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Kill the User Above You (Remake)


Chiri Tsukikawa

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You walk into the street. A car is racing towards you trying to not get stuck behind a red light. A policeman sees this happening and charges in his car at the other car. The car hits a peanut butter truck making peanut butter slip out into the streets. The police car slips on the peanut butter and almost hits you. You jump out of the way into a parking lot. You hit a car that is backing up from the parking lot and faint. While in the ambulance, the door cocks open and you fall out into the streets again. Cars try their best to miss you, and they did, but a blockage was created. All the cars explode and an exhaust pipe from a car strikes you in the heart. Another car runs over you on purpose because the driver hates people lying down.

A piece of grass.

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For some reason, you become prone to excessive bleeding and when you're playing soccer for whatever reason, someone knocks you down and you put your hands out in front of you. When you use your hands to stop yourself from hitting the ground hard in any way that would possibly break your bones, or something, you touch a piece of grass, it cuts you and you start bleeding. You're taken to a hospital to stop the bleeding because it won't stop and when on the way there you pass out from too much loss of blood. When you get there, you're dead.

A card game.

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You're playing a wonderfully exiting game of Yugioh, and it's your opponent's turn. You're opponent draws his card with grace and beauty, but alas, it slips from his hand. The card, powered by the wind and the solar flares, flies directly into your open mouth. It gets lodged in your windpipe, and you suffocate within seconds. The doctors performing the autopsy found that it was a Kuriboh card that killed you. The doctors couldn't help but laugh their asses off.

A lamp.

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