Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Okay, yeah, where to begin... I'm Dante. I'm a Demon Hunter. I like to write stories. I discontinued my last story due to the lack of reviews and readers, but I think with this that I will be able to get more people [s]to convert to my cause [/s]to read my story. The plot is definitely more refined than the last story, so I hope everyone enjoys. Here is the plot: [spoiler='The Plot']Yu-Gi-Oh! Underground Tyranny is about a corrupt organization has captured the best duelists from around the entire world (non-canon) and forced them to Duel in Championship style arena-combat, with virtually no chance of escape. One Duelist however rises above all the slandering of the television shows, the hype of the crowds, and the difficulties surmounting the arena-style combat. What is different from this fan-fic and other Yugioh Fan-fics are the Duels. Instead of one character having one specific Deck, before each round, the players are given the choice of deck that they will use in the match, and this will vary from match to match. I admit that I have fallen into the Trap that my main characters for my current fan-fic show no Deck Progression and like their Decks almost as much as they love Dueling, but I feel with this, I am breaking that barrier and showing that a real Duelist knows how to adapt and maintain their strategy, even when they have no idea what kind of Deck they are using or what they are going up against. Eventually, the main character rises up through the ranks and starts dueling more and more people that he cares about. Secretly inside, he wants to escape with a female sidekick that he falls in love with (cliche, I know), but he will have to take down the man behind the scenes of every shot. It might be shorter than most fan-fics, but it will have a lot of plot development and a lot of Dueling, two key things behind every fan-fic on here.[/spoiler] And I welcome you all to this presentation of Yu-Gi-Oh! Underground Tyranny. [spoiler='Prologue'] [size=5][font=times new roman,times,serif]YU-GI-OH! Underground Tyranny[/font][/size] [size=5][b][font=times new roman,times,serif]Prologue[/font][/b][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]The screaming of the fans…the joy of seeing people fall under his command…this is the thing that he truly loved. Ever since years ago when the show began, he has had an obsession with it, trying to rake in all of the money and ratings that he could ever hope to attain. However, as of late, the show has lost ratings. People stopped watching and coming to the grand spectacle. People stopped dialing in to see their favorite contestants battle it out in the greatest arena challenge ever known to man. People stopped commenting on their daily blogs about the most adrenaline-packed, action-pumped, underground combat sport that had taken control people’s lives, and have completely moved on to something different.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]And was the mastermind behind the greatest television series of all time going to stand for this? Not one bit.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]A large, bulk man sat in front of a wide-screen television, watching the last episode that ever aired of his beloved television show. Two young duelists, both male, had lined up to take each other on in the arena. Both of them were strapped with an implant device on their hip. Maybe that was the reason…no, he could not think about that right now. The large man sat watching the duel unfold right before his eyes.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“And now, by Dark Tuning the Level ten “Dark Tuner Chaos Bloom” with the Level three “[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Marauding_Captain"]Marauding Captain[/url]”, I can call forth the ultimate monster!”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif][spoiler='Dark Tuner Chaos Bloom'][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Fiend/Dark Tuner/Effect[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Level 10[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]DARK[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]1000 ATK/1000 DEF[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]By Banishing two monsters from your field and paying 1000 Life Points, you can Special Summon this card from your Graveyard. This card can only be used to Synchro Summon a Dark Synchro Monster by subtracting this cards level from one other monster you control; the result must match the selected Dark Synchro Monster.[/spoiler][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]The large man slapped his forehead with his hand. “I can’t believe that they would still use Synchros and Dark Synchros, especially in this period and age,” said the rather gruff man. He then sat up from his slouched position. “Maybe that’s it. People need something more exciting than just pathetic Synchros and Dark Synchros. Maybe there is something else out there that can excite the crowd once more!” He then turned around in his chair and grabbed his pen, fervently writing down anything and everything that came to his mind. He would re-build the ultimate arena, and then he would gather all of the greatest Duelists from around the world, and force them to compete.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Originally, it was his idea to kidnap duelists off the streets and force them to compete in high-adrenaline, action-packed dueling in order to see which one of them could be crowned the season’s best duelist. But people did not like that prospect. They all thought it was a fluke, and so, they stopped watching, commenting, and dialing in, and eventually the ratings got so low and the cash had dwindled down so much that they had to cancel. The audience felt that the matches were rigged, which was not his intention. Maybe now, he should only focus on the best of the best, and leave the rest to die in the hellhole of today’s society. The large bulk man, still scratching down ideas on his paper, also turned around occasionally to see the outcome of the last duel ever recorded.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“And now, “Dark Fairy Dragon” can unleash a direct attack on your Life Points! I win this match.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif][spoiler='Dark Fairy Dragon'][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Level -7[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Dragon/Dark Synchro/Effect[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]DARK[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]2500 ATK/3000 DEF[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]This card can only be Synchro Summoning by using a Dark Synchro Material Monster. Once per turn, you can destroy 1 Field Spell on the field. Inflict 1000 points of damage to your opponent and add 1 Field Spell from your Deck to your hand. You may also Special Summon 1 Level 5 or lower DARK monster from your Graveyard once per turn. If you use this effect, this card loses 1000 ATK and DEF (permanently). [/spoiler][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]The large man did not look up from his papers. “Yes you did,” mumbled the man, “yes you did. But that wasn’t good enough.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]His thoughts were disturbed when someone came through the door, which magnetically opened itself up from both sides. The person was wearing an orange suit and had a helmet on his head, with a visor masking his eyes. He walked slowly towards the large bulk man.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Hard at work, are you,” said the man in the orange suit. “That’s a first.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Oh, don’t give me that crap, Snape,” said the large bulk man. The man in the orange suit retaliated. He was not used to this sort of behavior from his boss. “I need to make this season the most electrifying, the most grueling, and the most thrilling season ever to hit television sets across the entire world. Moreover, what have you to contribute yet? Nothing!”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Humph. The only reason people don’t watch any more is because you’ve run out of ideas,” Snape replied. The large bulk man found truth in his words. He simply sighed and returned writing on his papers. “I’ve told you a hundred times before: if you want to be the most grueling competition ever, don’t just kidnap random duelists from off of the streets. Make an attempt.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Hah,” the gruff man replied. “That’s easier said than done. Thirty years ago, we would have been worshipping Yuma Tsukara. Whatever happened to that prospect? I’ll tell you what happened: Duelists have no respect anymore.” The large man spun around in his chair and turned the television off, prompting him to spin right around again. “I’ll tell you what I’m going to be doing next, Snape, and it’ll be the last thing you ever expect.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Yea? How so?”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]The large man snickered. “Let’s just say I’ve thought of some…improvements…while you were off doing business.” The large man fiddled with his hands, as though there were something inside of them, but in reality, there was nothing. “I’ll have the ultimate opening act…the greatest preview in history…I’ll have complete carnage return to the arena, and then…people will star to tune in again. The audience will open their votes as to who the greatest Duelist will be, as to who will win tomorrow’s match, as to…”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Whatever. Crazy lunatic,” interrupted Snape, as he exited out of the room. “Enjoy your little brain-storming…Adalberto.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]As the door closed, the gruff man continued looking at his paper, grinning maniacally. “Humph. What they do not realize is that they will be pawns in my game, too. The Four Prime. They made their debut last season, and this season…they shall return. Snape, Warhead, Angelica, and Chip…people will come from all over to see the most exciting Duels of the Century. People will come everywhere! And people will rejoice, as the game of Duel Monsters has not yet ceased to exist!”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Adalberto looked up from his papers and grinned. “Welcome back…Underground Tyranny!”[/font][/size] [/spoiler] There are some people that have read this part of the story already, so I'll go ahead and also post the first chapter. [spoiler='Chapter 1'] [b] [font=times new roman,times,serif][size=5]Chapter 1 – Abduction[/size][/font][/b] [size=3][font=times new roman,times,serif]“[size=4]Man, what a boring day.”[/size][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]A lone teenage kid walked along a stony road, looking down to the ground and not giving a care of what was in front of him. His long, straight, gray hair reached his shoulders, and he was constantly fiddling with it. He pulled at his dark blue coat, trying to fix it.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]It was particularly a nice sunset, but he did not really care about things that are beautiful or cute. He just wanted to focus on getting the days done so he can continue doing what he loves. Of course, since it was banned to Duel in the City Streets, there was not a thing that he could do, except toil away the days working at a Ramen Shop. [/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]He walked past a group of kids playing tetherball. He stopped momentarily to look at their faces, glittering with smiles and laughter. He wondered if he would ever be able to be happy again. Ever since ten years ago, he had wanted to grow up to be a professional Duelist, but then he heard the announcement that Dueling was banned.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]And for what purpose? It endangered the environment, and could potentially cause another catastrophic event. He had witnessed the first incident, which led to the banning of Duel Monsters in the first place; an earthquake had torn the city into two different sections, and many lost their homes and their beloved. In truth, they were scared. Scared that the same thing might happen again. As such, the city took measures to ban the game for good.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]The young man’s thoughts were disturbed when he bumped into another small kid. “Hey, watch where you are going,” said the pipsqueak, with a shrill and annoying voice. He had brown spiky hair and was wearing a pair of tattered shorts, along with a white T-Shirt.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Sorry, kid. Didn’t mean to bump into you,” said the gray-haired man, not looking down at the kid. He then started to walk off, but the younger boy blocked his path.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“The name’s Kanade and I’m no kid! Now Duel me, punk! Nobody makes a fool out of me in front of my friends!”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]The gray-haired teenager looked over to the group of kids that were playing tetherball earlier. They were all laughing together and pointing fingers at the other boy. “I don’t like to be called, “punk”. The name is Toshiro. And you know Dueling is illegal, right?”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“I don’t care. Do I look like I care? Now get out your Duel Disk and Duel me, you little coward!”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Sorry,” said Toshiro walking off with his hands in his pockets, “but I left mine at home.” Toshiro then walked away from the brown-haired kid, leaving him to meddle with his own problems. The other three kids walked over to him and tried to cheer him up, but Kanade was so frustrated and so mad that he swung at his friends. The boy then ran off crying, and the echoes of his sniffling could be heard throughout the city.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“He doesn’t have any idea what Dueling does to the environment. The kid…has no idea,” Toshiro solemnly said, looking down to the ground and continuing home.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]By the time that he had arrived home, the sun had completely set upon the city. His house, although not fancy by any stretch of the imagination, was simply a modern-day house, and it was as simple as that. It had everything that you could “basically” need, and it certainly kept Toshiro pre-occupied, as there was always something breaking around the house. Toshiro entered, with all the lights off. He turned on the lamp on his desk.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]On his desk was a picture of his family when he was a child. There was his mother to the left of the picture, with strawberry-blonde hair and wearing a blue dress, holding a baby in her arms, with the same exact hair color, albeit lighter and redder than the other girls. To the right was his father, wearing a black suit, shaved head, and holding an arm on his son’s shoulder. Toshiro looked away from the picture. “What happened, mom,” he said to himself.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]He put the thought behind him and looked at the Duel Disk that was also on his desk. It was a brand new model, one that KaibaCorp had just released to the public about two weeks ago. Scattered around the Duel Disk were various tools, like screwdrivers, hammers, duct tape, and other assorted mechanical tools. He had been working on this Duel Disk ever since he bought it, hoping for the one day that he would be able to use it. However, so far, that day remained a dream.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro turned on the television, tuning into re-runs of some of the greatest shows about Dueling ever recorded. The Fortune Cup, the World Riding Grand Prix Tournament, the Numbers Tournament...they were all the things that Toshiro wanted to do in his lifetime, but was deprived of the privilege. He worshipped the legendary Duelists of his time, who were fighting for honor and glory. Then Toshiro changed the channel. Two kids were fighting in an arena full of cheering people. In the top right-hand corner of the screen was a watermark that was printed “Underground Tyranny”. Toshiro sat down and looked at the Duel. It looks like the duel had just started.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Duelist #1 LP: 4000[/b][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Duelist #2 LP: 4000[/b][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“And now, by expending 2 “Spell Counters” on my “[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Magical_Exemplar"]Magical Exemplar[/url]”, I can Special Summon “[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/R-Genex_Overseer"]R-Genex Overseer[/url]” from my hand. Now, I tune the Level 4 “Royal Magical Library” with the Level 2 “R-Genex Overseer”. I Synchro Summon “[url="http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Tempest_Magician"]Tempest Magician[/url]”![/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro was disgusted at the sight of people dueling each other for sport and greed. This was the very thing that he despised about dueling. From the bright pillar of white appeared a magician wearing a blue robe and holding a scythe in her off-hand. [b](Level 6/[u]2200 ATK[/u]/1400 DEF)[/b][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“As you know, when “Tempest Magician” is Synchro Summoned, she gains 1 “Spell Counter”, and by removing all “Spell Counters” off the field, I can deal you 500 points of damage. Right now, there are twenty on “Magical Exemplar”, fourteen on “Magical Citadel of Endymion”, and of course, the one on “Tempest Magician”, totaling out to thirty-five “Spell Counters” removed. This means I can nail with you for a One Turn Win!”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]There was a bright flash of light as the magician held out her scythe. The camera turned away shortly to the crowd, who all covered their eyes in order to shield themselves from such a blinding flash. When the flash subsided, the opposing player was spread out along the ground, eyes closed, and still of breathing.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Duelist #2 LP: 4000>>0[/b][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro turned off the television. “Humph. Whatever happened to that prospect,” he said to himself. “The honor, the glory, and the triumph of fighting for something worth giving your life for…where did that go in Dueling?” Toshiro then started cooking up some leftovers from last night. He took delight in eating, especially since he was so knowledgeable about cooking.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]There was a knock at the door. Toshiro responded with his mouth full, “Just a minute. I’ll be right there.” Setting his plate down on the desk, he approached the door, still chewing his food. He opened up to find two men wearing dark red suits with black sunglasses on, or they were sunglasses as far as Toshiro could tell.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Are you Toshiro Kaguyo, runner-up in the Ultimum Tournament and bearer of the Star Medallion,” asked one of the men.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro took his time chewing, finishing before he answered. “Yea, that’s me.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“You will come with us,” said the man. The two men then approached Toshiro. One of the men then swung towards Toshiro. Before he could anticipate what he was doing, the punch had already made contact with Toshiro’s cheek. He immediately fell to the floor, unconscious, as the two men wrapped the helpless body in a brown bag. Dragging the bag to the car, the men tossed the hapless boy into the backseat of her limousine. Then, the two drove off towards the city.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]/-/[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]A blonde-haired woman entered the door to the orphanage. The woman was sporting a black suit dress, wearing gray leggings and black high-heels. She walked with a little bit of strut, but not much, for it was just the way she was built. A woman behind the counter, blue-haired and bobcut, acknowledged the presence of the other woman. “Oh, hello Yusara,” said the receptionist. The receptionist pushed a button on a computer, which magnetically opened up a door.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Thank you, Mizuki,” responded Yusara. The blonde-haired woman than approached the door. Her expression remained unchanged: the face was stuck with a sort of sorrow, almost like pity. All of the kids that she was taking care of were forced to relive this kind of fate. Dispossessed and ripped from their futures, it was the only thing that Yusara could do to cheer up the kids that she took care of. Yet, she herself was also dispossessed of her future.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif][i]“Duelists of their own caliber…their futures ripped away from them. And I included…”[/i][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]After the Numbers Tournament, a catastrophic earthquake shook the city into two, splitting it and ripping the people of their freedom. It was at that point that Duel Monsters was effectively banned in the city. Although…[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Yusara changed her face to that of a smile. It was all she could do to see the faces of the children smile as well. She entered the room, with about a dozen or so kids shouting the woman’s name at the same time. There were kids of all different kids in the one room: red-haired and brunette, short and tall, bulk and skinny, pale and tan. Yusara smiled to each kid individually, as masses of the kids, barely coming up to Yusara’s chest, crowded around her and hugged her.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif][i]“It’s all I can do to pretend everything is going to be better. I can’t give these kids a shining future…”[/i][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Yusara, Yusara, Yusara!” The sound of her own name being heard from the kids that she was taking care of made her smile, but she knew at the same time, that most of these kids will never see their future. Their dreams will always be a distant memory in the fog, which no spotlight can shine through. Yusara knelt down before the massive parade of kids, still keeping her visage straight and rigid.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif][i]“How…all of their efforts are in vain.”[/i][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Alright, kids, alright. I know you are all excited to see me,” she responded. Yet, thinking at the same time, she struggled to find some way to save these kids from their future, or even if they could fulfill it. Yusara laughed, but inside, she was hurting.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif][i]“These kids deserve more than what they were given.”[/i][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“You should see what we made, Yusara,” a female with red hair responded. “Cover your eyes, Yusara.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Hmm? What for,” Yusara replied.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Because, we all want to show you something,” another kid responded, this time a boy with jet-black hair. “This is for all you have done for us.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Aww, you didn’t have to, guys,” Yusara responded, flustered. Yusara covered her eyes with her one hand, while she felt a force tugging on her other hand.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif][i]“I never realized how black someone’s future could be. Is this…what it really feels like to have your future ripped away from you?”[/i][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“We’re almost there, Yusara,” said a familiar voice.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Yusara felt she was being dragged to oblivion. A dark future, she thought, is at least better than not having one at all. [i]“Am I going crazy? What is this hopelessness I feel?”[/i][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Alright, here we are,” someone said. “You can open your eyes now.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Yusara did as the familiar voice instructed. She looked around the room, but found nothing interesting. Then she looked down to find a mural of a whole bunch of kids gathering around Yusara. All of the kids were smiling, just as they were today. Yusara started welling up, feeling the burden of the thoughts inside of her head. “It’s…It’s…”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif][i]“It’s a symbol of what these kids feel for me. But they have no idea…”[/i][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“It’s…absolutely beautiful. Thank you, everyone.” She then turned around and hugged each of her children, with a smile on her face, but the last person that approached had noticed that Yusara was crying.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Why are you crying, Yusara,” said the tan girl with black hair.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Well, because I am happy,” she responded. “It’s okay to cry when you are happy.” Yusara then hugged the last girl and then stood up. “You all have given me so much. I’m happy I chose this job. You give my life so much meaning.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif][i]“I wish I could say the same for them.”[/i][/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“No, Yusara. By being here, you give us a chance, too,” said a bulk kid. “You’re the greatest, Yusara!”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Thanks. Thank you all,” Yusara only responded. She wished she did not think of all of the horrible things she thought of beforehand. These kids depended on her, and if something were to happen to her, the kids would not be able to live with another caretaker. Perhaps her life does have meaning after all. She rose from her kneeling position. “I’ll be right back, I have to grab a water bottle from the vendor machine. Can I trust you all to be good little boys and girls while I am gone?”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]A chorus of “yesses” followed afterwards, and Yusara exited out the door. This was the real world. There was no more happiness within it anymore. It was amazing how much one door could change the very reality of the situation that Yusara was in. She turned the hallway and approached the vending machine, getting one bottle of water. Then, she turned around.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Are you Yusara Aito, two-time Champion of the yearly Domino City Tournament,” said a man. Yusara noticed that these two men were wearing red suits and have black glasses on.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Yusara scoffed. “Who’s asking? I haven’t dueled since then.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“You will come with us,” said the man. Then, the two men approached the helpless girl.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Wait, what’s going on? What are you doing?”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Eventually, Yusara was cornered. She could try out-running them and call for help, but she would have to bust through the rather large men in order to that. She could try fighting, but she did not know if she could take them on. Before she had any time to think, Yusara felt a sharp jolt hit her hip. Instantly, she dropped to the ground, unconscious.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Never had to use the taser before,” one of the men said. The other two then wrapped up the helpless body in a brown bag and carried the bag out.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]/-/[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Adalberto sat with his hands clasped, waiting for anything exciting that would be happening today. So far, nothing. Just as he was about to rise from his chair, he heard a ringing on his phone. He hit the dial. “Yea, what is it?”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“We’ve captured the two Duelists you’ve requested. It was easy work,” said another man on the other line.[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“You know the drill. Once they get here, hook them up with the braces and get them to work. If you can even get some work out of them.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Yes, sir.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]With that, the line closed and Adalberto turned back to the television. “Finally, it’s time to bring back the greatest television series of all time. All I need are a few more “willing” contestants to duel for me. Hah! Everything is going so smoothly for me.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Somehow, I doubt that,” said a female voice, alto-ish and tired. The woman was armed with a black Duel Disk, and had burgundy curls that extended all the way down to the floor. “I find it offensive to use the term “willing”.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Yet, without them, you wouldn’t have any competition. Am I right?”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]The woman scoffed. “I suppose you are right.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Angela…” Adalberto said slowly, “…you are an idol on our television series. All of the women in this pathetic world look up to you for one sole purpose: to become like you.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“That’s very flattering,” Angela said, playing with her hair. “However, that was a different me. The new me wouldn’t hesitate to take down those women just to retain my status.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]Adalberto laughed. “How very like you. You should get prepared.”[/font][/size] [size=4][font=times new roman,times,serif]“Fine,” was the only thing that came out of Angela's mouth. She then turned around and headed out the door, mumbling to herself. Adalberto looked on, with a sinister look on his face.[/font][/size] [/spoiler] [spoiler='Chapter 2'] [b] [font=times new roman,times,serif][size=5]Chapter 2 – Practice Run for Dummies[/size][/font][/b] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro awoke. How long had he been unconscious? Last thing he remembered, he was munching on dinner when two guys jumped him. He looked around. It looked like he was in some kind of jail cell, painted purple with a couch in the corner, facing a television. “What is this,” he said to himself, looking around. He looked down to his right wrist and noticed that he was wearing some kind of cybernetic implant. It was painted light blue, which really did not tailor to his tastes, but considering the situation, it was the least of his concerns. He approached the couch and sat down, thinking where he could be. “Okay, so I am in a purple jail cell…with some assortments…There is no one around that I can see or hear…”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]There was a flicker on the television, and then, there appeared the image of a massive bulk man, with blond hair, also with a scruffy beard. “Greetings, fellow Duelist. And welcome to the Underground! Rest assured that you are now far beyond any and all hope, and attempts to do so will ultimately end in failure. There will be no rescues, no pardons, no heroics, and no possibility of any escape. You are now a contestant on the greatest underground reality television series known as “Underground Tyranny”!”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro’s jaw dropped. So the two men that jumped him before were ambassadors from “Underground Tyranny.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The message on the television continued. “You will become a celebrity, a star within your own time, provided that you can play the game well. As you may or may not know, the current sport of Duel Monsters is banned. However, we of the Underground have gone to considerable lengths to ensure that the sport remains alive in our hearts. And now, as a contestant on this show, you will experience new challenges, new enemies, and a whole new gameplay. Chances are, you’ll go home in a body bag tomorrow, but if you can overcome the vast amount of obstacles, the sheer number of contestants, and of course, the Big Four from last season, then you may just be crowned “King of the Underground”, but don’t count on it! After all, who knows if you can get the pounce on the other players? Only we of the Underground can decide that. Contestant, your practice match is about to begin. Line up in the Battle Dome and wait for further instructions. And always remember, we’ll be keeping an eye on you.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The final moments of the message then showed the large blond-haired man laughing maniacally, and then the television flickered out. The door to Toshiro’s jail cell then opened up, leaving him to wonder if he should make a run for it. This was the perfect opportunity. Instead, Toshiro could not. There was something inside of him telling him that there would be no escape. Then, two men dressed in red suits entered Toshiro’s cell. Toshiro’s expression changed to one of bitterness. How could these cowards knock a guy out and then force him into a competition?[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Didn’t you hear the man? Get ready,” one of the men commanded. Toshiro grunted, not having any choice in the matter. “And,” the man continued, “don’t try any sudden moves. That bracelet is on there for a reason.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro looked at the mechanical bracelet that was on his right arm. He looked to the two men and grunted. The three then exited out of the cell.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The three continued down a long hallway until they reached a line of competitors, all with Duel Disks strapped to their left wrists, and all of them had the same light blue implant on their right wrists. Toshiro wondered what they were for. Was it torture?[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Take note of the bracelet on your arm, contestant,” one of the men said. “Should a contestant stray into any restricted area or become… noncompliant, then the bracelet will administer a painful and possibly fatal shock. You had best be obedient.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro sharply exhaled. There was no way that these crooks would get away with kidnapping him. But then again, there was that one thing that said in the back of his mind that this was the perfect time to test his Dueling Skills. He had always wanted to be a Duelist, and now, he finally would become one.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro was then shoved to the front of the line, like he was about to be executed. He looked at a woman as he passed by her, her hair pinned up and blonde, and her glittering blue eyes seemed to meet with his hazel ones. Then, the girl looked away, masking her anger. Did Toshiro just feel a connection with this woman?[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Move along, kid,” said an ambassador, pushing Toshiro into the arena.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The arena was larger than Toshiro imagined. There was a waterfall at both adjacent ends of the arena, which provided at least a little bit of tranquility. However, Toshiro was not here to relax. An ambassador had finished fiddling with a mechanical robot on the opposite side of the arena.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“This is your qualification round. If you succeed here, you can move on to become a contestant. Fail, and you go home dead,” said an ambassador menacingly. Another one gave Toshiro a Duel Disk, already loaded with a Deck.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Before this match, players are given a Deck custom tailored to the qualifying round. In the qualification round, you may not use monsters that are higher than level four. Of course, our bot is programmed to follow these rules as well. Don’t worry, though, we don’t expect you to live that long.” The ambassador then snickered and fastened the Duel Disk around Toshiro’s wrist. Then, the Dueling Bot initialized, with sparks flying out from its eyes. Yellow and tattered in appearance, it seemed to move sluggishly, using cables for arms and other assortments as body parts.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Initializing…commencing upload. Status: Dueling. Switching protocol,” said the mechanic robot, priming its Duel Disk. Toshiro followed in response.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“No monsters higher than Level four. That’s the pretext of this Duel,” Toshiro said to himself. “I’m just going to have to go by the books.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Commencing five-card hand setup. Scanning.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro quietly followed in response, drawing a five-card hand and looking towards the mechanized robot. “Okay. Bring it on, tin can.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Toshiro LP: 4000[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Duel-Bot LP: 4000[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Commencing first move. Initiating draw,” said the mechanical robot, drawing a card from its deck.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Duel-Bot CC: 6[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Observing card hand. Initiating action. Normal Summoning “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Silver_Fang]Silver Fang[/url]”.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]As the bot did so, the hologram of a white wolf appeared, glimmering in the distance. Its fur was made of pure silk, and had sharp yellow eyes. The wolf bared its teeth [b](Level 3/[u]1200 ATK[/u]/800 DEF)[/b]. “Commencing new action. Observing situation. Placing two cards facedown. Ending turn.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Alright then, it’s my move, metal head,” Toshiro declared, drawing a card. He analyzed his hand, and was thinking of what to use next.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Toshiro CC: 6[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro’s opening hand consisted of “King Tiger Wanghu”, “Trap Hole”, “Lightning Vortex”, “Marauding Captain”, and “Magic Cylinder”, while the card he just now drew was a “Milus Radiant”. This setup did not seem very bad. However, he needed to get his opponent’s monsters off the field. He’ll start off slow.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“I’ll start with this. [url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Milus_Radiant]Milus Radiant[/url], come on out!”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]A small four-armed creature then appeared in front of Toshiro. [b](Level 1/[u]300 ATK[/u]/250 DEF) [/b]“And there is a bonus! Whenever he is out on the field, all Earth Attribute monsters gain five-hundred ATK.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Milus Radiant: (1/300/250>>1/800/250)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Then, I activate the Spell Card “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Lightning_Vortex]Lightning Vortex[/url]”. By discarding one card from my hand, your field is wiped clean of monsters.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]A super-charged bolt of lightning hit the Duel-Bot’s side of the field, blasting away the hologram of the white wolf. Toshiro, however, was concerned about those two facedown cards. “Now, I’m launching an attack. Milus Radiant, attack the Duel-Bot directly.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Scanning situation. Activating countermeasures,” the Duel-Bot responded. “Trap Card activated, “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Birthright]Birthright[/url]”. Now Special Summoning “Silver Fang” from the Graveyard due to the effect of “Birthright”. Scanning. Also, by the effect of “Milus Radiant”, “Silver Fang” gains a five-hundred ATK point bonus.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Silver Fang: (3/1200/800>>3/1700/800)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“No way! It’s too late to call off my attack,” Toshiro responded, as the silver-coated wolf bit at the four-legged creature. Toshiro felt a shock in his right wrist, right at the spot where the implant was.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Toshiro LP: 4000>>2900[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Silver Fang: (3/1700/800>>3/1200/800)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“So not only does it shock you when you do unauthorized things, but it also shocks you when you take battle damage? This isn’t good,” he responded. He regained his composure and looked to his opponent. “Bring it on, tin man. I place a card face down and end my turn.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro was relying on his face down “Magic Cylinder”. If the Duel-Bot summoned another monster, he might be in for some serious trouble.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Now commencing draw,” said the duel bot.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Duel-Bot CC: 4[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Commencing move. Normal Summoning “Silver Fang”.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“What, another one,” Toshiro questioned as yet another silver-coated wolf appeared on the field. [b](Level 3/[u]1200 ATK[/u]/800 DEF)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Now initiating Xyz Summon!”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“What? An Xyz Summon,” Toshiro said to himself, as the two wolves degenerated into a red and yellow orb of light. Then, a pitch-black void appeared beneath the Dueling Arena, where the two orbs transcended into one monster.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Xyz Summon successful. Special Summoning “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Lavalval_Ignis]Lavalval Ignis[/url]”.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]From the pitch-black void rose a monster, aflame and burning vehemently. The resemblance of the monster appeared to be that of a titanium warrior. [b](Rank 3/[u]1800 ATK[/u]/1400 DEF)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“This doesn’t look good,” Toshiro said to himself.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Now declaring Direct Attack,” the Duel-Bot commanded, as the titanium warrior held up a flame, which grew in size.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“I don’t think so. I activate my Trap Card, “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Magic_Cylinder]Magic Cylinder[/url]”,” responded Toshiro, as two magical cylinders appeared in the sky.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Deploying countermeasures. Trap Card open, “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dust_Tornado]Dust Tornado[/url]”. When this card is activated, the user can destroy the opponent’s Spell or Trap card,” said the Duel-Bot, as a fierce wind whipped up and blew the two cylinders away. The titanium warrior then continued his assault. [/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Now activating the effect of “Lavalval Ignis”. By detaching one Xyz Material Monster off “Lavalval Ignis”, it gains five-hundred ATK during the Damage Step.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Just when things could not get any worse. This attack would inflict twenty-three hundred points of damage to Toshiro, and he did not have anything to counteract the monster’s attack. The titanium warrior grew in size until it reached it had more power than before. [/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b](R3/1800/1400>>R3/2300/1400) [/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Then, the monster clasped his hands together, releasing from it a wave of fire that burned Toshiro alive.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Toshiro LP: 2900>>600[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Lavalval Ignis: (R3/2300/1400>>R3/1800/1400)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“I’ve got to find a way to get that monster off the field,” Toshiro thought to himself. He drew his card, hoping for something that might turn the tides. Then, he smiled.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Toshiro Card Count: 3[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“I Normal Summon “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Mystic_Piper]Mystic Piper[/url]” to the field”,” announced Toshiro, as a jester holding a flute appeared before him. [b](Level 1/[u]0 ATK/ [/u]0 DEF) [/b]“And by Tributing my “Mystic Piper”, I’m allowed to draw an additional card, and if it happens to be a Level one Monster, by revealing the monster I just drew, I’m allowed to draw again. So here goes.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]As the flute-holding jester disappeared in front of his eyes, Toshiro placed his hands on his Deck slot, hoping for a good draw. Toshiro was not quite sure what to make of this Deck. He was not used to switching Deck styles after he had been using his Quick Synchro Deck for so long. He drew, and delight creased his eyes.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“The card that I just drew was a copy of “Atomic Firefly”,” Toshiro said, spinning his card around to reveal it to the robot, “so now, I’m allowed to draw again.” Toshiro drew again, and he drew another card that might help him out in this situation.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Toshiro CC: 4[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“I play the “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Tribute_to_the_Doomed]Tribute to the Doomed[/url]” Spell Card. By throwing away one card in my hand, I can destroy one face-up monster on the field. So, I get rid of “Atomic Firefly” and your monster is history!”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]A legion of ghouls and zombies then appeared next to the monster, wrapping it in bandages and taking it underground, where it was never seen again.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“I then set one facedown, and then I’ll let you have a shot, robo-boy.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Now commencing draw,” the robot said, monotone as ever.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Duel-Bot CC: 4[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Commencing action. Setting one monster in Defense Position. Ending turn.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“That’s all, tin can,” Toshiro arrogantly said. “I hope you aren’t serious.” Toshiro drew his card. His draws kept getting better and better.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Toshiro CC: 2[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“I Normal Summon “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/King_Tiger_Wanghu]King Tiger Wanghu[/url]”. [b](Level 4/[u]1700 ATK[/u]/1000 DEF) [/b]And then, I’ll have my Tiger attack your face-down monster.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]As the tiger leapt towards the monster, a small squirrel appeared, wrapped in a blanket of white and yellow light. The Tiger sliced through the squirrel with its front paw and the monster disintegrated, but not before leaving its blanket of light.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Nimble Momonga? I hate that monster,” Toshiro said[/font][font=times new roman,times,serif].[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Effect resolving. Due to the effect of “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Nimble_Momonga]Nimble Momonga[/url]”, when it is destroyed in battle, its controller gains one thousand Life Points and can Special Summon two additional “Nimble Momongas” from the Deck in face-down Defense Position.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The blanket of white and yellow light then wrapped around the Duel-Bot, and two more monster cards appeared in front of the robot, face down.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Duel-Bot LP: 4000>>5000[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Great, so now I have to deal with two more of those things. Well, not if I can help it,” Toshiro said to himself. His confidence had waned before, but he was certain that he had gotten the hang of it. “I end my turn,” he said aloud.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Action initiated. Commencing draw,” said the robot, monotone as always. Toshiro was getting annoyed at this robot.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Duel-Bot CC: 4[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Action completed. Re-initiating new action. Protocol set. Flip Summoning two monsters.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Two flying squirrels then appeared on the field, bathed in blankets of white and yellow light. They hovered in the air, waiting to strike. [b](Level 2/[u]1000 ATK[/u]/100 DEF) [/b]“Now initiating Xyz Summon.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Again? You’ve got to be kidding me,” Toshiro said. “What’s it going to be this time?”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Action commenced. Xyz Summon successful. Special Summoning “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Shine_Elf]Shine Elf[/url]”.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The two squirrels then transformed into a red and yellow orb, disappearing into the void below the arena, reappearing as a shining elf wearing green and white armor. [b](Rank 2/[u]1600 ATK[/u]/1000 DEF)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“That’s all,” Toshiro said arrogantly. “It only has sixteen-hundred attack points. Come next turn, I can demolish it with my “King Tiger Wanghu”.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Setting one card facedown. Ending turn.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Well, so much for that,” Toshiro said, drawing his card. He glanced over to what his card was, and a small smile creased over his lips.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Toshiro CC: 2[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“I Normal Summon “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Rescue_Cat]Rescue Cat[/url]”.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]As Toshiro laid the card down on the Duel Disk system, a white cat with a helmet on its head appeared onto the field. [b](Level 4/[u]300 ATK[/u]/100 DEF) [/b]“And by sending “Rescue Cat” to the Graveyard, I can Special Summon two Level three or lower Beast-Type monsters from my Deck. Since we are running the same Deck, robo-boy, I’m Summoning out two familiar monsters. Come forth, my two “Silver Fangs”.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]As the “Rescue Cat” hopped into Toshiro’s Graveyard slot, from his Deck slot came two familiar wolves, tinted with gray fur. The two wolves looked at each other and barked, then howled alongside each other. [b](Level 3/[u]1200 ATK[/u]/800 DEF)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Alright, robo-boy, it’s time. I initiate my Xyz Summon! You thought you had me, right? Well, I’ve got news for you, too, tin can: Two can play at that game. I’m gonna win and get out of here.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The two wolves then transformed into a red and yellow orb, which descended into a black void that opened up below the playing field. “Xyz Summon, “Lavalval Ignis!”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]As the robot had done before, Toshiro did right at this exact moment. From the pitch black void appeared the same metal warrior that had given Toshiro so much trouble. Now, he had it under his command. [b](Rank 3/[u]1800 ATK[/u]/1400 DEF)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“And now, I’m declaring an attack on your “Shine Elf”! And during the Damage Step, by detaching one Xyz Material Monster off of “Lavalval Ignis” and it gains five-hundred attack points during the Damage Step.” [b](R3/1800/1400>>R3/2300/1400)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The monster clasped his hands together, releasing from it a wave of fire. The wave of fire coursed on towards the shining elf. However, the robot simply stood there, not activating its Trap Card. The flames swallowed up the elf, and then the blast redirected to the robot.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Duel-Bot LP: 5000>>4300[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Yes, finally, I did some damage,” cheered Toshiro. “Now, I declare a Direct Attack with my “King Tiger Wanghu”.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The ferocious tiger then leapt towards the robot, preparing to slash down on it, when suddenly, the robot activated its Trap Card.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Initiating action. Trap Card activated, “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Dimensional_Prison]Dimensional Prison[/url]”. When the opponent’s monster declares an attack, this card removes the attacking monster from play.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]A black and purple void appeared in front of the monster, and it was eventually sucked in through the void, disappearing off the field.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][i]“The only reason the bot would do that is because of “King Tiger Wanghu’s” effect, immediately destroying any and all monsters with fourteen-hundred or less ATK that are Summoned,” [/i]Toshiro thought. [i]“But this round goes to man. If it does summon a monster, I’ll have my Trap Hole card waiting. If the bot Normal Summons a monster with one thousand or more ATK points, I can activate this card and immediately destroy that monster. It’s foolproof…maybe.”[/i][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Fine. I end my turn,” Toshiro said.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The bot drew its card, for the first time, in silence. No annoying chatter and no declaring what action it would take. It was a nice face-lift to Toshiro.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Duel-Bot CC: 5[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Commencing action. Summoning “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Element_Dragon]Element Dragon[/url]” to the field.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]As the bot laid its card down on the Duel Disk system, a shining red dragon appeared on the field, with green wings spanned, ready to fly. [b](Level 4/[u]1500 ATK[/u]/1200 DEF)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Hah, I was waiting for that. Trap Card activate, “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Trap_Hole]Trap Hole[/url]”,” Toshiro declared. “Because you Summoned a monster with more than one thousand attack points, I can activate this Trap Card, and your monster is immediately destroyed.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]A wide dark hole opened up beneath the monster, sinking the dragon in before it ever landed to the ground.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Setting one card facedown. Ending turn,” said the robot. Toshiro had no doubt in his mind: he had this duel in the bag.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“My draw then, tin-can,” he declared.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Toshiro CC: 2[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“I’m having my “Lavalval Ignis” attack you directly. You had better get ready, because this might put a little bit of “fire” into your paint job. Now by detaching one of the Xyz Material Monsters off “Lavalval Ignis”, it gains five-hundred attack points until the end of the Damage Step! Now go and attack!”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The titanium warrior built up a ball of flame, in which the added power made it even larger than what it was before. [b](R3/1800/1400>>R3/2300/1400) [/b]The titanium warrior then shot its ball of flame directly towards the robot. Toshiro rejoiced silently to himself. There was still the possibility of the Trap Card nevertheless, and that placed an equal amount of pressure on him. The robot, however, did not play its Trap Card, and instead took the direct hit.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Duel-Bot LP: 4300>>2000[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Lavalval Ignis: (R3/2300/1400>>R3/1800/1400)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Alright, that pretty much does it for me,” Toshiro said. Once again, the Duel-Bot said nothing as it drew its card.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Duel-Bot CC: 4[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Summoning “Swarm Bird” to the field,” said the Duel-Bot, as a black and blue raven flew onto the field, spanning its small, but wide wings. [b](Level 2/[u]600 ATK[/u]/400 DEF) [/b][/font] [spoiler='Swarm Bird'] Winged Beast/Effect DARK Level 2 600 ATK/400 DEF When this card is destroyed by the effect of a Trap Card: Inflict 500 points of damage to your opponent. Then: you may Special Summon 1 "Swarm Bird" from your Deck in face-up Defense Position with its effect negated.[/spoiler] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Now activating Trap Card, “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Torrential_Tribute]Torrential Tribute[/url]”.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“No way, “Torrential Tribute”,” said a stunned Toshiro. “That’s one of the most powerful Trap Cards ever created.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“The Trap “Torrential Tribute” instantly destroys all monsters on the field,” said the Duel-Bot, as a tidal wave crashed onto the field, washing away both the “Lavalval Ignis” and the “Swarm Bird”. Toshiro looked to his opponent, expecting some other type of move.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Why do that? You took out your own monster, bolt-brain,” Toshiro said.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“The effect of “Swarm Bird” activates. When this monster is destroyed by a Trap Card effect, the opponent takes five-hundred points of damage.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro gasped as a flock of ravens burst forth from a void and viciously clawed at Toshiro, dropping him to his last one-hundred Life Points.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Toshiro LP: 100[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Furthermore, the controller of the destroyed “Swarm Bird” can Special Summon another one from his or her Deck with its effect negated.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro breathed a sigh of relief as another black and blue raven appeared on the field. This time, the monster glowed blue and held its wings across its face. [b](Level 2/600 ATK/[u]400 DEF[/u]) [/b]“Now ending turn.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Clever move there, tin-man,” Toshiro said, never losing his concentration. He was hoping for a miracle with this next draw.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif][b]Toshiro CC: 3[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]His hand now consisted of “Marauding Captain”, “Gene-Warped Werewolf”, and “Monster Reborn”. This was too perfect. If everything went according to his plan, he would be able to win this match, after dragging it out for so long. He smiled as he held out his card to his opponent.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“I play “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Monster_Reborn]Monster Reborn[/url]”, which instantly allows me to summon back any monster from the Graveyard, and I choose “Lavalval Ignis”.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Rising from a black hole as the ankh gave off a mystic white glow, the titanium warrior appeared right before Toshiro. However, it appeared weaker than what it once was, presumably because it was lacking its Xyz Materials. [b](Rank 3/[u]1800 ATK[/u]/1400 DEF) [/b]“Then, I Normal Summon “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Marauding_Captain]Marauding Captain[/url]” to the field.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]As Toshiro slapped the card down on his Duel Disk, the image of a warrior dressed in teal plate armor holding two swords appeared right next to the titanium warrior. [b](Level 3/1200 ATK/400 DEF)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Then,” continued Toshiro, “since “Marauding Captain” was just now Normal Summoned, I can Special Summon one other monster from my hand that is Level four or below, like my “[url=http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Gene-Warped_Werewolf]Gene-Warped Werewolf[/url]”.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The “Marauding Captain” stuck its twin swords into the ground, opening up the earth. From the ravine appeared a four-armed, genetically mutated werewolf, standing upright as if it were human. [b](Level 4/[u]2000 ATK[/u]/100 DEF)[/b][/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“Now, I declare an attack. “Lavalval Ignis,” take out that “Swarm Bird”.”[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The titanium warrior, once again, built up an immense ball of fire, launching it afterwards straight towards the black and blue-feathered raven. The resulting explosion fried the bird, leaving only a small black feather behind. Toshiro smirked; the robot was now open for a Direct Attack. However, just as he was about to declare his next attack, the holograms on the field suddenly disappeared. The robot started producing sparks of electricity, and soon dismantled altogether, leaving nothing behind except for a few pounds of scrap metal.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]The two men dressed in red suits from before came up from behind Toshiro. “Very well played, contestant. You may prove to be a good Duelist,” one of them said.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]Toshiro then felt a shock in his right arm. The bracelet had activated, sending a sharp pain coursing throughout his body. In the next minute, Toshiro fell to the ground, face stretched with agony. The two men in red wrapped their arms around the limp body and carried it straight to the cells.[/font] [font=times new roman,times,serif]“All brawl and no brain. Humph. He’d make for a great contestant once the show finally airs,” said one of the men. The door to the arena closed behind him.[/font] [/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IceDorago Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 I enjoyed your old story while you were doing it, but this one seems promising as well. Maybe I missed something, but, why would KC be making new disks if Dueling is banned, or do they still run tourneys and such? Kind of unclear on that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Okies. Won't hurt to review/pick through this, right? I'll do the prologue only, and the first chapter later if at all. (Note that I'm not a duelist anymore, so I might be unfamiliar with some things.) First of all, instead of using spoiler tags for custom cards, may I suggest acronym tags? [code][acronym=This is a description.]This is a card name.[/acronym][/code] becomes [acronym=This is a description.]This is a card name.[/acronym] (Mouse over.) You'd have to enter things on a single line without style tags for the description, but it's much less visually intrusive. Now, onto the story itself. [quote]The screaming of the fans…the joy of seeing people fall under his command…this is the thing that he truly loved. Ever since years ago when the show began, he has had an obsession with it, trying to rake in all of the money and ratings that he could ever hope to attain. However, as of late, the show has lost ratings. People stopped watching and coming to the grand spectacle. People stopped dialing in to see their favorite contestants battle it out in the greatest arena challenge ever known to man. People stopped commenting on their daily blogs about the most adrenaline-packed, action-pumped, underground combat sport that had taken control people’s lives, and have completely moved on to something different. And was the mastermind behind the greatest television series of all time going to stand for this? Not one bit.[/quote] I feel that this paragraph starts out weak. The phrasing of the first few sentences, particularly "However as late...", is rather odd to read. Also, "dialing in" doesn't seem like the right verb for a TV show - "tune in" instead? Regardless, I like the buildup. [quote]A large, bulky man sat in front of a wide-screen television, watching the last episode that ever aired of his beloved television show. Two young duelists, both male, had lined up to take each other on in the arena. Both of them were strapped with an implant device on their hip. Maybe that was the reason…no, he could not think about that right now. The large man sat watching the duel unfold right before his eyes.[/quote] Bold + underline = my corrections. Also, back down on the adjectives describing him as fat. We get that he's big, but we don't know anything else. Switch some things and describe other aspects (hair, eyes, clothing, etc.) [quote]The large man slapped his forehead with his hand. “I can’t believe that they would still use Synchros and Dark Synchros, especially in this period and age,” said the rather gruff man. He then sat up from his slouched position. “Maybe that’s it. People need something more exciting than just pathetic Synchros and Dark Synchros. Maybe there is something else out there that can excite the crowd once more!” He then turned around in his chair and grabbed his pen, fervently writing down anything and everything that came to his mind. He would re-build the ultimate arena, and then he would gather all of the greatest Duelists from around the world, and force them to compete.[/quote] See above. That first bit of speech sounds weird: "period and age" just doesn't sound natural. Also, the about-face on his inspiration is jarring. Personally, it'd be better if you give a bit more background on him - possibly move later paragraphs before this one? - before his epiphany. [quote]Originally, it was his idea to kidnap duelists off the streets and force them to compete in high-adrenaline, action-packed dueling in order to see which one of them could be crowned the season’s best duelist. But people did not like that prospect. They all thought it was a fluke, and so, they stopped watching, commenting, and dialing in, and eventually the ratings got so low and the cash had dwindled down so much that they had to cancel. The audience felt that the matches were rigged, which was not his intention. Maybe now, he should only focus on the best of the best, and leave the rest to die in the hellhole of today’s society. The large bulky man, still scratching down ideas on his paper, also turned around occasionally to see the outcome of the last duel ever recorded.[/quote] So the dude's a criminal sleaze. Interesting, but not wholly enthralling. "Kidnapped by an evil organization" is too trite, even if it doesn't actually appear in the story proper. I'd bet you can think of a less cliched approach. Also, way too much exposition. You could display this better with some internal narration or dialogue, especially since he's supposedly in a creative frenzy right now. [quote]“Oh, don’t give me that crap, Snape,” said the large [u][b]bulky[/b][/u] man. The man in the orange suit retaliated. He was not used to this sort of behavior from his boss. “I need to make this season the most electrifying, the most grueling, and the most thrilling season ever to hit television sets across the entire world. Moreover, what have you to contribute yet? Nothing!”[/quote] More needless repetition of description: you seriously need to work on that. [quote]“Humph. The only reason people don’t watch any more is because you’ve run out of ideas,” Snape replied. The large [u][b]bulky[/b][/u] man found truth in his words. He simply sighed and returned [b][u]to[/u][/b] writing [s]on his papers[/s]. “I’ve told you a hundred times before: if you want to be the most grueling competition ever, don’t just kidnap random duelists from off of the streets. Make an attempt.”[/quote] "An attempt" at...? This just doesn't flow right: it seems interrupted. Also, to what degree has society collapsed that people being kidnapped presumably en masse doesn't raise an eyebrow? Shouldn't someone have connected the dots and thrown this piece of junk in the slammer already? [quote]“Hah,” the gruff man replied. “That’s easier said than done. Thirty years ago, we would have been worshipping Yuma Tsukara. Whatever happened to that [s]prospect[/s]? I’ll tell you what happened[s]:[/s][b][u].[/b][/u] Duelists have no respect anymore.” The large man spun around in his chair and turned the television off, prompting him to spin right around again. “I’ll tell you what I’m going to be doing next, Snape, and it’ll be the last thing you ever expect.”[/quote] And of course this is probably going to be the first thing an evil henchman would expect from his equally-evil boss. <o>_<o> The rest requires no comment, because I think you could extrapolate what I'd say based on the above comments. My main concerns for you are working on varying your adjectives, fiddling with your dialogue a bit more, and reconsider that whole kidnapping thread. It raises way too many plot holes. My final arbitrary grade is a [b][color="#ff0000"]B[/color][/b]. Your spelling is near-flawless (remember, bulk = noun, bulky/bulked = adjective) and the idea can show promise, but you have to polish up on your technical stuff a bit more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Divine Chaos Posted October 3, 2011 Report Share Posted October 3, 2011 So i was taking a look around the fan fic section, and what did I find but a fic by Dante v. Nero. Unfortunately (no offence to you) I don't have enough time to do a full review, so I just mention a few things that peeved me about your work. 1. A weak startup. This is something I and many authors are guilty of, but it's just the first issue to pop up, so it'll get a mention. 2.Descriptions. I saw a lot of sentences with too few details, giving me no view into the scene whatsoever. Other sentences had detail that just stuck out badly or didn't work at all. Needless repetition show itself around here too. 3. Exposition. I noticed in chapter 1, you noted that Dueling causes catastrophes. Now forgive my ignorance if I'm missing something here, but since when do card games affect the natural environment to such a degree? And for that matter, if it did, then why still Duel for commercial sport? 4. Slight logic problems. Kidnapping mass amounts of people, and society not blinking an eye. Ok, that can be worked around. knocking someone flat with a punch on the cheek? Dunno how that happens, but again, not so improbable. Really, the concept of your story isn't too bad (not something terribly original, but interesting at least.) Apart from a few problems here and there (mostly grammer and descriptions that don't work here and there), your fic is solid. I'll definitely take a look once you post more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted October 4, 2011 Report Share Posted October 4, 2011 Yes I got around to reading this at last. Well: I'm as mystified as DC regarding the contradiction of Dueling is banned/KaibaCorp making Duel Disks. Is it just banned in this city / this country / the world? And if its totally banned, then how would this Tv show be able to run for five minutes without them all being caught? I mean yeah I get that these illegal clubs happen like dog fighting and stuff and they get crowds, but on national TV. And if it had that big an effect on the environment, surely the police would be dedicated to stopping it, and to recovering missing persons of some fame like the two duelists seemed to be built up as being famous-ish. Just some real contradictory stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted October 4, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2011 [quote name='Bahamut ZERO' timestamp='1317756891' post='5560391'] Yes I got around to reading this at last. Well: I'm as mystified as DC regarding the contradiction of Dueling is banned/KaibaCorp making Duel Disks. Is it just banned in this city / this country / the world?[/quote] It will later be revealed in the story whether Dueling is simply banned in the city or just wherever. It's no Armageddon, though, I can tell you that right off the bat. [quote]And if its totally banned, then how would this Tv show be able to run for five minutes without them all being caught? I mean yeah I get that these illegal clubs happen like dog fighting and stuff and they get crowds, but on national TV. And if it had that big an effect on the environment, surely the police would be dedicated to stopping it, and to recovering missing persons of some fame like the two duelists seemed to be built up as being famous-ish. Just some real contradictory stuff. [/quote] I knew going into this story that it might be contradictory to some people. I call it (and this is self-proclaimed) a "Twilight Plot", where it doesn't make sense at the beginning, but as the plot is more defined and the characters grow and grow, it makes more sense and comes to a close at the end. At least, I hope. Not really the best name to give it, though. [quote name='Kyubey' timestamp='1317590239' post='5555807'] My final arbitrary grade is a [b][color=#ff0000]B[/color][/b]. [/quote] Wow....I was expecting you to be a lot harsher in your critique. Oh well, I guess a B is a good "grade" to get, even though it refers me back to my high-school days. God, if I ever got a B in my classes.... Oh, yeah, I'll make sure to refer you both to Star for the little review game that is going on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 [quote name='Dante v. Nero' timestamp='1317757231' post='5560397'] Wow....I was expecting you to be a lot harsher in your critique. Oh well, I guess a B is a good "grade" to get, even though it refers me back to my high-school days. God, if I ever got a B in my classes.... [/quote] Wait wait wait, you're in college and this is the level you write at? *reduces respect by 1* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted October 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 [quote name='Dr. Cakey-chan' timestamp='1317774128' post='5561097'] Wait wait wait, you're in college and this is the level you write at? *reduces respect by 1* [/quote] I'm not in college, I graduated last year. And at least I write stuff, unlike you. And I don't really care about your respect. I was merely implying that if I got a B in my classes that my parents would kill me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bury the year Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 I gave you the grade relatively, based on the "standards" of other sludge in this forum. A B on YCM isn't the best, but it's okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted October 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 [quote name='Kyubey' timestamp='1317780240' post='5561398'] I gave you the grade relatively, based on the "standards" of other sludge in this forum. A B on YCM isn't the best, but it's okay. [/quote] Well, it's okay in my opinion, I guess. BTW: I didn't know you did beta reading. I probably should have done that before I posted. =\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted October 5, 2011 Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 [quote name='Dante v. Nero' timestamp='1317774578' post='5561127'] I'm not in college, I graduated last year. And at least I write stuff, unlike you. [b]*Considers writing another sentence of 5D's Second Ride. Decides not to.*[/b] And I don't really care about your respect. [b]Yeah? Well I don't care about your face! So there!![/b] I was merely implying that if I got a B in my classes that my parents would kill me. [/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted October 11, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2011 UPDATE: Chapter 2 is up. And it has been a while. I was supposed to update either yesterday or the day before, but I got sidetracked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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