as if…

He looked up at the owl, whose eyes glowed red with the same sort of look that were in the woman’s. She was under some sort of trance, unable to truly see them, being right on top of them, but unable to know they were even there.

“Lucas?” The voice called again as the woman reached for the shelf, the owl stepping to the side to avoid her hand, which took a frame that had sat behind it. “Are you still there?”

Lucas wasn’t answering Erin, he was still too shocked at how close he had come to being found.

The woman took the frame and sat down on the end of the bed, looking warmly at the photo in it. After taking her time, in her own little moment, she finally lifted herself up, dusting off the glass of the frame and setting it on the dresser.

“Lucas?” Erin’s voice could be heard through the Bluetooth.

“Oh…” Lucas mumbled, finally getting the courage to move as the woman left the room. “…yea?”

Lucas pulled himself up and walked over to the end of the bed where the woman had been sitting, brushing the dust that had been gathered in the stuffy closet off of himself.

“Was that your mother?”

Lucas gazed solemnly at the photograph on the dresser, one of a young boy and two loving parents smiling happily at the child’s birthday party. “Yes. Yes it was.”

Erin didn’t bother responding on the other side. Even she had to realize she couldn’t know what he was going through, to be that close to your family, and be completely unable to allow them to know of your presence, of your existence.

Lucas walked out of his old bedroom, the owl flying after him and landing on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw his mother staring back down, looking over the empty living room that had once been so lively with a playful child. After finally losing interest though, she sulked so solemnly back off to bed.

“Hey, Erin.” He called through the Bluetooth.

“Yes, Lucas?”

“When this is all over, do you think I’ll be able to come back here?”

Erin paused, not even sure how to respond herself. “I’m sure… one day will come.”

Lucas smiled. Yes. Maybe one day.

“But Lucas, do you have the package?”

Lucas pulled out the little silver box and looked it over once again. Even he wasn’t sure what it was. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Alright, then come on back up to the roof.” Lucas smiled at the order. “The boss has a mission for us.”[/spoiler]

[Agro]

I can't believe I have to bump this to the top. Please comment, I want to hear what you think.

BUMP

[Catterjune]

Just for the record, none of the animals are talking, right? It's a little unlear but I'm assuming they're not talking because it makes the story less stupid.

So anyway, this dude's planning a heist or something with his animal friends, and apparently ghosts count as animals or something? He makes it to the thing and in a (shocking?) plot twist we find out it's his own house he's breaking into.

All I kept wondering for a majority of this was why was the human needed? The owl can fly, it could figure out the code for the lock, it could hypnotize humans, and considering it rests on Lucas's shoulder it's most likely smaller then he is and capable of hiding much easier then he can. Erin mentions the owl can even open the safe (“You might want your little birdie to open it for you.”) though whether or not she was being sarcastic was unclear.

I'm sure there's probably limits to the owl's powers or something but... honestly, look at it from the other people's perspective. You hear a rustling in your attic. Which would draw a less panicked reaction from you: seeing a man you didn't recognize or seeing an owl you didn't recognize? They seem to be people working in stealthy breaking and entering, so to have them miss the most obvious solution is just silly. Also, employing ghosts and big spiders and not sending them in instead seems equally farfetched. A human can typically identify another human. A human would find it difficult to identify one owl from another.

But yeah, enough about the minor details. The problem with the story is that I mostly don't really sympathize or feel anything for the lead character. I just plain don't know anything about him, except that he breaks into people's houses, and even that act in and of itself is morally ambiguous if we don't know what the people he work for or what the people he's stealing from are up to or even what it is he's stealing, why he's stealing it, etc etc.

Basically, you sacrificed emotional involvement for the sake of having a 'mysterious and vague' plot. It's just a bad choice. Showing something, a little bit of insight into what the company he works for wanted, what they told him about his family, what he thinks about Erin, his predicament, really anything. I've seen secuirty feeds with more emotional involvement then this story.

[i]in my opinion[/i]

[Agro]

Thanks for the review, Pika. I'll have to look over and make edits now xD

[Synchronized]

I didn't read it from start to finish because it was very confusing, but I did skim through somewhat. It's well-written, but I'm also very confused. Care to explain it to me a bit?

[Agro]

[quote name='- Sharpshooter -' timestamp='1328730161' post='5804741']
I didn't read it from start to finish because it was very confusing, but I did skim through somewhat. It's well-written, but I'm also very confused. Care to explain it to me a bit?
[/quote][spoiler='Secret']Know what a pokémon is? ;D[/spoiler]