Gabriel Maeso Posted October 22, 2011 Report Share Posted October 22, 2011 Hello everyone, I'm Gabriel Maeso, also known as Gabe and I write most of my stories under the name of Daos Maskevein Dorian. well every week I'm going to post here a story I write, feel free to give ideas, comments, anything. If you want to help to write one feel free to PM me, I will take only one co-writer each week, I will keep a sing showing if I am avaible for it or not. Well with everything said only one think is left, read the stories and enjoy! [spoiler='October 22th - Saturday - 21:50'] [size=6]- The Mask Carrier -[/size] [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaa[/color]A man walks up into his room, it was a small room with a relativevly large window for it's size but the place didn't seems to get much sunlight, a one person futon is on the floor, it is all messed up like if someone was sleeping on it and had just got up, there was a nightstand right next to it. Over it there was a glass of water and a wrist watch, the man is finishing drying his long black hair with a white towel, he is only dressed in a pair of jeens, his eyes are deep black and his skin is surprisely very lively coloured for the looks of that room, he gave a few steps till he got near the window, the small opaque light from it revealed the man's clearly worked out musculature. He looked trough the window and claimed "Another cloudy day...this rain season just don't stop...". The man turned around and trew the towel into the bathroom's sink, he opened the drawer and grabed a white shirt from it, as he putted the shirt he looked to a white handmade styled skull mask that was inside the drawer, as he looked directly at it he claimed "This thing...". He picked up a school bag that was next to the drawer and checked it's contents "Good is everything in here." he then said, he stared at the mask for a little longer. Sudently he got it and put in inside his bag and closed it quickly as he claimed "Tsc... I can't belive I'm taking this out again." shortly after that he got his wrist watch and placed it on his left wrist and got his bag on his hand, he went to the room next to his bedroom, ir was a small living room, with a small coffe table and a couch, he went to the door and put on his shoes that were at the door's side. He opened the door and went out, closed and locked his house. [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaa[/color]He got inside the elevator to go down the building, he pressed the buttom and the door closed, he waited as it went down till it stoped at the 13th floor, the doors opened and a beautifull girl, probably the same age as him in a school uniform went in, the doors closed again and the elevator resumed on it's way down, around the 7th floor the elevator stoped and the lights went off. The girl shrieked in fear, the man pressed a buttom next to him that lighten up the emergency lamps, he looked around the place then said "We will be stucked here for a while..." The girl looked at him even more scared and said "Y-You better not try anything... please.". He went to the door and knocked it and then said "Don't worry, I'm not that kind of guy... we are stucked right betewen 2 floors, 8th and 7th I would say." he then turned to her and asked "Do you got a cellphone?" she put her hand inside her purse and took of a cellphone from inside it saying "Of course I do, who doesn't have one anyway?", he turned back to the door and tryed to open while saying "I don't, I think that they are just a waste of money and time." she looked at his confused and asked "So how you keep contact with your friends?". He tryed to open the door once again and got a small bit of it open and said "Don't have any... whenever I tryed they eventualy ran away, so I stop trying." she got surprised with the man's awnser and asked again "But you don't have anyone? Not even a family?" he reached for his bag and said "My family is all dead, I live here by myself since I was 9." she aproched him and said "That is so sad... I'm sorry for asking..." he opened his bag and got something from inside it and said "Don't worry, I don't care for it anymore..." as he finished saying that the elevator shaked hardly. [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaa[/color]The elevator went down to half of the door of the 7th floor, the girl couldn't get balance so she almost fell into the ground but the man hold hold her before that, she blushed and he slighty blushed but he didn't noticed it at all, he looked at her and said "Watch out... you could had goten hurt." most of the lights had went down again but they still got some light, she thanked him and sat on the ground so she didn't fall again, he asked her phone borowed and used it's light to the that they had almost passed the 7th floor door, he then finished opening the elevator's door and used what he got on his bag to lock it open, he then looked at her and said "This thing won't hold for much longer, if you climb on my shoulders you might get to that door easily." she looked at him and asked "But what about you?". He looked at her and said "I will find my way, but you better get off this quickly." she looked at her side and noticed that a white mask had falled from his bag she asked "What a amazing mask. Did you made it?" he opened the 7th floor door and turned to her "Ah? That thing, you can have it if you want." she looked at him and stated "I would love to!" he then said "So it is yours. now quick, this thing won't hold for much longer, you got to get out." he picked her up and got her near the door so she could escape she got out easily with her slim body, she turned to him and said "How you will get out of there?". He looked at her and said "I told you I will find my way, now go you will get late to school like that." she smiled and asked "Hey, what is your name?" the Elevator started to shake again and he shouted at her "Balhazar! Now go don't waste more time here with me." he looked at her with a smile on his face as the elevator shaked, she listened to his name and smiled when saw his smile, she heard a noise and looked up, she saw the elevator's cables they were riped apart, the elevator fell and behind that noise of metal scratching metal it was posible to hear her voice shouting for his name. [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaa[/color]Later that same day she was at school, she was shocked and her friends were confused with what she was holding tight, a white mask, she got out of her class when it finished and went to her locker to get the next class books, in the hallway back she saw a figure walking by she then shouted "Balthazar?" most of the students in that hallway stoped walking and looked around confused, the figure that she has saw stoped and looked behind with it's head to see the girl holding the books and the white mask. The girl's eye filled with tears and she ran on his direction and let everything else falls except for the white mask. [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaa[/color]As she got close enough to him to hug him he disapeared in thin air, she fell down, her friends went to her and one of them asked "Who is Balthazar?" she looked at her friend and said confused and sad "But he was right here...Balthazar was right here..." her friend looked at her serious and asked "Alex, who is this Balthazar?" , Alex looked at her and said "A guy, quiet, charming, tallish, strong, long black hair...". One of her friends looked at her and said "I'm sorry but there is no one at school with that name or look alike.". Another friend looked at them and said "Hey there wasn't a boy named Balthazar that was killed with his family studing here some years ago?" the other friend then replied "Oh yeah... now I remember him, we were all just 9 back then... poor thing...he was tortured in a small apartment on an old building near here." hearing that, Alex got in shock remembering about what had happened and what Balthazar had told her earlyer she then lost counciousness and fell on the floor, she dind't stoped holding the mask for a second. [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaa[/color]She woke up in the next morning at her house, it was all the same thing as the other day, except for the sky that was clear and blue, she got ready to school and took the mask with her again, she hoped that she would find Balthazar that day on the elevator again, but it was broken so she couldn't use it. she got to school and sat on her desk, as the class started the teacher got inside the room and looked over to the class and said "Students! Today we have a new classmate joining you here. Come on in.". As he said that a tallish, strong man with long black hair entered the room, he then looked over to the class and said with a weird tone on his voice "Good morning, my name is..." sudently Alex got up and said happily "Balthazar?!". The man looked at her and said "I see that you got to class in time today." he finished up with a smile towards her, Her eyes filled with tears and she slight giggled and blushed hardly. -Daos M. D.- [/spoiler] [spoiler='October 29th - Saturday - 00:50'] [size=6] - The Wanderer - [/size] [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color]A man steped into a room filled with people, there were dancers and bards, inocent kids and notorious bandit's gang leaders siting at tables having fun and minding theyr own buisness, the man walked to the balcony, he weared a full battle iron armor made only for him, it was red with purple details, he had a long red hair falling to his back, he carried a big cloth package, with a wooden staff sticking out from it, on his waist he had a gun placed on the sheet for it on his belt, he had a slighty pale skin and red as blood eyes, he had purple tatoos aorund his eyes, under his armor he weared a skiny battle mail. [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color]He got to the balcony and extended to the bartender some pieces of gold and said "A Vlad's Eye, please..." The bartender looked at the gold and bowed saying "in an istant sir.". Some of the bandit's started to whisper to each other, the bartender turned his back to the man and mixed some stuff in a glass and then he turned around and placed it in front of the man and took the gold to him, the man thanked the bartender with a head gesture and got the glass on his hand, sudently a shot was heard and everyone stoped moving, the armored man was with his hand in a diferent possition, he looked like had just grabbed a fly in the air right next to his drink, he then open his hand and a bullet fell on the balcony like a coin. He drank the drink in one sip and turned around with the bullet on his hand, there were lots of people looking at him and whispering, he then walked to the door, as he passed trough one of the bandit's table, the one which the shot came from, he trew the bullet on the leader's forehead and said without moving his head "You dropped it.". [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color]The man then left the room and gave a few steps away from the bar. Sudently he grabed his gun turned around and shooted at the open door, a bandit's body fell on his feet with his bullet on it's forehead, he was followed by several shots aiming the man, he jumped back and grabed the wooden hilt on his back and with a movement to block the bullets he unwraped the cloth from package and revealed a big golden sword with red details on it, the bullets not even scratched the sword, he then leaned the sword on his shoulder and said to the bandit's inside "If you wanta piece of me you better stop hiding." [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color]There was no response coming form the inside, the man smirked and said "The fact that there are kids and inocents in there won stop me form grinding this place to dust!" there was still no response, the armored man then grined and said "Okay then...." he then with his both hands he grabbed the wodden hilt of the sword and with one single blow he destroyed the collums on the bar's front and made a big hole in the front wall, he could se the faces of those inside, he then said "That was just a warning!... will you get out or not?" one of the bandits came out shaking and slowly, the armored man quickly got his gun in hand and shoot the man on his neck, exploding it, the body fell and the head was sent flying. [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color]The bandit's started whispering to each other "Who is he?" "It's the devil! it must be!", the bandits continued to shake and fear, suddently the leader punched the table and said "Com'on! he is just one! we are many! He can't take all of us out!" one of the man then shouted "YEAH! LET'S DO IT!". [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color]Those man ran ouside to try to fight the man in armor they got out screaming and wiht they weapons in hands, the armored man smirked and shoot at the bandits as he rushed trough them, each shot was a new kill, he killed all fo the bandits that had ran to him, but that cost him his bullets, "So...have you ran out of AMMO yet?" the armored man heard from inside as a big muscular man got out. the Armored man smirked adn said "For now...So...you have finaly got out..." the big muscular man looked at the armored man and said "You is not from around here right stranger? So... who are you?" the armored man just said "Peopel call me The Wanderer of the End, and you are the one tho they call Toft, am I right?" the muscualr man said "Indeed you are..." Toft then pointed a gun to the Wanderer's face and said "...and I won't let you alive." The Wanderer smirken and crushed Toft's gun with one hand "you better do better than that!" he then pointed his gun to the man's face, the blood form the bandits around started to be dragged inside the gun in a vortex on the point of it. The Wnaderer then said "The Vampire Gun, Murelai." he then pushed the gun's trigger and shot the man exploding his head off, the men fell and Murelai absorved all the blood around. [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color]The wanderer then laughed and said "I was in the need of some ammunition after all...." he put his gun back on it's sheet and whistled, a horse then came running, it is a beautiful dark brown horse, the wanderer mounted it and placed his sword on a sheet tha tthe horse had on it's side, he then turned to the people on the bar and grinned and commanded the horse to go, the horse got on it's back legs then he rushed foward, The Wanderer passed thrugh the city gates with a creepling and very loud laugh that faded away as he got away form the place, to not be seen there again shortly.- Daos M.D.- [color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color][color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color][color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color][color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color][color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color][color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color][color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color][color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color]- Daos M.D.-[color=#FFFFFF]aaa[/color][color=#FFFFFF]aaaaaa[/color] [/spoiler] [b][size=4]Current Co-Writing Status:[/size][/b] [color=#00FF00]-Free-[/color] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Techi☺ Posted October 22, 2011 Report Share Posted October 22, 2011 I don't see my name anywhere for Topic name idea credit And interesting story title... I'll read it soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrystalCyae Posted October 22, 2011 Report Share Posted October 22, 2011 I have barely skim read this, but I have one, crucial comment. NO. RUN. ON. SENTENCES. That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriel Maeso Posted October 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 [quote name='Lunar Eclipse' timestamp='1319327962' post='5594573'] I have barely skim read this, but I have one, crucial comment. NO. RUN. ON. SENTENCES. That is all. [/quote] That and the grammar is now fixed. If I forgot something just tell me. @TEchi, look at the Tags. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriel Maeso Posted October 29, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 BUMP, new story added. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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