Dr. Cakey Posted September 17, 2011 Report Share Posted September 17, 2011 Read the first chapter of a story I haven't read or reviewed before, crappily summarize it...WHILE LISTENING TO THE GURREN LAGGAN SOUNDTRACK!! I will update erratically and in batches of [s]three[/s] however many it takes to reach the two page minimum. [spoiler='1. Pierce the Heavens With Your XXX!'] Never saw Bokurano, don't know what it's about. Let's go!!!!!! Starts with Chapter 0? wat no dis isnt teh prologue. A bunch of boring kids are going to a roller coaster for school because story. Boys talk about roller coasters. Girls talk about boys because that's what girls do. They blush adorably. The roller coaster is broken, but a pedophile says they can play Neon Genesis Evangelion instead. Then they warp several hours into the future because...story? The robot appears. The Third Angel appears. They warp into the robot because story. The pedophile uses the robot to attack the weak point for massive damage. Then the kids go to the beach. [/spoiler] Story: Bokurano II Author: Ātman Seijo [spoiler='2. I Said I'd XXX It!'] So a guy has a crush on a girl. The one character I know about from Reborn! says he's a mafia boss and he needs to find McGuffins that will [s]open the door to Ganondorf's castle[/s] restore the family. Or something. Guys with guns appear. The baby kills the guy. He gets better. He goes Super Saiyan. The guys with guns die except they aren't dead they're unconscious. He stops being awesome. The girl hates him because he can has awesome power. He goes to Italy. [/spoiler] Story: Return of the Vongola Author: Chaos Sonic [spoiler='3. You Two-Faced Son of a XXX!'] PROLOGUE: Legendary Six Samurai. Apparently they're not OP'd in this story. Kizan is lazy. Blackwing - Fane says hi. Also they mention the Karakuri. CHAPTER 1: Luna's deck is sadfaced because Ancient Fairy Dragon disappeared. So did all the other archetypes' boss monsters. They go looking in a random direction for Ancient Fairy Dragon. No, that's it. Really. CHAPTER 2: Luna's deck goes to a place covered in darkness. They meet Scrap Recycler. They talk to...Machine King? Then they go away. No, that's it. Really. [/spoiler] Story: Yu-Gi-Oh! Lustrous Spirits Author: Cursed Reaction [spoiler='4. Does Having So Many Faces Make You XXX?'] A guy is in an alternate dimension. He has visions of stuff happening. Other people come. They talk about stuff. There are probably villains. They leave. [/spoiler] Story: Yu-Gi-Oh Fate of the Divided Author: Divine Chaos [spoiler='5. I Don't Get It, Not One XXX!'] A bunch of characters exist. Digimon exist. They go to the Digital World. They get Digimon. They Digivolve twice. They fight a thing and win. [/spoiler] Story: Digimon Adventure ND Author: legendhiro [spoiler='6. Sit in the XXX 'Til You're Sick!'] High School Drama! Academy for Girls! Sleeping Main Character! Macaroni and Cheese! US History! Pronunciation Guide! [/spoiler] Story: Spontaneous Human Combustion Never Hurt Anybody! Author: Donovyn Mikara Gerra [spoiler='7. You're Gonna Do XXX!';]A girl has been kidnapped. A guy asks a guy about it. Guy is bribed. The girl was kidnapped by...THEM! ...wait, who?[/spoiler] Story: Finders Keepers Author: Lunar Origin [spoiler='8. XXX, Buddy']Guy runs away from ruins of old city, chased by cop-types. Sees a guy. The guy killed his father. The guy (the runny guy, not the murdery guy) got a card. He has family, but they aren't his family. The police come. To be continued.[/spoiler] Story: Yu-Gi-Oh! Forbidden Truths Author: Decietful King [spoiler='9. What, Exactly, is a XXX?']Six Samurai, non-legendary. Kids want to be samurai. Grandmaster picks the ones with Japanese names. Author doesn't know that Field-Commander Rahz and the Marauding Captain are the same person (well, I think they are...they might be...).[/spoiler] Story: Six Samurai fanfic Author: Rupert Giles [spoiler='10. XXX Is This, Bro?']The author says this is better than Twilight. That's because it's about vampires. There's a vampire reading about spells. His dad gets killed. The main character gets away, goes to the human world. He kills someone to prove that the story is dark and edgy. Then he goes to a retired vampire (???) who explains the plot. Then he gets his Mid-Season Upgrade...at the end of the first chapter. Also the story is dark and edgy. It's not better than Twilight.[/spoiler] Story: VP FanFic Author: White Hollow [spoiler='11. Simon, Please Remove Your XXX']PROLOGUE: The best duelists are the ones who can topdeck. This story has a main character. CHAPTER 1: The main character is not the main character (?). He registers for a tournament. There is a girl in it. He gets Des Volstgalph. He bumps into the girl. Round One has epic bye action! Then another guy duels. He bumps into the girl. Then he loses.[/spoiler] Story: Chronicles of Oasis Reboot Author: syntheticsetty [spoiler='12. XXX, I Have Something to Ask of You']It's a crossover of YGO and something. idk what. Information is for losers. I figured it out; it's Macross Frontier...;another anime I've never seen. Plot things happened. There were 5D's characters. There's a duel spirit or something. Leo got a card. Apparently, people from space don't think card games are srs business. When Shapesnatch hypnotizes them with its horrible power, they'll reconsider.[/spoiler] Story: Stardust Frontier 2: Cinderella Duet [b]{This story wins the Most Awesome Title Award}[/b] Author: The Demon Lord [spoiler='13. Everybody, XXX to Your Hearts Content!'] PROLOGUE A kid hides in [s]Satellite[/s] this is totally a real world story. He meets a slightly huge man. The pedophile says he has a slightly finished attic the kid can stay in, because alleyways are dangerous. Hey, I'd stay away from a place called Introd. Whoever came up with that name sure as hell slightly didn't care. Oh, I almost forgot. The kid? One day...one day he'll get you back. Count on it. CHAPTER 1: The main character is woken up by his adorable Creepily Mature Little Sister stock character. He poses in front of a mirror so we know what he looks like. Secondary character #1 also poses in front of a mirror (different mirror...and different house) so we know what he looks like, too. Secondary character #2 punches his dad in the face because violence is hilarious. The main character does his best Rock Lee impression. Random passerby is not amused, because he's a hipster who thinks Naruto is dumb and that he understands Evangelion. The main character has a nickname because flashback. He met secondary characters #1-2 because flashback. He is then invited to [s]a Naruto fan club[/s] what no we totally have no idea what it is. What is this mysterious invitation? Does this story have anything to do with the prologue? What the crap is with this guy posting a chapter of an appropriate length? Some of these questions probably have answers. If you want to know them, read Trio of DEF.[/spoiler] Story: Trio of DEF Author: Fusion X. Denver [spoiler='14. XXX Are You, Everyone?']You may remember Crab reviewing something also called Yu-Gi-Oh! Generation neXt The Next Generation, a crossover between GX and Star Trek: The Next Generation. I especially liked how Captain Picard used Gradius spaceships and beat Jaden by using that combo that was so complicated but also really simple, and I like how it called back to the Picard Manuever - Except oh wait that was the hallucination I had when I played Rap is a Man's Soul and Clear Mind at the same time while watching Star Trek: Nemesis played backwards. Basically it's the first episode of GX, except instead of Jaden we have a Mary Sue. Yes, his deck was constructed by Pegasus. Really. But because this is The Next Generation, there has to be [i]twice[/i] as much duel, so the duel is going to be a [i]tag duel[/i] alongside the Syrus expy. Oh by the way, the Syrus expy is Yugi's son. To be continued. I forgot to mention, this story is written in the present tense. da f***?[/spoiler] Story: Yu-Gi-Oh! The Next Generation Author: D.Michael [spoiler='15. I'll Head Towards XXX']This story is about Pokemon. A guy speed-eats an apple. Darkrai is trolling people because it's evil. He walks a lot. Then he decides he's gotten enough Play Coins for his 3Ds, so he makes his Mightyena do the walking for him. He gets to a village. An old guy had a vision about him, because...plot? Maybe? He goes to sleep. He wakes up. Darkrai appears. He fights it (with a Pokemon, obviously). Apparently, in this story, the Legendaries are video game Legendaries which are just pretty strong, instead of anime Legendaries which are...legendary. Oh, also, Darkrai is evil. Why? Uh, [i]Dark[/i]rai. To be continued.[/spoiler] Story: The Darkness Within Author: ~Renegade~ [spoiler='16. Entire Polysynthesis']When we entered middle school, we thought we were already members of society, and that we could do anything. He closed his brownish-red eyes and yawned loudly, covering his mouth with his hand. He was already in his armour and was polishing his swords as he rambled on and on as Kizan opened his eyes. He knew none would disturb him, for none knew where he was, save his colleagues. Kristin watched from her place on the couch against the opposite wall, though she seemed less interested in the images that danced across the screen. Suddenly she heard a loud crash, "Cheruvet!" she heard a single voice say sharply. "I'm a man of my word" He stated, stroking his hand through his well-kept hair. The inner city was so close he could almost taste freedom. Nisashi hurriedly dressed and tidied himself up. Valeed was sitting and studying a book of Magical Spells, neither harmful nor defensive, simple showcase spells, like a ball of light for example. He was 17 when I first met him, a little headstrong and reckless but always there when you needed someone. "Target is a Category D under protection of Strategic Military Services by order of the Office of Frontier Presidency. Disengage immediately." [i]He's probably no older than my dearest niece![/i] I barely just passed the written exam, and now it's nearly time for the second test, a field duel. In the village he had stayed at the day before, he had heard stories of bandits in these parts of the plains.[/spoiler] Story: War and Peace Author: Immanuel pKant [spoiler='17. You Understand XXX!']Two guys are dueling. One of them is taller, the other one is larger (it makes sense if you don't think). One of them is the villain. He wins. Paragraphs are an unnecessary hindrance. The main character is a standard YGO fanfic protagonist. Like Jaden except without noticeable characteristics. His friends are a Syrus expy and a Kaiba/Chazz expy. He is in a tournament. In the first round, he is going to lose but then he wins.[/spoiler] Story: Yu-Gi-Oh! Protecting the pendants. Author: gimmepie [spoiler='18. I'll Make You XXX the Truth of the World']EPIC PHOTOSHOP LOGO This is a Yu-Gi-Oh! story. The author just failed to mention it in the title. Guy punches main character. Guy wants to steal main character's cards. Because this is YGO, he decides to duel the main character. They duel. Main character loses, but actually doesn't, because he has 100 Life Points left. [s]Kaito except not a villain[/s] a meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeestery duelist takes his place. He OTKs the guy.[/spoiler] Story: Painful Future Author: IceDorago [spoiler='19. We Shall XXX By Whatever We Do']Author explains the plot in [s]Chapter Plot[/s] a spoiler conveniently labeled ‘The Plot’. Guess I don't have to read this. ... PROLOGUE: Oh, a prologue, too? A large bulk man is butthurt because no one watches his show anymore. He decides the only logical choice is to kidnap the best duelists in the world and make them duel in his show. He is too much of a large bulk man to do anything other than switch between present and past tense. CHAPTER 1: Hello, my name is main character. Ask about my brooding. Apparently, after ZEXAL, Duel Monsters broke the world, so it's illegal now. KaibaCorp keeps releasing Duel Disks anyway, or something. Kanade is a girl's name, I think. My spidey-sense tells the main character is about to be kidnapped. Yep. Hello, my name is primary female character. Ask about my brooding - now with twice as much X chromosome! She takes care of kids at an orphanage. She broods about how they have no future. Or something. Or maybe they do. Maybe it's in a state of dimensional flux. Captain, if we reverse the polarity of the main deflector dish, we may be able to lock their future permanently into this dimension by hitting it with highly charged tachyon particles. Yeah, so anyway she gets kidnapped, too. Oh yeah and there's another character, but she's evil.[/spoiler] Story: Yu-Gi-Oh! Underground Tyranny Author: Dante v. Nero [spoiler='20: Oh God, To How Far Will You XXX Us?']PLOT: Something about a guy getting possessed and wanting to know that he's not dead. Then there's like an empire with his name and Beings From the Past and something about feudal China, and then they go back in time and then he disappeared forever. I think...? PROLOGUE: Lots of people talking in different colored text. The one guys are going back in time to get this guy, the other guys are maybe going back in time idk to get the same guy or something but probably for a different reason. Everybody's really whiny. That one guy from the prologue is getting possessed by [titledrop]L.O.N.E.[/titledrop]. There's also another guy. I think...?[/spoiler] Story: L.O.N.E. The Original Story: Introduction to the Franchise Author: Dark Necromancer [spoiler='21. You Must XXX']PROLOGUE (no first chapter): Main character gets frozen. Don't forget to ask about his brooding. A guy unfreezes him. A girl asks if the main character is alright. He answers by expositioning. Then he goes away. We get exposition. The main character engages in foreplay with his deck, so that we know this is a YGO story.[/spoiler] Story: Yu-Gi-Oh!~Calamity's Awakening Author: Divine Chaos [spoiler='22. That Is My Last XXX']Football. Football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football football girl.[/spoiler] Story: Field of Dreams Author: The First Mohican Yes, these are all named after Gurren Lagann episodes, with one word replaced with XXX, generally in a place that makes the sentence slightly uncomfortable. Because the Gurren Lagann songs always replace "drill" with XXX. Because...Gainax? I never claimed any of this was rational. ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWER Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bahamut - Envoy of the End Posted September 17, 2011 Report Share Posted September 17, 2011 Uh...................................huh. Right...... ......................... ......................... Well, I guess shooting down a story (and its authors hopes and dreams) is best done quickly, mercilessly, and in as few words as possible. Like ripping off a plaster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.Rai Posted September 17, 2011 Report Share Posted September 17, 2011 It's funny 'cos it's true. Time to rethink my game plan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not-so-Radiant Arin Posted September 18, 2011 Report Share Posted September 18, 2011 [quote name='Dr. Cakey-chan' timestamp='1316292584' post='5520901'] Read the first chapter of a story I haven't read or reviewed before, crappily summarize it...WHILE LISTENING TO THE GURREN LAGGAN SOUNDTRACK!! I will update erratically and in batches of three. [spoiler='1. Pierce the Heavens With Your XXX!'] Never saw Bokurano, don’t know what it’s about. Let’s go!!!!!! Starts with Chapter 0? wat no dis isnt teh prologue. A bunch of boring kids are going to a roller coaster for school because story. Boys talk about roller coasters. Girls talk about boys because that’s what girls do. They blush adorably. The roller coaster is broken, but a pedophile says they can play Neon Genesis Evangelion instead. Then they warp several hours into the future because…story? The robot appears. The Third Angel appears. They warp into the robot because story. The pedophile uses the robot to attack the weak point for massive damage. Then the kids go to the beach. [/spoiler] Story: Bokurano II Author: Ātman Seijo [spoiler='2. I Said I'd XXX It!'] So a guy has a crush on a girl. The one character I know about from Reborn! says he’s a mafia boss and he needs to find McGuffins that will [s]open the door to Ganondorf’s castle[/s] restore the family. Or something. Guys with guns appear. The baby kills the guy. He gets better. He goes Super Saiyan. The guys with guns die except they aren’t dead they’re unconscious. He stops being awesome. The girl hates him because he can has awesome power. He goes to Italy. [/spoiler] Story: Return of the Vongola Author: Chaos Sonic [spoiler='3. You Two-Faced Son of a XXX!'] PROLOGUE: Legendary Six Samurai. Apparently they’re not OP’d in this story. Kizan is lazy. Blackwing – Fane says hi. Also they mention the Karakuri. CHAPTER 1: Luna’s deck is sadfaced because Ancient Fairy Dragon disappeared. So did all the other archetypes’ boss monsters. They go looking in a random direction for Ancient Fairy Dragon. No, that’s it. Really. CHAPTER 2: Luna’s deck goes to a place covered in darkness. They meet Scrap Recycler. They talk to…Machine King? Then they go away. No, that's it. Really. [/spoiler] Story: Yu-Gi-Oh! Lustrous Spirits Author: Cursed Reaction Yes, these are all named after Gurren Lagann episodes, with one word replaced with XXX, generally in a place that makes the sentence slightly uncomfortable. Because the Gurren Lagann songs always replace "drill" with XXX. Because...Gainax? I never claimed any of this was rational. ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWER [/quote] You're serious, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fusion X. Denver Posted September 18, 2011 Report Share Posted September 18, 2011 OOH, OOH, DO ME, DO ME. DO DEF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted September 18, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2011 Dropped three more. ...YOU'VE GOT SOME NERVE COMIN' OUT HERE, INTO THE EYE OF THE STORM - [quote name='Devil's Advocate' timestamp='1316320276' post='5522206'] You're serious, right? [/quote] Um...yes? Not 100% sure what you're driving at. [quote name='Fusion X. Denver' timestamp='1316328961' post='5522422'] OOH, OOH, DO ME, DO ME. DO DEF. [/quote] I've got a bit of a backlog, but you will be the next to experience Rap-is-a-Man's-Soul...REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted September 19, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 Posted three more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phantom Roxas Posted September 19, 2011 Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 [s]While these summaries are hilarious, this thread breaks the rules of length, so I must lock this.[/s] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted September 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 23, 2011 Ding. Congratulations, we've reached the mid-season flashback episode. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Cakey Posted October 5, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 5, 2011 Yours is the bump that will pierce the - aw screw it it's not funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jolta Posted October 11, 2011 Report Share Posted October 11, 2011 BELIEVE IN YOU WHO BELIEVES IN- Wait, I don't even watch that show. Well, these are... fine summaries. [s]Except the last one, although its seemingly true.[/s] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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