guuu1234 Posted December 24, 2011 Report Share Posted December 24, 2011 So here is my 2nd attempt at a fan fic. Even though my writing skills may not be that great, I think the plot is interesting and uniuqe so anyway here goes: Enjoy [Spoiler=Mission 1] Ken was perched up on top of the building, looking through the only ceiling window, as his mark walked into the room surrounded by 4 bodyguards. "I don't get it," he whispered to himself. "Why do the most paranoid people [i]always [/i]have to put their private quarter on the top floor of a place? That doesn't make them any safer." While Ken doesn't usually talk to himself, being on the job can get lonely at times. Especially if you stake out on top of a building for 2 hours, where your only companion is a little dove that loves to poop. "Another thing. Why [i]always [/i]put a window on the ceiling to. Yeah it may look nice but you’re just begging to get killed." So yeah, he couldn't help but taunt his future victims either. Vincent, his current target, slowly walked around the room, checking every closet, corner, and cabinet; ANYTHING that could hide his potential downfall. Ken figured he had the right to be paranoid; after all he was an arms dealer. Selling deadly weapons to the highest bidder on the Black Market, whether that bidder be a terrorists or a little girl, he didn’t care as long as he got his money. Who knew the number of innocent lives his fancy skyscraper condo was built on top of. He was a crooked rat that deserved what was coming. After checking every potential hiding place twice, a third time, then a fourth time, Vincent proceeded to the bathroom. Two of his bodyguards stood station at that door, while the other two stood guard on the outside of the entrance. Not wanting to miss this golden opportunity, Ken sprung into the action. He discreetly opened the window, not making so much of a squeak with the hinges, and swooped down like a hawk. Or more like a raven, seeing as he wore an all-black suit, greatly matching his tall body, slim, strong figure, dark eyes, and wild black hair. He landed on the ground just 15 feet from his 2 future victims and they locked eyes. For a single second, an instant, they stared each other down. One body guard made a move toward his waist, probably trying to get a gun, while the other opened his mouth, probably to alert the others. Ken would never be sure, as in a flash he pulled out his silenced equipped pistol and took out his targets. If the silencer wasn't there, any stray listeners would have heard only one shoot. Each shoot was nicely placed, claiming each victim right between their eyes. A little trick of the trade he picked up, a well-placed shoot, that caused his victims to gently fall back instead of making unnecessary noise as they would have had they just slumped to the ground. Lucky for him they were already so close to the outside of the bathroom wall to begin with. He walked over to his lifeless victims, staring at them as their bodies slumped down the wall. Ken never assumed he knew what his targets were about to do the moment before their death. Not only did it make an ass out of them and him, but it helped ease his consciousness. It was this system that kept him from having nightmares about the families he has ruined. The lives he destroyed. He positioned the bodies on one side of the door, so Vincent wouldn't see them as he opened the door. Then he sat on the couch like he owned it and waited. 10 minutes later, Vincent walked out of the bathroom, wearing a red silk robe. Again, Ken and his victim locked eyes, for a second, an instant, before Vincent opened his mouth. A single bullet flew through his now open hole, through his tonsils, through his throat. Blood spurting everywhere, as he gasped, gagged, and choked on his own crimson fluids. Vincent feels to the ground with a big [i]thump.[/i] His two bodyguards rushed into the room, guns drawn, and then guns ablaze as they quickly accessed the scene. Ken turned and took 4 long strides, bursting through one of the wall windows. Everything slowed down, as for a moment he was suspended in air. [i]This is the best part of the job,[/i] he thought to himself,[i] the thrill of escape[/i]. His shoes sprung to life, as flames spurted from them. Suddenly he was airborne, flying through the skies with his jet shoes, as free as a bird. Almost. He took out his phone and called the headquarters of NIGHTLOCK, his secret government branch. They picked up instantly. "Mission accomplished Ma'am, shall I head back now?" "No", said a commanding female voice on the other end. "A few minutes away, at Silver Star Stadium, there is a show going on. I want you to go check it out. It will give you some insight into your next job." "What does some sport have to do with my job, Ma'am?" "DON'T question me Ken," she said forcibly, "You have your orders." With that statement the line went dead. Ken looked at his phone precariously and tossed it down to the ants below. It didn't matter. It was only good for 1 call. Afterwards the internal circuits burn each other out. Ken soared through the endless sky, almost invisible with the backdrop of night.[i] What the hell does my next mission have to do with a stadium? Sheesh I don't play sports or games, I kill for a living.[/i] This thought couldn't help but make him think about his past.[i] What does killing have to do with my past? Hell for all I know, it could have been those damn NIGHTLOCK scientists that stole my memory. God knows they are always cocking up some strange experiment.[/i] This brought back the horrible memory of lunch 1 month ago, when one of the science geeks had sprinkled some powder into Ken’s food. He unsuspectingly ate it, and then puked up his breakfast, lunch, and dinner from 3 days prior. He couldn't eat right for weeks. Back in the present, Ken covered his mouth as the memory resurfaced, disgust planted all over his face.[i] So my name is Ken . . . Ken what?[/i] NIGHTLOCK wasn't big on names. As for as Ken is concerned, nobody in the facility has a last name. Even the leader of NIGHTLOCK, Raine (though he will never be caught even muttering her name without some form of respect), is always addressed that way. So when he was finally freed 2 years ago and told his name was Ken, and just Ken. He graciously accepted it. [i]Freed huh? That’s right there was a time that I was their prisoner before I was their killer.[/i] 2 years ago Ken woke up in NIGHTLOCK HQ, in his room. [i]Room? Hmph that is an extremely generous word for it. [/i]His dwelling was more like a cell. He has only one bed, and a window barred on the outside. The only difference between his "room" and an actual prison cell was that he had a door. Anyway he woke up, having no memory of who he was, or where he was. So he did what any average, 16 year old would do in his situation, he freaked out. He tried to escape Head Quarters, causing quite a ruckus across the facility until he was finally caught and put to sleep. There is more to this, but that is a story for another day. When he awoke in chains and asked what he was doing, his simple reply was "Look at my room? Can you blame me?" Well that was his reply after he asked the common who, what, where, when and why questions. After a few days in "Peaceful Rejuvenation" (he was in cell, guarded 24/7 and NEVER left alone. He was already paranoid, good thing he didn't suffer from Paruresis) He was rewarded with some good news. His name (Ken), his age (16), his job (assassin), his home (NIGHTLOCK). Any questions? He had tons! But of course they never asked him that, nor did they feel inclined to answer anything he wanted to know. So wanting to get out of his "Peaceful Rejuvenation", he accepted everything he was told. He was going to escape, but nobody ever actually treated him badly, and eventually he was adopted in the NIGHTLOCK family of liars, murderers, and thieves. Is your family that bad? Probably not. So here is, 2 years later, flying to a stadium with his impossibly silent jet shoes. [i]Well I could've escaped, but what was the point? I knew next to nothing. I had no idea who I really was or where I really am from. Hell I don't even know if I'm really 18. But one thing I am certain of is that NIGHTLOCK means me no harm. If they wanted me dead, then I would be. Plain and simple.[/i] Kens thoughts were interrupted as the roar of Silver Star Stadiums crowd blasted in his drum. He was only a few blocks away and yet they were so loud and lively. As much as he wanted to enjoy the cool breeze of the warm night, he had a job to do. Plus the excited crowd kind if made him curious about what was going on. "Hmmm maybe this show will be kind of cool," he said as he landed in an alley and proceeded to stride toward the entrance, "maybe my job will take an interesting turn for a change." [/spoiler] [spoiler=Mission 2] A person does not know how it feels to be a sardine in a can until he/she has been in a full stadium, surrounded by screaming fans. Ken thought he was lucky when he got one of the last few tickets left from the vendor, but realized he was horribly wrong when he got to Row 22, Seat 35. The only thing worse than being a human sardine in a sea of people at a sporting event, was being a human sardine in a sea of people surrounded by crazed fan girls where said sporting event was all about cards. But before Ken could get into the absurdness of that, the two male players, duelists is what people called them, who were going against each other, dueling is what people called that, were amazingly beautiful. Although this beauty had no effect on Ken, it only added to his bad luck, as every single fan girl screamed at deafening levels every time their favorite player made a move. And boy did they have a lot of moves to make. On the stage, each duelist had some disk-like contraption that displayed holographic images of the cards played into it. Ken looked around the area, noticing structures that also helped display holograms in each corner of the stadium. Now that he noticed that, Ken noticed another strange thing. The entire stadium seats and people were all colored, as if a projection was placed on the entire stadium from some unknown source. He looked at his hand and it had a bluish tint. “What the hell,” he muttered to himself. The crowd suddenly erupted into cheers as an explosion sounded in the direction of the stage. It was pretty big, shaking the seats a little. Ken quietly cursed to himself as he quickly focused his attention onto the stage, obviously missing something interesting. [i]Remember Ken, this is a job; an assignment. You can’t afford to be drifting off the main objective, [/i]he thought to himself as smoke surrounding a player started to clear away. He looked away from that scene to something else that made him jump in his shoes. He saw a giant fearsome dragon, crimson in color, with red wings, piercing red eyes, and horns? [i]A dragon . . . with horns. That definitely wasn’t there a moment ago. [/i]Forced away from his thoughts, the dragon turned and leered at Ken, or at least his section. A triumphant blaze of fire left the dragons’ mouth, heading right for the area. “What the fu-” Ken started to say as he closed his eyes and braced for death. The past 2 years flashing before his eyes, his missions quickly replaying in his head like a rewinding movie. [i]So this is how I go out, barbequed by a mythical creature? I always thought I would die in a blaze-of-glory, on some world changing mission or something. Drake and Sarah are going to have a fit when they find out about this. Oh well, goodbye cruel world. I just wish those damn annoying fan girls will shut UP! Even in death they are annoying as hell. Maybe this IS hell. Maybe this is my punish-Wait. WHAT? [/i] Ken’s eyes flashed open to see a bright yellow . . . something completely engulfing him and everybody else around him. The yellow ended only for Ken to be welcomed with more cheers, screams, screeches, and the realization of 3 things. 1). he’s not dead. 2). the realistic flame was all a hologram, including the even realer looking dragon before him. 3). fan girls [i]never [/i]shut up. “What’s with all the screaming, this isn’t over yet,” said a confident voice over the speakers. Ken looked up at the big screen over the stadium to see a close up of the duelist that was surrounded by smoke. Obviously it finally cleared, and a small fiendish looking monster had appeared on the field in front of the duelist. It kind of looked like a clock, with the face as the base and a large, yellow colored minute hand attached to it, swinging back and forth. Again there was more screaming from the girls and more disgust on Ken’s part. [i]Some people, [/i]he thought to himself while shaking his head. [i]They have no self-control. [/i] “That was a nice little attack by your Red Dragon, and it would have ended me had it not been for my trusty little Battle Fader. That’s why I run three of this annoying little guy.” The screen changed images from the monster to the duelists talking and Ken finally started paying attention to appearances. He was a dark-tinted individual, with low cut blonde hair ([i]probably dyed)[/i], sharp side-burns, and brown eyes that matched a serene, confident smile. Ken couldn’t get an accurate take on his height, but he did have long legs. Looking no older than 20 or 21, he looked like a modern Chris Brown, even wearing clothing akin to the superstar. [i]No wonder all the girls went crazy over him[/i]. “So if you don’t mind, I would like to take my turn. Do you end Vlad?” The screen image shifted over to Vlad, an intense looking duelist, and giving Ken his first real look at the other duelist. Vlad had the bad boy look going for him for sure. He had startling silver hair, with sharp, haze colored eyes that accompanied a cocky smile and peachy, light skin. He wore black jeans with rips throughout it, not enough to justify his pants being old, but enough to give them some flare. A red t-shirt and black vest that had been ripped at the shoulders showed off his muscles, then red and black wrist bracelets with spikes completed his mastered look. “Tch. You got lucky this turn Jordan. I set 1 facedown and end.” A hologram of the back of the card appeared in an area behind the deadly dragon, but to the right of it. “That’s right; if I didn’t have Battle Fader then your Red Dragon would have owned me. But your Heavy Storm took me by surprise. I lost my mirror force and call of the haunted,” he said while drawing a card from his deck. The big screen image changed to now feature both duelists and their field in plain view, but also included numbers of some sort for both duelists going down in a circle. Each numbered circle had a number in the center, followed by LP. Vlad had 2700LP while Jordan had 3000LP. [i]What do those numbers mean?[/i] “But,” Jordan continued after looking at his card while still holding his confident smile, “YOU lost a limited card. I’m not questioning your tactics, but this duel is still anybody’s game. I activate Double Summon. I’m sure you’re already familiar with this card, but for the audience sake I will give you a quick run-down of it. This turn, I’m allowed an extra normal summon or set. So I summon Evocator Chevalier.” A knight with glinting red and gold armor appeared onto the field, brandishing a flame in his left hand and a blade in his right. “Seeing as he is a Gemini monster, I will us my extra normal summon on him to unlock his potential.” The flame of the armored warrior spread out from his left hand, slithering across his whole body, and then igniting him with a brilliant fire that shined in the moonlit night. “Now I equip him with mist body,” a face-up green card appeared behind the warrior; giving him a shimmering appearance, as if he was fading in and out of existence. “Now with his effect, I drop my mist body and destroy 1 card you control. Target: your Red Dragon Archfiend!” The spell image got absorbed into Chevaliers hand, growing in intensity until a huge fireball was being held. It looked like a bowling ball, except about 3 times bigger. He launched it at Red Dragon and another huge explosion engulfed him or her or it. [i]Do dragons even have a gender? [/i]The crowd erupted into cheers, at least about half of them did. Ken grimaced with frustration as he realized Jordan’s fan girls haven’t lost their voice yet. After the explosion cleared and the dragon was confirmed destroyed, Jordan entered his battle phase, and attacked with his warrior. It charged toward Vlad, blade raised and slashed down toward him. “I activate Rainbow Life. I discard Flamvell Baby to take this damage.” The face-down card turned to be face-up, then shattered as a rainbow colored veil appeared around him. The knight slashed down, only for his blade to go right through his target. The circle on the screen that showed LP increased for Vlad, from 2700 to 4600 and shined bright blue. Chevalier jumped back to attention in front of Jordan. “Rainbow Life? I didn’t know you used that card Vlad. People will start thinking you are going soft,” Jordan taunted. “I set 2 cards face-down and end my turn.” “Shut up, Vlad responded back aggressively as he drew a card. “This Duel is mine and you know it. You only have 1 card in your hand while I have 3. You are finished this turn.” Jordan just kept on holding his confident smile. “We will see about that. GO!” “With pleasure. I activate Monster Reborn to bring back my Red Dragon Archfiend.” A blue, decorated symbol appeared onto the center of the field, growing larger and larger until the shape of a dragon begun to be formed. “No so fast. I activate Gemini Counter. I flip my Gemini into face-down defense to negate your spell.” The knight went into a defensive stand as the back of his card closed on top of him. A ray of light shot out from the active trap, blasting a hole through the symbol and shattering it to little pieces. Vlad just stood there with a cocky smile on his face. He sent Monster Reborn to the graveyard and said “I knew you had something. But this game is still mine. I activate Rekindling.” A pillar of fire appeared in front of Vlad that shot high into the night sky. Various shapes and figures were seen attempting to escape the fiery inferno. “Response?” Vlad asked coolly. Jordan looked perplexed, deciding whether or not it was worth whatever course of action he was thinking. “Yeah. Solemn Warning.” His 2[sup]nd[/sup] face-down activated, and the screen showed his LP draining from 3000 to 1000. A fierce, blinding light from the sky blasted into the center of the inferno, scattering the blaze to the winds. “I set a monster and end my turn.” The crowd had gone ballistic when Jordan had made his two counters, though Ken had no idea why. His LP was 1000, so that couldn’t be good. And did no one else really notice the malfunction on the screen? Jordan appeared to lose over half of his LP for nothing. [i]I don’t get this . . . this . . . game. It all seems so pointless and stupid. Hell I would never even be here if I wasn’t ordered to. I might as well leave now and get back to NIGHTLOCK. [/i]However despite his complaints, Ken’s body just refused to budge even an inch from his spot. No matter how he denied it, or hated it, this [i]game [/i]has pulled him. The tension currently in the air, the realistic holograms, the actions, the cards, the incredibly realistic holograms; they all have made him too curious to just leave without knowing the outcome of this heated battle. The millions of questions he is dying to find answers to only adds to his wonder. Ken never was great at lying to himself. So he could not deny that he felt a rush of excitement, a rush of curiosity as Jordan spoke two simple words. “I Draw.” [/spoiler] [Spoiler=Mission 3] Ken let go a relaxing sigh as he shuffled his way out of the stadium. The many fans leaving the place were buzzing with laughter and complaints over the outcome of the duel while few were even in tears over the loss of their favorite duelists, which for many people was Vlad. Approaching the backseat of the standard black limo that he knew to be from NIGHTLOCK, Ken opened the door and settled onto to the soft, velvet seats. As the car drove toward its destination, no doubt NIGHTLOCK HQ, Kens turned his attention out of the window, and his mind went back toward duel monsters. [i]I admit it, the monsters were pretty interesting . . . but I still don’t get what that has to do with my mission? I’m all for following my orders, but this seems too strange. I guess I’ll find out soon . . .[/i] [center]. . . . . . .[/center] After arriving at headquarters, Ken reported straight to his boss. Approaching here office, Ken couldn’t help but tense up. Not out of fear, at least not entirely. No, he did so out of habit. The corridor to Raine’s office had many cameras trained on anybody approaching it from at least 50 feet away, not including the hidden ones situated within the walls of the long corridor. If an intruder made an attempt to get to Raine or an individual was deemed a threat, every single camera would come to life with a gun or laser, effectively making his body the equivalent of Swiss cheese. Ken couldn’t help but be reflexively ready. Ken tentatively pushed open the door to his Raine’s office, and entered her domain. Glancing upward from her desk, Raine’s fiery red eyes locked into Ken, freezing him in his place. Kens breathe left him as his mind struggled to form a thought, an action, or a reflex. He couldn’t break away from Raine’s predatory glance. Her blood red hair was a stark contrast with her light skin yet only amplified her intense eyes. Her savage beauty combined with her presence was enough to effectively shut down even the most secure individuals, which is not only one of many reasons she swiftly rose through the ranks, but also a necessity for her job and position. “How long are you just going to stand there,” she snapped after she continued to fiddle with her files. Clearing his throat, thankful that he can move again, he advanced toward Raine saying, “Sorry ma’am. I was . . . err . . . a little taken aback.” “Hmph,” Raine glanced up at him, eyebrow slightly raised, "Problem?" Stopping in front of her, Ken remained completely silent. He knew that was a rhetorical question, for she has a paralyzing effect on everybody that she meets and she knows it. Some may get it worse than others, but that is just who she is. “Regardless,” she began as she tucked a strand of majestic, inflamed hair behind her ears and locked eyes with Ken again, “what did you think about your first introduction to duel monsters?” Kens voice caught in his throat as he started to speak, but quickly composed himself with a quick breath. “Well, to be honest, I find duel monsters quite . . . pointless. It seems like a silly game that belongs to kids, not adults; a game that belongs to small clubs, not in giant stadiums.” With a small smirk that grew on her face, Raine swiftly replied. “That may be true, to an extent. I’m pretty sure the game of Duel Monsters was originally targeted towards the younger generations. However, that was many decades ago. Eventually, the Duel Monsters Corporation became a powerful force in the business industry as it gained influence. When they released their virtual reality technology to the public, their grandeur became secured. People of all ages flocked toward their product, making them today’s most profitable business.” Ken couldn’t help himself as his mouth hung slightly agape from the news he just received. His mind couldn’t comprehend how he couldn’t know such a powerful corporation existed, and he had only just recently heard of them. “Of course, this is probably all new to you, with your amnesia and all. It is very probable that you played the game before. But as long as you have been in our care, you most definitely have not.” Quickly processing the information he was given, Ken went straight to the point. “So what exactly does all of this fit in with my job?” Of course Ken already had a general idea as the question left his lips. “Simple,” she said, her smirk growing into a shady grin.” You will become a duelist in the world of pros.” [i]What? [/i]He thought incredulously, but still keeping his calm on the surface. “Why?” “As I’ve told you, Duel Monster Corp. has become one of the most influential businesses in the world. As history has shown itself, all businesses of that caliber eventually fall into the underworld of crime, syndication, smuggling, and possibly terrorism.” “Terrorism?” Ken coughed skeptically. “With all due respect, how can a children’s card game be a market for terrorism?” “If they can boast advanced virtual reality technology, what other technologies can they have? Even if the company may have at once targeted children as their market, the goal of executives is to increase the cash flow in their pockets. And no other methods offer such favorable increase then the shady world of crime. Not to mention the company would be the last to be suspected of smuggling or syndication, and even less likely to be suspected of any crime at all, for the very reason you mentioned.” “Now on to your mission. Recently there have been many deaths involving dueling monsters, one way or another. Some people have died while dueling, and in other deaths, duel monsters have been a common link. There is a tournament within a week, and the top 32 will gain entry into the national tournament a month from now. From there, the top 4 will go on to the international tournament, and officially enter the world of Pros. It’s extremely vital that you enter the Pro world, because that is where many of these deaths occur, and you will have more influence. You must find out why there are so many deaths, and make sure more don’t occur again. Any questions?” “Just two; why don’t you use your connections to instate me as a pro and avoid all of this tedious work?” “Simple,” she replied calmly. “The world of duel monsters is a competitive sport. Even more so than that, it’s extremely fan-based and pros have a huge amount of influence themselves; mainly due to sponsors and the like. Also, the world of pros is brutal. If you can’t compete at their level, then there’s no point in you even going on this mission. Other question?” “Why does it matter to NIGHTLOCK who gets killed playing this game? Sounds to me like this would be something more concerned with local authority and not an agency of our . . . specialties.” Suddenly Raines expression turned extremely dark. As her piercing red eyes stared darkly at Ken, he began to wonder if maybe he asked too much. A cold sweat started to roll down his cheek. Getting up from her desk, Raine walked toward her window. Actually, it was a wall size plasma TV shaped like a window, displaying the outside world in real-time. “You are debriefed on a ‘Need-to-know’, and if I didn’t believe you needed to know this, then I wouldn’t tell you. We already had one of our agents infiltrating the pro world. He was one of the victims murdered Ken.” [/spoiler] [b]Mission 4:[/b] [url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/272147-deaths-duel-monsters-chapter-5-is-up/#entry5974258"]http://forum.yugiohc...p/#entry5974258[/url] [b]Mission 5:[/b] [url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/272147-deaths-duel-monsters-chapter-5-is-up/#entry5992018"]http://forum.yugiohc...p/#entry5992018[/url] [b]Mission 6:[/b] [url="http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/272147-deaths-duel-monsters-chapter-5-is-up/page__st__20#entry5993640"]http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/272147-deaths-duel-monsters-chapter-5-is-up/page__st__20#entry5993640[/url] Seems like my chapters are a lot shorter than I though don't fret though, the length picks up by chapter 4. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted December 25, 2011 Report Share Posted December 25, 2011 Please read the section rules regarding length. If you'd like me to unlock this, PM me the lengthened and revised chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted December 29, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2011 NO LONGER LOCKED!!!! ^^ Anyway added a few more details, made the story more in depth and gave readers some background to our charcter and some others to be introduced later. ENJOY and COMMENT. I NEED SOME FEEDBACK FOLKS!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted December 29, 2011 Report Share Posted December 29, 2011 I don't think/recall reading the original version, so all I know about it was that it was locked for length issues. However I want to let you know I'm glad you went back and re-did it, because this full length version was most enjoyable There were places that made me want to tear my hair out in frustration, but there always is, and its better that I point them out for your continued development. But I will mix it with positives, because this honestly deserves some. First of all, the plot summary at the start. Most will strongly advise against that. Having read the chapter, I was told again everything that was said in it, so it was a kinda pointless tool. By all means put at the top, this is my story about a secret agent/assassin who gets involved in a case to do with a series of murders on the pro duel curcuit, or something, but it kinda set the wrong impression as it was. However the premise of Bourne Identity meets YGO, that's definately interesting, so it did actually hook me to read despite my complaints. Which probably makes them invalid. The first sentance could have done with a bit more in terms of build up in setting the scene, but I don't mind getting straight into the action with this. I also didn't mind Ken's talking to himself too much. Soliloquies are fine in small doses, although just thinking to himself may be better (especially as being quiet is part of his job). The actual assassination was done quiet nicely. Showed quite a lot of Ken's character in his actions. Only improvement would have been some background on this Vincent character. What had he done to get a hit taken on him? Little things like that give it purpose. But the actual action was pretty good, as was the escape. The main things that were annoying was the slips in tense in places, and addressing the audience directly, or breaking the fourth wall as I believe its called. Examples [quote]And yes, you did read the word "freed". Did I say room? I apologize.[/quote] Something like "'Hmp, free, yeah right' Ken thought to himself" and "Well, room was a generous description" are easier on the eye. Its good to try and engage in the audience, and I've seen breaking the 4th wall done to spectacular effect in places (The Dark Doorway by Umbra), its just doing it in the right situation, and in DD it was done so all out by just the perfect characters to pull it off. Main lead doing it on and off throughout, not as good. All background information was the right balance of telling us the stuff we need to know without releasing anything more, so thats fine. But yeah, I just enjoyed this overall. Well done and keep going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted December 29, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2011 Thanks for the review Verz. I'm glad you enjoyed it. *All i can say for the Plot is that i thought the same thing you did when I finished. but now that everything is on the table, I can surprise the readers *I was also thinking about putting in Vincents "crime", but i didn't know where to fit it in. I will take note of that for future victims that don't have a major role. *When addressing the audience, I honestly had no idea how to voice Ken's opinion on the matter. So thanks for that tip as well, I will have to edit that when i get a chance. *Do you think you can give me a link to DD? I would love to see how the author addresses the audience in a unique way. [color=#FF0000]As always Thanks for constructive criticism. I always look for room to improve 'cause nothing is perfect.[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted December 29, 2011 Report Share Posted December 29, 2011 [quote]"Vincent, his current target, slowly walked around the room, checking every closet, corner, and cabinet; ANYTHING that could hide his potinetial downfall. [b]HERE, PUT IT HERE!!! [/b]After checking every potinetial hiding place twice, a third time...[/quote] Indded I do. Can't believe how many pages I had to go back through to find it. [url="../232922-legacy-of-the-tormentor-the-dark-doorway-pg-16/"]http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/232922-legacy-of-the-tormentor-the-dark-doorway-pg-16/[/url] I recommend reading it if you have the stomach for gorey horror and want some tips. However do not post in the thread; you will get pinged for necrobumping and I think Umbra is finished with it now. Shame Chapter 17 contains the scene of epic 4th wall bulldozing I was referring to, while Chapter 14 is widely regarded as one of the best chapters anyone he has written in any fic. Ever. *Slight exaggeration maybe* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted December 29, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2011 [quote] "Vincent, his current target, slowly walked around the room, checking every closet, corner, and cabinet; ANYTHING that could hide his potinetial downfall. [b]HERE, PUT IT HERE!!! [/b]After checking every potinetial hiding place twice, a third time... [/quote] O.O Thanks, i didn't think about that. Thanks for the link as well, gore doesn't bother me so I'll be fine. I really look forward to reading DD now, It sounds to good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted January 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 2, 2012 Edited the first chapter, corrected A LOT of grammer an spelling errors i didn;t notice before, took out the "4th wall breaching" in two parts although i kept one in there,added vincent crime, [color=#0000FF][b][size=4]and added CHAPTER 2[/size][/b][/color]. as always Enjoy and constructive feedback is always appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted January 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2012 bump. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted January 12, 2012 Report Share Posted January 12, 2012 Apologies this took me so long to get too. Hmm... stereotypical pretty boy vs stereotypical meathead... who uses Red Dragon Archfiend. Said mythical and all powerful RDA gets destroyed by Evocater Chevalier. Okay then... So yeah, my point being throwing around a card like RDA like it wasn't special, and destroying it by that means was kindof er...wut? Unless Vlad having RDA is a plot thing and why Ken is being sent there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted January 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2012 Well that was kind of the point. I wanted to take away from anything readers would expected of said mighty mythical creatures early in my story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted January 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 Chapter 3 will be up in a week at most. Tomorrow at the earliest (don't hold your breath though). Sorry for the delay, I just haven't been in the creative mood lately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted May 13, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 13, 2012 It's been a while sense I've updated my story, and, well I'm BACK xD Honestly i suffered from writers block for the last. . .err. . .4 months or so . . . ANYWAY i'm back with an updated chapter and the plot starts to move as you get a general idea of what's going to happen, but you have no clue of how it's going to happen. so please, please, please comment, 'cause that gives me motivation to continue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted May 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 15, 2012 Bump. still no comments is my story that bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted May 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2012 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted July 11, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2012 Just finished chapter 4. I would really appreciate comments on my latest chapters, as it's longer than my other chapters and I feel like my writing is getting better. Plus, I worked really really REALLY hard on this chapter. [Spoiler=Mission 4] His face was a mask of trained indifference as he received the news from Raine, yet the news didn't come as a real surprise to Ken. Even if it's not common, agents are killed or missing at times. So the news served more as a shocking confirmation that the mission is more dangerous then he originally believed. That his mission is completely serious and Raine wanted him to realize that. The heaviness in her tone gone but still all business, Raine spoke up again. "Go see Mark. He will teach you everything you need to know about duel monsters. You will depart for the tournament in 3 days, where you will be living off-base until your assignment is complete. You will get your new identity the day you leave. Dismissed" ----------**********---------- "What are duel monsters M?" Ken asked with a scowl on his face. He hated the tech wing. It wasn't that the air of the tech wing was constantly filled with brainiac chit-chat, or that the area was diverse in ethnic backgrounds, engineering, and science specialties; t was the smell. The area had the sterile smell of a hospital that drove Ken insane. Not that it was any single individual's fault. Ken just always hated hospitals. An older man, perhaps in his early 40's, kept his eyes on his computer screen as his fingers moved like lightning across the keyboard. Code appeared, disappeared, and then re-appeared in front of his eyes as the man worked on whatever program he was doing. "HEY! Didn't you hear me Mark?" "Oh. Sorry Ken, I actually didn't hear you. Give me a sec while a break down this fire wall," Mark hastily replied, his eyes never leaving the screen of code and his fingers never breaking their stride. Ken rolled his eyes and, assuming Mark would be hacking for a while, took in the scene around him. Though the tech wing smelled of disinfectant, Ken didn't mind the Network Department as much. The room was alive with hundreds of computers, programmers, and specialists, each working on their own individual project, all lined up along the walls at about 5 levels. In the center of the room was a huge chamber like structure. Within the chamber, a realistic hologram of the Earth was displayed while various people discussed specific parts of the giant sphere. "Eureka!" Mark shouted, catching Ken’s attention. "I got in! Hehe when will those losers learn to beef up their defenses? Hacking is starting to get too easy. So," Getting up from his desk, Mark turned his attention to Ken, staring down at him with his light warm, brown eyes. His hair was cut low and dotted with shades of gray, while his mouth was slightly twisted in a warm smirk. He was pretty tall, slightly taller than Ken, but skinny in a ghostly way and not in a healthy way. "Raine told me to teach you how to duel before you leave. I'm all for it, but the only problem is that it's hard to exactly 'teach' you everything you need to know in just 3 days. There is a LOT of rules in the game, and me telling you them all and expecting you to just get them is pretty far-fetched." "Well I've seen some people duel before," referring to the only duel he has ever seen. "It didn't look as hard as you are making it out to be." "Hahaha as confident as ever Ken. Come with me." Mark started walking toward the chamber-like structure that held the hologram of the giant Earth. "Tell me what you already know then." Following behind his heels and silently cursing to himself, Ken took a short moment to gather a response. In all honesty, he didn't know anything worth mentioning form his single, short introduction to dueling. Yet he tried anyway. "Well both players start off with 4000 life points. When a player's life points drop to 0, the other wins." "Mm-hmm. That's the whole objective of the game. What else? Trying to remember his first duel, Ken realized he had more to go on then he initially though. "Uhhmm there are also cards that support monsters as well. I believe they are called magic and trap cards. Most magic cards disappear from the field after they are used, but some seem to stay on the field after they are played." "That's true. The cards you are talking about are called Equip Spell Card and Continuous Spell Cards." Arriving to the chamber-like structure, Mark pressed a few commands on a keyboard and the hologram disappeared, and Ken quickly thought how lucky they were that the others who were using the large holographic machine already left. "I didn't know the support cards had specific names?" Ken half asked, half stated. "Oh yea. There are 4 common types of spell cards and 3 common types of trap cards." "If those are the common types, then what are the un-common types?" "Oh those," he flashed Ken a mischievous grin, "We'll get to later. I gotta teach you the basics first, and the best way to do that is with some hands-on training!" "You don't mean-" Ken started cautiously, hoping Mark was not going to say what he himself was thinking. "You got it!" He practically oozed excitement as he opened a database and a field appeared onto the monitor in front him. Simultaneously, the holographic chamber displayed a life-size image of the field as well, complete with 20 rectangle shaped squares, 10 on each side. "We are going to have a duel. It will be much easier to learn the game mechanics this way. But first," he stuffed his hand into his pockets and thrust out a thin, tiny booklet, "Read this. It's the most updated guide to Duel Monsters. I got it from one of the newer pre-made deck and the explanations are pretty straight forward. Once you get the basics from this; we'll have a practice duel where I'll explain a few other things. After that I’ll give you some papers on more advanced mechanics when we finish, then I'll let you build your own deck and we will have a few more practice duels to get you ready for your assignment." Ken absently took the small booklet, his mind processing the information quickly imposed onto him. Ken eyed the decorative cover of the slim guide, delicately ran his fingers over the smooth, cool surface until he reached the upper corner, and then gently flipped to the opening page. While reading the guide, Ken was incredulous to the decorative labels and simple words used. Just like Mark stated, the explanations were very straight forward, and the game truly did seem simple when presented to him in that format. Though his feelings about the game were truly somber, and the childish guide didn't help them. [i]This game is so . . . ridiculous! Of all the agents in HQ, why did Raine have to pick me up? I'm too old to be playing a childish, ridiculous game with cardboard pieces of parchment. [/i] He finally closed the guide when reached the end of it, finding it pointless to read the disclaimer or warranty sections. The whole 10 minutes that Ken was reading the booklet, even reading the Battle Phase section a few times, Mark made all the preparations for his teaching game. "How are we supposed to duel if I don't have any cards?" "Oh don't worry about having actual cards now," he beamed, "since we'll be using the ones from a database. I already have you a basic, cookie cutter deck. Now go over to the other side of the chamber, touch the monitor and follow the instructions, then we will get our duel started." After making his way over to the other side of the chamber, Ken's heart suddenly started to increase in tempo, a result of Ken's anticipation. After touching the monitor, Ken selected the appropriate options. The screen showed that his deck was shuffled, and 5 cards were immediately drawn for him. The monitor displayed his hand, while Mark's hand was shown as well, except Ken could only see the back of his cards. The field on the monitor was exactly the same as it was displayed in the holographic projector chamber, except with some key differences: The monitor displayed a giant bar in the middle of the screen, showing the phase of the turn that person was in, and it also displayed a section for both player's graveyard zone, banish zone, and a space for the extra deck. He clicked on his extra deck and quickly looked through it. All cards in it were black, representing Xyz monsters that the guide detailed about, and the highest rank visible was 4. Ken also noticed that by clicking on a card, a larger display of it is presented in the top left corner of his screen, detailing the type, attribute, and effects (if any) of the card. "Uhm are you going to start?" shouted Mark from the other side of the chamber. "The auto draw feature added your sixth card to your hand already." Ken quickly glanced to his far right, noticing he did indeed have a sixth card. He didn't notice it before since he assumed he would start off with five cards like the guide stated, and he was lost in the many other details of the monitor and chamber. "So I just . . . start playing cards?" his voice was tentative and nervous. This was indeed a new experience for him. "Pretty much. Since this is your first time, I don't mind if you take it slow. But many duelists don't like it when their opponent takes forever." Getting the hint, Ken quickly looked over his cards and read their effects, formulating a plan. [i]So I have defense draw, which will keep me from taking damage. Mystical space typhoon, that destroys a spell or trap card. And it's a quick-play! That means I can use it on Mark's turn! Hmm, this monster has a lot of defense. Maybe I should . . . [/i]"Ok. I play one trap card face-down, and one spell card face-down," Mark suddenly burst out in small laughter as the two vertical cards appeared in the holographic chamber in their respective positions. "Hey, what's so funny!?" "Oh nothing," Mark retorted, wiping a fake tear from his eye. "It's just that you told me what kind of cards you have in your back row. You see, I don't know if you have two traps to stop me with, or if the cards you played are just useless spells to bluff me. You don't have to say what your cards when you Set them, ok? "Ugh, ok" he grimaced. [i]First turn and I already messed up. [/i]"I set a monster and I end my turn," Ken said as he touched the monitor and selected the appropriate actions. A horizontal card appeared in front of the other vertical cards and, like them, was also facedown The phase indicator went back to the start as it went to the draw phase for Mark, moved to the standby phase, and then went straight to his Main Phase 1. Unlike Ken, he made his moves more quickly. "I summon Breaker the Magical Warrior (ATK: 1600)," a monster in dark red armored, glittering with gold outlining, appeared onto the field. Brandishing it's thin blade in one hand, and a shield decorated in similar fashion with his armor in his opposing arm, the warrior stood at attention onto the field, it's cape bellowing to add luster to it." When he's summoned, he gets a spell counter, which increases his ATK by 300 points." (1600>1900). One of three dull, deep blue jewels on the breastplate of the warrior imitated a faint glow. "What the hell? The guide didn't mention anything about spell counters." "I told you, this is to teach you about some things that aren't in the guide. For example, spell counters; they are usually exclusive to Spellcaster-type monsters. Some get counters when a spell card is activated while others," pointing to his decorative warrior, "gets them when they are summoned. You remember the types of summons right? " "I think so. There are Normal Summons, Flip Summons, and Special Summons right?" "Exactly. My warrior only gets a counter when he is Normal Summoned. That means if he is Special Summoned, I won't get that counter. Get it?" Ken nodded his head in mute understanding. "Good. Now I activate the effect of my monster. By removing a spell counter form him, I can destroy one spell or trap on the field." "What!" Ken loudly exclaimed. "Your monster can do that too?" "Of course. You can always read my monsters effect on your screen you know." With that piece of advice, Ken selected Breaker and read it's stats. "Wow..." he muttered to himself. (1900>1600) The gem on the warrior’s chest that emitted light suddenly grew dull as the thin sword held by the warrior, or to Ken’s recent knowledge, spellcaster, started to glow with a strong light. The spellcaster slashed at the ground, causing wave of energy to travel from it, shattering the holographic image of Kens Defense Draw. [i]Damn, if only I didn't tell him what it was.[/i] "Next up, I activate the Equip Spell Card Wonder Wand. This gives a spellcaster 500 ATK." (1600>2100)Behind Breaker, the flipped up image of a green spell card depicting a wand with a jewel at the end appeared. On Breaker, the sword in his hand shattered into data, only for it to reform into the wand depicted on the card behind it. "And since it's an equip spell, it stays attached to the monster," Ken numbly stated, not having much heart in the game. "Exactly. But that won't matter for long.," Ken perked up at the comment. [i]What? [/i]"I enter my battle phase, and I attack with my monster. Ken couldn't make out any facial features of the strong spellcaster because of the helmet covering most of his face, but the realistic hologram seemed to eye him with a look of cold indifference. A look that Ken knew all too well. The knight pointed the wand at his set monster as it gathered power, though Ken didn't pay any attention to that. He knew Spirit of the Harp couldn't survive with only 2000 DEF and that his life points would be safe. Instead, he focused on Mark's earlier comment about the equip spell. He knew that Equip Spell Cards, unlike the other spell cards, stayed on the field after they are activated. So he found it strange that Mark would say that the card wouldn't be on the field for long. Clicking on the spell card, it's effect was displayed on the monitor. A female screech filled Ken’s ears, and he knew his monster was destroyed, but that didn't come as a real surprise. He eyes grew wide when he realized that Wonder Wand also had a second effect. [i]So THAT'S what he meant when he said . . . but I can't stop it. There's nothing I can do but acce- [/i]Ken's eyes slowly drifted to his set spell. An idea suddenly struck him as he raised his shoulders and showed a new attentiveness that didn't go unnoticed. "Oh my. Somebody looks pretty heated up. I knew you would like this game once you get the hang of it." But Ken barely heard him, lost in his own plans: [i]Since Mystical Space Typhoon is a quick play I can use it and destroy his wander wand before he gets the 2nd effect. [/i]“I enter my Main Phase 2 and activate the effect of my-" "On no you don't!" Ken interrupted confidently. "I activate my quick-play Mystical Space Typhoon!" Upon touching the appropriate commands, the set spell card flipped up and revealed itself. "I can destroy your spell and stop you from getting to draw two cards!" He grinned as a powerful gust of wind spread across the field. It grew in intensity until Breaker's cape was bellowing about, and it could no longer hold onto the wand. It slipped from his grasp as it, and the card behind Breaker, shattered into a stream of data. Mark couldn't help but smile at Ken’s impressive display. He felt it may have been a little late, but still pretty good for a new comer. Most players would have just used MST and would end up destroying their own cards; either that or they would believe that it would negate the activation of the destroyed card. "That was pretty good. If you would have used it earlier, my monster wouldn't have been able to destroy your Spirit of the Harp. Even better, if you would have used it when I attacked, I would have taken damage. Let's move a little faster now that you got the hang of it better." He pressed a few commands on his monitor and a vertical card appeared behind Breaker. "I end my turn." The auto-draw function added a third card to Ken’s hand, giving him the same amount as Mark. He quickly looked across the field, weary of the face-down card behind Breaker, but didn't have many options. [i]Ganabara Knight doesn’t have any ATK and Shine Knight has low ATK, but it sure does have a lot of DEF. I guess I can try to defend until I get a stronger monster, but I'll never win that way. [/i]Glancing at his newly acquired card, Ken smiled. [i]Now that's more like it! With 1800 ATK, I can easily destroy his monster AND I don't have to defend with Shine Knight. [/i]He glanced at Shine Knight again before selecting the command to summon Trident Warrior. Then, an idea struck him. Re-reading the effect of Shine Knight and Trident Warrior, Ken tried to remember what the book said about Xyz. Smiling even more, ken began to excitedly explain his plan. "I summon Trident Warrior and activate his effect. When Trident Warrior is Normal Summoned, I can Special Summon one level 3 or lower monster from my hand. I choose the level 3 monster Shine Knight, but I bring him out in defense position. Then that card's effect activates. While it is in Defense Mode, he is treated as a level 4 monster. And since I have two monsters with the same level, I can perform a Xyz Summon!" The monsters appeared and disappeared just as quickly as Ken explained his actions. The tan, toned warrior with green body armor that contrasted with its blue dress-like bottom was joined quickly by the other monster, a blue colored suit of armor with a cape of pure light that shined brightly. The monsters barely had the chance to ready their weapons before they quickly disappeared into orbs of light that floated toward the ceiling of the chamber. Looking through his Extra Deck, Ken had only 2 monsters he could summon. Although one was stronger than the other, the weaker monster had an effect that would keep itself from being destroyed not once, but twice! "I summon the Rank 4 Xyz monster," The two orbs of light in the sky separated as a dimensional raft opened between the two. Images of a beautiful, star-dotted galaxy filled the void as sweet music notes escaped the dimension. The sound started as a low symphony at first, but continued to increase in tempo until a beautiful crescendo of sound filled the ears of the duelists. "Maestroke the Symphony Djinn!" Out of the rift appeared a decorative musician in professional attire of black, red, and gold. Brandishing a thicker version of a rapier, only one demonic eye of the musical fiend was visible through its detailed hat designed to match the fiend’s intricate outfit. It's single, visible demonic eye burned holes through Breaker (ATK: 1800). "Now attack his monster Maestroke!" Ken shouted, so lost in the excitement that he almost forgot to actually press the command for the action. Maestroke leaped toward Breaker and their blades clashed, releasing a beautiful resonating sound throughout the field. Quickly overpowering Breaker, Maestroke knocked away its sword and pierced the spellcasters stomach. Slowly releasing the blood stained blade, a sound of synching notes filling the room, Breaker fell to the ground and dispersed into data as Maestroke walked dutifully back to his original position (Mark LP: 4000>3800). Ken was enthusiastic by the turn of events. It was strange, but he got a small rush of excitement as he masterminded a small combo that resulted in such an amazing play. The holograms also added to his ecstatic feeling. Watching the life-like creatures do battle from a seat was one thing, but being up close to see the detail in them was even better! The battle he just witnessed was so graphic that he forgot he was watching holograms until Mark's monster dispersed. "Well that's all for me," Ken giddily stated while pressing some buttons on his monitor. Mark eyed his newly acquired card with interest. He looked across his 3 other cards, and grinned. "I set a monster and end my turn." Ken couldn't believe it. Mark had absolutely nothing against his Xyz. Looking at his new card, Ken was disappointed that it was another Mystical Space Typhoon, but his confidence was still strong. [i]Now I can see what his has back there. Since he didn't activate it when Maestroke attacked, it bet it's just a bluff. Even so, I might as well get rid of it now. [/i]"I activate another Mystical Space Typhoon." Another strong wind filled the chamber, gaining strength as it moved across the field. "Not this time Ken. I chain my trap card, Reckless Greed!" "Wait! What? What do you mean 'chain'?" "It's another game mechanic. The guide probably mentioned this briefly, but every effect that activates starts a chain. When an effect is activated, a player can choose to respond to that card's activation. In simplest turns, this is a chain. To add to that, a chain always resolves backwards. So in this case, my reckless greed allows me to draw 2 cards, then it is destroyed by your MST." Mouth slightly open, Ken was shocked to learn about chains. [i]I vaguely remember about chains from the guide . . . vaguely. [/i]Seeing as Mark already got his new cards, Ken continued his turn. Remembering what Mark told him about not mentioning everything, he pressed the command that made Maestroke attack. As Maestroke lunged toward the horizontal card, a small magician with a tub-like helmet tried, hilariously, to crawl from underneath it in an attempt to escape. Maestroke impaled the card, destroying the monster. "I end my turn," Ken announced, somehow feeling obligated to do so. Mark LP: 3800 Hand: 5 Field: 0 Ken LP: 4000 Hand 1: Field. Maestroke the Symphony Djinn Mark disabled the auto draw function, and he didn't manually draw a new card either. Noticing Ken's bewildered, Mark quickly explained, "Reckless greed forces me to skip my next two draw phases. This is the first one, though that hardly matters since this duel will end this turn." "How?" Surprise evident on his face. "Well this is how. I summon Magical Exemplar (ATK: 1700),” A serene looking female appeared into the field. Her eyes were slightly open as she stared indifferently at Ken. The decorative, green robes with golden ornaments glowed with a slight aura. “Next I activate the field spell Magical Citadel of Endymion." The whole chamber slowly turned into the room of a castle. The white pillars pooped up on both sides of the field, and a red carpet that seriated the fields that led to a black and gold throne. [i]I remember Field Spells. Those are cards that apply to every monster on the field, and don't count toward the 5 spell and trap card limit. I wonder what this card does. [/i]"When a spell card is activated, my monster gains 2 spell counters. Continuing the trend, I activate Double Summon. Honestly, I won't use the effect of the card this turn, so I'm not going to bother explaining what it does. Also, my citadel gets 1 counter for every spell that I use. Next I activate Spell Power Grasp. This card places 1 spell counter on a card I control in addition to any that card would gain form it's activation. The target is my Citadel. Also, I can get another one to replace it from my deck." Finally slowing down to search through his digital deck for another Spell Power Grasp, Ken could catch up to the situation. Mark caught him off guard as he played card after card after card, even if he provided quick explanations. The Citadel throne room grew brighter with its 3 counters, while Magical Exemplar had 6 floating orbs around her, representing her counter number. Ken didn't know what those counters would be used for, but having that many could not be a good thing for him. Mark continued his fast play after his 2nd Spell Power Grasp joined his other card, throwing card after card into play. Lucky for Ken, they were mostly the same card. "Now I activate Toon Table of Contents," a child-like book appeared in the center of the field, floating diligently as if waiting for someone to open it. "This lets me add a card with 'Toon' in its card name from my deck. So I’ll just choose another Toon Table of Contents. Then repeat the process." The children’s book opened up to reveal a picture of a book identical to it, before disappearing, then being replaced by the same book. "I never thought you could add itself to your hand when it comes to cards like that, "Ken grumbled.”So now what? Are you going to keep adding that spell to your hand until you have infinite counters?" Mark smiled at the statement while he looked through his deck for a fourth card to add to his hand. "As amazing as that would be, any player is only allowed to have a maximum of 3 of each card in their deck. This is called the rule of 3." "That's stupid. Why limit cards to 3 of each?" He shrugged mockingly, saying with a tone full of playful sarcasm "I don't know. Maybe so I don't get infinite counters like this? Trust me; you will hate it when you see why I'm accumulating all these counters." He flashed a mischievous grin as he selected his last searched card, Toon World, and activated it (Mark LP: 3800>2800). Toon World looked similar to the spell book that searched it out, however the book was open to a dark city that looked shady and ominous, a chilling fog emitting from it. It probably would be even more creepy to Ken under normal circumstances, he reasoned, as the throne room of the Citadel was now growing blindingly bright, the air humming with power. At the edge of his vision, Ken constantly made out the ghostly shape of an imposing figure sitting on the throne. But whenever he looked directly at the area, he saw nothing. [i]Either this is some crazy effect of the castle or I’m going crazy.[/i] "Now that I'm done preparing, I can end this. My beautiful castle now has 7 Counters, while my Exemplar has 14 counters, and I use her effect. By removing 2 counters, I can Special Summon a Spellcaster from my hand or Graveyard with a level equal to the number of counters I removed. So return to the field, Frequency Magician!" Two orbs from around Mark's lone spellcaster slowly vanished into the light of the room. The monster with the tub-like helmet appeared out of the radiance. It was a ghostly shape at first. Then, it started to gain form, which led to structure and, eventually, a physical presence. The magician smiled wickedly when it reformed, even winking mockingly at Maestroke (ATK: 800). "It's a shame to waste all those counters, but I have enough. Now pay attention Ken 'cause here's another lesson. Xyz are the newest monsters to change the game but before they came, monsters called Synchros ruled the scene." "Synchros" Ken restated, dumbfounded. "Yeah. Just like Xyz, they exist in your Extra Deck. However, to summon them, you need a monster that is a Tuner and a monster that is not a Tuner on your side of the field. Then you send those cards to the Graveyard, add up their levels, and summon an appropriate Synchros Monsters from your Extra Deck. As I've said this is hands on, so let me show. I tune Magical Exemplar with Frequency Magician." Focused entirely on this 'new' type of summon and monster, Ken saw Frequency Magician disappear into two giant purple rings that encircled the female spellcaster. Two blue, shining star-like orbs moved into the serene spellcaster and her whole body became outlined as if it was a blueprint for a machine. Four stars existed in the monsters blueprint already, but they combined with the two stars that traversed into it. Quickly and suddenly, the stars aligned vertically as a bright flash illuminated the whole chamber, out-shining even the bright light from Mark's field spell, a light so bright that Ken had to cover his eyes until the brilliant radiance died out. "Say hello to my Synchro Monster, Tempest Magician." Ken lowered his arms from his eyes as he slowly opened them. Tempest Magician, in ways, looked like an older version of the female spellcaster used to summon her. Her robes were similar to Magical Exemplar’s; except they were a shade of blue with a few Egyptian like patterns flowing down them. Her face was fierce, like she was ready for battle, and the small bats flying around her only added to the illusion. Her deathly scythe had the thin, solid shape of a skeletal creature while the blade appeared almost transparent and seemed to be made out of pure energy. To Ken, she was a creature more majestic and fearsome then Red Dragon Archfiend. In his current situation, she truly was (ATK: 2200). "The final part of this lesson is the end of the duel. To be honest, this duel was dragged out because of your lack of experience and how you needed getting used to everything. Duels in the pro league will last longer. It's only appropriate, as you will probably have a better deck and the skill level will be a lot closer." Nodding his head with understanding, Ken replied "but what else is there to teach me? I know that you have to win by reducing my Life Points to zero, or if I run out of cards to draw. So you're obviously going with the latter." [i]Though I don't see how he is going to do that. His new monster doesn't a lot of ATK. In addition, her effect allows her to inflict 500 points of damage by removing a spell counter from her. That's not really a big deal since she doesn't gain any counters with her summon, like how Breaker the Magical Warrior does. Even though she can put counters on herself, Mark has to discard a card to do so, and he only has one! He can only deal me 500 points of damage. If he attacks, my monster can protect itself, and then next turn I can use Maestrokes effect and force her into defense and destroy it! There is just no way that I can lose.[/i] "I'll teach you about what is killed an OTK." [i]An OTK? [/i]"It stands for 'one turn kill'. It is pretty uncommon, yet the most feared method of defeat in duel monsters. An OTK is the method of causing a player to lose in one turn. This can be done by dealing a player 4000 or more points of damage or having them draw through their whole deck, forcing a deck-out. Now I activate the effect of Tempest Magician." Mark discarded his last remaining card in his hand, but shocked Ken when he placed the counter on his field spell. [i]Why would he do that? Now his monster doesn't have any counters on herself to remove. He can't deal me any damage. [/i]"Now for the finale," he exclaimed rather dramatically, "I activate the 2nd effect of my Synchro. By removing counters from anywhere on the field, you take 500 damage for each one!" "What! Anywhere?" Ken quickly read the effect of Tempest Magician on his screen again and gasped. "No way," he choked. "That's crazy!" The throne room grew even brighter as the air began to hum even louder with power. The fierce spellcaster pointed her stave directly at Ken as it charged with bright, pure energy. In the back of his mind, Ken knew that the image before him was just that; an image. A hologram. Yet that didn't stop him from closing his eyes in fear as the powerful beam of light shoot toward him. (Ken LP: 4000>0). The holograms faded and the monitor declared Ken the loser, while Mark's undoubtedly declared him the winner. Over the initial shock of his lose, and furthermore his reactions, Ken became increasingly aware of his surroundings. He was surprised to see that many programmers and workers in the area had watched the duel. Now that it was over, most continued to shuffle along or return to their previous task. After Mark shut down the database and duel field for others to have a more appropriate use for the holographic projector, Mark handed Ken a stack of papers. "That was a pretty fun duel Ken. You learned pretty fast for somebody who read the guide for only 10 minutes," he politely complimented. "Thanks," Ken replied with a sheepish grin. "It was a lot more exciting than I thought. I kind of see what all the hype is about now. What are these papers for?" "It's a lot more in-depth rulings of the game mechanics of duel monsters. What we did today was basic stuff. Now that you have experienced the game for yourself, I' sure you can handle the more complicated stuff." "Cool cool. Thanks for the help Mark." Ken glanced at one of the nearby computers and noticed the past midnight times, yawning as exhaustion overcame. "I haven't had a decent break sense I got back from my mission earlier. Well good night Mark." Ken wished him as he started heading to his room. "Night Ken," Mark called after him. "Oh and give some thought into what kind of deck you want to build yourself before you see me tomorrow." [/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted July 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2012 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted July 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 14, 2012 *la sigh* bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted July 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2012 getting chapter 5 completed and edited. should have it up soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted July 29, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2012 Chapter 5 is out and this one wasn't exactly tough, but I was honestly having problems deciding if I should allow the duel to go into one chapter or two. And what do you know? HURRAY FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT [Spoiler=Mission 5] "Let me get this straight Ken; you are leaving tomorrow for a mission to become a pro duelist?" Drake asked skeptically, popping a grape into his mouth. "Pretty much. It's kind of silly but eh, it has its perks." He was also eating light food as well, opting to take a few blueberries from his plate. The NIGHTLOCK cafeteria was alive with a plethora of silly chatter. A few people talking about a mission was common knowledge. However, just as Raine told Ken days ago, people are told on a need-to-know basis; friends included. Ken's best friend crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat, studying him with that mischievous gleam in his sky blue eyes that Ken has come to recognize over the years. Grinning slightly, Drakes eyes took on a calculating look. Crap. "That's a funny thing for Raine to do, don't you think?" "Not really," Ken dismissively replied, not too quickly but not too late, keeping his voice steady the entire time. Drake kept up his small grin and ran a hand through his silk, blonde hair. His eyebrows rose slightly, so slightly that any other person would mistake it as a twitch, or not notice it at all. But not Ken. "Well I certainly find it strange," His voice was just as light and even as Kens. He even countered Ken’s dismissive undertone with an aggressive undertone of his own. "If Raine needed somebody for your mission, then Mark would have been the far better choice. After all, he already knows how to play AND he's a f***ing genius. Your only real asset is the row of dead bodies you leave everywhere you go." Ken's eyebrow twitched. Slightly. Extremely slightly. He cursed inward, knowing that Drake had got him. He was a really good liar. So good, in fact, that just for laughs he convinced a lie detector machine that he was a purple panda that loves strawberry jam. He hated strawberry jam. Anyway despite Kens lying skills, his slight tell gave him away. It didn't help that Drake knew him just as well as Ken knew Drake. The fact that Drake specialized in interrogation was an added bonus. Ken pushed his plate of food away. "That was a dick move. Plus, you are reading me. Again." "Well you are lying to me," he popped another fruit into his mouth, "Again." "Hmph. It's not a lie, it's just-" "Yeah yeah I know. It's just telling me what I need to know. But man old habits die hard, ya know?" Ken nodded his head. He knew exactly what his friend meant. Ken has had to lead many different identities and is so used to lying that it's almost second nature. Almost. Drake is good at getting information and piecing together something from nothing. His interrogator mindset and actions were almost second nature to him as well. Almost. "Oh by the way, where's Sarah?" Drake practically beamed at the mention of his girlfriend’s name. "She's still away on her mission. Actually, she finished yesterday, and she told me that she should be back by tomorrow." He reached for his plate of fruit but realized he ate them all. Instead, he opted to pick from Ken's plate. "I hope she gets back before I leave. Well," he stood up, pushing away from the table. "I have to go see Mark. I ordered my decks yesterday and we are going to have a final duel to see if I'm ready." Drake got up himself. "It's about time for me to leave myself. Raine has got an assignment for me." "More interrogation?" Ken asked curiously. He shrugged, "I'm not sure. This was kind of a last minute thing I received this morning." "Hmm I see. Well good luck with Rain and her presence." "Haha good luck with your children's card game." After giving Ken a quick wink and flashing a playful grin, he was off. And so was Ken. ----------**********---------- After Ken had his first duel, he read the more advanced rules and game mechanics that Mark had given him. The first thing he quickly drew conclusions about was that what card text says a card can do, and what that card can actually do, isn't so simple. The rulings on cards such as [i]Light and Darkness Dragon vs. Counter Traps[/i] were one that many players had problems with. Though he was no expert in any way, shape, or form, he figured only players with a slight understanding of the game had problems with it. After all, Spell Speed 2's can NEVER match a Spell Speed 3. Unless someone happened to mention the Bountiful Artemis. Or Super Polymerization. But even those few cards that break game mechanics aren't used that often. Another thing he realized was the game state. The Duel Monsters company would limit cards every few months or so, to allow for more competitive play. After learning more about the game and what the list looks now, Ken realized that was bullshit. Not complete and total bullshit. But mostly bullshit. After all, cards such as Chaos Emperor Dragon, Maykura the Destructor, Magician of Faith, Yata-Garasu, Fishborg Blaster, Painful Choice, Pot of Greed, Graceful Charity, and a host of others have been banned for years, because they have been deemed too powerful and just bad for competitive play and the game in general. But some cards that were put on the ban list, such as Spore or Mind Master is random and was obviously meant to promote newer cards, such as the Xyz monsters. What Ken found was one of the most confusing things about the game is deck building, broken cards, and what players refer to as Meta. In terms of deck building, most decks have more monsters then spells or traps, 40 cards in the main deck, and 15 cards in the extra deck. This is for competitive play and pretty much all top decks follow this format. The other thing that makes a strong, competitive deck is consistency. A deck needed to be strong, and it needed to be strong a lot. So a deck of lesser cards, theoretically, gives a player a better chance of getting what they need. The problem Ken has with the state of deck building is that this consistency leads to multiple copies the same cards being used, leading to a single strategy that is easy to disrupt. It also decreases the originality of decks and dueling. It would be hard for Ken to stand out if he has the same deck as someone else, which is the common case in tournaments all over the world. Pro duelists are different though. Their decks are, quite frankly, unique. They don't fall into the common conformity of using the same decks as everyone else, and they often use one of each card, for variety. The other thing that makes pros unique is that only they can use their cards to the fullest potential. It's weird and makes almost no sense, but many pros found victory on the brink from cards that should have limited consistency. [i]That [/i]is where pro's different from amateurs. That is where Ken [i]must [/i]shine. The other thing that Ken was confused about was broken cards. Those are cards that give a player a distinct or overwhelming advantage over another player with little loss to the player that uses the card. In competitive play, this scenario would certainly be considered ideal. At least, that is what Ken believed. After all, wouldn't a player want to get an advantage over their opponent with minimum loss to themselves? But some cards are just too strong, such as the plethora of cards that are banned. Yet some cards aren't banned or limited and is just as powerful, such as the infamous Rescue Rabbit, Inzektor Hornet, or Future Fusion. After referencing various sources, many people agree that these cards are broken, and deserve to be banned to some degree. However, aren't they broken because of [i]other [/i]cards? Rescue Rabbit is meant to support normal monsters of level 4 or lower, yet it's only broken because of [i]other [/i]cards that have been created, such as Xyz monsters. Future Fusion is another example. It was considered broken when used to set up the grave for a horribly inconsistent Cyber Dragon OTK many years back. Then Dragons got a use out of it, with the creation of Dragunity's, and it got even worse when the Chaos Dragons were released, then the Hieroglyph archetype. But that goes back to the original point, of Future Fusion being broken because those cards existed in the first place. Better yet, Ken thought Future Fusion was truly considered broken because Five-Headed Dragon existed. But that's just him. Finally, Ken had to draw his own conclusions on the current Meta game. The state that dominates the game and dictates the way most decks are built, which is another reason why the ban list is changed every now and then. Currently, the format is built to allow OTK, Chaos, Special Summon, and Broken Control (as Ken calls it) to thrive. Because that's what to be expected, Ken had to build a deck that works for him and is completely unexpected. It seems silly, but he spent hours looking for just that right deck to be competitive, yet still have some originality that would make him stand out. After a few more hours of building, thinking, and referencing, he created two deck builds that practically called out to him. Both were strong, and he figured having two decks, one for casual play and one for competitive play, couldn't hurt. Ken walked into the training room, surprised to see Mark was already there. Dressed in his standard uniform, he stood with a duel disk attached to his arm. Grinning as usual, Mark talked very cheerily. "Alright, now that you're here, we can get this final training session on the way. I hope you brought your deck." "Of course I did," Ken walked over to the duel disk laying about 30 feet away from Mark. It looked the exact same as his, which is to say it looked like a standard duel disk that anybody could get. Ken inserted his casual deck into the deck slot for his main deck, and his extra deck into a compartment underneath his main deck slot. The duel disk activated at the insertions of the two decks, flipping out from its curled up form on his left arm. Ken quickly took in the wide, empty training room. Various workout equipment was set up around the perimeter, and one wall even had a mirror. The room was empty, which suited Ken just fine, but the sinking feeling in his stomach didn't. [i]Huh? [/i]Ken thought, giving his head a quick shake. [i]I never have such dreadful feelings, so no point in starting now. [/i]"Alright, let's get this show on the road Mark," he said excitedly "Finally," Mark replied equally as excited as Ken. "I've been itching to get a real duel in since I started teaching you. No holding back Ken." "I wouldn't have it any other way." "DUEL!" both shouted in unison. Ken found it extremely awkward to say at first and even did now, but Mark insisted that he gets used to it. Ken took the initiative and drew his sixth card to go first. He looked over his hand, quickly forming a plan. [i]Hmmm not bad for a start. I can set up a defense with Ryko, knock out one of his cards, and even set up my Graveyard for Monster Reborn. If he summons something too powerful, Mirror Force will handle it. [/i]"I set 2 cards and end my turn." A horizontal card appeared face down on the field, a result of the ingenious technology of the Duel Disk that allowed for duels to happen anywhere. Behind the horizontal card was the back of a vertical card, Ken's Mirror Force. Mark drew casually, barely glancing at his sixth card before moving to a card in the middle of his hand. "I'm really wondering what kind of deck you're using. Seeing as it's going to be your tournament deck, I have to make sure that it's strong. So if you can't handle this variant, then you definitely can't handle the competitive ones. I summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Rescue_Rabbit"]Rescue Rabbit[/url]!" Ken raised an eyebrow, but otherwise kept his poker face. [i]f***. [/i]Summoned onto the field was an adorable looking rabbit with a construction helmet on top of its head. It had a furry mustache and wiggled its nose. It acted cute on the surface but, deep down, it held a fearsome power. "I'm sure you know what this card does, so I’m not even going to bore you with an explanation. I release the animal." Mark reached into his deck to search for whatever he was going to summon, probably a dinosaur, while the rabbit hopped and bounced around the dueling field, eventually jumping into a black hole that opened up on the field. Mark found his two cards and placed his deck back into the slot, where the duel disk shuffled it. "I summon two [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Flying_Penguin"]Flying Penguins[/url]." NOW Ken broke his poker face, surprise evident on his face. "Penguins . . . you summoned two . . . penguins?" 2 Penguins jumped out of the whole, looking like regular penguins except bigger and blue. They had giant ears that faded into their eyebrow and two red, tribal like marks underneath their green eyes, like they're ready for war (ATK: 1200). "Hehe surprised Ken?" Ken blinked twice at the two penguins before him. "Uhm, well . . . yes," he replied, dumbfounded. "That's understandable. This combination is . . . unusual but hey, I have a thing for penguins." As if in response to Marks words, the two penguins made a screeching sound at Ken. [i]That's kind of freaky. Sense when did penguins screech?[/i] "So as an old friend would say, one day the penguins will fly!" The two penguins flew into the air, turning into waves of water that spiraled into each other. They connected, forming a liquid sphere that continued to just grow and grow and grow. Once the sphere reached a certain size, the water stopped spiraling around it and the sphere stood suspended in the air. Noticing a shape in the liquidly orb, Ken looked closer to it. He shivered when piercing red eyes suddenly glared at him through the liquidly orb. "Say hello to [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Bahamut_Shark"]Bahamut Shark[/url]!" Just as Mark slapped the card into the duel disk, the giant shark bellowed out a powerful howl that echoed across the room, breaking its watery prison. The creature slowly floated down and touched the ground, towering over Ken and Mark. It had a serpent-like tail that looked like part of a shark’s body at the torso that also connected to its upper body, which looked toned and muscular. Its powerful looking legs stretched out on both sides of its torso, allowing the sea creature to stand up. The ancient sea beast was complete with two arms, giant claws, four wings, and a head akin with traits of various sea urchin. It's Blue and White colors allowed Ken to make out other details that he may have missed, such as two big gold rings; one attached to each arm (ATK: 2600, RANK: 4). [i]That thing is pretty fierce but, [/i]Ken shoot a quick glance at his trap, [i]Mirror Force will protect me.[/i] "I detach an Xyz Material from my ancient creature, allowing me to summon a rank 3 or lower Xyz Material from my Extra Deck." The, recently developed, duelists inside Ken perked up. [i]Great, an Xyz that summons more Xyz. I bet people would love to say how broken it is, but an Xyz with no material is pretty much useless[/i]. "So come on out [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Number_30:_Acid_Golem_of_Destruction"]Number 30: Acid Golem of Destruction[/url]!" [i]What? [/i]More confusion. Ken has never even heard of the combo's Mark is using, despite the extensive research he has already done. Though he knew exactly what acid golem did, as it was the biggest double-edge Xyz in the game. It demands sacrifice so, without any material, it will force it's user to sacrifice 2000 life points; not caring if the user is destroyed or not. So why would Mark summon that of all monsters, knowing that it would burn it's controller to - wait. [i]Burn it's controller. s***. [/i] One of the rings on Bahamut Shark shattered off its muscular arm and shimmered in the air as the monster let out another piercing yell. Surprisingly, nothing happened. The air stood still and the holograms became unmoving. Ken thought there was a malfunction until a thin line that distorted the air appeared behind Mark. Then cylinder shaped objects appeared out of the distorted space, pulling apart the air. Ken gasped and stumbled backward in shock. A skeletal like face, twisted and contorted in pain, stared at him. A long arm shot out from the portal, slamming into the ground and shaking the field. The rest of the creature slowly came out of it. Far bigger than the feeble creature that summoned it, acid golem had to kneel over Mark, and even then it was barely able to fit inside the room (ATK: 3000, RANK: 3). "Seeing as none of my monsters can attack, I'm sure you know what's coming next." [i]s***. [/i]"I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Mystic_Box"]Mystic Box[/url]." [i]s***. [/i]An old magician box appeared on top of Ken's horizontal facedown. A saw appeared out of thin air, grinding into the box until it was cut in half. His Ryko's yelps and whines of pain echoed across the room. "Don't worry Ken; I won't leave you alone like that. You can have my acid golem." [i]s***. [/i]The giant monster painstakingly made its way across the field until it was kneeling over Ken instead of Mark, facing its old master. "I'll set two facedown card and end my turn. So, Ken, let’s see if you can handle this situation," he baited while holding a mischievous grin. Ken looked back up into the dead eyes of acid golem, the look of pain twisted onto the mighty creatures face. It still shocked him at how realistic the holograms were, but he also couldn't help but feel remorse for the poor monster. It had so much power yet so much weight to bear because of it. And soon, he gulped, that burden would be his to share. [/Spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted July 30, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2012 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guuu1234 Posted July 31, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2012 Here is chapter 6 for anybody that actually reads this. [Spoiler=Mission 6] Ken barely glanced at the card he had drawn because he immediately looked into the face of [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Number_30:_Acid_Golem_of_Destruction"]Number 30: Acid Golem if Destruction[/url]. The creature let out a pained yell, puffs of gas came out of the cylinder shaped tubes scattered throughout its body. Unable to gain the sacrifice of a Xyz material, the mighty giant leered at Ken; globs of liquid acid replaced the gas from the cylinders and fell toward Ken. He jumped out of the way of the acidic material, not wanting to take a chance with the realistic projection towering over him. Ken LP: 4000>2000 Hand: 5 Field: Number 30: Acid Golem of Destruction, 1 facedown trap. Mark LP: 4000 Hand: 2 Field: Bahamut Shark, 2 facedown spell or trap [i]Damn. [/i]Ken looked at the card he had drawn, Solemn Judgment. [i]Why couldn't I have had this before? [/i]He glanced at Mark's side of the field, knowing he would need to get rid of Bahamut Shark, but also knowing that he couldn't. Not without sacrificing valuable life points that he no longer had at least. He looked at Acid Golem. [i]That is my priority. If I don't get rid of that this turn, then I WILL lose when I pass. Luckily, [/i]he grinned while reaching for one of his cards, [i]I have just the thing for it. [/i]"This Xyz may prevent me from special summoning, but I'm not going to let that stop me. I tribute it to summon[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Manticore_of_Darkness"] Manticore of Darkness[/url]!" Acid golem disappeared into pixel data, only for an excessively muscular, humanoid beast with the head of a lion to appear onto the field, stretching its massive, black wings (ATK: 2300). "I finish with 2 facedowns." "Nicely done," Mark said approvingly, drawing a card. "I didn't think you would have anything for that combo. But you still didn't get rid of my Bahamut Shark, plus you left your monster in attack mode. You are wide open for damage!" Ken raised his eyes in surprise and clenched the two cards in his hand tighter, realizing his mistake. "Anyway I take it my facedown cards stopped you from taking any real action, but they were a bluff. I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Salvage"]Salvage[/url]." [i]That lets him add two WATER monsters with 1500 or less attack from his graveyard to his hand. He must be taking his Flying Penguins. "[/i]Now I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Moray_of_Greed"]Moray of Greed[/url], returning the two penguins I salvaged to my deck. Then I can draw 3 cards." He eyed his 3 new cards, nodding approvingly. "Bahamut Shark's effect is next, and I think I'll summon [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Submersible_Carrier_Aero_Shark"]Submersible Carrier Aero Shark[/url]." The other ring on the arm of the mighty sea creature shattered and scattered into the air, opening up another void in the air similar to the last time Mark used its effect. Shooting out of the void, two sharks connected at the head by what appeared to be an orange, old style airplane flew around the field, eventually resting next to Bahamut Shark (ATK: 1900, RANK: 3). "I have a feeling that this turn is going to take a while," muttered Ken. "That's probably the only downfall about my deck. My turns do take a long time. Anyway you should just set back and enjoy what’s coming. I tribute Bahamut Shark for [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/The_Great_Emperor_Penguin"]The Great Emperor Penguin[/url]." The ancient sea creature dispersed into data, only for it to reform into the shape of a giant penguin. It looked like a regular penguin, except about 10 times bigger. The head of the aqua monster had long strands of light hair that traveled down the back of it. "Don't worry about him, because I activate his effect. By tributing him, I can summon 2 more penguin monsters from my deck." Similar to when Rescue Rabbit was used earlier, a giant hole opened up in the middle of the field. The giant penguin wobbled over to it, then toppled into the void. Out of it came two more Flying Penguins. They didn't last long on the field themselves, as they flew into the air and turned into two orbs of light. The orbs circled around each other, moving faster and faster until the room flashed with a blinding light. Ken closed his eyes until the bright illumination ended. He slowly opened them, his vision coming into place until his eyes focused perfectly on the pure white soldier standing calmly across the field with his arms crossed. It took Ken a second to realize the Xyz monster was [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Gem-Knight_Pearl"]Gem-Knight Pearl [/url](ATK: 2600, RANK: 4). "Attack his lone monster Pearl." The knight charged lightning fast across the field, ending up in front of Manticore of Darkness with almost blinding speed. Flustered, Ken almost missed the opportunity to activate his trap. "I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Mirror_Force"]Mirror Force[/url], wiping out all your monsters!" Gem-Knight Pearl punched into a barrier that appeared around the beast’s heart, slowly being pushed back as the magical shield crackled with energy. "You didn't think I would attack without some kind of protection did you? I negate your card with [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Seven_Tools_of_the_Bandit"]Seven Tools of the Bandit [/url](Marks LP: 4000>3000)." Pearl's fist recoiled from the powerful barrier. Not backing down, the monster jabbed another fist it. This time, instead of being forced back, the barrier shattered into pieces. Quickly, the majestic warrior slammed another fist into the stomach of the the winged-beast. "Looks like this is it Ken. It's kind of disappointing that our duels don't last longer than a few turns." Now it was Kens turn to smile. "Actually, this duel is NOT over. Now that we are in the damage step, I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Horn_of_the_Phantom_Beast"]Horn of the Phantom Beast[/url]. This gives my monster an additional 800 attack points!" Another one of Ken’s vertical facedown cards flipped face up, purple tendrils escaping the hologram card and surrounding Ken’s beast. The monsters muscles tensed, its jaw became tight, it's eyes flashed with anger, and the creature bellowed with fury (ATK 2300>3100). The radiant warrior stumbled backward, only to have the manticore's powerful jaws snap onto its neck. The mighty beast gave a single, powerful bite. A sickening [i]snap [/i]echoed across the room. Gem-Knight Pear jerked quickly and, just as suddenly, it's whole body became stiff (Marks LP: 3000>2500). "Also, since my monster equipped with Horn of the Phantom Beast destroyed another monster in battle, I get to draw a card." Mark's face practically beamed. "Good Job. You really have improved. That means I better stop holding back." Mark set two more cards. "I end." "Well if that's the case," Ken drew from his deck, "then I better give it everything I've got as well." Kens LP: 2000 Hand: 4 Field: Manticore of Darkness, Horn of the Phantom Beast, Solemn Judgment Marks LP: 2500 Hand: 2 Field: Submersible Carrier Aero Shark, 2 facedown spells or traps. [i]Ugh, I say that like I'm not already giving it my best. Though now that I have King Tiger Wanghu, I can win this turn. Plus, with Solemn Judgment, I can negate anything that he throws at me [/i]"I Summon[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/King_Tiger_Wanghu"] King Tiger Wanghu[/url]," A saber-toothed tiger clad in armor appeared onto the field. However, Mark destroyed it before any details could truly be noticed. "I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Torrential_Tribute"]Torrential Tribute[/url]!" After King Tiger Wanghu hit the field, every monster on the field sunk into the ground, screaming in fear and pain. "I figured you would end up destroying my monsters. So I had a backup plan. At the cost of 1000 life points, when a beast I control is destroyed, I can summon my favorite monster: [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Green_Baboon,_Defender_of_the_Forest"]Green Baboon, Defender of the Forest[/url]." (Ken LP 2000>1000). Out of the ground of Kens falling monsters, a giant, green baboon struggled to the field. The monsters had wood-style armor, making its shoulders and back appear bigger than other body parts, and even bigger than the club in the beast’s massive hands (ATK: 2600). "Ha-ha you're thinking like a pro now. If one thing fails, always have something else to fall back on. So in light of that, here's my plan B. I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Call_of_the_Haunted"]Call of the Haunted[/url]!" "I respond with [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Solemn_Judgment"]Solemn Judgment[/url]" (Ken LP: 1000>500). Both Mark and Ken’s final facedown cards were revealed. Marks depicted a graveyard with smoke rising from tombstones. Kens depicted an imposing male figure with a hand raised, as if he was making some sort of declaration. A light shot out from Ken's trap, piercing and shattering the image of Call of the Haunted. The air was still. Both players stared at each other. Ken couldn't believe it. The field was clear. His monster was strong enough. All he had to do was declare an attack and he beat Mark. He would win his first duel. But Mark didn't look angry, or sad, or annoyed, or any other emotion that one would feel when faced with defeat. In fact, he looked happy. As if he was having the best time of his life. "I see what you did there, with Solemn Judgment and Green Baboon. That was a really skilled play you made there. In terms of dueling and skill, you have come a really long way in just a couple of days. The play you just made out of the plays that you could [i]have[/i] made confirms that. I'm not one for words of wisdom, but if you don't remember anything I say; remember this: As long as you enjoy a duel, you never really lose." Ken nodded his head. He understood why mark looked okay with the circumstances. He was having fun dueling Ken, so the outcome didn't matter to him. Of course, that was him. It was a whole other story for Ken. "Thanks. I'll try to remember that. End this Green Baboon, attack him directly!" Ken shouted. His giant beast lowered its head, then charged at Mark with a wild screech. The baboon slammed its club toward Mark. It struck home. The baboon, however, cocked its head to the side with a curious expression. Because the giant baboon blocked Ken’s view of Mark, he changed positions to get a better look of the scene. Mark, smiling in the face of the creature, was protected by a scarecrow that took the hit. The scarecrow faded into data and Ken’s monster slowly stumbled its way back to its original position. "What the hell" Ken said, bewildered. Noticing Ken’s confused look, Mark grinned mischievously."Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I can end the battle phase when you declare a direct attack by discarding my [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Swift_Scarecrow"]Swift Scarecrow[/url]." "Uhm isn't that card a little . . . I don't know . . . random?" As far as Ken was concerned, rabbit variants NEVER use cards like that. "You really are getting better. Most players would not use this or battle fader in a deck like mine. Then again my deck is pretty uncommon, and it's truly up to player preference. I just happened to find room for some of these in my deck." Ken nodded his head. That did make sense. Kind of. "Well before I end my turn, Manticore of Darkness effect activates. I must send a beast to my graveyard to revive him during the end phase of a turn he is sent to the graveyard. So I send Moja from my hand," Ken revealed his card to Mark before sending it to the slot for the graveyard on his duel disk, using the opportunity to retrieve Manticore of Darkness and place it on his duel disk, "and revive Manticore of Darkness (DEF: 1000). I end my turn." Mark eyed the card in his hand before drawing from his deck. His face broke out into the tiniest of grins when he saw what he got, but he immediately went to the card that he was eyeing before. "I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Pot_of_Avarice"]Pot of Avarice[/url]. I return my two Flying Penguins, Gem-Knight Pearl, Bahamut Shark, and Acid Golem to their respective places. Then I draw two cards." While Mark did what he stated, Ken quietly bashed Pot of Avarice. [i]That card gives so much advantage to a player. If all cards go back to the extra deck, it basically becomes Pot of Greed. With the Rescue Rabbits running rampant in his deck, recycling the two penguins only allows him a better chance of getting what he needs without worrying about if he will have any targets for it. I hate that card . . . when I'm not using it. [/i]Mark stared at the two cards he had drawn. Thinking deeply, he looked up at Ken’s field, then back to his cards, then back up to Ken, then back to his cards again. After what felt like forever, with the suspense of the moment at its peak, Mark made his move. "I summon Rescue Rabbit." Ken wasn't at all surprised when another adorable looking rabbit trotted onto the field (ATK: 300). He knew Mark must use 3 of the furry bunnies of doom, and he had a good chance of drawing them. What Ken didn't expect was Marks next move. "I activate [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Enemy_Controller"]Enemy Controller[/url], changing Manticore of Darkness to attack position." Another confused look plastered itself onto Ken's face. Ken's winged-beast turned from its defensive stance into a more battle ready position. "Next, I use [url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Creature_Swap"]Creature Swap[/url]!" Ken gasped. [i]No way.[/i] [i]Am I hearing right?[/i] Mark's Rescue Rabbit trotted over to join its new master as the two duelists walked toward each other. Mark gave Ken Rescue Rabbit and Ken, reluctantly, gave Mark Manticore of Darkness. He knew it didn't matter which monster Mark got, but Ken was not about to be defeated by his favorite monster. "Ha-ha there is irony in this somehow. Anyway, good game." Ken's Manticore of Darkness bellowed powerfully and charged at the defenseless rabbit. Marks poor animal must have never seen battle before, as the creature just cowered in fear. Manticore brought a massive foot down on the small animal, muffling any cries or wails (Ken's LP: 500>0). Manticore of Darkness bellowed one last time before all the holograms vanished. Mark walked over to Ken and gave him Manticore of Darkness back. "That was close. I thought you had me for a second there," He said, holding out his hand for a shake. "Yeah right." smiling, Ken smacked his hand away playfully. "You were always one step ahead of me. Even when you had Swift Scarecrow, you never seemed to lose confidence." "Well it's hard not to be confident when you have Pot of Avarice in your hand. I got it when I used Moray of Greed, and chances were I was going to draw into something decent when I used it. I guess you can say that I had faith in my deck. Or something like that." Ken couldn't help but laugh at the silly statement. "Still, that was a good game. Thanks for helping me out with my mission." "No problem. I got so caught up in the excitement that I forgot I was helping you with your mission anyway." "Really now? That's . . . interesting. But anyway I'll see you later. I've got some packing to do." ----------**********---------- "Here you go Mr. Morton. Enjoy your flight," The receptionist said with a fake smile and false cheer. Ken, or his duel monsters alias Travis Morton, passively took the ticket and proceeded to board the airplane. He managed to arrive to his seat undisturbed, and even passed the metal detectors and security checks unhindered as well. Of course, in his full business attire, nobody would suspect of being a terrorist. Or a duelists. Or an assassin. But whatever. People shuffled here and there trying to find their appropriate seat in the first-class cabin. Ken relaxed, laid his head back, and closed his eyes. He briefly wondered if his cards, clothes, and accessories would be safe wherever they stashed them, but dismissed the thought quickly. He was sure his things would be fine. Or there would be hell to pay. After his final lesson with Mark, Ken tried to find Drake and see if he wanted to hang. Instead, Raine found and debriefed him on more details of his mission. Like his new alias (Travis Morton), the tournament location (Chicago), his flight details, his living arrangements, etc. After being dismissed, Ken packed his things and went about his day. He wanted to say bye to Sarah and Drake earlier today, but they were nowhere to be found. He assumed Drake left on that mission Raine wanted to talk to him about and that Sarah wasn't back from her own mission yet. Letting his head rest on the window immediately next to him, the voice of someone talking over the intercom barely registered to him. Neither did the feeling of the plane taking off. "You dumb b****!" Ken's eyes flashed open, quickly looking across the aisle from his seat. A petite flight attendant looked flustered and scared. She quickly dropped to her knees, picking up scattered utensils and plates. There was a dark liquid on the floor that she hurriedly cleaned up to keep from spreading. She stood up, placing what she picked up back on her tray. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mea-" "SORRY!? What's that supposed to do? Huh?" The man, a husky, bald fellow eyed her disgustedly. The bottom of his shirt and the top of his pants were stained with coffee. At least Ken knew why he was pissed. Nobody likes hot liquids spilled on them, especially things that stain like coffee. The young attendant glanced down. "Uhm . . . well . . . I . . . I'm . . . uhm . . . " she just hung her head low. "Ugh forget it you stupid b****." The rude fellow got up, shoving the young female out of his way and to the ground as he made his way toward the bathroom area. "And you better not be here when I get back." A door slammed hard, causing many people to jump, especially the female attendant. Ken looked at the young female who cried silently as she picked up a few more utensils, put them on her tray, and hurried off. A nice little distraction, Ken thought. But it wasn't his business. He closed his eyes again to catch some sleep. SMACK! His eyes shoot open. Again. He turned in his seat as the air filled with the hushed murmuring of people and the quiet sobbing of someone. He finally saw the reason behind the latter. The female attendant from before was now on the ground, shaking, her hand covering her mouth, tears streaking from her eyes and dripping onto the floor. "I told you not to be here when I get back, didn't I?" The rude guy stepped over the female and walked back to his seat. His face was set like stone, his eyes rough and unforgiving. Everyone hushed as he walked by, all eyes on the man that was the bane of society. He sat back in his seat roughly, throwing mean looks around for good measure. His eyes rested on Ken, then a smug smile spread onto his face. "Is there a problem boy?" He really stressed the last word, his voice completely condescending. "Do you want some of this too?" Ken stared at the smug man. His face was passive, his eyes were emotionless. He was completely unreadable. He didn't move, he didn't so much as twitch. He just stared silently at the man. It would have taken him seconds to embarrass the older guy and decimate his pride. But he was trained better than that. As a painstaking minute passed of Ken just staring, the psychological effects of the action were starting to accumulate. No longer was the man smug, or aggressive. He was now timid, nervous. Kens reaction, or like of for that matter, made him think that maybe, just maybe, he choose the wrong person to mess with this time. Another minute slowly ticked by, and he was starting to sweat. He didn't know what Ken was going to do. He was scared. "Of course not sir," Ken said with a benign smile. He almost laughed when the man let go a breathe air he didn't even realize he was holding. "Well . . . well," he cleared his throat. "That's what I thought boy" he said after regaining his composure. Ken kept up his innocent smile and turned to look out the window, not even bothering to attempt go to sleep again. After sitting through boring movies, crappy snack food, and many obnoxious insults from an obnoxious scumbag, Ken was tired. He knew that if he went to sleep, that when he woke up, his flight would most likely be over. Or he would at least almost be to Chicago. So he closed his eyes and fell into a light sleep. A shuffling sound awoke Ken, making him feel like he didn't sleep long. After a quick observation, however, he knew that me must have because every other passenger in sight was asleep. Even the sky was pitch black above the clouds. Thinking that maybe he imagined the sound, he started to close his eyes. Then he heard it again. Really light and soft, but he heard something. He focused, listening to everything that he could until he heard the sound again. Not really a sound, though. It was more of a moan. Just like before, very light and soft. But it was definitely a moan. Ken turned toward the source, looking down the aisle and toward the bathroom area. The moans where low at first, but they steadily increased in rhythm and pace, growing louder and louder. After a final, extra loud moan, they abruptly stopped. More shuffling. A few minutes later a figure walked through the curtains. Ken glanced across the aisle from his seat and realized that the smug guy from earlier wasn't in his seat. Just then the figure walked past his line of sight and stopped. Ken stared at the slender legs of the figure, slowly traveling his eyes up the body of, what he now realized, was a woman. She wore a black, knee length dress, which explained why she blended in so well with the darkness. The dress hugged her body, matching her slim figure perfectly. Toward the top, the spaghetti straps of the dress showed of her flawless skin. Not exactly muscular, but toned without an inch of visible fat. His eyes continued to scan upward until they reached her face. Her bright red lips was the first thing he noticed, the lipstick on them really contrasting with her dark features. He hair was raven black, covering one of her eyes mysteriously and barely touching her shoulders. Then his eyes locked with hers. The two stared at each other. What got Ken the most was how she looked at him. Her face was passive. Her eyes were emotionless. She was completely unreadable, yet she had a cold way of carrying herself. Even though she was right in front of him, it felt like she was thousands of feet away. She turned away from Ken and walked away confidently, seductively. She didn't glance back at all. Ken leaned back in his chair. He stared out of his window into the pitch black night, thinking about the imposing female that just crossed his path. He was so lost in his thoughts about the mysterious female that he didn't remember if or when the smug man returned to his seat. He didn't remember falling asleep either. 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