Yu-Gi-Oh!: Terminal World [Chapter 4 is now up. Rep to constructive comments.]

[DARKPLANT RISING]

[center][size=6][b]Yu-Gi-Oh!: Terminal World[/b][/size][/center]

Yeah, everyone loves the DT storylines. Many people have said that they want to write its fan fic, but I’ve never seen a single one, at least in the Creative Writing section. So why don’t [i]I[/i] make it? Okay, so I’m not saying I’ll never stop writing 100% - I do have my school work – but I’m at least going to try. Besides, if I succeed I could be the first to achieve it. :3

Well, I first thought of writing from Synchro Awakening, but soon realized the “1st arc” of it (Worms, Fableds, Ice Barriers, etc.) was rather lackluster, and much inferior to the 2nd arc (Gishki V.S. Gusto, Lavals V.S. Gem-Knights, and Vylons V.S. Steelswarms) in terms of drama and such. So I decided to write just that. If I finish this and have time, I’ll write the 1st arc after that, but dunno.

On a side note, before reading this: Some parts of this are based on assumption. [s]Also, I wanted to make people in this Terminal World live much longer than in ours, so just know that. I’m thinking people nearly stop aging at around twenty, and from then on the changes are extremely slow. So, for instance, Gishki Noelia is about two thousand years old (this hasn’t been stated in the story yet, but I’m thinking like this – I had to make it so for some reasons in plot), but she has the appearance of an IRL woman around the forties. Overall most life spans are hella long compared to that of “here”. [/s] I decided to trash the above crossed-out idea. Instead, I just thought up something else that wouldn’t result in a dozen plot holes. But not telling that yet.

Also, I'm adding a list of the appearing IRL OCG/TCG cards and some “making” footnotes-ish stuff at the end of the chapter.

[b]From March 8th, I’m giving a rep to any constructive comment. Posts such as “Cool story” and “Nice” don’t classify here. “I liked this part of the story”, “I think this part of this story could be better”, etc. are. I’d especially appreciate grammar fixes – I’m Japanese, so I’m not that amazing at it.[/b]

[spoiler=List of Characters (Doesn't contain much spoilers)]
[b]Gishkis[/b]
A tribe originating from the Ice Barriers. A small number of Elders, including the younger Noelia and Vanity, left the Ice Barriers when Trishula was released. Using the power of the Aquamirrors and countless sacrifices of souls, they can transform themselves into the Evigishki, powerful creatures possessing amazing powers.
[b]Noelia[/b] – The queen of the Gishki Tribe, and a master sorceress who has lived for two thousand years using forbidden arts. While burning with hunger for power, she is also calculating and “never takes chances”, in her own words – a major reason for the current strong power of the Gishkis. A rather cold individual. Her appearance is approximately thirty to thirty-five years old.
[b]Avance[/b] – The strongest master swordsman of the Tribe. Blindly loyal to Noelia, he will commit any act if told to by her. Given the cruelty of most of her orders, it is often misinterpreted that he too is a cold being, but in fact he is doing things unwillingly. At times, due to this, he feels regret. Approximately sixteen human years old.
[b]Emilia[/b] – A Gishki Tribe member who had a relationship with Avance. Approximately fourteen human years old.
[b]Vanity[/b] – An Elder Gishki who has the same power as Noelia, often referred to as the Indemnity due to the fact that any plan he approves will always succeed. Vindictive. He looks about only twenty to twenty-five years old.
[b]Nereus[/b] – An Elder Gishki, and the King of the Mermen living among the Barrier Oceans. Due to his dreary and malignant personality, and the fact he always accompanied Noelia, he was nicknamed the Shadow.
[b]Marker[/b] – A member of the Gishki Council. A bit paranoid.

[b]Gustos[/b]
The Gustos are descendants of the Mist Valleys, and a tribe who associates with the wild life among the valley.
[b]Winda[/b] – A Gusto villager who met Avance in the forests.

[b]Lavals[/b]
The Lavals are a tribe born to fight, wielding powers of flame. They control the Laval Terrenes that cover a quarter of the continent.
[b]The Greater[/b] – The second-in-command of the Lavals. Given the Judgment Lord is now off to battlefields, he is in control of the tribe. A born warrior who lives to fight, but he is still intelligent, and acts as the chairman of the Round Table (a group that acts as the leaders of the Lavals). Approximately thirty-five human years old.
[b]Dual[/b] – A twin-bladed warrior of relatively high ranks who is in the Round Table. He is the best fighter of the tribe, that being the reason for his status, but is rather far from intelligent and can make reckless actions when he is angry (which he almost always is). However, his loyalty to The Greater and the Judgment Lord are stronger than that of anyone else. Also, he is nice to allies, and takes pride in fighting for what he considers is justice. Approximately twenty-five human years old.
[b]Cerise[/b] – A handmaiden of the volcanoes who was chosen as The Greater’s future wife several years ago, given her well-known beauty. Her favorite drink is “redberry juice” using berries taken and squeezed fresh from the Laval Forests. She spends her free time playing pranks on Dual, and during conferences, annoying him because “he’s the easiest to fool”. She likes to watch others fight, but never wants to herself – she enjoys her seat as a grand spectator of a game of life. She isn’t necessarily “evil”, but given she will do anything to make the world more fun for herself, can seem like it at times. Approximately thirteen human years old.
[b]Prominence[/b] – A master swordsman who ranks second, right below Dual. Unlike most of the other Lavals, he believes fighting is not an amusing sport, and he his techniques with his sword are, simply put, results of being a born genius. Still, he never says his true opinions for fear of demotion (and quite possibly, death). He instead tries to avoid fights in a way that doesn’t seem so (for instance, he told The Greater that the Gem-Knights will never fight back and the battle was pointless, so that he wouldn’t have to go fight them). Known for being the wisest Laval, he is trusted among everyone in the tribe. Approximately forty human years old.

[b]Gem-Knights[/b]
The Gem-Knights are a tribe which values justice and peace. For this reason, the Lavals have always hated them. The lands ruled by the Gem-Knights are known for being peaceful, due to the “Positive Energy” the Knights emit. For this reason, many people from other countries visit their cities to trade. There are three major Sub-Tribes to the Gem-Knights – the Garnets, the Tourmalines, and the Sapphires. The Garnets and the Tourmalines are the main forces in times of battle, and most of the Sapphires guard the cities. Each Sub-Tribe has a leader, addressed each as Ruby, Topaz, and Aquamarine (these are called the Masters). When a Master dies, several chosen Gem-Knight from the Sub-Tribe fuse together and form the new Master. All Gem-Knights have the power to fuse together with other Gem-Knights, and if the bond between souls is strong, with any animate.
[b]Ruby[/b] – A Gem-Knight Master who is in charge of the entire tribe. He is always calm to the point where he can seem even robotic, and emits an aura of unmatched authority.
[b]Halcyon[/b] – A Gem-Knight of the Tourmaline Sub-Tribe who is always around Ruby.

[b]Steelswarms[/b]
[b]Mantis[/b] – Several Steelswarms of this type invaded the Laval Terrenes.

[b]Vylons[/b]
[b]N/A[/b]

[b]Evilswarms[/b]
[b]N/A[/b]

[b]Stellars[/b]
[b]N/A[/b][/spoiler] [spoiler=Chapter 1]
“There was once a land of ice, my men.

There was once a giant empire the whole continent feared, a mighty force guarding the forbidden arts of the dark seas. One step into their boundary, and enemies felt icy cold seep into their souls and body. They wielded spells of various natures, and with their powers, guarded and expanded its territory.

As a ruler of millions, its system was perfectly organized. Perhaps it was unmatched in its sophisticated culture. Beasts did lurk near its cities, but they never harmed its inhabitants. The wizards instead tamed the beasts and fought alongside them for the greater good. Its leaders, known for being always thoughtful and fair, were well respected.

They were called the Ice Barriers. And they were one of the four high tribes that fought for supremacy, back in the history buried under layers of thick, white hoarfrost.

Even so, after years of ongoing war and invasion of the extraterrestrial beasts known as Worms, they had begun to weaken. Their warriors were powerless before them. Thousands of lives were lost. Eventually, there was only one way left for the Ice Barriers, and it was to use one of the two forbidden arts they had vowed to never unleash upon the planet again.

One of these two was the arts of the Aquamirror, a form of Summoning Spell that granted unthinkable power to its holder, in exchange for a large number of sacrifices. Another, the one they decided to let loose, was the Ice Barrier Dragons.

Perhaps you have heard of them; these powerful creatures, these incarnates of destruction that spread havoc wherever they went. Yes, they were extremely hard to control, and should they ever go berserk, the world itself would be at mercy. But the Ice Barriers decided they were skilled enough to handle these ultimate creations. Besides, most of them thought the Aquamirror, requiring tributes, was a cruel and evil art.

Of course, some of the Ice Barrier elders argued that even so the Aquamirror was the better move. They may require loss, but once that is paid, they have no need to fear. Compared to the Dragons which had the constant fear of going berserk, it was much [i]safer[/i]. Despite all this, not many agreed with them, and the conferences always concluded with releasing the Dragons.

First Brionac was released. A single breath from its mouth reduced the invaders to nothing but statues of ice. Still the invaders kept on coming, and so the elders moved onto Gungnir. It, too, was ridiculously powerful. It defeated much of the Worms. Eventually, with the combined power of the tribes, the Worms were extinguished. The elders, relaxed, thought they would never be forced to release Trishula, the final and ultimate dragon. In exchange for wielding powers which seemed divine, it was almost impossible to control.

All changed when the Fabled also came into the game.

Even after the Worms were defeated, these forbidden deities of malice still thrived on. In the end the elders were forced to unlock Trishula herself.

Again, the ones believing in the Aquamirror argued that now was the time. One of them, at this time completely sick of the elders, declared independence along with several others, and left the Ice Barriers.

But the elders didn’t listen. They believed in their powers.

Perhaps, they believed a bit too much.

Trishula certainly [i]did[/i] succeed in wiping away the Fableds once and for all. She certainly [i]did[/i] achieve her masters’ goal.

The problem was that she went berserk, contrary to the elders’ assumptions.

The mighty behemoth ravaged through the entire continent. Forests were reduced to nothing. Fire was covered in frost. The mighty empire of the Ice Barriers crumbled, collapsed, and disappeared into chaos. After seven days of spreading death and sorrow upon the universe, Trishula returned to the glacier where it originated from, and came to a long rest once more, leaving the entire world plunging into an ice age that lasted two millenniums.

Fools are fools. They will never stop being foolish, and we should never think about aiding them. Instead, we should go against them, crush them, and build our throne on top of their bodies.

I, Noelia, was one of the several elders that departed the thoughtless Ice Barriers and carved out my own empire for myself. No one realized when we broke the seal of the Aquamirror locked deep within the dark seas and took its powers for ourselves. I am one of the last of the Ice Barriers, but I have no intention to be like my ancestors and former allies.

Look! Now we, the Gishki, are one of the most dominant forces upon this planet. Now we are just as powerful as the Ice Barriers in their ancient days. The difference is, we have the knowledge they lacked, and we can still move on from here. We never rely on the unreliable. No matter how many fallen souls it takes, we will eventually dominate this continent, and turn this rotten world full of fools into a paradise of sophisticated intelligence!

Glory to the Gishki!”

And with that high cry, the queen stood up from her throne, and shook her fist to the heavens. Countless beasts, men, and those in between, roared in approval far below. With a sly smile, Noelia glanced down at her minions gathered in the underwater fortress of the Gishki she had complete control over.

Noelia turned her back on the deafening crowd, and snapped her bony fingers. A dimensional gate opened up in front of her; she slipped in, and the screams and echoes faded away.

Another step through darkness, and she was now in her personal chamber. This room wasn’t submerged like the last one; being still half-human, Noelia preferred the ground when she was at rest.

Walls of perfectly carved marble, illumination cast by sorcery, and at least a dozen neatly arranged glass shelves that soared up and touched the ceiling. The queen stepped towards them, and with a dreamy look on her face, took her time to look through her collection of myriad spellbooks, ancient artifacts, and mysterious bottles holding body parts and the latter. She bent down to open a shelf and take out a certain crystal bottle she was particularly interested in. This canister was much larger than most; about the size of a human arm.

Inside it she kept a rather special specimen one of her servants had found on land. According to him, it was “crawling through the forests in its hundreds”. He also reported that there was a much larger and similar creature with them, but it was much too bulky for him to track down and capture, so he had simply left it alone. Noelia had been disappointed at the fact he hadn’t even made a memorize vision of this particular monster, but (rare for her,) didn’t punish the particular servant. She was happy enough with this specimen. It was something she had never seen, or even heard of before.

The sphere-shaped specimen frozen in green liquid perhaps resembled an insect of some sort, but Noelia was unsure. It had six spiny legs, black armor on its back divided into three plates, and a tiny face with two blue eyes and a round mouth full of jagged teeth. Its size was approximately that of a man’s fist. But what made this so distinctively bizarre was the mark on its back, a mark that seemed to Noelia like a skull sprouting horns. One could even see it as an emblem or blazonry of some sort.

Emblem? Blazonry? Bugs didn’t have such things. At least, they weren’t supposed to. But this particular [i]thing[/i] had one, and at least to Noelia it didn’t seem like a simple mimesis or pattern in any way.

This was certainly a most interesting discovery. Noelia, feeling it may become important someday, softly placed the canister back into its place and shut the shelf. She would order her forces to research about it more. But today she had just made an important decision already – to attack and take over the opposing tribe living in the Mist Valley marshlands, commonly known as Gusto – and she thought she should focus on just that, at least for now.

Dark clouds were gathering over the continent. A storm was coming, and soon.

[hr]
Appearing Cards:
-Gishki Aquamirror
-Brionac, Dragon of the Ice Barrier
-Gungnir, Dragon of the Ice Barrier
-Trishula, Dragon of the Ice Barrier
-Gishki Noelia
-Steelswarm Cell
[hr]
On the note of Gishkis deriving from Ice Barriers: It’s not something I thought up; it’s officially so in the DT story.

Well, I decided to trash the idea that everyone can grow to several thousand years old in this world. Instead, I thought up something else, as already mentioned, and that’ll solve the problem of Noelia’s age too.
Noelia is certainly over two thousand years old, but not everyone in here is like that. Most “people” live for about the same age as in this world. Of course, there’s war, so a lot of “people” die in battle, but.
Anyhow, Noelia gained access to semi-immortality, yes, but I’m not going to tell you exactly how Noelia was able to do that in my version of this DT story. That’s for later on. :3
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Chapter 2]
A crimson eagle was perched high upon the top of a giant, burning tree. It cocked its head, and swooped down on mighty wings, glaring down at the lands it guarded as it flew through the blazing air; another blast of its wings, and it disappeared into the clouds soaked in red. Below the tree, a young girl sat daydreaming, sticking her feet in a pool of lava. She lifted a hand to part away her cherry hair blowing in the hot winds.

Flares swirled up and down everywhere in its thousands. Within innumerable workshops peppered among the land, the blacksmiths slammed burning hammers upon razor-sharp, obsidian blades. There were also the factories – factories where the ones of lower ranks labored all day and turned around the gears of the heavy machines that laved the white-hot magma from the depths of the raging volcanoes, and carried them to the lakes and rivers of lava stretching to the orange horizon. The sounds of swords and other weapons clashing everywhere never ceased. The warriors were fighting and practicing endlessly in the training hall, one of the largest buildings in the area – a colossal structure of well-carved bricks. Similar buildings were spread across the landscape, preparing the countless soldiers for upcoming warfare against the other tribes.

Everything was red, a bloody, inky red. That was what the Laval Terrenes were, and the only thing it was. Perhaps long ago, other colors existed here. But now none remained, save for on the bodies of several tribesmen carrying special blood lines. Perhaps the most famed of them was a particular leader of the clan known by the name of The Greater, second in command, now in complete control of the tribe now that the Judgment Lord had gone off to battles in other regions.

Now he, The Greater, the general in command of countless warriors, was sitting high upon a granite slab he called his throne, crossing his rocky arms blazing with flames of red and blue. Glowering down at his talking minions, he nodded slowly several times, tapping his armrests with stony fingers.

“But surely, Prominence,” he muttered, “I don’t think they’d last for another month. No one can.”

Below him, Prominence nodded at his master.

“That would be true for anyone except them, sir,” the master swordsman said. “The Gem-Knights are peaceful. A bit too peaceful, in my opinion. I haven’t seen a single record of them fighting.”

“Too timid?” a muscular warrior said on the right of The Greater. Flames licked across the two giant swords strapped to his arms. “If they’re worth fighting, they would fight back sooner or later. If they don’t, why not simply go for the others?”

“You think the Gem-Knights are weak, Dual?” a girl giggled on the other side of the room, left of The Greater. She sipped some redberry juice from a glass as if savoring the taste with a dreamy look on her face. “Oh you’re [i]so[/i] cute.”

“What do you mean-” Dual stood up from his seat. The air around him hissed. “…If I were you, I’d watch your mouth. You’re nothing but a Handmaiden of the Volcanoes. If I wished to, I could always–”

“Oh please,” The Greater muttered. “Stop it, Dual. You know you wouldn’t. You know who Cerise is.”

Dual glared intensely at Cerise, who simply went on sipping the juice. She giggled again innocently like the little girl she was. “Thank you, my lord,” she winked at The Greater. “And my future darling.”

“…Fine,” Dual muttered, and sat down again grudgingly, grumbling something about The Greater and his choice of women.

“Anyhow, Dual,” The Greater raised an eyebrow at his double-blade warrior, “I suppose I should answer your previous statement on the Gem-Knights. While there is no data of them ever fighting, there IS data on what they can do. They excel at the arts of fusion, and are quite worth the fight, I say. They probably harbor forces just as strong as the other tribes – they just don’t use it.”

“I can never understand them,” Dual grumbled. “Power is valuable because you use it. If you don’t…it’s just worthless.”

“The Gem-Knights use power as a tool of self-defense,” The Greater said. “[i]They[/i] believe it is worth it.”

“It isn’t,” Dual hissed.

“Anyhow,” Cerise sipped some more from her glass, “So – are we going to go on with the attacks? Or are we going to stop it as this [i]genius[/i] here suggests?” She sent a crafty glance at Dual, and grinned.

Dual tried to stand up again, but stopped. The Greater was glaring at him with eyes of lava. In his case, it was quite literal.

“I say go on,” The Greater said. Then, he looked at Prominence, who had been standing like a statue without a single movement for several minutes. “Say, Prominence,” he leaned down towards him on his throne, “What do you think?”

Prominence looked up, his face still an expressionless mask. “I think we should wait another week, my lord. If they start their attacks, we should go on as originally planned.”

Then, after a moment, he added, “But I doubt they would.”

That was when a servant of The Greater came dashing into the room, panting heavily. “Sir!” he cried. “Sir! Amazing news. Finally–”

“Holy Sophia,” Prominence whispered. “[i]Impossible.[/i]”

The Greater blinked at his servant. “What, Gunner?”

“The Gem-Knights have been spotted,” the servant yelped, flailing his giant arms mounting ablaze cannons, “On the outskirts of our territory! They have drawn their swords – and look ready to fight!”

The Greater widened his eyes. “…Fine. Finally, it is. Thank you, truly.” With a grin of satisfaction, he banged a hand upon his table.

“So matters have been set!” He roared. “The Gem-Knights have started their attacks. Dual, Prominence, inform this to the others. We will start our attack.”

“Sure, lord,” Dual stood up from his seat. “I…I always knew they would fight back. I will go inform this to the others. We will start our attack.” He lumbered out the door.

“Parrot!” Cerise called after him. “Liar!”

“…Oh shut – …whatever.” The sound of more lumbering through the corridor out.

Cerise giggled. “He’s so funny. He’s the easiest to fool and make fun of.”

Prominence’s face, normally a death math, held utter shock. The Greater was quite surprised to see him like that – it was the first time he had seen him like that – but didn’t point it out. Prominence wasn’t someone who enjoys talking. He decided to leave his silent warrior alone.

Prominence, mumbling something, left the room after Dual. The servant called Gunner saluted and left as well.

Only Cerise and The Greater were left in the room. Exchanging looks, they smiled to each other.



Dual was walking through the Laval Terrenes, looking for others to inform the news to. Strangely, he saw no one. The warriors were all gone.

Cocking his head and wondering what had happened, he looked around. There was only red, nothing else – and despite his relatively good vision, he couldn’t distinguish the difference between his allies and the lava. He was quite sure he was simply not seeing them, but something was wrong.

That was when he heard a high scream from his left.

Whirling around, honing his fighting senses, the twin-bladed swordsman glanced at the direction of the scream. And he gasped.

There they were – at least a hundred warriors with blades drawn, cannons and shields ready, in the middle of a gigantic fight. For a second, Dual thought it was just a fight among them – it sometimes happened when they were irritated and hungry for battle. If The Greater knew, he wouldn’t be pleased. Dual knew that The Greater wasn’t amused at his words against Cerise, and he didn’t want to irritate his lord any more. He had to do him a favor.

“Hey,” he called. “Laval comrades! This is order of The Greater. Immediately–”

He stopped. He had seen something that definitely WASN’T a Laval warrior.

It was a black, armored, humanoid insect. Hissing, snapping jaws filled with jagged teeth, it slashed down with its sharp scythes. One hit the armor plates of a Laval. Dual thought it must be some new type of wild beast that had come here by accident, and that they would be no match for his forces.

Then, to Dual’s horror, the armor split as though it were made of jelly, and the Laval warrior was as well. The others cursed, and kept on fighting, slashing and thrashing. None of the attacks had any effect on the beast.

And, it wasn’t only that one. There were at least a dozen of these creatures, relentlessly striking down the warriors as though they were domino blocks. Dual was dazed for several seconds, but realized: These weren’t normal beasts. And he had to stop them. For The Greater, for the Laval Tribe, and for himself.

“Hey, you ugly insects!” Dual roared as he marched towards them. “You think you can beat us!? NEVER!!”

He dashed towards the rampaging chaos.

The other warriors, upon seeing his arrival, roared with joy and kept on fighting even harder. Swords jabbed. Cannons flared. Dual jumped into the battle, and his blades flared up. He slashed.

His blades hit the armor of a beast, which screeched and foamed its mouth. Hard armor – way, way harder than Dual thought. Harder than any shield he had ever ripped apart in two. But there was a reason he was called the best warrior of his tribe. Dual focused all of his power on his arms, and the black armor on the creature melted away with the heat. With white-hot arms blazing with power, Dual ripped apart the creatures one by one. Whenever one of them fell, a black, thick mist flowed up from the kerfs, flying up into the crimson clouds and disappearing.

He had killed six – about half of the invaders – when he lost it.

Dual had chopped apart the sixth of these insects, and was looking around to demolish the seventh.

None seemed to be there. The other Lavals were looking around too. That was when one of them screamed, and shot a finger up.

“Master Dual! Watch! Above!”

Dual realized the weak sound of something buzzing. With a start he jolted and glanced up.

The seventh creature was right above him. Gaping open its jaw, green saliva foaming, scythes ready, it dropped down for the kill.
[hr]
Soaring Eagle above the Searing Lands
Laval Forest Sprite
Sweltering Heat Conduction Field
Laval Miller
Laval Judgment Lord
Laval the Greater
Prominence, Molten Swordsman
Laval Dual Slasher
Laval Volcano Handmaiden
Laval Gunner
(Sophia, the Creator)
Laval Warrior
Steelswarm Mantis
[hr]
Naming the Laval Volcano Handmaiden "Cerise" and making her The Greater’s future wife is just something I thought would be cooler. So is how The Greater is second-in-command. But it works fine doesn’t it?[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Chapter 3]
“Thus, I believe,” Noelia mused. “Only one condition is left. And that, too, will be soon found.”

The Queen sat on her throne at the end of the long table, her bony legs and arms crossed, her silk dress draping about her like an animated shadow. Wearing a flamboyant smile, she looked around at the other Nobles. Raising heads – some human, some inhuman – they nodded in agreement.

“It is settled, then,” a humanoid creature with two pairs of glaring orange eyes and a fish-like gaping mouth gurgled. “The time has finally come.”

“I don’t think so, Nereus,” a man with the face of an octopus thinned his eyes. “We cannot rely on what has not come yet. I do not think they will really come back to Earth and–”

“Do you [i]really[/i] think so, Marker?” A dark-haired man sitting next to Noelia raised his eyebrows. “At least [i]I[/i] think it is going to start. My calculations state there is no way this is not the time.”

The Gishki Marker tried to say something in response. But he just muttered a curse and looked away. With a satisfied look, the man turned to Noelia.

“Any other possibilities for the Legacy?” he asked. Straightening his formal Ice Barrier clothing, he shot a glance at the Queen. “I am yet to believe the last proposed suspect is truly the one.” After flicking a piece of dust off his clothes, he added, “You know what that means.”

“Well,” Noelia smiled slyly at the four-eyed beast. “Nereus here says there is another, new possibility. Would you be kind as to tell us?”

“As you say, my Queen,” the creature said. He raised a hand, and from it floated out a bubble reflecting a scene in the Mist Valley Battlefields. A girl, hiding in bushes. Sobbing.

Vanity raised an eyebrow.

“This girl is the prime suspect,” Nereus grinned. “As far as we know, she has all of the aspects. Once the Allies return and…”

“Wait,” Vanity raised a hand. “Scroll out on the Vision.”

Nereus eyed the second-in-command of the Gishkis. He nodded and widened the vision of the bubble.

The bushes were in a lush Gusto forest. To the normal eye nothing was special with it, but the Lords knew where this was.

“I see,” Vanity nodded in satisfaction. “It’s quite safe to say she’s already dead.”

“Why?” Marker frowned at Vanity. “Assumption can lead to–”

“It’s Area Seven, Marker,” Noelia gave the merman a wicked eye. “I dispatched [i]him[/i] there.”

The table went silent.

“He is a good boy,” Noelia smiled. “A very good boy.”

[hr]

I slashed down, and the man split in two.

Flicking my blade, I whispered a spell; the blood was wiped off it, rolling into the air in spheres of crimson. Glaring around, I saw the enemy villagers fleeing off into the deep forests of the Mist Valley. Behind me, I heard the others throw the carcasses into a bag to carry to the Altars – thump, thump, thump.

“Enough sacrifices?” I asked behind, still focusing eyes on the fleeing victims. “Or should I go for more?”

“Queen Noelia wishes one hundred, Sir,” one said. “So far, ninety-six.”

“Four more to go, eh?” I grimaced. “I see. I’ll be back soon.”

And I took off.

The trees whisked past me. Through the intertwining vines and branches, I caught a glimpse of several Gusto villagers running off. Four were out of reach. Six could be easily tracked down, but it was still a race against time.

Then, one of them, a young boy probably not ten, slipped on a vine and fell face-flat.

Easy. The first was him.

I sprinted forward, readying my blade. It gleamed bright in the forest lights. My leather boots sent me flying across the forest floor, each stride bringing me closer and closer to the target. And-

Suddenly, something snapped at my feet.

Cursing, I glanced down – and saw my feet entangled in vines. And below it, slowly opening was a trap hole. I thought I saw several ghastly faces with yellow flashing eyes, grinning up at me from the eternal purple darkness stretching onward in there.

Not [i]that[/i] one.

Just then, three armed warriors dropped down from the above canopy. Readying their blades, they advanced towards me. I saw the boy rise up and stick his tongue out at me. Giggling, he flew away into the shadows.

There wasn’t a moment to lose.

I called the Incantation of the Trap Stun, and cast my hands upon the gaping pit. Sparks flashed from my fingertips, flew into the abyss; with a crackling sound, it slowly closed again, into a slit, then into normal soil. The vines withered at my feet. Kicking my boots into the air, I advanced towards the gasping enemy soldiers.

I cleaned them all up before I could count to five.

And right. Only one more to go.

I would have gone for the boy, but he was gone. I circled around several times to see if there was anyone, but I couldn’t catch a shadow.

I was about to move on, when I heard the rustling of leaves nearby.

I looked in its direction. Something was hiding in the bushes. I thought it could be some animal native to these forests, but I saw some green clothes. I half-suspected a trap, but there were the Seven Tools in my pockets for emergencies. I closed on.

I heard sobbing.

Just in case, I didn’t go straight for the kill. I first slashed away some of the bushes, and grabbed it up by the roots. If it was a trap, I’d know it then.

It wasn’t. Nothing was special. A girl, sobbing and burying her face in her knees.

To be honest, it wasn’t my style to kill someone who didn’t seem to want to fight me, but it was Queen Noelia’s order. I couldn’t say no.

“Sorry, I should say,” I readied my sword. “But believe me, it’s not like I want to do this.”

The girl didn’t pay any attention to me.

“Bye,” I whispered. “Hate death, not me.” I prepared to plunge down.

That was when the girl looked up. Eyes puffy red, she blinked and gazed at my face.

Then, she suddenly shot her arms forward, and flung them around my legs.

“I don’t want to die,” she sobbed, her back shivering. “…I don’t want to die.”

I gasped. No – it was impossible. How could it be so? How could the world be so cruel?

[i]I don’t want to die?[/i]

Thinking back, it was all to blame on those words. If she had worded it differently – even a single word was fine – I wouldn’t have stopped. In fact, if it was “Please don’t kill me” or some other thing, I would have just ignored her pleas and stabbed through her.

But those words were…

That second, it suddenly came to me: It was impossible to run from the past. It was impossible to escape from my faults. This was my destiny, and I couldn’t fight it off. A blade can slash through men, perhaps – but how can I kill something conceptual?

Time stopped. I could hear nothing but the birds chirping upon trees, and the battle cries from far away. I was silent. My arms dangled by my sides.

[i]Kill her, [/i] one side of me said. [i]You’ve murdered hundreds like her. How different is she from them? Just because she…[/i]

But I couldn’t.

I felt my eyes burn. On the other side of my eyes I saw the other day, the worst day of my life. I saw [i]her[/i] crying at me, crying her eyes out, as the guards took her away. I remembered her screams from the chamber. I remembered my own tears.

I was a cursed, awful fool.

Once, perhaps god can forgive. Twice?

“…How could I, Emilia,” I muttered. “…How could I?”

I crumbled down. Suddenly my sword felt so dreadfully heavy. No, it wasn’t the weight of the metal – it was the weight of my sin.

The girl raised her head, the same height as mine. Her face held surprise.

I chose this path. I wasn’t going to turn back either. I let out a shudder, and looked straight in her face.

This wasn’t a matter of tribe. This was a personal matter, and no matter what I’d go into after this, I wouldn’t care. This was all I could do for atonement.

“…The others of my tribe will come soon,” I whispered to her. “Come with me. I know the best place to hide.”

The girl blinked. “Why–”

“I can’t kill you,” I stood up. “Neither can I let you die here. Trust me – I need to help you. Forget what I said about killing. I…I just need to do this.”

“But–”

“But what?”

“But…”

The girl seemed too stunned to speak. She wiped her tears off her face with her sleeves. “…Um, nothing!”

She blinked. “Uh, um…and, thank you, I guess.”

“Kay,” I stood up. “There’s a village my tribe hasn’t attacked yet, and won’t attack for some time. It’s safe there. Let’s go.” And grasping the girl’s hand firm, I headed forward.

I knew this was wrong. I was never rebellious to my tribe, and neither did I ever think of hating it. But still, I felt that if I had killed her right on the spot, I would have also killed myself.

“What’s your name?” I asked as we ran through the forests. We jumped over a trap and kept on running. The girl swiped her green hair from her face.

“Winda,” The girl said. “My father named me. …Yours?”

“Me?” I laughed. “Me…”

I looked at her, and wondered if I should tell my real name. But I could tell that she was at least telling the truth, and I decided it was best to do so to her too.

“Avance,” I said. “Avance of the Gishki Tribe.”

Then, I grimaced and added, “Queen Noelia named me.”
[hr]
Gishki Noelia
Gishki Shadow
Gishki Marker
Gishki Vanity
Gishki Avance
Bottomless Trap Hole
Trap Stun
Seven Tools of the Bandit
Winda, Priestess of Gusto
Gishki Emilia
[hr]
Yeah, I played around with the story around here a lot. I decided Avance would fit best as the storyteller of the Gishkis, and his backstory would prove nice.
[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Chapter 4]
Dual had seen countless deaths before. Some of his allies, and a majority, his enemies. He had never thought of counting them, but the number probably rose to its hundreds, or perhaps even its thousands. Still, he never thought of the death of himself. It seemed just so impossible.

But what was happening now?

Death was falling from right above him, with beastly jaws foaming, razor-sharp scythes ready. Something was wrong. He couldn’t die now. More like, he could never die. He could never allow it.

Just as Dual tried to raise his bladed arms in a final and desperate attempt to save himself, a ray of yellow, sparkling light came flying from nowhere. The creature above was blasted away, smoke trailing from a ripped leg. Screeching, violently flung over some astonished Laval warriors, after circling several times mid-air, it dropped – plop – into a pool of boiling lava. After a moment of astonishment among all the Lavals, with another screech, the beast flew out again, flailing its scythes. To Dual’s relief, the damage had melted most of its armor plates, and black mist was flowing and flowing from its countless wounds. Dual readied himself to deliver the final blow. He would thank whoever saved him afterwards.

But then, another blast from nowhere ripped apart Dual’s plans. The crimson light blast apart a wing of the beast, which, with a cry, went spinning down again- this time, into the midst of the raging Laval warriors. In no time it had been ripped to pieces, and became nothing but a heap of black armor and slime with smoke trailing from its sides.

Seven of its brethren were still alive – four buzzing above, three on-ground, but before they could act again, more bullets of light penetrated them all, save for one. Just one of the flying creatures dodged the attack, but the rest were all blast apart, spraying black vapor. The final creature hissed in fury, but spun around and disappeared into an explosion of dark mist before it could be attacked any more.

Dual looked around, trying to get a glimpse of the new ally. And he saw them.

Dual blinked.

There were several warriors standing there, wearing armors of many colors. Some of them were carrying staffs of power, from which scarlet energy glared. From the fingertips of others crackled golden energy bolts. And all of them were all glancing at the Laval warriors with mixed expressions.

“…Gem-Knights…?” Dual blinked. “Why…?”

“Dual of the Lavals?” One of the red Gem-Knights, one much larger than the rest, took a step out of the others. Blue cape trailing behind, crimson armor reflecting the flickering flames of the land, he stepped over the carcasses of the beasts and came walking closer and closer to Dual. Dual thought of attacking, but realized he was too exhausted to fight any further. Besides, the Gem-Knights had saved him, after all. He was unsure exactly why they did it, and didn’t expect a potential ally, but it was best to let this Gem-Knight approach him.

The Gem-Knight came over to Dual, and opened his crystalized lips. “We wish to speak with The Grater. I hear you are a powerful warrior of your tribe – can you perhaps lead us to him?”

The other Lavals around Dual readied their weapons. Blades flared up. Cannons focused. The Gem-Knight raised an eyebrow (or at least, made an expression that seemed like so to Dual – they didn’t [i]have[/i] eyebrows). Sensing there was no way they could kill this Gem-Knight without harm, whatsoever, Dual glared at his men once – and it was enough. Looking at each other, the warriors lowered their weapons down again. As much as he wanted to kill these Gem-Knights too, Dual wasn’t going to give another reason for Cerise to make a fool out of him. He had to stay calm – calmer than he had ever been to anyone, anywhere.

“Your name first,” Dual hissed.

“Ruby the Eighth,” The Gem-Knight said, looking down at Dual, and now that he and his troops were closer, Dual suddenly realized that the Gem-Knights were abnormally large. The Gem-Knight who called himself Ruby was at least two heads taller than normal men. Even the others which seemed small from a distance were one size larger than the Lavals. To Dual, they seemed like giants able to crush him any moment, and wondered even more why they had never thought of fighting back until now. “Ruby the Eighth, Commander of the Garnets. We seek to speak with The Greater and–”

“Wait,” Dual blinked. “Why…Why do you know the Judgment Lord is away?”

“Is anything wrong?” Ruby thinned his eyes.

“We never told anyone the Judgment Lord isn’t here,” Dual said. “Why do you know?”

Silence fell. Ruby seemed to be in thought for a second, but then turned around and called one of his men. The Gem-Knight, wearing golden armor and carrying a veiled box made of wood, approached and told something to Ruby in a language the Lavals couldn’t understand. Ruby nodded slightly and turned back to the Lavals again.

“I see,” Ruby said. “You do not know, then.”

Ruby raised a finger. “Fellow Laval warriors,” he continued, “We wish you never – never strike without thinking upon seeing what we shall present to you. For this is not our fault. Look. …Halcyon, show them.”

The golden Gem-Knight unlocked the box. Dual flinched.

“…Don’t tell me…” he muttered.

Halcyon handed the box to Ruby, who opened it and, after a deep breathe, showed what was inside to Dual.

Inside was a red cloak with black stains here and there. And, the severed head of –

“…Impossible,” Dual whispered. The next second, his shock turned to anger.

“Who did this!?” Dual roared at the two Gem-Knights. “…Who…”

The other Lavals realized something was wrong. They rushed to see what was inside, and upon realizing, screamed and drew their weapons.

“Oh, please,” Ruby hissed, “I just said, this isn’t our fault. Let me explain.”

He coughed once and began. “See, we had just decided your attacks were unacceptable. We decided to start our counter-attack, and to do so, we moved our forces towards here. During the anabasis, we realized there was a half-deserted army camp of the Lavals. While looking through it, we found this. We decided it was best to return him to where he belonged. I assume he would be happier to rest in peace here.”

Dual was in thought for several seconds, but sighed and nodded. “…I see. True. I cannot believe he truly fell in battle, but if so...my apologies.”

The other warriors apologized too. Most were reluctant, but Dual’s will was theirs.

“Even so, we were going to go on with the attack,” Ruby said. “After we returned this, it was scheduled that we will still go on with the war. But all that changed when we realized it was the Steelswarms that killed your lord.”

“The Steelswarms?”

“Some call them the Inverz,” Ruby muttered. “Those insect-like beasts of darkness we just fought. Just recently they suddenly appeared out of nowhere – and are now invading various parts of this continent.”

“I don’t understand,” Dual scratched his head. “They look like mindless beasts, just like all the others lurking about the forests. They seem as bright as a Worm Beast. What do you mean by ‘invade’?”

“If only we knew,” Ruby sighed. “We know nothing. What they seek. Who, or what, controls them. Where they came from. Their true identities…

“But still, one thing is quite clear: The Steelswarms are a major threat. Not only to us, not only to you. The world is at danger. You may be still disbelieving, but look at the truth: The Judgment Lord is dead. He was killed by them. Some of the Steelswarms are even stronger than the ultimate Laval warriors.”

Dual was speechless. He had already lost all will to speak back. Though he was never the brightest of his kind, he was beginning to realize what he had to fight. And it wasn’t the Gem-Knights.

“Already much of the central regions of this continent are taken into the shadows,” Ruby went on. “Where they go, the plants rot and die. The animals become bone. And when they move on to other areas to conquer, all left is a barren wasteland that would make you want to flee to the Zombie World.”

“What should we do, then?” Dual said. “I understand the power of the Steelswarms. The last battle was the only one in which I thought I would fall… How can we stop them?”

“Of course,” Ruby chuckled. “There’s only one way left – isn’t it so?”

“What?” Dual blinked.

“See, Dual,” Ruby leaned down. “We came to fight. And we are going to. But not against each other.

“Let us unite. The Gem-Knights and Lavals together will become a powerful force. A force perhaps strong enough to drive the Steelswarms back to their abyss.”

Then, he added a smile. “You wish victory, do you not?”
[hr]
Steelswarm Mantis
Laval Dual Slasher
Laval Warrior
Gem-Knight Ruby
Gem-Knight Garnet
Gem-Knight Tourmaline
Laval Judgment Lord
(The Wicked Worm Beast)
(Zombie World)
[/spoiler]

[Brinolovania]

Yay Darkplant writing

The first chapter looks really good.

That's all I got because I suck at writing so no feedback there.

[Not-so-Radiant Arin]

I didn't want to write a full review like I usually do because I'm not in the mood to feel like writing for an hour straight on end when it's probably going to just backlash into my face.

The way the story was set up was incredibly concrete, even if you skipped the part involving the Worms and the "lesser" archetypes from the first Duel Terminal Series. Having a good strong start is one of the best things about writing. However, it is unclear as to who Noelia is talking to in the monologue. Is she talking to us, as the audience, breaking the fourth wall to reveal more about the story, or is she talking to her comrades during a meeting (which is the sort of feeling I got from reading it)? If it's the former, make sure to play your choices carefully. If it's the latter, then I would understand it a lot more, but using every single pronoun in existence in the monologue might confuse some of your readers, mainly me.

I also noticed a bit of grammatical structure that didn't really suit me at all, mainly the concept of passive voice. Passive voice is the number one killer in writing, and yet some people don't even realize that they are writing Passive Voice until someone points it out. For example:

[color=#5A5A5A][font=tahoma, helvetica, arial, sans-serif][size=3][quote]Much of the Worms were defeated by it. [/quote][/size][/font][/color]

[size=4][font="arial, helvetica, sans-serif"]Even though the predicate and the subject were made definitively clear in the last sentence, in this sentence, the action here is passive rather than active, thus the problem with Passive Voice. You wouldn't say "The ball was thrown at Juanita", you would say "Julie threw the ball to Juanita". Consider revising these sentences. The easiest way to spot possible Passive Voice sentences in your writing is to look at all of the sentences that have "was", "were", or "be", and see if they are the connecting verb (this is advanced shizzle by the way). If they are, it probably is a case of Passive Voice and needs re-correcting.[/font][/size]

[font=arial, helvetica, sans-serif]Other than that, though, the passage looks terrific. Phantom Roxas had always been talking about making a DT Fan-Fiction, or at least a piece of work detailing the stories behind specific cards (I remember him talking about doing a story for Dai Grepher), so it's glad to know that someone else was able to pick up where he left off.[/font]

[Phantom Roxas]

Glad to see a DT fanfic here. Like Xiahou mentioned, I've been planning one, but it's a very low priority compared to the other Yu-Gi-Oh! stories I'd like to write, and for the record, I'm far more interested in Eria and Gagagigo's stories than Grepher's.

There really is no point in doing a commentary because this was written very well for the most part, but this whole chapter was exposition, from Noelia's speech to her examining the Steelswarm Cell to the narration setting up the invasion against the Gusto. Noelia's speech is basically your way of saying "I don't want to write the first saga, so here are the details that relate to the Ice Barriers." It just seems like you're more interested in establishing a backstory that sounds more interesting to read in full detail rather than setting up a story we want to continue to read. In spite of that, I'll definitely be following this.

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

Yay, potentially good YGO fanfic on the starboard side...

That's called Terminal World... ack...

*has a heart attack*

...

...

Right, interesting read. Noelia's address I thought was fine. It did start with 'my men' so assumed it was addressing an army, but it did also make me feel part of that army.

The scene with the Cell was well done to, nothing over the top but just sort of a 'hmm... that's odd, but I'm sure its nothing to worry about'. In an ominous sort of way. I'm excited by the potential of a character like Noelia; getting her right could be a very important factor in this story's success.

Didn't end on a particularly dramatic note though, even though it was with the threat to the Gusta. Even if it was just a paragraph of men sharpening spears, perfecting their rituals and sacrifices, etc, etc, would have just amplified the mood ahead of 'the storm was coming'. That's my one critisism, but otherwise a good first effort.

[DARKPLANT RISING]

[quote name='Verz Bahamut' timestamp='1327860493' post='5787654']
Even if it was just a paragraph of men sharpening spears, perfecting their rituals and sacrifices, etc, etc, would have just amplified the mood ahead of 'the storm was coming'.[/quote]
That was sorta how I planned to start off chapter 2

On Xiahou's note, fixed. I sorta suck at grammar, 'cause well, yeah, duh.

Thanks for the feedback guise.

[b]EDIT: Wouldn't use that for Chapter 2.[/b]

[~British Soul~]

i like this, i was thinking of doing a DT fanfic myself

it is an interesting read, i'll be awaiting future chapters to see how this fic develops. As for the grammar, it may not be perfect, but you done a good job regardless.

[DARKPLANT RISING]

Thanks/bumped.

[Not-so-Radiant Arin]

[quote name='Darkplant - VENOM' timestamp='1328226113' post='5796001']
Thanks/bumped.
[/quote]

When are we expecting Chapter 2, good sir?

[DARKPLANT RISING]

In several hours I'm going on a vacation, and I won't be coming back till the 5th (or 4th in the US). I dunno, but I've written about half of it so far.

[DARKPLANT RISING]

y u no post ppl

[Dementuo]

First chapter is excellent stuff.
Make second and I'll explode.

[Legend Zero]

I saw, I read, I liked.

Though, my love for DT is blinding me.

[DARKPLANT RISING]

Thanks guise.

Wanna write more, but big tests are near. Don't think I'd be update soon - sorry.

Chapter 2 is scheduled to be set in the Laval domain.

[Phantom Roxas]

So each chapter will introduce the various tribes? Sounds good.

[DARKPLANT RISING]

Well, so far yes. Chapter 1 is Gishkis (since I thought they will be the main cast, with interesting backstory and characters), and Chapter 2 is Lavals (they have the second best characters IMO). Chapter 3 is Gustos, and Chapter 4 is Gem-Knights.

Anyhow, Chapter 2 is out guise.

[Legend Zero]

Aw yeah, best fanfic.

Handmaiden's personality is just as I expected it to be.

I didn't realize how 'comic-book evil' Laval the Greater looks. I lol'd at "Holy Sophia". It was a great read and can't wait for more.

[Alice Moonflowyr]

Read both of these, very well written Darkplant. I like the address at the beginning, and the second chapter was pretty funny.

Will definatly keep reading.

[DARKPLANT RISING]

Thanks guise.

I can't write from next Monday to Thursday 'cause I'm going on an extremely long field trip to Kyoto/Nara. If I can write next chapter by Sunday, I'll post it. If I can't, it's by next Saturday.

[Not-so-Radiant Arin]

I was wondering when you were going to get around to posting the next Chapter. =)

Very fluent writing, I must say. The characters still certainly seem believable, as opposed to just flat characters. There was a lot of tension throughout the piece, leading up to a great cliffhanger (but we can probably deduce what happened afterward quite clearly). I'm trying not to be a prick about grammar here, but there is still hints of Passive Voice running around in some parts of the story, like in the very first sentence.

And I thought it was clever that you made The Greater and the Handmaiden hubbies.

[DARKPLANT RISING]

Well, yeah, thanks.

I usually (rather, 99% of the time) write first person, and rarely go for third. So, my apologies on some parts where it seemed un-thirdish, if "thirdish" is a word. >It isn't

I knew I wanted to throw Handmaiden into the story somehow when I came up with her personality, but soon realized a handmaiden shouldn't be doing something in the midst of tribe leaders unless she had something special. First I wanted to make her Prominence's daughter or something, which fitted nicely with her princess-ish attitude, but I didn't think a knight's daughter would become a handmaiden. So, I scrapped that idea and made her like she is now.

[Brinolovania]

So Greater is 35...Cerise is 13...and they're gonna marry.

Isn't that like illegal?

Also the chapter was good, and Prominence is cool.

[DARKPLANT RISING]

Technically the civilization level of DTs is "medieval". Medieval knights usually married really young girls. So I deemed it was fine.

Well, when I was thinking about characters for Lavals, I soon realized that making a bunch of guys just say "I wanna fight" would make a boring chapter. I brainstormed ideas - hard - to make unique characters that don't end up as the dull barbarians they were almost going to be depicted as.

So, I wanted to balance out the four main Laval characters so they each stand out and don't become a bunch of Gary Stus and a Mary Sue. The Greater's the big boss, Dual's the muscle-brain, Cerise's the (bit sadistic) intelligence, and Prominence is the common-sense guy. I figured it'll be more interesting to have just someone in the tribe thinking fighting is worthless.

[DARKPLANT RISING]

I want this thread to become more active. I guess I'll use reps to bait out people.

[~Tico~]

Well, I finished reading both chapters just now, and I must say, an excellent job. The DT storylines have always been rather intriguing, and having it all written out like this only serves to better its quality and give me a much more detailed view. Your descriptions aren't too overdone, and the little we know of the DT storyline before reading this is now the elaborate backdrop for the scenes you write. But you don't just stop there. Instead, you take the liberty of the somewhat vague canon to implant your own ideas to enrich this story, making it not merely a detailed retelling of the tale, but creating, in a way, your own tale as well. Once again, amazing work. I applaud this DT piece and hope to see it flourish even more.