Native Faith [ Chapter 1 ]

[Lunar Origins]

[spoiler=Chapter 1]The Shaman of our village was old; it was high time someone had replaced him, and I thought I was the one to do it. I had trained for years in the art of Shamanism, mastering the various prayers and always giving blood-tributes to the gods on their respective Holy days. I had become adept at playing the piano, an Old-Time instrument whose origins remained enigmatic to our people, as did most Old-Time objects. The first Shaman, Hyujilkuyae, had brought the instrument to our people and taught only those fit for becoming Shaman how to play it, and this ability was passed down throughout the generations. It became a symbol of our people as well as a symbol of our wealth, and the ability to play the piano heralded great intelligence among the tribes of Ea.

Our current Shaman was old and sickly, as his left leg had gone lame and he was losing sight as well as coordination which rendered him unable to play the piano at our ritual ceremonies. I, as his designated Under-Shaman, would have to sacrifice him at the next burial ceremony. Originally I had been against the idea of sacrificing our Shaman, who was much more of a father to me than my Blood-Father, but I decided in favor of it. Sacrificing him in honor of the Deity of Death Hrunjiku would be the greatest gift I could ever give the Shaman.

"Lakuya? Are you in here?" Called a voice from the window. I peered over at the opened portal from my desk; it seemed that my friend, Rua, had awoken earlier than I thought she would.

"What are you doing up at this time of night, Rua?" I strolled over to the window and stuck my head out, my nose almost touching hers. She was beautiful in the moonlight, and her stained crimson hair shone like a fire in the night. She was training to be head Priestess, the woman who would bless the remains of the sacrificed. That also meant that she would one day be my wife, as it was custom in our village for the Shaman and the Priestess to be wed. I could not dream of having any woman other than her.

"I only came to see you, my sweet Lakuya, and wish you luck in tomorrow's burial." She faltered upon mentioning burial; the Shaman was also dear to her. She wouldn't be able to say any last words to him, either; the Priestess was unable to see the sacrificed until they were fully deceased. She leaned in and gave me a quick, sweet kiss, then pulled away blushing. "I'm sure that he is grateful that you will be performing the sacrifice. Hrunjiku would be pleased with a soul such as his to serve in his burial guard."

"Hrunjiku will be, I can feel it." I replied, giving out a long sigh. "I just wish that we could say some final words to the Shaman. Excellio is the only one who'll be able to speak to him until the ceremony, and you know how he is..."

Rua giggled as she thought of Excellio. "Yes, I'm sure he is more than happy to be with the Shaman in his final hours!" Excellio hadn't ever been on the best terms with the Shaman; they constantly fought and bickered over the true, enigmatic history of our great desert world. They were the two oldest men in the village, with Excellio only being a mere 5 years his junior.

Excellio prepared the sacrifices for ritual beforehand, the Shaman would carry out the sacrifice, and the Priestess would bless the body afterwards. This cycle would assure the sacrifices a place in the God's Tower, a behemoth that loomed over our world in the great Sky. It was thought that when one died, their bodies would be judged and sent to the Abyss if they were found to be guilty of Impurity, and those found Pure would live in Paradise, found at the base of God's Tower. Occasionally a soul might fall from the God's Tower and come down to Ea as an Avatar, a great wolf-like beast with horrible power. An Avatar would have to kill at least 50 Impure beings before being able to return to the Tower.

I heard footsteps coming from the stone hall leading to the door of my room, and I quickly alerted Rua.

"I guess I would have to leave then, my love." She gave me another quick kiss and backed away from the window. "Do not forget the piece you must play tomorrow; the gods would be angry if you did so." She waved and then disappeared into the night. I quickly shuffled back towards my work desk, on which sheets upon sheets of music were spread. The piece I must have memorized for tomorrow was a long one, and it was quite melancholic sounding. Its title was "The Moonlight Sonata", and was one of the only remaining Old Writings.

"Lakuya, you had better be memorizing that entire piece!" My mother peered into my room, eyes hovering over me as I nonchalantly flipped a page of the old volume. "Do not be so careless with that!" She yelled, hobbling towards me. She was short, stout, and tough, but had not always been this way. She delivered a harsh smack across my face. "I also heard you talking with the Priestess-in-training. You know that fraternization is forbidden before the ceremony!" She crossed her arms and waited for a response.

"I..." I could not come up with a valid excuse.

"Just learn that song!" And with that she stormed out, angrier than ever.
–
I awoke to a smack on the head and a stern mother standing over my body, which was still sitting at the desk. It seemed I had fallen asleep some time last night without my own notice; My head was resting on the sheet music and a small puddle of drool had formed on it, which created a stain that blurred a few of the notes.

“You fool!” My mother screamed, her tone livid. “Have you no respect for this Old Music?” I raised my head and she quickly snatched the Moonlight Sonata from under my head, examining it with utmost care.

“You've ruined it!” She delivered another harsh smack across my face, this time leaving a mark where her hand had hit. “Do you have anything to say about this... this...” My mother paused for a moment, no doubt trying to think of a word to say. She wasn't the brightest woman in Ea. “...this outrage!”

“Don't worry, mother! I have the entire thing committed to memory, there will be no problems at the ceremony.” I lied about remembering the entirety of the song- I had gotten through a at least half of it, and most of the sheet music was still readable. I would certainly be fine. “There is no need to fret.”

She sighed and placed the music back down on the desk. “You have no idea how angry this makes me, Lakuya.” Her tone had noticeably calmed down, but she was still hot. “Get prepared for the ceremony. It starts in three hours.”
–
I spent that three hours looking over what was left of the sheet music, not bothering to change clothing. When the time finally came around that I was needed for the ceremony, Rua would come and lead me to the alter. All of my preparation, everything I've learned, everything the Shaman taught me... All of that would culminate at this ceremony, at this point in time. I would show all of Ea that I, Lakuya, am the only person fit to be the one true Shaman![/spoiler]

Yes, I'm giving story writing another try.

[Lunar Origins]

Reserved for Other Information
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[Thar]

Not much of a reader, but this is half decent. Nice work.

I'm getting back to story-telling myself. However, I'm surprised there weren't any responses to this for 8 whole days. That's just silly.

[bury the year]

Hmm. I think the reason nobody's really touched this yet is because of the combination of a whole new world and badly-paced exposition combined with first-person perspective. All we know is that Shamans are important, and they have something to do with Old ___ (fill in the blank). There's also a mention of burials or something like that, but I don't get it at all. There's a lot of high fantasy tropes here that are blended together and don't mesh well, and that's only compounded by the first-person nature of it all assuming we know what's going on.