Lunar Origins Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 So, here we are. I want to get a gender change surgery, because... I'm not entirely comfortable with myself. I'm really not. I won't go into detail. Though I have a few problems, a few obstacles. [b]Will I be happy after this is over?[/b] The answer is probably a yes... But what if things go wrong? [b]What will my friends and family think?[/b] This is something I've always had on my mind. How will telling them this affect them? Will they be hurt, or will they get mad? Also something that bothers me. [b]Alienation?[/b] How will my life be afterwards, when people find out about my past? [b]Love?[/b] Will there ever be someone that will love me anyways? All of these questions have plagued my mind for a very long time. This is something I've thought about for years, but have only recently begun to want to do it. I mean... Is this selfish? It took a lot of courage to write this thread. I hope I will not be judged based on this. Many thanks to Aggro, for various reasons. Discuss gender changing and its implications. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrabHelmet Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 Two of my friends have had SRS and transitioned - one FTM, one MTF. We live in a pretty liberal area, so there was no trouble with people accepting them. One is currently in a relationship, and the other was until he broke up with his girlfriend a couple of months ago, so transitioning doesn't seem to have caused them any trouble in finding love (certainly no more than anyone else in our circle of friends). Someone in my department also came out as MTF recently; I don't actually know them personally, but it doesn't seem to have attracted any hate to them. At any rate, denying yourself is the least healthy thing you can do. My advice is definitely to go through with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ieyasu Tokugawa Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 Hm, this is news. Either way, do what makes you happy. If people try to alienate you, they're in the wrong. I know a MTF, and she seems pretty damn happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
❤ Lovely Warrior ❤ Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 If its what you want it will make you happy. If they are true friends they will still accept you and your family will always accept you for who you are. They may not like it but they will always love you. If people try to alienate you tell them"You don't know me!"and walk away from them and go towards people who will understand. There is always your true love so yes you will find love. Fun little fact I learned from watching a tv special about this is that people who get sex changes usually end up with someone of the same gender. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CinnamonStar Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 [quote name='Her Scarlet Knight' timestamp='1327493853' post='5780003'] This is something I've always had on my mind. How will telling them this affect them? Will they be hurt, or will they get mad? Also something that bothers me. [/quote] I don't think they're going to be mad, maybe confused in the beginning. It's strange to refer to someone as a "he or "she" for years and then switching pronouns, but aside from the technicalities and how-to-introduce issue, I'm pretty sure they're going to accept it in the long run. Make sure you thourougly explain them how you feel and try to make them understand that you're still going to be the same person. You're changing things about your body, not your entire personality. [quote name='Her Scarlet Knight' timestamp='1327493853' post='5780003'] How will my life be afterwards, when people find out about my past? [/quote] "Oh ok, that's a surprise"? And finally, I'm sure you've already thought about it, but if it's really gender-related and you're sure that it's not on a totally different level, I'd go ahead with it. There aren't many worse things psychologically than living in a body that feels alien-ish to you.:/ I'm not saying this because it would involve me personally in some way, but it's a big step.;3 [quote name='Her Scarlet Knight' timestamp='1327493853' post='5780003'] Will there ever be someone that will love me anyways? [/quote] Yes. If someone really loves you, I don't think it should matter to him/her.:/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yasu Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 [b][url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_reassignment_therapy"]Sex reassignment therapy[/url][/b] would be a more appropriate term. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resident Fascist Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 I know nothing of this topic, as I'm well happy that I'm a guy. But if you truly want to and if you have good friends they'll understand, I suppose. As I said, I know nothing of the topic as I'm glad to be a guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Makο Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 [quote name='Her Scarlet Knight' timestamp='1327493853' post='5780003'] So, here we are. [b]Uh huh.[/b] I want to get a gender change surgery, [b]Wait, what?[/b] because... I'm not entirely comfortable with myself. I'm really not. I won't go into detail. [b]Uh huh.[/b] Though I have a few problems, a few obstacles. [b]Uh huh.[/b] [b]Will I be happy after this is over?[/b] The answer is probably a yes... [b]Uh huh.[/b] But what if things go wrong? [b]You should just trust the surgeon...person...to do his/her best.[/b] [b]What will my friends and family think?[/b] This is something I've always had on my mind. How will telling them this affect them? [b]Shock will be the first reaction. Any other is based on what they believe.[/b] Will they be hurt, or will they get mad? [b]You're parents may get insulted, like getting the feeling that you think they didn't make you well enough. xD But in all seriousness, like I said, it depends on what they believe, or what they think is right.[/b] Also something that bothers me. [b]Alienation?[/b] How will my life be afterwards, when people find out about my past? [b]If people pick on you, alienate you, or anything similar JUST because of your past, they're douchbags and you're better off not associating with them anyway.[/b] [b]Love?[/b] Will there ever be someone that will love me anyways? [b]There's plenty of fish in the sea.[/b] All of these questions have plagued my mind for a very long time. This is something I've thought about for years, but have only recently begun to want to do it. I mean... Is this selfish? It took a lot of courage to write this thread. I hope I will not be judged based on this. [b]I wouldn't really see it as selfish. After all, it's YOUR body. It'd be selfish if you were doing it to somebody ELSE. And don't worry, bro, I don't judge [s]out loud.[/s][/b] [/quote] Honestly, I don't really like, nor support the idea of Gender Changes, just because I think it's f***Ing weird. But if somebody wants to do it, I don't really see why not. But it's just...it's the Christian inside me that really bugs me about the topic. One way or another, if you do decide to, I wish you the best of luck, and I hope you gain a female/male fashion sense after the change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Rai Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 Do what your gut says. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brinolovania Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 I think you should go for it. If you're not happy, and this will help, you should do it. As has already been said, only losers who you wouldn't like anyway will give you crap about it. And besides, even if they do...*insert Challenge Accepted topic here* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CMRenji Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 You should certainly go with what you want to do. No one can tell you what to do to your own body, not your friends, not your family, no one. You have to consider the risks of surgery, and your life afterwards though. You must choose either if you want to take the risk of possibly alienating yourself from others, or live in a body that you don't feel comfortable in. In the end, it's all up to what you believe, what you are willing to risk, and what you want to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nɇvɇrmorɇ Posted January 25, 2012 Report Share Posted January 25, 2012 I've honestly thought about doing this myself. Obviously I'm still young and have time to think about doing something like that. But if you want to, you should. If your friends aren't going to be accepting of what you want, then they really aren't being good friends are they? Sure it may take time for them to grow used to it, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John A. Zoidberg Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 [quote name='Crab Helmet' timestamp='1327496028' post='5780007'] Two of my friends have had SRS and transitioned - one FTM, one MTF. We live in a pretty liberal area, so there was no trouble with people accepting them. One is currently in a relationship, and the other was until he broke up with his girlfriend a couple of months ago, so transitioning doesn't seem to have caused them any trouble in finding love (certainly no more than anyone else in our circle of friends). Someone in my department also came out as MTF recently; I don't actually know them personally, but it doesn't seem to have attracted any hate to them. At any rate, denying yourself is the least healthy thing you can do. My advice is definitely to go through with it. [/quote] Crab respect level: +1 Couldn't have said it better myself. OT: I know people who have gone trans, not completely changed. They had a little trouble getting accepted due to the incredibly conservative area I live in. However, people have gotten used to the idea. As well, it's YOUR body, so that means YOUR freedom to do what YOU want. If people don't accept you for who you are, they suck. If people do, then great. All in all, it boils down to whether or not you have thoroughly entertained the idea, which it seems you have. It may be that I have a relatively easy time accepting people for what they are, but I say go for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clair Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 This is a huge decision. If you really want this surgery, have costs covered, [i]and you are sure with all your heart[/i] that you want to make those changes permanent, there's no stopping you. It's your life to live! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yasu Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 [quote name='Ŋęѵɇᶉɱøɽᶒ' timestamp='1327532214' post='5780780'] I've honestly thought about doing this myself. Obviously I'm still young and have time to think about doing something like that. But if you want to, you should. If your friends aren't going to be accepting of what you want, then they really aren't being good friends are they? Sure it may take time for them to grow used to it, though. [/quote] Not to rush you but as a general rule, the younger you start, the better. Surgery alone won't do all the job, heck, some transexuals don't undergo surgery at all. Hormone replacement therapy is what does most of the work, but be sure to get a psychological evaluation first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nɇvɇrmorɇ Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 [quote name='Yasu' timestamp='1327545295' post='5781319'] Not to rush you but as a general rule, the younger you start, the better. Surgery alone won't do all the job, heck, some transexuals don't undergo surgery at all. Hormone replacement therapy is what does most of the work, but be sure to get a psychological evaluation first. [/quote] True, but I'm still only sixteen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lunar Origins Posted January 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Still contemplating, as I have been for three years. I'm fairly sure that I want to go through with this. The only problem, though, is A:) How would I pay, and B:) How do I approach my parents, and C:) What would their reaction be. I'm fifteen right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nɇvɇrmorɇ Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Yeah, those are the problems I'm reaching as well. I guess I don't really care about C. They're my parents and if they can't accept it then that's their problem. But that is just my way of looking at things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirun Wolf Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 If you feel you identify with the opposite gender, and if you feel that you want to be of the opposite gender, than family/friend attitudes aside, I say go for it. I am a 22 year old male who has had one serious relationship. I am going to flaunt a couple of shallow credentials. I'm attractive, athletic, and generally a great guy. My ex was, for lack of a better term, a 10 to anyone alive. Brains, beauty, humor. I'm also completely straight. I can tell you that I have met transexuals who I would consider dating. I haven't dated one but that's because I'm already ridiculously picky, so that's that. Yes, it's a bit awkward. Yes, it's difficult. Yes, it's going to be the hardest decision you've ever made. However, if you feel you are a man/woman inside... weigh the costs of the surgery and the permanence. If you feel it's the right decision, it's up to YOU and you alone. In the end your happiness needs to come first. [b]There's only one other thing to consider. You're 15. I would not even consider doing anything until you are at least 18. I'd even push it to 20 or 21. You have a lot of time in this world. Let your hormones at least begin to settle before you make a decision. Trust me, 12-20 are HELL for hormones. You might even change your mind at some point. Anyhow that's my advice.[/b] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrystalCyae Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 I think, personally, all you need to worry about is costsof the gender change. It's not the sort of thing you can pay a dollar or sixpence on. It costs a lot. Meaning, you shouldn't worry at all about what everyone else thinks. I'll go quote a movie here (more or less) [i]They can't handle it. It's not my fault, it's theirs.[/i] Nuff said there. If they can't handle you being the opposite gender, then they can do that. That's their problem. I personally don't know a single transexual, but it really doesn't matter. As said before, you're just changing what you look like on the outside, mostly. Your personality won't change. Your still the same person. And it's the person on the inside that counts, not the looks on the outside. It makes no difference. Because, honestly... Male/Female = All humans. Unless, of course, you're a creepy alien. But I digress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Agro Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 You know how I feel, Lun. At least I hope you do by this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrabHelmet Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 [quote name='Kirun Wolf' timestamp='1327558325' post='5781725'][b]There's only one other thing to consider. You're 15. I would not even consider doing anything until you are at least 18. I'd even push it to 20 or 21. You have a lot of time in this world. Let your hormones at least begin to settle before you make a decision. Trust me, 12-20 are HELL for hormones. You might even change your mind at some point. Anyhow that's my advice.[/b][/quote] I've never heard of anyone thinking they were transsexual during their teenage years and then realizing they were mistaken during/after college. Ever. (Both of my friends transitioned during high school and are now happy at 20 and 21.) On the other hand, I am told many transsexuals realize their body is wrong even before they hit puberty (as was the case for my MTF friend). If you know you're transsexual, then you're transsexual; it's not something that random teenage hormones can easily be mistaken for. I am also told that it is physically easier to transition the younger you are (and the less developed your body is). Also, transitioning is a lengthy process (there's far more to it than going in for a single surgery), and it definitely would be easiest to have already finished transitioning by the time college starts. So it seems to me that sooner rather than later is the way to go. I do tend to downplay the social aspects of coming out because I grew up in a fairly liberal area where nobody cares (my high school's only outspoken homophobe later came out as gay), have liberal parents who don't care (I'm bi, not trans, but if I was they still wouldn't mind), and go to a liberal college where people continue to not care. However, the underlying principle - if they don't accept you for who you are, they can't really be considered friends anyhow - remains. The only possible exception is regarding parents because you are (I assume) financially dependent on them (and it is no coincidence that LGBT youth have a far higher incidence of homelessness than straight youth). If they really would react overwhelmingly negatively, I can see an argument from practicality being made for not coming out yet. Still, at 15 I should think you would by this point have a fairly good idea of your parents' stance on such topics, so if they were so strongly opposed that that would cause a problem then there would be no question as to how they would react. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DARKPLANT RISING Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 Funny because at least someone in this thread claiming to be female is probably actually male. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeal Ascendant Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 [quote name='Kirun Wolf' timestamp='1327558325' post='5781725'] [b]There's only one other thing to consider. You're 15. I would not even consider doing anything until you are at least 18. I'd even push it to 20 or 21. You have a lot of time in this world. Let your hormones at least begin to settle before you make a decision. Trust me, 12-20 are HELL for hormones. You might even change your mind at some point. Anyhow that's my advice.[/b] [/quote] I agree with this. There's nothing wrong with going through with this at all, and it's completely your decision, but it would be wise to wait a bit, if possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonk Posted January 26, 2012 Report Share Posted January 26, 2012 I really don't have a problem with you changing your gender. Gender changes can help people fit their personality in life in a good fashion. Now, for the question: If any of your parents gets a gender change, what do you call them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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