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Alice Moonflowyr

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Alice Moonflowyr Newbie

Alice Moonflowyr

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[quote name='Dark Lightning' timestamp='1324485544' post='5721056']
[b]Name[/b]: Damon Valdis
[b]Age[/b]: 19
[b]Gender[/b]: Male
[b]Appearance[/b]: Damon stands at about 5'10, with raven black hair with enough length to firmly reach the top of his neck. The front of his hair is slightly shorter, but still long enough to have to be moved in order for Damon to see correctly. He has slick side bangs that part to the left. His eyes are an electric & vivid shade of blue, and the look in his eyes usually depicts confusion and loss. However, when involved in a battle, his eyes become fierce and focused. Damon usually wears a fitted black robe & with black or darkly shaded jeans. He subconciously wears black almost all the time, which goes along well with his personalitly.
[b]Personality[/b]: Damon is a calm, collected indivual for the most part. He is usually the type of person who thinks out his actions, and likes to have things planned in his head. However, he is also realistic; this being said, when he plans out things in his mind he is also fully aware that things will probably not go exactly as he planned them out to go. He doesn't enjoy jumping straight into situations without any insight on the situation. At times, he has personalitly flares in which he becomes highly implusive and agressive. These flares are usually triggered by battles that require Damon to be pushed to his limits. As a result of the raging side of him, he has trained himself to be in control of his emotions, so much so that he finds it difficult to handle a lot of emotional situations. On the outside, he can be depicted as a dark person, but this is mostly because he usually quietly thinking & he doesnt interact socially as much as a normal person would.
[b]Implement[/b]: Wand
[b]Primary Magic Type[/b]: Elemental (Lightning; Also fire but prefers Lightning)
[b]Secondary Magic Type[/b]: Arcane Force
[b]Tertiary(optional): [/b]Same as the above, but with a warning: N/A
[b][spoiler=Spells][/b]
Name: Raikeru Beam (Also called Lightning beam)
Type: Elemental(Lightning)
Recharge: Depending on how much power concentrated into it & how many are used 7-35 Min
What it does: Fires a high speed ray of concentrated electrical energy across a certain distance. (3-15 beams per spell usage)

Name: Electrical Manifestation
Type: Elemental(Lightning)
Recharge: 1 hour
What it does: Turns user into a manifested lightning bolt. Can be used in 2 ways
- To instantaneously jolt from one place to another
- To become an electric impluse and enter an opponent's nervous system in order to temporalily disable a simple body function (the movement of a certain muscle) *If this is used, there is a high chance that the user will mess up, and it could disrupt his own nervous system, putting a kink into his own body functions. (Not used often because of that side effect)

Name: Magen (Directly Translates to 'Shield')
Type: Can be ultilized with Either elemental or Arcane
Recharge: 25-45 min
What it does: A basic defense spell
-If ultilized with Fire : the shield will be made of flames, and will occasionally blast minor embers in random directions.
-If ultilized with Lightning: the shield will compose of bolts of lightning and will occasionally shoot small sparks in random directions
- If ultilized with Arcane: the shield will repel anything coming within 6 ft of the shield
*The user cannot do anything while the shield is activated


Name: Lightning Reinforcement
Type: Elemental ( Lightning)
Recharge: 55 min
What it does: Reinforces punches & kicks with electric impluses, causing them to do more damage than usual. [/spoiler]
[b]Safe Point[/b]: Weiaf
[b]Bio[/b]: Damon has trouble recalling a lot of things that happened in his past. The reason for this may have been because painful memories may have been supressed by his subconcious. His mind does not dwell on events that happened in the past. Of the things he does remember for certain, his father can probably be regarded as the most important memory. Damon does not remember the name of his father, he only remembers his voice and having looked up to him for a good amount of time. Damon believes that it is possible that he could have had a brother, but he tries not to linger too much on the topic.
[/quote]


K, few problems.
1. Your spells are not showing.
2. Your "handtohand combat". This is a world of wizards. Any hand-to-hand combat takes place between summoned creatures. Unless wizard is a Swordmage, which is lost. So yeah.
3. Once more, how does he know the rest of the group?

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Hass Mac Newbie

Hass Mac

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Finally, I got my app done. Now, I had a long ass talk with Dworkin and he said that part of my ancestry can be linked to signweaving, and I can have one signweaving move.

[b]Name:[/b] Abstergo Envyon

[b]Age:[/b] 16

[b]Appearance:[/b] Spiky brown hair, has very neatly trimmed facial hair(beard and goatie). Has dark green eyes which fade through brown during the course of the day. He wears loose black trousers with combat boots and a white tank-top. Normally seen wearing a neclace of a small diamond he got as a gift from his parents, although recently he has been tying it around his rod. Carries a large rod that is used for channeling his powers.

[b]Personality:[/b] A generally warm hearted person, very laid back, and generally care free. He values everyone he is close to and cares for. The Death of his parents caused him to act differently causing emotional traumas, at time he would act more defensive, and at other more sensitive. He has learn’t to value what he has left and is very grateful when someone else opens their hearts to him.

[b]Implement: [/b]Rod. Decorated with random glyphs in other tongues.

[b]Primary Magic:[/b] Elemental(Earth)

[b]Secondary Magic:[/b] Summoning


[b]Spells: [/b]

[b]Name:[/b] Earth Barrier
[b]Type:[/b] Elemental (Earth)
[b]Recharge: [/b]1 Hour
[b]What it does:[/b] Creates a Barrier of Earth (5m tall 5m wide)that shields user from attacks.

[b]Name:[/b] Rock Blast
[b]Type:[/b] Elemental (Earth)
[b]Recharge:[/b] 2 Hours
[b]What it does[/b]: Takes control of 6 large rocks and blasts it to target.

[b]Name:[/b] Rock Fist
[b]Type:[/b] Elemental (Earth)
[b]Recharge: [/b]30 Minutes.
[b]What it does: [/b]Sends two fists flying to the target that ties their hands together.

[b]Name:[/b] Concentrated Focus Beam
[b]Type: [/b]Force (Signweave)
[b]Recharge:[/b] 10 Minutes for every second channeled. Up to 10 Second channeling time.
[b]What it does:[/b] Sends a power laser beam from his First and Middle finger in which the direction of the finger is going.

[b]Name:[/b] Messenger Bird
[b]Type:[/b] Summoning
[b]Recharge:[/b] 2 Hours
[b]What it does:[/b] Summons a bird that can send messages to faraway places, once dismissed it disappears.


[b]Bio[/b]: Living a very peaceful life in the middle of the forest in Waeif, there wasn’t much to worry about. In there, life was easy, it was a small community so people were friendly to each other, nearly no crime, it was very peaceful. This is where Abstergo grew up. Abstergo came from a long line of Signweavers, the teachings were passed on through each generation and not many people knew that Signweaving was still being taught, let alone existed. One day Abstergo came back home to find both of his parents dead, foam coming out of their mouths and their eyes rolled upwards. Then something hit Abstergo like a speeding train: they are going to come after him. His parents told him about how his ancestors were all killed by a Necromancer who hired mercenaries to kill his family members because his ancestors rejected teaching him signweaving. And so he realized that the Necromancer found them, and the last of their family that exists is him. He also heard of a monster that was destroying forests, he was thinking that if it was possible that the Necromancer was in coalition with the monster? And so he sets out on a journey to find the evil monster that destroys forests and kill it, hopefully to find some clues or even the Necromancer himself.

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StealthyTyranitar Newbie

StealthyTyranitar

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By what ive seen on the opening page, the final group guy is still open.

Name: Lukae. (Luke- I) Verone
Age:16
Gender: Male
Appearance: Lukas looks absolutelly nothing like his parents. He has Blonde hair, blue eyes, and a very thin blonde brow. His hair is long and clumps into spikes, for no apparent reason. he is tall and lean. The only place he has any actual muscles is in his legs, making him a good runner. People claim his nose looks like that of a dog, it being sort of squareish.
Personality: Despite his magics, Lukas is not an evil, down dark and scary type of person. (You know, the creeper.) He is actually an extremely nice and depp down sincere person. He is a bit on the shy side, and has trouble talking to others. For some odd, semi-concious reason, he cannot trust other people. He finds this extremely confusing.
Implement: [Spoiler=Staff]
[img]http://i935.photobucket.com/albums/ad194/EikoEnma/Weapons/DarkElfStaves-H3-1.jpg[/img]
[/spoiler]
Primary Magic Type: Dark Life Force
Secondary Magic Type: Summoning
Tertiary(optional): (If we need it to use the Cantrips, than): Arcane. (Otherwise): None
[spoiler=Spells:]


[spoiler= Dark Lightning]
Name: [b]Dark Lightning. [/b]
Type: Lifeforce(DARK)
Recharge: 5 hours after user gains consiousness.
What it does: [b]Gathers the users life, as much as possible without killing the user, into the focal point of the casters implement. Once the charging is complete, a blast of purplish-black lightning bursts out of the staff, spearing every living thing in sight. After the casting is complete, user passes out. If anything is killed with this, it is animated as an Undead creature that will guard the casters body(Max. 6) until caster regains consiousness. [/b][/spoiler]
[spoiler= Raise Shield]
Name: Raise Shield
Type: Summoning
Recharge: 2 min
What it does: [b]A shield is created to block an attack. Can block medium-small to small attacks[/b][/spoiler]
[spoiler= Summon Dark Wolf]
Name: [b]Summon Dark Wolf. [/b]
Type: Summoning
Recharge: [b]45 min. [/b]
What it does:[b]Summons a wolf made of black shadow, with lines of purple not unlike tatoos. Weighs 60 lbs and is 2 ft tall. Obeys the commands of the one who summoned it. Lasts for 30 min/hours and then fades back to it's own dimension. Also can fire small shadow balls not unlike Lukas's from his mouth, but weaker.[/b]
[b][/spoiler][/b]
[spoiler= Shadow Claws]
Name: Shadow Claws
Type: Lifeforce(DARK).
Recharge:Instant
What it does: Arcs of dark energy from his staff touch Lukas's knuckles, creating a set of claws on each hand.[/spoiler]
[spoiler= Shadow Ball]
Name: Shadow Ball
Type: Lifeforce(DARK)
Recharge: 10 min. Seconds is a nono.
What it does: [b]Particles of darkness collected from the shadows cast by other things collect on the tip of the casters staff, creating a ball. After 3 seconds of this, the caster swings his staff, throwing the ball towards a target. The ball explodes on impact, doing about the pain of a knife cut for every 3 seconds this is charged [/b][/spoiler]
[spoiler= Creature Call]
Name: [b]Summon Weapon[/b]
Type: Summoning
Recharge: 2 hours, or until weapon breaks
What it does: [b]Summons a weapon of the caster's choice to be used by user or others[/b]
[/spoiler]
[/spoiler]Bio: Lukas was born in a normal birth. Ever since he was a child, he, much to his parent's dismay, did not use any elemental magics like both of his parents. Instead, he learned magics known as Dark Magics. They did not tell others about it, for they feared that he would be ridiculed as evil, by people who didn't know him.
Other: In case you didn't notice, he's a Necromancer

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Alice Moonflowyr Newbie

Alice Moonflowyr

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Hrmmmmm.....interesting.

Errors in the spells. Rewriting them all. Replace any X's you see with the number of your choice. [b]Bolded words [/b]are the changes I'm suggesting. Everything else is how it should be worded.
[spoiler=Spells spelled correctly]
[spoiler=Summon Zombie]
Name: Summon Zombie doesnt really fit the description. I reccomend [b]Animate Dead. [/b]
Type: Lifeforce(DARK)
Recharge: 15 min.
What it does: Creates an undead creature out of a corpse within X feet of the caster. Lasts for X hours or until the creature is dead. The creature is under the casters command.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Void Blast]
Name: Rather simple name. For a more......interesting.....name I suggest [b]Blast from the Void.[/b] You dont have to tho.
Type: Lifeforce(DARK)
Recharge: 5 min.
What it does: Your description is rather vauge. Also, I prefer magic to come out of the implement. Try: [b]A small portal opens up on the end of the casters staff, and fires a dark blast of energy at target. [/b][/spoiler]
[spoiler=Wolf of Dark]
Name: Again, simple name. Also, it doesnt....fit. It's a summoning spell. Try: [b]Summon Dark Wolf. [/b]
Type: Summoning
Recharge: Summoning spells need longer recharges than normal time. You are tearing something from another dimension, pulling it into yours, and putting it under your will. [b]45 min. [/b]is a good time for something like this.
What it does: Erm.....little more detail plz. Try: [b]Summons a wolf made of black shadow, with lines of purple not unlike tatoos. Weighs X lbs and is X ft tall. Obeys the commands of the one who summoned it. Lasts for X min/hours and then fades back to it's own dimension. [/b]Also, maybe consider giving the wolf a small power of it's own, like speech, superspeed, etc.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Shadow Claw]
Name: Reading the name, I thought this conjured a large....well, claw....that sliced the opponent. Instead, I find that it turns you into ShadowWolverine. Shadow Claw[b]s[/b] would be better.
Type: Hrm......Lifeforce(DARK).
Recharge: I have a suggestion. Make the recharge [b]Instant. [/b]Make the claws appear/dissapear at-will. They would do less damage, but you would always have a melee attack power.
What it does: Before the actual effect, I need you to tell me what this has to do with your staff. So.....yeah.[/spoiler]
[spoiler=Shadow Ball]
Name: I see no problem with this name.
Type: Lifeforce(DARK)
Recharge: 10 min. Seconds is a nono.
What it does: Let me notch up the description for you. [b]Particles of darkness collected from the shadows cast by other things collect on the tip of the casters staff, creating a ball. After X seconds of this, the caster swings his staff, throwing the ball towards a target. The ball explodes on impact, doing Y damage depending upon how long it charged. [/b][/spoiler]
[spoiler=Nightmare Beam]
Name: Dude. You HAVE to turn on the creativity here. The description suggests something more like: [b]Dark Lightning. [/b]
Type: Lifeforce(DARK)
Recharge: 5 hours after user gains consiousness.
What it does: Urgh. [b]Gathers the users life, as much as possible without killing the user, into the focal point of the casters implement. Once the charging is complete, a blast of purplish-black lightning bursts out of the staff, spearing every living thing in sight. After the casting is complete, user passes out. If anything is killed with this, it is animated as an Undead creature that will guard the casters body(Max. 6) until caster regains consiousness. [/b][/spoiler][/spoiler]
Reasoning for the last one: If a spell is going to take as much energy as possible, the user is obviously going to pass out afterwards. Also, I highly doubt that anyone would design a spell like this, without some way of protecting the users body after use. Therefore, the undead.

Also......I have to say this.
Dark Lifeforce is the magic of Dark things and death. That magic is [b]Evil.[/b] No ifs ands or buts. This character is walking a path that is detested by every. Living. Thing. I just wanted to say that.

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