Shadow Magic

[Guest Rupert Giles]

This story takes place in the Valley of Wonders, a place full of magic and myth. It is ruled by the Circle of Evermore, a council of ten wizards (the term is unisex in this), and is led by one wizard. There are 15 known races in the Valley, and they coexist with each other....mostly.

[spoiler=The Underground]

There are a network of tunnels and caverns under the Valley. Residing here are the Orcs, the dwarves, and the Goblins.Treasure, powernodes and massive architechture can be found here.

 

 

[spoiler=The Races]

[spoiler=Neutral]

Humans: do i REALLY need to describe them?

Frostlings: Small creatures that live in the icy north, they are masters at enduring the cold. They have tamed Icedrakes, Yetis, and Doom Wolves, and use them as comrades, servants, and in the Icedrakes case, mounts.

Tigrans: Half tiger half human, Tigrans sprung from a magic spell gone wrong. At first, they were enslaved by Humans and Nomads, but eventually Perses rose to power and freed them. They have made friends with other creatures of the desert, including the Beholder, the Sphinx, and the normal everyday Tiger.

Nomads: Desert people, the Nomads wander around the desert, as at home there as the Frostlings are in the north. Their leader, Ke-Nan, is a wizard of great reputation. Sahira, Ke-Nan's sister, is very well known for taking Halflings slaves and treating them mercilessly. Ke-Nan however, abhores slavery.

Draconians: Fearsome warriors, the Draconians come from dragons mating with humans. Ambir and Tempest are two of their greatest leaders. Unlike the other races, draconians hatch from eggs. They have made friends with the Hydra and other Dragons, mostly red ones.

 

 

[spoiler=Prolouge: The Circle of Evermore]

“Let the circle come to order!” shouted Inioch. The Circle of Evermore was seated around a large table, in a room of white stone that had a domed ceiling, and marbled floors.

 

“This meeting is now in session,” said Gabriel, the head of the Circle. Around the table sat 10 beings of different origin.

 

At the head sat Gabriel, the Archon ruler, and has ruled in the Valley of Wonders for a long time. He balanced a sapphire in midair with magic, as he sat. He wore white robes with multicolored gems on them. He had white hair with a long beard.

 

On his right sits Inioch, the elven ruler, who has ruled as long as Gabriel. He looks more like a frostling than an elf, with pale skin and a blue cloak and white crown. His throne is made of marble.

 

To his left, sits Marinus, the Halfling ruler of the waterways. He is rather short, wearing a cavalier hat, a green cloak, and a white and yellow shirt.

 

Next to Marinus, sat Meandor, brother of Queen Julia, and ruler of the Dark Elves. His hair was gray, though he was young, and he wore dark purple leather armor. He also wears a black cloak and boots.

 

Next to Inioch was Julia, Iniochs queen. She has long blonde hair, and wears green leaf-patterned leather armor. She also has a wooden staff with a green orb on top.

 

Next to her, was Ambir, brood mother of the Draconians. Her scales are orange, with a flare of spikes going in the same direction on the back of her head. She wears white robes. Her claws are usually dyed red.

 

Then came Perses, ruler of the Tigrans, a tall lion-like figure. Literally. Ke-Nan, the nomad ruler, who was a tall human with tanned skin from walking in the desert day after day. He wears a red hood and cloak, with brown leggings and boots. Yaru, the syron king, who was an old hunched figure, with pure white skin and pointed ears. He was also bald. He wore a black robe. Then Fangir, the dwarf ruler. He had long brown hair, and wore a monacle. He had blue and brown clothes, and black boots.

 

“Yes, let’s get started,” muttered Fangir under his breath.

 

“The Emperor Phobius is rising, and intends to abolish magic. Even now he spreads rumors of magic being unholy, and evil. He and his general, Vorsar, intend to wipe out the Circle. We cannot let it happen.” Gabriel said calmly.

 

“No.” growled Meandor. “We must prepare for war.”

 

" NO! No war Meandor!" shouted Julia. "We need to find a peacful solution. War is never the awnser"

 

"I hate to say this....but we have more than just Phobius to worry about," Yaru said quietly.

 

"What do you mean Yaru?" Gabriel said.

 

"I mean the Shadow Demons," Yaru said slightly louder than before. "They are getting desperate to get their hands on a Shadow Gate."

 

"Forgive me if I dont know what a Shadow Gate is," Fangir said.

 

"A gateway between my homeland and the surface. It's how I got here," Yaru replied.

 

"How soon will they break through Yaru?" Gabriel asked.

 

"About two years. We are barely holding the capitol though. Most of our energy has gone into guarding the Gates."

 

"Damn. So if we go after Phobius, if we take too long they will break through. But if we go after the demons, Phobius will kill us."

 

"Go after Phobius. I can hold off the Demons."

 

"Yaru...forgive me if I offend you....but your archers are not that skilled correct?" Inioch asked.

 

"That is true. And no, you do not offend me."

 

"Then I will give you a squad of elven archers. No, I'll do you one better. Three squads of Sharpshooters."

 

"Thank you! That gives us a little longer to hold them off."

 

"So we go after Phobius?" Gabriel asked.

 

"YES!' Shouted everyone. Julia remained silent though.

 

"Then prepare yourselves and your kingdoms for war!"

 

[spoiler=Gabriel]

Name: Gabriel

Age: Old. Very.

Race: Archon

Gender: Male

Appearance: gotta find a pic

Story: Ruler of the Circle of Evermore, Gabriel has reigned in the Valley of Wonders for as long as Inioch. Unlike Inioch, Gabriel was never overthrown, and his presence is somewhat unbalancing, now that his Elven counterpart is long dead and a new age dawns. Gabriel realizes that to cast the world to order, he must give up the Wizards Throne and choose a worthy successor. He finds him in the Human named Merlin, but the wizards under his jurisdiction have different plans.

 

 

[spoiler=Intro Video and basically the first chapter][media='']

[/media]

 

[spoiler=Chap Two]http://forum.yugiohcardmaker.net/topic/265289-shadow-magic/page__view__findpost__p__5575821

 

Be aware, Chapter one is going to take place further in time than the prolouge. Inioch will be overthrown, as it says in Gabriels profile.

Well, here goes another try. I will post stuff like maps and profiles after the second chapter or so.

[Raine]

You have no intro, you turned 3rd person omnipotent into a textbook, generic, and you throw around 18 thousand names in a paragraph, no description, uber paced, no details, its like reading a court transcript, and its ONE paragraph for an intro that should hook attention and establish a want to read.

 

I see very little positive here, sorry. Its so... like running over a kitten with bull dozer that can't move.

[Guest Rupert Giles]

Well, first of all, Its supposed to be slightly confusing. And second of all, the profiles will explain it a little better. And wat is a 3rd person omnipotent?

 

Gabriels profile coming.

[Raine]

I hope you know what 3rd Person perspective is, omnipotent means the perspective knows EVERYTHING! You ham fisted the text so much, I found it mind-killing. Describe characters slowly through action rather than "HI! This person is _______ and he/she is _______" Dialogue, actions, 3rd party references, are all viable.

 

Gabriels profile coming.

 

Profile? PROFILE!? WHY DO YOU NEED A PROFILE! *bashes head in wall*

[Guest Rupert Giles]

okayyyy. is that supposed to be a joke or are you serious?

[Bahamut - Envoy of the End]

First of all...

 

LENGTH

All chapters must be at least 2 pages in MS Word with single spacing, standard margins, and size 11 Arial font. This applies to all fics, regardless of being serial or one-off. There are a few exceptions to this rule, though:

Pro/Epilogues: Considering that these serve as teasers or to tie loose threads up, they are not required to be at this standard.

Drabbles: A drabble is unofficially defined as “a quick piece of writing, often from a prompt, that is used to develop a specific scenario or character.” They are always one-shots.

Poetry: ...justification not needed.

 

You may just get away with it as you billed it as prologue, but...

 

It's just a list of random names, not all necessarily human but none of them are described physically in any way.

 

I've been in a few meetings, and Iwish they all were resolved that quickly. "Here's the problem." "War!" "Alright done meeting over..." with most of the listed names not actually doing anything at all, not even silently nodded.

 

It's just... really... there's nothing good about it. There's nothing at all imaginative, interesting, or in any way an incentive to read the story proper, which is what a prologue is effectively for.

[Raine]

okayyyy. is that supposed to be a joke or are you serious?

 

Cerial

 

First of all...

 

 

 

You may just get away with it as you billed it as prologue, but...

 

It's just a list of random names, not all necessarily human but none of them are described physically in any way.

 

I've been in a few meetings, and Iwish they all were resolved that quickly. "Here's the problem." "War!" "Alright done meeting over..." with most of the listed names not actually doing anything at all, not even silently nodded.

 

It's just... really... there's nothing good about it. There's nothing at all imaginative, interesting, or in any way an incentive to read the story proper, which is what a prologue is effectively for.

 

^This. I'm just not to good at saying it myself.

[Guest Rupert Giles]

Meh. All I did was throw it together to show how the war started and blah blah blah.

[Umbra]

Meh. All I did was throw it together to show how the war started and blah blah blah.

 

Yeah, that's pretty much all you did. To me, it's not nearly enough.

[Chaotic Angel]

Holy crap... All this, piled up into one paragraph... The whole Fan Fic is just untidy. 'Nuff said.

[Guest Rupert Giles]

Ok, changed the prolouge. Added more detail, to......everything. And could someone please tell me how to get fricking spacing?!

[Umbra]

Well, the Enter button is your friend in this case.

 

It should give you all the spacing you need.

[Guest Rupert Giles]

Ummm....I think I tried that already but lets see...

 

What do you think of the story now?

 

Hey thanks! It worked!

[Guest Rupert Giles]

[spoiler=An Exerpt from Julias Diary]This is years and years after the War of the Valley of Wonders.

As wizards, we carlessly drew upon the elements of creation for our own desires. Our wars caused a great cataclysm. That devastated us. The remaining wizards became despised, and hunted, blamed for the darkness that crept across the land. Our mighty towers fell, one, by one, as the Emporer Phobius rose to power under Banner of the Abolition of Magic. The drums of war can be heard again, as the shadow grows ever larger.

 

This is just a teaser.

[Guest Rupert Giles]

[spoiler=Second-to-last entry in Gabriels Journal]6 years after that fated meeting that decided war.....Phobius has won. Two great wizards were overthrown. Inioch, my lifelong friend, and Yaru. Wise old Yaru. The remaining wizards have gone into hiding, myself included. Julia, Ke-Nan, and Meandor were together, Fangir retreated to the mountains, Marinus to his waterways, Ambir and Perses went to the desert, and I retreated to my old hut in the Archon lands. I sent a message to them all, and they are meeting with me soon.

 

[spoiler=Second-to-last entry in Gabriels Journal(part 2)]The meeting went well, though as of this moment I am no longer Leader of the Circle of Evermore. I found a sucessor in the human Merlin, who understands magic, and pitys us. Marinus disproved, although he disproves everything. They all agreed and went back to as they were. O'Neron has replaced Yaru as leader of the Syron race. Julia, Meandor, and Ke-Nan have gone into hiding together, as they were the most out spoken against Phobius. May peace be brought on this valley.

Two more little teasers.

[Guest Rupert Giles]

testing

[bury the year]

Please post actual chapters, or at least compile things into a single document that meets length rules. Since I'm feeling charitable I won't lock this, but you'd best take everyone's advice - they know what they're doing.

[Guest Rupert Giles]

Yup, posting a real chapter soon.

 

[spoiler=Chapter Two]

As wizards, we carelessly drew on the elements of creation for our own desires. Our wars caused a great cataclysm. That devastated us. The remaining wizards became despised and hunted, blamed for the darkness that crept across the land. Our mighty towers fell, one, by one, as the Emperor Phobius rose to power under Banner of the Abolition of Magic. The drums of war can be heard again, as the shadow grows ever larger.

About two months after the Intro Vid…..

Merlin sent a message to Ke-Nan, Meandor and Julia separately. Julia has found a new wizard, one that seems to be destined to take Marinus’s spot. His name is Symon, and he is a Halfling. He stands at the height of a human teenager, and has red hair, and wears blue clothes.

[spoiler=Ke-Nan's Message]

Ke-Nan. It’s Merlin. Sadly, while you journeyed to the Circle of Evermore, your father died. Sahira, your sister and your father shaman, has grown accustomed to your royal tent, and refuses to leave it. She plots your demise, as she will do anything to keep her place among the nomads. Seduced by the Shadow Demons, she promises to bring your people to an age of power, unmatched even by your ancestors of the ancient Azrac Empire. Sahira believes the Demons will spare her people as they consume the world. With their aid, she has enslaved many of the surrounding peoples. Sadly, these races hatred of the nomads is greater than ever, and they don’t care that you are not to blame for their losses.

 

[spoiler=Julia's Message]

Lady Julia, your heart strengthens me to endure the torture of this void. Yes, I am in great pain, but I ask you not to worry about me. Instead, focus on the troubles facing all people. I sense the Shadow Demons gain great strength from chaos. That fool Phobius who rose so quickly to popularity, has plunged us all into battle. He must not be allowed more power. Now it appears that Vorsar has secretly gathered a force to conquer the elves of Norwood. He spins lies about the quiet friends of the forest, insisting that they must be in league with the demons, or they would not hide so. You must not allow his mobs to desecrate these ancient treasures.

 

[spoiler=Meandor's Message]

Greetings Meandor. Once you guided me through a realm of death, when my own master Gabriel was betrayed by his wizards and cast into the void. Now I must guide you through another hell. With Teryns eyes, I can see that you have gathered a force of outcasts to fight for you. Teryn will lead you to a stronger power. A race known as the Syron. Convince the people to fight the Shadow Demons, as the rest of their people are rapidly being devoured, fed to the demon hives. They know only slavery, but I need the Syron to rebel. Go. Awaken their killing instincts.

 

 

 

 

As you can probably tell, Julia, Meandor, Ke-Nan, and later, O'Neron, are the main charachters.

[bury the year]

...okay, charity over. I expected you to listen to the other guys and actually follow the rules, but guess not. LOCKED.